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Doing good to parents « Prophet Muhammad

p.b.u.h

7-9 minutes

Allah says:

(Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship, and do good
to parents)

[Surat An-nisaa, 36]

The deep meaning in this ayah is: whereas worship is due to

Allah, being dutiful is due to parents, hence, we should
differentiate between worship and being dutiful. You should be
dutiful to your parents, you should prefer them over yourself,
and you should be at their service as long as you live. That is
the meaning of being dutiful.
In Arabic, the style of this sentence “bilwalidain Ihsana” is
different from the ordinary style. The meaning, as scholars
understood is that you should do good to your parents as if you
are stuck with them. You should serve them yourself. A man
might be busy, so he asks his driver to give his father a ride or
he asks someone to check on his mother’s needs. That is not
enough, as you should take care of your parents yourself. You
should stick to them.
Parents sometimes are done with matters of life, and they need
to see their children and to be with them.

Dear bothers, in some countries now, family ties are broken.

When a man gets ill, he is taken to a nursing home, however,
what makes this old man happy is to be with his children.
A very rich woman, who was a mother of many children, got
paralyzed. Her sons got bored of serving her. Their wives
pushed them to send her to a nursing home. She found herself
in a luxurious nursing home in which all her needs were met,
but all that was not like being with her children. She called the
notary and registered all her wealth to charity, leaving nothing
to her children.

Dear brothers, there is science called psychology of the elders

According to which they found that old people are so sensitive.
What makes them happy? It is to be with their children. The
worst service among one’s children is better than the best
service in a nursing home.
If one’s father is young, educated and wise and doesn’t need
his children, it is so easy to satisfy him, but when he gets old,
weak, and he needs service, cleaning and special kinds of food,
he turns into a burden. At this stage, you need to satisfy him.
Allah says:

(And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him.
And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both
of them attain old age in your life, say not to them uff (a word
of disrespect))

[Surat Al-Israa,23]

What is “uff”? It is a loud expiration and it is the least of what is

forbidden. It is similar to slamming the door in the face of your
parents. Some sons and daughters – I seek refuge with Allah-
say bad words to their mothers, or hit their fathers. If the word
“uff” is forbidden, what do you think of what is more than it?
Some scholars said: If there were a word less than ‘uff’, Allah
would have mentioned it.
Allah says:

(Say not to them uff (a word of disrespect), nor shout at them

but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the
wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My
Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up
when I was small.)

[Surat Al-Israa, 23-24]

You can’t find an ayah in the Quran in which Allah enjoins

parents to be good towards their children, why? That is
because love for one’s children is a nature in human being. Is
there a legislation of enjoining people to have breakfast, or else
they would go to jail? There is no need for that, all people get
hungry, and they must eat, this is a nature, so it doesn’t need
legislation. Love for one’s children is a nature in human being.
Every mother, whether she is a Muslim or a polytheist, and
whether she is good or bad loves her children, but not every
son and daughter love their parents. Thus, Allah enjoins people
to be dutiful to their parents
Allah says:

(And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his

parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon
weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give
thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final
destination.)

[Surat Luqman, 14]

Glory be to Allah! Think of the fetus, it needs calcium, and if the

mother doesn’t drink enough milk or cheese in order to suffice
the needs of them both, the fetus will take its need of calcium
from its mother’s bones and that will cause cavities in her
teeth, not to mention having fragile bones.
Allah says:

(His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon

weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give
thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final
destination.)

[Surat Luqman, 14]

It is said in some traditions:

Let the one who disobeys his parents do whatever he wants, he

will never enter Paradise.

I advise you not to have a partnership with someone

disobedient to his parents. If he was good, he would have been
good towards his parents. Don’t have partnership with such
person, and don’t deal with him. He is a bad person.

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him
peace) was asked:
Which action Allah loves best. He replied, “Prayer at its proper
time.” ‘Then what?’ The man asked. He said, “Then kindness to
parents.” He asked, ‘Then what?’ He replied, “Then jihad in the
Way of Allah.”

[Al-bukhari and Muslim]

The greatest deed is prayer at its proper time, then kindness to

parent, and then jihad in the cause of Allah.

Abu Huraira (may Allah be please with him) said:

A person came to Allah’s Messenger and said: Who among the

people is most deserving of a fine treatment from me? He said:
Your mother. He again said: Then who (is the next one)? He
said: Again it is your mother (who deserves the best treatment
from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the
Prophet) said: Again, it is your mother. He (again) said: Then
who? Thereupon he said: Then it is your father.

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

The prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) was
asked:

Which woman has the greatest right on man? He said: Your

mother has the greatest right on you. And when he was asked
about the man who has the greatest right on woman, he said:
Her husband.
Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-‘Aas said: A man came to the
messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace)
and said: ‘I take the oath of allegiance to you for hijrah
(emigration) and jihad, seeking reward from Allah.’ The Prophet
(may Allah bless him and grant him peace) enquired whether
either of his parents were living. On his replying that both of
them were, the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him
peace) said, ‘Are you (really) seeking reward from Allah?’ ‘Yes,’
the man said. The Prophet (peace be on him) then said, ‘Go
back to your parents and be a good companion to them.’

[Reported by Muslim]

Serving the parents is jihad in the cause of Allah.

Dear brothers, I hope this lectures about being dutiful to
parents would be translated into a reality or it would be
useless. If you say: a billion, it is nothing. To have this amount
of money is something and to say the number is something
else.

Translation : Maha Sulieman

Auditing : Noora Al Sharabi