INTRODUCTION AND OBJECTIVE

“In genuine dialogue, neither person is hiding an inner monologue. You are
not talking to yourself in the background. You are talking with each other,
and only with each other”.

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 MONOLOGUE

A monologue is an extended, uninterrupted speech or poem by a single person. The

person may be speaking his or her thoughts aloud or directly addressing other
persons, e.g. an audience, a character, reader, or inanimate object.

As a literary device, it is most common in dramatic genres (plays, animated

cartoons, film) but can also be found in prose fiction. The term can also be applied to
poems, which usually take the form of the thoughts or speech of a single individual.
In everyday usage, a long, rather boring speech by a conversation partner is
sometimes called a monologue as well.

There are different terms for monologues in plays. Although they are often used
synonymously, they serve to distinguish monologues with regard to the addressee.

• If a speech is addressed to another person or group of people, it is called a

Monologue.
• If a speech is addressed to the speaker himself, it is called a soliloquy.

Monologues can also be distinguished with regard to their frame of reference. A

speech addressed to a character or a group of characters within the play (including
the speaker himself) is called an interior monologue. A speech addressed to the
audience is called an exterior monologue. Sometimes a speech addressed to an
absent character is also called an exterior monologue.

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 DIALOGUE

Dialogue is talk between two or more persons. In business, dialogue means an

exchange of ideas and opinions between two persons, groups or countries, on a
particular issue. The purpose of dialogue is to reach a friendly and amicable
agreement.
Dialogue in business is not the skill of debate where you have to defend your
position. You need interpersonal skills for business dialogue. Both parties need to
tune in, build rapport, have to aim at reaching a closure which is satisfactory to both.
If the subject of dialogue is agreeable, it is no difficult to carry on a dialogue.
But sometimes, the subject may be unpleasant; there may be controversial issues.
You can create an atmosphere of friendliness, by being inclusive and having empathy
with others. Being inclusive means making the other person feel that his
contribution, views, ideas are as important as your own. Empathy means showing
your understanding of how the other person feels.

Situations in which conversational skills are needed

Dialogue skills are needed

• In oral communication situation, whether face-to-face or over a telephone.
• In meetings, during question asked or answered, dissatisfaction expressed and
pacified.
• In interviews, in which two parties assess each other and come to conclusions
and decisions.

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SKILLS NEEDED FOR DIALOGUE

Dialogue skills require self-control. You cannot control how or what other people talk,
but you can control what you yourself do. The only way to control others’ talk is to
control your own. Clarify to yourself, the purpose of dialogue and be sure of what
outcome you desire, so that you can aim at it and work towards it.

Appearance and clothing

Always practice impeccable grooming. It is insulting to others to show a lack of
concern about your appearance.

Speak clearly and pleasantly

Cultivate a pleasant and friendly way of speaking. Speak in low voice and gestures.
• Vary the voice to avoid a monotone.
• Ask people about there interests.
• Do not interrupt others; wait and listen politely till they complete.
• Be well-informed on business environment, cultural events, or sports.

Good manners and etiquette

Learn how to introduce and how to pay compliments.
Introducing: introductions are the few moments in which critical first impressions are
made. Generally impressions are made within 20-30 seconds upon meeting
someone.
Some rules:-
• Business introductions are based on hierarchy.
• A client always comes before anyone in your organization.
• An elected official comes before a non-official.
• Introduce a junior executive to a senior executive.

Introducing yourself: Always use both, your name and surname when introducing
yourself. Be clear and concise in your introduction; speak in an engaging tone.
Construct an introduction that is interesting and easy to remember, and yet
professional. It should not take more than fifteen seconds to deliver.

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Paying compliments: paying compliments is an art. It is an expression of
appreciation. To improve any personal or business relationship, find something about
the other person that you honestly appreciate, respect, or agree with – and find a
graceful way to say it.
Keep the following points in mind-
• A compliment should be moderate and genuine appreciation.
• Express it in a positive, sincere and friendly manner.
• Compliments should have no other motive than to recognize someone for
something special.
• Do not ask where they bought it or how much they paid for it.
• Never boast about your own clothes or possessions or achievements.

Responding to compliments: When someone pays you a compliment,

acknowledge it and thank the person graciously.

Self control
Gaining self-control takes time and patient practice. In business dialogue, it is
important to control your impulse to talk. It takes a great deal to remain cool when
your own views are attacked in an unmannerly style.

Listening
The skill of listening is very important for the success of dialogue. The benefits of
listening include
• Finding out more information
• Learning about people and how their minds work
• Improving relations with people
• Obtaining suggestions and new ideas
• Being able to help with solving problems

Silence
It may seem strange, but maintaining silence is a valuable and powerful
communication skill. A mature person is able to keep silent and let the other person
talk first. First learn to gain control over your desire to express yourself while
someone is talking on your favorite topic.

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 Be aware and remain in control of your body language. Posture, facial
expression and eye contact must show that your silence is deliberate. Otherwise it
will look as if you are struck dumb by the aggression of other person. On the same
time, you need the ability to endure the other person’s silence and the skill to break
it.

Non-verbal behavior
Remember that 55% of meaning is carried by body language, 38% is carried by the
voice (paralanguage) and only 7% by the words. In a conversation, both need the
ability to sense the feelings behind the words by observing the body language.
Pleasant appearance and friendly body language are a great advantage.

Asking questions
The question is a powerful in dialogue. Questions can make people uncomfortable.
Question must be asked for clarification in a non-threatening tone, showing genuine
desire to understand better. Questions asked in an aggressive style can make the
other person withdraw from. Ask open-ended question which can not be answered
with a simple yes or no.
• Do not ask questions that make others feel uncomfortable and defensive.
• Ask for their advice.
• Offer alternatives.
• Ask about their feelings.
• Repeat back what they said.

Assertiveness without aggression

Assertiveness is reasonable behavior. Assertive persons hold their own ground and
work to find reasonable working compromises, so here are no losers. Assertiveness
is not just a set of techniques. It requires self-knowledge, understanding of one’s
own the skills and limitations, a sense of self-worth and recognition of one’s own and
other people’s rights and responsibilities.

Expressing disagreement without being offensive

If you disagree with someone’s statement, you may feel tempted to express your
self aggressively. If you learn to be positively assertive, you have an effective way to

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respond when you do not agree with someone. If you are assertive, you can express
disagreement without being offensive. When you disagree, instead of not keeping
silent or responding aggressively, try positive assertiveness.

Summarizing
It is important to summarize the previous speaker’s view, especially when you
disagree with it. It is a restatement without any comment and must be spoken in an
objective tone and manner without indicating any opposition by tone of voice or
facial expression.

Closure
Ending on a pleasant note is always beneficial for relationships. Leave-taking is as
important as greeting; it leaves the final impression. Whether the conversation has
been smooth and easy or difficult and bumpy, the final words must pave the way for
continuing relationship. The main points and conclusions should be summarized.

Feedback skills
A business dialogue can go on peacefully and usefully only when both parties clarify
their points of view. Relationships between persons are important for any joint effort,
and communication forms the relationships. Feedback involves three skills, getting or
eliciting feedback, receiving and accepting feedback and giving feedback.

Getting feedback: watch for glimpses of the listener’s feelings from the expression
on the face. Feedback on emotional reaction of the other person helps to achieve the
most suitable style.
If you are a good observer and good listener, you can get feedback more easily. You
must be able and willing o maintain silence and interest while others speak. You
must
Be alert to see non-verbal feedback which is often given unconsciously and indicates
emotional reaction.

Receiving feedback: once you get feedback, you must be able to receive and
accept it without feeling threatened. It is easy to feel angry when you find that the
other person has not understood what you explained. Seek and receive feedback
with a genuine desire to improve and facilitate the conversation.

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Be non-defensive. Listen attentively. If the feedback is vague, seek clarifications and
ask for specific instances.

Giving feedback: as listener, you have the responsibility to give feedback. Check
your own understanding by summarizing, by asking for clarifications, and whenever
possible, by sating your own views and feeling in response to the communication.
Give feedback in a positive manner. Be specific, not general or vague. Be descriptive,
not evaluative. Be sure of your own motive in giving feedback. It should be given for
a genuine reason and not to put down someone.

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 Monologue vs. Dialogue

Here are incidents which will clear both the words.

The past election process was an interesting to observe. Outside the history-
making results, it was intriguing to observe the process of the candidates declaring
their positions.
Much of what have been observed between candidates would be best
categorized as monologue. One candidate would talk at the other. They seldom
exchanged ideas and engaged in each other’s philosophical processes. There was
little true debate where one candidate seriously considered the other’s view.
Truth be told, many couples do the same in their relationships. They
take turns talking at each other, rather than with each other. Their predominant
interaction style would be better labeled monologue rather than dialogue.
Why is this? One reason is that monologue is much safer. If I talk at
you, then I don’t have to risk hearing your position. As a result, I won’t run the risk
of being influenced by you. I can keep a grip on my demand to be right, and thereby
make you wrong.
This posture doesn’t work very well, of course, for relationship building.
It minimizes the other partner. It’s disrespectful, arrogant and frustrating. But that
doesn’t stop some from persisting with it.
When partners engage in power struggles, it’s often assumed that one’s
partner wants to totally dominate and control the other. While that may be true in
some cases, most of the time a partner doesn’t want to have total control.
Instead, they want to know they have influence—that their partner is giving
them the respect to hear them out and to seriously consider their position. They
want to know that their opinion matters to their partner.
This can only happen when partners engage in dialogue with each other

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 FINAL THOUGHT

It’s not that you can’t be thinking while you are talking. Of course you are. But are
your thoughts directed into the conversation, or are they part of a competing,
plotting, inner monologue? Does the other person have a second voice in his head,
hidden from you yet obscuring the true meaning of what you hear him say?

This is the intersection between being fully present and conversation. If you
are talking to yourself, you can’t be in true dialogue with another person.

If you want to create a memorable encounter with someone, don’t expect a

30-second monologue to do the trick, no matter how well it is crafted. You will have
much better success if you focus, instead, on creating a 30-second dialogue.

Humans don’t connect with monologues the way they connect with dialogues
in which they are engaged. If you want to communicate with someone, don’t talk at
them. Talk with them.

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 BIBLIOGRAPHY AND WEB SOURCE

1. Urmila Rai, S.M.Rai, “Business Communication”, Himalaya Publishing House.

2. jeffkingcounseling.com/blog/?p=20 - 9k

3. www.league.org/services/dialogue_monologue.html

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