Emotional Intelligence Project 2001

Page 1 of 30 Emotional Intelligence
Shakeel Ahmad
shakeeluae@gmail.com
Organizational Behaviour-1
A project for the Executive Program in Management, 2001, XLRI, Dubai Campus
CONTENT
Foreword
Introduction
Historical Background?
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Major Areas Of Emotional Intelligence?
Some Definitions
Importance of Emotional Intelligence
Introduction to EQ
Why not IQ?
EQ v/s IQ
Value of EI at Work
Assessment of EI AND Competence
How to raise EQ levels
Components of High EQ
Emotional Literacy
Validation
Invalidation
Emotional Intelligence and Management
Some Applications in organizations
Real Life Application of EI Training in Organizations
Conclusion
References
Foreword:
Who does not have feelings? Who is without emotions? Do we not feel sometimes confident,
sometimes nervous? Sometimes happy and some other times sad? How do we manage to hide our
sadness or happiness when we know the others might not like it? Don’t we manage them? What
makes us feel at the top of the world one moment and at the great depths of depression the other
moment? What makes us win people in a few seconds and what makes us ruin an age-old
relationship in another few seconds? What makes one individual a winner in every negotiation
and another a miserable loser all the time? What makes a leader and what a dumb follower? Are
good scientists and professors good managers and leaders also, and successful leaders good
teachers or parents? Why can’t all intelligent persons make use of their intelligence to the same
extent, i.e., have the same level of IQ, and thus be successful to the same levels? Can the most
intelligent Computer lead an organization, an institution, or a country?
Emotions, perhaps, is the most important characteristic that could distinguish between the most
intelligent and the most successful persons. Emotions are so important because our bodies need
to communicate with us and with others to tell us what we need. The better our communication,
the better are our feelings. Emotions also help us establish our boundaries. Additionally,
emotions have the potential to unite and connect us. Emotions serve as our inner moral and
ethical compass. Decisions affecting humans cannot be perfect by arriving at it by means of
analysis or calculations alone; emotions are essential for good decision-making.
Intelligence is just one characteristic of the human being. And just one characteristic cannot make
an individual a leader, manager, professor or scientist. Because we are humans and humans are
not without emotions, being intelligent is not enough for us to be able to succeed or lead. Because
we have to deal with humans in all our roles, we must also learn to manage our emotions and
guide them to a positive use. Unguided emotions are most likely to fail us whereas when
channelised prudently and intelligently, the same emotions definitely could lead us to success
every time.
Like all the ingredients of a product, just by virtue of being put together in a place, cannot make a
product, we can realize that all the characteristics already present within us cannot make us
become what we wish to become. Through the science of Emotional Intelligence, an attempt is
being made to make best use of the two most significant human characteristics, Emotions and
Intelligence. In the words of Cary Cherniss of Rutgers University, “A person’s ability to
perceive, identify, and manage emotion provides the basis for the kinds of social and emotional
competencies that are important for success in almost any job. Furthermore, as the pace of
change increases and the world of work makes ever greater demands on a person’s cognitive,
emotional, and physical resources, this particular set of abilities will become increasingly
important. It has become more important to use emotional intelligence to improve both
productivity and psychological well-being in the workplace of tomorrow.”
Introduction: Go To Top
What enabled Martin Luther King Jr., PhD, to lead one of the most significant civil rights
movements in the history of the world? According to Cary Cherniss, PhD, president of Div. 27
(Society for Community Research and Action), Dr. King's outstanding ability to effect social
change had much to do with the fact that he displayed qualities of emotional intelligence--traits
that community psychologists need to foster among community activists and leaders to help bring
about social change and develop healthier communities.
Neither Emotions nor Intelligence has been new to humans or researchers of human traits et al.
Even the term Emotional Intelligence is not as new as it sounds. Psychologists and Psychiatrists,
Behavioural Scientists and the Success Preachers have all tried the same – make the humans
more emotionally intelligent – of course, without using the same term. The thought of going to a
psychiatrist would most likely make us mentally sick! Emotional Intelligence is not an attempt to
cure an emotional problem, not is it about solving our mental or psychological problems, it is an
attempt towards making the best possible use of the capabilities that all of us already have (with
the assumption that we are not born with any deficiency!). Researchers have been making
consistent attempts towards developing models, which could be used to train people interested in
mastering the art and science of success – in jobs, in businesses, in organizations, in families or in
societies. But the publication of Daniel Goleman’s first book on the topic in 1995, emotional
intelligence helped speed up the whole process and since then the popularity graph of anything to
do with it has been on the rise. For instance, when the Harvard Business Review published an
article on the topic two years ago, it attracted a higher percentage of readers than any other article
published in that periodical in the last 40 years. When the CEO of Johnson & Johnson read that
article, he was so impressed that he had copies sent out to the 400 top executives in the company
worldwide. Emotional intelligence, strictly speaking, was not Mr. Goleman's idea in the first
place. The term, which is associated with the skills of empathy, self-awareness and sociability,
was defined in the late 1980s by University of New Hampshire psychologist John Mayer and
Yale's Peter Salovey. And it was an Israeli psychologist, Reuen Baron, who coined the term
"Emotional Quotient-EQ" back in 1985.
The concept appeals to every one who has any intention to succeed in life. We will try to reason
in line with Daniel Goleman why Emotional Intelligence must be dealt with as a separate training
need, and more significantly, why it should be paid more attention than other tested concepts
used to ensure success. So in our presentation on Emotional Intelligence, we would like to start
with the history of the concept as an area of research and describe how it has come to be defined
and measured. We also will refer to some of the research linking emotional intelligence with
important work-related outcomes such as individual performance and organizational productivity.
Even though the term has been misused and abused by many populists, we believe it rests on a
firm scientific foundation.
It is very important to understand that Emotional Intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it
is not the triumph of head over heart - it is the most efficient UNION of both. Think about the
definition of emotion, intelligence, and especially, of the three parts of our mind - affect/emotion,
cognition/thinking, volition/motivation. Emotional Intelligence combines affect with cognition,
emotion with intelligence.
Being successful in our work and throughout our personal life has a lot more to do with how well
we work with people than how technically skilled we are. Technical expertise might get us in the
door and place us in the position that is best for us, but it doesn’t necessarily get us more money,
promotions, or notoriety (sorry, reputation!). But, increasing our emotional intelligence will.
Emotional Intelligence has been identified as the missing link in personal, career, and
organizational success. People who possess high levels of emotional intelligence are better at
leading and serving others, earn higher wages, move further up the organizational hierarchy, are
more successful in reaching their goals, and in maintaining meaningful relationships. Contrary to
the belief that IQ is something we are born with, emotional intelligence can be developed!
Leadership requires a personal relationship between the leader and their followers. Consequently,
the attributes that make an effective leader are crucial. For example, visioning ability, or future
time perspective is a vital quality in a leader (Thomas & Greenburger, 1995). Combining
leadership traits and the situations encountered is the basis of the contingency theories of
leadership. The Path-Goal theory incorporates the tangible functions of a leader and their
interaction with other group members (House & Mitchell, 1974). The underlying assumptions of
the Path-Goal theory state that the leader must assess the situation, identify which behaviors are
needed, and change his/her behaviors to match the situation. The Path-Goal theory implies that
the leader can only be effective, if they accurately assess the needs of their individual group
members, and act accordingly. The emotional information required for effective leadership,
based on this theory, is supported by the theory of emotional intelligence. Salovey and Mayer
(1990) identified the three key mental process underlying emotional intelligence: (1) accurately
assessing emotion in the self and others; (2) regulating emotions in the self and others; and (3)
using emotions to facilitate achievement of goals.
Historical Roots of the Topic Go To Top
When psychologists began to write and think about intelligence, they focused on cognitive
aspects, such as memory and problem solving. However, there were researchers who recognized
early on that the non-cognitive aspects were also important. For instance, David Wechsler
defined intelligence as “the aggregate or global capacity of the individual to act purposefully, to
think rationally, and to deal effectively with his environment”. As early as 1940 he referred to
“non-intellective” as well as “intellective” elements, by which he meant affective, personal, and
social factors. Furthermore, as early as 1943 Wechsler was proposing that the non-intellective
abilities are essential for predicting one’s ability to succeed in life.
Wechsler was not the only researcher who saw non-cognitive aspects of intelligence to be
important for adaptation and success. Robert Thorndike, to take another example, wrote about
“social intelligence” in the late thirties. Unfortunately, the work of these early pioneers was
largely forgotten or overlooked until 1983 when Howard Gardner began to write about “multiple
intelligence.” Gardner proposed that “intrapersonal” and “interpersonal” intelligences are as
important as the type of intelligence typically measured by IQ and related tests.
In the 1940s, under the direction of Hemphill, the Ohio State Leadership Studies suggested that
“consideration” is an important aspect of effective leadership. More specifically, this research
suggested that leaders who are able to establish “mutual trust, respect, and a certain warmth and
rapport” with members of their group will be more effective (Fleishman & Harris). At about the
same time, the Office of Strategic Services developed a process of assessment based on the
earlier work of Murray that included the evaluation of non-cognitive, as well as cognitive,
abilities. This process evolved into the “assessment center,” which was first used in the private
sector at AT&T in 1956 Bray. Many of the dimensions measured in assessment centers then and
now involve social and emotional competencies such as communication, sensitivity, initiative,
and interpersonal skills (Gowing).
We could cite other strands of research and theory, but we think it is clear that by the early 1990s,
there was a long tradition of research on the role of non-cognitive factors in helping people to
succeed in both life and the workplace. The current work on emotional intelligence builds on this
foundation.
When Salovey and Mayer coined the term emotional intelligence in 1990, they were aware of the
previous work on non-cognitive aspects of intelligence. They described emotional intelligence as
“a form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings
and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking
and action.” In another place, they describe it as “Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive
emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and
emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and
intellectual growth” -Mayer & Salovey, 1997. Salovey and Mayer also initiated a research
program intended to develop valid measures of emotional intelligence and to explore its
significance. For instance, they found in one study that when a group of people saw an upsetting
film, those who scored high on emotional clarity (which is the ability to identify and give a name
to a mood that is being experienced) recovered more quickly (Salovey, Mayer, Goldman, Turvey,
& Palfai). In another study, individuals who scored higher in the ability to perceive accurately,
understand, and appraise others’ emotions were better able to respond flexibly to changes in their
social environments and build supportive social networks (Salovey, Bedell, Detweiler, & Mayer).
In the early 1990’s Daniel Goleman became aware of Salovey and Mayer’s work, and this
eventually led to his book, Emotional Intelligence. Goleman was a science writer for the New
York Times, whose beat was brain and behavior research. He had been trained as a psychologist
at Harvard where he worked with David McClelland, among others. McClelland was among a
growing group of researchers who were becoming concerned with how little traditional tests of
cognitive intelligence told us about what it takes to be successful in life.
Definitions of Emotional Intelligence: Go To Top

What is Emotional Intelligence?
Professor Howard Gardner of Harvard Graduate School of Education’s theory of Multiple
Intelligences includes among the seven types of intelligence the following two that together make
up what we now call Emotional Intelligence:
Intrapersonal - this is the capacity to manage ourselves through knowing and understanding our
feelings, wishes, needs, wants and purpose. With it we can motivate ourselves, delay our
impulses if that will benefit us and keep persisting even when it's a hard patch. It is difficult to
think of a field where this intelligence isn't an asset.
Intrapersonal - with this intelligence we have the ability to be sensitive to other people's
emotions and psychological states. It also enables us to choose appropriate responses. We can
'read' the subtle undercurrents in relationships and be empathic and clear communicators.
Examples of this are top sales people, managers, counsellors and teachers.
The simplest possible way Emotional Intelligence could be described is: “Knowing how you and
others feel and what to do about it.” Or, “Emotional Intelligence is the capacity to create positive
outcomes in our relationships with others and with ourselves.”
Goleman: “The capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating
ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.”
Mayor and Cobb, 2000: “The ability to process emotional information, particularly as it involves
the perception, assimilation, understanding, and management of emotion."
Patricia J . Addesso: “As organizations have shifted to a more team-based workplace, you’re
asking employees for commitment and passion – to bring both their brains and hearts to the job.
Along with this, you have to expect, people will bring their emotions to work, too. “
“You cannot ignore emotions – not if you want to get passion from workers.”
Robert Reiher: ”Emotional Intelligence is to learning to reflect. You won’t have high EQ until
you learn to reflect on what’s going on inside yourself. And if you don’t know what’s going on
inside yourself emotionally, you cannot know going on inside others”.
Simply put, Emotional Intelligence is the ability to persist and stay motivated even when faced
with frustrating circumstances, the ability to control impulses within us and emotions within
others, and the ability to empathise. Effective leaders use these abilities to build successful
organizations.
Emotional Intelligence – Major Areas: Go To Top

In a 1997 publication Mayer and Salovey listed these branches as follows and offered a detailed
chart reflecting their thoughts. In that article they say that the branches in the chart are "arranged
from more basic psychological processes to higher, more psychologically integrated processes.
For example, the lowest level branch concerns the (relatively) simple abilities of perceiving and
expressing emotion. In contrast, the highest level branch concerns the conscious, reflective
regulation of emotion." They add that abilities that emerge relatively early in development are to
the left of a given branch; later developing abilities are to the right." And they also say that,
"people high in emotional intelligence are expected to progress more quickly through the abilities
designated and to master more of them."
The Four branches of EI:
Perception Appraisal and Expression of Emotion
• Ability to identify emotion in one's physical states, feelings, and thoughts.
• Ability to identify emotions in other people, designs, artwork, etc. through language,
sound, appearance, and behavior.
• Ability to express emotions accurately, and to express needs related to those feelings.
• Ability to discriminate between accurate and inaccurate, or honest vs. dishonest
expressions of feeling.
Emotional Facilitation of Thinking
• Emotions prioritize thinking by directing attention to important information.
• Emotions are sufficiently vivid and available that they can be generated as aids to
judgment and memory concerning feelings.
• Emotional mood swings change the individual's perspective from optimistic to
pessimistic, encouraging consideration of multiple points of view.
• Emotional states differentially encourage specific problem-solving approaches such as
when happiness facilitates inductive reasoning and creativity.
Understanding and Analyzing Emotions; Employing Emotional Knowledge
• Ability to label emotions and recognize relations among the words and the emotions
themselves, such as the relation between liking and loving.
• Ability to interpret the meanings that emotions convey regarding relationships, such as
that sadness often accompanies a loss.
• Ability to understand complex feelings: simultaneous feelings of love and hate or blends
such as awe as a combination of fear and surprise.
• Ability to recognize likely transitions among emotions, such as the transition from anger
to satisfaction or from anger to shame
Reflective Regulation of Emotion to Promote Emotional and Intellectual Growth
• Ability to stay open to feelings, both those that are pleasant and those that are unpleasant
• Ability to reflectively engage or detach from an emotion depending upon its judged
informativeness or utility
• Ability to reflectively monitor emotions in relation to oneself and others, such as
recognizing how clear, typical, influential or reasonable they are.
• Ability to manage emotion in oneself and others by moderating negative emotions and
enhancing pleasant ones, without repressing or exaggerating information they may convey.
The adaptation of the above definition:
1. Emotional identification, perception and expression
• The ability to perceive and identify emotions in faces, tone of voice, body language
• The capacity for self-awareness: being aware of your own feelings as they are occurring
• The capacity for emotional literacy. Being able to label specific feelings in yourself and
others; being able to discuss emotions and communicate clearly and directly.
2. Emotional facilitation of thought
• The ability to incorporate feelings into analysis, reasoning, problem solving and decision
making
• The potential of your feelings to guide you to what is important to think about
3. Emotional understanding
• The ability to solve emotional problems
• The ability to identify and understand the inter-relationships between emotions, thoughts
and behavior. For example, to see cause and effect relationships such as how thoughts can affect
emotions or how emotions can affect thoughts, and how your emotions can lead to the behavior
in yourself and others.
• The ability to understand the value of emotions to the survival of the species
4. Emotional management
• The ability to take responsibility for one's own emotions and happiness
• The ability to turn negative emotions into positive learning and growing opportunities
• The ability to help others identify and benefit from their emotions
Importance of Emotional Intelligence: Go To Top
• Dealing with threatening situations
• Helping others
• Conscience and Moral
• Happiness
• Mutual respect, cooperation empathy
• Responsibility
• Individuality
Emotional Quotient – EQ:
• Emotional Intelligence refers to a persons innate potential. This innate potential can be
either developed or damaged with life experiences, particularly by emotional lessons taught by
parents, teachers, caregivers & family during childhood & adolescence.
• The impact of these lessons results in what refer to as one’s level of EQ.
• Thus, EQ represents a relative measure of a person’s healthy or unhealthy development of
his innate emotional intelligence.
Why not IQ?

• Academic Intelligence has nothing to do with emotional life. The brightest among us can
founder on the shoals of unbridled passions and unruly impulses; people with high IQ s can be
stunningly poor pilots of their private lives.
• One of psychology’s open secrets is the relative inability of grades, IQ or SAT/ GMAT/
CAT scores, despite their popular mystique, to predict unerringly who will succeed in life. Sure,
there is a relationship between IQ and life circumstances for large groups as a whole: many
people with very low IQ s end up in very menial jobs, and people with high IQ s tend to become
well – paid- but by no means always.
• It is relevant to recall Goleman’s words, here: "For better or for worse, intelligence can
come to nothing when the emotions hold sway." What will be your IQ when you are emotionally
charged?
Few Case Studies, EQ v/s IQ: Go To Top

IQ by itself is not a very good predictor of job performance. Hunter and Hunter (1984) estimated
that at best IQ accounts for about 25 percent of the variance. Sternberg(1996) has pointed out
that studies vary and that 10 percent may be a more realistic estimate. In some studies, IQ
accounts for as little as 4 percent of the variance.
An example of this research on the limits of IQ as a predictor is the Sommerville study, a 40-year
longitudinal investigation of 450 boys who grew up in Sommerville, Massachusetts. Two-thirds
of the boys were from welfare families, and one-third had IQ’s below 90. However, IQ had little
relation to how well they did at work or in the rest of their lives. What made the biggest
difference was childhood abilities such as being able to handle frustration, control emotions, and
get along with other people (Snarey & Vaillant, 1985).
Another good example is a study of 80 Ph.D.’s in science who underwent a battery of personality
tests, IQ tests, and interviews in the 1950s when they were graduate students at Berkeley. Forty
years later, when they were in their early seventies, they were tracked down and estimates were
made of their success based on resumes, evaluations by experts in their own fields, and sources
like American Men and Women of Science. It turned out that social and emotional abilities were
four times more important than IQ in determining professional success and prestige (Feist &
Barron, 1996).
If you’re a scientist, you probably needed an IQ of 120 or so simply to get a doctorate and a job.
But then it is more important to be able to persist in the face of difficulty and to get along well
with colleagues and subordinates than it is to have an extra 10 or 15 points of IQ. The same is
true in many other occupations.
We also should keep in mind that cognitive and non-cognitive abilities are very much related. In
fact, there is research suggesting that emotional and social skills actually help improve cognitive
functioning. For instance, in the famous “marshmallow studies” at Stanford University, four year
olds were asked to stay in a room alone with a marshmallow and wait for a researcher to return.
They were told that if they could wait until the researcher came back before eating the
marshmallow, they could have two. Ten years later the researchers tracked down the kids who
participated in the study. They found that the kids who were able to resist temptation had a total
SAT score that was 210 points higher than those kids who were unable to wait (Shoda, Mischel,
& Peake, 1990).
The Value of Emotional Intelligence at Work: Go To Top
Martin Seligman has developed a construct that he calls “learned optimism”( Schulman, 1995). It
refers to the causal attributions people make when confronted with failure or setbacks. Optimists
tend to make specific, temporary, external causal attributions while pessimists make global,
permanent, internal attributions. In research at Met Life, Seligman and his colleagues found that
new salesmen who were optimists sold 37 percent more insurance in their first two years than did
pessimists. When the company hired a special group of individuals who scored high on optimism
but failed the normal screening, they outsold the pessimists by 21 percent in their first year and
57 percent in the second. They even outsold the average agent by 27 percent (Schulman, 1995)
In another study of learned optimism, Seligman tested 500 members of the freshman class at the
University of Pennsylvania. He found that their scores on a test of optimism were a better
predictor of actual grades during the freshman year than SAT scores or high school grades
(Schulman, 1995).
The ability to manage feelings and handle stress is another aspect of emotional intelligence that
has been found to be important for success. A study of store managers in a retail chain found that
the ability to handle stress predicted net profits, sales per square foot, sales per employee, and per
dollar of inventory investment (Lusch & Serpkenci, 1990).
Emotional intelligence has as much to do with knowing when and how to express emotion as it
does with controlling it. For instance, consider an experiment that was done at Yale University
by Sigdal Barsade. He had a group of volunteers play the role of managers who come together in
a group to allocate bonuses to their subordinates. A trained actor was planted among them. The
actor always spoke first. In some groups the actor projected cheerful enthusiasm, in others
relaxed warmth, in others depressed sluggishness, and in still others hostile irritability. The
results indicated that the actor was able to infect the group with his emotion, and good feelings
led to improved cooperation, fairness, and overall group performance. In fact, objective
measures indicated that the cheerful groups were better able to distribute the money fairly and in
a way that helped the organization. Similar findings come from the field. Bachman(1988) found
that the most effective leaders in the US Navy were warmer, more outgoing, emotionally
expressive, dramatic, and sociable.
One more example. Empathy is a particularly important aspect of emotional intelligence, and
researchers have known for years that it contributes to occupational success. Rosenthal and his
colleagues at Harvard discovered over two decades ago that people who were best at identifying
others’ emotions were more successful in their work as well as in their social lives. More
recently, a survey of retail sales buyers found that apparel sales reps were valued primarily for
their empathy. The buyers reported that they wanted reps who could listen well and really
understand what they wanted and what their concerns were (Pilling & Eroglu).
Thus far we have seen that “emotional intelligence” is important for success in work and in life.
However, this notion actually is somewhat simplistic and misleading. Both Goleman and Mayer,
Salovey, & Caruso have argued that by itself emotional intelligence probably is not a strong
predictor of job performance. Rather, it provides the bedrock for competencies that are.
Goleman has tried to represent this idea by making a distinction between emotional intelligence
and emotional competence. Emotional competence refers to the personal and social skills that
lead to superior performance in the world of work. “The emotional competencies are linked to
and based on emotional intelligence. A certain level of emotional intelligence is necessary to
learn the emotional competencies (Gowing).” For instance, the ability to recognize accurately
what another person is feeling enables one to develop a specific competency such as Influence.
Similarly, people who are better able to regulate their emotions will find it easier to develop a
competency such as Initiative or Achievement drive. Ultimately it is these social and emotional
competencies that we need to identify and measure if we want to be able to predict performance.
The Assessment of Emotional Intelligence and Competence: Go To Top
Assuming that emotional intelligence is important, the question of assessment and measurement
becomes particularly pressing. What does the research suggest about the measurement of
emotional intelligence and competence? In a paper published in 1998, Davies, Stankov, &
Roberts concluded that there was nothing empirically new in the idea of emotional intelligence.
This conclusion was based solely on a review of existing measures purporting to measure
emotional intelligence at the point in time when they wrote that paper. However, most of those
measures were new, and there was not yet much known about their psychometric properties.
Research now is emerging that suggests emotional intelligence, and particularly the new
measures that have been developed to assess it, is in fact a distinct entity. However, there still is
not much research on the predictive validity of such measures, and this is a serious lack. Let me
briefly summarize what we really know about the most popular ones.
The oldest instrument is Bar-On’s EQ-I , which has been around for over a decade. This
self-report instrument originally evolved not out of an occupational context but rather a clinical
one. It was designed to assess those personal qualities that enabled some people to possess better
“emotional well-being” than others. The EQ-I has been used to assess thousands of individuals,
and we know quite a bit about its reliability and its convergent and discriminant validity
(Gowing). However, in one study the EQ-I was predictive of success for U.S. Air Force
recruiters. In fact, by using the test to select recruiters, the Air Force saved nearly 3 million
dollars annually (Bar-On). Also, there were no significant differences based on ethnic or racial
group.
A second instrument is the Multifactor Emotional Intelligence (MEI) Scale (Mayer,
Caruso, & Salovey). The MEIS is a test of ability rather than a self-report measure. The test-
taker performs a series of tasks that are designed to assess the person’s ability to perceive,
identify, understand, and work with emotion. There is some evidence of construct validity,
convergent validity, and discriminant validity, but none for predictive validity (Gowing).
A third instrument is the Emotional Competence Inventory. The ECI is a 360-degree
instrument. People who know the individual rate him or her on 20 competencies that Goleman’s
research suggests are linked to emotional intelligence (Goleman, 1998). Although the ECI is in
its early stages of development, about 40 percent of the items come from an older instrument, the
Self-Assessment Questionnaire, that was developed by Boyatzis (Boyatzis 1994). These earlier
items had been “validated against performance in hundreds of competency studies of managers,
executives, and leaders in North America,” Italy, and Brazil (Boyatzis, Goleman, & Rhee).
However, there currently is no research supporting the predictive validity of the ECI.
Another measure that has been promoted commercially is the EQ Map (Orioli, Jones, &
Trocki). Although there is some evidence for convergent and divergent validity, the data have
been reported in a rather ambiguous fashion.
One other measure deserves mention, even though it is less well known than the others.
Schutte, Malouff, Hall, Haggerty, Cooper, Golden, & Dornheim have developed a 33-item self-
report measure based on Salovey and Mayer’s (1990) early work. There is evidence for
convergent and divergent validity. Emotional intelligence scores on this measure were positively
associated with first-year college grades and supervisor ratings of student counselors working at
various mental health agencies. Also, scores were higher for therapists than for therapy clients or
prisoners (Malouff & Schutte), (Salovey, Woolery, & Mayer).
Finally, it might be helpful to keep in mind that emotional intelligence comprises a large
set of abilities that have been studied by psychologists for many years. Thus, another way to
measure emotional intelligence or competence is through tests of specific abilities. Some of these
tests seem rather strong. To name just one example, there is Seligman’s SASQ, which was
designed to measure learned optimism and which has been impressive in its ability to identify
high performing students, salespeople, and athletes, to name just a few (Schulman, 1995).
What Can I Do To Raise My EQ: Go To Top

The first step is to start identifying your own emotions. Use my feeling word list to help you.
Then take responsibility for them. This is much harder. Then learn what compassion and empathy
is and try to practice it daily. This is easier if you have done the first two steps, probably
impossible if you haven't. Also, read everything I have written about emotions. Attend support
groups. Find a safe place, even if it just your journal, to express your true feelings. Read
emotional literature, watch emotional movies. Label the feelings being acted out. Let yourself
feel your emotions. Avoid people who invalidate you.
Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Enlightenment, and Business
Business has become, in this last half-century, the most powerful institution on the planet.
The dominant institution in any society needs to take responsibility for the whole. "
—Futurist Willis Harman (1918-1997)
Quick Steps to Raising EQ at Work:
If you want to raise the EQ in your organization, start asking people how they feel. Insist on
getting feelings as the response, not thoughts disguised as feelings (Examples of thoughts in
disguise: I feel like..., I feel that..., I feel as if...)
Here are some steps to follow:
Step 1
Start with these feelings. Ask them specifically, on a scale of 0-10 how much they feel:
Respected
Appreciated
Supported
Then wherever the number is less than 10, ask what it would take to raise the numbers. Then do
it.
Next, ask about how much they feel
Criticized
Controlled
Ask what it would take to lower the numbers. Then take action.
Step 2
Start expressing your own feelings. Begin sentences with:
I am afraid....
I feel confused about...
I appreciate...
I feel concerned about
Step 3
After expressing your feelings, let your employees figure out what to do. Don't tell them. Don't
underestimate their intelligence and rob them of a chance to feel good about themselves.
Step 4
Start thinking about the impact your words have on their feelings. Remember we all do our best
work when we feel good about ourselves.
A Few Principles:
• All humans have basic emotional needs
• Each of us has similar, but different emotional needs
• Emotional needs vary more in degree than in type
• Emotional needs vary more than physical needs
• Emotional needs are more basic and more important than "rights"
• Negative feelings are indications of our unmet emotional needs (UEN's)
• Feelings are real and are not debatable.
• Invalidation destroys self-esteem
• High self-esteem is needed for productivity, job satisfaction, and customer service
• Group harmony requires both mutual need satisfaction and mutual respect of feelings.
What doesn't feel good to us normally doesn't feel good to others. But to
understand the importance of this, we must first be in touch with our own feelings.
Components of High EQ: Go To Top

• Self-awareness. Knowing how you feel in "real time"
• Emotional literacy. Being able to label emotions precisely. Being able to talk about
feelings with others.
• Empathy and compassion. The ability to feel and understand the emotions of others.
• Balance. Being able to make decisions using a healthy balance of emotion and reason.
• Responsibility. Taking primary responsibility for your own emotions and happiness. Not
saying that others "made" you feel the way you feel.
Primary and Secondary Emotions
Primary emotions identify our unmet emotional needs (UEN's); secondary emotions are not so
clear. For example, if I say I feel ignored, I need to feel acknowledged. But if I say I feel angry, it
is not clear what emotional specific need is unmet.
Emotional Literacy: Go To Top
The purpose for developing our emotional literacy is to precisely identify and communicate our
feelings. When we do this we are helping nature fulfill its design for our feelings. Thankfully, our
ancestors have provided us with a plentiful vocabulary with which to describe and identify our
emotions. We have found, though, that most of us are never taught to make anywhere near full
use of this rich vocabulary. We believe one of the first and most basic steps to raising our EQ is
to identify our feelings by name.
This is in line with the Mayer Salovey model of emotional intelligence. Though they do not seem
to use the term emotional literacy, they do say the first branch of emotional intelligence is "the
capacity to perceive and to express feelings. Emotional intelligence cannot begin without the first
branch...". They have also written that the "ability to label emotions" is part of the third branch of
their model (Emotional understanding).
A good place to start is with simple, three word sentences such as these:
I feel sad. I feel motivated. I feel offended. I feel appreciated. I feel hurt. I feel disrespected.
Examples of Emotional Literacy Examples of What is NOT Emotional Literacy
I feel....
I feel like ....
criticized
I feel that...
unimportant
I feel like you ....(This is a “you message” in
disrespected
disguise)
bored
Here, are a few basic feeling words.
Positive Negative
Comfortable Uncomfortable
Accepted Rejected
Acknowledged Ignored
Appreciated Unappreciated
Loved Resentful, Bitter
Lovable Unloved, Hated

Desirable Unlovable, Undesirable
Happy Angry, Sad, Hurt
Aware Unaware, Confused
Satisfied Unsatisfied, Frustrated
Supported Unsupported, Squelched, Thwarted, Obstructed
Encouraged Discouraged
Optimistic Pessimistic, Hopeless
Respected Disrespected, Insulted, Mocked
Safe, Secure Afraid, Insecure
Peaceful, Relaxed Tense, Frustrated
Motivated Bored, Lethargic, Unmotivated
Focused Lost
Free Trapped, Controlled, Forced, Obligated
Independent Dependent, Needy
Confident Nervous, Worried, Scared
Competent, Capable Incompetent, Inadequate, Dumb, Stupid
Proud Guilty, Embarrassed, Ashamed
Worthy, Deserving Unworthy, Undeserving, Inadequate
Excited, Energetic Depressed, Numb, Frozen
Fulfilled Empty, Needy
Validated Invalidated
Connected Disconnected, Isolated, Lonely
Feeling words not only express a feeling, but they also express the intensity of the feeling. By
expressing intensity, they communicate the degree to which our needs are being met and our
values and beliefs are being upheld. Accurately capturing the intensity of an emotion is critical to
judging the message our feelings are sending. If we either exaggerate or minimize the feeling, we
are distorting reality and undermining the effectiveness of our communication. There are several
common ways to verbally express the intensity of a feeling, as shown below:
1. Weighting the feeling with a modifier.
I feel a little hurt. I feel extremely hurt.
2. Choosing a specific word on the continuum of that emotion.
I feel: disturbed... angry ... incensed.
3. Making use of the familiar 0 to 10 scale.
If I feel just a little bit hurt and I expect it to pass quickly, I might give it just a 1 or a 2 or even
some fraction of 1.Thus I might tell a friend: I feel hurt at about the 2 level on a scale of 0-10.
Of the three methods, this is the one we have found most effective way of communicating my
feelings, assuming the other person is really interested in my feelings.
Miscommunicating
Often, it is socially unacceptable to directly express certain emotions. We are too afraid of
offending others, too afraid of appearing unhappy or unhealthy, and too afraid of social
disapproval. Sadly, we live in a world where appearances matter more than reality. This seems to
be especially true in the upper classes of society where conformity and etiquette are so important.
So instead of truthfully expressing our feelings clearly and directly, we express the same
emotions indirectly, either through our actions or our body language. Sometimes we actually
outright lie about our feelings. When we start to hide our feelings, lie about them, or tell people
only what we think they want to hear, we impede communication, distort reality, fight
evolutionary intelligence and dishonor nature.
Let's look at some examples of how we corrupt the language of feelings.
Masking Our Real Feelings - There are many ways we mask our real feelings. Sometimes we just
plain lie about them, for example when someone says she is fine, though she is obviously is
irritated, worried, or stressed. Sometimes we intentionally or unintentionally substitute one
feeling for another. For example, if we say, "I hope it doesn't rain," we might actually be feeling
afraid that it will!
Inconsistency - Often, our tone of voice or our body language contradicts the words we are
saying. None of us can totally hide our true feelings, but many of us do try to disguise our voices
to go along with the act. People who are especially superficial even adopt the cosmetic voices
found on television in order to further conform to societal expectations, and further mask their
true feelings.
Overuse - One of the ways we corrupt language is to over-use a word. Consider the word "love."
We love corn on the cob, root beer, apple pie, and our mothers. Doesn't it seem there should be a
different word for the way we feel about our parents as opposed to food?
Hate is another word, which is tremendously overused. If someone hates traffic, hates spinach,
and hates lawyers, how can they express their feelings about child abuse?
Exaggeration - When we exaggerate our feelings we are lying in order to get attention. People
who need to exaggerate have had their feelings neglected for so long, they have resorted to
dramatization to be noticed and cared about. Unfortunately, when they send out false signals,
they alienate people and risk becoming like the boy who cried wolf. As the story goes, because he
sent out too many false alarms, he was ignored when he truly needed help.
Consider these exclamations, none of which are typically true in a literal sense:
I feel mortified. I feel devastated. I feel crushed. I feel decimated. I felt run over by a truck.
Minimization - Many people minimize their feelings, particularly when they are upset, worried or
depressed. They use expressions such as:
I'm fine. I'll be all right. I'm okay, don't worry about me. There is nothing wrong. I said I was
fine.
Such people typically are either too proud, too stubborn, too scared or feel too unworthy to share
their feelings. They desperately need to be connected with others, but they will not allow others
to get close to them. They effectively push people away by withholding their true feelings.
Indirect Communication:
Because we are not skilled at directly expressing our feelings, we often use indirect
communication of our emotions such as by using examples, figures of speech, and non-verbal
communication. Let us look at a few of these forms of indirect communication.
I Feel Like ....
Using sentences that begin with "I feel like..." may be the most common form of communicating
our feelings. The literal result is that we often feel like labels, thoughts, and behaviors, as we can
see below:
I feel like (a label) - In the examples below we are labeling ourselves, and not clearly and directly
expressing our feelings.
I feel like: ... an idiot ... a baby ... a failure
We typically use lots of expressions, which put ourselves down. These negative labels certainly
don't help us feel any better about ourselves. In fact, by mentally branding us, they make it more
likely we will repeat the exact kinds of actions, which caused our feelings.
I feel like (a thought) - In these examples we are actually conveying more of a thought than a
feeling.
I feel like you are crazy. I feel like it was wrong. I feel like he is going to win.
I recall a conversation where I asked someone how she felt about something and she said, "I feel
like you shouldn't have done that." At another point when I asked about her feelings, she said, "I
don't want to get into all of that." Such a lack of emotional literacy and emotional honesty makes
it difficult to have a relationship, even a friendship or a working relationship.
I feel like (a behavior) - Here, we are expressing our feelings in the form of a behavior. Again,
these are unclear and indirect. They may be graphic and entertaining, but they are usually
exaggerations and distortions which don't help us focus on our true feelings.
I feel like: ... strangling him ... shooting him ... wringing his neck ... telling her off ... teaching
him a lesson ... filing for divorce ... dumping him ... quitting ... giving up ... jumping off of a cliff
In other words, people who use such expressions feel like a behavior, an action, an act. Thus,
they are not in touch with their feelings. They may be acting out their lives as they think others
would rather than acting as unique individuals. Or they simply imagine themselves taking action
rather than actually using their emotions to motivate them to take appropriate action.
Non-verbal Communication
Studies show that up to 90 percent of our communication is non-verbal. When we communicate
non-verbally our bodies are literally expressing themselves. When Shakespeare said the eyes are
the windows to the soul he was implying the eyes are the best non-verbal indicator of our
emotional and intellectual state of mind.
For example, we think of those who will not look us in the eyes as untrustworthy, dishonest,
afraid or insecure. We think of those who have alert, expressive eyes as intelligent, energetic, and
emotional. Our eyes have the power to judge, to attract, and to frighten. Through our eyes we can
show: interest, boredom, disbelief, surprise, terror, disgust, approval, and disapproval. Many
parents can bring their children to tears, for example, without saying a word.
Our faces often express what we are not saying verbally. Our lips may tremble when we are
afraid. Our forehead wrinkles when we are concerned or confused. And when people tap their
fingers or feet they are usually feeling impatient.
Research shows that those with high EQ are better at reading these non-verbal cues. This gives
them valuable information, particularly from people who are not expressing themselves verbally,
or whose body language is inconsistent with their words.
Summary
After we learn to find the right word for our feeling and its intensity, the next step is explaining
why we feel what we feel. At this point, our analytical brain is called into action. We actually
make things much easier on others and ourselves when our language is clear, direct, and precise.
When our words and our non-verbal communication are consistent, we gain respect because we
come across as having integrity. Clear, honest communication is not only helpful in personal
relationships, but also essential to a society. We are simply all better off when we all follow the
old rule:
“Say what you mean and mean what you say.”
Validation: Go To Top
We believe one of the most important emotional skills is the skill of validation. If you want to
have better relationships with people, the skill of validation is extremely useful. By "better" here
we mean for one thing, more equal, in the sense that you are not judging the other person, or
giving advice as if you were superior in some manner.
We also mean "better" in the sense that with more validation you are going to have less debating,
less conflicts, and less disagreement. You will also find that validation opens people up and helps
them feel free to communicate with you. In fact, if there is a communication breakdown, if there
is a wall between you and someone else, it probably has been built with the bricks of
invalidation. Validation is the means of chipping away at the wall and opening the free flow of
communication.
To validate someone's feelings is first to accept someone's feelings. Next, it is to understand
them, and finally it is to nurture them.
To validate is to acknowledge and accept one's unique identity and individuality. Invalidation, on
the other hand, is to reject, ignore, or judge their feelings, and hence, their individual identity.
When we validate someone, we allow him or her to safely share his or her feelings and thoughts.
We are reassuring them that it is okay to have the feelings they have. We are demonstrating that
we will still accept them after they have shared their feelings. We let them know that we respect
their perception of things at that moment. We help them feel heard, acknowledged, understood
and accepted.
Sometimes validation entails listening, sometimes it is a nod or a sign of agreement or
understanding, sometimes it can be a hug or a gentle touch. Sometimes it means being patient
when the other person is not ready to talk.
Summary:
• Acknowledge, accept, understand and nurture feelings
• To validate someone is to accept their individuality
• Validation is one of the keys to emotional intelligence
• Validating someone allows them to accept themselves
• Self-acceptance is a key to high self-esteem
• Often, the only thing we need is validation to feel better
Invalidation: Go To Top
Invalidation is to reject, ignore, mock, tease, judge, or diminish someone's feelings. Invalidation
goes beyond mere rejection by implying not only that our feelings are disapproved of, but also
that we are fundamentally abnormal. Psychological invalidation is one of the most
counterproductive ways to try to manage emotions. It kills confidence, creativity and
individuality. Telling a person she shouldn't feel the way she does is akin to telling water it
shouldn't be wet, grass it shouldn't be green, or rocks they shouldn't be hard. Each person’s
feelings are real. Whether we like or understand someone's feelings, they are still real. Rejecting
feelings is rejecting reality; it is to fight nature and may be called a crime against nature,
"psychological murder", or "soul murder." Considering that trying to fight feelings, rather than
accept them, is trying to fight all of nature, you can see why it is so frustrating, draining and
futile.
Below are a few of the many ways we are invalidated:
• We are told we shouldn't feel the way we feel
• We are dictated not to feel the way we feel
• We are told we are too sensitive, too "dramatic"
• We are ignored
• We are judged
• We are led to believe there is something wrong with us for feeling how we feel
First accept the feelings, then address the behavior.

One the great leaders in education, Haim Ginott, said this:
Primum non nocere- First do no harm. Do not deny your teenager's perception. Do not argue
with his experience. Do not disown his feelings.
We regularly invalidate others because we ourselves were, and are often invalidated, so it has
become habitual. Below are a few of the many ways we are invalidated:
• We are told we shouldn't feel the way we feel
• We are dictated not to feel the way we feel
• We are told we are too sensitive, too "dramatic"
• We are ignored
• We are judged
• We are led to believe there is something wrong with us for feeling how we feel
You Can't Heal an Emotional Wound with Logic
People with high IQ and low EQ tend to use logic to address emotional issues. They may say,
"You are not being rational. Let's look at the facts." Businesses, for example, and "professionals"
are traditionally out of balance towards logic at the expense of emotions. This tends to alienate
people and diminish their potential.
Actually, all emotions do have a basis in reality, and feelings are facts, fleeting though they may
be. But trying to dress an emotional wound, with logic tends either to confuse, sadden or infuriate
a person. Or it may eventually isolate them from their feelings, with a resulting loss of major part
of their natural intelligence.
Remember:
You can't solve an emotional problem, or heal an emotional wound, with logic alone.
Defensiveness and Invalidation
All invalidation is a form of psychological attack. When we are attacked, our survival instinct
tells us to defend ourselves either through withdrawal or counter-attack. Repeated withdrawal,
though, tends to decrease our self-confidence and lead to a sense of powerlessness and
depression. On the other hand, going on the offensive often escalates the conflict or puts us in the
position of trying to change another person.
One sign of both high self-esteem and high EQ is the absence of either of these defensive
responses. A healthier response, one which is both informative and assertive, without being
aggressive, is to simply express your feelings clearly and concisely. For example, you might
respond, "I feel invalidated," "I feel mocked," or "I feel judged."
How the other person responds to your emotional honesty will depend upon, and be indicative of:
(a) how much they respect you
(b) how much they care about you and your feelings
(c) how insecure and defensive they are
(d) how much they are trying to change or control you
All of this is information, which will help you make decisions that are in your best interest.
Self-Injury and Invalidation

Invalidation has been suggested as one of the primary reasons people cut, burn and injure
themselves.
For example this quote is from D. Martinson:
“One factor common to most people who self-injure, whether they were abused or not, is
invalidation. They were taught at an early age that their interpretations of and feelings about the
things around them were bad and wrong. They learned that certain feelings weren't allowed. In
abusive homes, they may have been severely punished for expressing certain thoughts and
feelings.”
Martnison also writes:
“Self-injury is probably the result of many different factors. Among them: Lack of role models
and invalidation - most people who self-injure were chronically invalidated in some way as
children (many self-injurers report abuse, but almost all report chronic invalidation.”
The high EQ person will never invalidate another person's feelings, especially not the feelings of
a sensitive child.
Emotional Intelligence and Management Go To Top

We shall now discuss the application of “Emotional intelligence” at work place.
Problems Caused by Negative Feelings
• Increase in defensiveness
• Turnover
• Absenteeism
• Lost work time
• Inefficient communication
• Dishonesty, secrecy, evasiveness
• Decrease in creativity
• Fear of risk-taking, criticism, judgment and disapproval
• Inefficient problem solving
• Increased personal attacks
When We Have Negative Feelings We Are More:
• Critical
• Aggressive
• Judgmental
• Closed-minded
• Non-accepting
• Disapproving
• Impatient
• Inflexible
Common Negative Feelings Among Employees
• Disrespected • Over-controlled
• Unappreciated • Underestimated
• Unfulfilled • Powerless
• Unchallenged • Overworked
• Unmotivated • Underpaid
• Apathetic • Stressed
• Exploited • Judged
• Bored • Replaceable
• Criticized • Unimportant
• Unsupported • Afraid and Insecure
• Hindered
* Unmet Emotional Needs Cause the Majority of Problems at Work *

The emotionally intelligent manager, then, knows how to identify and manage UEN's of both the
customer and the employee.
More Desirable Feelings Which Management Can Help Create
• Respected
• Acknowledged
• Supported
• Helped
• Trusted
• Appreciated
• Important
• Special
• Irreplaceable
• Useful
• Needed
• Valued and valuable
Effects of Positive Feelings
When our emotional needs are satisfied we feel better, and when we feel better we are
more:
• Productive
• Motivated
• Adventurous
• Patient
• Complimentary
• Creative
• Cooperative
• Open-minded
• Flexible
• Understanding
• Empathetic
• Compassionate
• Accepting
A Five-Step Plan to Manage Feelings
1. Identify the primary feelings.
2. Identify the cause of the feelings.
3. Ask what would help (me/you) feel better?
4. Generate options.
5. Choose the best option.
Communicating Negative Feelings
• Express your specific feeling (Example, I am afraid that...)
• Ask for help (Can you help me understand...)
• Avoid "you messages" which put other on the defense
• Avoid judging, labeling and criticizing
Respect
• All humans need to feel respected, even the least powerful
• To show respect to someone we must respect their feelings
• Respecting feelings includes asking about feelings, validation and empathy
• Respecting someone means asking how they would feel before making decisions which
affect them
Customer Service
• Teach representatives to look for and validate feelings.
• Ask what would help the customer feel better
• Set goals for key customer feelings
• Track them and manage them
• Use a simple scale such as 0-10 for each feeling
• Avoid saying things like "It is company policy." "I am not authorized to do that." "There
is nothing I can do." "You should have gotten the person's name."
Key Feelings You Want Your Customers to Have
• Respected
• Important
• Remembered
• Acknowledged
• Satisfied
• Helped
• Understood
Performance Evaluation
• Ask subordinates and co-workers how they feel around this person
• Key feelings to track are: respected, controlled, criticized, supported, appreciated, relaxed,
judged
Preventing Sexual Harassment Problems
• Teach employees to express their feelings directly
• Teach them what invalidation is
• Teach them what it means to respect another's feelings
• Take invalidation seriously
• Arrange a facilitated conflict resolution session including both parties
Summary
• Start talking about feelings
• Start respecting them
• Start assigning value to them
• Include feelings in decision making and problem resolution
• Listen to the most sensitive people in the organization
• Strike a balance between emotion and logic
• Develop the EQ skills throughout the organization
• Prohibit invalidation
• Make your business a place of mutual respect for feelings
• Identify the key feelings important for success
• Establish feeling goals for employees and customers
• Use a simple scale such as 0-10 to track feelings
Some Applications: Go To Top

As Fabio Sala outlines, the purpose is to develop “programs that are designed to (1) educate
people about the relevance of emotional intelligence in the workplace, (2) assess their relative
strengths and weaknesses, and (3) provide a framework to develop and enhance their ability to
interact with others with greater emotional intelligence (Boyatzis, 1999).”
(1) Conflict Resolution:

Nearly all conflicts involve underlying emotional issues. The stronger the feelings, the more
difficult the resolution. To resolve conflicts, then, it is absolutely necessary to address the
feelings of all parties. Listed below is a conflict resolution model that emphasizes emotions.
First, the probability of a mutually agreeable solution is increased when:

• The parties are in direct communication
• The parties have learned the basic skills of emotional literacy, validation & EQ based
learning.
• The parties honestly communicate both thoughts and feelings
• There is a mutual respect of needs and feelings. Go To Top
• Neither party feels superior or more powerful.
• Participation is voluntary, not forced.
• The goal is a win-win outcome.
• This principle is followed:
“First seek to understand, then to be understood.”
---
The basic steps are outlined below:
A. Seek To Understand
• Validate each person's feeling.
• Confirm a willingness to solve problem.
• Seek understanding of the cause of the feeling.
• Confirm accurate understanding. Paraphrase. Identify the underlying unmet emotional
needs.
• Show empathy.
• Ask the powerful and positive question:
• What would help you feel better?
• B. Seek to be Understood:
• Share your feelings & needs
• Confirm accurate reception & understanding.
• C. Mutually generate options & resolutions
• Brainstorm solutions (while withholding evaluation/judgment).
• Discuss each party’s feelings about alternatives.
• Make selection that maximizes positive feelings and minimizes negative feelings.
(2) Customer Service: Learning how to help your customers feel heard, understood, helped,
served, respected, valued and important.
(3) High Technology Management: Helping technical experts improve their emotional & people
skills; i.e. creating a high-tech, high-touch workplace.
(4) Hiring and Placement: Selecting employees with relatively high emotional intelligence and
EQ and better placement matching.
(5) Turnover: Turnover reduction through helping employees feel appreciated, recognized,
supported, challenged, rewarded and respected.
(6) Training: Raising EQ at all levels of the business through Emotional Literacy and EQ
awareness workshops.
(7) Corporate Culture or Climate: Creating an environment where employees feel safe, trusted,
special, needed, included, important, cooperative, focussed, productive, motivated, respected
and valued.
(8) Productivity: Developing intrinsic motivation. Increasing employee commitment, cooperation
and cohesion. Reducing lost time spent on conflicts, turf-battles, defensiveness and insecurity.
(9) Goal Setting: Setting goals that include feelings. For example, stating the goal that we want
customers to feel satisfied, appreciated, etc. and setting similar goals for employees, and then
getting feedback on feelings and measuring and tracking performance.
(10) Long term reduction of health care costs: Negative emotions such as fear, worry, anxiety,
and stress have been shown to reduce the functioning of the immune system, increase blood
pressure, increase chance of heart attacks, prolong recovery times, cause migraine headaches,
and increase the risk of cancer. On the other hand, emotional support has been shown to have
tangible health benefits. In one study, for example, terminally ill cancer patients who received
one hour per week of emotional support lived twice as long as those who did not receive such
emotional support. While I am not aware of any studies, I believe it is safe to say that there
are potential savings here.
(11) Leadership: The leader with high EQ is found to be emotionally aware. This means he is
aware of his own feelings and is not limited to logic, intellect and reasons when making
decisions and managing people. He is also able to read the emotions in others. In addition:
He is emotionally literate in that he is able to concisely articulate emotions; he has a broad
vocabulary of feeling words at his quick disposal.
He is emotionally secure. In other words, he does not feel threatened by others or their
differing opinions or beliefs. Thus he does not easily become defensive or angered. Also,
he acknowledges his fears and encourages others to do likewise.
He is empathetic. He tends to accept others and show compassion, rather than to be
demanding and intolerant. He treats all feelings with respect.
He is inspiring and motivating. He is able to understand what motivates his individual
employees and he adjusts his management style to their unique values and motives.
(12) Top Management: Top management's emotional style and emotional self-management is
critical to company's EQM. When the executive values feelings, so will the managers and the
employees. Also, research confirms what common sense would suggest: Emotions are
contagious. Thus, if the executives feel optimistic, confident, creative, flexible, tolerant,
respectful, and compassionate, the employees will tend to take on these same feelings.
Research also indicates that the direction of emotional flow is from top down, as we might
expect, since anyone in power has, by default, more influence. Go To Top
A Real Life Example of EI Training:
Consider instilling emotional competence within the ranks of the U.S. Air Force! That
experience, according to Rich Handley, 43, an organizational-development specialist and chief of
human-resources development for the Air Force Recruiting Service, has been a very valuable
one. Like AmEx, the Air Force found itself stumped by a problem that seemed to defy
conventional solutions. Each year, it would hire about 400 new recruiters and charge them with
finding a fresh group of recruits. And each year, within just seven months, the Air Force would
dismiss as many as a quarter of those recruiters for failing to meet their quotas. The cost of that
turnover was catastrophic. The Air Force spends an average of $30,000 to train a recruiter. The
direct cost of replacing 100 a year was nearly $3 million. The indirect costs -- which, for starters,
included the missed recruiting targets -- were even greater.
For Handley, the challenge was to figure out a way to assess each recruiter applicant more
accurately -- to predict a candidate's likelihood of success before hiring that person. After looking
over a series of sales-aptitude screening instruments, Handley was most impressed by Reuven
Bar-On's EQI. "It just seemed to go to the heart of it," he says. The 133-question self-
administered test evaluates 15 qualities, such as empathy, self-awareness, and self-control, but
also includes categories that seem less obviously a measure of emotional competence -- among
them assertiveness, independence, social responsibility, and even happiness.
In early 1997, eager to learn more about the predictive capabilities of the EQI, Handley
administered the test to 1,200 staff Air Force recruiters. They were divided into three groups:
high performers who met 100% of their quotas, average performers who met at least 70%, and
failures who met less than 30% of their quotas. The highest performers outscored the lowest in 14
of the 15 EQI competencies.
Handley found the results intriguing but not fully satisfying. "They were equivalent to telling
you, 'Here are 14 ingredients that will make a good-tasting cake,' but then not giving you the
exact amounts of the ingredients," he says. Taking his analysis one level deeper, Handley used a
statistical-modeling technique to determine the top-five qualities that were associated with the
highest-performing recruiters. They were ( in order of importance ) assertiveness, empathy,
happiness, self-awareness, and problem solving. Disparate as these qualities may seem, they
made sense to Handley. "Assertiveness is obviously important," he says. "If you're happier,
you're more positive, and that's infectious. Someone with strong empathy skills can read a cold
sale very quickly and won't waste time if it isn't going to work out. And recruiters with strong
problem-solving skills think on their feet more efficiently, waste less time, and feel less stressed -
- which makes them more effective in the long run." Indeed, the highest-performing recruiters put
in the fewest number of hours. "The best ones work smarter, not harder," Handley says.
Recruiters who matched this high-performance profile turned out to have been nearly three times
more likely to have met their quotas than their less-successful counterparts. The model yielded
five categories for rating the probable success of new recruiters based on their EQI scores --
excellent fit, good fit, fair fit, poor fit, and bad fit. This assessment turned out to be remarkably
accurate. All recruiters who were considered "excellent" fits have met 100% of their recruiting
quotas during the past year. More than 90% of the "good" fits met their quotas, compared to 80%
of the "fairs" and less than 50% of the "poors."
The real value of that data was its ability to predict the performance of job applicants.
Theoretically, the model suggests a 95% chance of success of a potential recruiter with a "good"
or an "excellent" EQI profile. So Handley required every new recruiter to meet that threshold.
One year later, the turnover among new recruiters had dropped from 100 to just 8. Based on an
investment of less than $10,000 for EQI testing, the Air Force saved $2.76 million. "I come from
an aeronautical orientation, and drag is what slows a plane down and impedes performance," says
Handley. "To me, the EQI is a way to profile individual and organizational drag."
Handley went on to administer the EQI to two other groups in the Air Force -- chronic substance
abusers and spousal abusers. His goal was to identify their EQI deficits. Substance abusers' key
deficits turned out to be problem solving, social responsibility, and stress tolerance. Spousal
abusers primarily lacked empathy and had poor impulse control and an inflated self-regard.
Again, the results made sense to Handley -- and suggested a better approach to those problems.
"We typically give people standard treatments," he says. "For spousal abusers, it might be anger
management. The implication of these findings is that you need to individualize training to
enhance the specific competencies that a person is lacking."
Handley has also begun to experiment with delivering such training through a Web site called EQ
University.com. For $99, visitors to that site can take the EQI online, receive a seven-to-eight-
page assessment, and participate in a 30-minute confidential telephone consultation with Handley
or another trained professional. Based on that feedback, people can then select the competencies
that they want to improve on and sign up for Web-based courses on 9 of Bar-On's 15
competencies. ( The other 6 will be available by summer 2000. ) Each course costs $49, and
personal coaching is also available. So far, these courses are very basic and minimally interactive.
It will be interesting to see whether deeply habitual behavior patterns can be transformed through
Web-based training programs. Bar-On believes that progress will occur in increments. "We've
got a good start in assessment," he says. "Successful training is what we really have to tune up
over the next several years."
Conclusions:
How often do we wish we had something like a stethoscope to measure relationships? "It's very
hard to know what people are feeling in my office and how I should respond." Do we not hear
such comments from friends about the difficulty in the workplace of finding a balance between
reasonable openness and respectful discretion? "When one of my direct reports starts talking to
me about her medical problems, I don't want to be unsympathetic, but it makes me very
uncomfortable," says a male department head. "I find myself joking by saying to her, 'Too much
information.' But I'm not really sure how to get the message across." Conversations like that one,
focusing on the importance of emotions in the workplace, are occurring with greater frequency in
all kinds of companies. The graph is moving upwards, as the implications of globalization are
being felt across the globe. Appreciation, apprehension, defensiveness, inadequacy, intimidation,
resentment - which ones don’t bother us? Training on Emotional Intelligence is no more
uncommon, at least in the USA. In other countries, it is packaged in a different mould, like
Relaxation sessions, Stress Relieving sessions. Although not quite completely reflecting the same
approach, they at least reinforce the belief that the competitive world, today, needs to mange
Emotional Intelligence much more than ever before.
[ For example, training sessions on emotional competence take place at the Minneapolis facility
several dozen times a year. An unlikely pioneer in the field of emotional competence, AmEx
launched its first experimental program in 1992. An eight-hour version of the course is now
required of all of its new financial advisers, who help clients with money management. During a
four-day workshop, 20 participants are introduced to a range of topics that comprise an
emotional-competence curriculum, including such fundamental skills as self-awareness, self-
control, reframing, and self-talk.
Much of that material represents new territory for these businesspeople. "The majority of those
we work with are very cognitive and not very experienced with emotions," explains Darryl Grigg,
a psychologist who practices in Vancouver, British Columbia and conducts about 20 workshops
each year for AmEx and other organizations. "We're introducing people to a whole new
language." Employees, for their part, complied with that prevailing mind-set. Until recently, the
workplace was dominated by male employees - and most of them were just as eager as their
employers were to avoid the ambiguous complications and unexplored terrain of personal
feelings.
One notable exception to that tacit pact occurred in the 1970s and early 1980s, when the
influence of the human-potential movement prompted a brief corporate romance with such
experiential techniques as sensitivity training and encounter groups. But those approaches lacked
the rigor to endure. Before long, business got back to business. A backlash set in, and the focus
returned to no-nonsense training methods that were highly quantifiable, happily free of emotions,
and demonstrably able to produce results that would show up on the bottom line.
Today, more than 20 years later, companies in a variety of industries are once again exploring the
role of emotions in business. This renewed interest in self-awareness is, in part, the result of the
rising corporate power of baby boomers. The increasing presence of women in the workplace and
the higher comfort level they bring to the territory of emotions have also nudged companies in
this direction. And the arrival of the new economy has made companies realize that what they
need from their workers goes beyond hands, bodies, and eight-hour days.
All of this should come as welcome news to residents of the new economy. Companies can
continue to give top priority to financial performance -- but many now also realize that technical
and intellectual skills are only part of the equation for success. A growing number of
organizations are now convinced that people's ability to understand and to manage their emotions
improves their performance, their collaboration with colleagues, and their interaction with
customers. After decades of businesses seeing "hard stuff" and "soft stuff" as separate domains,
emotional competence may now be a way to close that breach and to produce a unified view of
workplace performance.
But like other good ideas that started in psychology and later found new applications in business,
emotional competence is confronting the challenge of its own sudden popularity. Increasingly,
emotional competence is being sold as a solution to each of the categories for which companies
have training budgets, from leadership to motivation to leveraging diversity - competencies that
are emotional only by the most ambitious of stretches. The emerging field has sparked the almost
inevitable scramble to cash in on the spreading claims of its potential applications. ]
Once we are able to understand how important a role EI plays in every aspect of our life, and
particularly in the context of the organizations, we become much more inclined towards evolving
mechanisms, even within limited budgets, to train ourselves, our peers, and the staff in the
possible manner, on the earliest possible date. So, let’s get going, shall we!
References: Go To Top
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Page 1 of 30 Emotional Intelligence

Definitions of Emotional Intelligence: Go To Top

Emotional Intelligence – Major Areas: Go To Top

Why not IQ?

Few Case Studies, EQ v/s IQ: Go To Top

What Can I Do To Raise My EQ: Go To Top

Components of High EQ: Go To Top

Lovable Unloved, Hated

First accept the feelings, then address the behavior.

Self-Injury and Invalidation

Emotional Intelligence and Management Go To Top

* Unmet Emotional Needs Cause the Majority of Problems at Work *

Some Applications: Go To Top

(1) Conflict Resolution:

First, the probability of a mutually agreeable solution is increased when:

handbook of social psychology (Vol. 2: Interpersonal Processes). Oxford, England: Blackwell

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