“Can you hear me?” “Is it done?” “What time is it?

A million questions ran through my head as I began to peel off the sticky monitors
attached to my body.

“No, no sweetie leave that on” , the nurse said; throwing her clipboard down on the
edge of my bed so she can reattach the monitors I had managed to take off. The beeps
on the monitor became synced in my head, I knew it like the alphabet. I could still taste
the anesthesia swirling around my mouth as it filled with saliva. Everything felt so
surreal, was the operation the right choice? My mind instantly switched from worries to
regret. It had been seven months that I managed to make it with little to no hearing in
my ear. I had a massive hole in my left eardrum. The pain was unbearable, I didn’t know
where to put myself. I spent every morning counting down the days until my surgery .It
became hopeless. The surgeon spent months going over the possibilities the operation
would cause, there was a chance I would completely go deaf. My heart was set on
pursuing . I wanted to be normal.

Junior year, I had my work cut out for me. Waking up everyday to the same swollen
side of my face became normal, I began to forget what it was like to get a good night
sleep. I made sure to get to all of my classes early, so I was guaranteed the front seat.
Between working 25 hours a week and staying up until the chemistry labs were
completed , I was drained. Everyone who I had expressed my pain to, gave me the
same speech. “ Once you get the operation done you’ll feel like a new person, try and
hang on for now”. I was tired of hearing it. The pain got to me. It affected my social life,
I didn’t want to leave the house because I knew I wouldn’t have fun. All I could think
about was what if I never get better… I trapped myself in a negative bubble. April was
finally approaching, it felt like my nerves were nibbling at my stomach the entire month.
After the operation, I didn’t feel any better. My worst fear was coming to real life. I began
to realize that patience is key, I need to give it time to work out.

As the months went on, I started to see a change. I could finally hear out of both
ears. Everything fell into place. After experiencing a big health issue at only sixteen it
has shaped me into who I am while writing this essay. Looking back at how I viewed this
obstacle then, now shows me how much I have grown since the operation. The situation
wasn’t ideal, but it taught me to allow pain because it only makes me stronger. While
preparing to leave high school, this has shown me I am strong because I granted myself
to be. As Muhammad Ali said “ It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you
down, it’s the pebble in your shoe”.