NEURO LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)

What is NLP?
Neuro Linguistic Programming is a simple, skillful method for studying what
goes on inside a person (subjective experience). NLP deals with the processes people use
to build their unique, distinctive maps or models of the world. NLP gives a practical and
dependable method for developing and expanding those maps so that a person develops
more choices and becomes truly autonomous. As a result effective communication can
become a matter of conscious choice. In general NLP explains how brain works, how
human beings think, feel, learn, motivate themselves, interact with others, make choices
and achieve realistic goals.
Problem is a stuck state and the definition of a problem is a state of mind where
there are no choices. NLP’s objective is to increase the behavioural choices available to
us. The more choices and possibilities mean more freedom to realize ones potentials.
When we were born our only contact with reality and the outside world is through
our five senses (see, hear, touch, smell and taste). Children see, hear and feel small
chunks. We learn from psychology that this process of the senses taking in reality only in
small chunks remains constant throughout our life. The sensory data goes through the
process of filtering to suit our beliefs about self others and the world..
Cognitive psychology shows us how, starting from birth, we choose, select,
delete, distort and change what we take in from external reality. In addition to our early
experiences, our families and society further change our perceptions by imposing their
views, desires and wants on us. We are thus slowly weaned away from whatever success
we had achieved in contacting reality through our senses. We are taught to depend on
others to interpret what is good for us and tell us what to do and basically to listen to
others instead of listening to our own senses. As a child this process worked well for us.
However for an adult this learnt process can be an advantage or a limitation. The goal of
NLP is to become aware of this process so that we can effectively re-programme our
brain for effortless, easy, enjoyable and meaningful life.
Neuro Linguistic Programming leads us back to our senses by the use of sensory
acuity exercises. The purpose of course is gradually to get back in contact with our own
self-determining, self-regulating, self-integrating, self-balancing process, thus enabling us
to stand on our own feet. NLP shows us how language can be used to elicit a verbal
representation of a persons experience in asking the proper questions. These questions
can be used to build our communication network.
In communication there is no substitute for clear, active, open sensory channels.
We use language to get back to our experiences, but it is as important, if not more, to be
aware of the body language and the voice changes as well. The voice changes include the
change in pitch, frequency, volume and tone. The internal experiences are expressed by
the body very powerfully. Breathing is also a powerful tool to detect the internal
experience of a person. If the changes taking place in the body are observed we will be
able to understand what is going on inside a person.. By observing the sensory cues one
can come close to understand the reality of a person as experienced by him or her. This

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will help us to improve the interpersonal and intrapersonal communication and strengthen
our relationships.

EXPERIENCING THE WORLD

All of us experience the world through our five senses, which act like the input
channels to take in the reality. It is a known fact that the same reality perceived by
different people is taken in differently. Cognitive psychology teaches us that even when
our senses are in perfect working condition; our senses are selective in gathering
information. This selection process can be due to generalization, deletion, and distortion
which are natural filters present in each one of us, giving rise to uniqueness of ones own
experience.

World Input channels Three universal Our reality Expression

Reality human modeling
Processes

Visual Generalization MAP Words

Auditory Distortion OF and
WORLD Kinesthetic Deletion THE Language.
REALITY Olfactory WORLD
Gustatory

Depending on our filters, we process the information entering through our senses
and obtain a MAP of the reality, which may not represent exactly what is in reality
outside. Our MAP determines our response to the outside reality, which is expressed by
the words and language we use. For example, consider the word “FIRE “. The experience
generated by this word will be different in different people. Because the map they have
for this word is different. So it is obvious how far removed our words and language are
from our experience. It is therefore necessary to break down our words and language into
the sensory experiences to make our communication specific and clear. The above model
is known as “the meta model ” developed by John Grinder and Richard Bandler , it is a
means of bringing our map or model of the world more in contact with reality. The meta
model helps to gather information, Identify the limits of one’s map, and provide an
individual more choices on how to experience the world.

THREE FILTERS

Three universal modeling processes are the three filters used by us to generate our
map of reality. These filters are there to help us to survive, grow, change and experience

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joy. However the paradox of the human condition is that the same processes block us
from maintaining an improvised model of the world.
1. GENERALIZATION:

Generalization is the process by which elements or pieces or a person’s map of

the world become detached from their original experience and come to represent the
entire category of which the experience is an example. It is the process of finding a
unifying characteristic in a series of events. Generalization is a healthy process by which
we learn to function in the world. Many of our early learning are through generalization.
Generalization speeds up any concept learning and is really healthy.
The same process of generalization can work as a limitation and create pain and
suffering in a person. Following are some examples for unhealthy generalizations.
• A child gets chased by a dog generalizes that all dogs are dangerous.
• Because one speech was badly received by the audience, the speaker never makes
another speech.
• Because one relationship was a painful one, a person stops to have close
relationships.

2. DISTORTION:

Distortion is the process which allows us to make shifts in how we experience

sensory data. Without this process we can not plan for the future or turn dreams into
reality. For example: Fantasy allows us to prepare for experiences we may have before
they occur.
Distortion can also be limiting, for example a man distorts all the negative feedback by;
telling himself that he is perfect.

3. DELETION:

Deletion is the process by which we selectively pay attention to certain aspects of

our experience and exclude others. This allows us to focus our awareness and attend to
one portion of our experience over others. This process makes coping possible and
protects us from being overwhelmed by external stimuli.
Examples of healthy Deletion
• An individual can concentrate on the conversation in a crowed bus.
• A person deletes all the other letters on the table of the boss and concentrates on
the promotional order of that person.

Deletions are also unhealthy. For example a person deletes all the positive qualities in an
individual or in any experience.
A person’s map determines how one communicates and responds to different situations.
Understanding one’s map brings in awareness and growth. This also helps to build and
sustain interpersonal relationships.

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 BELIEFS

Beliefs are important generalizations that we form in early childhood. They make
growth possible and life easier, and help us to face difficulties and challenges. Many of
our beliefs are limiting beliefs. So it is important that we examine them to find out and
reinforce those that we wish to retain, and, change those that limit us. For example, I may
have a belief that I can initiate a conversation or I may have a belief that I can find good
people wherever I go. Naturally, I want to reinforce these beliefs. On the other hand, the
belief that I am ugly may be detrimental to me and I would like to change that.
Norman Cousin’s Anatomy of an illness is a compelling story of his fight for
survival. He was diagnosed as suffering from a crippling and untreatable disease of the
spine and was told that he did not have long to live. Cousins, however, refused to accept
diagnosis of his doctor. He believed in the capacity of the human body and mind to
regenerate them. With the help of his family doctor, whose genius lay in engaging to the
fullest Cousin’s personal courage and enormous determination, Cousins cured himself
with mega doses of Vitamin C and laughter. He watched ‘Candid Camera’ and ‘Marx
Brothers’ movies, and had his nurse read him humorous stories. All this led to genuine
belly laughter, which had a healing effect. Cousins’ survival was the product of an
indomitable spirit. He simply believed that he could do it.
A belief is a guiding principle, dictum, faith or passion that can provide meaning
and direction in our lives Beliefs are the prearranged, organized filters to our perceptions
of the world. Beliefs are like commands to the brain. When we congruently believe
something is true, we deliver a command to our brain about how to represent what is
occurring.
John Stuart Mill, the English philosopher once wrote, “One person with a belief is
equal to a force of 99 who have only interests.” That is precisely why beliefs open the
door to excellence. Beliefs deliver a direct command to our nervous system. When we
believe with conviction that something is true, we literally go into the state of it being
true. Handled effectively, beliefs can be the most powerful force for creating good in our
lives. On the other hand , beliefs that limit our thoughts and actions can be as devastating
as resourceful beliefs can be empowering .Religions throughout history have empowered
millions of people and given them strength to do things they thought they could not do.
According to Richard Bandler, beliefs are things we cannot get around. Beliefs
are the presuppositions that we have about certain things that either create or deny us
personal power. Beliefs are essentially the on/off switches for our ability to achieve
anything in the world. Because if we do not believe that we can do something, we
probably won’t have the opportunity to find out.
Beliefs help us tap into the richest resources deep within us, creating and directing
those resources in support of our desired outcomes. They are the compass and maps that
guide us toward our goals and give us the surety to know that we will achieve them.
Without beliefs we can be totally disempowered like a boat without a motor or rudder.
With powerful guiding beliefs, however, we have the power to take action and create the

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world in which we want to live. Beliefs help us to see what we want and energize us to
achieve them.

SOME REVEALING FACTS ABOUT BELIEFS

• Even at the physiological level beliefs control reality. Research indicate that the
sugar level of patients went up when they believed that they have diabetic, and the
same patients showed normal sugar level when they believed that they are normal
like any other persons. Some people even showed tremendous energy levels when
they believed that they are capable of accomplishing a particular task and high
energy persons showed low energy levels when they believed that they cannot do
the tasks.

• Most of us are aware of the placebo effect. People who are told a drug will have a
certain effect will, many times, experience that effect even when given an inert
pill with no active properties. Norman Cousins who experienced the power of the
belief in elimination his own illness, concludes, “Drugs are not always necessary.
Belief in recovery always is”

• Studies conducted by Dr. Andrew Weil, an expert on alternative medicine and

body – mind interactions, have shown that the impact of the drug used correspond
almost exactly to the expectations of the user, which in tern depends on the
beliefs.. Hence the magic of drugs resides within the mind of the user, not in the
drugs. The placebo experiment by Professor Louis Lasanga of Rochester
University demonstrated that people’s .reactions to a drug are determined as much
by what they think the drug is as by what it actually is.

• It is also our experience how the prayer can be a healing agent when we firmly
believe in the power of God. Some people have got cured of their deceases in
prayer meetings and healing workshops by the mere power of beliefs.

Our beliefs are fostered by the events and experiences of our lives. There are
certain events in our lives which we can never forget, when such events take place
repeatedly we form beliefs about ourselves .The brain generalizes these beliefs and they
remain with us and control us. NLP gives us a new method to change our limiting beliefs
and strengthen our energizing beliefs. By the creation of the desirable experience in our
mind we can foresee any desirable change in us as if it is happening here and now. This is
called experiencing results in advance. Studies have proved that one gets better results
from imagining results than from physically practicing. If we create in our mind a clear
image of the results we want and represent it to ourselves as if we have already achieved

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them, we will then go into, the kind of state that will support us in creating the results we
desire.

THE SEVEN LIES OF SUCCESS

Many beliefs foster excellence. Here are seven that are important. Using the word
‘lies’ is a way to remind us that no matter how much we believe in a concept, we should
be open to other possibilities. If these beliefs help us, support us and make our lives
richer and better then by all means wee must use them.

1. Everything happens for a reason and a purpose, and it serves us.

Successful people have the uncanny ability to focus on what is possible in
a given situation, and, the positive results that could follow. Marilyn
Hamilton is an excellent example. She was a teacher and a beauty queen.
At the age of 29 she fell down a rocky cliff in a hand-gliding accident and
although she survived the fall, she ended up in a wheelchair, paralyzed
from the waist down. Marilyn did not adopt a ‘victim’ attitude; she
focused instead on the possibilities that were open to her. Being confined
to a wheelchair gave her first-hand experience of some of its limitations.
So she redesigned wheelchairs for easier mobility and became a
multimillion dollar success story. Marilyn operated from a dynamic sense
of possibility.

2. There is No such thing as a Failure. There are only results and

feedbacks. People in our culture have been conditioned to fear failure. The
ones who are successful know that if they try something new and it does
not work, they have had a learning experience. They use what they have
learned and move on. There is something to be learned from every
experience and the learning can lead to growth and success. Here is a life
history of a man who-
• Was defeated in a legislature race at the age of 32.
• Failed again in business at the age of 34.
• Overcame the death of his sweetheart at the age of 35.
• Had a nervous breakdown at the age of 36.
• Lost an election at the age of 38.
• Lost a congressional race at the age of 43
• Lost a congressional race at the age of 46.
• Lost a congressional race at the age of 48.
• Lost a senatorial race at the age of 55.
• Failed in an effort to become vice president at the age of 56.
• Lost a senatorial race at the age of 58.
• Was elected President of the United States at the age of 60.

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 His name is Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln probably would not have gone on
to become the President if he had seen his losses as failures.

3. Whatever happens take Responsibility: If we do not believe that we are

creating our world, whether it is our success or our failures, then we are at the
mercy of our circumstances. When we take responsibility for our actions we will
realize that our lives are our choice.

4. It is not necessary to understand everything to be able to use everything.

Successful people are not necessarily the ones with the most information or the
most knowledge. Successful people know how to use what is essential with out
feeling a need to get bogged down in details.

5. People are our greatest Resources: People who produce results almost
universally have a tremendous sense of respect and appreciation for other people.
They have a sense of team, a sense of common purpose and unity. In their book
In search of excellence Thomas J Peters and Robert H Waterman have found
that the great companies have exhibited a passionate attention to people.

6 Work is play: One of the keys to success is creating a successful marriage

between what you do and what you love. Researchers find that some workaholics
are maniacally focused on work because they love it. It challenges them, it excites
them, and it makes their life richer. These people tend to look at work the way
most of us look at play. They make their vocation a vacation. They see work as
way to stretch them, to learn new things, to explore new avenues.

7. There is no abiding success without Commitment: We will find that

successful people are not necessarily the best or the brightest, the fastest or the
strongest. They are the ones with the most commitment. Successful people are
willing to do whatever it takes to succeed as long as no one is harmed in the
process.

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 Experiencing the Results
Of
Blame Frame and Outcome Frame questions

Exercise:
Think of a problem you are now facing. Have someone (or you yourself) ask both
sets of questions given below and notice the effect on you after the first and
second set of questions.

Blame Frame Questions:

1. What is wrong?
2. How does this limit you?
3. Why do you have this problem?
4. What does this problem stop you from doing that what you want to do?
5. Whose fault is it that you have this problem?
6. When was the worst time you experienced this problem?
7. Who is responsible for this problem?
8. Why are you suffering?

Outcome Frame Questions:

1. What do you want? How do you want to be?

2. When do you want this outcome?
3. How will you know that you have achieved this outcome?
4. When you get what you want what else in your life will improve?
5. What resources do you have available to help you get this outcome?
6. How can you make use of the resources that you have?
7. How would you know you were getting your outcome? What would you be doing?
8. What would be your first step toward getting your outcome?
9. How can you use what is limiting you now as a stepping stone to tell you what to do
next?
10. How can you make this problem an opportunity to get your outcome?
11. What kind of outcome do you want?
12. What would you be seeing, feeling and hearing when you have the outcome?
13. How could I get into the same outcome that you want?
14. How specifically would you communicate this outcome or put it into practice?

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15. How would you show this outcome visually/ auditorily /kinesthetically in your
behaviour?
16. As tangibly as possible show, what you do not have, in order to get this outcome
and put in what you want?
17. Show me how you would elicit the response you want. Also show me what would
happen when you get it.

The blame frame questions are problem oriented and lead to an experience of
limitations and lack of choice. Furthermore, it leads the person being questioned, as we can
all recall from our childhood, to explanations of why they do not have what they want,
excuses and justifications. If because of your upbringing you talk to yourself using the
blame frame, then switch and try the outcome frame.
The outcome-frame questions are an orientation, a framework to work within, not
just a set of questions to ask. It is a matter of being organized around possibilities rather
than limitations. The questions are about how to resolve a limitation rather than why it
exists. If you are outcome oriented, the limitations become information about what has to
be changed so that you can achieve the desired outcome.
Builders extensively use this outcome frame. If families, schools, communities and
teams start moving into this orientation, people will begin to take challenges and face
problems effortlessly. The outcome frame questions trigger a process of thinking and a
person gets focused to the resources required to over come the existing situation.
In any organization the role of a leader, is to help the group, to get focused and
move towards the outcome. Hence the leader needs to be skillful in asking questions to the
members of the group, to clarify the situation, analyze the problem and energize the
members, to reach the outcome. If on the other hand, a leader gets stuck in asking the
blame frame questions, the entire group may get stuck in giving excuses for the tasks not
completed or get de-motivated to perform the task.

Checklist for outcomes:

1. Is it broken down into achievable goals?

2. Does it meet your highly valued criteria (fun, learning, interesting, etc.)?
3. Do you have more than one choice to get there?
4. Is the first step specified and achievable?
5. Is it linked to cues in the context, where the outcome is desired?
6. Can it be tested?

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 Response and the Outcome

In order to achieve complete and full self- esteem we have to take full
responsibility for our life, for both our internal and external experiences. Often we fall
into the trap of blaming other people for how we feel and for what happens to us; the
distraction of looking for solutions to problems by focusing on supposed outside causes.
It is much more profitable, however, to look inside ourselves; regardless of who is to
blame, we are at least in charge of how we feel. Taking the point of view that we are
responsible for our responses to the world gives us more power.

E+R=O

E Stands for all the “events” of our lives.

R stands for our “response” to those events.
O stands for the “outcome” we experience.

What most people complain about in their lives are the “outcomes” of this
equation. For instance, people complain about having constant headaches at home or at
workplace, being depressed, feeling sad, feeling guilty, feeling angry being yelled at by
their parents, getting low grades in their examinations, not being able to earn lot of
money, not being able to have a healthy relationship etc.
These are all outcomes or “O’s” that have been created as the result of how they have
responded to the events –the “E’s”-in their lives.

For instance, would it be possible to go into classroom where there are many
people and feel lonely? Would it be possible for a person to go into the same classroom
and create a connection, warmth and friendship? The answer is certainly YES. It is the
same class room. The “E” is the same; there are the same people, with the same gender,
it’s the same number, same day, same temperature, and same circumstances. Yet, two
people can enter the same room and produce a very different outcome for themselves.

Why is this possible?

Because, the “R”, the “response”, is different for different individual. For example one
person might enter, look around the room and decide that everyone is too uptight, too
judgmental, too much older, too much more sophisticated, too weird, too strange too
snobbish, too serious etc and then sit back and observe everyone. At the end of the day

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that person leaves saying, “What an unfriendly classroom. I didn’t have any fun. I felt
very lonely”

Another person might come into the same room, same time, and same
circumstances and go up to someone and say, “Hi, my name is Raju, and I just moved
here from Mangalore.” That person had a different response to the same set of
circumstances and events, the same “E”. As a result, he could produce a different
“outcome” in his life.

Often what we do in life is to hope, pray or demand that the “E”, the outside
event, change. We do hear this in the form of “If only my teacher were more
understanding, if only my father was more loving, if only my friend understood how I
feel, if only…….

The fact is that “E’s” those environmental influences and other people, rarely do
change in the way we want them to. It’s not impossible, but it doesn’t often happen. In
order to produce a different outcome, we have to change our behaviour and our response.
“If I want a different outcome in the classroom, I am going to have to do something
different: reach out, participate more, raise my hand, do my homework. If I want a
different response from my mother, I am going to have to do something different in order
to get her to respond differently to me”

Now we know that 2+2=4 and will always remain equal to 4 from now on, until
the end of time. It has been 4 since the counting and addition has started. If I don’t like
the out come 4, I will have to change either the first 2 or the second 2. We have already
seen that other people or outside events are not likely to change very quickly. But we do
have the power to change our response. We can change our 2 to 4 or 5 or 8 or 12,
producing a different result or the “outcome”

Sometimes the events in our lives have already happened. Our friend has already
decided to leave us, At that point we again have a choice; we can choose to depress
ourselves by telling ourselves that no one will ever love us again the way my friend did .
We can tell ourselves that my life is over, feel depressed and suffer with in. A different
response would be to say to ourselves: “There are many people in the world that I can
have a loving relationship with. I will start to look around and find them”

This response produces a totally different outcome.

If I hit a cricket ball which crashed through the neighbour’s living room window
while playing on the street and start imagining negative events, I am likely to feel
nervous inside-that is the outcome I have produced. The ball going through the window
didn’t produce that. Another choice is to realize that I have made a mistake, I will own it,
talk to the neighbour, and replace the window. Then I have a good feeling inside.

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 If I have a teacher who is negative or critical and judgmental, I have a choice too.
I can go inside and agree with the teacher that I am a bad person or I can choose to tell
myself that their point of view is their opinion, and, I am still a good person. This leaves
me feeling okay. If they are the kind of teacher who is constantly putting down people
who make funny remarks in the classroom, I can continue to be the class clown and get in
to trouble or I can adjust my behaviour, acknowledging that they might be the one that is
uptight, but change my behaviour so that I no longer get suspended. This is the choice I
always have.

If I have a boss who is always shouting, I have a choice here also. I can go in and
say to myself that I am a stupid worker and cannot satisfy my boss or I can say that, this
is their way of expressing anger and listen to what is being said with out getting hurt
inside. This also will help me to ask for what the boss exactly wants, and correct the
things I can or give feedback or explanation.

E+R=O

This means that if we want changes in our lives, we need to stop blaming the events,
circumstances, and other people, and start focusing on our feelings and actions-our
response. That is where the power is to produce the kinds of outcomes we truly want.

GREEN HAIR:

The formula E+R=O works well in terms of seeing how we let other
people ‘make us feel bad’. For example, suppose I come up to you and tell you that
–“hay, you have green hair”. Would that make you feel bad? Certainly no, because you
know very well that you don’t have green hair. So it is not what I say to you that affects
your feelings, but, what you believe to be true about your hair. Your feeling is what
conditions your response to me.
What if I said to you, “Hey, you are mean, selfish and cruel person”. Would that hurt
you? Most probably yes. I believe that my statement would only hurt you if you have any
doubts about whether or not you are mean, selfish or cruel. If you are totally clear that
you are a loving, warm and generous person, then you wouldn’t be hurt by that statement
because you would know the truth about who you are.
“Any time someone says something to you and you feel hurt, it is because at some level
you have a doubt about yourself in that area. If I say ‘you have green hair!’ and you know
you don’t, there is no problem. The same is true with anything else in your life”

Now think of all the situations where you felt hurt when people said something about you.
Look inside and see if you have any doubts about that particular issue in your life.

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 The Power of our thoughts

Let it happen, then, just as you believe.

Jesus Christ (Mathew 9:29)

All that we are is the result of what we have thought.

Buddha

Every belief is a limit to be examined and transcended.

John C. Lilly.
.
The universe is change; our life is what out thoughts makes it.
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus.

As a man thinketh, so is he, and as a man chooseth, so is he and so is nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson.

The only thing permanent abut our behaviour patterns is our belief that they are so.
Moshe Feldenkrais.

Because a thing seems difficult for you, do no think it is impossible for anyone to
accomplish. But whatever is possible for another, believe that you, too, are capable of it.
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus.

Every time you think you are not happy, say “I am happy”. Say it strongly to yourself,
even if your feelings are contradictory. Remember, it is your self image and not you. Just
as fast as a fish can move in the water, you can instantly change to a happy, balanced
attitude.
Tarthang Tulku Rimpoche.

Whatever one believes to be true either is true or becomes true in one’s mind.
John C. Lilly.

One person with a belief is equal to a force of 99 who have only interest
John Stuart Mill

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Goal setting

Every person has goals. Some goals are so explicit and some are implicit however all of
us live with some goals in mind. It is important to have a goal and move towards it to
achieve it. It is possible to achieve any goal when we use our unconscious mind. The
famous Yale University study indicates that there is a power in writing down our goals.
There are five conditions for a well-formed goal. When these five conditions are satisfied
then the unconscious mind makes sure that the goal is reached. It is just necessary to
write them down and see that the five conditions are satisfied, and then let the
unconscious take over. You will be surprised to see the goal being achieved.
In one of our goal setting programmes we mentioned about this power of the unconscious
mind. One person took it as challenge and wrote that he wanted to build a house with in
two years. He told us he did not even have a property to build a house but he wrote it any
way. We asked him to fine tune his goal by writing all the details in the five conditions.
After two weeks he told us that he has gone to see a property and after two years we had
his invitation of his house warming ceremony.

Five conditions for Well-formed outcome:

1. State your outcome in positive terms: our unconscious mind does not
understand the negatives. Many a times people say what they don’t want rather
than saying what they want. For example we may say that I don’t want to fall sick
rather than saying that we want to be healthy. A student may say he/she doesn’t
want to get nervous in the examination. This is negatively stated. To make it
positive he/she can say I want to be confident in the examination.
2. Be as specific as possible: The goal or the outcome should be demonstrable in
sensory terms both to you as well as to others. This will answer the questions
what, when, where, how etc. For example if I would like to be confident in the
examination. I must mention which examination, how does it feels to be confident
that is, what will I be doing, seeing, saying, etc.
3. Make your outcome appropriately contextualized and specified: It is
important to note that when we achieve our goals we see the behaviours. Note that
there will be situations in which behaviours could be totally inappropriate and
vice versa. For example if my goal is to be cheerful. I must find some context
where this cheerfulness is not appropriate. Certainly I do not want to project
myself cheerful when I attend a funeral. There cheerfulness is not appropriate,
seriousness is .So I must give the brain the situations where there are exceptions
for a particular behaviour. Goal is not to take away responses or behaviours or to

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 substitute one behavior for another, but to increase one’s choices. To ensure that
the choices available will be the best, it is necessary to conceptualize desired
outcomes to specific times, persons, places, activities, etc.
4. Be in control: This condition implies that I am in control to achieve my goal. I
can’t say that ‘I will be cheerful if my boss is cheerful’. This statement indicates
that I am not in control to achieve what ever I want. I must start (initiate), and
sustain the outcome. This implies that my outcome should reflect some things I
can do directly. I can ask a question: what can I do today or now to reach my goal.
Can I start something now to move towards my goal? If I want to have a good
relationship with my friend then can I start doing something now? May be to call
my friend now. This makes me to take responsibility for moving toward my goal.
5. The outcome must preserve any positive byproducts of the present state and
be ecologically sound: Any behaviour has a positive intention. When we want to
move toward a desired out come we are not in that state. Our present state is
doing something positive for us now and that positive byproduct must be
preserved in the desired state. For example my nervousness in the examination
makes me study well and revise well before the examination. That is really
positive. That means I must be preserving that even when I am confident in facing
the examination. This will make our unconscious mind comfortable with the new
arrangement.
The purpose of the outcome being ecologically sound is mainly to orient
the individual toward considering possible future impacts of the outcomes. Many
outcomes, even though they preserve the positive by-product of the present state,
lead to situations and behaviours that may be both unexpected and unwanted. It is
important that the person be aware of what will be lost as well as what will be
gained on achieving any outcome.

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Exercise on goal setting:

 Start by making an inventory of your dreams, desires, wants the things you have
to do, want to be, and with to share. Keep your pen moving non-stop for no less
than 10 to 15 minutes. Just write down with no limits. Remember that everything
is within your grasp. When you impose limitations on yourself, be aware that
those are limitations you have created.
 Go over the list you have made, estimating when you expect to reach those
outcomes. It is helpful to set a time frame even though it may be necessary to
change it as you progress.
 Pick your four most important goals for the year. Pick the ones you are most
excited about, that will give you the most satisfaction. Find out all the reasons
why you will absolutely achieve them. Reasons are the difference between being
interested versus being dedicated in accomplishing something.
 Review this list against the five rules for well-formed outcomes. Are the
outcomes positive, specific, contextualized, stated in sensory specific terms,
maintainable by you and ecologically sound?
 Make a list of the resources you already have. You need to know the tools at your
disposal. This list would include character traits, friends, financial resources,
education, time, energy, etc. Find out all your strengths, skills, resources and
tools.
 Focus on the times you skillfully used some of these resources. Write them down.
Describe what you did that made you succeed, what questions or resources you
effectively used, and what it was about the situation that made you feel
successful.
 Describe the kind of person you would have to be to attain your goals. We hear a
lot about success, but we don’t hear as much about the components of success-the
attitudes, beliefs or behaviours that go into producing it. Write down a few
paragraphs about all the character traits, skills, attitudes, beliefs and disciplines
you would need in order to achieve al that you desire.
 Now take each of your four key goals and create a first draft of a step –by-step
plan on how to achieve them. Ask yourself,
1. What would I have to do first to accomplish this?
2. What prevents me from having it now?
3. What can I do to change this?

A helpful way to form a plan is to think of your ultimate goal and then work backward,
step-by-step. Be sure your plans include something you can do toady.

* Nova Bangalore.

Website: www.novabangalore.com

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