My stay at Krishnamurti Study Centre, Sahyadri, KFI Pune

A writeup by Savita Vernekar, Karwar, Residential Scholar at Sahyadri 2009-2010

First of all I express my gratitude to Kishore sir for giving me an opportunity to stay at Krishnamurti
Study Centre Sahyadri. This has given a big turn to my life at the right juncture. I am equally thankful to
the members of the managing committee of the foundation.

I think it is necessary for me to mention a few things about my background here. I come from a village-
Kodasani, about 40 kilometers away from Karwar. It is in the forest area on a hill. My family is an
orthodox family. My grandfather is a temple priest at Gokarn. He believes in all religious rites and
rituals. So he expected me to do all these things at home. I was supposed to worship daily the gods at
home in pooja-room. But somehow right from the beginning I had dislike for all these things. I found it
all mechanical. I never felt any peace and sanctity in these rituals. I enjoyed walking in the forest and
along the river, watching the birds, collecting forest berries and pebbles from streams. There is a
primary school in the village which offers education up to seventh standard. In our village as a custom,
girls are not educated. I was eagerly hoping to complete my primary education and to leave Kodasanni
for high school education.

Somehow it so happened that one of my relatives suggested Dr. Anaveker’s place at Karwar. They were
keen to be guardians for a promising student. I decided to try my luck and visited their house. They
gladly accepted me. The environment where I entered now was entirely different from my home at
Kodasani. They immediately put me in a school. Here I could see nothing else but books at home. In
addition to formal education I had a chance to learn many things about life.

My guardians who were now my foster father & mother, were often discussing many things from
Vedas, Upanishads and Buddhism. Many students from Karwar used to join these discussions. Swami
Bikash Giri, a young sanyasi who met my parents at Kailash Manasarovar used to visit our house and
stay with us for a week or two. I had a chance to listen to discussions on many spiritual topics. Swamiji
was very much interested in Krishnamurti teachings. My father used to discuss with him Krishnamurti’s
teaching till late at night. I used to sit with them silently and listen. This affected me very deeply.

I visited Buddhist settlement at Mundgod. There I met many Lamas and listened to them. I remember
one day I asked my mother that everyday you are discussing Krishnamurti, who was he? She told me
about Krishnamurti and that his teaching in essence was “observer is the observed”. She explained
everything about the observer, the observed and observation. Since then I started thinking seriously
about my relationship with teaching.

Luckily I attended one workshop in study center Sahyadri with my friends.

When I first landed in Sahyadri my joy had no limits. It was a paradise on earth. Suddenly I
remembered that I had seen this place in my dream two years ago.
Kishore sir was very friendly and affectionate to us. We used to go for evening walks with him. I told
him how deeply I liked the place. Everything here was new to me. There was a feeling of great freedom
and peace. I wished I could stay here longer. He said that he would try to do something about it. With
my friends I attended the workshop for seven days. Topics discussed here were totally new to me. Every
aspect of life was deeply considered here. It was the first time that I felt that I was looking into my own
mind. Earlier my brain was too busy to feel space within. After so many years I could feel the space in
my mind.

Kishore sir was kind enough to appoint me as a residential scholar. I was very much delighted. After
two moths I came back to stay here as a residential scholar. A new chapter in my life had begun. I was
feeling fresh. I was feeling energetic. I was eager to learn about life. My father had told me to find out
my own faults within and not outside. I have attended eleven workshops and two gatherings during last
one year. The topics discussed were related to daily living. I never felt that we were discussing theories.
There was freedom, in the sense that there was no compulsion in any form. I was always at ease and
discussions went deep within me and made me silent most of the time. Here I came to know what it
means to listen, to see without ones own background. I could sense my own reactions to challenges. I
was aware of so many things in my mind, which earlier went unnoticed for years. I really entered a
totally different world-a very big inner world.

Earlier spirituality, religion, meditation, ambition, attention, anger, fear, jealousy and relationship were
just words with some dictionary meaning to them. But now they are living entities to me. Thanks to
Kishore sir I have been exposed to vastness of life beyond imagination - from a poor daily wage earner
to corporate man, from simple to sophisticated, from superficial to serious, from clear certainty to
confused uncertain mind. I could meet all these people here. Living with them was learning.

I realized that it was futile to discuss Krishnamurti teachings as a theory. They have to be pondered
deeply within with challenges of ones own mind. Sometime I had strong experience during workshop.
When I listened with complete attention I suddenly entered into a state where there was silence, no
thoughts. I was alone without I in the lotus hall during discussions though there were other participants.
The moment thought came, I was aware of the presence of others.

It was amazing to realize that some sessions in the annual gathering here I had seen in my dream some
years ago. I enjoyed going for long walks alone. I never felt bored and homesick. My mind never craved
for T.V. or friends. Wherever I met Kishore sir, in his office, in dinning hall or on Python hill during
walk, I saw always affectionate smile on his face. I met people with great sorrow of loosing their dear
ones, people with broken heart and utterly lonely. These workshop, dialogues and friendly talks with
them have helped them to come out of their depth of sorrow. I met foreigners who had serious interest in
K’s teaching, Vedas, Upanishads, Buddhism and Indian life style and austerity. They had spent many
years studying and practicing Yoga. They were hard working and serious. Some of them were
disciplined and strict. They had respect for devotional way of life.

On the contrary I met a foreigner who in a serious dialogue in the lotus hall had his one foot on K’s
book. He was totally unaware of it. When pointed out he did not feel anything wrong about it. Probably
that was his way to deny any authority. I have rich twelve memorable moths of my life which have
precious moments spent in the company of nature and in the atmosphere of K’s teaching. I experienced
what it was to learn in freedom. Kishore sir never had do’s and don’ts for me. He was always friendly,
affectionate and protective. I express my deep sense of gratitude of him. I am also thankful to all the
members of Krishnamurti foundation of India.

Thank you very much for reading my happy little account of the stay of one year at Sahyadri, Pune.

06/09/2010 Savita Vernekar, Karwar