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A Guide To Successful Panhandling

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rsBN 0-55150-}e-3

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By M.T. Pockets
89088912120
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T t is a sad but true fact of life in America

II
today that people can be reduced to
the status of begging on the streets.
Anyone living in any medium to large city
can attest to the fact that panhandlers are
everywhere on the urban landscape. Some
are aggressive and obnoxious while others
are passive and restrained; all of them are
very noticeable. Perhaps their visibility is
enhanced because people do everything
they can to ignore the panhandlers of
America.
what is not so well known is how success-
ful some panhandlers are. While most beg-
gars hope to earn $10 to $12 per day from
their panhandling, others earn as much as
$200 a day and it is entirely possible that
some earn significantly more - mind you,
this is tax-free cash. What this book does is
provide the reader with the techniques
necessary to panhandle one's way into the
higher income brackets. In this book you will
learn how to select your intended giver,
2 rnn nnGGan's rrANDBooK
how to dress, how to select a location, how
to use props, how to avoid the police, how
to get along with other panhandlers, and
the mistakes most panhandlers make that
you should never, never make. So the choice
is yours, you can approach people, asking
for ten cents for a "cuppa cawfee" and
slowly starve to death, or do what the com-
petent beggar does and live rather well,
even in an expensive city such as New York
or Boston.
As I said, the vast bulk of panhandlers
make $10 to $12 on an average day. While it
is possible to make $200 per day, the author
does not suggest that anyone contemplat-
ing a career change should take up begging
for a living. But should the need ever arise,
all the information necessary is collected
between these two covers. In today's vola-
tile economic climate no one can tell just
when he or she is likely to suddenly be out
of a job. Panhandling can provide a financial
bridge to the next job. While it is definitely
not suggested, many people have chosen to
become career beggars; it is left to the
reader to decide whether this is a desirable
lifestyle.
It is true that traditional panhandling can
be demeaning but, on the whole, it offers
numerous advantages over holding a "real"
job. You can be completely anonymous.
Many panhandlers have given themselves
names that they use on the streets. Fur-
thermore, as a panhandler, you are your
own boss, you set your own hours, and you
deal with only those people you want to
deal with. lf you live in an urban environ-
ment and are interested in dropping out
economically, then panhandling can be an
ideal means to that end. You are also paid in
tax-free cash, so every dollar you make is
like making $1.35 or more at the same in-
come level attained in a "real" job. you can
also spend this money direcfly, without
visiting a bank and enduring any of that
nonsense. Beyond all this, you will be freer
than you ever have been, with more spare
time than you ever thought imaginable
when you worked a "real" job. At last, you
can write the great American novel that is
lurking somewhere inside you, or learn
Japanese, or watch reruns of cilligan's lsland
all your free time without the guitty feeting
that you are wasting your time. As a pan-
handler, at last you can be the true master
of your time which is, after all, your life.
The information in this book was collect-
ed by interviewing a number of successful
4 THEBEGGAR,SHANDBOOK
panhandlers operating in and around mid-
town Manhattan. New York City offers an
extreme example in that 5,000 to 7,000
panhandlers are active during any given
rush hour and their number is noticeably
increasing with every passing month. Yet
the beggars interviewed for this book
generally weren't even recognized as beg-
g?rs; for the most Part theY dress and
speak as well as the people they approach.
This offers more advantages than just a
larger income; it also keeps the police and
other panhandlers at bay, simply because
they never know that these people are pan-
handling. Should they be caught in the act,
it is easy for them to disappear by blending
into the crowd. So here it is everything
- it
you will need to know to successfully pan-
handle on the streets of any big city. Sure,
it may seem demeaning, but by being intel-
ligent about it, it can also mean big bucks.
Upon becoming a panhandler, by choice
or by circumstance, the first problem to
confront is that of personal integrity. You
will have to tell some lies, but the lies you
tell will be of minor proportions compared
to most of the lies you will be hearing while
out on the town. Alas, we live in a world of
lies and to the more cynical among us it
j
I
must seem that those people who are the
best liars are also the most successful at
both business and life. lf you are out on the
street and you have no other means of fi-
nancial support, then panhandling is your
business. Nobody goes into any business
with the express intent of failing at it, so if
telling the occasional minor lie is an essen-
tial part of achieving success, then you
must do it. lf you can overcome this ob-
stacle, you are already most of the way to-
ward becoming a successful panhandler.
From here on, the rest is mere detail and
embellishment that makes the game fun
and more profitable.
ow seems that every urban
dweller has been approached bY
some incoherent, filthy, ragged, lice-
eaten bum who asked for "a quarter" or
some "spare change." Please take a moment
to picture this scene in your mind, then
draw a big red "X" through it. lf you have
any personal experience in this matter, ask
yourself whether you gave him the quarter
or whatever. You probably did not. Every-
thing about this approach is all wrong and
chances are that this person will never be
able to raise himself from his deplorable
condition.
 **-1
I
i
6 rnn anccaR's rLANDBooR
he successful beggar picks the time
and place as much as he selects the
person to approach. At all times, the
successful beggar is aware, coherent, and in
full control of the situation, even though
his intended giver is usually not aware of
this.
While the most critical aspect of begging
is telling the minor lie, selecting the right
place is also important, particularly when
there is so much competition, even if it is
not such intense competition.
First, major transportation hubs are
good, even if seemingly overworked by
panhandlers. The fact of the matter is that
the police regularly scour these places of
panhandlers in the mistaken belief that
making the beggars move on will solve the
problem of panhandling. (By the time you
finish this book, you will realize that pan-
handling is not the problem; it is the solu-
tion.l lf you use the principles ouflined in
this book, you will neither be recognized as
a panhandler nor treated like one by the
police. So, the major transportation hubs
are reasonably safe for you to exploit.
A related problem that must be in the
forefront of the intelligent panhandler's
mind is that panhandlers prey upon one
another. These people are usually disenfran-
chised and feel that they have little to fear
from the law, especially when attacking one
of their own kind. By following the instruc-
tions in this book, particularly those regard-
ing how to dress and act, you will be safe
from virtually all situations that may arise.
And always keep your accumulated cash
out of sight.
Second, working outside financial institu-
tions, known gambling establishments (such
as the oTB in New York city), movies, the-
aters, and restaurants has potential, but
each place needs its own routine;always ap-
proach people on the way out of these
establishments, never when they are going
in (any businessman will tell you that you
are more apt to close the deal after lunch
than before; the same is true with panhan-
dlingl. In the case of gambling establish-
ments, be sure to not approach any losers
(of which you shall certainly see ffi?fl!);
people who have just won are flush with
cash and more than willing to part with a
few doilars. These people are also supersti-
tious and you might try the line of how giv-
ing away a few dollars will help their luck in
the future, but we are getting ahead of
ourselves.
8 rnn nnGcen's rrANDBooK
hird, street corners are bad. Corners
have bad associations in the minds of
most people. Concentrate on the
middle of blocks. Make yourself visible, that
is, don't hide in doorways or around cor-
ners. lf it is at night, place yourself directly
under a streetlight. Be sure to make your-
self apparent. People cannot give you
money if they cannot see you. Also, scaring
people *deliberately or otherwise -is
behavior that is to be avoided by the intel-
ligent beggar. lf you are interested in work-
ing the streets and scaring people, then you
should become a mugger, which carries its
own set of problems. lf you are interested
in making a good living as a panhandler,
make as few waves as possible. To many
readers, this must seem obvious, but so
many panhandlers ignore this that I feel I
must emphatically state it.
As can be seen from this discussion, urban
areas offer the best chances of success as a
panhandler, simply because you have the
widest possible choice of potential givers.
Once you have chosen a location, always
be sure to stick with it for at least two
days. The reason for this is that the spot
must be properly broken in and you must
t
become accustomed to the peculiarities
and nuances of the location. Once you know
your chosen spot, you can work it to your
advantage. As an example, one panhandler
of my acquaintance, not letting it be known
that he was a panhandler, built up acquaint-
ances with numerous people who came to
know him as a pretty good person and a
regular fixture at that general location
every day at the time they passed hy. What
these people did not know was that ten
minutes later, he was working on someone
with whom he had already built a friend-
ship. From that latter person, he not only
got his train fare, but also money for flow-
ers as a present for his (nonexistent, I might
add) wife. He developed a friendship with a
middle aged female executive and on one
occasion even scared off an obnoxious type
panhandler. About a week later, he hit her
up for ffioh€y; he got $20 and he was thank-
ed for the privilege of letting her give it to
him. To this day, they still smile and ex-
change hellos upon meeting. This is an ideal
way to panhandle, hut it takes time, prac-
tice and being at a single spot at the same
time every day while not appearing to pan-
handle to develop this level of skill.
After you have observed people passing
by in crowds, you get to recognize certain
1O THE BEGGAR,S HANDBOOK
types. When you look at someone as a
potential giver, you have to ask yourself
some questions. You cannot make
assumptions... you have to ask yourself
questions and get some concrete answers
based upon observation and your experi-
ence. So choose an intended benefactor and
size him or her up. How is this person
dressed? Does this person smoke? ls this
person carrying a briefcase? ls this person
carrying a newspaper? ls it rolled up neatly
or just folded? Are this person's shoes
expensive? Are they freshly polished? ls this
person alone? In a group of three or more?
With a member of the opposite sex? ls this
person smiling? Does this person look tired?
Happy? Depressed? Hungry? Eager? As you
read this book, you will see that these
characteristics and dozens more will apply
in telling you what you need to know about
this person. In fact, in time, you will become
a great observer of people and you will be
able to tell them things about themselves
that they are scarcely aware of; but this
comes later. Right now, all you are inter-
ested in is assessing your mark and getting
as much as possible from this person.
Experience dictates that neatness counts
when choosing someone to approach; if
they look neat and fastidious, they are
usually givers, but not apt to give much. On
the other hand, sloppy people are less often
apt to be givers, but when they are, it is
generally more money. Here the individual
has to decide whether he is interested in
fast nickels or slow dollars; remember that
if you run off on a wild goose chase, the
time spent is essentially wasted, unless you
are cultivating someone for a big payoff.
You want to be active, yes, but you also
want to be selective to maintain a high rate
of success and, in the process, a good rate
of payoff. Being selective is no problem;
people come and people 9o... as one goes,
there's always another one coming along to
take his or her place. Just he sure to keep
rejection in its proper perspectiv€; ev€rV-
one is rejected from time to time. Try, try
ag?in; even the people who once rejected
you might give to you later on when your
routine is more polished. This author has de-
termined that you can hit up the same
people as often as once every sixty days
without them remembering you; of course,
you have to change your routine because
while faces are often forgotten, your pitch
is not. And, of course, one of the objects of
becoming a panhandler is to become a good
one. This means always experimenting with
 12 mE BEGGAR'; HANDBIIK
new ideas and routines; discard those that
don't work and keep those that do. tm_
provement is a rapid process, especially
with ail the competition out tne're tnat
never even tries to improve.
ow, you have to ask yourself an-
|. T other
rl\lr moment, accept the proposition
important question. For the
tha.t Tgst peopte are fundambntaily good
and willing to help, yet most people vrTon,t
help a typic.at panhandter. Why is dnisa Weil,
from questioning a number of people clro-
sen at random, I have been tolct that these
people are afraid that any money given
won't be used to buy food, even tnolrgn tne
panhandler may be in obvious dire need of
a good meal. people are fearful that the
panhandler will use the money to buy alco_
hol or drugs. euite often, thd panhahdlers
have only themselves to blame for this at-
titude. As was said before, they are usually
dirty and incoherent; quite often, there i3
alcohol on the panhandlers breath. Even if
the panhandler won,t be using the money
for alcohol or drugs, the prosFective give'r
thinks that he or she probably'wiil.
For this reason, you must present an
image that keeps this out of the mind of
the prospective giver. you must be neat
13
and coherent, and if you have been drink-
ing, don't panhandle.By presenting the pro-
spective giver with an image that they do
not associate with panhandlers, you will not
be associated with panhandlers. This carries
numerous advantages, as will be explained
later.
fn he first rule to remember when ap-
I.I
proaching an intended benefactor is
to present a good image. In addition
to being dressed correcfly and presentably,
you must be friendly and coherent. Do not
be hostile or obnoxious, as all too many
beggars are. Because your image is good,
you should have no problem in making the
initial approach. At this point you must
make your pitch, and the pitch has to be a
pretty good one, because you don't get a
second chance.
The second rule to remember is that the
most successful business transactions are
those that leave both parties happy after
the transaction is complete. Here, you are
- -
literally selling an image of yoursetf. lf
the person buys, he or she gives you some
money and you are happy. In theory, you
have the money, and you shouldn't care
how the giver feels after the fact. This is a
tragic mistake made by most panhandlers.
14 THE BEGGAR,S IIANDBOOK
To be a successful panhandler you must
lead the intended giver to believe that you
will be slightly improved by the gift, how-
ever small. When you make youl^ approach,
be fearful, be distressed, be upset, even be
a little disoriented, but be coherent. Lead
the intended giver to believe that his or her
gift will restore your equilibrium. This will
lead the giver to believe that he or she will
feel good about this transaction afterward.
Of course, when You get what You want,
look relieved. The giver will feel every bit as
good about the transaction as you do.
There is no sense doing it the other w?Y; ?ll
that does is engender hostility and just-
possibly -problems with the authorities in
and around your chosen place of work. Once
you are marked as a troublemaker, you will
be forced to move on and that can mean
giving up a goldmine fon a tin quarry. I do
not need to further belabor the irnplica-
tions in terms of dollars received for effort
made.
Assuming you are in a transportation
hub, and you have found your prospect, try
this pitch, "Excuse rne, I don't like imposing,
but my wallet was taken and I need (how-
ever much money) to get to (wherever).
can you please help mez" lf you are in a
15
transportation hub, and you are selective in
who you deliver this pitch to, it can be ef-
fective up to 90% of the time. Be sure to
find out how much it actually costs to get
to the destination you have chosen. Fur-
thermore, have a certain pained, plaintive
sound in your voice. lf the person hems and
haws, pound the final nail into the coffin by
adding: "l called home and my wife and kids
are worried sick about me. Please, help me."
Now, let's take a moment to study this
pitch. You are, of course, free to use it, but
it is my hope that you wilt consider what
makes this one work, and develop your own
pitches around the same principtes.
Tl irst, by being in a transportation hub,
IH
you are almost assuring that you will
choose a commuter. one of the great-
est fears of any commuter is getting
stranded without any money. For this rea-
son, the commuter you approach is readily
able to identify with your plight and is wiil-
ing to help. Like successful gamblers, per-
haps they are a little superstitious and
think that if they help you, it wiil prevent
this from ever happening to them. These
and other considerations enter into play
here, and they all work in the favor of the
panhandler who uses thern.
16 THE BEGGAR'9 HANDBqqK
econd, the added part about the
children generally wins them over.
Perhaps that
Person, too, has small
children and is fearful of being separated
from them, but this works only in the case
of younger intended givers. The pitch,
however, does work well with women of all
ages.
The person may reply, "Why don't you go
to a policeman?"
You answer, "l did," then get that fearful
sound into your voice again, and acld, "They
walked around the Terminal with me, look-
ing for the two guys who robbed me, but
we didn't find them. All l'm concerned with
is getting home tonight. They said they
can't help me, not even a lousy loan. This
has never happened to me before. What am
I going to do?"
That will usually do it. lf the person offers
to buy you a ticket, accept graciously; it can
be sold later, often for greater than list
price to someone who doesn't want to wait
in line. lf the person simply gives you
money, accept it with a smile and a reply
such as, "Thank you ever so much. My wife
and children are grateful, too. l'll be sure to
have little Polly say a prayer for you to-
night, my good Samaritan, the person who
17
helped me when I was in need." For a per-
sonalized touch, you might want to ask the
giver his or her first name and work it into
your thank you.
lf the person wants to see you on the
train, mumble something about having to
go to the bathroom, now that all that ner-
vous tension has been released. The person
will generally understand. lf that person
wants to follow you into the bathroom...
well, now you have a problem. (The chances
of this happening are so small that they can
be safely ignored.) In any event, if your
benefactor suddenly becomes a pest, it is
easy to lose him or her in the crowd. Re-
member, you are dressed specifically for
this purpose.
Now let's consider another hypothetical
example; a gentleman, neatly and expen-
sively dressed, whom you have assessed as
being in finance walks by. You see that day's
edition of The Wail Street Journal neafly
rolled up under his arm. Now, if it is morn-
ing, this is an event of no great significance,
but if it is the evening, this is another
matter all together. The Journal is this
man's Bible. use this fact. walk up to him
and say, "Excuse me, Sir, but my wallet was
taken and I need some money to get home.
 --1
18 THE BEGGAR'; ITANDItooK
My wife and children are worried." Then, be-
fore he has a chance to say anything at all,
add, "lnteresting story this morning about
the declining sales of cenentech's Activase.
They say it will lower quarterly earnings by
almost fifty cents a share. And I thought
Activase would be a real ground-breaking
drug, even at its high Price."
This is so incongruous with the situation
of being in distress that your chosen bene-
factor will be caught completely off guard.
He or she will be surprised, but pleasantly
so. I can guarantee you this person will he
eating out of your hand, but with the
Journal, there are some rules to be followed
and they are inviolable'
1. Do this only with the JournaL wnY? rc
is available everywhere in these United
States, it is read by affluent people,
and the people who read it take it very
seriously.
2. lf you have read that day's Journal,
you can't be a bum or panhandler be-
cause bums and panhandlers read the
local papers, the tabloids, maybe the
local semi-underground paper or (if
educatedl The New York Times. But the
Journal? Never!
19
3. lf you are making an intelligent com-
ment about something in that day's
Journal, you are probably at least in-
terested in business. The person with
the Journalwill be interested, too, and
start talking to you. He (or she) is now
putty in your hands.
I might also add that it is in your better
interests to choose a story on the front
page of the Journal, and not from the
"human Interest" column. The reason for
this is that while everyone buys and reads
the Journal, few read the whole thing.
Everybody reads the front page, though,
and you stand an almost certain chance of
picking something that will be recognized
by the intended giver; if you choose some-
thing buried in the middle of page 64, you
are taking an unnecessary chance.
This technique can also work with the
Journal's sister puhlication, BarronS. I once
saw someone, obviously a bum, reading a
current Barron's. Someone, obviously a fi-
nancial type, approached him and said,
"lmagine, a bum reading Barron's!"
The bum, not taking this lightly, replied,
"Hey, look, Mister, if you buy me dinner, l'll
give you a hot commodity tip""
20 THEBEGGAR,S HANDBOOK
"You, ha ha! All right, give me the tip
first."
"You'll want to go short on near term
copper this week, but buy and hold the long
term futures."
The financial type started listening
intently. "Why?"
"lncreasing demand for automobiles and
particularly automobile replacement parts
will spur growth of demand for copper.
Combine that with chronic but increasing
labor and civil unrest in the South American
copper producing regions and you are sure-
ly headed into a period of drastic price
increases. Short term, though, warehouse
stocks are at an all-time high because of
what's entered the production pipeline due
to the recent minor price increases. People
will look at the warehouse stock figures and
act on them without looking any further."
"Thanks," the financial type said, "l can
use that."
I
Now, realizing that he couldn't be seen at
dinner with this bum, the financial type had
to get out of it somehow. "Look," he said, "l
gotta run. No time for dinner now. Here,
take this."
21
It was a crumpled fifty dollar bill.
The bum was clearly aware that I had wit-
nessed the whole transaction. htrigued, I
walked over to him.
"lt was all nonsense (he used a stronger
word). Just a lot of financial jargon. Every
week, I buy Barrons... it's not too expensive
($2.00 the last time I |ooked), and it pays
dividends that transcend any stock l'm
aware of."
"What do you mean?" 1 asked.
"Works every time. Learn the jargon and
hit them with it. Hard. They don't know
what's going to happen any more than I do.
Make a good argument, and make it logical.
They never expect to see a beggar reading
Barrons.lt's absurd, but you get their guard
down. They don't know what to expect
then. But when you tell them what they
want to hear, they reach for their wallets,
especially when the ground rules have al-
ready been established."
"What ground rules?"
"l told him he would have to take me to
dinner."
"Oh yeah."
"And like I said, it works every time."
 1
I
i
22 THE BEGGAR'g rL4NDBooK
"What do you mean?"
"Look."
He pulled out a roll of bills about an inch
thick. There was nothing under a five in
there, but mostly tens and twenties, with a
few fifties mixed in. He added his new fifty
to the kitty and resumed his reading.
"Excuse me. I have to get back to work."
There is a lesson to be learned here. First,
he had his intended givers come to him. In
the best of all worlds, this is what happens,
hut it is so rare as to deserve comment in
a book like this. In the real world of panhan-
dling, before you take on the virtuoso stuff
like this, you have to master the basics. To
master the basics, you enter the transac-
tion as the active one and you have to
make the chosen giver become the active
one by reaching into his or her wallet. When
they are the active one in the transaction,
they are giving you the money you want,
which is the whole object of panhandling in
the first place.
It is also worthy of note that he looked
like a bum; he was filthy. He could get away
with this; in fact, it was essential to his par-
ticular method of panhandling.
23
T n addition to the financial approach,
I this same tactic can be used with artsy
I people (especially the dilettantish types
who fancy themselves "experts"), animal
lovers, car lovers, college students, fashion-
plates, computer jocks... well, here you are
limited only by your individual enterprise,
enthusiasm, and interests.
Here's another example' a man smoking
an expensive pipe comes along. Start the
pitch about losing your wallet and needing
to get home. The rest is simPle'
"Mister, isn't there some Latakia in that
blend? Tell me, do you believe the legend
about Latakia?"
"What do you mean?"
"That Latakia is cured in the smoke of
burning dried camel dung."
(Not everyone knows this legend. You
have broken the ice and established a de-
gree of common ground. That, plus you
have shown yourself to be astute.) Inhale
deeply through your nose again, "There I
smell it, the Latakia and perhaps a touch of
Perique."
He will be in a giving mood by this time.
Vou must do as the bum with the Bar'
ron's did; vou rnust establish the ground
24 THE BEGGAR,S IIANDB)OK
rules. You must make them draw the con-
clusion that you are dumb, but upon open-
ing your mouth, you must become an Ein-
stein, a veritable cornucopia of brilliant
verbiage. once you have established that
you are smart and possibly - Ood forbid -
smarter than your chosen giver, you are
the one in control. You set the pace and you
make the demands. Once you have estab-
lished this relationship, and this is the rela-
tionship you want, you have won. From
that point on it's just a matter of how
much you get. When you use the specialized
approaches discussed here and direct them
at the right person, you do not get nickels
and dimes out of the deal; these yield
strictly folding stuff, and usually five dol-
lars or more.
Let's consider one more case, then we'll
move on.
You spy a musician. He has a cello. He
seems to be a good prospect. We'll take it
from there.
"Excuse me, Sir. l'm in trouble. Can you
help me?"
(This is the beginning of most on-the-
street scams and con jobs. He will probably
be on guard. No problem.)
25
efore he has a chance to raise a hue
and cry, ?dd, "A cello. MY God, what
wonderful music. Darker than a violin
or viola, yet not as ponderous as a bass.
Jesus, I remember seeing casals at Marl-
borough... he was playing the Dvorak con-
certo. Had it on records too. Loved that
opening passage in the first movement.
And Bartok. Do you play any of the String
Quartets? You probably could. I think the
Second and Fifth Quartets are the best (so
do most critics). The Fifth takes on certain
atonal characteristics... very enjoyable."
At this point, he either likes you and is
more than willing to give, or has dismissed
you as a knowledgeable, but unlikeable
nutcake. Musicians are generally quite nice
people and generous to a fault, especially
with fellow musicians and music lovers. But
you must have a good, factually accurate
spiel. Not difficult, but you cannot do this
on a universal basis. lf, however, you choose
to concentrate only on cello players, you
are apt to starve to death. Spread your ex-
pertise around through a range of fields,
keep it up to date and be sure that you're
right when you use it (which you won't
hesitate to do when the opportunity pre-
sents itself).
26 THE BEGGAR'g rrANDBooK
omen present a whole new set of
problems. Here is a good approach.
Do not start with the line about
losing your wallet. Find someone suitable,
then muster up all your acting talent. Smile
broadly, approach the woman and say,
"Patricia! How are you? lt's been several
months, now, hasn't it?"
At this point, she is completely baffled.
Don't give her a chance to talk at al].
Instead, continue with:
- do this to New York City women who have
"How's your Billy? And the cat? What was
his name, oh yes, let's see, it was Snooker,
wasn't it? Look, I loved having you over last
Summer out on the lsland, and I would love
to have you over again. Tell me, have you
done any recent photo sessions with Tom?"
Now, you are associating her with a
model. She's flattered, but who's this patri-
cia? She will tell you she's not Patricia, but
she's intrigued with it all.
"Oh, PatriciatAlways the practicaljoker! lt
is you, and Tom's over there, photograph-
ing the whole thing for my surprise party
next week."
Well, the ice is broken. Continue the cha-
rade, but finally give in. She's probably your
friend by now. Then say:
27
"Too bad you're not Patricia. I have a little
problem. My wallet was stolen and I need
train fare home. After all, I have to get back
and feed my cats, oh, sorry, but the resem-
blance is so uncanny..."
She'll give you whatever you need, pro-
vided she has it. A routine like this deserves
and generally receives a minirnum of ten
dollars.
There is, however, an exception. Do not
seen and heard everything, and will doubt-
less think that this is a pickup line. Women
in other cities are usually not so enamored
of their own self worth, so this can (and
does) work elsewhere.
At this point, I might add that homosex-
ual men tend to be more generous than les-
bians. I do not know why this should be, ex-
cept for the income differential that is sup-
posed to exist between these two groups.
lf it's your thing, and you're comfortable
playing the part of a homosexual, you can
make tons of money. Of course, there's al-
ways the possibility that you might be
called upon to back this uP...
Now, let's look at all of these routines and
see if there is something general that can
be derived and used.
28 THE BEGGAR'g rL4NDBooK
irst, the approach was made. The in-
tended giver may have expected
something, but what he or she got
was not what he or she expected. The
element of surprise is important. Yes, make
it clear that you are not a bum, transient or
panhandler. No. You are special. You don't
look the part and what's on the outside
confirms this. When you open your mouth,
you show them that what's on the inside
isn't what's inside a typical bum or pan-
handler. You, therefore, are deserving of
respect and some minor f inancial
assistance.
Second, you are playing on their fears.
You might not see your children that night.
They will worry. lf this person does not
come across, he or she is apt to believethat
he or she is responsible for some tear-
stained pillows in suburbia that night.
Third, you are demonstrating that you
are not only their equal, but perhaps their
superior. By giving them a chance to help,
you are making them feel good, because
you are making them feel momentarily
superior to you. The giver's attitude be-
comes one of, "You may be smart, but at
least l've got the green."
29
How you dress is what largely makes it
possible for you to begin your approach to
your intended giver. As has already been
said but cannot he over-emphasized, do not
look like a bum. You want to make serious
money, not the little dribs and drabs that
might be occasionally dropped into a tin
cup and amount to a few dollars after a
long workday. You have to look the part of
the stories you are telling to these people.
Dressing like an upper level executive won't
cut it because people like that never seem
to be in trouble, and most of your intended
givers are more afraid of their bosses than
they are of a crazed panhandler approach-
ing him or her with a stiletto drawn and
murderous intentions (which is a mere day-
to-day experience for most large city
commuters).
Look like someone who works in the mail-
room, or shipping. Yes, wear a tie, a clean
shirt, and a sweater. Since one's hair is
usually what gets dirty first, it is important
that the hair be clean and well-kept. Also, be
sure the fingers and the fingernails are
clean; you don't want these people to be
afraid of catching something when they
put money in your hand. You want to come
across as someone who is starting out in life
30 THE BEGGAR,S IIANDBOOK
and doing everything he possibly can do to
better himself and make life better for his
family. Life is tough, especially for someone
who is just starting out in the big city. All
these factors weigh heavily in your favor.
Tf o not wear loud colors or anything
I I that's in bad taste. Do not wear any-
u thing that might identify you with
any political or religious group, no maffer
how mainstream it may be. Do wear a thin,
plain, gold wedding band (it can be fake) and
a cheap wristwatch. Do be neat and pre-
sentable.
Smoking is an interesting problem. Some
potential givers are drawn to it as a magnet
attracts nails;others are totally repulsed by
clouds of cigarette smoke. The best general
advice is don't smoke on the job. lf you get
an enthusiastic smoker who turns out to be
a giver, you might want to mention that
you don't have any cigarettes, either. lt
can't hurt, especially if you don't intend to
buy or smoke them.
Another interesting problem is the rain.
Rain has a strange effect on commuters
and people moving through the street - it
tends to speed them up. This can work to
your advantage, in that people are more
apt to make a snap judgement to give you
31
something. This can also work against you;
they can simply pass you by, only more
quickly than usual. Umbrellas are an exten-
sion of this phenoffi€hon; people with um-
brellas are usually too busy maneuvering
the umbrella to give you any money, but
when you encounter a giver with an um-
brella, they are usually very generous.
Another matter that has to he consid-
ered is the use of props. For the purposes of
this discussion, we will consider "props" to
be any physical objects, in your possession
or your proximity, that can be used to your
advantage. When you are starting out,
props are better avoided because they
provide a crutch that detracts from devel-
oping your verbal patter, which is the most
important weapon in the panhandler's ar-
senal.
Props, when used, must be carefully
selected. A pair of glasses and a few text-
books automatically lend credence to your
claim of being a college student. A briefcase
makes you into an office worker or an
executive. A violin case makes you either a
concert musician or a contract killer. Some
props also overpower the delivery of your
spiel. lt is important that the prop be a sup-
porting element of your presentation,
32 THE BEGGAR'9 IIANDBqqK
something that increases sympathy for you
and/or makes you and/or your plight more
believable. All this is accomplished easily
enough, if a little care is used, but examples
of a prop that works and one that doesn't
will be given.
T f you are a musician and you can play
II
well, there is a good approach you can
use. Play your music and play it well.
Let's say you're a violinist, though this
approach can be used with virtually any
instrument short of the comb and tissue
paper. (There is a comb and tissue paper
virtuoso who regularly works 42nd Street
and Third Avenue in Manhattan. Judging
from what I saw in the cap he had on the
sidewalk at his feet, he does not do very
well.)
When your intended giver comes by, play
the passage incorrectly. Make it something
painful. lf you have a violin, you have an ad-
vantage; you can remove a string. With
other instruments, the problem is not so
visible, so you must be prepared to explain
it to a bunch of neophytes. Make it good,
though; if you're playing a trumpet, you
never know when you might haPPen to
select a professional trumpet mechanic.
33
Explain as follows,
"l'm a poor student. I need that string.
Can you please help me?"
It is easier than you might think to get
the right p€rson; people are touchy about
music.
"How much do they cost?"
Give a realistic figure; you never know
when you might be talking to the propri-
etor of a violin string emporium. I can guar-
antee you that you will get a hefty portion
of the amount you asked for and, as often
as not, even more than you asked for.
On the other hand, props can backfire.
Suppose you are standing somewhere with
a cute dog.
"What a cute dog." They have made the
approach. lf they look prosperous enough,
you can continue with your presentation,
"Thank you. Fifi is a really great dog and
she's due at the vet for her shots and
physical in about twenty more minutes,
but, blast it all, ldon't have cab fare and l'm
a long way from where I live. They won't let
me take her on the subway, and I didn't
know that until it was too late. What am I
going to do?"
34 THE BEGGAR,S IIANDBOOK
Now, the chances are only about 50/50
that you'll get anything, let alone cab fare.
Why is this?
ell, by this time, your intended
giver is more enamored of the dog
than he or she is of you or your
story. This person couldn't care less about
you, but Fifi... that's another story. lf the
dog could ask, the dog would be in a cab by
now, racing to the vet's office. But it is you
who's doing the asking. lt's you who's going
to pocket the money. lt's you who's holding
the dog that's stolen your spotlight. As the
intended giver walks away, talking to him
or herself about what a cute dog it was,
you are left shaking your head wondering
where you went wrong.
-
Don't use animals especially cats as -
props. People are either in love with them,
in which case the animal overpowers you
and your message, or they are detested, in
which case your intended giver will be dis-
inclined to help you anyway. Most people
are, however, neutral toward animals; un-
fortunately, this is how they will react to
your message on behalf of the animal. Sure,
you'll occasionally find someone who'll
come across, but all things considered, using
35
animals as props is not a paying proposition.
Stay away from them.
Throughout this book, I have concen-
trated almost exclusively on telling the
story from a male point of view, but
women can also be successful panhandlers.
In fact, women have several natural advan-
tages over men in this regard, and they can
use these advantages to increase their in-
come from panhandling.
Here again, the woman panhandler must
be presentable, giving the image of a junior
level employee at "Something, Somewhere,
lnc.," the same as the male working person
in a temporary jam. Always wear conserva-
tive clothes in subdued colors so you can
easily blend into the crowd of moving
humanity that's sure to be all around you.
Wear no way-out hairstyles, French mani-
cures, designer shoes (mid-heel pumps or
running shoes identify urban working
women today), cucci handbags, expensive
eyewear - none of this, because you are
supposed to be in trouble even if it is only
a temporary problem. lt is important that
the female panhandler wear lipstick - most
women working in offices do - but only in-
expensive lipstick in suhdued, conservative

36 THEBEGGAR,SIIANDBOOK
colors. wearing "coco Red" chanel lipstick
will betray you, even if the lipstick is an im-
portant part of the picture you want to
convey.
omen have an advantage in choos-
ing their intended givers, too. Men
are very easy marks in this respect.
The sexual aspect is easy enough to under-
stand, but there are other considerations
to be taken into account, too. lf you are
young, you suddenly represent one of the
greatest fears of the middle aged man, that
of a daughter or niece stranded somewhere
out in the cold, cruel city without re-
sources. An intended giver who is put into
this position is easy to hit up for money. lf
you are about his own age, you represent
another, equally valid fear, that of a wife or
girlfriend in the same unfortunate predica-
ment. The results, in terms of income, are
the same.
Another weapon women have in their
emotional arsenals is tears. Men usually can-
not handle a crying woman. lf it is just a
matter of giving up a few dollars, then that
is much easier than enduring a tearful scene
in a public place. Never underestimate the
value of a few drops rolling down some-
37
one's face; if a statistical study was ever
done, tears might be found to be worth
two to three dollars each.
lTl he author knows of an Oberlin grad-
I uate in Fine Arts who worked at the
I international terminal at Kennedy
International Airport for a period of less
than four months. Despite being 22 Years
old, she looked no more than 17 or '18 and
she carried a small piece of luggage as her
only prop. She used the line that she was
stranded at the airport and she had to get
to her home in westchester. (Here, one sees
the importance of research; had she claim-
ed to live in the city, "home" would be only
a single subway token away.)
By concentrating her efforts on middle-
aged, upper-crust "businessman" types, she
attained the incredible batting average of
something over .500! That is, out of every
two people she approached, she would get
money out of at least one of them. The
average handout, ten dollars, but quite
often a lunch or dinner was thrown in for
good measure.
Of course, it was all a ruse. The reality of
this situation was that she wanted to
return to Oberlin to purchase and operate
an artists'supply shop, for which she need-
38 THE BEGGAR'; HANDBqqK
ed a $25,000 down payment. The banks
were characteristically unsympathetic, so
she did what any resourceful entrepreneur
would do; she resorted to creative financ-
ing. She put all the money she had into a
coach airplane ticket to New York City; the
remainder of her funds she kept in the form
of cash to live on until she had her method
down to perfection. She found a cheap (but
safel room in the neighborhood near Pratt
Institute in Brooklyn and, like countless
other commuters, every day she took the
subway to and from her place of work. I
might add that when she returned to Ohio,
she flew first class, made the down pay-
ment for the store in cash, and had several
thousand dollars in change left over for her
own discretionary use. Her income was at
least eight thousand dollars a month, but
she had some advantages (her age and ap-
pearancel and she worked some outstand-
ing turf.
Women also have to use their imagi-
nations in selecting a place to work, and
working that place to yield maximum
income. Women also have to experiment
with what they must say, the fine points of
how to dress, etc., etc., though the general
approach is no different in either case.
39
o, in conclusion, begging is every bit
as much a game of psychology as is
chess. Even a merely competent chess
player can beat a champion if allowed to
blow smelly cigar smoke into the cham-
pion's face. By using the techniques de-
scribed in this book, you set up the smoke
screen you need for success, but it is only hy
applying your own enthusiasm, intelligence,
and imagination that you will make this
smoke screen work for you to achieve your
desired end, the handout.
After you have mastered the techniques
described in this hook and added a few of
your own to personalize your style (after
all, what intelligent beggar wants to be like
every other panhandler on the street?), you
will find that begging is good work. When
you confront it with the right attitude, it
can even be fun while providing a pretty
good income for the amount of time and
effort invested. What more can anyone ask
from any job?