EPHESIANS 5:18-33 // CHRISTIAN SUBMISSION, Christian Marriage, Christ and the

Church

Our starting point today is Ephesians 5:21. Here, the author has gone from what the church
is to what it should be. ELABORATE In the church, our relationships should be greatly
changed/transformed by and because of Jesus.

READ 5:21
V. 21: Submit to one another

The concept of mutuality between believers is a regular NT theme, being found in John’s
form of the “love commandment” (John 13:34)…and appearing in many ways throughout
Paul’s writing…already in this letter in (4:2).

It is the attitude that believers, as members of the body, should have to one another (1
Corinthians 12:25) and is closely related to that humility to which all are called (4:2).

With all of this love & tolerance, there are also clearly defined roles and responsibilities (i.e.
teachers/leaders/authorities). Paul seems to even consider himself as one among others in
the body of Christ, yet superior in authority.

Having written 5:21 under the influence of 5:19 – COMPLETING the statement of 18-20 and
fleshed-out in 5:22-6:9.

V.18b: Only when filled with the Spirit do people willingly submit to another and learn not to
insist on their own rights.

Grammatically, verses 18-23 form a very long sentence: "Be filled with the Spirit, speaking to
one another…submitting to one another, wives to their own husbands." These participle
clauses tell us how we are to act when filled with the Spirit: speaking to one another, singing,
and submitting to one another. The grammar indicates that Paul is continuing the same
subject rather than switching to something new (even though many translations start a new
sentence and new paragraph at verse 21 or 22).

V21 – Fro what reason does the author prescribe the activity of sbjecting/submitting to one
another?

What does the author mean in his usage of fear?

θ ο β ο ζ - fear ∅ terror…it is instead a reverential fear, with a motivation of love / ASLAN

In 5:22-6:9, we find more tangibly the idea of mutuality:

Form in Ephesians and Colossians:
• Wives, be subject to your husbands as is proper [in the Lord];
• Husbands, love our wives.
• Children, obey your parents;
• Fathers, do not annoy your children.
• Slaves, obey your [human] masters;
• Masters, treat your slaves justly.

Martin Luther referred to these passages as “Social Code” for those who are in Christ.
Why focus on marriage?
It is the closest of voluntary realtoinships

These can be looked at in a couple of ways: explicitly about marriage, parenting, etc…OR as
a working out of V.21. We will not ignore the first, but our focus will be to better understand
the second.

: To understand that the rise of the Christian faith had such an impact on the Gentile world
that it changed the status quo of personal relationships across family and social barriers,
through the principle of equal treatment and mutual submission in the Lord.

: To understand that all believers are called to mutual submission to one another, and this is
especially true for husbands and wives, who are called to live together honorably after the
pattern of Christ and the church.

a. What is Paul’s appeal to all believers? v. 21a. Why? v. 21b.

b. What is Paul’s appeal to Christian wives? v. 22. In what manner are they to submit?

V. 22: Since wives are addressed directly and husbands are not told what to do if the wife
does not submit, it is probably right to assume their submission to be voluntary…and their
submission will of course be to husbands who love them as Christ loved the Church (v. 25).

c. What reason does Paul give for this submission?

This sentence concludes with a motivation – where the ___________ is not the husband.
-This is used to prepare readers for what’s next: the relationship of Christ to the
Church.
-“It’s not only ‘horizontal’ but also contains a ‘vertical’ component.” Almost as
if, “wives, this is your religious act…your worshipful obedience to God”.

V. 23: Paul makes a very similar discourse to the Colossian Christians (3), but in that
message, he keeps the marriage talk very straightforward and clear…BUT, for some reason
(not totally known to us) we have a tight correlation between these relationships and
teachings about the church.

What do you think is meant by the references to headship in v. 23?

What’s for sure is that “head” in the OT always is used as “head” over a collective, not of an
individual.

What’s also for sure is that the useage of “head” here allows for Paul to transition into a
discussion on the broader, “church”.

It’s possible that Ephesians may be giving a deeper definition. What if we considered
headship to = “source”? As Adam was the source of Eve (from his body)…and as Christ is
creator (and thereby) “source” of the church.

I do like this because it makes sense in light of the husbands calling in vv. 25-27.

d. What is Paul’s appeal to Christian husbands? vv. 25-27. Is this something that has already
taken place, or something yet to take place? Or both? How can husbands “give themselves”
for their wives on a day-to-day basis? What does the analogy convey?

“LOVE” : Of course we know there are 3 hebrew-and corresponding greek words for our
“love”, which do you think is used here? Agape

What do you understand the form, “agape”, to mean? Meaning is seen in the example of
Christ (ahead)
What manner of love is this that Christ exemplifies? “sacrificial love”

What are the results of Christ’s love for the church? …to make her holy, cleansing her by the
washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church,
without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless (vv. 26-27). Husbands
cannot do this for their wives, of course, but they should have the same attitude: They need to
view their wives as spotless, holy and pure, because Christ has made them so.

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies (v. 28). Just as
Christ sacrificed himself to serve the church, men should make sacrifices to serve their wives.
They should do nothing from selfishness, but in humility regard their wives as better than
themselves—and the women should do the same (Phil. 2:3). Paul is calling for mutual respect
and submission.

READ 28-29 and summarize

READ 30 “Christ nourishes and cherishes the church, because we are members of His
body”

V. 31-32:
:31 quotes Gen 2:24 – WE really ONLY see this and use this as a marriage verse…but
historically it was widely known and used in Judaism for varying reasons.
-In the context of this passage, it serves to strengthen the marriage bond > BUT it si also
here to associate Christ and the church.
-I think we are wise to embrace the marriage meaning…but we must recognize that
Paul states explicitly in :32 that he is using this to emphasize the relationship of Christ to the
Church.

:32 “this mystery is great” – It’s almost as if Paul is saying…”I’m trying my best to
explain this”
:32 is really THE APEX: and we find it based on :31 > (so this is unlike most sermons, in that
Paul invites readers into his main text in the middle OR end of his discourse)

How is v.31 talking about v. 32?

In the incarnation, the Son left the Father and cleaved to humanity, becoming “one flesh”
with the Church. *Augustine, 198, Church Fathers
What does this imply for us cleaving to Christ?
We may consider what the Bible says of a holy wife.

How can two people be one? Paul says it is a profound mystery—but then he says, I am
talking about Christ and the church (v. 32). Since we are all united with Christ, we are one in
him. Not just in marriage but also in Christ, our spouses are part of our body, and we need to
treat them as well as we do ourselves.

Paul summarizes the discussion in v. 33: However, each one of you also must love his wife
as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Whether we are male or female,
when we are filled with the Spirit, we should love, respect, and submit to one another.

V. 33: g. What is Paul’s summary of mutual respect and submission in marriage? v. 33.

:33 Closes this discussion using Christian marriage…and if we could now read on 6:1-9,
we’d see that a Christian’s relationship should be mutually submissive because those virtues
characterize the relationship of Christ and the Church.

Why do you think Paul left out the “love” in speaking to wives in v. 33?
What she loves, she reveres, and she reveres him as head and loves him as member of the
same body. What is the root of this respect? ***this respect doesn’t come from fear, but
from love.

If both had the very same roles, there would be no peace…one is guiding, one is supporting.

1. In vs 21-22, what do you feel the word "submit" means?

2. How can two people both submit to each other? Give examples.

3. What are some of the reasons people don't submit to each other? Think of some times
you haven't submitted to your spouse (or parent if not married), what were the reasons?
What do those reasons have to do with reverence for Christ?

COMPARE/CONTRAST – SUBMISSION IS, IS NOT

Christian Submission is about always giving way to others T / F

Christian Submission is about who can be the lowest common denominator T / F
Christian Submission flows out of strength, not weakness T / F
Christian Submission must come in relationship T / F
Christian Submission is about sacrifice T / F
Christian Submission is about honor T / F
Christian Submission flows from the filling of the Spirit T / F

What I may love most in the reading of this passage (I can have a dark sense of
humor/irony)…is that Paul makes this wonderful case for mutual submission b/c of
Christ…but we know well from scripture that Paul and his buddy Barnabas struggled to
find resolution in their disagreement over John-Mark…and ended up parting ways. IT IS
NOT EASY.

CREATE A SITUATION FOR DISCUSSION / how does Christian submission play out
in real life?