1

2
Through The Valley…And Lessons Learnt.
A Life Changing Encounter with Death!
Autobiography – Volume 1.

First Edition Print copyright © February 2008 by Akino A.

Davis.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be

reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of
the publisher.

N.B. ALL REFERENCES TO SCRIPTURES ARE

QUOTED FROM THE NEW LIVING TRANSLATION –
SELF HELP EDITION OF THE HOLY BIBLE, UNLESS
OTHERWISE STATED.

ISBN# 978 – 976 – 8211 – 96 – 5

Published by: Kingdom Coaching Company,

Company,
Address: #7 Atherton Drive, Five Rivers, Arouca,
Arouca,
Trinidad,
Trinidad, West Indies.
Telephone: 1-868-
868-489-
89-8844 / 1-
1-868-
868-337-5886.
886.
Website: www.kingdomcoach.w
www.kingdomcoach.webs.com
ebs.com
Email: sme.chiefconsultant@gmail.com

Editing and Proof Reading by: Dr. D. Ibeleme, A.A.T. Davis,

S.R. Lowe, C.T. Ryan – Myers and M. Wong.

Cover Design by Akino Davis.

Printed in the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago.

3
 TABLE OF CONTENTS.
COVERING STATEMENT… page 5
DEDICATION… page 7
FOREWORD – Dr. David Ibeleme page 9
INTRODUCTION… page 11

SECTION ONE: THROUGH THE VALLEY.

Chapter 1: THROUGH THE VALLEY… page 16

SECTION TWO: REFLECTING ON THE WARNING.

Chapter 2: REFLECTING ON
THE WARNING… page 43

SECTION THREE: ABANDONMENT, GUILT AND

SELF-
SELF-CONDEMNATION.
Chapter 3: FROM SONSHIP TO A
BASTARD… page 49
Chapter 4: ABANONING SHIP… page 53
Chapter 5: THE GUILTY FEELING… page 58
Chapter 6: CONFRONTING DEPRESSION… page 61
Chapter 7: LEARNING TO FORGIVE… page 65

SECTION FOUR: WHAT MAKES LIFE LIVING?

Chapter 8: FINDING LOVE ONCE… page 71
Chapter 9: APPRECIATING PEOPLE… page 74
Chapter 10: GREAT EXPECTANCY… page 78
Chapter 11: RESPECT AND HONOR… page 81
Chapter 12: EXPRESSION OF LOVE… page 84

SECTION FIVE: OVERCOMING THE PAIN.

Chapter 13: I’M SORRY… page 88
Chapter 14: WHAT MATTERS MOST? page 92
Chapter 15: WHEN PURPOSE CALLS… page 95
Chapter 16: STARTING YOUR JOURNEY… page 99
4
Chapter 17: FINDING LOVE AGAIN… page 102
Chapter 18: TESTIFYING… page 106
AFTERWORD – Akino Davis page 110
UPCOMING WORKS… page 111

5
 COVERING STATEMENT:
“A MAN OF PURPOSE IS SIMPLY UNSTOPPABLE. HE
KEEPS MARCHING TOWARDS HIS DESTINY,
AGAINST ALL ODDS. YOU ARE A MAN OF
PURPOSE!”

“For the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don’t even
know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But
the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be
expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts
knows what the Spirit is saying, for the spirit pleads for us
believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that
God causes everything to work together for the good of those
who love God and are called according to his purpose for
them. For God knew his people in advance and he chose those
them to be like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn,
with many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he
called them to come to himself and he promised them his
glory.”

“What can we say about such wonderful things as these? If

God is for us, who can be against us? Since God did not spare
even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t God, who
gave us Christ, also give us everything else?” “Who dares
accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? Will God? No!
He is the one who has given us right standing with himself.
Who then will condemn us? Will Christ Jesus? No, for he is
the one who died for us and was raised to life for us and is
sitting at the place of highest honor next to God, pleading for
us.”

“Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it

mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or
are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or

6
threatened with death? (Even the Scriptures say, “For your
sake we are killed everyday; we are being slaughtered like
sheep”). No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is
ours through Christ, who loved us.”

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from

his love. Death can’t and life can’t. The Angels can’t and the
demons can’t. Our fears for today, our worries about
tomorrow and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s Love
away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest
ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us
from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our
Lord.”

Written By: Apostle Paul to the Romans.

Romans chapter 8, verses 26 to 39.

7
 DEDICATION.
Dedicated To:

- The memory and contribution made and in honor of the Lives

of my late wife VONELLE MELISSA DAVIS (23rd October
1979 died 5th May 2006) and my son JOSIAH DAVIS
(Conceived July 2005 died 23rd April 2006).

- For Vonelle who by persistence led me into the kingdom of

Christ, supported me in everyway possible and helped me
maintain a righteous lifestyle.

- I am forever grateful. For Josiah who presented the

opportunity for me to experience, learn and understand what
true fatherhood is about.

- All who have lost love ones and are yet to recover from grief.

- My Mother, GLORIA WILSON- WILSON-THOMAS.

THOMAS For her
continuous support and Love towards me.

- Apostle Emmanuel Vivian Duncan.

Duncan For challenging me to
march towards my purpose and produce this book. For
stepping up as a true Father of the Faith to adopt me and
spiritually cover me with a genuine concern for bringing God’s
gift in me to blossom.

- Doctors Spann and Williams and All the Nurses at the

Seventh Day Community Hospital who genuinely attended to
Vonelle. May God continue to guide your lives.

- Vonelle’s Family: Mr. Vaughn Joyeau and Mrs. Carol Joyeau,

Josanne, Jana, Kyle, Kelsey and Chelsea.
- My Family: Dad (Alston Davis), Gary, Janelle, Aisha, Adisa
8
 and Chelsea who stood by me during my time of grief and
mourning.

- My Friends who visited me and Vonelle at the Hospital during

this time: Winston Simon, Delores Stapleton, Michael Doyle,
Kevin Audain, Stacy-Ann Lowe, Cathy-Ann Hogan, Arlene &
Ernil Moore and those who I have forgotten to mention,
forgive me.

- Apostle Wayne Haywood. For sewing the seed of God’s word

in my spirit, baptizing me in the faith and for nurturing me in
the discipline of Christianity.

- Special thanks to Wendell Harewood & Kirk Hogan for

donating blood to assist in meeting Vonelle’s medical needs.

- Sheila Simpson and Simpson’s Funeral Agency, Couva. I am

eternally grateful to Sister Sheila for performing the Cremation
service for Josiah and for the excellent job in presenting the
bodies of my wife and son in such a royal way. For her
generosity and favor towards me, thanks.

- All Husbands and Wives who waste time, not making the most
of the time with the people God has given to us!

- All who contributed financially, emotionally and otherwise to

bring this book to life.

- All who will read and receive the content of this book and
aspire to be equipped for the expected real
reality of the death of
our loved ones and your life afterwards.

9
 FOREWORD..
FOREWORD
Reading “Through The Valley…And Lessons Lessons Learnt!” was a
tremendous blessing to me personally. For many of us it is
difficult to acknowledge our feelings and emotions and claim
to walk in faith at the same time. This is because we have been
generally taught that faith doesn’t recognize or acknowledge the
negative situations we face in life. Many have felt that
appreciating or admitting when we are experiencing tough,
frustrating or painful times in our lives is a mark of unbelief.

This book “Through The Valley…And Lessons Learnt!” helps

us appreciate the scriptural truth that faith doesn’t deny the
existence of problems or negative circumstances but rather, it
denies those situations the ability to rule or govern our lives.

I thank Akino Davis for being generous and brave enough to

write this book which can be likened to a modern day “Job
experience”. Though he takes time to take us through his
pains, frustrations and depressing moments he never failed to
keep pointing us to the fact that God and His Word are the
keys to overcome them. More than the pains and suffering
experiences, this book showcases and opens our eyes to the
delivering Power of Almighty God. The book clearly focuses
on God’s grace and mercy and continually shows us that there
is no pain that is too great for God to heal.

Akino’s writing style is very reader friendly and really makes

the account come alive. I look forward to the possibility of this
book being transformed into a motion picture or a theatrical
stage performance.

I also appreciate how he has allowed God’s power of

forgiveness to help him overcome all the resentments he had
against people who though close to him had hurt him a lot.
10
To you Akino, I believe that you demonstrated a high level of
maturity in the way that you avoided mentioning the names of
the people, whom you felt, hurt you. I am also grateful to God
that you accepted His comfort and received beauty for ashes,
the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for the
spirit of heaviness. I can indeed say that you have become a
tree of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be
glorified, in accordance with Isaiah 61: 3.

I believe this book will encourage and comfort every reader

and be a tremendous tool in leading people to the Lord Jesus
whose love is truly unconditional.

Akino, you are blessed to be a blessing. Stay Strong.

Bishop (Dr.) David Ibeleme

President VFM (Trinidad & Tobago)

11
 INTRODUCTION.
This book is called “Through The Valley…AndValley…And Lessons
Learnt.” It is the first release in a planned series of published
experiences and testimonies of mine and forms part of the
“Intensive Care Outreach Series.” it is in fact a compilation of
multiple books merged to highlight the following:

(1). The Experience

(2). The Warning.
(3). The Lessons Learnt.
(4). The Naturally Expected Reactions and
(5). Moving Onwards.

This book has its origin from a daily diary of I kept whilst at
the hospital. The diary notes were intended to merely remind
and refresh my wife’s memory of the ordeal she endured, so
as, to assist in her full recovery. Little did I expect that these
diary notes would form part of this book, sharing with you
what was recorded.

The “Intensive Care Outreach Series,” was birthed from the

thirteen-day wilderness experience my wife spent in a coma, in
the intensive care unit of the hospital, battling for her life, a
fight she eventually ceded to. It was at her bedside during these
thirteen days (April 24th 2006 to May 5th 2006) that I was
taken to school by the Holy Spirit and taught the most vital
truths of life, at least as they pertained to my experience in
losing my entire family.

This book is written to share with the reader the high points
and depths of living and the revelations understood by the
reality of the death of our love ones. I would be cheating you if
I didn’t share the inspiration for writing this book. As
expressed in the covering statement on the first page, I believe

12
now that my purpose is one fuelled by the desire to minister to
the heart-broken and the unaccomplished by sharing my
opinions and the experiences I gained through times of grief
and failure in spiritual, social and business aspects of my life.

What began with my wife conceiving and becoming pregnant

with our first child and the joy and excitement it created for us
and this climax, ending in the still birth of our son Josiah and
the passing soon after of his mother Vonelle, was just the
catalyst that sparked my reasoning for the benefits and the
greater plan of which God had for my Life. I have always
aimed to live life according to the pattern that men perceive as
the right standard for living; marry first, sex after and then
family growth and climbing the corporate ladder all in good
succession. I was never prepared for the mishap of losing a
loved one, much less, losing the two of them that constituted
my family. All things normal to me became weird and
abnormal.

My short-lived experience thus far as a husband being married

for one year and eight months and father for nine months
(mother’s pregnancy) and now living the experience as a
widower and grieving father, brought a new found meaning to
my short yet experienced life. At twenty-six years on the earth I
have discovered the meanings of the roles, position and offices
of the Husband, Father and Leader. It is with the slow passing
of time and the healing process that continues daily, that have
allowed me to overcome my fear of me not being able to
counsel with and help those, who like me have had a hard time
dealing with the “Lessons Death Taught … That Life Didn’t.”

Furthermore, the inspiration for this book is the vital step I

took in inviting the power of forgiveness to enter my life. If you
are to really triumph over grief and move on successfully with
your life, forgiveness is of paramount importance to your

13
progress, as is explained in chapter seven: Learning to Forgive.

It is therefore my sincerest desire that you will allow the Holy

Spirit or some form of conscience to search the ambitions of
this book as you continue to read and internalize its content. I
expect very much that by sharing my life, my emotions and my
thoughts with you in this book, it will help you and all those
who read it. I pray that this book will open the eyes of the
leaders who neglect their responsibility towards those that
follow them and for the people who take for granted the fine
folks who grace our lives.

Finally I pray that this book will stimulate change in attitudes,

understanding and communication between friends and
families; husbands and wives and parents with their children.

Before each chapter is a covering scripture that forms the

theme of the chapter. Following each chapter is a series of
personal questions I asked of God, my family and friends and
myself and the answer to each of these questions which helped
me to recover and begin to live life once more in the perfect
will of God for my life.

Read on then, if you are ready to conquer your grief by

traveling Through the Valley with me, learning and
implementing the Lessons Death Taught Me… That Life
Didn’t!

Though chapters three and four are harsh in their delivery of

my feelings during the period of my grief, it is an honest
attempt to share what I felt and if I withheld these raw
emotions it would result in cheating you from identifying with
the objectives of this book and the healing power within its
pages. It is therefore important to note that this book is not
meant to intentionally hurt or embarrass anyone but it is the

14
truth, my truth… “and the truth that we know will make us
free”.

15
 SECTION ONE

THROUGH THE VALLEY.

16
 CHAPTER 1:
THROUGH THE VALLEY.
“O Lord, I have so many enemies;
so many are against me. So many are saying,
God will never rescue him! Interlude
But you, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory
And the One who lifts my head high.”

Psalms 3:1-3

It is only fitting that the first chapter of this book be one that
recounts the final moments of the life of my wife and son and
my life with them. This chapter is a transcription of the diary I
kept from Monday 17th April 2006 up until Monday 8th May
2006. It is a very personal experience and it is meant to express
the highs and lows of the emotions of a husband and father as
he waits on a miracle from God. It is my hope that by sharing
this experience with you, you will gain a full appreciation of my
moments of grief, sorrow, anger and shock and truly appreciate
my motivation for writing this book. Be challenged in your
understanding of this chapter as I attempt to sensitize you to my
walk through the valley of death.

Monday 17th April 2006 – Friday 21st April 2006.

At nine months pregnant and being previously admitted to the

hospital the week before, Vonelle has once again been visited
with an unexpected sickle cell crisis. A demon, a thorn in her
flesh I presume, (just as was the case of the Apostle Paul as
described in 2 Corinthians 12), to prevent her from becoming
“puffed up” and to always remind her that she has to rely on
Jehovah God for her sustenance. During this period, doctors
and nurses do everything that was scientifically possible to treat
with the condition, our family members visit and pray and some
members of our church interceded on Vonelle’s behalf.
16
The imminent expectancy of our baby boy is foremost in my
mind and for Vonelle; she just wants healing for the pain.
Trusting God and having faith is easier said than it is practiced
but as believers in Christ we must take our limits off God and
allow him to control every situation.

Saturday 22nd April 2006.

Today I visited my wife at 11:00 am and we had such lovely

fellowship, one could hardly expect what was to follow later on.
During my visit we talked about our expected son and we
planned for his arrival into this world. His room at home was
already well prepared, clothes folded neatly and packed in the
drawers of the crib we bought, the stroller parked neatly in the
corner of the room and all the other items we had provided for
our prince were placed on the toddler bed in his room.

At 5:00 pm when I returned for the afternoon visitation period

at the hospital, I has shocked and hurt to the core of my soul.
Vonelle had slipped into a state of dementia, she did not even
remember or recognize who I was and of what relation I bore to
her. It was evident to me now that the sickle cell crisis had
reached a critical state and the pain was unbearable. The blood
count level as monitored by the doctors had decreased suddenly
from 10 to 4 in a matter of hours and her breathing now
labored.

I agonized to watch my wife now restrained to the hospital bed

by the nurses on duty, as if she was some sort of animal, in an
effort to prevent her from pulling at the needles of oxygen and
intravenous fluid tubes in her arms.

18
Sunday 23rd April 2006.

At just past Midnight early Sunday morning I was summoned

back to the hospital as a matter of urgency by Vonelle’s cousin
who coincidentally was a co patient on the same ward with her.
The hospital needed my consent to perform an emergency
surgery to remove our son from within his mother’s womb, so as
to save his life, a procedure we had been pleading for them to
perform all week long prior to this. At 4:00 am word came that
our son had died in the womb and my wife was now in critical
conditioned having suffered a lung failure during the procedure.
It hurt me to see Vonelle in a coma and helpless to the situation
that befell her especially knowing the fighter that she is.

Now having to plan a funeral for our first son, born dead, it is an
expectation that no father would ever want, I can now identify
with how much God really loves us, for he sent his only son as a
lamb to be slaughtered for our salvation. I could feel the
presence of God, his Spirit, telling me that something went
wrong in my attempt as a husband, something I must be held
responsible for, something I will now share for those who are
willing to read on.

Monday 24th April 2006.

Though Vonelle’s condition remained critical we (the family)

had more hope to hold on to. By now Vonelle was transferred
to the Intensive Care Unit of the Seventh Day Adventist
Community Hospital and My Mother flew in from overseas to
lend her support. I had demanded residency at the hospital in a
determined effort not to leave until Vonelle left the institution
alive and well. After the morning visit, there were signs of
response. As I spoke to her and declared prophetically over her
life and the situation, I felt my wife squeeze my hand. I sang a
song from a local gospel artiste she liked and saw her feet kicked

19
and felt another squeeze of my hand. The doctor on the ward
informed us (the family) that the vital signs were as follows:

- The blood pressure was in the range of 130 over 75, almost
a normal level. This was good because she was admitted
with the blood pressure at over 250 on the upper reading.
- Heart rate was coming closer to normal.
- Respiration at 30 – 40 breaths per minute. This wasn’t
normal and was faster than the normal rate which is around
18 breaths per minute.

On the other hand,

- Fluid was detected in the lungs and pure oxygen was

administered in an attempt to successfully dry out the fluid
in the lungs.
- A culture harvest was taken from a scraping of the lungs and
sent for testing to detect the type of lung failure. Anti-biotic
drugs is continued to be administered in the short term to
fight the bacteria.

Today we had a lot to look forward to and a lot to thank God

for. Vonelle’s condition was on the mend and recovery was
swift. Later in the evening while most of our immediate families
gathered, we were soon joined by three other Christian believers
and what began as a time of socializing and support, evolved into
a session of serious fire-breathing, tongue speaking, prophecy
declaring prayer and worship session.

Tuesday 25th April 2006.

My morning visit even more exciting than yesterday, though I

prayed with Vonelle aloud without her responding physically I
could sense that her spirit was still fighting. The doctor indicated
then, that she was still very much critical and all her vital signs of

20
life were slowly normalizing. After I prayed, sang and spoke to
my wife as I would each morning, I left the hospital to attend
and witness the autopsy of our deceased Josiah. On arrival at the
mortuary, I was informed that the body had not yet been
released from the hospital and in haste I made over to the
maternity hospital to question the delay for the release of
Josiah’s body. Imagine this, on my way to the hospital, my
baby’s body was also on route to the mortuary and I made that
trek in vain, you could imagine my frustration. This angered me
because the autopsy had now been postponed until the following
day.

At about 1:30 am and along with my mother we had the

opportunity to visit with Vonelle again. As we greeted Vonelle
her physical response to us was immediate. Her eyes began
blinking rapidly and movement was occurring in both her feet.
These reactions were very refreshing to our faith (those of us
who still believed) and I also believed it was a direct result of
spiritual intervention. You see, although I was absent, Apostle
Vivian Duncan, had visited her and prayed with her just after
midday and it was at this moment that Vonelle first began
physically reacting to the sound of voices she knew, by blinking
rapidly and breathing heavily.

Anyways, while mom and I were by Vonelle’s bedside, one

could sense the eagerness in her wanting to regain
consciousness; eyes blinking, limbs moving and now, her voice
was groaning. It was unclear if the groaning were a sign of pain
or not but what we knew was that the groaning were a new sign
of expression and response now being demonstrated.

After a long day of ups and down, excitement and suspense, I

returned to bed a little after midnight with the assurance from
the doctors that all Vonelle’s vital signs were stabilizing, and her
response to sound was heightening.

21
Wednesday 26th April 2006.
2006.

This day proved to be such a long day. During my regular

morning visit with Vonelle along with my Mom, it was the first
time during this period I was not my usual bundle of joy.
Nevertheless I composed myself and entered the Intensive Care
Unit and stood by my wife’s bedside as I would routinely do. My
mother did most of the speaking this morning and did try to do
as I did always. I held unto Vonelle’s left hand, acknowledged
the presence of God with a prayer, then I told her how pretty
and beautiful she was this morning. I also, as usual, told her that
I had two friends with me, who came to visit her; they were Jesus
Christ and the Holy Spirit who came to promise her that they
were always by her side and that she will never be forsaken.

I left the ward at about 9:30 am because it was time for the
nurses to administer the morning doses of medication. I
subsequently left the Community Hospital and made my way to
the Medical Sciences Complex in east Trinidad, where the body
of our deceased son laid at the mortuary awaiting the scheduled
autopsy. After an hour delay, the autopsy was performed and
Josiah’s cause of death was determined. “Fetal Hypoxia” was the
medical term for saying that our baby was starved for oxygen in
his mother’s womb; the medical staff took too long in removing
him after Vonelle went into shock. Imagine I spent the entire
day thereafter in the process of obtaining the death certificate.

On receipt of the certificate I checked the time to realize it was

already 3:30 pm and I didn’t even have time to visit the St.
James Police Station to obtain permission to cremate Josiah’s
remains at the Crematorium.

I returned to the Community Hospital which had now become

my home with Vonelle. At the time I returned, Vonelle was
being attended to and I had to wait before I could visit with her.

22
In the mean time I responded to and answered numerous
phone calls, entertained the barrage of well-wishers that came
and fellowshipped with our families at the hospital’s waiting
room. The doctor attending to Vonelle eventually reported that
she was now 80% reliant on the respirator machine; for the most
part, she could not breathe on her own ability. This though was
a 20% improvement from the day before when she relied 100%
on the machine.

I took this report as good news and it renewed my faith and joy.
The only thing that bothered me was the super-protective stance
of Vonelle’s mother concerning the visitors that came by the
hospital. Her apparent concern of evil-doers with intention to
further hurt her daughter spiritually and what I considered a lack
of faith in the ability of God’s Angels to protect Vonelle, did
indeed anger me. I later realized and understood however that
the same instinct I displayed at the maternity hospital when
Josiah died was indeed the same paternal and even maternal
instinct Vonelle’s mom was exerting.

I retired to bed later this night awaiting the morning time to give
God new praise and continue with my prayer and fasting in
anticipation of visiting with my wife.

Thursday 27th April 2006.

The reservoir of strength appears to be running dry this

morning. So many negative thoughts are running through my
mind. For this is the first time I awoke and visited Vonelle
without a word of encouragement to share with her. I instead
needed a word. The reality just registered and the pain of
watching my wife helpless began to pierce my spirit. I knew that
this freeze in my spirit could not only be detrimental to Vonelle
and me but also to the families and well-wishers who looked to
me for strength. I discovered this morning how much power

23
there is in the name of Jesus Christ, I found strength to pray with
her and speak life to her, even in my despair, which soon
disappeared.

I left the community hospital after my visit with Vonelle this

morning and made my way to the maternity hospital to have
Josiah’s body transferred to the funeral agency. A spirit of
boldness overcame me to approach the throne of God Believing
in faith, causing me to praise, worship and pray with energy and
sustained effort like never before. I prayed from Mt. Hope to
Cocorite for about one hour and ten minutes during the evening
rush hour traffic. I’m sure God spoke to me this evening and it
was there and then I realized how important and the difference
that prayer with fasting makes when communicating with God
the Father, through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, God’s
Son.

My evening visit with Vonelle was a good one after such a throne
room experience. I didn’t say much to Vonelle, still
unconscious, but deep in my spirit I knew I didn’t have to say
much this evening. I felt the comfort of knowing the Holy Spirit
was ministering to Vonelle even in this moment.

Satan doesn’t give up easily you know. As Vonelle’s family

visited and we declared her healing and at this time when we all
should be united, I begin to feel aggression and resentment
towards them. Two nurses on the ward at the time used by God
ministered me back into Christian wisdom and values and I
quickly overcame the selfishness that consumed me. I conceded
that I along with all our relatives were equal stakeholders in this
situation. I asked for the families’ forgiveness.

At 9:55 pm I concluded tonight’s writing and begin to seek the

face of God. Having already read my bible as my daily
devotional had me do, I thanked God for keeping Vonelle in

24
perfect health and peace, our families in perfect peace and
myself in perfect faith.

Friday 28th April 2006.

Last night I prayed reverently asking God to speak to me, to

show me a character in the bible that sinned in the worst ways
and became transformed from an encounter with Christ.
Furthermore, to show me this character who went on to lead a
life as a powerful servant of God. As I awoke this morning I was
lead in the Holy Spirit to Philippians chapter 2 verses 14 which
reads, “In everything you do, stay away from complaining and
arguing”. I chose to read on and the discovered that the author
of this book who was Paul (formerly called Saul) was the
example of the perfect character of whom I’d ask God to reveal
to me the night before. God used this example to show me that I
was not the only sinner who could be later used to effect
purpose on the earth.

During the course of the day I was able to obtain permission to

cremate the remains of our son Josiah’s body and to pick up the
items of clothing necessary for the funeral home to prepare for
the cremation. I chose a cute bear outfit that Vonelle had
purchased previously.

I returned to the SDA Community hospital at approximately

4:30 pm after the appointment with the funeral director was
cancelled for tomorrow. My first attempt to see Vonelle was
futile. It wasn’t until 6:00 pm I had the opportunity to visit my
wife after both our mothers had visited with her. I had time only
however to tell her how much I still loved her and how much
God loved her and also declared God’s power over her.
Remembering God’s power to deliver Israel from slavery in
Egypt and his power to raise Christ from the dead and into
Heaven and Christ’s ability to bring Lazarus back to life, I

25
declared with authority the healing power of the blood of the
Lamb over Vonelle. I had to leave the room after this for the
doctors attending to begin x-ray tests and a host of other checks
they would routinely perform.

From here on I spent the evening entertaining visitors and

stealing a look at Vonelle ever so often through the crack of the
door opening until the visitors left and I eventually retired to bed
at midnight.

Saturday 29th April 2006.

I awoke at 8:00 am after tossing and turning in bed for the last
four hours, gave thanks to Jehovah God for this day and
commenced my daily diary logging of today’s experience. On
Friday 28th I was inspired by God to find the most soothing
scripture, Philippians 2:14 “Do all things without complaining
and arguing”.
arguing”. Gods wants us to endure whatever situation we
encounter with a spirit and attitude of faithfulness, believing that
he is God and there is nothing we go through that he isn’t
already aware of.

Today as I visited with Vonelle at about 10:30 am and began

speaking, immediately Vonelle began to react to the sound of
my voice. My mother was also present in the room and as I
spoke to her she smiled from ear to ear showing all her teeth,
even attempting to speak, making larger gasps for breath and a
deep piercing stare from her jaundiced yellow eyes penetrated
through my soul. My spirit was grossly enriched as this response
was unprecedented in the six previous days of her comatose
state. So much so of a surprise it was that my Mom and the
nurses present were all very elated at the situation; so much joy
abounded that they all expressed how happy they were.

Although I have recently felt a sense of animosity from the

26
persons who I expected to support me through this situation, I,
nevertheless, called Vonelle’s home to tell them of the good
news. I’m smiling now because I know that all is well with
Vonelle.

After visiting with Vonelle and accompanied by my mother, we

journeyed to Couva (an upcoming town in central Trinidad), to
attend to the appointment with the Funeral Director attending
for the preparation of Josiah’s cremation. After settling the
financial terms and handling that responsibility as a good father
should seek after his son’s interest, we were invited to see his
body. His lifeless, cold, body lay neatly wrapped in a blanket for
me to hold, looking as though his mother had just bathe him
and about to breast feed him; my son looked as though he was
asleep and at this point I couldn’t believe he was actually dead.

Tears sprung to my eyes and I fought to retain them from

streaming down my face. As my mom observed his resemblance
with me and played with his hands and feet I couldn’t help but
imagine how blessed as parents Vonelle and I would have been,
were we graced with Josiah’s presence in our lives for a little
while longer.

When my mom held him in her arms she began to cry,

meanwhile I was taking pictures of my son. I then embraced my
son for the very first time and desperately needed Vonelle to
have this experience also even before I did. Josiah felt so alive in
my arms. I had my mom take more photos for the preservation
of his memory for when his mother recovered from the coma. I
felt duty bound to do this as giving Vonelle the closure she
would soon need, not having the opportunity and experience to
embrace Josiah. As her husband and partner as a parent I felt
confident and justified that I represented Vonelle as a mother to
Josiah Davis.

27
We left the funeral home with the satisfaction that justice was
served on my grief and assisted in providing a cushion for
Vonelle to overcome her grief with more strength and resolve. I
left behind a cute outfit for Josiah, his mother’s favorite. It was a
full body teddy bear suit we called “Onesy” splashed with colors
and animal characters and finished with a little head cap with
two ears on it.

On the way back to the hospital I remembered that I had ran

out of underwear so we visited a male apparel store to purchase
some then I dropped Mom off at the family home, for the first
time since the 24th April after she came into the country on
hearing of Josiah’s death. I felt my mother’s sorrow and her
sympathy towards us (Vonelle and I). When I returned to the
hospital and immediately sought after Vonelle but I had to wait
because she was undergoing muscular physiotherapy. Because
she was bedridden for the past six days in a coma, Vonelle
needed every bit of exercise she could get.

When I did get to see Vonelle it was after her mother, sisters
and their guests did. I went in to see her before the shift had
changed over and the same nurses that witnessed her miracle
response to me this morning were again present on duty. They
warned me about exciting Vonelle again like I did this morning
since I brought some sense of familiarity to her. Vonelle though
was fast asleep for as I spoke words of love and prayed with her,
I could tell that her sub-conscience was soaking in everything I
said, to be replayed at another time. I left the room for about
thirty minutes to resettle in my room at the hospital and
returned at 7:30 pm to tell my wife goodnight.

All her vital signs were better than the days before, in fact, they
were the best the nurses had reported thus far. I kissed my
hands and touched her forehead, hands and feet. I said to her
goodnight and declared a word from God over her, instructing

28
her in responding to the miracle power Jesus had given us to
overcome.

I retired to my room to sleep but instead wrote to you today’s

account that you just read. I guess now I can read the scriptures
then retire to bed. I can sleep sweetly tonight because God has
given me a reason to do so. He has strengthened me and
increased my faith by demonstrating his power to me and for
Vonelle today-8:20 pm.

Sunday 30th April 2006.

One of the three mobile telephones I operated all week long

rang early, at about 7:45 am, awaking me. It was my mom calling
to enquire of my welfare. Soon afterwards, Vonelle’s mother
called with an invitation for me to attend church with her as
ministered to her. I declined the invitation to attend the service
and rightly so because approximately forty minutes later, in
walks Vonelle’s father, intoxicated and accompanied with his
mistress. This was his way of dealing with the situation and I had
to be there to support him as well as his daughter.

As a husband I had let my guard down before by the simplest of

sinful nature and it was up to me to not be caught off guard a
second time. I was determined to be her priest, prophet,
protector in the spiritual, emotional and physical realms. You
see I couldn’t trust anybody around my wife, definitely not her
father in his present state and his companion who I didn’t know
of. I entered the intensive care unit where my wife was housed
and began to pray and invite the presence of the lord to saturate
the atmosphere. What if I had emotionally chosen to attend
church this evening, I would not have been able to supervise the
operations around Vonelle’s bedside and speak against every ill-
intentioned demon force.

29
After my wife’s father had the opportunity to visit with her, his
first born daughter, his very right as a father, I then continued to
speak with her. Her hair was groomed in an upright pony tail,
her eyebrows were neatly marked as with a razor blade and she
was wearing a sexy lip gloss. It seemed as if she was prepared for
a special time with me! I did not hesitate to tell her how
beautiful and sexy she was and how she really appealed to me
this evening. Then I prayed, declared healing over her body and
touched her breasts, massaged her arms, legs and stroked her
forehead. She was still my wife, the one I often made love with
and I just couldn’t resist touching her.

Vonelle began smiling, I could tell she was happy for my visit
this morning and then that I was stepping away for a while, to
return later, in order to allow her to have some rest. At this time
I am confident that my decision to remain at the hospital at my
wife’s side this morning was the right decision to make. I felt in a
good spirit on being able to cover her with my prayer and love
and to see her respond in such a way that no one else witnessed
but me, thank God for this experience. Soon after I left her
bedside Vonelle’s family, her mother and two sisters arrived. I
testified of her progress. Also visiting at this time was a friend
from church who came to support us. Two by two they were
instructed to visit with Vonelle and each came out the ICU with
smiles on their faces. It turns out Vonelle is very receptive this
morning.

As the evening passed on further attempts to visit with Vonelle

proved futile as doctors and nurses prohibited such as a result of
the high level of Vonelle’s response to the presence of her loved
ones at her bedside. The doctor informed me that she was
becoming very restless and ready to awake from her slumber. In
fact they informed me that they had cause to further sedate her
in an attempt to prevent her from tugging at the various tubes
connected to her body. Sedation was necessary because she

30
could not yet breathe on her own due to the lung failure and her
continued reliance on the respirator.

The bible speaks in Deuteronomy chapter 11 verses 8 to 32

about the blessings of obedience and the promises attached to
that obedience. I’m confident that Vonelle, I and our future
generations will benefit from this act of obedience today. I
needed all the comforting I could get but I neglected the
comfort from the family and everyone else at church to pick up
my shield and cover my wife. The time is now exactly 12:00
noon, 30 seconds past.

After sleeping for almost four hours, I awoke and am now

outside sitting in the lawn grassed area at the front of the
hospital. I am able to meditate on the word of God (the Bible)
and make some notes as I was led to. My family which included
my father, mother, sister and niece came to visit at about 5:00
pm. We all sat under a tree until about 6:00 pm then we all went
inside to visit with Vonelle. What we witnessed then was
extremely remarkable. Vonelle seemed awake with both eyes
wide open. In fact she was so active that she seemed to be
attempting to remove the needles and tubes stuck in her flesh.
The doctors and nurses had to restrain her limbs unto the
bedsides to prevent her from causing pain to herself. We were
ecstatic to say the least, thankful to God also for working in his
mighty and powerful way and for working in Vonelle’s favor.

My family left the hospital and not to long after Vonelle’s family
left also. I retired to my room happy and confident that God was
indeed working in Vonelle, “to will and to do his good
pleasure”. (Philippians 2:13).

31
Monday 1st May 2006.

I awoke this morning with mixed emotions. It is 9:00 am and

I’m caught in the middle of two realms.

Realm One: Happiness and Enthusiasm emanating from

Vonelle’s progress made yesterday and the anticipation that she
will wake soon and

Realm Two: Sadness and Grief. Today at 1:00 pm our son

Josiah Davis will be cremated. I’m saddened, extremely so
because his mother never had the opportunity to embrace him
before he died and now he was being cremated before her
recovery.

Can a solution to my dilemma be found? I would hurriedly

embrace this solution. One cannot imagine how broken I feel.
The responsibility and consequence of the action I’m taking to
cremate Josiah’s remains at this time, without his mother’s
knowledge, is one I’d have to live with for the remainder of our
lives. The faith to believe that Vonelle will understand what I
have chosen to do; I do it out of necessity and in selflessness. By
God in Heaven, if there is any other available way of preserving
our sons body for his mother to see, I would do it.

I visited with Vonelle at about 11:15 am and like the evening

before, she was bubbling with activity. Vonelle was doing great.
The platelet count in her blood as well as the actual blood cell
count was excellent. The only area of her health that needed to
show improvement was the lung infection which was clearing
slowly and all vitals otherwise were stable according to the doctor
and she was demonstrating a desire to wake up. I told her that I
was stepping out for a short moment and I subsequently left the
hospital to attend Josiah’s farewell.

32
I made my way back to my room at the hospital to make ready
for the cremation service. On arrival at the crematorium, it was
surprising to see the tremendous show of support from family,
friends, co-workers and parishioners who attended the
celebration of Josiah’s short life. At the end of the service I led
my son off to the incinerator whilst tears streamed and sobs of
farewell echoed from our families and friends. The service
though, was one to remember as Josiah’s life was truly
appreciated and duly celebrated. I thanked the Funeral Director
for performing an excellent service in the absence of my Apostle
and spiritual covering. I thanked her also for preparing Josiah’s
body to look its cutest best!

I returned to the hospital were I practically now resided, and

observing my wrist-watch at 3:40 pm, I retire to bed to seek a
much needed rest from the days activity.

I didn’t get the opportunity to sleep; not for one minute. My

family came by to visit us at 4:30 pm until 6:30 pm followed by
the arrival of Vonelle’s family and other well wishers from our
church. While our friends from church visited we witnessed the
dead body of a patient being carried out from the Intensive Care
Unit, the same place Vonelle had been warded, to the mortuary.
This was the second death I witnessed in my already ten day stay
at the hospital.

At around midnight when our visitors were about to leave, I

stole a peek at Vonelle to say goodnight. She was still a bundle
of activity as has been the case recently, moving her head from
side to side and kicking her feet as though she was readying to
walk a mile and a half! These were excellent signs of progress
and they made me happy. Everyone is gone now and as I retire
to bed its now 12:25 am Tuesday morning. I can now sleep easy.
With Josiah cremated and Vonelle well on the way to recovery, I
had everything to rejoice over.

33
Tuesday 2nd May 2006.

As the previous day closed with a good report, so to also today

begin. After waking I take a bath and devoted myself to prayer, I
could feel the release thereafter that Vonelle would make
significant progress today. I made my way to the Intensive Care
Unit to say my daily tidings to Vonelle and to declare Gods
power over her life. That I did with total confidence and
conviction of heart. I wasn’t allowed to stay for very long; in fact
this visit lasted all but five minutes.

Vonelle was resting comfortably and maybe she needed this

time to rest up and communicate with her Creator. I left for the
day soon after to pay some bills and attend to the insensitivities
of some of our business clients. The reality that business was
unsympathetic hit me, on realizing how heartless one client
proved, extending very little grace, even during this difficult time.

I returned to the hospital after visiting the office and picking up

new items of clothing at around 5:00 pm. On my arrival I took a
peek into Vonelle’s room and was blessed to see her moving her
head and feet. The doctor greeted me then and proceeded to
inform me of my wife’s progress, as follows:

- Oxygen Saturation stable and in the high 90’s

- Jaundice and Berebulin levels decreasing significantly
- Lung infection clearing quickly with an excellent x-ray
report earlier and
- Continued demonstration of wanting to awake.

I tried soon after to visit with her again but was unsuccessful in
this attempt; however her father did pass by and had a peek at
his daughter. He was too afraid to speak to her and asked that I
tell her that he was here. Within the ten days gone by, I must
admit that today has been my most calm day, even after the

34
cremation of our son. I continue to credit and thank God daily
for his generous provision of strength and guidance.

I was granted my right to visit with Vonelle at 7:30 pm. What a

relief and a lovely sight to behold. My wife was now at an 80%
reliance on the life support machines and all her vital signs were
quite stable. Increased body movement was also a motivator for
me and I know I would now be able to sleep easily tonight.
Vonelle’s family nor my own didn’t visit this evening and for
justified reasons they provided and which I accepted. Three
persons however, visited the hospital at some minutes past nine
o’clock, two of these people were on my least likely to visit list
for my own suspicions. I didn’t allow any of these visitors to
enter Vonelle’s room and a peek through the glass pane of the
door was all I allowed.

Wednesday 3rd May 2006.

At precisely 3:00 am I was arrested in the Spirit and awoke

crying and travailing. After worshipping, praying and crying out
to Father God on Vonelle’s behalf and on my own behalf also, I
began to understand what was really taking place around me. An
unfriendly spirit was roaming the hospital and I had been
awoken to pray and cover my wife. After one hour of praying,
just as the presence of the roaming spirit arrived and I awoke, I
fell back to sleep in the same sudden manner until I re-opened
my eyes at 8:00 am when I began today’s writing with this
account.

Whilst writing I had a light breakfast and paused briefly to take a

bath, before I set of to check in on Vonelle. Today is already
proving to be a frustrating one for me. In fact, the most
frustrating day of all my stay here. I was only able to see Vonelle
through a crack in the door, where I stole a peek. Soon after
though, I left the hospital to pay some bills and after returning

35
from these activities, I still find it a problem to get a visitation
with my wife. The nurses excuses were that a new patient was
admitted to the ward and they had to quarantine the area. It is
now 6:25 pm and I hope that I will get the opportunity to see
and speak to my wife as well as to get an update of her progress
today.

At 7:00 pm I was finally allowed to see my beautiful wife and

this made me really happy. When I announced my presence,
she responded with a smile. I then declared again, God’s healing
power and as usual I complimented her on how beautiful she
was. I stood over my wife full of faith, expecting that very soon
she will be up and about God’s business.

Vonelle’s mother and two of her sisters had left prior to me

going in to see her. Her mother had a brief chat with me though
and she left some information for me to read and with which to
educate myself. I’m thankful for the inspirational reading
materials. On leaving Vonelle’s room I had a visit from a dear
brother in the Lord and as always he encouraged me so much,
even more so than the men who professed to be spiritual fathers
and brothers to me, (no disrespect intended).

It is 11:45 pm, I took a last peek into Vonelle’s room for the
night, declared sweet sleep over her and retire to my bed now to
seek God’s face and get some sleep.

Thursday 4th May 2006.

I had a long rest during the night and I awoke at 9:45 am this
morning. By the time I prayed, ate and got dressed, it was
already 11:00 am, at which time I proceeded to Vonelle’s room.
You see I had gotten so accustomed to sleeping with her in the
same bed, that I had taken it for granted that it was indeed a
pleasure to see her first thing in the morning. When I got to her

36
room I was only allowed five minutes for visitation. The nurses
were making preparations for the physiotherapist to begin his
daily exercise session with Vonelle. These sessions as I was
informed, became necessary to prevent muscular dystrophy
(wasting of the muscles). I prayed with Vonelle and told her of
God’s promise to her which is, “to have life and have it to the
full.” I told her again how pretty she looked this morning and
then I told her today’s date and the time.

After leaving the hospital to pay some bills and taking care of
some client needs, I returned to the hospital at 4:30 pm. The
oldest of Vonelle’s sisters was already here and her mother
arrived shortly thereafter. They had not yet been afforded the
opportunity to see Vonelle but I was determined that we all
would see her soon.

I did not get to see Vonelle; in fact none of us present had the
opportunity until later the evening. What I saw on entry of the
room disturbed me, I was startled. By now I had learnt to read
and interpret all the machines connected to Vonelle’s body. All
the vital signs were wrong and very negative. I began to pray on
these observations for the vitals to improve quickly. I spoke
words of life into my wife’s hearing. When I looked at her eyes,
they (the eyeballs) were extremely jaundiced and swollen, almost
to bursting. All who visited including Vonelle’s family and those
from my family also, agreed that she didn’t look her usual best.
After this episode I went back to my room to meditate and
ponder on what I just observed, disturbed and enquiring of the
Almighty.

At approximately 9:30 pm the senior doctor attending to

Vonelle came down to my room. This is a very strange
occurrence since it was unusual for doctors to come to the
rooms of live in relatives. He informed me in the Following:
“Vonelle’s condition has suddenly worsened and that from a

37
medical standpoint, we have done all that we could possibly do
since she is receiving all the medications required but simply just
not responding to the treatment.”

Knowing exactly what the good doctor was implying, I calmly

thanked him for his efforts and as soon as he left the room I
began making calls to inform the family, friends, intercessors
and everyone else I could remember praying for us. By 10:30
pm the gathering of support at the hospital’s waiting room was
tremendous. People I never knew were present. Our families
made the journey back to the hospital and we all began praising
and worshipping God for the better part of two hours.

The devil tried to raise his ugly head when I almost had a
confrontation with the leadership of the church I attended and
this nearly caused the session to erupt into a fracas before he
decided to leave the hospital in an attempt to preserve the
peace. I understood now more that ever that I had a
responsibility to preserve the holiness of my wife before God
and at this delicate moment in her life I was no longer prepared
to toe the line. I instead chose to step out of the line and
become the prophet, priest and the king in this situation.

Even though most visitors remained at the hospital tonight, I

returned to my bed at 12:30 am Friday morning. When I lay
down to rest, I could feel as though someone was watching me.
Throughout the early morning hours I could barely sleep. Each
time I settled into a sleep, I was awoken by the aerie presence
that seemed to be hovering over me.

Friday 5th May 2006.

I awoke early this morning and sought the Lord’s face as had
become my daily ambition. Soon afterwards, people I knew little
of started showing up to join with the family in the praise and

38
worship that was still ongoing on Vonelle and the other patients’
behalf. It was now 8:00 am. As we prayed and worshipped God,
I guess all of us, especially me, had a sudden jolt in our
expression of faith. We prayed even more reverently and with a
renewed passion and confidence.

The Unexpected!

At 9:50 am as we were still praying, a nurse whom I

remembered attending to Vonelle, entered the waiting room
where we were conducting our session. She gently tapped me on
my shoulder as if not to disturb me, asking my audience with
Doctor Spann who was awaiting me in Vonelle’s room. As I
approached the room, I could already hear the continuous
beeping noise, (the flat line noise we hear in the movies when
someone at hospital dies), being sounded from the assortment
of life support machines in her room.

Already in denial and hurt, the doctor said to me in a very sad

tone of voice, words I would never forget for as long as I lived.
His exact words to me were: “I’m really, really sorry but her
heart just stopped beating. Vonelle really fought but we lost
her.”

At this very moment I felt as though my entire existence had

crumbled around me. I calmly said words of thanks to the
doctor and the staff present and asked to see my wife’s body. As
I held Vonelle’s life-less feet, I asked her very angrily why she
gave up; why she died on me? I left the room with tears welled
up in my eyes unable to cry audibly and as I made my way back
into the prayer circle, I, suddenly being empowered to speak,
uttered aloud: “To God be all the Glory because all the Glory is
His!” I then proceeded to tell all present that Vonelle had
passed on at approximately 9:45 am, that she had left us and that
God’s will had prevailed over ours!

39
Reactions of grief struck so swiftly and severe. Screams mixed
with weeping filled the air. Eventually all present were allowed to
have a final look at Vonelle and to say farewell before the
coroner was called to remove the body for an autopsy to be
performed. I used this opportunity to telephone those who
visited throughout this period to inform them of the tragedy and
loss of their dear friend. The subsequent stream of visitors that
came to the hospital was unbelievable, in the worst way. I was
angered more to see people who never contacted me
throughout this ordeal and those who never visited showing up
to visit at Vonelle’s death bed. I immediately sank further into a
realm of disbelief, anger, hurt and grief.

The family and close friends also expressed how they felt about
this late show of support by some. I escaped to my room and
while waiting on the funeral agency to arrive, I began to pack my
belongings to leave alongside my wife. I did say on her
admittance that I was not leaving until she did, unfortunately,
she was leaving dead and I alive. I was somewhat happy and
appreciative however, that my spiritual father did return to the
hospital to console me on hearing the news of Vonelle’s death.

Another
Another Unexpected!

As I was packing word came to me that my mother had suffered

a heart attack in the waiting room where we were keeping our
prayer session. At this time I could only feel that I would lose
everyone that mattered to me. First my only son, then my wife
and now my mother. Imagine being caught between having to
escort my wife out the hospital to the mortuary and my mother
to the emergency ward at the same time. The coroners
understood my plight and held on for a few minutes so that I
could see that my mother was attended to before they left. I was
able to see Vonelle off but I didn’t leave because of the new

40
situation with mom.

The doctors attending to my mother, after diagnosing the

situation, informed us that she had suffered a very mild heart
attack and that they had to administer some medication and had
to put her in a sleep for an hour to allow her to rest and de-
stress. Even after the body left the hospital and mom was awoke,
visitors still streamed into the hospital, we had really lost a good
soul, and I had lost a good wife, friend and lover, gone to soon!

Conclusion: What you have just read was indeed the daily
transcription of my diary during this period. Now that you know
what it was like walking through the valley, I now invite you to
read further to discover the lessons I learned while I passed on
through.

41
 SECTION TWO

LOOKING BACK AFTER BEING

WARNED.

42
 CHAPTER 2:
LOOKING BACK AFTER BEING WARNED.
“Meanwhile, Jesus was in Bethany at the home of Simon,
a man who had leprosy. During supper, a woman came
in with a beautiful jar of expensive perfume and poured
it over his head. The disciples were indignant when they
saw this. “What a waste of money,” they said. “She could
have sold it for a fortune and given the money to the poor.”

“But Jesus replied, “why berate her for doing such a good thing
to me? You will always have the poor among you but I
will not be here with you much longer. She has poured
this perfume on me to prepare my body for burial. I assure
you, wherever the Good News is preached throughout the
world, this woman’s deed will be talked about in her memory!”

Matthew 26: 6-13

As I look back after the funeral and after everyone has gone
back to attending to their lives, I suddenly have a lot of alone
time to reflect and question God, seeking answers to what had
happen to me, a real Job experience I reckoned, though nothing
that occurred was making any apparent logic to me. Two weeks
of severe depression could have been enough to send anyone
insane but as I look back now at the warning I could make sense
of what took place.

I could remember lying in bed for these two weeks, I did not
bathe, shave, eat or sleep during this period and one can
imagine the stink and the depressed mental condition I was in.
Like the disciples in the opening passage of scripture, I realized
that I had been forewarned of the situation that befell me, that
is, the death of my family but I was blinded to understanding the
revelation.
43
It began on the Sunday before Easter Monday. While applying
the final coat of paint to the baby’s room, with the expectancy of
Josiah at any day now, Vonelle made two requests of me. Her
first request was for me to stop working, take a bath and come
“make love” to her. She said she was in that mood and needed
my intervention, as was her right as my wife. Secondly, she asked
that after our moment of passion, she would like to go to the
beach; to Blanchiseusse Village on the North Coast, where she
spent a lot of her childhood vacationing at her father’s relatives.

I was too engrossed in finishing the baby room and I neglected

to fulfill both her requests of me. Oh how I regret those
decisions looking back now. I never had the opportunity to
physically romance my wife again and it is a regret I live with to
this day. Anyway, Easter Monday rolled around and again
Vonelle asked to be taken to the beach at her father’s
hometown. She was so persistent and kept disrupting me
working on the room for Josiah that I eventually ceded to her
requests. When a pregnant woman craves for something, I was
learning to give in to her, whatever she requests.

We reached the Maracas Bay at approximately 2:00 pm but she

did not want to be in Maracas and asked to be taken where she
requested. We met up with her sister and her sister’s boyfriend
and journeyed further up road. We arrived at La Fillete Village,
a small village before our destination at approximately 3:30 pm.
On reaching La Fillet, Vonelle expressed that it was getting late
and she could settle for coming this far. We found a secluded
beach and I had a bath before journeying back along the main
road to our way home.

Vonelle’s action that hereby followed baffled me to the point

where I was confused but supported her nonetheless. Still in La
Fillete Village, Vonelle alighted from the vehicle and began

44
almost spontaneously to visiting the homes of every villager she
knew from her childhood. She walked from house to house as I
drove slowly behind her, to the community center and
basketball court also greeting everyone she knew and didn’t see
for a long time passed. After satisfying herself and I guess
becoming exhausted from the walking, being nine months
pregnant, she re-entered the vehicle, saying “I had to do what I
just did Akino.” We then made our way home.

Looking back now I can associate her actions with those of that
woman who poured the expensive perfume on Jesus’ head. Like
the disciples I complained at the waste of resources, in this case,
a waste of time, since our journey home to Tacarigua was a long
one. After we got home, settled down and had dinner, Vonelle
ask me the most appropriate but unusual question. She asked,
“Babes when was the last time we read our Bible together?” I
responded, “A long time girl” and asked her to bring a Bible for
me.

Vonelle returned with my Bible, the one I valued the most

because she had bought it as a gift for me. She sat next to me on
the sofa and opened the Holy Book. The Bible was opened on
Job chapter one, almost as if Vonelle had a bookmarker at that
page. I proceeded to read chapters one and two and on
completion I said to Vonelle, “Girl I just realized that when
everything befell Job it happened all at once.” You see I had just
realized that after reading this story so often that all of Job’s
drama took place within one day, for while one servant was
giving a bad report, another came with a bad report. And while
that servant was sharing his report another came with bad news.
We prayed together and retired to bed at 9:30 pm.

During the night I passed my hand on the bed and realized that
Vonelle was not in bed. I searched the bathroom but found her
sitting in the dark of the living room. She was crying, I switched

45
 on the lights and realized it was 11:00 pm. I naturally asked if
she was ok and Vonelle responded by uttering a phrase that
haunts me even up to today, her reply was: “I’m ready!” My
immediate reaction was that the baby was coming and I hastened
to have Vonelle ready and I took her to the hospital. She never
returned home!

Vonelle never said what she was ready for and it is at this time
that the walk through the Valley begins for me as the details in
my diary (chapter one) explains. All the signs were clear and
visible but the scales on my eyes, like Saul of Tarsus, were thick
and blinding me from the realities that were awaiting me.
Looking Back After Being Warned I now understand the
reality, why I didn’t recognize the signs. It is here, at this juncture
that I learned the most valuable lesson along this journey called
Recovery. I realized that I didn’t have a personal relationship
with Jehovah God, I knew about him but not who he personally
was and this cost me dearly.

I can now understand why Jesus had to put his Disciples’ minds
at ease when they saw the woman anoint him with the perfume.
You see, they didn’t recognize who he was and maybe didn’t
have a very personal relationship with him because they did not
understand what was taking place by the woman’s action. In the
same way, I didn’t recognize what was happening when Vonelle
alighted the vehicle at La Fillete and greeted everyone she knew.
She was preparing for departure from this earth in almost the
same way that Jesus was preparing to leave earth when he had
dinner with Simon who had leprosy and I too realize that I really
didn’t know until this time whom and whose Vonelle was; An
Angel of God!
Question:
- Have you ever had warning signs you ignored that led to a
tragedy?

46
 Question:
- Do you really understand who God is and do you have a
personal relationship with him?

Question:
- Do you truly know who our loved ones are and why they grace
your life?

47
 SECTION THREE

ABANDONMENT, GUILT AND

SELF-
SELF-CONDEMNATION.

48
 CHAPTER 3:
FROM SONSHIP TO A BASTARD.
“When Joseph’s brothers saw him coming, they recognized
him in the distance and made plans to kill him…
Judah said to the others, “Let’s sell Joseph to those
Ishmaelite traders. Let’s not be responsible for his death,
after all, he is our brother!” And his brothers agreed.”

Genesis 37: 18, 26 –27.

Be prepared to be sold off, abandoned and discarded when you

encounter your periods of sorrow. I had a rude awakening to
this reality and in more ways than one, this reality has proven
more priceless to me than any other of the experiences I had. If
we recall in Genesis 37 and in the following chapters, Joseph, a
young man who shared his dreams with his brothers almost lost
his life for doing so, in fact they sold him off. Imagine what it
feels like to be left alone, without support, when the ones you
trust the most, leaves you for dead.

Joseph was suddenly removed from his father’s house and left
without a covering, without his fathers love and affection. He
suddenly moved from Sonship to being a Bastard! From being
the most loved of his brothers by his father to being forgotten.
Not that I was the most loved in the environment I enjoyed but
being a leader in the ranks, I thought that holding such a
position added value to my contribution towards the success of
those I supported. I realized that it is easy for people to abandon
you, even try to assassinate you (and your character) when they
feel threatened, for whatever reason. This is the same reason
Joseph’s brothers had plotted to kill him, he had dreams shared
it with them and they foresaw that they would live to serve
Joseph.

49
My state of immediate grief and shock and the fact that I thought
I was not afforded the treatment that I expected made me feel
like I had moved from Sonship to being a Bastard.

This is exactly how I felt. I felt as though I was “left to hang,” for
the vultures to eat me alive. I was now without a spiritual
covering, that which I trusted with the spiritual responsibility and
nurturing of my family and me. Joseph being abandoned by his
brothers, confused and hurt; I can identify with this historical
recording of bible event.

Though hurt and confused, I began to see things differently. I

began to see the hand of providence. You see if Joseph was not
sold off and abandoned by his brothers he would not have been
brought to Potiphar’s house as a slave. He would not have had
the opportunity to interpret dreams and be promoted. Joseph
would not have gone to prison as I found myself in an emotional
prison likewise and he would not have met with the Pharaoh.
Most importantly, If Joseph didn’t encounter the selfishness of
his brothers who sold him; he would not have become the
Prime Minister of Egypt.

Likewise if my expectations were not met by those whom I

trusted, I would not have had the experience I gained, I would
not be able to overcome my grief, would not have learned
forgiveness and understanding, I would not have developed a
total reliance in God, Christ and the Holy Spirit and most
significantly I would not be able to testify of God’s grace to me,
the grace which has allowed me to write this book to help those
who lose themselves when others betray their trust.

In the end Joseph’s brothers all ended in his courtyard, with

Joseph saving them from starvation and they served in his
country. I used this story to demonstrate that when it seems as
though men disown us, God will never forsake us! I truly believe

50
 “that all things work together for the good of those who love
God and are called according to his will for their lives.” (Romans
8:28).

From Sonship to a Bastard is probably the harshest road you

would encounter whilst going through the Valley but the early
understanding of the good that follows grief, the silver lining
around the clouds after the rains, is what will guide you along as
it did for me. I was still able to find hope and guidance in the
short term from another “man of the cloth” just as Joseph did
while at Potiphar’s house, the guidance that encouraged me to
produce this book. It is essential that we search for these types
of Fathers, the ones that will own up to their responsibility and
take care of their children. The ones who will not leave their
children exposed to be sold into slavery at the most crucial times
of their lives. The father who embraces the success of their sons.

In the end “being sold and accepting being a bastard,” led me to

realizing that the call on my life was real, has strengthened me to
continually seek for a relationship with the heavenly Father, who
will never disown us! “The will of God will never take us where
the grace of God will not protect us,” just as it did for Joseph
and it did for me, in the same manner it will happen for you in
Jesus’ name.

Question:
- How did you deal with being disowned and abandoned?

Question:
- Can you bring yourself to forgiving those who betrayed your
trust in them?

Question:
- Have you come to the place where you can embrace the
loneliness and convert it into a blessing?
51
 Question:
- What is preventing you from reaching this place?

- Solve it! – Remember 1 Corinthians 10:13 and James 1: 2 – 7.

52
 CHAPTER 4:
ABANDONING SHIP.
Then the Lord told Abram, “Leave your country, your
relatives and your father’s house and go to the land that I
will show you. I will cause you to become the father of a
great nation. I will bless you and make you famous and
I will make you a blessing to others. I will bless those who
bless you and curse those who curse you. All the families of
the earth will be blessed through you.”

Genesis 12: 1-3.

I must admit that when I was inspired to write this book I had
very little idea, in fact I had no idea of where I would end up
after transcribing my diary in chapter one. As I prayed and
sought direction, it has since taken me one year and eight
months to get to this point of writing the manuscript, which was
originally chapter nine before final layout and believe me when I
say that it has not been easy coming. This chapter is a difficult
one writing since it will involve some of my most personal
thoughts.

In writing this chapter I battled with the fears that I may cause
serious injury to the character and reputation of the persons
whose integrity I questioned in the previous chapter as well as
the fear that this chapter may cause me to be on the receiving
end of stern condemnation from those offended, and not be
endorsed by those I depend on to endorse this writing.

The fact that this chapter made it to print as part of the final
copy which you now read, is an indication that the works have
been seen for what it is. My truth; expressed as I experienced it.
This chapter, Abandoning Ship, have been at this point the most
challenging to write. Challenging not from an inspirational
53
standpoint but it has proven challenging from a standpoint of
integrity. Integrity of the church, its leaders and the ideals of
those leaders who, like the captain of a ship or leader of an
organization, are ultimately responsible for the lives of people
that follow them and serve with them. I discovered though that
every person however, is ultimately responsible for themselves!

There are certain choices a person will have to decide on when

faced with betrayal. One of these decisions is making up your
mind in whose company you will remain. When you are let
down, by individuals or an institution to the point where you are
robbed of your soul and spiritual integrity, you have to be
prepared to switch allegiance. I was now faced with one of the
most important decisions I ever had to make in my life.

After accepting the feeling of being rejected I had to seriously

question my allegiance on serving in the ship I had sailed for the
past years. I began realizing that I was no longer in tune with the
vision that led me to this vessel and my identity with this vision
had changed without me even noticing it. When I experienced
this change I knew that if I remained onboard, I would be
exposing myself to dying a sure spiritual death.

I must take time out to state that one must be extremely careful
in removing themselves from an environment in which God has
planted us. That environment can be a job, home, under a
spiritual covering and even your country. If the spirit of the Lord
or some other form of deep spiritual conscience and conviction
has not instructed you to leave your environment; THEN DO
NOT MOVE! It is extremely foolish and dangerous at that and
the risk of exposing yourself to further grief and torment and
inviting all of the other relatives of grief into your life is now
heightened.

I saw too many a movie about the pirate ship that when overrun

54
and attacked by invaders and too damaged to sail, the captain
issues a command to abandon ship. At this point in the movie,
all the sailors would either board the smaller boats and sail off or
plunge into the sea hoping to reach safety. I didn’t know of any
other ship to board at this time so I plunged out into the sea,
hoping to find safety, which I did eventually. I made the plunge
because the place where I resided became a place of bitterness
and hate targeted towards its leadership and rather than running
the risk of mutiny, I chose to leave.

Abram was faced with making a decision that in the eyes of

many seemed ludicrous. He was instructed by God to leave his
relatives and his country. Furthermore, he had no idea where he
was to go, where he would end up but he obeyed anyway.
Abram became weary of the customs of his family, the idol
worshipping, etc and sought more of his current state of
existence. Besides this he was without a child in his old age and
wanted more for his household. When Abram conveyed his
instruction to his family he was called crazy, chastised and
attempts were made to dissuade him from leaving. He left
anyway.

When you disassociate yourself from the monotony of the

traditions that manipulate and dictate your life, make no mistake
you will be persecuted. I had my share but I decided to leave
anyway after first seeking the counsel of some people I trusted. I
felt the need to disassociate from deep within me so that I could
take time apart to recover from the disorientation I found myself
in. I couldn’t function properly, think clearly and I just didn’t
identify with the ideals anymore and I had to leave.

You too will be faced with such a decision when you lose
someone dear to your existence and experience the rejection
from those that you trust and depend on.

55
When I decided to leave I communicated such with my captain.
I don’t have to tell you that an attempt was made to change my
mind. However, like Abram, I was firm in my convictions and
departed. In fact I commend him for not attempting to force me
to stay onboard but instead allowing me to take control of my
own destiny. Many other captains might have waged a desperate
war to imprison me further. Sometimes you have to be prepared
to change environments after a tragedy. When your loved one(s)
die your life is no longer the same and will never be the same
again. I learned this the hard way when I abandoned ship but I
never regretted the decision to do so.

Abram knew if he remained in the company of his kindred he

would never experience the blessing from God and the
breakthrough for a child he desired. His name would not be
changed and he might not become the father of many nations.
In the same way I recognized that my desire to fulfill my
purpose, especially based on this experience I now encountered
with the loss of my family, might never be developed fully if I
remained in the present environment for any moment longer. I
was not worried about where I would end up or what blessing I
would gain, all I was concerned about was the ability to touch
the lives of the people who could identify with my newfound
experience.

As the opening scripture shares the promises God made to

Abram, so too I believe that he will reward the obedience of all
men. I discovered when I abandoned ship, that everyone needs
a captain in their life. Abram had Melchizedek the High Priest
and I quickly realigned myself with a sincere man of God. It is
easy to fall to destruction without a good captain in your life. A
good captain will ensure your accountability to God and His will
for you and prove to be a good mentor and example to follow.

56
 As I write this account also I remember Peter and Paul in the
New Testament section of the Bible. Paul parted ways with
Peter when he realized that his method and belief of what
ministry should be, was different to that of Peter. His decision
didn’t change the fact that Jesus Christ came and died for our
sins and that both he and Peter had an equal job to do for the
Kingdom of God; Paul instead decided to change his method of
delivery to be more direct towards preaching his message to the
gentiles and in keeping with his purpose. He was not prepared
to hide behind his experience encountered on the road to
Damascus.

Again, when you decide to abandon ship, you must be prepared

to suffer as Abram did, as Paul did and as I did. I am in no way
placing myself in the same league as Abram and Paul but merely
using my name alongside theirs to simplify your understanding
of my situation. Be assured the peace of mind, spirit and soul is
far more beneficial than remaining in the confines of the status
quo. Selah.

Question:
- Are you at the place where the only decision left is to abandon
ship?

Question:
- What are you going to decide? Are you prepared to deal with
the detractors?

Question:
- Are you prepared to leave behind all the baggage and press
forward?

57
 CHAPTER 5:
THE GUILTY FEELING.
“Come now, let us argue this out,” says the Lord.
“No matter how deep the stains of your sins, I can
remove it. I can make you as clean as freshly fallen
snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I
can make you as white as wool.”

Isaiah 1: 18.

As sure as the night is and the day comes, I assure you that you
will not escape this feeling of guiltiness. I found myself
convicting me for my wife’s death and that of my son also.
Vonelle had a deep affection and respect for me which I believe
was misunderstood by her family and friends. Many thought I
had some strangle hold on her but far from the truth; in fact, it
was my love towards her that had a hold on her. Because I knew
that I was not always understood and indeed misunderstood, it
didn’t take too long for me to start blaming myself for the
tragedy. I started blaming myself from the moment
complications arose at the time of Josiah’s birth.

Self blame is not an easy weight to shed. It consumes you like an

infection and before you know it, you’re past the point of
healing. The guilty feeling led me down a path I would never
wish anyone to travel. The guilty feeling is just but the beginning
of your worries; it is the access that Satan will use to enter your
soul during your period of grief.

As the guilt set in, it became hard for me to shake it off.

Accompanying the guilt are its close relatives called Shame,
Confusion, Depression and Suicide. I spent two weeks locked in
my home without bathing, sleeping, eating and at my life’s end
contemplating my next move. Guilt became Judge, Prosecutor
58
and Jury of my existence and I’m sure, had I spent one more
day in this condition I might have willingly ended my life. I
remember asking God each night to take my life and at morning
when I awoke, I remember arguing with him for keeping me
alive.

It is easy to become guilty for the deaths of your love ones in the
face of no apparent justification for them dying. When there is
little or no reason for their deaths you automatically blame
yourself. I found all the reasons to blame myself, the failures of
the medical system didn’t qualify and the lack of support from
the church membership didn’t qualify either. The only thing that
qualified and made the perfect target to blame, was me! It
became necessary to give Vonelle’s family the satisfaction of
knowing that I was responsible for all their grief as well, after all
I was her husband, the one with responsibility for taking care of
their Vonelle.

My Miracle!

Do you believe in miracles, I still do!

do! A miracle saved me from
the harm guilt was causing in my life. Whilst lying in the mire
one evening, I saw a hand reach out of the ceiling and held me
by my throat. The words spoken thereafter were so crisp, clear
and refreshing. The hand literally lifted me off my bed whilst the
voice uttered “Get up! You have work to do!” and I fell back
down in the bed. In fright I urinated and defecated myself
during this encounter and was perspiring beads of sweat. I knew
I had just encountered an angel or the Lord himself and his
saving grace and it scared the guilt out of me!

As Isaiah 1:18 explains, the Lord in his grace is waiting to

cleanse us of all guiltiness. And as I argued with him concerning
my guilt, he made me clean as freshly fallen snow. Though I
have never yet seen it snow here in the tropics, I imagine if ever

59
 that takes place, it will indeed be a sight to behold. As I write an
old gospel chorus comes to mind…

“What can make me white as snow?

Nothing but the Blood of Jesus…”

When faced with guilt the only thing that will save us is an
encounter with the Lord. I indeed was crying out from within
and the Lord heard my cry, I had to remind him of who I was;
my name is Akino Davis and though I felt I was a sinner I
begged him to remember me still. Having a personal
relationship with God is imperative if you are to overcome the
guilty feeling and survive grief. To be forewarned is to be
forearmed!

Question:
- Are you blaming yourself for the death of a loved one?

Question:
- Does arguing with the Lord make sense?

Question:
- Have you tried it?

60
 CHAPTER 6:
CONFRONTING DEPRESSION.
“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me and he
turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out
of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as
I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he
has done and be astounded. They will put their trust
in the Lord.”

Psalm 40: 1-3.

Waiting on the lord to respond to your cries is a sometimes long

and trying period. This, I believe is designed this way for a
reason; to teach us patience. This chapter is written for those
who have already sentenced themselves with guilt and now
consumed and confronted with depression. Depression is
demonic. It is the very battle for your mind, body, soul and
spirit. Depression occurs during that period of time that haunts
you just before you decide to do something stupid! It is very
different from guilt. In fact depression is urged on by the feeling
of guilt.

When I sank into depression it was a very different place to be.

Confused and disoriented most times, I often became
disillusioned with life and the Creator. Depression is a tool
designed and used by the enemy to slow your journey towards
fulfilling our purpose on the earth. I can say this because of my
experience. Although I had experienced all these tragedies, my
family still drew strength and encouragement from me. I hardly
cried publicly and for them this provided a wellspring of
encouragement to draw from but for me it stored a volcano of
feelings of depression and hurt that I know would soon erupt.
61
Depression usually set in when you are alone and there is no
activity to demand your concentration. I hardly had time to
grieve over Josiah because I still had to attend to his mother for
whom I harbored the hope that she would recover from the
coma. But after Vonelle’s funeral, after everyone went back to
their lives and the environment became ultra quiet at nights,
depression snuck into my life. I would drive throughout the
length and breadth of the country at nights to escape the
insomnia and depression but that didn’t work. I ended up
learning my country “by depression.”

An Angel in my midst!

I didn’t really comprehend why my mother returned to Trinidad

to be with me on receiving the news of my son’s death. At least I
thought that it was the emotionally right thing to do but as I write
this book now, I fully understand why her presence was made
available to me. My mother insisted that she stay with me at the
hospital during the days that Vonelle remained in the coma and
she did. My mother also stayed at my home with me even after
Vonelle’s burial and yet still I thought nothing special of these
gestures until now.

I realize that her presence in my space at these times were the

catalyst that prevented me from doing something really stupid to
myself. She was my guardian angel and although I didn’t speak
to her much during this period, her naturally caring and kind
heartedness towards me was very effective in my confronting
depression. I want to let you know that you cannot confront
depression on your own. You will need the assistance and
intervention of probably the next closest person to you after
your loved one whom you are grieving over.

What my mother provided for me was a shoulder to rest my

head upon, an ear, in fact both her ears for listening to me when

62
I did speak and her able hands for taking care of me; making
sure I ate and had clean clothes to wear. It is much easier to
confront and overcome depression when you can afford to focus
on the pain only. For me not having to worry about the stuff my
mother took care of for me made my load a lighter one to bear.

So how did I confront my depression? I faced the reality! When

it became abundantly clear that Vonelle and Josiah were not
coming back to me, except for the memories that I would hold
on to, I realized that I had to move on with my life. It made no
sense lying around wasting precious time and besides for me I
realized that my mother was now doing some of the things that
Vonelle did and she would not be able to do all things that
Vonelle did. This is when I decided to shake off the strongman
called depression and try to salvage what was left of my mind.

In order to confront depression and overcome it I did the

following:

1. I faced and accepted the reality that now existed.

2. I argued with the Lord (though not a smart thing to do, I did
it anyway).
3. I allowed my mother to get into my space (I opened myself
to receive help).
4. I waited patiently on the Lord.

I realized also that when we argue with the lord and wait
patiently on his reply he will answer. Believe it or not, it was
actually during my period of depression that this book began.
My thoughts and desire to share my experience was birth
alongside feelings of committing suicide and struggling with
depression. How happy I am today that I challenged the bull by
its horn and slew it!

63
 Question:
- Will it depress you more to call on the Lord?

Question:
- Are you patient enough to wait on his response? He usually
answers.

Question:
- Is there anyone else (a human being) that you can rely on?

Question:
- Why are you waiting to invite them into your space?

64
 CHAPTER 7:
LEARNING TO FORGIVE.
“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are
holding a grudge against, so that your Father in Heaven
will forgive your sins too. But if you do not forgive,
neither will your Father who is in Heaven forgive your sins.”

Mark 11: 25-26.

“You must make allowance for each other’s faults

and forgive the person who offends you. Remember the
Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

Colossians 3: 13.

“Resentment is like drinking poison and attempting to kill

others!”

Nelson Mandela.

In the original manuscript for this book, this chapter was written
for section five, The Important Stuff. However whilst preparing
the first draft, I was led to move this chapter into this section and
at this particular junction. I have always heard preachers and
other distinguished men of God lecture on the importance of
forgiveness and how necessary it is for people to forgive each
other.

If I had known better, I would have avoided wasting the mental,

emotional and spiritual time and resources I did by harboring
hate, resentment and un-forgiveness towards others. My humble
advice to you at this time is, whilst reading this chapter through
to the end, make a list of mental or written notes of all the
65
people you have an animosity against and remember the list, you
will have to forgive these persons if you are to seriously triumph
over grief and all its relatives.

Before I communicate to you my experience on this matter of

Learning to Forgive, I hope that you have noticed that this
chapter breaks from the traditions of all other chapters and
quotes two verses of scripture and a non-scriptural quote at the
beginning of the chapter instead of one. As I deliberated in
prayer on the two separate verses, the Holy Spirit would not
allow me to just choose one of the two verses and I was also
reminded of a remarkable quotation by Nelson Mandela I had
heard before and instead I am compelled to quote both verses
of scripture above and Mr. Mandela’s words because the issue
of forgiveness is a complex one with many scopes.

After going through the blame, shame, depression, rejection and

self-condemnation phases of grief, I had by now bankrolled a
huge savings of grudges in my heart against many people. I will
admit now that I held grudges against the medical staff of both
hospitals that attended to my family, against the leadership and
members from the church I attended, against Vonelle’s family
members and against other people of whom I expected to
receive more support from.

I confess to you with a pure heart, clean hands and clear

conscience that I have firstly ask for and received the forgiveness
of Almighty God and secondly I have forgiven everyone and
every system that I had held grudges against.

Whilst hurting, I was tempted on numerous occasions to consult

my lawyers to file a legal suit against the hospitals and the
Ministry of Health for malpractice. Indeed these feelings are
naturally expected of anyone grieving, trying to make sense of
such immense tragedy. I had to dig deep in my spiritual reserve

66
to call on God, asking him to deliver me from such temptations
of exacting revenge. Think about this, if I hadn’t ask for and gain
the ability to forgive, I might still have a legal battle ongoing in
the courts spending thousands of dollars to fight such a
revengeful cause and I would have not been able to spend much
time and money to produce this testimony for you to read.

I discovered that the key to truly overcoming my grief relied

solely on my ability to forgive everyone whom I now held in my
heart. Un-forgiveness is a disease that eats away at our existence.
It blocks the ability of God to communicate with us, to release
his blessings to us and to really shepherd us. Lacking forgiveness
in heart is a blockage that we simply cannot afford. Your
progress towards recovery can be seriously hampered if you
refuse to forgive others as I discovered.

It took me a long time to realize this truth about the application

of forgiveness to another. I spent months taking long drives at
nights, traversing around Trinidad, haunted by an uneasy mind
and troubled spirit. This period of torment ended at a medical
center in the east, having had to check myself in for
psychological and physical treatment, brought on from lack of
sleep and insufficient nutrition over a four month period. Four
months is a long time to waste and if I had known how precious
this time was, probably I would have forgiven everyone sooner. I
had bowed to the point where the baggage was too severe to
carry around anymore. I learnt the hard way that un-forgiveness
was indeed a very high price to pay in exchange for progress in
my life.

The largest percentage of the hate in my heart was held against

my then spiritual leader. I felt his absence to truly support me in
my time of need had cause me to lose all respect, love and
appreciation for him and the organization which he led and the
institution of church on a whole. Let me hasten to say that it is

67
very easy to find someone to blame, someone to apportion a
reason to blame for our hurts, pains and grief. In order to
produce this testimony to share with you, I had to forgive my
then leader for his treatment towards me, I forgave him for
intentionally or not intentionally holding me in his heart and
mind and I had to personally go and voice my disappointment
and hurt, sit at his feet and ask his forgiveness towards me. I also
had to forgive him in order to be set free from resentment and
activate the new start in my life and to be able to release this
book to you.

This was my most triumphant moment of my journey Through

the Valley and forgiveness proved to be the most important of
all the Lessons Learnt! Indeed if you are to overcome your grief
or for the very least, live through it, it is imperative that you
forgive those who have trespassed against you and to ask the
forgiveness of those whom you have trespassed against. As both
verses of scripture reveals to us; we cannot expect our Father in
Heaven to forgive our sins if we don’t forgive others and release
them from our hearts.

I intentionally quoted Nelson Mandela at the beginning of this

chapter. For me there is no other example of a living person
who can be attributed with the uttermost capacity to forgive
others. In fact, Mr. Mandela forgave his entire country and the
prejudiced regime that governed South Africa that imprisoned
him for some twenty seven odd years. He lamented that
“resentment is like drinking poison in attempting to kill others”.

I gather from this statement of this gentleman of iconic stature,

that to not forgive those who hurt us most is like ingesting a
poisonous substance (which would surely kill us) as a means to
kill someone else. It is therefore very important that we don’t
become vengeful terrorists committing suicide by harboring
resentment towards our fellow man. I learnt to forgive, so can

68
 you!

Question:
- Are you prepared to forgive your trespassers?

Question:
- Have you asked God to forgive those who have hurt you?

Question:
- Are you prepared to risk dying instead of choosing to forgive?

69
 SECTION FOUR

WHAT MAKES LIFE LIVING?

70
 CHAPTER 8:
FINDING LOVE ONCE.
“If I could speak in any language in heaven
or on earth but didn’t love others, I would only
be making meaningless noise like a clanging
cymbal.”

1 Corinthians 13:1

I found love once at a very young age, that love was the “Eros”
(erotic) type of love having not yet known the Christ as Lord and
Savior. I fell in love with Vonelle, whom I later married and in
whose honor this book is written. This love led me towards the
“Agape” love that I discovered when she introduced me to Jesus
Christ at age 18. This was an age when I was expected to be wild
and irresponsible and beginning to experience all the bad things
in life that lead to destruction but looking back on the last eight
years of my life, I realize that at this tender age was the moment
at which my life changed; for better.

Vonelle knew how to love people and she did just that, planting
the seed in the heart of many and allowing us to find the love
that she came on earth to share. Having lived all of her short life
with The Sickle Cell Disease (a blood disorder), she was always
privileged to receive special care and attention and it was from
this experience of receiving special attention that she learnt how
to find love in people.

Even I, having had the experience in caring for someone who at

times couldn’t help herself, discovered what love truly was and
what it was worth. We search for love in so much places and
from so many individuals that we develop scales over our eyes
that block our vision as to where love really resides.

71
I believe now and fully endorse the concept that those of us who
receive love are equally motivated to share love with others.
However I also believe that many of us look intensely for
reasons to share love with others when there really should be no
apparent reasoning to do so. In fact I believe the reason why
many of us never find a way to love is because we are to busy
receiving love that we become unaware that someone else needs
us.

Remember that it is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts

20:35). Sons loved by their Fathers grow to demonstrate the
loving relation they had with their dads towards their sons, etc. It
goes with saying that the good experience of an expression of
love provides the possibility that those on the receiving end will
carry out the same expression. A chain reaction of sorts, a trend,
that continues until fulfillment.

The love I found in Vonelle at age 18 was always one to be

honored and repaid. Love when found must always be
rewarded. You can’t say you love someone and not do
something for them, love is a verb – a doing word. It is not a
noun – a name. Because she introduced me to the love of Christ
I was able to love her in return.

I never had the bold outward expression of love shown from my

immediate family, we knew we loved each other but just didn’t
show it plainly and the fact that Vonelle loved me openly, so
much so that she shared her Lord with me, demonstrated the
true love that was in Christ Jesus. We married when I turned
twenty-two and Vonelle at twenty-four years of age and had the
privilege in further finding love in becoming pregnant with
Josiah, our late Son, for his nine months of fetal living.

When we find love in others it must not be confused for any

other emotion. It must be recognized for what it is. Be careful

72
 not to mistake someone’s attempt to impress you with true love.
True love is not always seen but it can be felt and appreciated.
Love is the only thing that will remain after everything else fades
away. It is the only factor that keeps our families together, keep
friends in love to each other and maintain loyalty in any camp
and camaraderie in any society. I pray that when you find love
you will protect and preserve it. It can prove to be the most
valuable asset that you can develop and invest in over the long
term.

Love is more valuable than a life insurance policy, because even

after you die the impact of your love in the lives of those who
found love in you will live on forever. When you find love you
will become a Legend. Just as Christ became the greatest legend.

Question:
- Have you ever found love in anyone?

Question:
- Can you say for sure that anyone has found love in you?

Question:
- Do you think you still have the capacity to love again?

73
 CHAPTER 9:
APPRICIATING PEOPLE.
“Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each
other; let us really show it by our actions. It is by
actions that we know we are living in truth, so we
will be confident when we stand before the Lord.”

1 John 3: 18 - 19

How often do we experience the loss of loved ones, friends or

colleagues? And after their deaths we often find ourselves in pits
of sadness and lack of fulfillment because we never expressed
physically or verbally, how much we truly appreciated that
individual. I have heard it said before that, “some people come
into our lives for reasons, some only for a season and others for
a lifetime lesson!”

My late Wife and Son were both Angels in my life, for reasons I
don’t yet understand, for a season I wished had never ended and
both leaving lifetime impacts with their presence. Although
Josiah (my late son) never breathe the oxygen of our
atmosphere, having being “still-birthed,” those of us who had a
role in nurturing him in his mother’s womb, knew without any
doubt that his cameo performance during the nine months of
his incubation, has left us all with a lifetime of memories and
appreciation. For me, I had the distinct and irreplaceable
experience of supporting Vonelle (my late wife) and taking care
of them both.

As husbands and men and also as fathers we are charged with

the responsibility of applying the full measure of appreciation
towards our family. Vonelle was indeed a gem to everyone who
knew her. Having close to five hundred people attend her
funeral service and interment was evidence enough that those
74
who knew her appreciated her and no doubt she had
appreciated everyone whom she had a friendship with.

When you appreciate someone, it requires that you add value to

his or her life. A lack of appreciation shown is called a
“depreciation or devaluation” as it is known in accounting
practices. Depreciating is the opposite of appreciation and
subtracts value, in fact, it is taking value from. As the opening
passage of scripture quotes: “let us stop saying we love each
other; let us show it by our actions.” Actions of appreciation
speak louder than words. Showing appreciation requires an
effort, a conscious effort; it also requires energy, more than just
the purchasing and presentation of gifts on special occasions and
holidays. It demands a selfless approach to honoring the person
that deserves it, with your love, commitment of time, your skills
and services.

I chose to be a spouse, companion, helper and friend. To be a

father and prophet, a priest and provider. A king and a
counselor and last but not least, I chose to be caring towards my
family. Failure to recognize and appreciate the people who
matter most to us can often result in some sort of disaster,
heartbreak or regret. The last thing I needed was to continue
living with a heart filled with regrets for every time I failed to
communicate my appreciation for Vonelle.

The Lord Himself had to deliver me from such feelings of

regret. I had to submerge myself totally in his love in order to
overcome. It is the only way I found a release. Even the people
that pass so quickly through our lives like my Son did, deserves
a significant level of appreciation.

Take the story that chronicles the life of Lot in the Holy Bible;
Genesis chapters twelve, thirteen, fourteen and nineteen. From

75
Lot’s humble association with Abraham his Kinsman, to the
destruction of his family in Sodom and Gomorrah,
demonstrated evidence of his lack of appreciation for his uncle
Abraham. Even after the visitations by the Angels passing
through the towns forewarning Lot of the impending
destruction, Lot’s wife showed total contempt for the
instructions not to turn back. This lack of appreciation resulted
in her death.

I infer then that the failure to appreciate the genuine instruction

from loved ones (not from selfish ambitioned individuals) can
lead to our demise. Having and showing appreciation must stem
from a spirit of self-less-ness. However, we must become
extremely careful; I can’t help but stress how imperatively; we
must not confuse appreciation for the worshiping of human
beings. This is called idolatry. We see it In the New Testament
(Acts 14), when Apostle Paul and his companion in ministry
Barnabas journeyed to the Towns of Lystra and Derbe. There
they activated the faith of a crippled man, enabling him to walk;
the crowd that gathered saw this miracle and immediately
likened the men to their Greek gods and attempted to sacrifice
animals unto them.

Paul in his eagerness to prevent the people from this act and
also in an attempt not to tempt God was quick to state that they
were both mortal beings like everyone else in the crowd and it
was God only who deserved the glory.

This being said, it is important that in the actions of appreciating

others; men and women of high offices, that we maintain the
balance in worship and adoration towards God. We must
remain cautious always of how affectionate we demonstrate our
affection to our spouses, friends, public personalities and our
men and women of God in Ministry.

76
 I encourage you to appreciate the contributions of those we
encounter throughout our lives; from the most important to the
least significant. There are rewards associated with such worthy
actions. It might be the transfer of wisdom, life lessons or even a
blessing or favor. Failure to appreciate may result in a
devaluation of oneself and others, leading to a lifetime or a long
period of regrets, depression, sadness, lack of fulfillment, lack of
motivation and in the case of Lot and his wife, a loss of life.

I hope that this chapter has added value to your level of

understanding in Apprecia
ppreciating
ting People.

Question:
- Who do you appreciate most in your life?

Question:
- Do you think you do enough to demonstrate your appreciation
to this person?

Question:
- How can you improve your demonstration of appreciation
towards this person?

77
 CHAPTER 10:
GREAT EXPECTANCY.
“What is faith? It is the confident assurance that
what we hope for is going to happen. It is the
evidence of things we cannot yet see. God gave
his approval to people in days of old because
of their faith.”

Hebrews 11: 1 – 2.

Living life without an expectation is useless! Moreover, having

little or no faith is just as bad. Without faith it is impossible to
please God (Heb. 11:6). In all of his wisdom, Heavenly Father
has given to us life, a scenario built with an expected end. A
Great Expectancy of rising again in Christ Jesus to be seated with
him in the Heavens when Christ returns for his believers. I
believe that each individual must have a hope in life. For me I
could live three to seven days without food and water but I know
that I cant live two seconds with hope!

When I got married, my greatest expectancy was that I would

grow old with my wife and father eight lovely children by her,
bringing each one up in the fear of God. Furthermore when she
became pregnant with Josiah our first, the expectation for him
was that he would become the Heir to the engineering firm we
had just started. I wanted him to be a superstar athlete, a
national footballer and I desired to give him all the benefits,
privileges and things that I did not have in my upbringing. More
than anything else I expected that he would grow to become and
accomplish more than I ever would.

What I did not expect, was having to bury both my Wife and
Son so soon into my great expectancy for our lives. I never took
78
the time out in all of my desires and fantasies, to enquire of God
what was his expectancy for their lives much less for mine. You
see, I have learned that the Greatest Expectancy one can have
for his or her life is the Expectancy that God has already
determined for it. I have now come to understand that our lives
are not ours to determine or to expect anything other than
God’s purpose for establishing us on the earth. I never expected
my marriage to last only one year and eight months, cut short by
death nor expecting to lose my first born son.

Finding our purpose for being born is probably the greatest

expectancy we should pursue. Forging our faith towards the
fulfillment of this expectancy is what I believe should be
paramount to us. Because I had so much expectancy towards
the family God gifted to me, I neglected to develop the things
that God expected me with. Don’t get me wrong, we have every
right to want the best for and of our loved ones, it is only natural.
Besides this we are to occupy the earth, which literally means to
work, doing God’s will until the coming of the lord.

What was extremely devastating for me was the fact that I now
believe that I had more expectancy in my Wife and Son than I
actually had in God. Having such lack of balance in faith in man
as opposed to faith in God has taught me such a heart wrenching
lesson.

I expected so much, I expected that my Wife and Son would

still be with me today, I expected that Vonelle would be healed
of the blood disease she was born with, I expected that Vonelle
would have gone on to give birth to seven more children for me,
I expected that she would become the Matriarch of our home,
the center of love and care to all our relatives, I expected to give
her all the material resources that would make a woman happy.

I expected that the members of the Church we attended would

79
 have demonstrated a greater appreciation towards us and really
been there when we needed them; I expected that the doctors
and nurses would not have let them both die. I expected to
boast of my son to my friends. I expected to take Josiah to the
Barber’s Saloon on weekends, teach and discipline him, guide
him along in academics and in sports.

With all of these expectations one can see why it was so easy for
my life to fall apart so rapidly after the passing of Vonelle and
Josiah Davis. As I write this page today, it is almost one year
since Josiah Died on April 23rd 2006, today is April 13th 2007
and as I look back now at the expectations I had for my life one
year ago and now I can truly acknowledge that God’s
Expectancy for me now, is the Greatest Expec
Expectancy I now Have.

Question:
- Can you list all the expectancies you have for yourself and for
your love ones?

Question:
- After listing the requirements of question one, are you confident
that these are the expectations that God has for your life?

Question:
- Can you identify the expectations that God has for you?

Question:
- Where is your faith?

Question:
- On whom or what does your hope rely?

80
 CHAPTER 11:
RESPECT AND HONOR.
“Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to
forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before
you grow old and no longer enjoy living…Yes,
remember your Creator now while you are young ,
before the silver cord of life snaps and the golden
bowl is broken. Don’t wait until the water jar is
smashed and the pulley broken at the well. For then
the dust will return to the earth and the spirit will
return to God who gave it .”

Ecclesiastes 12: 1, 6 – 7.

Out of all of the twelve commandments given to us, ten through

the law of Moses and the two By Jesus Christ himself, the only
one that has a promise attached to it is to “Honor thy Mother
and Father so that your days on the earth shall be long and go
well with you”, paraphrasing. Even in so doing one cannot
respect and honor another individual without first respecting and
honoring themselves.

Whilst in meditation devoted towards the revelations in this

chapter, I realized that this commandment concerning honor is
the only one that has a significant benefit towards us on this
earth. Having long life and a good one at that is the essence by
which we all desire to live. Why then does this commandment
carry such high value of reward? I believe that the human man
was created to dominate all other life forms on the earth except
another human being (1 Corinthians 9:27). Therefore whether
child or adult, it requires a phenomenal effort for a human
being to subject himself (both genders) to totally respect and
honor another human being. In fact I believe that this
requirement given by God to us is the ultimate test by which we
81
are measured in our ability to Respect and Honor God the
Father.

Again this measuring standard is spoken of again in the Bible

where it is asked “How can you say you love me who you cannot
see, yet you hate your brother whom you see”, paraphrasing
again.

To respect and honor someone demands a level of personal

humility and gratitude that unfortunately many of us don’t
display. I had a deep respect and honor for Vonelle and I can
write to you with the confidence that I knew she had the fullest
of respect and honor for me. I believe that Vonelle honored
every hair on my body just as any devoted wife should, I believe
that she did in fact see me as a type of Christ (the Husband)
loving her as he loves his church and bride (my Wife).

One of the most disappointing feelings one can endure is the

one of which you expect those that you respect and honor to
support you when you desperately need them to, in my case, I
had deposited so much respect and honor into a system that
didn’t bring the desired return on investment. I spent so much
time in devotion to the works as commissioned, that often times
I would neglect my very wife in whose honor this book is
written.

Respect and honor were due to Vonelle, if not to me also and to

not receive it was heartbreaking. I am no longer surprised at that
shortcoming because as Christ said to his disciples at the last
supper, “if the world persecutes you remember that it hated me
first.” Jesus Christ himself and the miracles he performed were
not even welcomed and he was without honor in his own home
town.
Now, I have no problem in showing the same level of devotion
towards men again, the only thing I would do differently is to

82
 accurately use the measuring standard given to us, which is the
capacity to respect and honor another human being and apply it
to my relationship with God the Father, even to a higher level.

As the opening scripture admonishes, we have to be careful and

guarded that we don’t let our focus shift from the honor and
respect of God. We are to ensure that from our youth we
demonstrate a level of honor that cannot and will not be
compromised, even in our darkest hours and in times of
despair.

Question:
- Name the human being you respect and honor most?

Question:
- Do you believe that the deposit of respect and honor is
appreciated?

Question:
- Can you be satisfied that God is pleased by the manner in which
you respect and honor his will for your life?

83
 CHAPTER 12:
EXPRESSION OF LOVE.
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or
boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand
its own way. Love is not irritable and it keeps no
record of when it has been wronged. It is never
glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth
wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is
always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.”

1 Corinthians 13: 4 – 7.

For me there is no other description ever written or recorded of

what Love is or what the Expression of Love is. Paul defines it
perfectly in 1 Corinthians 13 and it is by this model or standard
we should aspire to live by. I had spent so much time falling
short of this standard, hardly following this manual for
expressing my love to Vonelle when it really mattered; all the
time. I wish that the hands of time could be reset so that I could
be patient, kind, secure, humble and not rude. So that I could
be satisfied with my wife’s genuine effort to please me and not
become irritable when dissatisfied. I wish I could go back to
erase all the records I kept against her, all injustices ever
committed and to take back the lies I may have told during our
time together.

As for keeping faith and endurance, I thought now, that I did

demonstrate a fair bit, however it shown most at a time when
Vonelle was dying. It goes to say that “you never miss the water
until the well runs dry!” As I witnessed my friends, married and
unmarried, waste precious time hurting each other, some
deliberately offending each other, it pained me, knowing that I
too wasted time doing the same. If only they could see the pain,
hurt, resentment and regret I was now enduring. It took a
84
situation as drastic as losing my family, for me to realize that the
expression of love to someone else is probably the most
significant deed one can do. As I expressed in an earlier chapter,
Love is a verb and not a noun, it is a doing word and not a
naming word.

Despite my failure to always live by the standards as set forth by

Paul, I resolve within myself that Vonelle did. She would cook,
clean, wash, sew curtains and sheets, work professionally, listen
to my complains, support me in everything, all sometimes at her
own ambitions and desires. If she was fatigued, I still made
physical and sexual demands of her and she never complained
to me about it. What more expression of love could I have
asked for, what more?

Often times it becomes regular. Regular for us to not notice the

way those close to us express their love to us. For me the Kingly
treatment became so normal that I neglected to recognize the
significance of that level of love as was expressed towards me. I
now value all those deeds dearly; indeed, they are the memories
that drive and motivate me to share them with you. I know now
that we should never wait or postpone expressing how we feel
about our loved ones. It is now only after the water in the well
has run dry, that I realize how precious that commodity was.

For someone to overcome grief in the shortest possible time, it

helps tremendously to know that you are satisfied and justified
by the manner in which you existed with your loved one. This
feeling of knowing that your mate died assured that you really
loved them will help you more than you imagined. I had to
battle with doubt and questioned myself on numerous occasions
as to whether or not my wife knew of how much I loved her. I
learned that regret cannot save you; I’ll go further to say that
regret can kill you!

85
 The full expression of love can and should be seen as an
investment towards your mental and emotional future. Unless
you have already attained old age and you have concluded that
your days for companionship are over and you reside to enjoy
your grandchildren, then this lesson I learned is vital to you.
You see, when you are young like me, twenty-six years old at the
time I wrote this book, a “pension plan” is important to your
future existence. This “pension plan” is the peace of mind
gained from knowing that you did your best at expressing your
love to the now deceased. This assurance will aid you in time to
come as you seek and pursue loving someone again.

An Expression of Love is valid in the Past tense, it is valid at

Present and is essential for your Future, especially for
overcoming the grief and moving forward with the life that God
continues to grant.

Question:
- Are you justified that you expressed your love genuinely?

Question:
- Is their room for improvement?

Question:
- Can you recognize the love as expressed by others towards you?

86
 SECTION FIVE

THE IMPORTANT STUFF!

87
 CHAPTER 13:
I’M SORRY!

“Then if my people who are called by my name

will humble themselves and pray and turn from
their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will
forgive their sins and heal their land. I will listen to
every prayer made in this place, for I have chosen
this temple and set it apart to be my home forever.
My eyes and my heart will always be here.”

2 Chronicles 7: 14-15.

I’m Sorry is my way of making things right with everyone I’ve

ever wronged, those I remember and those who escape my
memory at this time. When you have reached to the point
where you are confident that you are well on the way to
recovery, then it becomes easy to repent to God for mistakes
made along the way as well as to apologize to everyone else who
have earned your trespass. This chapter as part of section five
constitutes the important stuff. Its important to say sorry when
we know we’re wrong and acknowledge that we may have done
things to deliberately harm others emotionally and otherwise.

I’m Sorry Vonelle, for failing in my responsibility to be the

protector that I was supposed to be as your husband. I realize
that I failed you by not being in the spiritual place that was
expected of me as the prophet, priest and king of our home. I’m
sorry for not being able to ensure the best possible health care
for you. I’m sorry that I wasted so much precious time arguing
and disagreeing with you on trivial matters, if only I can recall
these times and maximize it. I’m sorry.

I’m Sorry Josiah, for not being able to provide the best
opportunity for you to breathe the air of life. I’m sorry I didn’t
88
get to be a father to you, to teach and train you in the ways of the
Lord and to give you all the things you would have needed. I’m
sorry.

To My Apostle, I’m sorry I held hate in my heart towards you.

Although I have never used my lips or actions to encourage
anyone to leave your ministry, I understand that my decision to
leave has influenced an exodus of sorts and I am sorry for this.
I’m sorry.

To My In-Laws, I’m sorry for your losses in Vonelle and Josiah.

If I could bring back your daughter and her offspring I would
have done that a long time ago. I am sorry that I did not become
the son-in-law as was expected and I’m sorry that our
relationship was not always genuine in affections towards each
other.

To everyone else because of space for writing, I’m Sorry!

I’m Sorry – Composed by Akino Davis.

For all of the wrong things I have done, I am sorry,

If I ever trespassed against you, I am sorry,
If I ever hurt your feelings while you were around, I am sorry,
For all of the wrong things, yeah baby, I am sorry,

Cause I am sorry, cause I am sorry,

I apologize to you even though you are not here to accept it,
I am sorry whoa whoa, I am sorry yeah yeah,
Even though you’re not here…please forgive me…
So please forgive me…please forgive me…
For all of the wrong things I have done, I am sorry,
Please forgive me…baby please forgive me…
Even though you’re not here…I am sorry.

89
 Could have done many things different in my life
But all I use to think about was just me and I,
Could have done…things so differently…
but all I used to study was me,
Never took time out to appreciate…all the things you have done,
Always finding fault and criticizing you… that’s why I have to
now sing this song,

To tell you I’m sorry…to tell you I’m sorry,

Appreciation…and gratitude I want you to see…
I am sorry whoa whoa, I am sorry yeah yeah,
To tell you how I really really feel, please forgive me,

So please forgive me, whoa whoa,

Please forgive me, yeah, yeah,
Please forgive me whoa whoa…for every wrong thing I have
done against you,
I am sorry…

And even though, your not hear to appreciate what I sing,

I ask you from deep down inside,
To forgive me…yeah yeah…

So please forgive me, please forgive me,

For every wrong thing I have done please forgive me,

A sober melody…
I...
Rest in peace, I’m sorry.

Question:
- I was moved to apologize to the point where I composed a song,
have you come to the place where you are ready to apologize?

90
 Question:
- Have you retained that mental list of persons I asked you to
compose at the beginning of this chapter?

Question:
- Will you apologize to them now?

91
 CHAPTER 14:
WHAT MATTERS MOST?
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the
Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster,
to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29: 11.

There are two things that matters most in my life now, they are:

1. Forging a personal relationship with God and

2. Discovering fully and executing the expressed will of God
for my life.

However, it took me a while to discover these two important

disciplines for my life and I discovered the hard way What
Matters Most to us.

During the six years I spent going to church, I came to know a

lot about the works of God and how much blessings he had for
us but I had not known who God really was. I did not have a
personal relationship with my maker and that was exposed
during my period of crisis. As I write this chapter, I remember
reading in the scripture, Jesus saying in Luke chapter 13 verses
24 – 27:

“The Door is narrow. Work hard to get in, because many will
try to enter, but when the head of the house has locked the
door, it will be too late.” Then you will stand outside knocking
and pleading, “Lord, open the door for us!” but he will reply, “I
do not know you.” You will say, “But we ate and drank with you
and you taught in our streets.” And he will reply, “I tell you, I
don’t know you. Go away all who do evil.”
I had qualified as one of these evil doers Jesus referred to in
92
 Luke Chapter 13 above since I ate and drank in his presence,
went to church where his teachings were taught but I still did not
know who he was. I thought that by participating in the weekly
routine that I would automatically benefit from the grace that is
freely afforded to us that believe. It has taken me all of the past
year and a half to understand that having a personal relationship
with Christ the savior is the single most important thing anyone
should aspire to. Following this one should desire to discover
the expressed will of God for our lives on earth and passionately
pursue this purpose.

Amidst all the chaos, tragedy and grief that have past, I have now
come to understand the purpose for which I was born. Suddenly
now all things that I have lived through is now making sense to
me. I wondered why the Lord would have me experience such
pain at this young age, why I was able to stand strong and come
out with a testimony. I now realize that walking the path that
purpose would dictate I follow required that, life unraveled
exactly as it did for me. When I thought I had issues in my life,
it became clear that there were others who had worst problems
than I did and I had survived my ordeal for a reason; more
important than I could imagine and place a value on.

What should matter most to us in our lifetime should be in

living our lives with those we love to the fullest expression of
God’s will for us. My experience and your experience would be
in vain if we cannot discover what truly matters most and
maximizing on its warranty while we enjoy the company of those
whom God has graced our lives with.

Question:
- Have you discovered what matters most in your life?

Question:
- Do you have a personal relationship with God and if not are you

93
 ready to change that?

Question:
- Are you prepared to discover and execute the expressed will of
God for your life?

Question:
- Can you ask him to reveal his will to you now?

94
 CHAPTER 15:
WHEN PURPOSE CALLS.
“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved
these things or that I have reached perfection!
But I keep working toward that day when I will finally
be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me
to be. No dear brothers and sisters, I am still not
all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies
on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking
forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end
of the race and receive the prize for which God,
through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven.”

Philippians 3: 12-14.

There is one thing for sure, when purpose calls you can try to
hide from the calls, try to ignore it and even avoid the reality but
you will be arrested by it some day. And perhaps if you avoid
God’s privilege to fulfill purpose, Father God will raise up
someone else to inherit your purpose for being born.
Somewhere deep within myself I knew that this tragedy that
befell me had to have some special significance attached to the
experience.

At the time when I was grieving I was blinded from recognizing

that the call on my life was now apparent. A dear friend
lamented to me that when God himself calls you to work in the
harvest field you can’t hide. He went on to explain that by
occupying ourselves otherwise is likened to hiding behind a rock
but since God owned the earth, he can remove the rock from
shielding us and when that happens what will be our next move.

As far as an example of a man who defines the answer to the

purpose call on his life, I look up to Apostle Paul, who may be
95
considered to be the greatest of all Apostles. Paul, formerly Saul
of Tarsus was a murderer of believers in Jesus. He campaigned
relentlessly as a roman advocate against all those who believed in
Jesus as the Messiah, killing probably hundreds of people in his
campaign. In fact he was a feared man in his day, a biblical Bin
Laden if you may call him so.

But as Acts chapter nine details the conversion of Saul, on an

ordinary day in his life whilst traveling to Damascus to fulfill an
execution warrant, Saul was literally knocked off his “high
horse.” Jesus the Christ appeared before him and instantly he
was blinded by the Lord’s splendor and brilliance. My friends
when one has to be so violently arrested to answer the call of
purpose on our life, a dose of physical crippling usually follows.
Some may become blind like Saul did, others may get a limp
like Jacob suffered when he wrestled with the Lord and like me
I had to be humbled by the loss of my family.

I learnt that “all things work together for the good of those who
love God and are called according to his expressed will for our
lives,” to paraphrase the Bible scriptures, however when
swamped by our circumstances that purpose call is shielded
from our vision. Speaking of vision, I discovered that When
Purpose Calls the only vision that matters most, is God’s Vision
for our Life. Vision as I came to understand is the ability to see
the End before the Start, to see further than our natural eyes
could see! In other words, it is the ability to finish something
before you even begin the task. If I could have seen this stage of
my life twenty years ago I would have done everything possible
to avoid the life that followed me.

When I analyze how my purpose has followed me all along I

remain amazed at this mystery. To begin with, I’m a professional
in the construction industry specializing in Building Design and

96
Project Management. I recall not wanting to be a Civil Engineer,
my desire was to be a Mechanical Engineer to pursue a career in
our oil and gas industry in Trinidad and in fact Machine Shop
Craft was the only discipline I excelled at in school. I missed the
registration process to pursue mechanical engineering at tertiary
level and reluctantly enrolled in the civil engineering program,
where I excelled in and now make a living from Architectural
Design, Structural Detailing and Construction Management.

Why is all this history about my education necessary to explain

the call of purpose? If I may explain why, Architectural Design
and Structural Detailing is the process by which a house,
building or other structure is designed and the “blue print”
produced. In essence this process is actually completing the
building way before a price is attached to the project and before
the construction works begin. By now I hope that the picture is
becoming clearer to you now. You see I had absolutely no
influence or control over God’s Vision for my life. All along my
educational and professional path, I was being trained and
prepared for this moment in my life, a call to purpose which I
have now embraced and am willingly living.

I wish I could continue to paint the perfect picture of the

purpose call on our life. The truth however is that once you
decide to pursue your purpose you better make up your mind to
endure confusion, persecution and trials. I understood that I ran
the risk of being called disrespectful and a radical but by drawing
inspiration from Apostle Paul I press towards the prize of the
higher calling in Christ Jesus, respectful of the views of all men
but not prepared to become imprisoned to the opinion of
anyone regardless of their stature, designation or title. Paul
valued the opinions of Peter and the other Apostles but he did
not let them box him in from preaching the experience he had
and sharing the message to the Gentiles immediately after his
encounter with Jesus.

97
 I could go on and on but in the end I just really want to
encourage you to be vigilant and prepared When Purpose Calls.

Question:
- Are you ready to embrace God’s purpose for your Life?

Question:
- Do you understand the importance of your experience with
grief?

Question:
- Are you prepared to be chastised or criticized?

98
 CHAPTER 16:
STARTING YOUR JOURNEY.
Then Peter called to him “Lord, if it’s really you,
tell me to come to you by walking on water.”
“All right, come,” Jesus said. So Peter went over the
side of the boat and walked on the water toward
Jesus. But then when he looked around at the high
waves, he was terrified and began to sink.
“Save me, Lord!” he shouted. Instantly Jesus reached
out his hand and grabbed him. “you don’t have much
faith,” Jesus said. Why did you doubt me? And
when they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped.

Matthew 14: 28-32.

Starting anything is always the most difficult tasks for any

enterprise action. After all is said and done, after you have
braved the worst of the storms, you will be required to start your
journey out of the valley. This chapter is dedicated to the
individual who by now has triumphed over the grief and sorrows
that came with losing your love one. The journey back to sanity,
back to the real world, back towards fulfilling purpose and
destiny is one worth traveling. Whether or not you travel this
road alone is a decision you will have to make on your own. It
isn’t wise though as I learnt, to start your new journey with extra
or unnecessary baggage.

I remember reading a gospel fiction called “The Pilgrims

Progress” when I was younger. The story as I recalled,
chronicled the life of this fellow who set out on a journey into
the world. Along the way he engaged himself in all manners of
sinful acts and encountered all manners of evils and obstacles.
He had started on the straight and narrow but somehow ended
up walking the wide and winding path. At the end of himself he
99
turned back unto the straight and narrow approaching the cross
of grace his load began to fall from him. Now lighter and re-
focused, re-energized and delivered from the mire, the young
man returns to his original course and restarts his journey.

This story is pretty much what you may encounter as you start
your journey. Be prepared to encounter distractions along the
way. As I said before in a previous chapter: “to be forewarned is
to be forearmed.” My distraction to starting my journey and
completing this book came in the form of women. As I craved
comfort and love, I began to falsely engage the company of
women, some I knew and some I didn’t. No worse “kryptonite”
than what crippled superman in the comics. I thank one
particular lady though for being honest enough with me to tell
me to my face that my approach to recovery was not the right
approach and that I needed to seek guidance from God because
only He and not any woman could help me.

I thank God daily for this intervention from this lady whom I
had forged a personal relationship with. Our refusal to continue
an untimely relationship proved to be the most decisive turning
point for me along the journey to recovery. I was now able to
spend the desperate time with God and re-focus my energies
and emotions to seeking out his Love. I pray that like me your
life will be blessed with the intervention of someone with a
conscience and a genuine desire to see you through to the end.

Starting your journey requires great faith. The type of faith that
enabled Peter to walk on the water like Jesus did, the type of
faith that as small as a mustard seed will cast mountains into the
seas. I am truly happy today having started my journey and
though life is no longer what it used to be and void of the people
who I once built my existence to support, though the going has
been a tough one, I am satisfied and accomplished when I know
that my choice of a new direction in life contribute towards

100
 changing and influencing the lives of people, who can use my
experience as an example. In spite of all obstacles I now
approach life with a simple motto: What’s Next!

Your strength may not be in writing or singing just as I doubted I

was able to do but my faith in the experience that God has led
me through, has not prevented me from becoming an author
and from preparing to record a music album. I urge you to not
sit on your experience but to instead start on your journey!

Question:
- Is the road you are traveling on presently leading you along your
life’s true journey?

Question:
- Have you considered the effect your delay to start your journey
may have on those that depend on your experience?

Question:
- Why not change course if it’s not?

101
 CHAPTER 17:
FINDING LOVE AGAIN.
“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me.
Remain in my love. When you obey me, you remain
in my love, just as I obey my Father and remain in
his love. I have told you this so that you will be filled
with my joy. Yes your joy will overflow! I command
you to love each other in the same way that I love
you. And here is how to measure it – the greatest
love is shown when people lay down their lives for
their friends. You are my friends if you obey me,
I no longer call you servants, because a master doesn’t
confide in his servants. Now you are my friends, since
I have told you everything the Father has told me.”

John 3: 9-15.

I didn’t expect to fall in love again, so soon after losing my

family but I was literally and spiritually swept of my feet by Jesus.
It was love at second sight. Christ’s love which has always been
available to me was not my first choice when I set out to find
love again. The truth is, not too long after things had passed
over, I found myself in an ill timed relationship. As I mentioned
in an earlier chapter, I was blessed enough that I had been
advised by my friend at the time that a relationship with her was
the wrong medium for receiving the comfort that I needed. Any
normal woman would not so easily step out of the relationship
but God bless her heart continuously because this unselfish
action and with her plutonic total support as my friend, I found
the refreshing embrace of God’s Love again.

You would realize after reading the first paragraph, that the love
I found again was indeed a spiritual one. It was the saving grace
of God to me that has kept me until now, forgiving me for the
102
many mistakes I’ve made along the way and guiding me in every
decision necessary to make improvements in my life. I
recognized that I was indeed loved of God, because his Son, our
Lord Jesus the Christ, has told me through the Holy Bible, all
the secrets of his Father in Heaven. Jesus had laid down his life
for me and as such I was his friend and did not even recognize
it. Not knowing who he really was had really disadvantaged me
from the benefits of his love.

I found myself in almost the same position as Christ did when

he hung on the cross; laying down my life for my friends. Indeed
this is what I do having accepted this challenge to share with you
my experience and my life for the past two years. I now find
myself loving you so much that I’m driven to share my
experience with you, that you may be able to escape the
darkness that follows losing a loved one and that you continue to
quickly be healed and live as God would desire of you.

You too will find love again, whether it be human or of divinity

that is unknown to me. What I know is that the divine will
comfort and heal you from your pain in a permanent way as
opposed to the human intervention which will only offer a
temporary escape but surely you will find yourself searching
again. It is important to take time out after losing your loved
ones to thank God for the life that he continues to grant you.
Another thing I learned was that when I thought I had
problems, there is always someone else with a bigger problem
than mine.

You will need to decide how quickly you will chase after love
again. When you find love again though, it will be even more
refreshing than the love you had for the one you are grieving
over. All this sentiment about God’s love to me doesn’t mean
that I have given up on finding love from another woman. Far
from it, I desire a female’s love again. My marriage was fabulous

103
and for what it was worth I want to experience it all over again.
In fact there many women and men that may fill our hearts again
but as I learned prior, when you go looking on your own
(without God) for a spouse, only one thing is waiting to be
found; TROUBLE! I therefore choose to wait for love to find
me just as it did before and you to should wait also.

You shouldn’t think that finding love again is besides you, in fact
because you are now on the receiving end of pity, sympathies
and condolences, you now become a magnet, attracting all sorts
of people who will throw themselves at you, some intentionally
and others not. I spent the greater part of the last two years
warding off and avoiding becoming engaged with women just
because I didn’t want to invite trouble in my life and thwart the
works of God in my life. Some women have called me hermit,
gay, confused and a host of other names in their frustration at
me not falling for their advances.

I now have the privilege to choose my spouse carefully and it is a

privilege I embrace because I now value the Love of God so
much that finding a woman who will value God’s Love also as
much as I do is critical to both our purposes. The person, whom
you will love again, will have no issue with you treasuring the
memories of your deceased or departed, instead they too will
value those memories because they will understand that your
experience in life has divine a purpose attached to it.

I urge you then that when time is right; go after finding love
again it is what your “lost” one would want for you. While alive,
Vonelle and I would often comfort each other by telling each
other that we would be okay without each other when death
called either of us. Both she and I would also command each
other that we should find another who would love and treat us in
the same manner or better than we did treat and love each
other. This is my confidence in finding a spouse again. I no

104
 longer have to battle with the guilty feeling anymore or worry
about what people would say if I suddenly moved on with my
life.

Many have questioned why I have not started dating again with
some believing that I am doing so in secret, well after two years I
don’t have a spouse yet but I believe this is all by divine design.
There is nothing wrong with moving on with your life, albeit
when the timing is right. In fact it is the best recommendation
for some people to do so. For me I recognize that I am now
called to work as a laborer in the field which is now ripe with
crop for harvesting, the crop reading this book, the crop that is
yet to accept that it is okay and possible to find love again; a
work for which workers are few and some even overwhelmed by
the task at hand.

I therefore encourage you to pursue Finding Love Again, always

trusting in and relying on God, who gives grace that will allow us
to make the correct decisions as we continue living after losing
our loved ones.

Question:
- Are you interested in Finding Love Again?

Question:
- Are you prepared to allow God to lead you on your search?

Question:
- Do the opinions of everyone else matter most to you or are you
willing to trust and follow the leading of your heart?

Question:
- What do you think will make your Lost Love “smile in their
graves?”

105
 Question:
- Are you moping around wasting time mourning or are you
picking up the pieces and moving on with your life?

106
 CHAPTER 18:
TESTIFYING.
Afterward Jesus returned to Jerusalem for one
of the Jewish holy days. Inside the city near the
Sheep Gate, was the pool of Bethesda, with
five covered porches. Crowds of sick people – blind,
lame or paralyzed – lay on the porches. One of the
men lying there had been sick for thirty-eight years.
When Jesus saw him and knew how long he had been
ill, he asked him, “Would you like to get well?”

“I can’t sir,” the sick man said, “for I have no one

to help me into the pool when the water is stirred up.
While I am trying to get there, someone else always
gets in ahead of me.” Jesus told him, “Stand up,
pick up your sleeping mat, and walk!”

Instantly, the man was healed! He rolled up the

mat and Began walking! But this miracle happened
on the Sabbath day. So the Jewish leaders objected.
They said to the man who was cured, “You can’t
work on the Sabbath! It’s illegal to carry that sleeping
mat!” He replied, “The man who healed me said
to me, ‘Pick up your sleeping mat and walk.’”

“Who said such a thing as that?” they demanded.

The man didn’t know, for Jesus had disappeared into
the crowd. But afterward Jesus found him in the
Temple and told him, “Now you are well; so stop
sinning, or something even worse may happen to you.”
Then the man went to find the Jewish leaders and
told them it was Jesus who had healed him.
John 5: 1-15.

107
Friends, there can be no testimony without an experience! John
chapter five verses one to fifteen defines me! It’s my life as plain
and straight forward as it could be at least the last two years of it.
Everything written in the past seventeen chapters have been
written to explain the significance of this chapter. When I
recognized that the pain of losing my new family was no longer
devastating, when I became healed as the lame man Jesus
encountered at the well, I knew I would have to testify of the
account. Testifying though doesn’t come naturally. It follows a
process of refinement and tribulation, having to confront your
fears of communicating and facing judgment from others will
most certainly cause you to think twice of sharing your
testimony.

Like the lame man in John chapter fifteen, I had endured

interrogations from family, friends and apparent foes about my
miraculous recovery from grief. More than miraculous to me
recovery was but it was also somewhat comprehensive. I had a
clear understanding from early on that my family was not
coming back to me, Vonelle didn’t go to the office to return and
Josiah wasn’t waiting to be picked up at the nursery. I
understood that the only hope I had of seeing them was in the
“sweet by and by.” Never the less though I didn’t allow cynics to
stop me and like the lame man was now healed I now move on
with my life by sharing this account with you.

When you testify about your situation, be prepared to face the

leaders or other people who will seek to discredit your testimony
simply because they may not have influenced your development.
You will also encounter people who will seek to capitalize
negatively on your testimony. Ask God to help you identify
these unscrupulous men and women before they too end up
causing you grief. Don’t be discouraged though, if indeed your
effort to share your experience is genuine, it will survive the
persecution.

108
 This book made it to print for several reasons, they are:

1. I knew this experience I had wasn’t mine to sit on selfishly. I

had resolved in my heart that I had to now “lay my life down
for my friends” because I loved them.

2. I had become motivated to influence the change in the life

of anyone else who has a difficulty confronting and
recovering from grief.

3. My ambition to share with you the account of my recent life

is an honest and genuine one.

4. I was delivered from seeking the approval of men but rather

had learned that men can only provide confirmation of what
God had already moved me to do.

Testifying is now the most fulfilling path my life has traveled. I

now find solace and joy in knowing that my experience will help
people. Don’t sit around after you have been made well, get up!
Sin no more and go tell the people that you have been healed.

Continuing in sin as Jesus warned the lame man, as it applies to

us now is the one thing that can render our healing ineffective. It
is imperative then for us to lead clean lives in order to make our
testimony truthful and effective. Be encouraged.

Question:
- Are you ready to testify?

Question:
- What is holding you back?

109
 AFTERWORD.
“As for me, my life has already been poured out
as an offering to God. The time of my death is
near. I have fought a good fight, I have finished
the race and I have remained faithful. And now
the prize awaits me – the crown of righteousness
that the Lord, righteous Judge, will give me on
that great day of his return. And the prize is not
just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to
his glorious return.”

2 Timothy 4: 6 – 8.

I have finished my course, I have run the race well and it is

indeed a bitter-sweet moment for me to inform you that this
book, my journey Through the Valley…And Lessons Learnt, A
with Death, Autobiography – Volume
life Changing Experience with
1 has ended.

I thank you for taking from your resources to obtain this book,
the time and effort dedicated to read its content and I pray for
your complete restoration in body, soul and spirit. That God
through his Son Jesus the Christ will love you like you have
never experienced, that along with the presence of The Holy
Spirit will lead you along your journey Through the Valley…And
Lessons Learnt along the way will cause you to be blessed and
become a blessing to everyone else.

AMEN.

Akino Davis
Yours truly

110
 UPCOMING WORKS.

The Intensive Care Series is continuous outreach via Kingdom

Coaching Company (Publishing, Coaching Seminars and iRadio
Broadcasting). While writing this book I realize that God
continues to grace me with some intelligence and have allowed
me to begin work on some new projects. It has become my
desire to continue writing, singing, broadcasting, lecturing and
narrating, in the hope that men, women and children will adopt
the Kingdom way of life on Earth as Christ lived by the example
of his very life on earth.

Here is a preview of the upcoming works soon to be released

through Kingdom Coaching Company. Continue to visit our
website (www.kingdomcoach.9f.com) for future and further
updates.

Audio Edition Release on Compact Disc. Full Version

of Print Edition made available for the individual
whose lifestyle won’t accommodate for regular reading
time. Listen at home, in the car or at the office and be
blessed!

For those already in business and those wanting to

start a business. This book will be made available in
print, audio and a downloadable eBook. It is ideally
suited to anyone with a desire for business. Learn how
charitable principles, simple organization and
discipline can guarantee your business start-up and
survival and ensure future rewards.
Written specifically for persons aspiring to live at a
respectable standard of life; having all things at all
times. This book chronicles how Akino’s early life in
poverty changed and shares some principles learned
along the way. This book will truly challenge you to
Change Your Circumstance!
111
Today’s Leader is a revolutionary outlook of what it
takes to be a Leader in today’s world. Learn how to
influence and impact your environment, influence
your sphere, motivate followers and implement
succession planning.

Before And After Marriage is a revelation and guide

for couples courting and aspiring for marriage.
Guaranteed to help you recognize and choose your
spouse, a decision you should make and not regret!
Researched and compiled from the Author’s own
experience of life before and after marriage and from
interviews obtained from friends, family and strangers
living either secular or spiritual ways of life.

112
 The Intensive Care Outreach Series:
THROUGH THE VALLEY…AND LESSONS LEARNT!
A life Changing Encounter with Death – Autobiography Volume 1.

A book to truly transform your life! In my search for answers and comfort
after my wife and son died, God has blessed me with a tremendous outpouring
of his Knowledge and Love. It is this Heavenly Wisdom that answered my
questions and healed me from the grief that ate me from within. There is a
special blessing within each section, each chapter and on each page to truly
heal and deliver the grief stricken and broken hearted. As you read this
account, expect to be set free from the clutches of grief and be motivated to
continue living as God desires you.
Akino Davis.
Authors Profile:

Akino Davis is the third of five children born of

Alston Davis and Gloria Wilson-Thomas and is a
qualified Civil Engineering Project Manager and
the Managing Director and owner of several
businesses in Trinidad and Tobago. A charitable
young man, Akino has co- founded and is
actively serving as the Director of the Diego
Martin Secondary Student and Sporting
Management Association.

A widower and proud father of one (deceased Josiah Davis) Akino has now
gone on to establish The Kingdom Coaching Company through which he
will continue to produce books, music albums, conduct live seminars and
coaching sessions for communicating and addressing the issues that confront so
many people as individuals and business participants.
About The Kingdom Coaching Company:
The Kingdom Coaching Company which includes three (3) core areas of
delivery; Publishing, Coaching Seminars and iRadio (live internet radio
broadcasting in development) was born from the wilderness experience of the
past two years and is focused to communicate and counsel with all peoples
concerning every aspect of life on Earth. This media outreach incorporates
print, broadcast, live seminars and web based avenues to promote the well
being and edification of mankind.

ISBN 978 – 976 – 8211 – 96 – 5

113