Ms.

Massey, October 2014

Outfits of Words: Learning the Importance and Effects of Diction

“With Jordan’s slender golden arm resting on mine, we descended the steps and sauntered
about the garden. A tray of cocktails floated at us through the twilight, and we sat down at a
table with the two girls in yellow and three men, each one introduced to us as Mr. Mumble.”
(The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, pg. 43)

Now, think about it this way. What if the text read like this instead?

“With Jordan’s thin arm resting on mine, we walked down the steps and about the garden. A
tray of cocktails came over to us from the waiter, and we sat down at a table with the two girls in
yellow and three men, each one introduced to us as Mr. Mumble.”

There’s a big difference, right?

Please discuss the difference between these versions of the same text. How does Nick feel about
Jordan or the party in this version of the text? Or, do you feel like it’s harder for you to
understand how Nick feels in this version? If so—why?

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What words are missing from this version?

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If you had to describe the diction in this new excerpt, what words would you use?

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Finally, which version do you like better? And why?

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