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Characteristics of Effective Communication

Communicating effectively is an essential characteristic that's necessary in order to

maintain a healthy relationship. Sustaining a substantial level of steady interaction with
your partner allows you to be more equipped to meet the challenges in your relationship.
In order to be successful in communicating, you must be willing to share your emotions
and listen to the thoughts and feelings of your partner. When communication is present
on a consistent basis, you and your partner can handle conflict more effectively as it
emerges.

Honesty

Being truthful with how you feel is vital to the development and maintenance of effective
communication in your relationship. Withholding your emotions isn't constructive; the
more you repress the issues that are bothering you, the more likely you are to experience
anxiety in the relationship. Speaking directly of your concerns as soon as they surface
helps you to express your thoughts more clearly and effectively. Being honest with your
partner enables you to feel comfortable in disclosing your needs and allows him to also
feel at ease with discussing his thoughts. By maintaining a consistency in mutual honesty,
each of you is able to obtain what is of importance to you in the relationship.

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Empathy

Approaching your partner with your feelings or thoughts requires you to do so in a

manner that doesn't make her feel threatened or attacked. When you address her in an
amiable way, she is more likely to engage in the conversation in a constructive manner.
Maintain neutral ground in your approach; if you speak to her with a hostile tone, she is
more likely to respond aggressively or defensively. Emphasize the positive characteristics
of your partner; focusing on the negative traits of each other is devastating to every
aspect of the relationship, and it's extremely hurtful. Effective communication requires
that you recognize that your partner may be feeling wounded or vulnerable and it's
essential that you allow her to express these emotions without demeaning her.
Conversely, when you empathize with her, she is more likely to reveal her feelings in the
future and feel more confident in trusting the relationship. You must appreciate the value
of each other and acknowledge the significance of one another's expression of feelings.

Participation

Participating equally in constructive communication is crucial to your relationship. This

requires that each partner contribute in both the receiving and sharing of one another's
feelings. Balancing communication between partners enables each of you to maintain a
sense of individual affirmation that allows you each to feel confident in expressing your
thoughts without being criticized. Even when you don't understand the reason for the
conversation, listening to what he has to say shows that you respect what he finds to be
important. Communication is often a matter of being able to listen to your partner without
saying anything; sometimes, being able to articulate emotions to you is enough. Avoid
interrupting when he's expressing frustration or irritation; wait until the appropriate time
to respond, and if you do state your opinion, speak of how you feel---don't make
assumptions about what he's feeling.

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References
• Effective Communication and Healthy Relationships
• Couples Therapy: Ineffective Communication
• Communication & Relationships

Photo Credit
happy couple image by Mat Hayward from Fotolia.com

Anna-Sofie Hickson

Article reviewed by Greg Duran

Last updated on: 03/23/10

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