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    Chapter 1: Listening Listening is essential skill for maintaining relationships. Real listening is based on intention to: Understand Enjoy Learn Help or Comfort. Pseudo-listening based on need to: Make people like you Avoid rejection. Chapter 2: Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure implies: Communication with another Transfer of new information truthfulness Dimensions of "Self"

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    Chapter 1: Listening Listening is essential skill for maintaining relationships. Real listening is based on intention to: Understand Enjoy Learn Help or Comfort. Pseudo-listening based on need to: Make people like you Avoid rejection. Chapter 2: Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure implies: Communication with another Transfer of new information truthfulness Dimensions of "Self"

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    8 views1 page

    Messages Section 1 Notes

    Uploaded by

    anon-335091
    Chapter 1: Listening Listening is essential skill for maintaining relationships. Real listening is based on intention to: Understand Enjoy Learn Help or Comfort. Pseudo-listening based on need to: Make people like you Avoid rejection. Chapter 2: Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure implies: Communication with another Transfer of new information truthfulness Dimensions of "Self"

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    of 1

    Cory Lane

    November 5, 2007

    Messages Section 1 Notes

    Chapter 1: Listening Chapter 2: Self-Disclosure


    • Four Kinds of Expression
    • Listening is an essential skill • Self-disclosure implies: ○ Observations
    for maintaining relationships ○ Communication with another ○ Thoughts
    • Real listening is based on the ○ Transfer of new information ○ Feelings
    intention to: ○ Truthfulness ○ Needs
    ○ Understand • Dimensions of “Self” • Whole Messages
    ○ Enjoy ○ Open Self: actions & words ○ All four types of expression
    ○ Learn ○ Blind Self: habits ○ Full disclosure
    ○ Help or Comfort ○ Hidden Self: secrets ○ Clear meaning
    • Pseudo-listening is based on a ○ Unknown Self: subconscious ○ Partial message
    need to: • Self-disclosure is shift of info  Omission of one or more
    ○ Make people like you from hidden self to open self types of expression that
    ○ Avoid rejection • Rewards of Self-Disclosure can lead to confusion
    ○ Hear something specific ○ Increased self-knowledge • Contaminated Messages
    ○ Be heard ○ Closer intimate relationships ○ Disguised expression
    ○ Be polite ○ Disclosure breeds disclosure ○ Hidden meaning
    • Blocks to listening: ○ Lessening of guilt ○ Confusing
    ○ Comparing ○ Gain energy/relieve tension ○ Mismatch of content and
    ○ Mind reading • Blocks to self-disclosure tone
    ○ Rehearsing ○ Societal bias • Preparing Your Message
    ○ Filtering ○ Fear ○ Self-awareness
    ○ Judging ○ Repressed Feelings ○ Awareness of audience
    ○ Dreaming • Optimal Self-Disclosure ○ Awareness of setting
    ○ Identifying ○ Amount of self-disclosure • Rules for Effective Expression
    ○ Advising based on: ○ Direct messages
    ○ Put-downs or discounting  Personality  No assumptions about
    ○ Being Right  Mood obviousness of implied
    ○ Changing the subject  Situation/topic expression
    ○ Placating tone  Audience  No passive aggressiveness
    ○ Balance is key ○ Immediate messages
    • Effective Listening
    ○ Active Listening • Practicing Self-disclosure  No delayed
    ○ Levels of disclosure: communication
     Paraphrasing
     Clarifying ?s  Informational  Avoid build-up of emotion
     Constructive Feedback  Past thoughts and feelings ○ Clear messages
    ○ Listening w/ empathy  Current thoughts and  No omission
    feelings  No vagueness
    ○ Listening w/ openness
     Avoid loaded questions
     Considering another
     Congruency of content,
    viewpoint
    tone, and body language
    ○ Listening w/ awareness
     Avoid double messages
     Consider truthfulness,  Avoid hidden meanings
    congruency of tone and  One topic at a time
    content ○ Straight Messages
    • Total Listening
     No hidden agendas
    ○ Eye contact
     Tell the truth
    ○ Lean forward ○ Supportive Messages
    ○ Nodding or paraphrasing  No labeling
    ○ Clarifying questions  Avoid sarcasm
    ○ Move away from distractions  Do not bring up the past
    ○ Commit to understanding  No negative comparisons
    • Listening for Couples  No “You Messages”
    ○ Reciprocal Communication  No Threats
     Active Listening
     Taking Turns Chapter 3: Expressing

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