Arranged Marriages

Outline

Thesis: We should not be living in a country where a person can not choose his/her life
partner, where one does not have the freedom of choice.

Introduction: Freedom of choice.

I. The Issue of Arranged Marriages.

A. Saudi Women and their Life Issues.
B. Marriages in Saudi Arabia.

II. Examples of Arranged Marriages in the Arab World.

A. What Happened to Jack and Xena.
B. An Arranged Marriage in Lebanon.
C. Why Arranged Marriages are not the Right Choice.
D. Forced Arranged Marriages.

III. Consequences of Arranged Marriages.

A. Divorces among Arranged Marriages Couples.
B. Unhappiness of Arranged Marriages Couples.
C. Secret Marriages.

IV. Solutions to the Problem of Arranged Marriages

Conclusion:Free Society.

Arranged Marriages

Khalil Gibran once wrote the following about Freedom: "You can only be free when
even the desire of seeking freedom becomes a harness to you, and when you cease to
speak of freedom as a goal and a fulfilment. You shall be free indeed when your days are
not without a care nor your nights without a want and a grief, but rather when these
things girdle your life and yet you rise above them naked and unbound. And how shall
you rise beyond your days and nights unless you break the chains which you at the dawn
of your understanding have fastened around your noon hour?
In truth that which you call freedom is the strongest of these chains, though its links
glitter in the sun and dazzle your eyes."
Freedom is not only about the individual's freedom but about freedom of choice as well.
Freedom of choosing one's own life partner, no matter how much it might seem
unbelievable is unfortunately not practiced by all countries yet.
Arranged marriages are still too common in the Middle East. They still exist in a time
where modernization has taken over in...

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Arranged Marriages

Arranged Marriages

A1. In the video the narrator is trying to convince the viewers that arranged marriages are
more common in certain traditions than in western culture. The narrator also gives facts
and supporting evidence about the success rate and advantages of arranged marriages and
how the idea of arranged marriage is not as far fetched as it seems.

A2. The most general problem with arranged marriages is that the individuals who are
arranged to be married don’t have the ability to make up their own mind. This can cause
resentment towards the parents later down the road if after being married a few years and
either spouse ends up unhappy.
When the choice is made by another of who you will marry then there will always be
fears of what will the other person be like and will we be compatible. Questions like
these are common among arranged marriages and are almost always asked by an
individual before marriage.

A3. The general problem can produce many sub problems, socially, morally and
politically.
From the political aspect, arranged marriages are highly encouraged for those in high
political positions. Because of the position, there can be many scandals and negative
publicity that could kill ones political career. Arranged marriages can often cause one to
have interference from extended family. While there are advantages to having the
extended family around, sometimes it can be a burden. Some arguments and
misunderstandings are resolved better when only the couple is involved. When in-laws
interfere and put their views to the forefront it can cause tension in the marriage.
While arrange marriages are usually successful, one problem is that love is almost always
sure to take the back seat. Most parents tell their children to decide with their head and
not with their heart and out of respect the child obeys. In this instance people usually are
convinced that you learn to like some one that like turns to respect then that respect to
love.

Arranged Marriage in Societies

In today’s society, arranged marriages amongst South Asians is not as common as it once
was. In this literature, we will explore the different aspects or arranged marriages mainly
in the South Asian culture but also in other cultures as well. This review also makes
reference to the other cultures that participate in this custom, as well as how society has
portrayed it then and now.

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The Process

As far as India is concerned, arranged marriages have been taking place since the
beginning of time. It was very simple. The man needed a wife, the young woman a
husband. Interested friends and relatives created opportunities for them to meet
(MacMillan, 1988). Back even before the 1800’s, it was highly unlikely that the women
be aloud to meet or even speak to who had been chosen for her. When one’s parents felt
that it was time for their child to be married, they would spread the word around their
village. Suitable matches would be found. By suitable, one means of the same cast,
wealth and social standing. This is extremely important because the arranged marriage
tends to be a union of two families of strong moral and cultural values it provides checks
and balances against areas that may splinter it, such as infidelity (Mathur, 2001)

In every village, there is at least one female whose profession is to do the introducing and
her whole career is finding mates for single males and females. When she has found
someone meeting the requirements of each parent, she will introduce the parents and they
will get to know each other and within a few days, after doing full blown background
checks, will make their final decision. Keep in mind that the children, who are to be
married, have no say in this and will respect their parent’s whishes and do as the parents
see fit.

However, this process has changed in our modern day, more westernized society. The
children now have a bit more leniency. They almost always are aloud to meet the person
that has been selected for them at least once. And some parents even allow them to have a
say in whether or not they will marry them. Also, some parents may even give the
children enough leniencies to date them for a while and make their final decision without
their parents even have nothing but their own opinion attached to it.

Cultures

The South Asian culture isn’t the only culture that has adopted the custom of arranged
marriages. Another famous culture that partakes in this custom is the Japanese. The
modern system of arranged marriages is somewhat similar to blind dating in the United
States. When a young woman reaches a marriageable age (now about 25 for a Japanese
woman), she and her parents compile a packet of information about her, including a
photograph of her in kimono and descriptions of her family background, education,
hobbies, accomplishments, and interests. Her parents then inquire among their friends
and acquaintances to see if anyone knows a man who would be a suitable husband for
her. The person who does becomes the go-between, showing the packet to the potential
bridegroom and, if both parties are interested, arranged a meeting between them (Video
Letter from Japan: My Family, 1988).

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Society Then And Now

As mentioned before, arranged marriages were and still are a big part of the Asian
culture. The people who were brought up in that society try to impress it upon their
children to keep the custom/tradition going. However, many people who are ready to be
married are forced into these situations against their own will. Mainly the children that
will disagree with these customs are ones that have been more influenced by the more
westernized countries. However, children in India seem to have adapted to these customs
and many do not argue with their parents, but happily accept who has been chosen for
them. They feel that their parents know best, “that is why I must have my parents choose
a boy for me. My marriage is too important to be arranged by such an inexperienced
person as myself.”

Success Rates

Although many people remain sceptical to these customs, it has an extremely high
success rate. There are many couple’s that didn’t meet until the day of the wedding and
have had a very loving and fulfilling marriage for ever 25 years. Many of the religions
that are associated with cultures believe that God brings these 2 people together therefore
the marriage can not and will not fail.

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