Old Age Homes: Bane or boon?

Dr P Vyasamoorthy

A decade ago there were hardly any Old Age Homes, barring a few run by
the Christian Missionaries (Orphanages) or the State government. Now
Hyderabad alone has about 140 Old age homes of all types: Those for the
poor, orphans and destitute, those based on Pay & Stay basis run by
individuals, Senior Citizens Associations, NGOs and Trusts and the
Government Social welfare Department and those for the rich on a Five Star
Hotel type. Many provide shelter and food for able bodied older persons
while a few provide assisted living care for the physically disabled or bed-
ridden. Some OAHs attached to hospitals offer full fledged geriatric care also.
As the phrase Old Age Home conveys the meaning that they are only for the
poor, terms like Elder Homes, Retirement Homes, and Senior Care Homes etc
have come up denoting Pay & Stay facilities.

Then the question arises whether such Elder Homes are a bane or a boon in
present changed circumstances. This question was posed to a group of about
450 senior citizens that are a part of a Yahoo Web group called sss-global.
About twenty responded. Here are the consolidated opinions of our elders:

BOON
Old Age Homes are a boon in the following cases:
• For senior citizens who are neglected / dumped / abused
• For parents whose children are abroad or outside their city
• For those who lack family support for any reason
• Strained relationships between Senior citizens and SIL / DIL
• For those living alone, widows and widowers
• For those without children or anyone to look after
• For those who can not carry on with Daily chores like washing cooking by
themselves
• For those who have the wherewithal to pay the charges / fees of Pay & Stay
Elder Homes
• For those who run OAH on fully commercial (read: exploitative) basis

They are a boon also because OAHs call for Adjustments & learning on the part on
inmates
When living in a OAH, (a) there is a need to adapt and discipline one self regards
meal timings, food habits, servants behavior / attitude; (b) Enjoy what ever
company the other inmates provide, without getting offended by their habits and
attitudes. In other words company cannot be freely chosen it is fostered upon you.
(c) A person, who has lived in a boarding school / hostel / mess, may find it easier to
get along; whereas one who has grown up in the mother's care will find it difficult.

BANE
• It is a bane when Senior citizens are forced live in OAH despite children
because of neglect
• When old persons are dumped in an OAH, children shirking responsibility to
care for them
• To those who have been dumped by their wards in OAH, though they wish to
stay with their kids/grand kids.
• Mushrooming of OAHs will prompt / tempt children to give up their
responsibilities and send parents to OAH
Some moot points that emerged are given below:
• It is the responsibility of parents to groom children in Indian culture to take
care of elders
• It is a shame to live in OAH when children are available
• Parents have failed to cultivate responsibility in children to take care of them

My personal views

I feel that we should not have expectations from our children about their
taking care of us right from the beginning. Senior citizens must plan to be
self sufficient in terms of finances, health & fitness, and ability to live alone.
Expecting love, affection, care, harmonial relationships with SIL / DIL, or
living together with children is becoming impractical for several reasons. If
these things are realizable, then it is fine. We should not fight shy of staying
in comfort in the company of other elders in OAH. Adjustments and
accepting things as they are is the essence of happy living. With demands
increasing and discerning seniors on the raise, services and facilities in OAH
are bound to improve. OAH is a boon, categorically, I dare say.