B103F Business Communication I Tutorial 5 Autumn 2010

Writing Effective Sentences

Exercise A: Sentence structure

Rewrite the following sentences so that they emphasize the important words. (The important words
appear in parentheses.)

1. Many employees list a full insurance programme as one of their most important benefits. (a
full insurance programme)
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2. An effective sentence contains a subject, as well as a vigorous verb.

(vigorous verb)
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Exercise B: Clarity

Reposition the verb nearer the subject in the following sentences.

The following sentences may have these problems:

• The subject and predicate are not kept together.
• There is a misplaced modifier.
• The sentence is too choppy or the information is poorly organized.

1. Business majors, if they are to get a job in today’s competitive job market, must possess the
necessary communication skills.
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2. The boss called her employee into her office. She asked him to sit down. She asked him if he
would like a promotion.
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3. The next meeting of ad hoc committee will take place on Wednesday in Stinson Hall, which is
across the road from the fire hall, on the second floor, in room 23G, at 9 P.M.
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4. Mango Computers devised a program for small businesses with Standard English commands.

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Exercise C: Conciseness/Brevity

Rewrite the following sentences by avoiding repetition, using short sentences and expressing ideas
directly.

1. The older plants are in need of extensive renovation; this problem should be dealt with
immediately.

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2. The sum total of our net gains is one million dollars.

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3. Each and every employee is invited to submit his or her personal opinion in regard to the final
outcome of this year’s elections.
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4. This product has a character of a uniquely individual nature.

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5. I look forward to meeting you soon and getting together to discuss our future plans.
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6. A managerial employee must give authorization for a secretary to send paper bearing the
company letterhead prior to the time the letter is sent.
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Exercise D: Active voice

Decide if the following sentences are active or passive. Rewrite the passive sentences into the active
voice. Where necessary, invent an appropriate subject.

1. In 1999, Baker Software, Inc., was acquired by Williams and Williams.

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2. All the profits should be reinvested immediately.

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3. It is recommended that Mr. Wilkes be relieved of his responsibilities.

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4. Prices have been slashed by us.

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Exercise E: Correctness

The following sentences may have these problems:

• Grammar, sentence fragment, run-on sentence, dangling modifier, misplaced modifier, comma-
splice sentence, unparallel sentence.

1. His salary increase nearly was $2000.

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2. Forgetting about strong foreign competition, heavy losses surprised the company.
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3. Doing business makes me feel competent and gives me a feeling of satisfaction.
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4. Because our product is passed the European standard.

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5. On the other hand James loses money when he gambles he still enjoys doing so.

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6. When I joined KT which was experiencing the biggest management changes.

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7. I am going to write the memo that the communication objective with two points.
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8. During the demonstration in 15 December, all the department heads have to present. Attendance
will be counted.

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