Real.

Real. That’s what God is. That’s what the people are who wrote these stories. That’s
what the stories themselves are.
We realize that many do not believe God is real. We recognize that the stereotype of
Christians is that they are not real. We know that when Christians speak about what hap-
pened to make them believe it all too often comes out in a “Christian - speak” that is
impenetrable to all but fellow believers.
So we asked the people of Lake Samm to tell us what happened to them in their lives
to make them believe that Jesus really is real, and that He really is God desiring to live life
with us. We asked them to get real.
Some of the stories are gruesome; some of them reveal embarrassing details. Some
of them will parallel your story, some will not. But all of these stories are people getting
real with you in a vulnerable and transparent way so that you can see how real their life
transforming experiences really are.
This is our gift to you, whether you know the Lord or not. In these pages you will find
amazing stories from ordinary people in whom God has done extraordinary things.
Enjoy. Be uplifted. And if you ever want to tell us your story, we can’t wait to hear.
With thanks to those who wrote them, and love for those who read them,

−− Curt & Julie Brunk

Contents

Is God Real? - page 2

Life is Hard - page 49
God Gives Strength - page 70
God fills the deepest Need - page 73
God Moments - page 80

1
Is God Real
He Listened
I was living in Vail, Colorado, with my girlfriend. My Aunt had said, “Don’t just live to-
gether. Relationships are too hard. The good thing in your relationship might not happen
as it was supposed to.”
So after 3 months, we needed to do something. Didn’t know what. Not being believers,
it occurred to us that the only one who would care if He were there was God. So I grabbed
my girlfriend’s hand and said, “Lord, if you’re there, would you please see us married?”
I got saved because to my great surprise, I felt someone listening. In other words, I knew
for the first time, He was real. From then, I started reading the Bible, didn’t know what else
to do, and going on long walks talking to Him.
That was 34 years ago. My life was utterly changed. Every day, I still read the Bible
and talk to Him. He just keeps revealing more and more of Himself to me in ways that are
amazing. How could I not love a God like that?!

−− CB

Something Stirred
It started two years ago, when my Dad was in the hospital with blood clots in his brain.
He wasn’t doing well. People who weren’t that close to us and people that were sent cards
and prayers to my family. My Dad lived.
A few months later, our lives seemed to be back to normal. For me, that meant my social
life, friends, boys, and pretending I was a lot cooler than I really was. Something stirred in
my heart when my Dad was in the hospital but I ignored it. The very next year, there we
were back in the same position again. My Dad was on death’s door.
This time when something stirred inside, I paid attention to it. I started attending youth
group with my friends. In June of last year, I committed my life to Jesus. I’ve learned that
life isn’t about how cool you are or if you’re currently dating, but about sharing the love of
Jesus Christ.

−− HW

2
Purpose of Life
Among other things, I had a very rational, scientific mind. The best of science and ratio-
nal thought could not answer the questions that I had about the purpose of life, the origins
of the universe and my destiny, let alone the destiny of mankind.
Then a friend introduced me to Christ and challenged me to read the Bible. The word
of God answered my questions. I learned that God is the “Alpha and the Omega… that all
things were made through Him… and in Him we live and move and have our being.”
Upon getting to know Christ, everything started to make sense and I started to find real
joy in life.

−− M.J.

God Is Bigger Than You Know

I was having a hard time breathing. My chest hurt. I was scared. I thought I was dying.
My world was crumbling down around me. My guard dog was gone. She was my protector.
I felt lost without her. My husband had just been admitted to the hospital with heart rhythm
problems.
I had nothing to hold onto… nothing to put my trust in. That’s when the panic attacks
started. I thought about going to the ER and getting drugs. My husband suggested I call
our Pastor’s wife and have her come pray with me. I thought that was a far out idea but also
remembered the pastor talking about how God is bigger than I know.
I wondered if maybe something might happen if I prayed so I called the pastor’s wife.
I paced the floor waiting for her to arrive. I heard a knock on the door and opened it. We
didn’t say anything to each other. We walked to the couch and sat down together facing
each other. I said, “God I can’t live this way, please help me!”
Before I could finish speaking, God’s presence enveloped me. I felt a peace I had never
known. My breathing became regular. The fear and anxiety I had been fighting was gone. I
met a God bigger than I knew. I met a God bigger than my circumstances. I met someone
I could trust. That was the best day of my life —the day I met God for real.

−− SH

The Prodigal Son Returns

I accepted Christ at a very young age. I was around 9 or 10. Things were great for the
rest of my childhood. I was so in love with Christ. It’s important to know I was raised in a
very loving, Christian home with a family that raised me the correct way.

3
 A big change happened at 12 years old. My family moved and this country boy was
exposed to the city. And wow, did rebellion take control of me. Through high school I
wasn’t a bad kid, but I also didn’t share the then dimming light of Christ with my friends,

“
and believe me, that’s a thorn in my side even today.
You can never fall so far I get tears thinking about them and all the chances
away that Jesus won’t come I lost. Thank God most of them are still here. And
and find His lost sheep almost all know what I believe. I give great praise to
God for that.
After high school, this stubborn boy turned into something that wasn’t me (or what I was
supposed to be). I call my 20s the tour of Babylon. If the sin exists, I did it: sex, drugs, you
name it. I say this with no pride. It’s not a place I would wish on anyone.
A moment that sticks out in my mind is sticking a needle in my arm, trying to overdose
and waking up on the floor hours later. Looking in the mirror and at that moment, I was
delivered from the bondage of meth. At the time I thought it was in my own strength. But as
I’ve started my walk back to my true love, I know with all my being it was God in His grace,
love and mercy that just stopped it.
Many other things have happened to grow me. I guess the biggest truths in my story
are, you can never fall so far away that Jesus won’t come and find His lost sheep. And to
parents, family and friends that may have a family member walking this path: Never give up!
Pray and count on God’s promises, because He will bring them back. The prodigal sons
and daughters will return. And I am proof of that.

−− CM

True Genuine Care

I grew up believing that there was something out there bigger than myself, but frankly, I
didn’t care to understand what that thing was or how it pertained to me. I knew Christians
and even went to Church a few times with some of them, but the ones I knew lived radically
different lives than what they proclaimed and taught. How could I be a part of something I
considered fake and hypocritical?
It wasn’t until my first year of college that Christianity was put in a different light for me. I
was “randomly” placed with roommates that happened to be Christian, and seeing the way
that they lived throughout the year changed my mind about Christianity.
I can’t fully express in words the true genuine care that I received from them. Their
actions eventually prompted me to listen to what they had to say about Jesus. I discovered
that Christianity wasn’t at all what I thought —God wanted a relationship with me, possible
because of Christ; it wasn’t about being good! This revelation changed me inside and out.

4
 I accepted Jesus as my savior and soon after, my goals in life changed, leading to a
change in my major and completely different priorities. Burdens were lifted from me as I
was able to more effectively deal with stress, putting a halt on an eating disorder which
allowed me to drop to a healthy weight.
I realized that my life had purpose, and began to work to serve Him and others with my
time and energy. Forever I am changed, and I thank God for showing Himself to me through
those roommates.

−− SM

Search for truth

I was 32 and a second-year law student when the struggles of that academic challenge
caused me —one who had drifted away from my childhood religious faith —to conclude for
a time that there was no God.
It didn’t last long because the uncertainty of unbelief with no explanation for the source
of life was worse than the uncertainty of a belief in God I could not understand. That un-
certainty brought me into a search for truth that headed me back to the last certainty I
remembered, the Christian Church.
My exploration led to the discovery on an intellectual level of the meaning of what
Christ had done for me. I thought I had resumed my life as a Christian abandoned after
childhood.
I had an older brother who at a young age received a call into the ministry, but by the end
of seminary rejected God. I would argue with him about belief and always lose the argu-
ment. He was better educated and smarter than me. He had a Ph.D. in English literature
and was a true anglophile.
I had read in my studies a book by John Stott, an English theologian, by the title “Basic
Christianity.” He was coming to speak locally so I invited my atheist brother to join me for
the occasion, hoping he would be persuaded to accept God.
In preparation for this event, I was re-reading “Basic Christianity.” In the chapter on
the crucifixion, it described in detail what they had done to Jesus. Something miraculous
happened to me that defied intellect or common sense. I suddenly knew that Jesus had
died for me.
From that moment on, I came to understand what Christians meant when they talked
about a personal relationship with Jesus. I knew at that moment that Jesus would have
died for me even if I was the only one. His love for me was that great. This began a walk
with Him for the rest of my life.

−− J
5
Transformed
Christ has had so much Grace on me. He’s kept me from walking down a dark path
toward a life separate from Him. Although I grew up in the church, serving, worshiping,
loving as a Christian I had such an non-genuine faith. I didn’t know scripture and had no
desire to. Then Jesus touched my life through Bible Teaching.
I worked at a mattress factory in Spokane, Washington and began to listen to a radio
station called Calvary Sattellite Network. It felt like I was hearing a new story every time I
turned it on. Pastors would teach God’s word in such a real way. My life started to change
and be transformed by the word of God. I remember one day hearing a challenge from a
pastor to examine yourself and see if there may be a drastic change that needed to take
place to draw closer to Christ. My drastic change was moving away from Spokane, from
the life I was living in complacency and seek vision at Bible School. I did and my life has
never been the same.

−− B

Lost and wandering

I was in school in the late ‘70s at North Seattle Community College taking music classes.
I was feeling very lost, wandering through life trying to find some meaning and purpose.
A friend from elementary school who happened to be at the same college invited me to
a concert; he was the drummer in the band. The concert was at a church. I went that night,
and when invited forward for the alter call, I popped out of my chair and walked up front to
receive Christ.
My understanding of God changed that night from a view of an impersonal energy force
who holds the universe together, to a God who loves me personally and wants to meet me
where I am today, and take me to new places I have never been.

−− DI

Music moves the heart

I believed there was a God because my family went to the Latter Day Saints Church for
a while but we had become inactive. I was pretty caught up in the High School social life
—partying mostly, working some, and not really applying myself to anything!
My oldest stepbrother, Jeff, had become a Christian after a tragic, near fatal motor cross
crash. I didn’t live with him or know him well. What I did know was that this previously quiet
guy was suddenly full of life and buying my sister and I Christian music. This made me
curious and was the first emotional touch God made.
6
 Along with my folks, we started checking out his church. The contemporary worship
was the second emotional touch —a second “pluck” on the strings of my life. I wanted to
get involved —not in a “give my life” way, but signed up for the choir program and met the
youth pastor, who quickly realized I wasn’t a Christian. He invited me to lunch, which was
surprising because this was a huge church and I had heard him speak to thousands. Why

“
would he want to make time for me?
At lunch, he shared the 4 steps of God’s plan with This previously quiet guy
no pressure, just giving the good news. It was like was suddenly full of life
fresh water to me, new and unlike anything I had heard
before. Two weeks later I had decided to make my decision, coincidentally the same night
as a speaker was speaking on the occult and Mormonism came to that church. (Part of me
probably wanted to make sure this wasn’t more of the same thing I had experienced in the
Latter Day Saints Church.)
I went forward to make my decision for Christ public, and as I came out of the prayer
room two things overwhelmed me: 1) The mob of people that came up to me to tell me
they had been praying for me. I thought, “How could this many people care about me that
much?” and 2) I turned around to see my Mom and Dad coming out of the prayer room as
well (they had arrived at the church separately) having made the same decision.
God really fulfilled his promise of “you and your household will be saved” that day in my
family.

−− MI

The Hand of God

Defining an exact moment in my life where I chose to give Jesus my life is hard for me. I
grew up in a family where God was the center. Because of this, I didn’t question Christian-
ity much. But as I have experienced life, met people completely different from me, visited
other cultures, lived in loneliness, and then found Jesus’ love…I don’t ever wish I lived a
different way.
It has been a journey for me and I know it isn’t even close to being over. This has
become a life decision for me. At the age of 22, I can see how God’s hand has been on my
life and how I can live to who I was really created to be.

−− B

7
I Became New
I ran. I fell away. I was raised in a Christian home. I accepted Christ at a young age. I
became used to “faith” and never really made my faith my own. I struggled for years about
God’s reality and He never became real enough for me to build my life around Him. I fell into
sin and despair. I was miserable. The anger I felt took away my passion for God, though I
never admitted it to anyone.
As I ran, I became tired. I gave up. God found me where I was. I had been lost in sin
and then I realized that my life did not make sense without God. I began to pray for a
transformation and the way that Jesus overwhelmed me with His love has not stopped to
this day.
He revealed to me how overjoyed He was to know me and how important I was to Him
despite how small I was in comparison to Him. I turned from living by myself and instead
leaned on Jesus to take my burdens of this life. It has given me unspeakable joy in this life
and a certain hope in the life to come. God pursued me, and when my wayward heart found
Him, I became new.

−− Anonymous

Believing
Suffering drove me to cry out to the God I have believed in for 35 years. I had to go from
believing IN Him (believing He is there) to believing HIM. I have come to believe that He is
who He says He is, He can do (and still does) all that He says He can do.
I have come to know He is not just THERE; He is ALIVE, LIVING, ACTIVE and still SPEAK-
ING. I have found this to be a true statement: “You will seek me and you will find me when
you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13) He does reward those who seek Him: the
reward is that He will allow Himself to be found. (Hebrews 11:6)
He is no uninterested observer, no distant force, no receding or failing light, no fading
hope. He is as He has always been: Alive, Active, Loving, Real, Present, In Control.
I have decided to believe Him for the whole of it: Everything He says, all that He’s prom-
ised, everywhere He leads. You might call it a conversion in one already a believer, or a
deepening of faith.

−− Anonymous

8
Christ is the fulfillment of many prophesies
From the time I was a very little girl, I was in Sunday school memorizing the scriptures
and learning the truths of God from the Bible.
(When I was) 7 years old, my aunt was running a Child Evangelism Bible Club in her
home. She offered Christ to me as the Savior who had taken the punishment for my sins,
and if I received Him I would have eternal life.
Because I knew what the Bible said, it was easy as a child to receive Christ.
In my desire to share Christ and His love, I have studied other religions’ faiths over the
years to be able to witness to those whose faith was not in the God and Christ of the Bible.
It has always taught me that the Word of God is true and can be trusted fully.
My studies have revealed Christ is historically documented and He has fulfilled all the
prophecies that were prophesied about them. That is amazing to me and the statistics of
all these prophecies coming to pass is almost impossible, but Christ came and fulfilled
them ALL.

−− MM

God changes lives

On Easter Sunday 1980, my sister Shawn gave her life to Jesus. Ever since then my life
was changed. My sister was so excited to see the changes in her life that she wanted me
to have the same experience.
Shawn is a prayer warrior and she prayed for me every day. She called me every day
and wanted to talk about Jesus all the time. We had many difficult conversations because I
was extremely stubborn. I needed answers and she really didn’t have the ones I was asking
for. Time wore on and I realized she had really changed.
About 7 yrs later, we were still talking about it all and I finally had enough of the pain in
my life to start to listen to her. I did not understand a lot of what she was talking about, but
I started to want to change too. Ever since our Mom left us when I was 7, I had felt empty
inside. I spent much of my life trying to fill that space.
My good friend Jessica started to ask me to come to church with her. I used to say,
“No thank you,” but this time when she asked, I said, “Yes.” I had no idea what it would
be like so I went the night before alone to check it out. It was Eastside Foursquare Church
and Jerry Cook was preaching. He talked about a better way to live life. He talked about
peace. He talked about Jesus loving me. The light bulb went on inside my head and I knew
I wanted this new life.
I was still conflicted because I was in the middle of getting divorced, had a little boy, and
my life wasn’t all wrapped up in a neat little package yet. The Pastor said Jesus wants you
to come as you are, surrender your life over to Jesus and He will make you clean.
9
 So I did. I was 34. (It was) September 10, 1989. My life now makes sense. I am forever
changed.

−− CM

Solid Rock
I was 19 years old. I was a new recruit in the United States Navy. It was 1979. My life
was exciting and I was willing to try new things. A girl came into the barracks lounge to ask
if anyone wanted to join her in a bible study group. Because several of the girls joined, I
followed along.
Someone explained that Christ was the bridge that filled the gap between man and
God. I was too proud to accept Christ on the spot, but 10 minutes later, in my car, I asked
the Lord into my heart.
The following few bible study meetings, I wrestled through God’s humanity and was
willing to be overwhelmingly convinced that our Savior was a human and that He was divine
and that He was Abba, Daddy and worthy of my trust.
That decision was so profound that I have never wavered. For 30 years, I have been
solid and profess to others the solid rock of Christ.

−− NM

From Religion to Relationship

Growing up, my family was like many families in the ‘50s and ‘60s. It was one that worked
hard during the week and then on Sunday morning went to church as a family. As I reached
my late teen years in the “turbulent,” “Free Love,” “Anti-War” ‘60s (yes, it’s hard to believe
today but I was one of those with the long hair, granny glasses, car with flowers painted on
it, rock and rolling rebellious teens). I had begun to believe that anything involving God was
no longer important and stayed away from anything religious in nature.
As I entered “Corporate” It was expected of a Trainee in virtually any corporation in
the early ‘70s that you be civic minded, well rounded, family oriented… and attending
church was part of that. However, I became critical of the church, critical of supervision,
and wanted more out of life although through this period I was giving the appearance of a
Christ follower.
During the mid-70s my wife gave her life to Christ and began to be “very weird” to me.
Not a “bad” weird but yes, almost a stranger to me. She wanted more from this “religion”
thing for me also and felt that going back to my Protestant roots may help. I said “Yeah
whatever!?!?”
10
 We ended up at a Free Methodist church. Evangelical, Fundamental, go to church
whenever the doors are open, tithe, baptism by immersion, a lot of strange stuff there for
someone who was only going to church because it looked good, could help my career and
it would appease my getting-weirder wife!
I began to play the game of religion and in 1976 everything began to change… During a
“revival” at the church, I was so moved that I gave my life… at least for that moment over to
Jesus Christ. I was so “good” that in 1982 I felt that I could use verse 4 of Psalm 37. I asked
God for a specific (desire of my heart) move. I was now a “Big Fish” in a little sea (the town

“
had approximately 1,800 people).
I kept up my appearances as a “Good” Christian, but My wife gave her life to
my “Civic” duties moved me away from God, my wife, and Christ and began to be
my family. Kathy and I began to drift apart mentally, emo- “very weird” to me
tionally, and physically. I again began to be very critical of
anything religious, anything having to do with the family, and anything or anyone that Kathy
was associated with.
By the middle of 1986, things were very bad within our household. Finally, on New Year’s
Eve 1986 I told Kathy that I wanted nothing more to do with her or “HER” God. The com-
pany gave me an assignment that took me away during the week. Somehow, someway, I
began to turn back towards Godly things. I began to realize the value of a wife, family, and
Christ but not wholeheartedly. Separation sometimes does that, and the Lord knew that is
what I needed.
A few years later we moved to Nashville by MY power and might.
Within a few weeks, I knew that I had made a mistake. Within a few months I was let go.
But miracles began to happen, and as in most cases when tribulation occurs, I got closer
to God.
I was without employment for about 5 months. During that time, no bill was ever late,
we never went hungry, and we never failed to tithe, the Lord was really good! Maybe this
God stuff really is true! Then (came) a job in Seattle. This experience has not all been
without trials and tribulations as I have been laid off twice, been on unemployment 3 times,
changed careers, etc.
However, through it all, God has been faithful, has been my best friend, has placed me
in various church and parachurch settings which has developed and grown me to the place
where I am today.
Was it easy to go through the things I did? Absolutely not, but without them, I firmly
believe that I would not have the relationship with God, Christ and the Holy Spirit that I have
today.

−− RM

11
 Jesus is the Only Way to God:
“I don’t want you or your God. I am sick of this crap, I just want out,” he said. I said, “You
will have to be the one to leave, I won’t leave you, EVER!” But he walked out the door and
slammed it behind him.
“Oh God, what do I do now? Where is he going, keep him safe —he pulled out of the
driveway like a maniac! I have no one here in Michigan. My family is 700 miles from here in
Minnesota, it is December and there is no way I can drive home with 3 kids from Michigan
to Minnesota. What am I going to do Lord? God help me.”
That was a prayer of desperation to God and the conversation between my husband
and I as we struggled to keep our marriage together. Married 15 years, I was 32 years old,
a mom with 3 children and a long, long way from home. Life had been an adventure for the
last 15 years, 5 cross-country, company moves in 12 years as my husband moved up the
corporate ladder.
I had come to know Jesus as my Savior some 8 years before, in a most unconventional
way. A good, Irish Catholic girl, raised in the church and parochial school, I knew who

“
God was! As least that is what I thought until one night
Whoa… NO ONE in Batavia, N.Y., while attending a cake decorating class.
comes to the Father This teacher was different, weird, nice, but different! The
accept through Jesus? last night of the class, the teacher came over to my table
to help my friend and I finish our cakes. Our conversation
was about church as we quickly finished our cakes.
To make a long story short… the teacher told me about a, “Jesus relationship.” I had
never heard this before. The teacher explained a bit about Jesus and how He longed to
have a relationship with me. The class ended and she handed me a little pamphlet, 4
Spiritual Laws. “Thanks!” I stuffed it in my bag and went home.
I couldn’t get to sleep that night, restless, very restless! Too much cake, I thought! I got
up and read that little pamphlet, “What the heck is this all about?” I thought.
Then I remembered a book in the bookshelf I had taken from a hotel room years before,
The Holy Bible, New Testament. “Where do I start reading? I read from the beginning.” In
the early morning hours, I found a sentence in John: “Jesus answered them saying, “I am
the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John
14:6) Whoa… NO ONE comes to the Father accept through Jesus?
And at that very moment , I told God…”if this is true, only through Jesus, not the saints,
not the Catholic church, not my religious family, not all the good stuff I do for everyone,
none of this is the way to get to heaven?” I didn’t understand but was willing. I told God, “I
will give it my best shot. I think I am BORN AGAIN”…1975.
Fast forward, about 7 years… I had been learning all I could about this relationship
with the God of the Universe, His Son Jesus and His Spirit now actually living inside me.
I couldn’t get enough, women’s Bible studies, books, tapes, music, retreats, Church, a
12
different church now, not the Catholic Church, a fundamental, evangelical church.
And then it happened, some 7 years after I came to know my Savior, the Father heard
my prayer and united my husband and I as he found the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
Through it all, (our story could fill a book) God allowed me to keep my word to my
husband. I didn’t leave him even though I sure wanted to many times. God had it all under
control even if I didn’t and He has been holding this marriage together for 42 years now!
That’s my story and it wouldn’t be complete without the promise I received from His
Spirit almost 25 years ago, at the height of our struggles… Jeremiah 32:38-41.

−− KM

I Would Have Missed Heaven

I truly believe that on Judgment Day I would have missed Heaven by 12 inches. I had the
head knowledge that Jesus died for me, but my heart was not fully engaged. I accepted
Christ at a Young Life Camp in high school. I was active in church and youth groups; then
I strayed some in college.
Before I married in the Methodist Church, I re-committed my life with Christ. But I was
still in charge. Then I realized that I needed to be born again, anew. To be completely
submerged in God’s Spirit and let Jesus take the reins of my life, with me in the passenger
seat.
After praying and releasing my heart to Jesus, I was able to read the Bible with under-
standing and relevance for each day. I was able to regularly communicate with Christ in a
personal way, daily, moment by moment. I was able to step under the umbrella of Father
God and was covered by the Blood of the Lamb. Jesus Christ is my personal Lord and
Savior.

−− DW

I Didn’t Understand
I started out being born in a Christian home but I didn’t understand what being a Chris-
tian meant. It all made sense to me when I was about 8. I thought God was there but I had
never quite heard Him before.
God then started to put people in my life to help me understand Him. School had always
been a depressing place until I attended Bellevue Christian. It was very close to then that I
had a realization of how much God loved me. Being around people who have similar beliefs
as me helped me to see the joy of God. Despite this, my school has a lot of people who
13
 want nothing to do with God.
Hopefully if I live as an example, people will be more open to listen to someone telling
them about God. In addition to all this, I have been continuing to listen to God and pursuing
him in youth group, church, by reading His word, and praying to Him.

−− JZ

God is Real
I grew up attending church. I heard the whole gospel message and I could tell that it was
right but it meant nothing to me. Church was merely another activity to show up to.
When I was in High School, a bunch of my friends as well as my older brother were going
on a mission trip with our youth group down to Hollywood, California. I signed up more to
tag along and go somewhere fun than because I actually cared about sharing God’s love.
While we were down there, a boy from another group caught my eye. I started following
him around; doing what he was doing, trying to look like I was into everything that he was.
One night, I followed him when he went up front on his knees at a worship night.
I went up to look “good,” but it was just another act until I got down on my knees and
started to sing the words of the songs about how “I want to know” Him. Instantly, I felt Him
there, saying “Ok, here I am!”
I was absolutely dumbfounded by His presence. I had never believed that God could
really speak to me, or actually care enough to be real in my life, but I could no longer deny
it anymore. He was so real, so overwhelmingly there. I knew the whole game had changed.

“
He was there and He did love me and that truth was so
I felt Him there, saying real, I couldn’t just keep “showing up.”
“Ok, here I am!” Being surrounded by love like that triggered a passion
in me that hasn’t stopped since. I’ve been wrapped in His
love my whole life but that day I started loving Him back and it made all the difference. His
love is truly the anchor in my life, the one constant that I have no doubt I can rely on.
Now I come to church because the message I hear challenges me to keep finding God
in all the different areas of my life, because the relationships I’ve built encourage me with
truth. Coming back to worship always reminds me that surrender brings a freedom and a
life-giving passion that truly makes me live and thrive.

−− Anonymous

14
New Perspective
I had read the book, “Late Great Planet Earth” by Hal Lindsay. It was about the future
and the return of Jesus Christ. I had been raised in a Methodist Church but it had never
been impressed on me that I needed to accept Jesus as my savior for my sins. The empha-
sis was on being a good person.
Lindsay’s book introduced me to a new perspective of the Bible and Jesus Christ. Rather
than making fun of the hypocrisy of the church as I had come to do, I realized I needed to
open my heart to someone who was truly still alive, and who wanted to save me and have
a personal relationship with me, one who would be both friend and Lord —Jesus.
So when invited, I went to a church I had never been to before in California and respond-
ed to an altar call, an invitation to receive Christ. I became a Christian at that moment and
have never regretted or turned back from that decision, or from my heartfelt and studied
convictions that Jesus is both real and will always be a special part of my life as my Lord
and Savior. Praise the name of Jesus.

−− Anonymous

Genuine
I became a Christian in the most unlikely way. I wasn’t in crisis. I had good friends and
good family relationships. My life was just fine. I also had a church life I was satisfied with. I
was content with it and the community it provided. On top of that, I had a skeptical nature.
I always wanted things to be proven to me.
I had friends in and out of my life that weren’t just churchgoers. They were what I now
know as Spirit-filled Christians. They were different. It wasn’t so much what they said to
me. I don’t even recall anything they said. I just know what they were doing at church was
genuine.
It wasn’t like the church I went to where people were doing church as a checkbox, a
work. These other people were praying at odd times, not just at dinner or at church. They
talked about knowing Jesus. Their prayers sounded like they were talking to someone they
knew. That was different. I was drawn to that. I wanted to live a genuine life too.
That was 33 years ago. I can’t imagine my life without Jesus. His plan for my life was for
a genuine relationship. Thank you, God!

−− K

15
God in My Mother
It was so simple for me. I saw God in my mother. I accepted Christ at 7 years of age.

−− Anonymous

“Scientific” Objections
My life was going well. I just got married and religion seemed very important to my wife.
To respect her, I made a commitment to keep an open mind.
I was given the book, “The Case for Christ,” which is a book that talked about the
rational reasons to believe. After reading this book, I was able to get over my “scientific”
objections and see the truth of it all.

−− Anonymous

It’s a process
God was someone that I never had any doubt existed. He just was always there. Even at
a young age, I knew that it required a response, and at age 5, I asked Jesus into my heart.
But making Him the Lord of my life and yielding control of my life has been an ongoing
and continual process, with many times of feeling that I was not able to make it. It has
been through these times, I have learned that becoming a Christian is not a once and for a
moment thing, but that I need Christ every day to save me. I am not strong, smart, good or
faithful enough to save myself, let alone anyone else.
It has brought fullness of meaning to the first Beatitude of “Blessed are the poor in
spirit” because it is the foundation of life, that I am utterly unable to do anything good in
myself. I have to rely on His faithfulness, goodness, strength and wisdom for my salvation;
working out my salvation with “fear and trembling.”
At the same time, I cling to His promises that it is He who “causes us to will and do
according to His good purpose.” Thank God that not even I can derail His plan.

−− EN

Pursued
I was 18 and in beauty school when a gal befriended me. She was a Christian. We
had many experiences together and a friendship was born. She shared how she was a
Christian, yet did not judge me as I was not.

16
 In the years to come, she became bolder in her faith, asking me to come to her home for
lunch. I had many questions about God. She could not “prove” God, but the answers were
in the bible. Yes, she did by showing me over and over the truth.
I realized I would not have eternal life without Christ as I was. She asked me to pray with
her to receive Christ. At 19, I became a Christian and life began to change. I am forever
grateful to my friend, Patty, and Jesus, for pursuing me and my life.

−− NI

An Adventure
When I was 13 years old, I wasn’t getting along with my Mom well. She was having
difficulty adjusting to my passing from childhood to being a teenager and said “no” to
everything. In response to this, my Aunt and Uncle offered to have me live with them for a
while.
So that is what happened. In the course of the 2 years I was there, I made some wonder-
ful Christian friends in the neighborhood. They invited me to a Friday night youth service.
The service was in my old neighborhood by my Mom’s house. I remember walking in and
feeling the Lord’s love right away. I was saved and baptized in the Holy Spirit that evening.
I started going to church regularly and walking with Jesus.
God has done some amazing things for me. He continues to do so each and every
day. He is faithful and has led me through life and (made) me stronger in Him. Life is an
adventure with Him!

−− JH

Curious
I was probably a fairly typical 7th grader, full of myself and thinking that I know every-
thing. Some of us started making fun of our Christian classmates because they didn’t have
the typical teenage surliness.
After a while, the reaction of my Christian classmates had an effect on me. At first, I felt
guilty that I was harassing other s who didn’t retaliate. Then I became curious and started
reading the Bible to find out what they had that I didn’t. By the spring, I had decided that I
wanted Jesus as Lord of my life and gave myself to Him.

−− RH

17
It Made Sense
God became real to me when I was young a teenager, as I was learning about how the
world worked. As I ran into different situations, it seemed there were really different ways to
see the same situation —but which one was the right one?
At the same time, I had a yearning for a deeper meaning for my existence. The church
and spiritual things became alive to me. I made a choice to follow Jesus —not knowing it
was right, but that it made sense to me.
Since then, I have been challenged in my understanding and have a far more deep
conviction because through the greatest highs and the deepest lows of life, I’ve found Him
—Jesus —to be faithful. Things don’t always turn out the way I imagine —often they are
more difficult than I would think —but when I get to the other side, I see His hand and His
goodness and love extended to me.
Additionally, I find a settled peace and confidence in the benefits of righteousness in the
face of rationalism. This has provided incredible direction that provides a great, virtuous
feedback loop confirming the right choices. He (Jesus) is truly God, Lord, and personally
interested in me.

−− J

Joy
I grew up going to church since I was a little girl. I started going to “Young Life” in High
School. I realized that I knew about God but didn’t have a relationship with Him. I met
people who had a real relationship with Jesus. They had so much joy in their lives. I realized
that I had a hole in my heart, something was missing.
After quite a struggle, I invited Jesus in to be my Lord and Savior. What a huge difference
that made! Yet I still wanted that joy I saw. My friend talked to me about the baptism of the
Holy Spirit. I read in my Bible all the references in John 14 and Acts 1&2 and elsewhere.
So I said a simple prayer and asked for the baptism of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit
filled me to overflowing. God gave me a new language, a heavenly one as well. My life has
never been the same. The joy of the Lord filled me and I wanted to tell everyone about
Jesus.
The adventure of my life began there and is still continuing. I have grown in my faith
and can’t imagine my life without Jesus. Having a relationship with the King of the universe
is amazing. He cares about everything in my life, even the little things. He touches and
changes the things I bring to Him in prayer. God has answered my prayers and continues
working in amazing ways.

−− J
18
Don’t Give Up
I accepted Jesus as a young child. I have known Him most of my 55 years here on earth.
I was spirit-filled and baptized by the time I was 11 years old.
Looking back, I realize that as a child I could accept Jesus, but it has taken 50 years
to understand fully His love and compassion for me. I have been a daughter, sister, wife,
mother and friend, and the cement that holds all together is love in Jesus. Through good
times and not so good times, He has stood by my side and told me not to give up.
God is faithful, and the words He spoke in and to me as a child and young woman are
still as true today as the day they were first spoken. I cannot imagine a life spent without
Christ’s love and acceptance.

−− JS

Experiencing His Love

I grew up with church. I was dedicated and baptized as a baby. I was baptized by full
immersion when I was 12. While growing up, my Mother was a Christian but my Father was,
and still is, very against Christianity.
I always knew that Jesus had died for me, and as I reached Freshman/Sophomore year
in High School, it started making a little more sense to me, but I was still missing something.
Last summer, I went to the Youth Junior High Summer Camp on the worship team. It was
there where I really experienced God in His fullness for the first time.
I think we were playing the song, “How He Loves” and it was just incredible. I don’t
know if there was even one person in that room who did not feel God’s presence there.
Afterwards, my mind was at complete peace. It was just the greatest feeling I’ve ever had
in my life.
Now I pursue God much more passionately and I am starting to hear His calling on my
life. I’m still struggling with acting upon it but because of that one night, I know that God will
make a way. He will allow me to follow Him as well as help me reach out to others.

−− Anonymous

Forgiveness and Mercy

I was in my early 20s, married, and having an affair with a married man. My husband
found a pastor who would counsel us, but the wise man he was, he knew that we needed
Christ first. We went through the steps of receiving Christ, or at least I did.
The change in me was a process. Through the years and through many Bible studies,
home groups, and relationships with others who love the Lord, I’ve come to a deeper
19
realization of God’s mercy and love for me.
He lifted me gently out of the pit and has been guiding me ever since. Only through His
resurrection could I know His love for me. May I never disappoint Him again, but when I do,
I know His forgiveness and mercy well.

−− Anonymous

Now or Never
When I was growing up, I was raised in a church where the works of God were very
evident. So I always knew about God. The church was also very legalistic, and living in a
preacher’s home wasn’t any help either. I had accepted the Lord as my Savior, but that’s
because my Mom thought I should.
Then when I hit High School, I fell into a depression. It was a rule in my Mother’s house
that to live there, you had to go to church. I hated church. At some point, the pastor on the
stage kept asking for people to accept Christ and in my heart I felt like I should, because I
never meant it the first time. The more the pastor asked, the more I felt I should.
Then in my senior year of High School, on Easter, when I was showering, I suddenly felt
like it’s now or never, and just asked Jesus to be Lord. Nothing felt different, but over the
course of the following year, I found myself enjoying going to church more. I really wasn’t
doing anything different. Since then I’ve been on this rather interesting journey with God.

−− AL

If You do this, I’ll follow You

Many things have happened many times over the 37 years since I accepted and em-
braced Jesus to change and shape my understanding of God. My initial salvation was a
“God, if you’re there and do ‘this’ for me —get me out of this scrape —I’ll go to church and
follow you.” He did and I did.
The real shaping and changing in me has come through events, sometimes painful,
sometimes losses, when I’ve had to “press in,” as Curt says, to find comfort or strength or
meaning. God provides all those things through His word and through fellowship with other
believers, my husband, family and dear friends. It has been a journey and it continues.

−− LV

20
He loves even when I push Him Away
I’ve grown up in the church my whole life. It wasn’t until about one month ago that
everything just, well, clicked. I’ve always believed that God saved me and that I would be
going to heaven, but I never knew how to fully live the way God wanted me to.
Recently, my family and I moved across the mountains without a clue as to what we
were doing. I was stressed about the move, sad that we were leaving friends and just
feeling lost. I pretty much said to God, “What now?” My ears and my heart weren’t really
open to Him. I started to become bitter and upset at God, wondering what His “Almighty”

“
plan might be.
Then one day, while at work, I was sitting at my desk and I will never leave you
I got a verse that was sent to my phone, “I will never leave nor forsake you
you nor forsake you.” I just broke down. Right then I knew,
no matter what I did or how I felt about God, He still loved me and was pursuing me. I
began my devotions and quiet time with God in the mornings. I finally said, “I surrender. I
surrender all.”
God has opened up the floodgates and I have been washed over with the Holy Spirit.
God really does care and loves me, even when I push Him away. The result of it all, you ask?
Well, I’ve come to appreciate what He has provided. I have a job. I have a wonderful family.
I have a stronger relationship with Him than ever before.
God has answered my prayers and continues to provide me and my family with exactly
what we need. God has shown me just what He can do when I surrender and trust in Him. I
know that things in life will not be perfect, but I do know that God carries me through good
and bad. It’s so worth it to discover what He has in store for you.

−− KH

Meeting the Designer of it ALL

I grew up in the church and knew all of the stories and lessons, but I never really con-
nected with the lessons. I went through the motions through High School and left it all
behind when I moved on to College.
At that point, I began to live a life for me. This included doing as many drugs and drink-
ing as much as I possibly could, and having a great time doing it… but it was never enough.
So I moved to San Diego and did less drugs and started surfing every day.
There was an Easter morning that I went out surfing by myself, and as I was paddling
out a school of dolphins came in and started playing in the waves with me. I looked at the
ocean and the sky and the birds and the dolphins and the beach, and suddenly I felt a
peace come over me.

21
 I suddenly understood that this was no accident and that something much larger and
greater than I could fathom had designed it all. So I prayed. It wasn’t complicated or deep.
I prayed for the first time in years. “Lord, I want to know you and I’m ready to let go…”
One part of my rejection of the church was the hypocrisy and hyper-partisanship that is
broadcast daily. I do not share in the conservative social doctrine of the GOP and believed
that I would have to “fall in line” in order to be a Christian.
I now understand that God created ALL of this and He loves us for exactly who we are.
He doesn’t need us to be any certain way but open to Him. We are each beautifully made
and it is so freeing to know that I don’t have to fix myself before I can go to Him.
Now I am pursuing Him as best I can and I know that He will do greater things than I can
imagine. It is a quiet peace to know that I can never really understand and that He doesn’t
expect me to.

−− MH

Freedom
I grew up in a Christian home knowing about God. I came to the Lord when I was 6 or 8
years old when my Dad led me in the sinner’s prayer.
My relationship with the Lord has gone back and forth over the years, but one thing I
was certain was that no matter how good I was, no matter how many good deeds I did, I
wasn’t good enough to get to heaven. But I also realized I didn’t have to be —God loved me
enough to die for me so I could go to heaven and be with Him. All I had to do was accept
Him.
It gives me such a freedom to know that all I have to do is accept God and love Him with
all that I have. It gives me purpose, too, because now I don’t live for myself but for God and
other people. Now I can share the love and freedom I feel with others.

−− Anonymous

Faith Alone
I was 27, single, and going through a tough time in my life. I was in a bad relationship
and was having difficulty breaking it off. Most of my friends were already married and I was
very lonely.
I grew up in a church that didn’t emphasize the relationship we can have with God. I
was feeling very guilty about some sins I was committing and didn’t know how to get right
with God.

22
 One night I went out for dinner with my cousin, a serious Christian. I was depressed and
sad. She asked me if I believed what the Bible said. I said, “Yes.” She said that it was by
faith alone in Jesus as Lord and Savior that we get saved. I needed to repent and commit
my life to Christ. I still wasn’t sure I could get into heaven by faith alone. My cousin shared
with me the scriptures that said so.
She asked if I wanted to pray with her. I said I wasn’t sure, I would think about it. At one
point I told her I thought some of my sins were so big, I wasn’t sure if God could forgive
me. She said that was almost like the sin of pride —I thought my sin was too big for Jesus’
blood, which covered over all my sins.
That made a lot of sense to me. I asked her after dinner if we could pray together. We
did and I got saved. I didn’t feel that different on that night but I knew I was sincere in my

“
commitment to Jesus.
Over the next several weeks my eyes opened more and I thought some of
more. I successfully broke off my bad relationship. I forgave my sins were so big,
my Mother for something I never thought I would forgive her I wasn’t sure if God
for. She cried when I told her. could forgive me
Before getting saved, I had played the lottery all the time
because I was so afraid my number would come out if I didn’t play. So for several years, I
played the same number in the lottery. After I got saved at age 27, I stopped playing and it
was so easy! I was having nightmares. I prayed about that with a pastor and they stopped
immediately.
God is real and my commitment to him 16 years ago has made all the difference. I am
now married to a wonderful Christian man and we have a beautiful 4-year-old son. Praise
God!

−− JG

Blessed
My walk with the Lord started as a child, growing up in the church. The church and
Christ didn’t become real to me until High School where I chose to bring Him into my heart
at a Young Life camp.
I knew my life was more than just about me. God spoke to me through various people,
mostly boys, at the time. I was young in my faith, so I became sucked into the attention and
pleasure boys could give me.
During college, after two failed relationships, God gave me time to think about Him,
what was really important, and my commitment to live as a Christian. I became like a
sponge, soaking in every good truth and reconciling all the wrongs I’ve done.

23
 Now I’m engaged to be married to a man thirsty for the Lord and for serving others. I am
blessed because Christ chose me first —mistakes and all. I love you Jesus.

−− AM

Kindness of People Touched Me

My brother came to know Christ when I was still in high school, and he began to share
with me. I used to tell him that he’d always been a wonderful, thoughtful, kind person —a
good person —but he said to me, “But I know my heart. That’s what God’s changing.” I
went to church with him many times, and not much of it made sense to me at first, but the
kindness of people touched me.
I knew I wanted it to be real; becoming a Christian. I didn’t want to fake anything. I
wanted it to be real, genuine, so I studied and asked God to help me see Him.
God does woo us. I started my first year of college and had several occasions where
I needed help beyond what I was capable of doing. I would call my brother and ask for
prayer, and God answered in amazing ways —simple ways, but amazing to me.
I began to see that He wanted me to know Him and receive from Him, receive His love.
For me it was one particular day when I gave my life fully to Christ —September 3. It was
before I returned for my second year at Ohio University.
I wrote and told friends and family what had happened to me. When I went back to Ohio
University, I got the privilege of seeing how God was working in the dance community. My
roommate came to Christ, and the things that used to not make sense to me (that I had
heard taught during sermons), became clear and I began to learn the sweetness of prayer
and reading the Bible and getting to know Jesus.

−− TJ

Loved Back to Belief

From my earliest memories, Christianity was a part of my life. My parents were devout
Christians and we were one of the families who were at church every time the doors were
open. I stereotypically knelt to accept Christ at 4 years old. I was involved in youth group
and graduated from a Christian university.
At 21, I went overseas to work for a year. Surrounded by militant atheists, my faith took
a heavy battering. I didn’t know why I believed. I couldn’t match the argument of sense and
reasoning. Faith in an invisible God seemed utterly ridiculous. My year of trials and ridicule
ended with my standing alone on a rooftop, cursing a God I had decided couldn’t really
exist.
24
 I came home angry and broken. And from there, God proceeded to love me back to
belief. My dear, sweet friends listened to every bitter word I had, never pressured, but
continued to love me. I’m certain they were praying on the side. And through their love, I
began to remember why I had believed and learned to see their love, even in the face of my
rejection, as a reflection of the love of Christ.
I can’t pretend that there aren’t still trials. I continue to have doubts —but it strikes me
that God is not threatened by the doubts I may have. And He has proven Himself true far
more often than I have deserved.
And ultimately, I have faced the empty meaninglessness of a life without Christ, without
faith. And though faith has not, for me, meant perfect peace, free of questions, it has meant
a constant awareness that, for all my failures, I am wholly and completely loved.

−− Anonymous

Perfect Timing
I’ve grown up in a Christian home, so I’ve always kind of known in the back of my head
that Jesus is Lord, that He died for my sins, and that He offers me the gift of eternal life, but
it always felt pretty general. His sacrifice was for all mankind, not necessarily specifically
for me.
The weekend before I was scheduled to go on a mission trip to Thailand last summer, I
found out that my grandpa had suffered heart failure and had been admitted into a hospital

“
in Oregon. My whole family went down to spend the weekend
with him. At the time, I was frustrated and a little angry. I was so I was struck with
confused with God’s timing. I didn’t understand why this was God’s incredible
happening at a time when I felt I should be preparing for a trip I goodness in my life
believed He had called me to go on.
The amazing thing is, even though my heart wasn’t exactly where it needed to be, God
still moved. At the age of 97, my grandpa miraculously gave his life to Jesus that weekend.
He was showing improvement and moving back home soon, so my family decided I should
still leave with the rest of the mission team that Monday.
About a week into our trip, I found out that my grandpa had passed away. In the midst of
my grief, I was struck with God’s incredible goodness in my life. Even though I hadn’t had a
great attitude about the situation, God still worked it for good, for His glory.
Looking back, I really believed that God planned the timing of it all, and that it was actu-
ally His will. Nothing was the same when I came home, but it was OK, because I wasn’t the
same either. I was so confused before, but now I realize how overwhelmingly blessed I am
to have a Savior whose timing is always perfect, whose love never fails, and who never left
my side for one minute when I was struggling in Thailand, feeling isolated and alone.
25
 I am still in awe of God’s perfect timing in my life, that He has an amazing plan specifi-
cally for me. God took my circumstances and used them for good.

−− Anonymous

Flirtatious Relationship
I have always known God’s presence and power in the world, but my relationship with
Him has been somewhat flirtatious. When appropriate situations arose, I’d bring forth the
world’s shortest prayer, “HELP!” Three times, I’ve been within a split second of sudden
death and I thank God for His intervention.
I had a busy life and didn’t spend much time thinking about God. In 1974, there was a
World’s Fair in Spokane. At the same time, there was a Christian conference, and my mother
had asked us to join her there. Planning to do some motorcycling around the hills and fish-
ing, I loaded the bike on a trailer and the family in a camper and went off to Spokane.
As it turned out, I could have left the trailer and fishing tackle at home, for the conference
was tremendous. Art Katy was the opening speaker with an incredible testimony! Bob
Mumford and Ern Baxter carried the conference.
Relationship with God (now is) a bit less flirtatious. Spent travel time listening to J. Vernon
McGee on radio and good things began to happen.

−− Anonymous

Filled With Power

Growing up as a kid in the Catholic Church, the only reason I was given as to why I
needed to go to church was, “It’s your obligation as a Catholic…” This wasn’t good enough
for me, so I left the church as a young teen to explore the world and all its dangerous ways
on my own. I suppose I turned to drugs and other things unbecoming of a young lady for
that “spiritual” fulfillment.
I did see glimpses of God intervening in my life, however, from being saved from a
potentially deadly car accident at age 15, to meeting a godly man at age 17, whom I would
eventually marry. At that stage of my life, I was NOT the type who would attract an honor-
able man of any sort, so God’s hand must have been in it!
This was so amazing to me that my curiosity and desire to seek God was sparked in a
whole new way. I knew God must be somewhere, so I started my journey to find Him. I first
found Him at a small-town Baptist church while visiting in Oregon. This was the first time
I’d ever experienced the presence of the Holy Spirit. To see a sanctuary full of people filled
with the Spirit was so overwhelming, and I was envious of what they had.
26
 I went back home, and after 3 years of irregularly attending church, sitting in the back
row, and leaving as soon as it was over so no one could talk to me, I wondered why I

“
still didn’t have what I witnessed in that little Baptist church.
Then one day my pastor started talking about the upcoming I was envious of
“All-Church Baptism,” and that really struck a chord in my heart. what they had
God started showing me that there was a barrier between us, I
was the one who needed to knock it down, and this was how.
I showed up that day to the baptism at Lake Sammamish (after a night of wild partying),
not knowing what God was really going to do to my life. When it was my turn to get into the
lake, my profession of faith was more like surrender than a testimony of my love for Jesus.
“I can’t do this on my own, I need Jesus” was basically the heart of it.
After going under the water and coming back up, I felt like that breath was the first
breath I ever took. I was suddenly and inexplicably filled with a power I had never felt.
When I got home, I immediately got rid of all my “precious” drug paraphernalia like it
was worthless trash, and started living a new life empowered by the Holy Spirit instead. The
transformation in my life was a witness of God’s power to my many family members and
friends from my past, who were shocked and disbelieving at times.
I can’t even describe the depth of joy, peace and love I’ve experienced having Jesus
in my heart all these years —and the prime beneficiaries are my husband and kids! I don’t
know how I would do life without Him.

−− HM

As I reached out, He reached Back to Me

Having grown up in the church, I didn’t really make Christ my personal Savior until I
was about 12 years old. I liked the music in church and the Bible stories were good, but
Christianity was just that for me and that’s it.
In middle school I started trying to figure out if this whole “Christianity” thing was really
for me. It wasn’t that I was starting to doubt, simply testing faith and seeing if God would
meet me.
There are many arguments against Christianity, and many things that can stand in the
way of Jesus. It was like I could see Jesus and the cross at a distance, and several large
walls standing between us.
As I read and learned more I was able to learn how Christianity could work and I pum-
meled my way through some of the walls. Yet some of those walls I simply had to walk
through on faith alone and let them crumble as I touched them. That was where God met
me halfway. As I reached out to God, He reached back to me.

27
 I didn’t have to have all the answers to believe in Him, and I still don’t. Some things you
just have to take on faith, and I’ve never regretted it.

−− DC

Enveloped By His Love

When I was younger, I was turned off by “Sunday-only” Christians, whose lives didn’t
appear to be much different than those who rarely attended church. This later grew into
contempt to Christians in general. I considered them weak, sanitized and a bit odd. I wasn’t
sure where I fit in, but I knew it wasn’t with them.
I pointed to the many “good” people in the world who were not Christians. This, I argued,
was proof that I didn’t need God, much less Jesus, whom I wasn’t even sure had existed.
Later, a friend asked me to come to church and I agreed, though my unspoken intent
was to show her the error of her ways. The church was full of people who sang songs of
worship that I had never heard before, who prayed openly and who carried Bibles (and
even knew what was in it).
All this was unsettling, but one thing was undeniable: The people had a joy in their lives.
I later visited another church and one line in the sermon resonated: You can accept or reject
Jesus, but you cannot sit on the fence.
This led me to start learning not only about the historical Jesus, but the Christ of the
Bible, a book I once thought irrelevant. Now it seemed to be providing answers about
life, and my life. I also started reading about other world religions because I had difficulty
believing that Christianity could be the only way.
I never finished my comparative study because I didn’t need to. It was not theological
arguments that swayed me. It was the inescapable awareness that God loved mankind
—and He even loved me. I was enveloped by His love. It was like putting on glasses and
seeing things in new ways, and wanting to act in ways that pleased Him.
This does not mean that life became ever blissful. It does mean that even in the tough
times, the uncertain times, the I-don’t-know-what’s-going-on times, God is present. And
that makes all the difference.

−− J

The Clocks Aren’t Ticking

I was raised Catholic. I experienced the sacraments of baptism, Holy Communion and
confirmation. I learned the fundamentals of Christ, God, and the Holy Spirit: the Triune
being. I believed in God as a Triune being. The universe is too well put together not to
28
believe that God didn’t make it.
When I was 4, I was molested by a boy in the neighborhood we just moved in to. From
that incident I developed a fear of people, mostly males. I became a mark, a victim, a target.
But I managed to hide it most of the time.
The sad part was I didn’t feel safe enough to go to my parents. My coping mechanisms

“
were to conform to what the adults said, do my best in
school but not draw attention, good or bad. When I went I noticed after a few
to college and until the time I had children, I used almost days that I had no more
every kind of mood-altering legal and illegal substance thoughts of killing myself
to assuage the fear, be chemically happy, forget and fill
the God-sized hole in my soul.
I didn’t find out until the age of 33 that experiencing gut-wrenching fear in all social situ-
ations wasn’t normal. I would replay uncomfortable situations over and over in my head.
Meanwhile, I became a husband and a father. I worked. I grew in my acquired vocation.
I didn’t excel but I didn’t fail. Five years ago, I was laid off from my job of 10 years. I couldn’t
find a job and couldn’t pay the mortgage or debts I accrued. I had to walk away from my
house and declare bankruptcy. I lost one dog. I hid away from my problems in an online
game. I could always succeed there.
During this period after the layoff, I thought many times a day about killing myself. I had
my plan but never followed through. I called a friend a few months after the bankruptcy. He
is a good networker and I felt he could help me find a job. He was on a leave of absence and
we could get together to talk and walk just about any time. We spent the summer talking
and walking. He would always talk about stories in the Bible and end our walks by praying
for me.
I asked him about a mutual acquaintance during one of these walk-talks. He mentioned
that Rick had passed away. He proceeded to tell me the story about how he had prayed
for Rick’s salvation while Rick was lying in the hospital clinically brain dead. This is a very
intricate story that details Rick’s non-belief and vehement arguments with my friend about
it. I cannot do it justice here.
I was very excited by this story. I even told my daughters about it, it touched me so
much.
A couple of weeks after this story, I asked my friend what the prayer of salvation was
that he had mentioned in one of our walks. I said the prayer.
I didn’t notice a change right away but something had occurred. I felt it was akin to walk-
ing into a clock shop everyday and realizing after a few days that the clocks aren’t ticking.
I noticed after a few days that I had no more thoughts of killing myself.

−− AC

29
I Heard a Voice
It was at an early age that I rejected “Church.” Quite simply, it scared me, made me feel
guilty, unworthy, unlovable, unclean and unredeemable. Questions were not encouraged. I
did not, however, reject God.
To find God, I went on my own private quest attending many different churches with
friends, trying on different religions as though it were a coat that I could slip in and out of,
looking for that elusive “perfect fit.” All the time feeling a big something missing in my life,
a critical piece of the puzzle.
What was wrong with me? Why could I not connect with my God, feel His presence in
my life, do what others seemed to do so effortlessly? I prayed, I meditated, tried different
diets, fasted, but felt much was still missing for I never felt God’s closeness, never could
hear His voice, know how to connect.
I moved forward with my life, rejecting organized religion, still looking for my own path-
way to God, but feeling increasingly that I had missed something important. I went to
college, worked, married, raised a family and continued to pray, to search and yearn for a
breakthrough, for a miracle, to know with certainty that God loved me, was a part of me.
Then an event happened that shattered my life. My best friend, the love of my life, my
partner, husband, became gravely, painfully ill. It was life changing in every way imaginable.
Through it all, I prayed, bargained, pleaded, railed, ranted and nothing… I felt alone and
abandoned.
I was beyond understanding, and then my life forever changed. I had been praying for
an unknown length of time when I smelled an unknown floral scent and heard a voice that
was my voice, but not my voice, say to me, “You Are Not Alone, I Have Heard Your Prayers.
I Am With You. I Will Not Abandon You, Rest Now And Gather Your Strength For The Morn-
ing.” The voice was soft and reassuring, not thunderous as I would have thought, and I was
left with a tremendous sense of peace. I slept.
My life was forever changed. I have only once more heard the “voice,” but that’s for
another time.

−− Anonymous

Lookin’ for love

I can’t really say when I began my life with Jesus. I have always believed he is God’s
Son, and I have some significant times in my life when I had encounters with him. I first
heard that he loved me and wanted a relationship with me when I was 19. That was an
amazing revelation and I couldn’t wait to say YES!!

30
 As I look back on it now, I was so ripe for this revelation. I was lonely —not in the “no
friends” way, but in the “I don’t share much with people” way —and his love and presence
in my life made all the difference. I had a REAL friend who knew me and loved me and
wouldn’t leave me.
Then I went away to college. I met a lot of people, got attention from men for the first
time, and started making some bad choices. My invisible friend Jesus —although I still
believed in him —didn’t seem as tangible as real, live people. I was “lookin’ for love in all
the wrong places.”
And the thing that still amazes me is that my friend Jesus never did leave me. In fact,
as I started moving out of that life and dealing with the guilt of my sin, I found that not only
was He my friend —He was willing to be my Savior, too. I spent several years refusing to
“let” him be my Savior because I was a Christian when I sinned —so I felt like my sin was
too bad, too unforgivable.
But he just kept loving me, pursuing me and breaking down my barriers —my pride
—until I finally turned to him, repented and accepted his forgiveness. He became —and is
becoming —so much more than just my friend. He is now my Savior and my LORD.
And I found this verse from 2 Timothy 2:13 to be true for me:
If we are faithless,
He will remain faithful,
for He cannot disown himself.

−− DB

Extremely Happy
My story is simple. I have chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy and
severe lung problems. I am wheelchair bound and take oxygen 24/7. Even with all these
health question marks, I am extremely happy because of my belief in Jesus, our church, the
three-fold group, friends, family and a great wife.

−− BR

Church is for the Weak

I used to think that church and faith were for women, the weak and unsuccessful. This
was a huge obstacle on my way to accept the Lord, because my heroes were the strong
and successful. There were a number of situations when I did remember God, and some-
times, when I was in hopeless situations, I did even pray as a last resort.

31
 But church was definitely not for me. Now and again I tortured myself listening to boring
sermons, because I thought I had to. When I grew up, I could not relate to the Christians I
knew. They were trying to be “too good” all the time, had very old-fashioned moral views,
and spoilt the fun I was seeking so much. I also agreed a bit with the idea that “religion is
opium for the people.”
After many years of more or less successful attempts to take command of my own fate,
and practically ignoring God, I came across a group of strong and successful men who
happened to be Christians. This caught my interest and I remembered the biblical stories,
and how I did believe when I was a young boy.

“
When I listened to the men and their testimonies I was
When I was ready to intrigued. I experienced how some of them were “beam-
return, He was there ing” and full of the Holy Spirit, and I wanted to find out
patiently waiting for me more. Looking back, this was probably the turning point
in my life. I got interested in finding out more.
Just over two years ago my wife found Lake Samm Foursquare Church, and after a
while she dragged me to church too. This was a different type of church, a church I could
relate to. Again I met believers, who were strong and successful. I listened to the speeches
organized by “Linking Shields,” and got introduced to “Reasons to Believe.”
All this was really impressive. There were a lot of people out there who were successful
in this world, and who had decided to follow the Lord’s word. I tried to open up, and eventu-
ally I started talking to the Lord. I even got some response from the Holy Spirit. This was
very soft at first and became stronger with time.
Gradually I have improved communicating, and I believe that God has always tried to
communicate with me. But as long as I chose not to communicate with Him, I could not
hear him. This caused me to make some very poor decisions in the past.
Before I believed, I thought I could be in control, and I used to worry a lot. Today, with
my economic future very uncertain, I am not worried at all. I know that I am not in control,
but I have an ally, which I did not have previously. Although I turned away from God, I did
not believe in Jesus as the son of God, and I ridiculed the existence of the Holy Spirit, God
our father had not turned away from me. When I was ready to return, He was there patiently
waiting for me.
Last year I had a boating accident. I was exhausted, my floating device was dubious,
and my chances for survival were not very good. I was certainly not in control of my life. It
was the first time that I totally surrendered to God. I was at peace, and accepted whatever
fate He had planned for me.
Although I am a poor swimmer, and I am usually terrified of deep water, I was not afraid
for one moment. I did not panic, nor did I pray. Although there was no logical reason for it,
I just knew, that He is real and that my journey would continue.

32
 A few years ago a guest pastor in a small Anglican church gave me a cross, made from
olive wood, as a farewell present. All crosses had different engravings with passages from
Scripture. The one that he had picked for me randomly reads: “For I know the plans for you,
says the Lord.” (Jeremiah 29:11) My journey continues.

−− R

Choosing God Again

In a way, I feel I was born into the church. Both my parents became Christians in college
before they met one another. They met at church, got married in that church, and then
moved because my dad was military, but they found a new church home. They had me and
dedicated me to the church and God.
Our very best friends throughout my life were made in the church. I became a Christian
myself in second grade after a night at AWANA. I was involved with church leadership very
young as I helped my parents start AWANA programs at other churches or as I got into
middle and high school youth groups.
But then it happened … I went away to college. I spent my college mornings sleeping
in and found excuses not to attend groups such as the Navigators. Not only did I turn God
away, but I started to allow myself to make decisions that were NOT in His plan for me. It
started out very innocent, and that was about 3 years of just not living a Christian life. But
nothing harmful to me or others, I just wasn’t in God.
Then for my last 2 years of college and first year of my professional life I accepted the
bar scene as a lifestyle. I drank a lot, got involved with drugs, and went through many men.
There were times I would pray to God that if he didn’t want me there then to just remove me
from the situation. But it doesn’t work like that; I had to choose to make a change in my life
for God. He was there with me the whole time; I was rejecting him.
I then met my husband, who wasn’t a Christian. We dated briefly, moved to Washington,
and got married. That’s when I realized I had a hole that couldn’t be filled with the things I
had tried for the past 3 years. I asked my husband if he’d start to attend church with me if
I wanted to go.
It was then that I made the choice to again choose God. My husband has since become
a Christian and I have rededicated my life to God. He never left; I just had to make the
choice in my life.

−− Anonymous

33
A New Beginning
I was ten years old when some friends invited our family to go to a spirit-filled church
with them. For many years prior to this, our family had gone to a more formal church. So I
had grown up knowing of God, but at the spirit-filled church I started hearing about God in
more personal, intimate ways.
On Easter Sunday, my parents were watching a TV evangelist while getting ready to go
to church. The evangelist asked people to raise their hand if they wanted to accept Jesus.
So I raised my hand in our family room. Then he asked people to pray. Next thing I knew,
my Dad was kneeling beside me in front of our TV and together we prayed to invite Jesus
into our lives.
For 30 years now, Dad and I have celebrated Easter as our spiritual birthday —our day
of beginning a new life and a journey of discovering how deeply God loves us, and how
intimately He is involved in the details of our lives.

−− LB

He Got a Hold of Me
My story is one of God’s faithfulness to me once he got a hold on me. I believe at some
point when I was younger, before college, I believed in the message of the gospel of Jesus
Christ and was saved, but honestly, it was not transforming until later.
By all respects I lived as anyone else around me did, even though I went to church since
I was very young. My aspirations didn’t involve God, I did not read the bible, and rarely
would talk to God. What changed was once I got into college, by receiving something I
didn’t and don’t deserve more than any other person in this world, God led me into a group
of people who had something very different… an alive relationship with the living God. I
continued to attend this church and was thirsty to listen and spend time with the people
because they had something different.
My progression to knowing Jesus lives was not a single event but a gradual progres-
sion of what I believed in my head, but not tangibly, expanding into something bigger and
bigger.
I know people on the outside often group my faith just like any other religion, like a creed
to live by but not necessarily for everyone, but it is far from that. It is a daily relationship with
the living God that isn’t only transformative, but its life giving, and ever expanding.
To answer the questions: What was going on in your life at that time or breakthrough?
Answer: I was pursuing my own goals and not God, and I believe He just had grace on
me. I did though involve myself with those people who I could tell had something real and
desirable inside of them.

34
 2: What happened to change your mind, your beliefs, your understanding of God?
Answer: listening to and studying the word of God and then looking at what it says are the
evidences of Him. The best thing that I can say to someone on the outside is that, daily,
weekly, monthly, yearly… the bible, God, and this relationship with my risen savior ever
expands, which is an evidence of what it is…the word of God.
3: What has been the result of coming into this deeper relationship with Him? Answer:
Life… amazing fulfilling life in everything. Not only am I full, but I have a love and a God that
always stands by my side and corrects me when I’m sinful and stubborn and won’t give
things up to him… and rejoices with me when I am so ridiculously blessed.
Secondly, purpose… life is meaningful because the God which gives meaning to all He
created is now the person who I call Lord… the one I now listen to and follow His com-
mands, not out of obligation… but out of great joy and thankfulness for Him! May he be
praised for what He has done! And may anyone who reads this know by His mercy… that
He lives.

−− Anonymous

I Called Myself a Christian

I called myself a Christian before I was one. I thought being a Christian meant you
believe Jesus is real, not a myth, that the Bible is full of wisdom, and that you commit to
being a good person like Jesus.
In college, I went to a Bible study for the first time. I figured I should, since I called myself
a Christian and didn’t know a lot about the Bible. I found that what’s actually in the Bible is
very different from what I thought. While there are some sections about rules and behavior
—recipes for being a good person —most of the Bible isn’t about recipes.
It’s about what real love looks like, and how far our hearts are from that, no matter how
hard we try. That “sin” isn’t just deciding to do something selfish or bad, it’s something very
deep in us that results in destructive kinds of behavior. Love is like that, too —something
very good in our hearts that results in good kinds of behavior. That the condition of my
heart is much more important than the things I do. I can do good things for bad reasons,
and bad things for good reasons.
This made tons of sense to me. I found that I really, really wanted a way of understand-
ing good and evil that I could live with. So I started going to church and continued studying
the Bible. I found early on that God loves us so deeply it’s really impossible to fathom, and
He is the source of the love in my heart. That compared to how God meant me to be, my
heart is much worse than I’d like to believe because God’s love is so much deeper and
more amazing. I need God to step in if I want to become a good person —I can’t do that
myself (although I can do a pretty good job of looking “good” if I try hard).
35
 I learned a lot about what the Bible has to say about love and forgiveness and selfish-
ness and greed, and how to apply that in my life —how to work it out. I became a Christian
and, I think, a better person.
We talked a lot about a “personal relationship with Jesus.” I learned a lot about God by
studying the Bible, but there was no two-way interaction with Him —nothing I would call
a relationship. I believed that God was there, and also in my heart, but I almost never felt
these things.
I prayed a lot, but I never had a sense of an answer from Him, just that sometimes
circumstances lined up the way I prayed. I believed God and Jesus were real, but I never
felt it. I wondered whether I wasn’t just kidding myself about God and the Bible, since my
heart wasn’t really different from somebody studying any good, wise path.
Then I joined a church community where they believe God does speak all the time.
They believe that the stories about Jesus weren’t just true, but that all Christians should be
doing literally what Jesus did; the miracles, the sacrifices, everything. That God’s love is
really different from what we usually think of as love —much stronger and deeper and also
more challenging and demanding. That God’s eternal, fathomless love is mostly expressed
through followers of Jesus, not through good circumstances.
My life changed (again) when other Christians went way out of their comfort zone to
look me in the eye and speak God’s loving word to me, sometimes comforting, sometimes
challenging.
This is when Jesus became real to me: when I felt God’s incredible love through other
Christians, seeing God’s heart regularly in other followers of His. I understood what it meant
to say “Jesus is my Lord,” and to follow and serve Him. Not just to study the Bible and
know things and make good choices. But to be with Him all the time: praying to Him and
hearing Him, letting Him fill me with His Spirit and loving others, hearing His challenges and
responding. As much as I can, being as Jesus would be to God’s children around me.

−− MB

Best Friend
I’ve been a Christian since I was 4 years old. I knew that God was calling me and I
couldn’t resist the call. My relationship with Him still is like a best friend; he would play with
me, talk to me, we would sing together, I could talk to him, even get angry at Him, and he
would still love me unconditionally.
At school, when I was just 8, I fell off a tricycle. 7 hours later, I suffered a serious stroke
from head injury. I didn’t know what was happening; all I knew was, I was in the hospital. I
remember sitting in the recovery room of the hospital, not able to talk, walk or use my right
hand. Concerned about what had just happened to me, but I knew for a fact that Jesus was
36
right there with me, holding my hand.
My parents were in awe but they were strong and a BIG testimony to those in the hospi-
tal. They knew that what the enemy had planned out for evil, God would turn to good. Once
again, through my whole experience at the hospital, I remember God being there with me,
holding my hand, giving me a peace which even to this day I do not understand.
Through the years I’ve cried and gotten frustrated out of my mind with the physical side
effects of what happened, and gotten mad at God for letting this happen. God has been
so faithful, understanding and above all else, he has helped me get through this. When I’d

“
be in my room, mourning over the ‘lost me,” crying out
to God, in the fetal position, in tears —it was then that God would hold me in his
God would hold me in his arms and cry with me. arms and cry with me
God would remind me that I was here for a purpose
and that purpose was awesome. I would feel an understanding that no one else could give
me, a love that is so great. I would come out of that situation with a peace that passes all
understanding. No one else in the world could do that for me. God had not abandoned me
but was even closer in those times. In those times of sorrow, I’ve gained strength and an
understanding of people so extraordinary that only God could give.
I still have a right-side weakness and some definite effects of my stroke almost 20 years
later. I’ve faced many challenges, which Jesus and I have taken on together. Our God is so
BIG, so strong and so mighty there’s NOTHING that WE cannot do! God is my best friend
and there’s nothing that I can’t face with Him.
None of the challenges that I faced were anything compared to finding out that my
husband and I were pregnant with twins. In fact, the night before we found out it was twins,
I broke down into tears because of (the effects of) my stroke almost 20 years later. I couldn’t
see how I was going to cope with a baby.
How was I to hold this precious newborn without accidentally hurting it? How was I to
even think about breastfeeding when I would be so nervous that my hand would cramp up,
and I’d not be able to do anything with it? I shared with my husband and he held me and
prayed for me. I felt a peace and an understanding of how I was to do all this, with Christ,
just like I’ve faced all the challenges before.
I asked God over and over, “How am I going to do this? I can’t even hold one newborn…
how in the world am I going to hold TWO and breastfeed two and…” I was paralyzed in fear.
God reached down like he’d done so many times before. He put his hand on my shoulder
and reminded me that with Him ALL things are possible. I put my trust in Him and He sees
everything through all the time.
My prayer for my children is that they, too, would come to know the God of power, the
God of might and above all love and peace.

−− LH
37
I Knew About Jesus, I Didn’t Know Jesus
I grew up in a mainline church that was pretty ho-hum. I had been baptized as an infant
and confirmed at age 13; I knew all the Bible stories, sang in the choir, and went to the youth
group (which was mostly field trips and game nights). Nothing really caught my attention. I
knew about Jesus, but I did not know Jesus Himself.
Although I knew that God was an important part of their lives, my parents were very
private in their faith. My dad said a memorized grace at meals but I never heard them
praying from their hearts. My brother and I stopped going to church in high school. It just
had no relevance in our lives. For no reason other than to get some kicks, I entered the
party scene, with a little drinking but mostly getting high every weekend. I was still a good
student and involved in school sports, so no one suspected that I was living a double life.
My senior year I decided I needed to get away from my home town and create a new life
for myself, but since I was not a new person, I quickly found the same lifestyle at college.
Funny how we just gravitate to what we are familiar with!
Then one day I was invited to a bible study in my dorm. Sure, what the heck, I was
a Christian, wasn’t I? What a shock to find out that it was nothing like my old church:
the songs were new and uplifting, the prayers were personal instead of memorized or
read from a book, and the teaching from God’s word struck my heart in a way that meant
something to me.
I kept going back to that Bible study, and the more I learned about Jesus, the more I
realized what I had been missing. It took me 4 more months to commit my life to Jesus, and
a couple more months after that to really let go of my old habits.
I’ve been a committed Christian for more than 30 years now. Sometimes my faith is
strong and I feel really close to Jesus, and sometimes I go through phases where I know
I’m not spending much time reading the Bible or talking to Him. The nice thing is that I know
that no matter how I feel, He will always love me and is always on my side, wanting the best
for me.

−− Anonymous

Jesus is Real
I was born into a blessed family; 5 boys and two parents. Both my folks worked to
provide for all of us, and while my mom and dad had to make many sacrifices for us boys,
they did so lovingly and willingly. All that matters to them (then and now) is that we’re happy
and that we’re taken care of.
Growing up, they took us all to church frequently. When I hit 12-13 years of age, they let
me make my own choices about going to church, so I stopped going. I then began going
my own way and doing things in a way which I’m not too proud of, in retrospect.
38
 After a few years, a friend of mine invited me to go to his youth group. Honestly, I went
because he was a cool guy and the girls at the youth group were pretty :) I wasn’t planning
on progressing to a relationship with Jesus. I think I always knew there was a God, but He
seemed like a distant, ambiguous “thing” somewhere out there.
Our youth group then began organizing a houseboat trip. I was so excited to go! Great

“
friends, great girls, fun activities, it was going to be awe-
some!! Sure enough, it was just as great as I thought it Then it hit me —this is
would be. Halfway through the trip, we were all asked to real! Jesus is real!
take our bibles and a blanket and for THREE hours we
had to be alone with that bible and blanket. I honestly was dreading it. I came on the trip for
fun with friends, and being alone for 3 hours sounded so boring. Then it occurred to me, I
could use the bible for a pillow and take a nap!
So I tried…and couldn’t sleep. Under a tree with a gorgeous day providing sun and
warmth, and all I could do was be bored. So I finally (after 10-20 minutes which seemed
like hours) decided to crack open the book. What I read, I couldn’t believe. It seemed SO
relevant and applicable to my life, as if it was written just for me. I read and read and time
flipped around, hours felt like minutes and more importantly, I didn’t feel alone.
Then it hit me —this is real! Jesus is real! I ended up reading the bible until there wasn’t
enough light in the day for me to read anymore. It had been over 5 hours. I had a joy I’d
never known and I ran around telling everyone “I’m a Christian! I GET IT!!!
Funny thing is, I thought that was it. Now I know… that was 15 years ago and I still feel
like this is only the beginning.

−− JS

Crisis of Faith
I have been blessed beyond words in that I have walked with Jesus my whole life. I
prayed to receive Him as my Savior when I was 3 or 4 years old, and developed an increas-
ingly deep relationship with Him through childhood and my middle school and high school
years. My life was youth group and missions trips. Jesus was my best friend, and I wanted
to serve God with everything I had. Things weren’t perfect, but my faith and relationship
with Christ was solid.
When I reached college I experienced what I call my Quarter Life Crisis. It was a crisis
of faith as I was confronted by secular ideas, “Scientific evidence” that contradicted ev-
erything I had been raised to believe about creation, and a world history which is full of
suffering and injustice, including wars fought by the church in the name of God.
During my second year of college a heavy blanket of doubt gradually settled over my
heart. I questioned how a loving God could allow so much suffering, and what if everything
39
I had been raised to believe simply wasn’t true?
This was the darkest and loneliest time of my life. I felt suddenly cut off from God,
who had always been my comfort, because I was filled with doubt about who He was.
I felt alienated from my Christian friends because of the skepticism I was feeling toward
Christianity. And I felt terrified by the possibility that it could all be a lie. The faith that I had
built my life on seemed to be crumbling out from under me. I wondered, “If there’s no God,
how can I even go on? What hope would there be without Him?”
I read the Word and I cried out in prayer for months, all along feeling like I was talking
to a brick wall. But slowly God rebuilt my shaky faith, and made it stronger than ever. I had
to come to the point of true faith. Faith doesn’t mean knowing all the answers. It means
trusting in something unseen; something my mind can’t comprehend, and staking my life
on that trust.
I also realized during that time how good it is to live the Christian life, and what a joy it
is to walk with God. Ultimately, I came to the point where my prayer was a quote from the
book, “Hinds Feet On High Places”: “If you can deceive me you may, only let me go on
loving you. I cannot live without loving you”.
The truth is, even if it all turned out to be just nothing in the end, I wouldn’t trade the life I
have with God today for anything. His presence in my life every day gives me comfort when
I hurt, hope when I feel hopeless, wisdom when I don’t know which way to go, courage to
be me, and to live a life that I can be proud of.
I live with the hope that I will have eternal life, but if this is all there is, it is still worth it. The
Bible verse which I discovered during that time is Psalm 73:28 —“But as for me, it is good
to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.”

−− Anonymous

I Met God
I was in a Christian family growing up and grew into knowing Jesus as a personal savior
for me. But I can tell you about an instance of seeing and knowing God’s realness in my
life.
While being a youth at Lake Samm, I went on a retreat to learn to hear God’s voice.
During that time, I asked God to speak and show himself to me. He told me how much he
loved me. Also that weekend, he told someone/showed someone “a word” about me and
my Dad that only I knew about.
God told me through someone else about how much both my earthly and heavenly
Father love me despite what I had thought. It took my knowledge of God from a head
understanding to a heart understanding. I knew God spoke in the Bible, but I then knew
that He still speaks today, and He uses us to do it!
40
 I now enjoy spending time in prayer and not just speaking to God, but in listening for His
voice. I also love reading the Bible, because He speaks through scripture even though it
was written so long ago. I met God that weekend, and now I meet with Him daily!!

−− BW

Found God Again

I grew up in the church in a small town and came to know God in my early teens. I felt
His love, forgiveness, and grace in a very personal way.
After college, I married and went to graduate school. My career blossomed, and along
the way I lost track of my faith. I grew far from God as I took more confidence in myself. I
attended church, but really let my beliefs lapse.
Eventually, I became so full of myself that I lost my moral grounding. I built a real sense
of entitlement, thought the world owed me. I became self-centered, egotistical, and con-
trolling. I know now that I became very hard to live with… hypercritical, hypersensitive…
During my lowest times, I violated my wedding vows to fidelity, and became reliant on
drugs for escape. But God has a way of keeping track and had a plan to bring me back.
In 2006, my behavior and “secrets” were discovered by my wife. I was ashamed of what
I had done. Broken, I fell at the foot of the cross to ask God’s forgiveness, and re-found the
man that He wanted me to be, the man I had left somewhere along the path of life.
The healing both in me and in my marriage is an ongoing process, and I am ever thank-
ful that God is on that journey with me.
By His love and the blood of Christ, I am born anew with new hope and courage to face
my past and build a new tomorrow. Amen!

−− Anonymous

God is God
At the age of seven years, I accepted Jesus into my heart at an Easter Egg Hunt that
my church put on. Ever since then, I’ve been following Jesus to the best of my ability, and
constantly growing in Him. However, my life took a turn during my junior year in college that
changed everything.
When my junior year began, the doubt and pessimism had already begun. A close friend
had come home from a Latin America Studies Program that was endorsed by my school,
and her stories had made me bitter. What hit me the most was when she relayed a story
about seeing workers picketing outside of a U.S. corporation in one of the countries, pro-
testing the unhealthy working conditions they lived in everyday. In my heart I was asking,
41
“Why would God let this happen?”
It was then that the doubt really set in, and it would come to influence my learning
that following semester. That next semester, I went to Washington, D.C., to be a part of
the American Studies Program, which is in the same group of internship programs that
my friend was a part of. During my time there, I took three political science classes while
interning for Congressman Dave Reichert.
That semester was kind of the low point in my relationship with God, because I couldn’t
understand why God didn’t seem to help the helpless. Or why He let the Congress people
tear each other apart or why our country is going the wrong direction.
Did God exist? Did God care? My devotional life came to a halt, and the most my
spiritual life had was going to church once a week, although I was a part of a Christian
program. Being bombarded by different ideas, beliefs, and personalities, I didn’t know
what to believe. Where was God?
After coming home, my summer was spent getting back on track again by devotionals
and going to bible study. What I had come to learn from that experience is that just because
I may not have all the answers, or understand why things happen, God is and will always
be God.

−− JM

I was a Lost Soul, Except I Wasn’t

I was raised in a large family in a well-known religion. My family had financial issues
and I ended up living with my grandparents one year. I stopped going to church with them
because the priest’s sermons were so irrelevant and impersonal to my life. Then we would
go into the parking lot after church, the people would be swearing and trying to get out of
the lot as fast as possible. There was something missing.
I met a woman at community college that I decided to be friends with. The only way
I could hang out with her was to go with her to Protestant church. She took me to a Bill
Gothard seminar where the plan of salvation was illustrated.
One day in the attic room of my dear grandparent’s house. I knelt down and invited
Jesus into my life at age 19. It was something I felt I ought to do. I did nothing after that until
I was 32. I lived my life the way I knew to do. I didn’t go to church. I was a lost soul except
I wasn’t.
The Lord orchestrated my life. He moved me from D.C., where I was working and loving
it, to San Francisco. I left a very nice boyfriend (not living with him) in D.C. and a job I loved
for a reason I didn’t understand. Four months after I got to San Francisco, the director
ordered me to Seattle. I did not want to go and I objected. He said he needed me in Seattle
and I had two choices: go to Seattle or be fired.
42
 I went to Seattle (my family was from Tacoma). Then I had this incessant desire or
impulse to buy a condo. I had no idea, in 1978, what a condo was. I ended up living across
the street from a little steepled church. A friend, Kathy Knox, encouraged me to attend
church. I had gone once about a year before and thought the people very strange. They
were raising their hands, shouting out to Jesus, having words of knowledge, etc. Because
of Kathy’s unwavering cheerful invitation, I went to church again.

“
Attending that church changed my life. The
associate pastor was the most encouraging man When I was ready to
ever. I was a senseless sinner and he never con- return, He was there
demned me. I eventually was water baptized and patiently waiting for me
filled with the Holy Spirit. I became a prophet,
prayed for people who were healed, and had words of knowledge. I became passionate
about the Lord.
I had had a car accident in 1982. I overturned my car and fractured my neck. I couldn’t
stand up straight and the doctors could not help me. I didn’t think the Bible would work. I
was a hard case. Finally, with Kathy’s friendly invitation, I attended church, started reading
and applying the Word, the Lord healed my fractured neck and many things.
The point is, I felt the call, answered it, and the Lord directed my life for 13 years until He
brought me to a church where I gave up my sin, blossomed, and became fruitful.

−− S

Church Is A Family
When I was younger, I always went to church, but don’t ever remember why I was going.
What I do remember is the friends I had, and the fact that we were so young and had no
idea what we were doing.
As I got older, my parents divorced and I stopped going to church for a couple of years.
I remember returning to church when I was about 14 or 15, about five years after I stopped
when I was a kid. And again I truly did not have any understanding, at that point in my life.
Going to church was a chore I felt I didn’t need. I was going through a rebellious stage of
my life where I knew everything, and the biggest mistake I made was wasting time.
I later realized that church was not a chore, but a family that made me feel something
different. Church made me act different, better, stronger. Personally it took me some time,
a few trial and error tests, but I genuinely feel like my journey has finally begun.
After 22 years of my life, I feel I have been born to try and understand the wisdom of
God and all of His glory.

−− Anonymous
43
 Challenged In What I Believe
My family went to church when I was young, except my father because he saw inconsis-
tencies between the preaching and the lives of the people in the church.
After my mother graduated, she began working. We stopped going because she felt that
she had put in her time, and didn’t need the social community now that she had a job.
My best friend across the street was gone every Sunday morning, and I was bored, so I
started going to church with his family. After several months of goofing off with him during
service, his mom approached me. She asked me why I was coming to church, and chal-
lenged me that I was going for the wrong reason if it was just to hang out with Nathan.
That was the first time I considered what church meant, what my salvation represented.
When I started pursuing figuring out what God wanted for me, I was six years old.

−− Anonymous

It Made Me Want To Know God Myself

I grew up in a Catholic family with sincere believing parents, but as I became a teenager,
I started having doubts about church, religion, and God. My Dad was Choir Director at our
church and he offered to direct the choir for an interdenominational youth group. I joined
and ended up becoming friends with many of them. For a few, I noticed they had a sincere
belief that showed in their actions. It seemed like a very real and personal relationship they
were trying to develop with God, not just a code way to live by some rules and relationship
via proxy through the church.

“
It made me start to want to know for myself, was
I knew that He was real; God real? Was Jesus really God? Does he want to be
Jesus loved ME involved with my life, or if He does exist, is He just a
stand-offish God who started creation and will judge
us after life on if we were a good or bad person? Did God really want to live in my heart and
talk with me, guide me?
I’m not really sure “how” it happened, but somehow in my heart when I was truly seek-
ing Him and wanting to know Him, I knew that He was real; Jesus loved ME. Life just had
more beauty, more purpose, more meaning after that. I became hungry to get to know just
not more about Him, but to really try to know and please Him.
It wasn’t until years later that I came to have a new revelation about the nature of our
loving relationship to God. As I saw leaders and people around me who I respected FALL to
various sins and I myself also still sinning, it made me withdraw from God —like He forgave
me, but I couldn’t really live up to His expectations. He couldn’t really want someone like
me close to Him or to use someone like me, and did people ever really change?

44
 It was a profound lesson into the nature of God’s love, forgiveness, and grace. It was
then I understood the need to forgive others and myself and that nothing could save me
but God’s grace and Jesus’ sacrifice. I could never earn or live up to His favor, yet for some
reason, He still loves me.
It was then I really understood it was my faith and trust in Jesus’ love for us, the sacrifice
HE paid, that gives and fuels all my hope and confidence that I am one of God’s chosen
and saved.

−− Anonymous

I Wanted What They Had

I was raised as a Lutheran, including baptism, confirmation, and weekly church atten-
dance into my teen years. I knew about Christ as a real person who lived 2,000 years ago,
just as someone knows about Caesar Augustus or Alexander the Great —historical, real,
remote, and certainly not alive today.
My involvement in church became minimal in late Junior High and High School. I guess
I didn’t see a lot of repentance of Christianity or Christ (relevant) to the day-to-day activities
or stresses I was facing. This was the state I went to college in, believing I was a Christian,
but it was a remote corner of my life, and not one I visited often or made much difference
in my life.
At college, I realized I was making the transition from youth to adulthood, and began
grappling for the first time with the major issues of life. Why am I here? What is my purpose?
Where am I going?
College was very stressful. High school was easy for me, but at college I was average,
mostly due to a lack of discipline and maturity. I saw people failing badly all around me,
drugs, alcohol, and bad relationships. I had no decision on a career; what was I going to
do with my life? I had no guide or vision to make those decisions —I felt empty inside,
depressed, rudderless.
I was invited to a Chi Alpha campus group (act of God, by a friend). I went as I thought
I was a Christian. It was a fun group of college students. At the end, we sat in a circle and
prayed, except they were different. They prayed to Jesus as if He was alive right there, and
they had a loving relationship with him. I saw that the Christianity I had was very different
and watered down compared to theirs.
I wanted what they had. Like water to a man dying of thirst, I wanted what they had, my
soul thirsted and hungered for it, I just didn’t know what “it” was. Now I do and “it” changed
everything.

−− Anonymous
45
I Experienced Jesus
I was blessed to be born into a multi-generational Christian family. My grandpa was a
pastor most of his life. Weeks after I was born, I was dedicated to the Lord by my grandpa
in his church.
Before every meal we thanked Jesus for our food. Every evening my Mom read my big
brother and me a bible story. And every evening we said our prayers. Needless to say,
Jesus was a big part of my childhood.
When I was 4 or 5 years old, I had a dream. That dream could have easily been dismissed
as a child’s nightmare. I know it was a demonic dream. Thoughts no child would put in their
head. In the dream I was being attacked, intimidated and tormented by what appeared to
be monsters. I did not know it was dream. Like most dreams or nightmares, I thought it was
real and I was scared. I was paralyzed with fear and thought this was the end.
I did the only thing I could think of. I prayed. At the mere utterance of the name of Jesus
Christ in my prayer, the world changed around me. At the proclamation of Jesus’ name, the
demons ran. I was no longer scared and felt a warm comforting presence.
Waking from the dream, the Lord gave me insight as to what happened. Like Jesus
was telling me in James 2:19 “You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God.
Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror.”
It was the first time I experienced Jesus in my life. Not as bible story Jesus but as savior
Jesus, savior to me. In that one childhood moment, I learned the power of prayer, the power
in Jesus’ name, the love Jesus has for His children and the covering He brings.
Jesus has blessed my life in so many ways. In joyous times He has celebrated with me.
In bad times He’s comforted me. He’s shown me how to be a friend, how to be husband,
and how to be a father.

−− J

Why Don’t You Get Saved

I was a freshman at college. I was one month into classes. My roommate was saved and
invited me to a Bible study. One night, I went. On my way back to the dorm afterwards, I
mulled over a question raised in the study.
All of a sudden a new response popped into my head that was logically consistent!
Then, the question popped into my head, “Why don’t you get saved?” I said “NO”, because
I knew of an excuse. I owed someone $6.00 from playing cards and I only had $5.00 in my
pocket. And, I had worn the jacket the previous day and all pockets were empty! Then I
put my hand in my jacket pocket (it was getting cool outside), and inside was $1.00. After
that, “Why don’t you get saved?” again popped into my head. I said, “NO” because I didn’t
want to.
46
 Then, my path opened up to a baseball field, and suddenly the grass, big oak tree, and
stars looked different, unlike anything I had witnessed before. I knew then and felt in my
heart that Jesus loved me. When I reached my room, my roommate saw my face and we
prayed for my salvation. That was September 1974.

−− RB

Everything New
In 1994, I graduated high school and had the whole world in front of me. I had friends,
family, and loved ones, and felt I had all I needed to succeed and find happiness in my
life. While I had established comfort in my life, I ultimately decided to leave my home and
live abroad. I desired a change in my life. I wanted to keep growing and do it in a different
environment. So off I went to Portugal.
While I expected challenges, (they were) substantial ones at that, such as not knowing
the culture, the language, and not knowing anyone. Needless to say, as excited as I was,
I was scared. My comforts had all vanished. Most important was the comfort of relation-
ships; I had to start anew.
In the first few weeks, I had plenty of time for reflection. I began to think about the fact
that I was so focused on the differences between my life back at home vs. the life I now
had, but what about the similarities?
Better yet, what can I have no matter where I find myself, whether this is a mental state
or a physical state? What constant could I possess in my life, something I could always
have with me, something nobody or no situation could ever take away from me?
While I had grown up knowing “about” God, I honestly did not know Him up until this
point in my life. I made the conscious decision that God was the one I could take and carry
with me no matter where I found myself.
I became acquainted with a nun in the Portuguese village where I was living and began
my search to not only know about God, but to KNOW God. I was craving relationship! While
I was advancing my relationships with people and my host family, my relationship with God
just felt like (it was) where I needed to invest most of my attention.
I spent the remainder of my year getting to love my new friends, my host family, the
culture, the language, the wonderful food. Most important of all, what makes this year in my
life the most memorable was the relationship I had now made with God. My love for God
had just begun and it continues to grow by constantly having him at the center of my life.

−− JVP

47
Peace
I always was a member and attended Presbyterian churches as a child. I went to Sunday
school and youth camps in the summertime. When I got older, I taught Sunday school,
helped out at summer camps, and attended a Church College.
After 18 years of marriage, when I was 40 years old, my husband moved out of our
house in with another woman (he never came back). I was devastated. I turned to my
church leaders, friends, etc. One of the older ladies said I should go to a Camp Furtherest
Out (an interdenominational retreat) for help. She suggested the camp at Merryville, Ten-
nessee, because she thought it had outstanding speakers. (It did!)
It was a week long deal and one day I was talking to a couple of ladies and they asked
if I had even received the “Baptism of the Holy Spirit.” When I said, “No,” they proceeded
to lay hands on me and pray. When they did, I definitely felt something inside of me. I knew
something had happened.
When I returned home, things did not go well. It was like I was under attack from Satan.
Finally, after a series of things happened, it dawned on me; I had never heard the “plan of
salvation.” I had never accepted the atoning death of Jesus. I had never asked Jesus into
my heart!!! Which I did and ever since I’ve had the joy and peace of Jesus in my heart, plus
the comfort and guidance of the Holy Spirit.

−− PC

What/who brought me to Christ?

1948 —Radio!
1952 —In 6th grade, little girls scattered tracts in the classroom (public school). They
had bright pink and green colors. Next, they invited me to children’s “church” midweek,
held in a school classroom. Then another night, during the cold and deep snowy days, they
walked a mile along a path to my house for me —there was no road there. My mother said,
“No!”
1963 —A hitchhiking visit in Jerusalem. It “happened” Easter week when I wasn’t even
looking at the calendar. Desired to be a sunrise awakening but partied instead and overslept.
Great sadness and disappointment. Found an Anglican church service, had communion
—without having been baptized. Had peace, direction and desire to find a Christian body.
1964 —Took baptism and confirmation classes. Told my mother. She was sad: “You are
leaving us! Separating yourself from us and our culture!” Yes, I did what God was leading
me to do to follow Him.
1968-2000 —Mom and my father both became believers. Died knowing the Lord.

−− F
48
Life is Hard
 

Abandoned and Alone

I was in foster homes all my life and being abused. There was no one to help me. My
real mother was twelve when I was born. I don’t know any of my real family at all. I’ve been
in the world by myself so long and don’t know if I’m coming or going. I was raised in church
at the age of five.
This is how I met Christ. It’s a long story. I was running from the world for a long time but
I finally stopped running when I moved to the West Coast. Life was hard but I finally asked
God to give me the strength to know who I was.
I was on drugs last year. I got invited to Lake Samm by Randel and Deloris Herd. I
stopped doing drugs on Easter of last year when I first walked in God’s door. Thank you
Jesus!
This Easter Sunday will be a year for me and I don’t do drugs anymore. I am using the
gifts God gave me. I still don’t trust people but I’m getting there. This is some of the story.
It’s a new beginning.

−− MJ

God is My Father
I have always been with God and Jesus; however, my story is a bit different. I had a
terribly violent father, which meant a childhood that is most difficult to overcome. God was
always the Father to me that my Father here on earth never was.
God saved my life so many times, I lost track. He has blessed me with everything my
heart ever desired. I asked him for my life; He gave it. I asked Him to let me give life, He
answered three times.
God has been my father truly for my entire existence. He proved it to me over and
over again. He lifted me from a life of childhood violence and terror that no human could
overcome without Him. He has answered every single prayer and guided me without my
knowing and always kept me safe.
My rewards for always believing in Him have been nothing less than abundant and real.
I have seen first-hand the miracles and works of God.

−− HE

49
God is always there
My eyes were opened and my heart was captured into a deeper walk with the Lord on
August 23, 1996. It was on that day that I learned, by receiving a phone call from my pastor,
that my husband of seventeen years and the father of my three children had just committed
suicide.
There are many details of life leading up to that tragic moment for which I will not go
into. What I will tell you is that even though our four lives were changed in a moment —I was
left to raise three children on my own, ages 15, 10 and 6, and I lost my job and we became
homeless —we have not walked these past 14 years alone.
God told me very specifically one day when I cried out to Him. I said, “I can’t do this
Lord.” He told me that He would never leave me or forsake me and He NEVER has and
NEVER will.
God brought our family to Lake Sammamish one year prior to this tragic event because
He knew that we would need the strength of believers to help us through years of recovery
and healing. The church has become our second family.
When I recount the past 14 years, two and two don’t add up correctly. The world’s
explanation of what the conclusion for us should have been is not God’s conclusion, and
never will be.
God tells us in Jeremiah 29:11…”For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans
for good, not for harm, to give you a hope and a future.” That is exactly what we are living
today, God’s hope and future for us!!!

−− BB

From death, resurrection

I still remember my first prayer to God when I was 5. “God, if you exist, please let me die
in my sleep.” Before my 13th birthday, I had been beaten (repeatedly), burned, threatened
at gunpoint, molested, stabbed and abandoned.
Attending over 16 schools before 10th grade, I was invisible, living between terror and
rage. I was an alcoholic, a drug addict, a thief, a vandal, a drop out, and a delinquent with a
history of violence. I spent my 13th birthday on the run, homeless on the streets of L.A.
I gave my life to Christ at the age 15 sitting in a street gutter in Chino, California. Not long
afterwards, I left home for good, an angry, uneducated and isolated young man, but with a
new hope from death, resurrection.
I could never point to a single event that held me to Christ. Rather I think it has been a
hundred small events over a life time. Moments of revelation, confession, mercy, forgive-
ness and grace seem sprinkled over the decades. Even so, the truth is that my journey
toward salvation has been marked with repeated and significant failure, rebellion and sin,
50
all to my own shame.
Still, when people look at my life today they see an incredible spouse, a loving family and
really well-grounded friends. I am loved, full and warm. I am blessed. While I still struggle
with ghosts from my past, it often feels like a life that I don’t deserve and I couldn’t earn.
I may never be like some of the other pillars of faith that I see at Lake Samm. I am
content to keep a low profile and pray for the leaders. I am what I am: damaged. However,
in times of prayer, I remember it doesn’t matter to God.
My story in Christ is simple: From death, resurrection; in spite of me. I am the face of
grace.

−− Anonymous

Broken
I grew up going to church every Sunday with religion forced upon me. I did everything to
contradict “His word.” I rebelled against my parents and this society, turning to drugs and
alcohol. I hated the very idea of God, because if he was real, then why is there so much
evil in the world? I worshiped and followed the life of sin. I believed in chaos —worshiped
and lived on it.
My addiction to drugs and alcohol led me to numerous drug overdoses and alcohol
poisoning. I ended up overdosing and dying on the operating table, but was brought back
to life. My mind and spirit were broken but I was alive.
I still hated and resented God for trying to kill myself and not succeeding. I was broken
to the point of putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger. The gun jammed. I cursed
God throughout my life and defied everything His kingdom stood for, but yet he wouldn’t
let me leave this disgusting life.
My belief was nothing but darkness. I was mentally destroyed …spiritually bankrupt.
I moved to Washington to start over and fix my mind. I had no desire to believe in God. I
am sober and work a rigorous 12-step program. A week before I went sober, I came to the
place where I was going to go on a shooting rampage, killing others and myself.
Instead, I locked myself in a closet, broken and distraught. I was willing to try anything.
Up until this point, I could not find something higher than me that could take my addiction
and everything I had done wrong.
Then I was introduced to Jesus Christ, who died for my addictions so I could be free. I
now try to help others achieve a more manageable life through sobriety and find a power
greater than them —and if they are willing, I introduce them to my God, our savior Jesus
Christ.

−− DM
51
 He was there
I was raised in a Christian family. I lost my faith in my early teens. I stopped chasing
after God and started drinking beer and wine, smoking cigarettes, and sleeping with girls. I
never stopped believing there was a God or in Jesus. I just stopped living for Him.
In my late 20s and through my 30s in dark, drug-infested places, He was there. I found
Alcoholics Anonymous in my late 30s and found the desire to have a relationship with
Jesus. It has taken a while for me to be OK with who I was and with who I am.
Today, I am living for Jesus as good as I can, trying to do it better than yesterday. Today,
I like me and enjoy my life.

−− K

God’s Protection
I was raised by my mom and step-dad. We didn’t go to church because my dad said
that people who went to church were a bunch of hypocrites. (I think he was referring to
smokers, drinkers and cussers.) Though my mom smoked, drank, and cussed, she still
took us kids to church on Easter. While she got flak from my dad, my sister and I got new
Easter dresses, shoes, and hats! That is my memory of church.
As a latch-key kid, I spent numerous hours of my summer days at my friend’s house,
so when she went to Vacation Bible School, I got to go with her. It was there at age 8 that I

“
intently listened to the story of how sin separated us from God,
It was at that point who Jesus was, and how we could have eternal life with God,
that things felt right. clearly illustrated on a colorful flannel-graph storyboard! It all
I was at peace made sense to me, so I prayed the prayer of salvation with one
of the leaders.
Though saved as a young girl, I still never went to church (same parents, still hypocrites).
Looking back, however, I can see clearly God’s loving protection over my life. It was when
I was a teen that my parents were fighting a lot, I was lonely, and began looking for peace,
and God. Somehow I happened to have a nice, new white King James Bible, and I was
determined to read it cover to cover. Defeat came quickly as I just didn’t understand the
difficult language.
My boyfriend was a few years older and was essentially a backslidden Christian (sowing
wild oats while at college). So when we got married, you could say that we were evenly
“yoked,” with neither of us active in our faith. God, in his faithfulness, convicted my hus-
band within 6 months of our marriage that we should go to church on Sundays. I was open,
so we went. Being concerned for my salvation, my new husband gently guided me through
a “recommitment” of my faith, while he recommitted his own. It was at that point that things
felt right. I was at peace. We were united in our faith.
52
 That was nearly 30 years ago. As I look back, I often wonder what would have become
of my life without God in it. I wonder if I would have turned to boys for acceptance, to
alcohol to cope, a divorce when things got tough?
Without God and His truths, I don’t know how I would have handled my parents’ ugly
divorce, my sweet mom’s entanglement with the law —prison —unhealthy men —alcohol
—and ultimately a young, horrible death. Seeing my mom, dad, and brothers marry and
remarry multiple times over. Having to learn that how I came to be, was the result of an
adulterous relationship and that even though “he” knew of me, he chose to walk away.
With our decision for me to be a stay-at-home mom came many sacrifices. We had to
trust God for provision month-to-month, year after year. Now, it’s entrusting our grown kids
into His trusting care (praying fervently for them!) as their faith becomes real and vital in
their own lives.
Life is hard. And I’m as much a sinner as any. So all I can do is thank Him for loving me,
forgiving me (continually), and for His never-ending faithfulness in my life.

−− Anonymous

Beauty from Ashes

I became a Christian as a young girl, but it was not until my twenties that I truly came
to understand God’s great love for me. At 22, I entered into a marriage that was very un-
healthy. During this five year marriage, I encountered a number of hardships and obstacles
that took a toll on me physically and emotionally. I lost my young mom of 55 to a more than
10-year battle with breast cancer.
Two years later, although the marriage was unhealthy, I was excited to find out one of
my dreams came true as I became pregnant. During this time, my dad became sick and we
found out that he had leukemia. During this time I miscarried, most likely due to stress, and
lost my dad three months later at a young age of 59.
At this point, I was completely overwhelmed and at my wits end. I tell people if it were
not for the grace of God and His faithfulness to carry me when I could not carry myself, I
would not be here today.
After the loss of my parents and the end of my marriage, I decided to pursue a love for
midwifery I had since high school, and began taking classes in hopes to eventually become
a Nurse Practitioner Midwife. In 2004, I entered into another marriage and was blessed by
God to become a stepmom to the most amazing girls.
It was during this marriage that I opted to quit school to focus on the relationship. I
had tried to take classes but kept having to withdraw as it was at the time too difficult for
me to focus on both. As this marriage ended, I thought to myself, how in the world could
God ever use me? Married twice, divorced twice. I had multiple W’s on my transcript from
53
withdrawing from classes. God is so gracious and faithful and had a much bigger plan than
I could see myself.
After this marriage ended, I once again had the desire within me to go back to school,
but was also scared to take these difficult classes I had withdrawn from so many times.
God began building a seed, a faith, within my soul to ask my boss if I could reduce my
hours per week to take these last two classes. My boss miraculously told me I could drop
my hours from 40 to 12 a week. I took these two classes, ending the quarter very success-
fully, and received acceptance into the nursing program of my choice!
As I was finishing nursing school and searching for nursing jobs in the spring of 2009,
God began building a passion within me to work in a maternity clinic in the Philippines. I
believe without a doubt that doors were being shut in Washington for nursing jobs as God
wanted to grant me my 17-year desire to become a midwife.
God allowed me the opportunity to go to Cebu City, Philippines for six months to work
in a midwifery clinic as a Registered Nurse delivering babies. God’s faithfulness blows
me away. He allowed me opportunities while in the Philippines to share my story and to
minister to those who are hurting and experiencing losses, miscarriages, and difficult
relationships.
God still uses me even when I don’t always think I am worthy or deserving to be used.
He daily reminds me that I am loved by Him and that He cares so much for me. I believe
God allowed these trials and circumstances in my life to be a testimony to others of His
faithfulness and love for me.
My life verse comes from Jeremiah 29:11 —“For I know the plans I have for you, declares
the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to bring you a hope and a
future.” God’s word is truth!

−− KA

Kept alive during rebellion

During emotional battles of divorce/custody in 1976, I began a Ph.D. in Illinois. Academ-
ics, my drug/god to numb the pain of my messed-up life, was where I hid from God, every-
one, and myself. Self was also my god. During my 2nd semester, burnout due to stresses of
work, studies, and godlessness led me to quit the program and return home to Arkansas.
A series of Godly interventions led me 500 miles away to the meeting of a ministry I
supported. There I was born again and filled with the Holy Spirit. Without my follow-up in a
church for Christian discipleship/ fellowship, I returned to my old lifestyle.
Jesus then used two major health crises to show me how much He loved me despite
my sins: healing from low blood sugar with fainting spells, and a grapefruit-sized cyst on
54
my left ovary requiring surgery. I prayed and received many prayers. JESUS HEALED
ME BEFORE SURGERY! For the 1st time, I KNEW that JESUS LOVES ME BECAUSE HE
TOUCHED ME!
He was there all the time—waiting for a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with me. It wasn’t
about church membership alone. I was baptized at age 10. I now know He cares about
every area of my life and is worthy of my praise/worship because He kept me alive through-
out my rebellion.
My baptism on May 24, 2009, sealed this. He inspires me to use my Master of Divinity
ministry degree (1986) for His glory to love Him and love others into His kingdom as He
continues His work in me.

−− DH

God is Love
When I was in high school, I started going to a youth group with a few of my friends. I
wasn’t going for God. I was going because my friends were. I was also in a relationship at
this time with a boy. I was so excited. This was my first relationship where someone loved
me!
As the relationship continued, things started to get weird. This person that I thought I
loved so much began to say things to me that should never leave a person’s mouth. “You’re
fat and ugly.” “You can’t leave me because no one else will want you.” I was confused. Then
he began to shove me around and force me to perform sexual acts that I did not want to
do.
As this was happening to me, I knew it wasn’t right, but what could I do? I was more
afraid of being alone than of being abused. As I continued to attend that youth group,
I began to actually hear the words spoken at sermon time. I began to realize that this
relationship I was in was NOT love. GOD is love.
I was lucky. God made me stubborn and I mean stubborn. I wasn’t ever raped. I was
given the strength to get out of that situation before that happened. I realized that with God
loving me like He does, it would never be OK for a man to treat me poorly.
My walk with God has not been without struggle. None of my family is Christian; my
mom would even declare herself an atheist. But I find my strength in my family of new birth
because God has so much planned for me. He revealed Himself to me because I deserve
better. Because the plans He has for me are so much bigger than that beaten 16-year-old
girl.

−− LP
55
Out of the Snake Pit
My older brother and sister told me a big, fat lie when I was five years old. They said that
Santa Clause was really your mom and dad. I asked my Sunday school teacher at the
Unitarian Church if that was true.
“Is Santa really your mom and dad?” I asked.
She replied, “Sweetie, Santa is anyone you want him to be.” My eyes glazed over. What
the heck did that mean?
Close to Easter that year I saw the coloring book page of my table partner in kindergar-
ten and asked him who the guy was that he was coloring. “It’s Jesus, stupid.”
Well, I’d heard of Jesus at the Unitarian Church, but not in such a way that he would war-
rant his own coloring book page. So I asked my Sunday school teacher who Jesus was.
“Well, honey, Jesus is anyone you want him to be.”
I stared at her, my eyeballs stuck in neutral. “But that’s what you said about Santa
Clause,” I replied. The Unitarians lost credibility with me on the spot, but a lifelong pursuit
of, and passion for, the truth was launched.
For twelve more years I pondered about Jesus while living in a home situation that my
brother and sister enthusiastically described to friends as more of a snake pit than a family.
I couldn’t argue, although I wanted it not to be true, and found a wondrous escape at 17
when I went with a friend to a very cool Christian camp in Canada. Our real reason for going
was to meet cute guys.
The evening speaker shocked me by saying that we could have a personal relationship
with Jesus. I asked my friend, “How do you have a relationship with a 2,000-year-old dead
guy?” Asking the speaker was not an option. I didn’t want my eyeballs to solidify again,
Unitarian-style. My friend loaned me a book and that night I read about unconditional love,
a description that perfectly dovetailed with the speaker’s message. I recognized the truth
instantly and, in a heartbeat, received Christ.
I thought my brother and sister had told me a big, fat lie, but they hadn’t. What they did
was set in motion God’s plan for truth in my family, as well as their own pathway to freedom
in knowing Jesus themselves.

−− TR

Heart of Stone
I was born in El Salvador, the second of five children, and the only daughter. I was a
happy and blessed child, without any cares in the world. This, however, changed when I
was five years old and my dad left the country (El Salvador) to come to America in search
of a “better life for us.” A civil war was taking place at that time (1975), making it unbearable
to continue living there due to the possibility of death, robbery, or kidnappings.
56
 My parent’s plan was for my dad to save enough money and obtain the required docu-
mentation for us to reunite with him in America within a year or two. Unfortunately, after 5
years it was evident that the plan failed. Later on my mother decided to join my father and
left us with our single aunt, who promised to care for us.
My aunt claimed to be “Christian” but did not live a Godly lifestyle. She constantly
abused us physically and verbally. My parents sent us money, but we never received it

“
because our aunt spent most of it on herself. Despite
these horrors, she was still religious and would not I knelt down and asked
miss a single day of church. God to heal my heart and
My brothers and I began to see God through her to help me forgive my aunt
eyes —a God of fear and punishment, an indifferent
God. Having God portrayed in such a manner, I can remember at times not wanting to
know anything about God. This lifestyle continued for about seven years.
When our parents finally brought us to America, I was fifteen years old. I was emotionally
disturbed, illiterate, and malnourished. My parents did not know of our suffering until just
before they sent for us. They were shocked to hear all the abuse we experienced from our
aunt. In desperations, my parents turned to God and began attending a Christian church
regularly in hope that my brothers and I would accept Christ and be restored.
In Ezekiel 37:26, God says that He will remove our hearts of stone and give us a heart of
flesh. I was so bitter toward my aunt and resented God for allowing this abuse to happen
to us. One day after the sermon, the pastor made an alter call, which I answered. He was
talking about God’s power and His plan for us.
I knelt down and asked God to heal my heart and to help me forgive my aunt. I pleaded
with Him to remove the burden of my painful past. As I was praying that night, a warm fire
came over me, tears of joy filled my eyes and a sense of hope overtook me.
Jeremiah 29: 11 says, “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God is faithful to
His promises and from that point on, He began to transform my life by the renewing of my
mind, through His word, and also by positioning certain key people in my path who became
spiritual mentors to me.
I got married to the man of my dreams twenty-one years ago, have two beautiful daugh-
ters who are my pride and joy, became a Registered Nurse, and have had the privilege to
serve in every church we have been part of. I am so thankful for Jesus Christ who died for
my sins so I could have life in abundance.

−− MM

57
I Have Hope
When I was 19, my best friend and I were sitting on the beach talking about why our
lives seemed so empty. We had both quit partying so much, thinking that would help, but
it wasn’t. Neither of us could think of anything else.
I can’t remember which one of us, but one of us said, “Maybe we’re missing God in our
lives.” At that moment, we both knew that was it! We sat on the beach for hours talking and
crying.
From that point on, God was in my life and I had hope. Not to say it hasn’t been a hard
road, but I always have hope.

−− SC-L

God Has Always Been By My Side

I was raised a Mormon (Latter Day Saints). I always believed in God but never saw him
truly, only rules and traditions. I was a troubled kid growing up. I was the second oldest of
5 kids. I was into drugs, etc.
My Father and Stepmother sent me to a boy’s home at 14 years old. There I learned
more about God as it was a Baptist boy’s home. Despite the racism and prejudices against
people of color, etc., I learned what it was to receive Christ. At 16, I came home! I was then
kicked out of the house and lived on the streets for 2 years in Southern California.
One day, a friend said I needed God to truly change and get my life back. I had nothing
to lose and asked for Christ to come into my life! I felt a peace and love as never before. My
salvation didn’t change my life right away, but my heart was changed.
Eventually I got off the streets and God has carried me and been with me until now! My
story is much longer, but the best of it is, I have a God who has forgiven me and loves me
always. I have not always made the best choices in life, but God has always stayed by my
side through everything! He loves me, this I know!

−− ZR

Cold, Wet, and Alone

Cold, wet, and alone off the coast of Alaska, I wondered what had got me in this pre-
dicament. I was asked to go commercial fishing on a 52’ Seining Boat. With no hesitation, I
said, “yes.” I knew it would be hard but felt I needed to do it. It was worse than I expected.
I didn’t have the comfort of a good relationship. There was no one to talk to. I was alone.
My Mom made me pack a small Bible with me. I still remember the verse that got me
through it all. “So rejoice in your suffering, because suffering produces perseverance, per-
58
severance produces character, character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint
us in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 5:3-5)
Jesus became very real to me. God touched me and showed Himself to me on that trip.
It’s sad that it takes time of terror to long for God, but I know He is real.

−− CC

Found God in His Word

I grew up in a very traditional church. I knew God historically but not personally. In
moving, I found real disappointment in what I expected (the new place) would be. I experi-
enced great depression and overdosed to commit suicide.
Someone in my church invited me to go to Bible Study Fellowship. As I pored over my
lesson weekly, I found reading God’s word just how much He loved me. I invited Him in to
take over my life. My depression immediately left and I have never experienced it again.
God changed me, changed my marriage, our lives and the lives of our children. We all
received the baptism of the Holy Spirit and now everyone serves the Lord. We really love
Him and are so grateful for how He has changed our lives.

−− Anonymous

I Choose Life
I grew up going to church and was raised in a Christian family, but turned to my own
way in my mid-teen years. Church became a side activity to more exciting things life had to
offer, and Jesus was put on the sidelines.
I didn’t know who I was; I fell into an abusive relationship when I was still very young that
had me questioning everything I was raised to believe. I felt trapped and alone, losing my
own identity, letting (my boyfriend) mold me into exactly what he wanted. I stumbled into
a marriage I wasn’t ready for, and found myself soon going through a nasty divorce that I
couldn’t deal with.
I started becoming even more self-destructive and used alcohol and drugs as a way
to cope. I went down a path of promiscuity, being hurt by even more abusive men. After a
while, my whole life revolved around alcohol, drugs, and men, which left me feeling broken
and ashamed.
I didn’t know who I was at all anymore, and it kept getting worse until I recently hit rock
bottom and had no choice but to give everything up to God. I couldn’t even recognize who
I was anymore; I hated the person I became.

59
 The lifestyle that looks so fun can suck you into its hole, only to leave you poor, stupid
and alone. I didn’t realize how many relationships I had ruined, or how much money I’d lost,
until I was set free from it.
I’m only 22 days sober, and it is only by the grace of God, because I can’t do it by myself.
Every day I have to make the decision to follow Him. I find myself spiritually attacked and
tempted more than ever, but now, since I know how important it is to be in relationship with
Jesus, I won’t take the easy way out anymore. It’s a matter of life and death, and I choose
life.

−− Anonymous

I Don’t Have To Hurt Alone

I never knew how much I truly needed God in my life until I hit rock bottom. I come from
a dysfunctional past… For as long as I can remember I’ve been in abusive relationships;
physical, emotional, and sexual. All of this can put a lot of wear on a person’s soul.
I lost sight of who I was. I was a stranger in my own skin. I was disgusted with myself.
My self-esteem was at its lowest. I felt alone and didn’t know how to cope with the stress
of unfortunate events that happened.
I turned to drugs and alcohol. I went down a path of self-destruction. I lost everything
I had known; my family, friends, Christ, my job, and my home. I had nothing. I moved to
Washington to better my life and get sober. I became homeless, found myself in another
abusive relationship.
So I stand here before you feeling broken, lost and unworthy; a beautiful disaster. I
couldn’t deal with the pain and sorrow anymore. I broke down and prayed. I asked God to
help me let go and to come into my life. At that moment, my body had goose bumps. I felt
His presence. I knew I didn’t have to hurt alone.
From that point forward, I decided to rededicate my life to God. As a result, I see how
God works in his little miracles. I’m rebuilding lost relationships and learning to forgive
myself and let go.

−− Anonymous

He Cannot Let Go
Growing up in a large family and with different views regarding God, religion and belief
can be a challenge for a young person.
For a very long time, I was confused and did not know what I believed in and somehow
all (beliefs) looked the same to me. Until my elder sister came to Christ, there was this big
60
change in her life that we all wanted to know more about. We started having bible studies
and we would ask her question after question. I marveled at how she responded. Eventu-
ally, I also gave my life to the Lord.
Life was good and I was enjoying my new experience with the Lord until I joined campus.
Things started changing and by-and-by I backslid in my walk with Christ, and got into
alcoholism. My sister and mom kept praying for me and talking to me to get right with the
Lord. This time it was more difficult to come to realization that I was on the wrong path.
After graduating from campus, I had a girlfriend. I introduced her to my family, and
before long she was a good friend to my sister, and soon she gave her life to the Lord.
There I was, surrounded by three women praying and talking to me to reconsider my walk
with the Lord.
The wake-up call came when my girlfriend fell so ill, she had severe lung infections that
ended up with the collapse of her left lung. Even to her death, she stared at me and just
said, “I love you and God loves you, too.” She went on to be with the Lord on 01/01/2001.
This was the worst thing to ever happen to me. I was taken aback and thought my life
had come to an end. My family was very supportive; my sister guided me to a Christian
counseling center, the Healing Fountain. Through prayer and counseling, I was able to turn
back to the Lord.
There is one thing that I came to learn through all these experiences: GOD LOVES ME.
He could not let me go and always provided opportunities to get right with Him. He rewards
those who diligently seek him. (Hebrews 11:6)

−− G

I Couldn’t Keep Up
My story starts off fairly simple… I was blessed to be raised knowing Christ from my
earliest memory. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know that there was a God —and
that He cared about my life. I grew up going to church every Sunday and when I was 4, I
officially “asked Jesus into my heart.”
From the outside, my family looked like a happy Christian family. There was a lot of pain
and hurt going on within. Since I was adopted, I always felt that I owed something to my
family for taking me in… and I never felt secure in being loved… because I was afraid that if
I did something wrong, they would send me back and it would all be taken away.
There came a time when I couldn’t hold it together anymore… I couldn’t keep up, and
things started falling apart. I got my first B, and was so devastated I tried to kill myself that
night. I took a bunch of pills, but they didn’t do the trick, and I woke up the next morning
just feeling horrible.

61
 Through the years I continued to struggle with depression, and I tried different kinds
of counseling, and lots of prayer to work through it. Even though I had grown up knowing
God, and believing in Him —it just wasn’t enough to stop the raging flood of dark thoughts
and feelings that seemed to overtake my life. All the Bible stories I had grown up with didn’t
bring comfort —they brought confusion and doubt. How could this God who is LOVE allow
me to feel such intense pain?
I didn’t feel loved by Him —I felt forgotten and lost, and unworthy. I felt like He was
punishing me for not being good enough and failing so much. There were things I had done
that I just couldn’t forgive myself for, and I felt like I was too far gone to ever be OK again.
I finally had a major “crash” and almost completely stopped functioning. I went days
and even weeks without even leaving my room. I would just cry and cry and beg God to
let me die. By this point, suicide was a constant thought, and I just wanted to figure out
a surefire way to do it that would be completely successful. I didn’t want to survive an
attempt; I wanted it to be over, for good.
Somewhere along the way, I received a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder and ADD and

“
started taking medication. I struggled with the
I knew He was there with me… diagnosis and did a lot of research to try to un-
in the pit with me derstand. I went to support groups and learned
—I was not alone anymore so much from other people who shared similar
stories.
I remember one time I was trying to read the Bible, and I just got so mad, I threw the
Bible down on the floor and screamed —“You’re wrong —It’s not true —I’ve been lied to all
my life and I don’t believe you anymore!” It was so scary to me to feel such intense anger
at God —the one constant thing in my life that I had always held onto.
What did this mean? Had I completely lost my faith? In reality, I think that was a turning
point… I had always been so concerned about doing everything right that I had never really
been honest with God. I think I needed that breaking point to finally come before the Lord
and truly pour out my feelings to Him and give Him all the icky, awful places of my heart and
say all the harsh, uncensored things that I’d always been afraid to say out loud.
There was honesty between us that had never been there before, and even though I still
didn’t understand why I was going through all this —I knew He was there with me… in the
pit with me —I was not alone anymore.
The truth is God has always made sure that I’ve never been alone. He has always sur-
rounded me with quality people. I was held up by people who just believed in me and stood
by me when I couldn’t see any value in me at all.
They saw beyond the moment, they saw beyond my pain and hurt, and they saw the
HOPE that God was faithful. I honestly don’t know if I would have made it without that small
group and this church. I owe so many people in this church my life —literally.

62
 GRACE is an amazing thing. We all need it, and we all don’t deserve it. And yet, God
overwhelms us with it. My life is one great big example of GRACE. I am only here because
of GRACE.

−− CG

Deep Pain, Deep Peace

I have been on the run since about age 11 due to physical and mental abuse at home
from my mother’s husband. During my childhood, I had a higher power whom I called God,
but I did not know the true God. I church- and religion-hopped like people bar-hop. I grew
up attending Methodist and Unitarian Churches. I never remember hearing about Jesus; it
was more about being a Good Samaritan.
At age 12 I was molested by a 22 year-old at knife point. At age 13, I got into drugs
and alcohol. I was torn between good and evil. I used to be heavy in witchcraft books,
fascinated by Satan and walked around with the nickname, “Satan’s wife.”
During that time, I attended a Halloween party at a Catholic Church and on Sunday
morning after the service, at 14 years of age, was told by a priest that I was going to hell for
taking communion when I wasn’t Catholic. Although I wasn’t a believer, “something” in me
knew that was wrong, so I moved on.
From there I met with Mormon missionaries, and on my last meeting with them, again
“something” said that this was not the Truth. I felt really confused and lost. I ran from home
and moved in with my dope dealers and continued in that lifestyle until I was 17, when I met
my son’s father.
From the dope house I jumped into a very violent relationship. My son’s father was
physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually abusive. My whole world got flipped upside
down and I lost myself in the process. There are no words to explain the pain and darkness
I was in and went through. I gave birth to our son in 1996 and in the summer of 1998 (my
son’s father) assaulted both my son and me. From that moment on, I never looked back.
In 2001, I got involved with what I consider to be a cult. However, it was through meeting
with the “cult” leader that I came to know the true God. Yes, that is how amazing our Lord
is! (Even) through the lies I heard and recognized that “something,” the Holy Spirit, that had
been with me on my journey all along. I was utterly in love with Christ!
My story does not end there, though. I have had the worst dark moments and pain in
my Christian walk. In 2006, I went through a horrific custody battle. Due to a faulty justice
system and me not having the money for an attorney, I lost custody of my son. I was 12
years sober at the time and had taken my son’s father to court three times for physical
abuse, but none of that seemed to matter.

63
 That was the most devastating moment of my life. I felt completely forsaken and aban-
doned by God. Never in a million years would I have thought that my son’s father would get
custody or that during the process God would allow that to happen to me. I spent countless
nights in the fetal position, willing myself to die, crying out to God, begging Him that if He
really loved me, He would kill me.
Well, I didn’t give up, nor did God allow me to give up. I kept going to church, I wor-
shipped Him during the storm through my pain and then I got to my turning point in my
journey. During another one of my fetal-position nights, when the pain was so overwhelm-
ing I could no longer breathe, I felt God blow the breath of life into me. I wasn’t forsaken or
abandoned; God himself was breathing for me, taking every breath for me.
The closeness I felt to our Creator after that is indescribable. I needed to know the true
God, for in the summer of 2007, I was raped by a man I just had started dating who claimed
he was a pastor. During the rape, God took me and sheltered me under His wing. It was
my body lying there, but ultimately it was God who was taking the rape for me. I felt the
heartache our Lord experienced when He had to release me back into my body. To sum
it up, there is a living God who wants nothing more than to take you in His arms and heal
all your brokenness. Please… take Christ’s hand and join me on the journey to everlasting
peace and walk in His Love.

−− CM

SURPRISE—SHAME—SURRENDER
I was once surprised so badly that the fruit of that surprise is still with me—50 years
later! You see, I made a vow when I was 13 years old that rejection and abandonment would
NEVER again SURPRISE me. I would anticipate them before they ever occurred… not a
conscious decision, but still a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I experienced both physical and sexual abuse in early childhood. At age 13, I witnessed
at close range the suicide of my alcoholic father. My mother had taken us three children to
Sunday school, and when I was nine I received Christ. But even so, my father’s suicide left
me deeply depressed and suicidal, issues which I occasionally still battle.
In a childish attempt to make sense of the senseless, I believed that what happened to
my father was my fault, that I could have done or said something to prevent him from pulling
the trigger. As that conviction became set in the stone of my wounded heart, I became
withdrawn, angry, and bitter, concluding I must have been a serious mistake since even my
own father “hated” me so much he chose to end his life rather than live it with me in it.
In college I was involved with radical student groups, and became a rabid feminist.
I perceived that every man in my life had abused and rejected me and I was filled with
hatred. Even though I was by then 20 years old, inside I was still just a little girl looking for
64
someone to love and accept me.
I was abusing alcohol and using street drugs and became convinced that I would be
dead by the time I was 30. God later gave me Psalm 27:13 as a promise, “I am still confi-
dent of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.”
I easily fell prey to the lie that I had to prove myself worthy of love. Manipulated by a
liar and user (they didn’t call them predators in those days, but predator he was), I made
some really bad choices. I dropped out of college, abased myself in a life that matched
my lower-than-dirt self-image. The life on which I embarked landed me in jail and in court
nearly as often as I was on the street; it ultimately resulted in prison time. I have paid dearly
for believing that lie.
When I celebrated my 30th birthday, I was still living this nightmare of SHAME and vio-
lence (both as victim and as agent). While I was in prison, my dear Mother came to Christ.
For years she prayed a Mother’s prayer for me until I finally stopped running and hiding
and committed my life into the keeping of the One who I would someday learn to know as
Abba, my Daddy.
The symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress and resultant memories do not always go away
just because you are born again. It’s usually a process. Even though I was a strong believer,
worshipping and serving a loving God, and was involved in a wonderful church, the events
of my 13th summer produced nightmares and flashbacks. I was still depressed and sui-
cidal, and cried out to God to prevent me from taking my life. He has had to remind me of
that prayer many times over the years.
Even though I had a rich personal relationship with Jesus and the Holy Spirit, I just
couldn’t get my mind wrapped around a loving “Father-God.” God gave me just what I
needed to produce an immediate worldview change: In a supernatural experience I call my
spiritual brain surgery, He removed much of the toxic hatred that had crippled me.
In another vision, He allowed me to have a conversation with my Dad quite different
from our last exchange in the natural. He showed me how great His love for His child is, and
taught me how to love my Abba Father. I learned that Father God loves to involve Himself
in SURPRISING ways in our lives.
God continues this deep “inside-out” work. I am the person I am today in part BECAUSE
I embraced my past. People have asked me how I could have done the things I did. I don’t
know, really. All I know is that God had a glorious eternal plan for me and was determined
that I would live it (see Jeremiah 29:11).
He has freed (humbled) me to openly share my story and the love and mercy Christ
showed me. Given the choice, I chose life and SURRENDERED to God. I love what God
is making me into. I love being used by Him to draw people toward new life in Christ, and
providing encouragement to those who have made similar wrong choices.

−− K.P.K.
65
 Jesus Came To Heal Me
As a strong, independent woman, I was in total control of my life. I believed in Jesus and
prayed daily because that is what I was taught to do. My prayers were not personal but
rather habitual, thanking God and asking for nothing specific except for world peace. I did
not have emotions involved in my faith. It was more of a concept and a behavior. I rarely
turned to Jesus for help, because I was strong and could handle my life all on my own.
As my oldest child reached four years old, I realized I needed to start attending church
so my children could learn about Jesus.
A few years after we began going to church, my husband’s job landed us in New Delhi,
India. As a person who does not like to leave the comforts of the typical American home for

“
a day of camping, New Delhi, India, was not
As I was in awe that Jesus came even close to my comfort zone.
to heal me. It was then that I knew This was the most difficult two years of
Jesus existed. His love is real and my life. My husband was always travelling
I can without a doubt follow Him and out with clients. I had to somehow care
for my two children, ages 8 and 4, without a
car, without my network of family, friends and doctors, without the yellow pages or Google
and no supermarket. Nothing was easy and I was no longer in control. Tired and frustrated,
I knew I had to lean on Jesus. It was time to pursue this relationship. He was my strength
and He was in control.
Over the course of these two years, I was amazed how Jesus provided for me. I rec-
ognized His presence in my life in subtle ways. All of this strengthened my belief but the
analytical part of my brain still held onto a little piece of doubt. Despite wanting to believe
and trying to believe, I was not 100% onboard. Then one day, Jesus made his presence
known to me in a way that would remove all doubt. This experience set me on a path of
pure faith and belief in His existence.
This experience came at a time when I was at a very low point. It was early October 2001
shortly after the terrorist attack on America. My children attended school on American
Embassy property and the recent weeks had brought about school closures. My husband
left the country as soon as the airways opened up in the States.
Then to make matters worse, I threw my back out. The pain was excruciating. I could not
stand without support of something to hold me up. I was deeply concerned to how I was
going to care for my children the next day. As I went to bed, I turned to Jesus in prayer and
asked that He somehow help me through the following day.
Deep down, I didn’t really expect any result to come from that prayer. After the short
prayer, I found one position on my back that was pain-free. Before closing my eyes, I
glanced at the clock. It read 9:00 p.m. Suddenly, I was awakened with a jerk of my leg. My
right leg had been in the air and had fallen to the bed.

66
 At first, I thought it was one of those dreams where your body jerks as a reaction to
the dream. Then I remembered the dream. I was lying on my back and I saw male hands
gently jerk my right leg upward. As I lay there, I realized my pain was gone. I was completely
healed. I looked at the clock and it was only 9:05 p.m. That seemed unreal as I knew I had
just been in a very deep sleep, so I checked my watch to verify the time. It was true. Only
five minutes had passed.
I stood there in amazement and kept thinking no one is going to believe me. It was a
miracle healing. There was no other explanation. At that point I could not sleep, as I was in
awe that Jesus came to heal me. It was then that I knew Jesus existed. His love is real and
I can without a doubt follow Him.

−− P

I Felt Like I Was In A Blender

I was separated from my husband. My emotions were volatile and life felt like it was in a
blender —my life was out of control and I couldn’t understand any of what was going on.
I grew up in a Christian home and even though I believed in God, I thought I had to
straighten out my life before I could ask for any kind of relationship with Him. I thought that
even asking Him for help was out of the question. I mean, I had sinned. I clearly shared the
responsibility of my marriage dissolving.
My mother-in-law had given me a book about how God could help marriages in trouble.
I treated the book like it was poison —again, God’s help was for other people —not me. I
even tried leaving the book at someone’s house, but they made sure it got back to me.
I had just moved and in the middle of a particularly lonely day, I wanted to find that book.
I opened it up and read it, crying, cover to cover. I read about people like me —people
who had sinned, people whose lives seemed hopelessly doomed to only reap the conse-
quences of bad choices.
And I read about a God who loves people right where they are. I read about a God who
was waiting for me with open arms —right then. He wanted to help me now. He wanted
relationship now. He wasn’t waiting for me to get my life together (a futile exercise without
Him!) He reached out His hand and offered to walk with me and to lead me to the life He
has for me.
I gave my life to Him that day and have gotten to know a God who loves, protects,
forgives, teaches and heals my hurts. I am forever grateful.

−− LP

67
 Like A Volcano
When I was little, there was a Bible study teacher who lived in the neighborhood of my
foster home who took me to church with her own children. My foster parents didn’t go to
church. I grew up with her kids. After foster care, I was in a group home and didn’t go to
church.
Before I knew the Lord, I was like a volcano: upset or confused. I didn’t know the Lord
until I started attending Lake Samm when we were meeting at the 173rd Avenue campus,
and I got to know Curt and Julie and you guys (referring to the Ladies’ Bible study). I got
baptized.
The result has been that I have better control of my temper. I can listen and obey the
Lord better. I learned about praying from the Northwest Tapes Ministry and I am sharing
with my roommates about the Lord. I am also learning about praying in tongues from Curt
and Dan.

−− CR

Lost
I was brought up Catholic, and the religion had suited me just fine through my life but
I really never felt truly connected. The people at my church were always trying to put on a
show or put their best foot forward. It was shameful to show how messed up you were or
expose problems in one’s family.
My parents divorced when I was 6, so going to church together was not consistent.
Moving forward, at age 15 I was forced out of my home by both my mother and the house
of my father and his new wife. I went to live with a friend I knew through High School, but

“
when their generosity faded out I would literally
I want to teach my children meet total strangers and ask them for a place
about God so that they would to live.
never get lost like I had Months of this went by. I was raped, preyed
upon, and used because I was so naive and
wanted to believe the best in people, even though I knew they were using me. I even pros-
tituted myself a few times to have money for cheap motels.
I am now 37 and I just finally understand my worth, and it was with the help of God. I feel
guilty because every time I was in need, I would cry out and ask for forgiveness of my sins,
but only when I needed Him. When life was going well, I would forget God.
After years and years of being in and out of either bad or just not positive relationships
with men, I met a wonderful man who found me. He had a deep relationship with God. I had
actually asked him if I could attend church with him, and that’s how I came to Lake Samm.

68
 I want to teach my children about God so that they would never get lost like I had. I lived
a very hard life but I believe that I am blessed and that I was meant for much more.
The thing I like best about Lake Samm is that most people here are very “real.” It’s not
about how great they want others to think they are, but I think they are more into showing
others how much we are all the same. We have the same challenges, sins, trials, and
troubles in life.
I will admit that growing up Catholic, some of the Christian practices seem strange to
me, but the bottom line is the people here are genuine and kind. Something must be right
about this Parish!

−− Anonymous

69
God gives strength
God woke me up
I was in a place I thought I’d never be in. I was living with my girlfriend at the time and
often felt convicted about the choices I was making in life.
One day, God woke me up and gave me the courage needed to break the chains keep-
ing me from walking in God’s glory. In fact, I was at band practice on Wednesday telling
my singer I needed to get out even if it meant couch-hopping. 2 hours later, I get a phone
call from a friend that informs me that they have a room to fill in a house of God-loving
musicians and a one-passenger van to move my stuff.
Since then, I’ve been letting God dominate my life and it’s been AWESOME!

−− BN

Power to Face Many Trials

I have been in many trials in my life and the Lord, Jesus Christ, has given me power to
overcome all. I am now living with my family and am very happy. I believe that those trials
could have kept me from faith but I was crying out and praying to the Lord to show me the
way to overcome them.
My life was very unhappy at the time of the trials but I heard God’s voice telling me, “I
AM here and I will help you.” That made me very strong. I kept praying and eventually God
did all He said He would do. It’s a real life experience that no one could do but God. I thank
the Lord, Jesus Christ, for all He has done in my life!

−− NJL

I love the things I used to hate

In 1991, I moved with my family from California to Washington. Prior to the move, I had
spent the better part of 6 years stoned every day. I brought a bag of pot with me on the
plane. I smoked the pot on the trails behind the Residence Inn because we were staying
there as we waited for our house to get completed.
One night in my hotel room, I had an overwhelming thought that I needed to flush my
pot down the toilet, so I did. I immediately began to experience spiritual warfare and felt
sick. I hit my knees and began to pray. God delivered me from smoking pot and every other
physical sinful habit that day (with the exception of one —it took me a couple weeks to get
70
free of that and it required intense cooperation with the Holy Spirit to renew my mind).
The fact that God loved me, the presence of healthy and holy fear, and the knowledge
of God’s omniscience was lavished on me by His grace. I did not receive that grace in vain!
The result is that I love the things I used to hate, and I hate the things I used to love. WOW,
that’s God! I started growing in a joy that is nothing less than supernatural.
The semester before Jesus became my Lord (Master), I had a 1.0 GPA, but that turned
into a 4.0 the next semester. It hasn’t been a bed of roses since then, but I have seen God
work ALL things together for my good as I have loved Him (obeyed), and got on board with
His purpose (conformity to His image).

−− DH

Power to Overcome
I was a drug addict, alcoholic, and had several other addictions. I had struggled with
these addictions from childhood. I was disgusted with myself and my life. I hated every-
thing about me.
My wife had started going to a Christian church and would come home on Sundays and
tell me she was praying for me and loved me. That would make me mad. After a while, I
started wondering how she could do that! I was brought up to know who God was and how
He was going to judge me later, but had no idea about the Jesus part my wife always kept
talking about, and that He loved me and wanted to help me. We argued about it every day.
I am not kidding… everyday!
I was given little pamphlets all the time with a story of someone’s life and how they had
asked Jesus into their life and they were delivered from some bondage or another and set
free. On my way to work one day (I was taking the bus at the time) I read one of those stories
and decided I would finish it on the way home, since I already knew the ending. I did read
the rest of the story on the bus on the way home.
As I walked home from the bus stop to my house, I decided to try it out. As I walked I
prayed and asked Jesus into my life and for Him to take the desire to drink and do drugs
away. That was 23 years ago, and I have been clean and sober ever since without one
second of ever thinking there was a reason or desire, ever!!
That led me to the ability to deal with all the other many issues and addictions I struggled
with. As the Holy Spirit revealed things to me a little at a time, I turned them over to Him and
He gave me the victory in many areas of my life. Praise God! It is a constant journey!

−− MV

71
God’s Faithfulness
I grew up in a home with two Christian parents. My extended family has a strong dedica-
tion and powerful witness in the Lord. I am fortunate to have been surrounded by Christ’s
love.
I accepted Jesus at a young age. My family was also affected by divorce and alcohol-
ism. I guess I’m just trying to say that we truly loved God and were a truly and deeply flawed
family in many ways.
Over the years, I kept pursuing my relationship with the Lord. I’ve seen many miracles
in my own life and my family. Praise the Lord for His faithfulness to do a good work in me
and my family.

−− AV

To Conquer Anything
I was born and raised in Alaska in a Catholic family. I went to church every Sunday
and even attended Catholic private school. After graduating, I moved to Seattle to attend
beauty school. I distanced myself from God, simply due to lack of motivation on finding a
new church.
After almost 2 years of living in Seattle, I was introduced to a man named Cris by my
roommates. I soon fell in love with him and he shared with me his love for God and let me
know how important it was to him to have God’s love in his life.
I soon had an awakening, that I had somewhere in my life lost the importance of God’s
presence. This saddened me and I felt a strong desire to want to share God’s love with Cris.
I wanted our relationship to be strong in God’s love.
I now see the importance of a relationship with God in my life, and for that I am thankful.
With God’s strength, we can conquer anything.

−− MS

72
God fills the deepest need
Lost and Looking for Love
At 26 years old, I was lost. I had searched for love, acceptance and a purpose for my
love. In many different ways, I always let myself down. I really didn’t think my life was worth
living.
When I heard and understood that I didn’t have to live with the guilt of my mistakes, that
there was a father that loved me unconditionally forever, and that Jesus’ sacrifice on the
cross was the provision given to me to live guilt-free and totally loved, I accepted Jesus
and His grace.
It was then that I realized that God created me for a purpose. From that day on, I am
being transformed to live that purpose, and the greatest gift of all is that I have learned
through my step of faith that I have a faithful father who loves me and is always with me.
His grace is sufficient for me. I can be content, experience His peace through hardships
and be in the presence of my source of joy.

−− SC

God Moments
I had been married for 4 years, my first child was two years old. I wasn’t happy. I was
unhappy with my marriage, but more than that, I was unhappy with myself. I didn’t like who
I was. I was angry a lot.
I believed in God, had been to church, had even said the “salvation prayer,” but nothing
changed inside. My sister asked me to come to a weekend retreat with her through her
church. I went. I was alone by a river praying when it all became very clear to me. I cried out
to the Lord, “Jesus, I don’t like myself. I don’t want to live for myself. I want to live for You.”
I felt the Holy Spirit like I had never felt before. I knew without a doubt that God loved me
and He really did send His son for ME!
That was 16 years ago. The road for me has not been easy. The thing that I truly live for
are those moments, that feeling of truly knowing without a doubt that God loves me. It is
in those moments that I know that everything is going to be OK, no matter what I’m going
through. Thank you Jesus!

−− TE

73
 God was always there
My testimony stems from a desire to be accepted. It started in my childhood. I did not
feel accepted, love, encouragement or the “freedom to be myself.” As I grew up, I turned to
other things to satisfy the emptiness. I kept the letter of the law with my parents, especially
my Dad. Like in the Bible, the harder it became the more the people failed. This was a huge
hurdle for me. I needed God’s help.
The path I took to fill my desire to be accepted led me into drug abuse for many years
that starting in Junior High. My dyslexia kept me from being a good reader; I injured my
knee twice in sports, so my only option seemed to be drugs. Day by day, choice by choice,

“
I found myself in “the bucket of boiling water”
My eyes were opened and with everything on the line. I thought my options
I realized there were people were… prison, homelessness or death. The drug
that loved and cared for me, addiction was taking all I had!
but I wouldn’t let them in God was there, too. I found a Gospel tract
someone had left in a public place. When I read
it, I cried out to God for help. My eyes were opened and I realized there were people that
loved and cared for me, but I wouldn’t let them in. God changed my thinking and with it
came healing. I needed to “hit the bottom” and turn to God and never go backwards.
I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior in August of 1987. God also spoke to me about
how I was thinking about my Dad and all the problems I had with him. That revelation freed
me from the anger, frustration and hatred I had towards him.
God was always there. Through all the pain and problems I went through. God loved
me and was trying to let me know in small, sometimes silent, sometimes obvious ways. So,
what about you?

−− JA

Purpose of Life
I came to know the Lord more fully in the summer of 1976 as the result of 3 separate
but related events. First, I attended a bible class at my church which convinced me of the
historical reality and influence of Jesus.
Second, the Rev. Jesse Jackson was running for president and his speech at the con-
vention helped me understand we are all better off when we are all better off, and I could
help in a small but significant way.
I saw the Rev. Billy Graham speak and he tied it all together —God’s huge love for me
with the idea that only I could do what God had planned for me to do, to spread Jesus’
work in the world.

74
 It all made sense to me, and so I was open to Jesus touching my heart in a much deeper
way. Since then, my life has been a journey of trying to learn more about Him and to do
what He needs to do, no matter what.

−− DD

Healed
My father died November 5, 2005. I started having anxiety attacks and depression. I did
not want to live but I did not want to die, either. I just could not stand the pain anymore.
I went into the church on one of my walks to Crossroads Mall to pray in the little Chapel.
I prayed in the Chapel and cried for Jesus to take the pain away. When I saw the pastor, I
told him about my Dad. He prayed over me. Then I started coming to the church regularly
on Sundays. I have been healed in many ways because of Jesus and the church.

−− MB

Why
I was sitting on a beach in Kona, Hawaii. It was early in the morning and no one else was
around. I was thinking about how strange it was to be far from home and wondering why
God brought me to Kona to be a part of YWAM.
Just before I got up to leave, a big bird flew over me and then just hovered in the air. It
wasn’t flapping its wings, just stretched out and gliding in the wind. I felt a warm mist come
over me. This is why I am here: to learn to fly like an eagle, God says, without struggle. Two
days later, I met a man there in Kona. We talked a few times and I thought about him a lot
after I left Kona.
That was almost 5 years ago. Today, March 28th, is our two-year wedding anniversary.
I sit here writing this with his child in my belly. It was as simple as following God to Kona
and not knowing why —and effortlessly, on wings of eagles, letting God unfold the miracle
of my life.

−− JH

My Life Was Spared

In the fourth grade, I became sick the week before Easter. I had flu-like symptoms and
lost 15% of my body weight that week. On Good Friday, my mother stayed home with me
instead of going to the community service where my Dad was preaching.
75
 That night, I experienced the most excruciating pain of my life. My gut felt like it was
splitting apart and burning up from a hot blade within me. I remember my mother hold-
ing me and praying that I would sleep. Then, despite the pain, I entered into a deep and
peaceful sleep. I felt better when I awoke yet I remained confined to the home all of Easter
weekend.
On Monday, we went to the doctor since I showed no signs of improvement. Within
minutes, I was diagnosed with appendicitis. I was extremely dehydrated and spent the
night with an IV before having surgery the next day.
After a complicated procedure that lasted hours longer than expected, my parents heard
the news: my appendix burst on Good Friday yet an Easter miracle prevented the poison
from infiltrating my weak body because some mysterious gelatin substance surrounded
my appendix and contained the poison.
That weekend my life was spared and during the ensuing summer, I fully gave my life
Christ. Now whenever Easter arrives, I can celebrate the saving of my life —one for this
world and for the next.

−− AH

God is in Control
My family has never really had a lot of money. Our biggest struggle financially was
during the last three years of elementary school. My Dad was out of work and the only job
he could find was part-time minimum wage. The four of us lived on that income plus a little
bit that my Mom was able to make for those three years.
Though they weren’t the easiest years in many ways (no presents, no new clothes, and
countless unknown sacrifices that I’m sure my parents made), God was incredibly faithful
to us. He brought us together as a family in a powerful way. He provided when my Dad got
in a car accident and when my sister broke her arm, twice.
Most of all, He gave us all a deep peace and knowledge that He was with us and was in
control in our seemingly out-of-control situation. I know that God has a good plan for my
life and that He will be faithful, if I only trust Him.

−− MH

I Want To Know God

I was raised in a family of Christians and believed. I was baptized at the age of 7 and it
meant something to me. But as I grew and became a teenager and a young adult, I stepped
away from God. I stepped into the world, into drugs and alcohol and into selfishness. I was
76
into me and what was good to me.
But, God didn’t just let me go. I had this nagging thing that kept coming back. Once
after smoking pot, I got so paranoid that I thought I was going to die. So I started writing
down what I had really wanted. The end of that was that I realized that I wanted to know
God. That was the beginning of the path that led me back to Christ and to the church. I
turned my life back over to Him in 1971.
I’ve walked with Him these almost 40 years. I wish I could say that I’ve overcome all
the sin in my life, but I can’t. What I can say is that Christ has become the foundation, the
bedrock of my life. Whenever I fall, that bedrock is there to keep me from sinking. It has
become the foundation of my hope. When things get bad, He’s there to comfort me. When
situations occur, there is always that light of Christ shining in to lead me on.

−− Anonymous

Something Was Missing

Last summer, 2009, I felt lost. I had mothering going for me but felt stuck. I knew what I
was missing. I was missing God in my life. When I would think to myself that no one loved
me or I had no one, I was wrong.
My co-worker, Heather Foreman, invited me to her church, Lake Samm. I was nervous
because it had been years since I attended church and honestly I didn’t know a great deal
about scripture. I would say I knew the basics.
After my first visit to Lake Samm, I felt HOME. Curt, that first day, reminded me that it
may seem like no one cares or loves me, but in TRUTH God has always been there wait-
ing for me to hear His calling. And through Heather and Curt, I heard God’s calling. Each
Sunday and each passing day my heart grow fonder for His love and to live by His word
and share His word.
These years that I thought I was alone I was only fooling myself. God has been right with
me and now I am focusing on strengthening my relationship with him. I no longer feel alone
because I know God is with me.
So this Easter I have asked a family that has cared for me, fed me, clothed me, gave me
a place to live, gave me a family to call my own and gave me a place to call home, to come
to church Easter Sunday so I can share my love of God with them.
I pray that God continues to bless Heather and her family, the McKinnons and the family
of Lake Samm. For these people I have grown to love and care deeply for have loved me
and opened my ears and eyes to God. I’m on my way! Thank you all!

−− L

77
 What Am I So Afraid Of?
I did not grow up in a Christian home. I had a good upbringing, but nothing really earth-
shattering or outstanding stands out in my mind as to my spiritual state. I wasn’t a trouble-
making kind of kid just muddling through, I suppose. I never had to go without, per se; my
parents provided a very sound home environment.
But, starting in college I really began to wonder what I was missing out on. I really
began to feel a hole that couldn’t be filled with food or anything else “substantial.” My Aunt
Theresa has been a “Believer” for a long time, and I venture to guess she started praying
for me at about this time, although she never said so directly.
I went through a terribly rough patch with my folks shortly after college (probably a
by-product of a mostly non-assertive 22-year-old trying to assert her independence). This
didn’t pan out very well, which led to an unhealthy relationship with someone and a host of
other things that really weighed on my soul. This was 1996.
For five more years that weight got worse. I was treated for depression during this time,
and I had an ongoing issue with shoplifting. I’m not sure how that really got started, but I

“
imagine it was a misguided effort for attention. “Is anyone
Literally, I saw GOD really noticing me?” I often wondered. I’m sure my Aunt
Theresa was still praying for me.
In 1999, I met someone that I dated for about a year. Again, not a super healthy relation-
ship, but I wanted to try and be friends with this person after our “couple-ness” was pretty
much over. Never really works, right? Not really —no. But, what this person doesn’t know is
that it is from a conversation I had with him one night that brought me to my knees.
Now I have to back up a moment. Just after this phone call (the topic I have since
forgotten), I was compelled to literally look myself in the mirror and ask myself, “What am
I so afraid of?” I must have stared at myself for a good 40 minutes. Weird huh? Guess
what? During this 40-minute window of self-reflection, literally, I saw GOD. For about three
seconds I saw myself with a clarity I had never experienced before, and I felt nothing but
love. That GOD-sized love that only He can give. I knew it as soon as I felt it.
And I fell to my knees. I didn’t know where to start, so the best way I knew to encapsu-
late all that hurt was to say, “Lord, I am sorry for every rotten thing I’ve ever done to anyone.
If You are who You say You are, please take this angst away.” He did —right then and there.
As I live and breathe, I kid you not, that literal weight of sin was gone, off my shoulders.
The following Sunday I was at church, and when the pastor led that prayer I knew I
belonged to God. You want to know how I know? For a moment my shoulder felt warm
—there was His hand. And then, a feeling I don’t have enough words to describe, a jolt to
my entire body, every cell of my being felt this intense, highly charged jolt! If I had been
standing up, my knees would have given out; they felt weak when I stood up. That was it
—signed, sealed, delivered (pun very well intended). I consider April 22nd my 2nd birthday.
To that end, I’ll be nine this year. :)
78
 Your story might not involve such an intense 3-part experience as I did, but if you really
want to know how Jesus can change you, please have the courage to invite Him in. I
promise you’ll never regret it. Yes, I still have struggles, but nothing compared to what I
encountered before, but I am truly grateful that I have Him to help me through it.

−− HT

79
God Moments
God Speaks
About seven years ago, I was washing dishes after dinner and heard a voice talking to
me like you would be talking to a friend or someone in your family. It only happened once.
As a rule, I don’t hear voices. The speaker said, “We don’t have much time. You need to
quit your job. We have work to do.”
When I would pray before, I always would ask God to spell out clearly what he wanted
me to do. I was a pretty new Christian but I thought I should listen. That night, I called my
pastor to ask his opinion but he didn’t call back. I talked it over with my husband and felt if
this was God, I’d better do it.
I explained it to my work the next day and quit right away. I was driving by Northwest
University and it was registration time. I had absolutely no money but felt drawn to nursing.
I signed up but thought this would be a waste of time. Financial Aid and grants covered all
tuition plus $1.
I am now an RN with a BSN (Bachelor of Science in Nursing) and serve God as Director
of a Dementia Facility. I know this is where he needs me right now.

−− TJ

Meeting Dad
The stretch of road on Highway 101 from San Jose to Santa Barbara had become quite
familiar to me. I’d been traveling this road frequently the past several months to be with my
dad. But this was my last visit. The cancer in his throat had traveled too far and there just
wasn’t any more time.
I didn’t have to make this journey. I didn’t really know my dad. He wasn’t the one who
called asking for help. In fact, if I wasn’t notified by his doctor, he would have died and I
would have found out after the fact.
Yet, I had to go, more for me than for him. I desperately wanted to let go of the disap-
pointment and hurt I carried because he left my life when I was 5, and although I tried to
reach out to him when I became an adult, we could never find a way through the maze of
rejection to rebuild our relationship. But I knew this was a chance to rewrite my history, and
with God all things are possible. So I went.
I got as far as Gilroy when I heard a distinct voice within me. It said, “I have something
for you to say to your Dad.” At first, I felt grateful. God was hearing my prayers, and His
presence was with me. But just as quickly, my thoughts turned. What was I supposed to
80
say? “What, God, what?” I got nothing for the next 3 hours…
I spent most of that last weekend in Santa Barbara cleaning, cooking, and caring for
Dad. And still, I kept asking… What is it you want to say?
Finally, the time had come to leave. This was it. As he lay in his bed I held his hands
and asked if I could pray… not for him but for me. Since he denied all “religious” support
from any clergy (which usually included some profanity and a “don’t let the door hit you
on your way out”), I knew my prayer had to be about me, not him. For him, God ran a very
guilt-ridden organization, creating subservient people by fear and condemnation.

“
So I prayed. I asked for my dad’s blessing on me and my
family. And that all the unrealized dreams and longings he We both cried for the
carried all through his life would be fulfilled in my kids’ lives. many things we could
Then I prayed about heaven and its entire splendor. Time never talk about
stood still, peace abounded, and with tears unclogged we
both cried for the many things we could never talk about and the forever good-bye that was
a moment away. Finally, he said I should collect myself and begin my journey home before
it got too dark. Such a subtle sweetness that he didn’t want me driving alone at night. Then
it happened: I got up to get Kleenex, but instead turned back around and out of my mouth
came these words: “Dad, I just want you to know that I’m not blowing smoke up your ass.
That prayer was real!”
Inside I was mortified. I couldn’t believe that after such a moment of tenderness and
purity, those words came from me. I felt white paleness on my face, but his face lit up like
a Christmas tree. There was a light in his eyes I’d never seen before. Somehow what just
happened solidified the moment. I didn’t know what more to say after that. But I felt what I
had come to do was done. I collected myself, said my good-byes and drove away.
As you leave Santa Barbara driving north on highway 101 you follow the coast for the
first 25 miles. It’s absolutely gorgeous with the vast blue ocean waving to onlookers and the
sun leaving its last warm imprint of the day on the waters. On the other side of the highway
are the mountains, not very high, but snug up against the ocean like fat pillows. It’s a picture
of a perfect relationship between land and sea, one making way for the other… nature
contented in its beauty and purpose.
But I couldn’t really enjoy what I was seeing, at least not yet. My mind was still reeling
about what blurted from me. How could I have let that happened? And that particular
preposition wasn’t even my choice of profanity. I never used that phrase…. then God said,
“To the pure all things are pure.” And I knew somehow that was exactly what He wanted to
say to my Dad. It was in a raw language my Dad could relate to. It was real for him. I looked
out my window again, and this time I soaked in the wonder of God’s goodness and the
lengths He would go to help us see Him.

−− SI
81
God is in Control
I used to be the top runner on my school’s cross country team. In my junior year I
started having trouble with one of my ribs during runs, and it kept me from running at my
best during races. I often ran two or three whole minutes behind what I had been able to
previously, which is a huge amount for a 5K. I went to several doctors, and no one could tell
me exactly what was wrong or how to fix the problem.
I was very frustrated because, in my mind, this was setting me back from the progress I
needed to be making and keeping me from being the very best that I could be. I was angry
with God because I had asked Him to heal me and nothing had happened. Running had
been a central part of my life, and before long the problem became bad enough that I could
not do it all.
I did lots of physical therapy the summer before my senior year, hoping I would be able
to run at the level I had been previously, but I made little progress and spent most of the
season waiting at the coach’s car while everyone else was on their runs. I was only able to
participate in a few workouts and races.
Finally we came to the league championship race. I had quite a lot of pain in my rib that
whole day and knew that I had no chance of running anywhere near what I needed to run in
order for my team to do well. I called Troy Smith and asked him to pray for me. He did, but
I didn’t really notice a change, and I knew everything could still go very wrong. I went to the
starting line with my team and stepped back for a moment and prayed.
“I can’t do this, God. I just can’t. For me to run well today, You have to do something. My
training and my experience can’t help me now; only You can. This one’s all You.”
The gun went off and we sprinted from the line. I was quickly passed by about twenty or
twenty-five people in the first two minutes, and I waited to see if my rib would begin to give
me trouble, which it usually did around the one mile mark; nothing ever came. We passed
the one-mile mark, and I surged ahead, passing back almost everyone who had passed me
in the first few minutes. I crossed the line in 5th place, 2nd on my team.
I’m a very prideful person, but the success God gave me at that race taught me just
how powerful and in control He is and how small I am. Anything I have is a gift from Him. If
I have expertise or experience, it is a gift from Him and He can take it away if He likes. He’s
the one in charge.
Since that day I have been trying to acknowledge God in anything good that I do or any-
thing good that happens to me, and it has made a difference. He’s been working through
me much more than He could when I was taking the credit.

−− RK

82
God Gives A New Job
Four years I had been faithful in my position at work. There were many changes, take-
overs, moving farther away so that my commute was 50 miles a day.
I had been praying and seeking God in trying to find something new. I want on inter-
views, spent countless hours traveling searching for where God wanted me to be. Nothing
happened… I trusted the Lord and kept faithfully working and being a light where I was.
One day I walked into the office at the apartment I live in and was talking with the staff
who I had made friends with. Their regional manager in Washington was there, although I
didn’t know who she was at the time. As we were talking, she asked me for my resume. It
hadn’t even occurred to me to look into that field as an opportunity.
I waited and prayed for a few weeks before I emailed her and sent along my resume. It
was another two weeks ‘til I heard back. She was still very interested and their recruiting
manager called, and two weeks after that I received an email to schedule a final (whew)
interview with my potential boss. I researched, prayed and trusted the Lord in whatever
outcome would happen.
I was the last interview of the day. I felt such a peace during it and walked out with such
joy. They said they would talk and get back to me the following afternoon… I received a call
three hours later!! They said they couldn’t wait. PRAISE THE LORD.
But there was one last obstacle; they were going to have me work on Sundays. This
would be a deal breaker. I was honest and said my faith is very important and I wouldn’t
be able to fill the position. They didn’t want to lose me so they changed their hours, had to
change their website and all of their signage (very expensive) just so they could have me be
a part of their staff! Hallelujah, PRAISE THE LORD.

−− N.W.

God Taught Me He Cares

One day I had to drive to Seattle for business. When I got back to the Eastside I could
not find my notebook. It was just a notebook but it was important to me. It contained many
notes, thought and lists from the past several months.
As I sat in my car I prayed, “Lord help me find my notebook.” I don’t know if I really
expected an answer but the word “Seattle” came to mind. Immediately, I drove back to
Seattle and parked near the same place I had been earlier in the day. After I parked I prayed
again, “OK, Lord, now where?” The word “road” came to mind. It was not audible but it was
very vivid. I got out and walked along the road. Nothing. I decided to check the coffee shop
I had been at earlier. Nothing. I walked around the block I had driven to the freeway earlier,
thinking maybe it had fallen off the roof of my car. Nothing.

83
 During this time I was starting to lose hope of ever finding the notebook. At the same
time the word “road” kept coming to mind. It was persistent and seemed stronger. As I
got back to my car I decided to check the road I had driven earlier back to the freeway.
Nothing.
As I approached to freeway I had given up hope. I figured I wasn’t hearing God and it
was just my imagination. As I turned on to the freeway, there on ramp sitting in the middle of
the road was my notebook. When I got out of the car my legs felt weak. I was overwhelmed
by the feeling that God loves me and he even cares about the little things.

−− CL

Becoming a Mom
When I was in high school I got pregnant. I knew I couldn’t take care of a baby and I
didn’t want to bring shame to my family, so I believed that my only solution was to have an
abortion. When I became a Christian, I asked God to forgive me for my lifestyle and the
abortion, but somehow still felt that there was no other option for me.
It was such a sad lie that I carried around and it affected so many areas of my life. I
believed that I could never be a good mother because no mom kills her baby! The easiest
way to bypass that pain was just not to become a mother —ever.
But, God changed my heart and gave me the desire to be a mom. And He did, in fact,
many times over, as I’m now a mother of many. However, I still carried my doubts and pain
with me into motherhood.
Then, on the 14th anniversary of the abortion, as I was pouring out my heart to God, His
truth miraculously penetrated my life. I realized that I did have a choice.
His truth was so freeing! His love healed me completely! And I no longer had to live
under a lie! Now I can say that through Christ, I’m an amazing mom!

−− Anonymous

How Could I Not Believe In God

I was 32-years old, and believed I was a Christian since I was a little girl, but over the
years I had many doubts about the reality of God. Was I deluding myself? Where was the
proof?
My husband and I struggled with infertility, going on 7 years. I worked as a labor and
delivery nurse, which was almost more than I could bear, going home every day after
work saying “Why, why not me?” We had tried everything we could think of. I even gained
weight because someone told me they thought I was too skinny (to conceive). We tried all
84
the infertility treatments, including in vitro fertilization (IVF). I got pregnant! Then miscarried
after 8-weeks…how cruel of God…the pain was unbearable, I wanted to die.
People I worked with knew of my pain and longing for children. The secretary told me
about a special church service for infertile couples that is held once a year; people come
from all over the Northwest to attend the service at Cedar Park Church. We decided to go.
We were one of the first ones there. As the church filled up with people we had to scoot
to the right and we ended up sitting next to a couple with a newborn baby, which is NOT

“
where I wanted to be.
At the end of the service, the minister asked any We saw his beautiful face
couples that wanted to be prayed for to walk down to and knew he was God’s
the front and kneel, where each of us had a minister answer to our prayer
pray with us. He invited anyone in the church who felt
compelled to come down to join in prayer. I felt a warm hand on my left shoulder from
behind, I felt an incredible surge of heat and power that overwhelmed me. It was if they
could feel all of my pain. The person had left before I knew who it was. The couple sitting
next to us stood up and spoke about their struggle with infertility, eleven miscarriages, then
showing their baby after attending last year’s service. We spoke with them after the service
and were given hope again.
Three months later, we decided to try IVF one more time, then plan to adopt if it didn’t
work. May 25th my husband said to me, “When I was a little boy, I was told to kneel at my
bed and pray out loud,” so I said, “Let’s do it!” He knelt next to the bed that I was on and
we prayed out loud, pouring our hearts out, asking God for a child.
The next day (Memorial Day), my husband went with me to the doctor appointment and
we stopped by my work (I had taken time off) to drop off a cake for the nurses. Upon our
arrival, the nurses said, “We were just talking about you!” A teenager had just given birth
to a baby that she wants to adopt out, no prenatal care, no pre-arrangements made. They
asked us if we were interested, we said “YES!” We asked if it was a boy or a girl, the nurse
had to go to the nursery to check, “It’s a boy!” We saw his beautiful face and knew he was
God’s answer to our prayer. The doctor that delivered him gave the birth mother all of her
options and she chose us!
We named him Steven Matthew, but then I felt God instruct me to name him Jacob. I
didn’t understand why, but I didn’t want to question it, so we changed his middle name
from Matthew to Jacob; someday I hope to know why, but it doesn’t really matter. How
could I NOT believe in God after that?!

−− KB

85
God is Faithful
My youngest daughter inherited a biological mental disorder from her father which
manifested itself very suddenly and unexpectedly when she became pregnant. She did not
know she was pregnant. She became very despondent and suicidal.
She went missing more than once. It was mid-December 2008, the second disappear-
ance. We reported her disappearance to the police and alerted family and friends. There
was no sign of her for over 24 hours. I couldn’t eat or sleep. All I could do was pray. I clung
to the promise God has for us in the Bible that He will not give us anything more than we
can bear.
I could not bear to lose my child. It had snowed heavily. I was worried. She was out in
the cold. I bundled up and went outside to walk in the snow. I took my cell phone with me.
Miraculously, it rang and it was her. I was the first one she called. She had tried to strangle
herself and had locked herself in a storage closet.
Something made her stop and decide not to do it. Because of her decision to reach out,
she got the help and treatment she needed.
Now, a year and a half later, she has a healthy 7-month baby. She is stable and I still have
my daughter and grandson. God is so faithful. I do not know why all of this happened but I
do know that God is faithful. He loves me and He answers prayer.

−− Anonymous

86
87
Friends,
I hope that reading through these stories has helped you know how REAL and available
God can be in your own life story. Many of them reveal a pivotal point of surrender to God
that brought dramatic change to each person’s life.
Perhaps you realize that you have not yet given your life to Christ. If this is true, God
wants you to know:

• He loves you immensely. He came as Jesus so that you could know Him personally.

• Yet we have this predicament. We have all made choices that were not the ones God
had for us. Some have even actively rejected God. This “sin” separates us from God, His
holiness, and the amazing life He has for us.

• Jesus took our sin on Himself when he died; He buried those choices in the ground.
When He rose again He became the way to get back “home” to God, where we belong.
He invites us to follow Him in a whole new way of life —active, growing, dynamic!

• Beginning a relationship with Him is as simple as saying:

“Lord Jesus, I place my faith in you as the One who takes away my sin to bring me
into relationship with You. I receive what you did for me on the cross and the new life
You bring. I choose to place my life under Your loving care and leadership.”

God’s Word is clear that a relationship with Him is a free gift, not something for which we
qualify. We simply say “Yes” to the gift of new life, energized & led by Him.

“He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy”
Titus 3:5

“To all who believed in Him (Jesus) & accepted Him, He gave the right to become the
children of God.” John 1: 12

If you just gave your life to Jesus, tell someone today! Drop by, call or email us
newlife@lakesamm.org. We can’t wait to hear your REAL story.

With Anticipation,

−− Dan Laurenzo

88
 www.LakeSamm.org
Service Times: Sundays at 9 & 10:45 am
14434 NE 8th Street Bellevue, WA 98007 | (425) 463-7000