Negotiation Strategies

Distributive Approach
The distributive view of negotiation is the traditional fixed-pie approach. That is, negotiators see the situation as a pie that they have to divide
between them. Each tries to get more of the pie and “win.” For example, managers may compete over shares of a budget. If marketing gets a 10
percent increase in its budget, another department such as R&D will need to decrease its budget by 10 percent to offset the marketing increase.
Focusing on a fixed pie is a common mistake in negotiation, because this view limits the creative solutions possible.
Integrative Approach
A newer, more creative approach to negotiation is called the integrative approach. In this approach, both parties look for ways to integrate their
goals under a larger umbrella. That is, they look for ways to expand the pie, so that each party gets more. This is also called a win–win approach.
The first step of the integrative approach is to enter the negotiation from a cooperative rather than an adversarial stance. The second step is all
about listening. Listening develops trust as each party learns what the other wants and everyone involved arrives at a mutual understanding. Then,
all parties can explore ways to achieve the individual goals. The general idea is, “If we put our heads together, we can find a solution that addresses
everybody’s needs.” Unfortunately, integrative outcomes are not the norm. A summary of thirty-two experiments on negotiations found that
although they could have resulted in integrated outcomes, only 20 percent did so.Thompson, L., & Hrebec, D. (1996). Lose-lose agreements in
interdependent decision making. Psychological Bulletin, 120, 396–409. One key factor related to finding integrated solutions is the experience of
the negotiators who were able to reach them.Thompson, L. (1990). Negotiation behavior and outcomes: Empirical evidence and theoretical
issues. Psychological Bulletin, 108, 515–32.
Over the net: Encouraging win-win solutions through conflict resolutioMary M Addison and Dolores A. Westmoreland
School disruptions and violence can be minimized by teaching young people how to manage differences. The authors outline five strategies that can aid youth in
resolving conflict: training in active listening, behavior examination, tolerance, problem-solving, and creative negotiating.
Two senior volleyball players arrived in the office because they had been fighting. When the girls were questioned regarding their dispute, Gracie
stated that she felt as if Tia had not tried her best at the previous day’s volleyball competition. Gracie felt that if Tia had been more observant, the
opposing team wouldn’t have scored as many points. Tia responded by saying that it was not Gracie’s place to tell her how to play volleyball. Tia
said that if Gracie had attended the daily aftemoon practices, she would have known the proper playing strategies. Both girls were frustrated
because they had lost the game to a team they should have beaten easily.
Similarly, in the office of an elementary assistant principal, two fourth-grade boys were defending their positions regarding a lunchroom
confrontation. George told the assistant principal, "Andre called me stupid when I accidentally hit him in the arm with my tray as I sat down at the
table." Andre’s response was that George had deliberately hit him in the arm, causing Andre’s milk to spill over the food on his tray. Because the
spilled milk spoiled Andre’s meal, he reacted by calling George stupid. George responded with, "Who are you calling stupid?" When Andre replied,
"You, dummy;” a fight ensued. In both cases, the conflict between the two parties resulted in a violent confrontation.
Conflicts occur between students on any given school day. Many of these conflicts arise because the individuals involved subscribe to different
value systems regarding such subjects as religion, personal beliefs, social diversity, principles, or actions. Each individual regards his or her values as
more acceptable than those held by the other. Students see these values as bad or good, right or wrong, correct or incorrect. Opposing views,
needs, drives, or demands are a natural part of daily life. The conflict itself is neither positive nor negative; it is the individual’s response to the
situation that determines the nature of the conflict.
Responses to Conflict
When a conflict arises between two individuals, their response to the situation could be gentle, tough, or solution-seeking. In the first two
responses, the combatants align themselves with a given position regarding the situation and attempt either to avoid confrontation or prove that
they are correct in their views.
Gentle response. The gentle response occurs between two students who are friends and wish to remain amicable for the sake of future
associations. They will try to avoid, ignore, or deny the confrontation and prefer to yield their position or withdraw from the conflict. When both
parties cede their positions for the sake of harmony, neither side is satisfied and lose-lose status results. If one of the students accepts the other’s
position on a given difference, he has placed himself in a lose-win situation. His needs have not been satisfied, and he may see himself as a martyr.
Tough response. The stronger stance is that of the tough reaction. Here the student will verbally threaten or raise her voice to illustrate her point or
position against a challenger. If these two actions do not elicit the desired response, the student will physically push or hit her antagonist to gain an
advantage in the argument. This stance is observed more in the school environment because students are not emotionally mature and have a
tendency to overreact. The stronger willed student will quickly defeat the weaker opponent and, as in the gentle reaction, a win-lose situation
occurs. Both parties will often harm themselves in an effort to vindicate their positions against their perceived enemy.
Solution-seeking response. The preferred response is a solution-seeking response, in which both parties attempt to seek an amicable solution to
their disagreement or differences through negotiation and consensus decision. These mature individuals arrive at a solution that satisfies the need
of each person and preserves their future relationship. This response is one that must be taught.
Gracie, Tia, George, and Andre selected the tough response. The girls did not seek an amicable solution to their team’s loss, but were intent upon
placing the blame on each other. Similarly, the two fourth graders did not consider that both might have been responsible for the accident. Andre
might have had his chair extended into the lunchroom aisle, causing George to hit him accidentally George might have been looking across the
lunchroom, not noticing that he was about to walk into Andre’s arm. The solution-seeking response would involve taking these factors into
consideration through conflict resolution to produce a win-win situation.
Conflict Resolution Curriculum
Conflict resolution is being introduced into the curricula of many school districts (Adeyeme, 2000; Jeweler & Barnes-Robinson, 1999; Sweeney &
Carruthers, 1996). The objective of conflict resolution is to empower students to reach solutions to their problems in a nonviolent manner. In many
secondary schools, the counseling staff prepares and presents the concepts for conflict resolution training, which can be easily incorporated within
the regular lesson plan ofmost courses. For example, in music class, a teacher may discuss the concept of harmony and discord and compare them
to the problem-solving processes of conflict resolution. Biology classes could discuss symbiosis and relate the relationship to the opposing views of
a conflict being resolved successfully through negotiation. Physical education instructors could compare and contrast competitive and cooperative
sporting events, which promote or impede a peaceful environment.
For conflict resolution lessons to be successful, students must first understand the basic theory regarding conflict and then consider possible
options for its resolution. The following should be included in a basic presentation of conflict theory:
Conflict origins. When two or more persons interact, there is the potential for conflict because of differing opinions. In the school environment,
conflicts between students usually occur because of three major issues:
Resources - students want the same item, but there is only one.
Needs - students have different desires, but only one can be met.
Goals - students have different opinions or ideas and only one may be utilized.
Productive and nonproductive conflict. Students should be aware that not all conflict is negative. When differing opinions produce a better result,
conflict can be productive.
Categories of arguments. Students should be introduced to the three principal categories of arguments:
Primary arguments. These arguments involve values or predetermined decisions and are usually unresolvable.
Secondary arguments. These arguments do not have value statements and could be resolved.
Ad hominem arguments. These arguments include a personal attack on one of the parties, thus removing any hope of resolution. (When Andre
called George stupid, the conflict escalated into one of nonresolution.)
Normalcy of anger. Anger is a normal emotion and should be expressed; however, it may be either constructive or destructive. Students must
acquire techniques for using anger positively. Had Andre not called George stupid, the outcome of their conflict could have been much different.
Conflict Resolution Strategies
Students can use a number of conflict resolution techniques to produce a win-win solution, including active listening, behavior examination,
tolerance, effective problem-solving, and creative negotiating. Once these strategies are taught, students can implement them in real-life activities.
When students practice the techniques while engaged in relevant situations, they can evaluate the effectiveness of the strategies and suggest
alternative strategies for successful resolution.
Active listening. Everyone can benefit from practicing active listening. With the hectic pace of each day, listeners often allow distractions to
interfere with their ability to listen actively. As educators, we have the tendency to believe that we know what the student is going to tell us before
he or she completes a thought. This judgmental perception can impede successful resolution to any given dilemma. As Lord Chesterfield has said,
"Many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request." An active listener recognizes that a statement has several meanings and
will seek to translate the statement into the correct context in a nonjudgmental way. This is a valuable skill for all to acquire because it can defuse
many potential crises. The listening mirror and reflecting on conversation exercises are useful tools for active listeners.
Listening mirror. Elementary students can learn active listening by constructing a listening mirror. Using this strategy, the teacher will hold up a
hand mirror and ask the students what they see when they look into the mirror. Most will indicate that they see themselves in the mirror. The
teacher should then tell them that they see their reflection in the mirror, which is their image returning to them through the glass. Tell the students
that they will learn another type of reflection that is not seen with a mirror - reflecting their partner’s words. Give the students a sheet of paper
that has a picture of a hand mirror printed on it. Tell them that they are going to construct their own listening mirror. After they decorate their
mirrors and have them laminated, give them washable pens to use on the mirror. As they practice listening to their partner, the students will write
on the mirror the words they hear. This gives them an opportunity to really listen to the other person and record what is being said. Tell the
students that when a dispute occurs, each student will be given an opportunity to listen to the other student and record what is really being said on
the listening mirror. Perhaps if Andre and George had recorded each other’s feelings and perceptions on the listening mirror, the fight might not
have occurred.
Reflecting on conversation. Students should recognize that every listening interaction is a challenge and that they must learn to change their
listening perceptions to truly hear what is being said and considered important. Teachers or youth workers may aid older students in developing
these skills with conversation reflecting. For this exercise, students divide into groups of three. Designate one of the students to be the facilitator
and recorder while the other two assume the roles of talker or listener. When the facilitator gives the signal, the talker begins to speak to the
listener on any subject. The listener must close his eyes while listening to the talker. The listener should be observant of changes in the speaker’s
voice inflection or tone, which might indicate important interest being displayed by the talker. After 3 to 5 minutes of talking, allow the listener to
reflect on the conversation from his or her perspective. Allow the students to reverse the talking and listening roles and repeat the exercise.
Behavior examination. Students should be taught to express their feelings without aggression, but they should also understand that anger is a
natural feeling that all people experience. It is the way that anger is handled that results in positive or negative behavior. Elementary-age students
can be taught to examine their angry behavior with the following exercise:
Angry shakes. Bring a blender to class and make a shake using vanilla ice cream, strawberry-flavored drink, and milk. Put some vanilla ice cream in
the blender and tell the students that it represents a conflicting situation. For example, it might be some student who is angry because his or her
younger sibling borrowed a CD without permission. Tell them that if they react to the situation by yelling at their brother or sister, it is like adding
strawberry drink to the ice cream. Pour some of the strawberry drink into the blender and mix it with the ice cream. Ask the students what color
the shake is (red). When they express their feelings about a situation by yelling or hitting their sibling, they have expressed their anger
inappropriately and changed the situation (like the color of the shake) into one of violence. Pour the shake into a glass and rinse out the blender.
Again, place vanilla ice cream in the blender and add milk or a clear drink. Tell the students that if they react calmly to the situation and explain to
the younger sibling how they feel when their possessions are taken without permission, the situation will remain calm (like the color of the shake)
and the younger brother or sister will understand the importance of not borrowing without permission. Allow the students to give examples of
their own feelings towards others and how they behave. Let the students sample the different shakes. Andre’s reaction was obviously a strawberry
one and he needs to learn to express his anger in a more constructive manner.
Instead of making a shake, high school students could role-play different situations involving conflict and the class could critique how the expressed
feelings were handled.
Tolerance. Students must be trained to be tolerant of others whom they perceive to be different. A timely example that could interest students of
all ages can be found in the Harry Potter series. Students can read or listen to the story regarding how Harry’s relatives are not tolerant of his being
a wizard. Real-life parallels could be drawn to include students in school who dress, talk, or think differently from the norm and how others treat
them. Peter, Paul and Mary recorded a song titled "I’m in Love With a Big Blue Frog," which discusses ethnic intolerance. Playing the song for
secondary students would give them an opportunity to react to ethnic intolerance, and parallels could be drawn to the Holocaust and slavery.
Problem solving and successful decision-making. Students must actively seek solutions and make positive decisions in difficult situations instead of just
giving up or becoming aggressive. One classic method of teaching this strategy is to invent or read a story about a conflicting situation and, as the
story reaches the point of conflict, stop and have the students brainstorm solutions. Students should be encouraged to provide solutions that will
allow both parties to "save face."
Creative negotiating. Students should practice negotiation exercises to develop creative methods of achieving collaborative harmony. Students of all
ages could be asked by their instructors if they have ever communicated with their parents regarding a longer time to watch television, to remain
outside playing with friends, or to stay out on a date. Point out that they were negotiating with their parents for this permission. Ask them what
strategies were the most successful with their parents and which ones did not work. Divide the class into groups of four to six students for practice
negotiating age-appropriate conflict scenarios. Then further divide their members into two subgroups to discuss opposing sides of an issue.
A teacher could present students with a real-life situation that could be resolved through negotiation. Have the students negotiate a settlement
and report back to the group. For example, younger students might discuss sharing a television with their siblings and negotiating television
viewing time slots for favorite programs that might occur at the same hour. Secondary students might discuss changes in the school cafeteria with
the administration.
Successful Resolutions
What would Tia and Gracie or George and Andre have done differently if given the tools to reach a positive solution to their conflict? Educators can
help prevent disagreements and arguments from escalating into senseless violence by teaching youth conflict resolution strategies. In addition to
significantly reducing the number of academic disruptions and disciplinary referrals, these strategies can also be applied beyond the school setting
to improve relationships in families and the community.
Avoiding eye contact when walking by one another in the empty hallways. Blood boiling beneath the surface when you hear their name. That
feeling of dread in your stomach (that you hope doesn’t show on your face) when you’re teamed up together. No, I’m not talking about drama
between students; I’m referring to the challenge of conflict with school colleagues.
Teaching is stressful. With high stakes, low resources, and so many personalities under one roof, conflict inevitably arises. And when it does, it
causes tension, increases stress, and decreases productivity. As much as we try to hide it, our students sense it, too. I’ll be the first to admit that
I’ve had conflict with school colleagues over the years, and although it’s not conducive to a happy environment, it has certainly taught me valuable
lessons about handling conflict. Here are several common school colleague conflicts and how you might handle them.
1. Conflict: You’re the newbie and written off as inexperienced.
Resolution: Let your work speak for itself.
Don’t we all come out of college with our proverbial guns blazing?! I know I did! And the veteran teachers in my building were none too thrilled
with what they referred to as “all the extra work I was creating with my bright ideas.” I found that letting my actions speak louder than my words
was the way to success. Forging sincere bonds with students, establishing a good rapport with colleagues, and having open lines of communication
with administration is the best way to start donning the cloak of competency.
2. Conflict: There is inconsistency amongst teachers.
Resolution: Involve someone unbiased.
One other teacher and I were both teaching sophomore English, aka The Year of the Research Paper. Though the student expectations were clear
on paper, namely on the rubric we had created together, I later learned that the other teacher was only requiring two pages, when we originally agreed
on three- to five-page papers. She had changed other requirements, too, like the amount of in-class time she was allowing her students to work. It
was difficult to field student and parent questions like, “Why are we doing so much more?!” without throwing my colleague under the bus. Finally,
I deferred to our department chair for help. With a mediator, we came to a resolution and moved on. (And followed the rubric, thank you very
much.)
3. Conflict: You get along with your principal, but they treat others poorly.
Resolution: Use humor and speak up.
I had a fantastic relationship with our building principal; he was supportive and lavished my work with compliments. But he never hid his disdain
for others, and it made me uncomfortable to be the recipient of his professionalism and kindness while he kept it from some of my colleagues. I
used humor to break the ice and eventually told my principal something like, “You know, I think so-and-so is going to go home and cry after what
you said to her today.” That opened up an honest dialogue about how he was treating some of our teachers. I don’t know if he ever realized just
how harsh he sounded, so I’m glad I spoke up.
4. Conflict: Team teaching is a train wreck.
Resolution: Try a new approach.
Team teaching can be an amazing experience for both educators and students. However, it must be done correctly to be effective. For instance, team
teaching is not one teacher teaching and the other “tutoring.” This happened to a friend of mine, and fortunately, the solution was very simple:
After learning her team teacher wasn’t very confident in preparing certain lessons, my friend started making her to-do lists. Her colleague found
them helpful, not obnoxious, and so began their successful professional relationship!
5. Conflict: Blatant nepotism rears its ugly head.
Resolution: Decide when it’s worth the fight and when it’s not.
I once had a colleague show up to school intoxicated. This would be grounds for immediate termination for anyone else, but my colleague’s father
just happened to be the mayor of our small town—providing her limitless impunity and a convenient excuse to tell the students, “Miss X had a bad
reaction to prescription medication.” I was annoyed—okay, infuriated—by my district’s glaring admission that one teacher was immune to
consequence. But at the end of the day, I had a job I loved. I had to prioritize the positives in order to deal with the negatives.
Conflict with school colleagues is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to fester. It’s important to address issues head on and constructively. Your working
relationship—and your school—will be better for it.
onflicts between classmates are a normal part of growing up—but left unchecked, peer problems can interrupt classtime, cause emotional stress,
and derail your students’ learning. Giving your students some simple problem-solving tools can help them work through peer conflicts before they
interfere with academics and lead to bigger social-emotional challenges.
When something as complex and critical as social-emotional development is on the line, many teachers seek out programs they can work into their
existing curricula to support their students’ social-emotional learning. Merrell’s Strong Kidsis one of the best—it’s a set of age-appropriate curricula
that help students develop the social-emotional skills they need to manage their challenges and succeed in school and life. The new editions are
just about to make their debut, and they’re amazing tools for teachers and students.
This post, excerpted and lightly adapted from Strong Kids–Grades 3-5, gives you a few sample scripts and activities you can use to get students
thinking about healthy, positive ways to resolve interpersonal conflicts.
Introduce the four-step problem-solving model
A problem-solving model is a way to solve disagreements one step at a time. Conflicts are challenging, and using problem-solving strategies to
achieve a workable compromise requires patience and creativity. Here’s a sample script and a handout you can use with your students to introduce
a four-step problem-solving model.
Sample script to introduce the model: Sometimes, conflicts can seem confusing and impossible to resolve. It’s even hard to figure out what the conflict is exactly,
and it may make you want to just not deal with it at all or to resort to giving the other person the silent treatment. Ignoring conflicts may seem to work in the moment,
but in the long run, the problem is not being dealt with in a healthy way. Today we’ll learn how to look at a problem in small steps to help us see the conflict more
clearly in order to problem-solve in a situation.
Give your students this handout to discuss the four steps to problem solving:
Identify the problem
Develop a plan
Evaluate the plan
Implement the plan
Remind students that they can reference this handout to help them remember the steps.
Sample script to introduce the handout: Did you know there are four steps we can use to solve a problem? We’re going to practice using these with different
situations. Using the steps will help us come to a good solution. You’ll also learn about showing empathy and how to compromise when it is appropriate in social
interactions. In situations where you try and nothing is working in the moment, you may sometimes have to smile, be patient, and politely say, “I hear what you’re
saying. Maybe we can talk about this another time and try again to solve the problem?”• Or sometimes, if everyone doesn’t know about the four steps to problem
solving, it can turn into a bigger argument. Be patient and open-minded to different perspectives and strategies. Here are the four steps in the problem-solving model
and a visual picture to help you remember.
After you review the handout together, you can use these two activities to help your students apply the four-step model to real-life scenarios they
might encounter.
Activity 1: Problem-Solving Application
Objective: Using the handout as a guide, apply the Four-Step Problem-Solving model to three example situations.
Sample script to introduce the activity: Now that we’ve talked about the steps, let’s apply some example situations to these steps. I’ll read the first situation and
we will discuss the steps together as a class. We’ll write our thoughts in the middle column under Situation 1. For Situation 2, you’ll partner with the person next to
you [or get into small groups], go through the problem-solving model, and write down your ideas in the Situation 2 column.
Situation 1
Problem: Your classmate wants to use the only class computer at the same time you do.
Twist: You know that your classmate does not have a computer at home, but you do.
Situation 2
Problem: Your classmate has broken your trust by telling a secret of yours.
Twist: Now would it make a difference if you had already shared it with a few other people?
Situation 3
Problem: You overheard that your friend said something mean about you that isn’t true and your feelings are hurt.
Twist: Your friend will be attending your birthday party this weekend and you know that she has something special planned for you.
Have students brainstorm solutions to these sample scenarios, and then discuss the proposed solutions as a class.
Activity 2: Discuss Examples and Nonexamples of Problem Solving
Objective: As a class, talk about productive and nonproductive ways in which a conflict might be approached.
Sample script to introduce the activity: Let’s discuss examples of problem-solving strategies–what to do and what not to do. First, let’s consider a situation where
two kids are fighting over a laptop. I will read aloud some strategies and you tell me if they are examples (healthy) or nonexamples (unhealthy). Examples are the
strategies we want to do. Nonexamples are what we don’t want to do. Then, I’d like for you to share in small groups your own situations and strategies that you have
used in conflicts. Think about situations at school, at home, or in your community.
Review the six problem-solving scenarios listed below to facilitate this discussion. For each one, ask your students to evaluate whether the scenario
is an exampleor nonexample of a helpful way to solve a problem. If there are other current conflicts that are particularly relevant to your students’
experience, you can also use those as examples.
(Also, keep in mind that certain problem-solving skills may be inappropriate in some situations. For example, trying to have a discussion with a
potentially dangerous individual may not be appropriate).
EXAMPLE PROBLEM: Two students want the same laptop during science class.
Choose some of the problem-solving strategies listed below (listed as Problem-Solving Scenarios 1″“6), and prompt students with this question: “Is
this an example of problem solving or a nonexample of problem solving?”• For the items that are nonexamples of problem solving, ask students
how they would use problem-solving skills to resolve the conflict.
Problem-solving scenario 1: The students identify the problem, say what they each want to happen with the laptop, and each list and discuss a few
potential solutions. One of the solutions is to equally split the time each uses the laptop. They agree on this solution and shake hands. (This is
an exampleof a helpful way to solve a problem.)
Problem-solving scenario 2: The students argue, interrupt each other, and grab the laptop back and forth from each other, and then one student
tells the teacher. (This is a nonexample of a helpful way to solve a problem.)
Problem-solving scenario 3: The students identify the problem, say what they each want to happen with the laptop, and each list and discuss a few
potential solutions. They can’t agree on any of the solutions and so they continue to argue with each other. Eventually, they bring other students
into the situation. (This is a nonexample of a helpful way to solve a problem.)
Problem-solving scenario 4: The students identify the problem, but each student is so interested in describing what they each want to happen with
the laptop that they don’t really listen to what the other person wants. (This is a nonexample of a helpful way to solve a problem.)
Problem-solving scenario 5: The students identify the problem, say what they each want to happen with the laptop, and each list and discuss a few
potential solutions. One of the solutions is to agree to use the laptop on different days, and give one another their “word.”• The students ask each
other the next day if this plan still works for them to play. (This is an exampleof a helpful way to solve a problem.)
Problem-solving scenario 6: The teacher takes the laptop away from both students; the students give each other a dirty look, and both are angry
because now they don’t get to use the laptop. (This is a nonexample of a helpful way to solve a problem.)