Professional Documents
Culture Documents
\.
\
,
THE TANTRIC
WAY 0 VING
A HOLISTIC
GUIDE TO
SENSUAL
EXPLORATION
THE NEW LIFE LIBRARY
THE TANTRIC
WAY OF LOVING
THE NEW LIFE LIBRARY
THE TANTRIC
WAY OF LOVING
A HOLISTIC GUIDE TO SENSUAL EXPLORATION
NITYA LACROIX
~SELECT
EDITIONS
Select Editions imprint specially produced for Selectabook Ltd
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Publisher: Joanna Lorenz; Editor: Debra Mayhew; Insides designed by: DW Design; Stylist: Cia ire Louise Hunt;
Hair and Make-up: Nadia V. Persaud; Models: Ralph Beck, Daz Crawford, Kay Marshall, Kerry Anne Martin
Production Controller: Yolande Denny; Editorial Reader: Kate Henderson
Main photography by: Alistair Hughes; Additional photos by: Michelle Garrett.
SAFER-SEX PRACTICES
It is wise for all sexual partners to follow the medical guidelines of safer sex practices to protect themselves from
sexually transmitted diseases, including the HIV virus which can develop into AIDS . Always avoid the exchange
of body fluids, which include vaginal secretions, semen and blood, by using latex condoms and a spermicide.
PUBLISHER'S NOTE
The reader should not regard the recommendations, ideas and techniques expressed and described in this book
as substitutes for the advice of a medical practitioner or other qualified professional. Any use to which the
recommendations, ideas and techniques are put is at the reader's sole discretion and risk.
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION 6
THE CHAKRAS 10
EQUILIBRIUM AND HARMONY 12
EMOTIONAL HONESTY 14
THE JOY OF SEXUAL SHARING 16
THE ART OF AROUSAL 18
FEMALE EROTICISM 20
MALE EROTICISM 22
RITUALS OF DEVOTION 24
PERFUMES OF LOVE 25
AROMATICS FOR INTIMACY 26
SENSUAL AROMATICS 28
THE TOUCH OF LOVE 30
TENDER STROKES 32
SENSUAL STROKES 34
MASSAGING INTIMATE AREAS 36
A LOVING FACE MASSAGE 38
A RELAXING RITUAL 40
FINDING TRANQUILLITY 42
AWAKENING ENERGY 44
MERGING SEXUAL ENERGY 46
ONENESS WITH NATURE 48
THE FIVE SENSES 50
A SANCTUARY OF LOVE 52
DIVINE LOVE-MAKING 54
THE MAN'S CONSCIOUS PASSION 56
THE SEXUAL POWER OF A WOMAN 60
ECSTATIC LOVE-MAKING 62
INTRODUCTION
6
INTRODUCTION
a re-enactment of the divine principle of union that the basic concepts of tantric loving that may help
governs the whole of Existence. Tantra teaches that to enhance the ecstasy of your love-making.
it is the perfect merging of the cosmic male principle There is a temperance in the passion of tantric
with the cosmic female principle that creates love-making which makes it qualitatively different
universal harmony and equilibrium. So tantric love- from normal sexual activity. To experience this
making is an invitation to the sacred mystery of the alternative way of making love may require you to
universe to enter into sexual intercourse. change your established patterns of sexual behaviour,
This book does not but remember that the
aim to reveal or teach teachings of Tantra do
the disciplines and not exclude or make
secrets of traditional judgement on any kind
Tantra, which began to of sexual activity as long
flourish in parts of India as it is embarked upon in
and Tibet about 5,000 the spirit of love and
years ago. True disciples mutual pleasure. Tantra
would spend years under perceives that all sexual
the guidance of a teacher rela tionships contain the
to initiate them into the essential element of
progressive series of merging and union, and
esoteric practices, known therefore have the
as "Kundalini-yoga". potential for a higher
These practices include spiritual experience.
advanced yogic postures Explore tantric love-
and breathing making at a pace that
techniques, meditation, suits you both. Do not
chanting and sexual yoga put pressure on each
for the purpose of other to achieve any
attaining a state of .. Tantra teaches that your sexual relationship should kind of pre-set goal, and
spiritual enlightenment be filled with pleasure and joy. Relax and have fun do not deny yourselves
or cosmic consciousness. and always bring laughter and playfulness into your the type of sexual
This book's purpose is to sexual interaction. activity you have always
take and adapt some of enjoyed. Ritualize your
7
INTRODUCTION
8
INTRODUCTION
9
INTRODUCTION
THE CHAKRAS
The concept of a subtle energy body is an important of cosmic bliss. Conscious sexuality, says Tantra,
principle in Tantra. For centuries, Eastern unleashes a powerful force within the body, known
philosophies, religions and healing traditions have as "Kundalini energy". The Kundalini is active
recognized that an etheric energy body exists parallel fema le creative energy manifested in all universal
to the physical body. There are seven major energy matter. Normally, the Kundalini lies dormant within
centres, known as chakras, located in specific areas us, but when it is awakened by yogic practices,
of this energy body. These chakras interact with the meditation and sexual activity, it ascends through
existential universal forces, which are governed by a the energy body on its potential journey to the crown
divine Cosmic Consciousness. The human body, then, chakra, the seat of cosmic oneness and bliss. Each
according to Tantra, is a hallowed temple that chakra is associated with one of the rainbow colours,
contains the energetic potential to merge with a state see right, and with a certain level of vibration.
10
I NTRODUCT I ON
11
EQlJILIBRIUM AND HARMONY
12
E QU I LIB R I U M AND HARMONY
person for our difficulties or neediness. It takes nurtured. We cannot afford to fix our loved one or
tolerance and generosity of imagination to understand ourselves into a comfortable rut, for each of us has our
that the other person's needs and opinions may be own personal destiny as well as the destiny we share
different from our own. It demands courage to speak with each other. Our emotional and sexual lives are
honestly and clearly about what we are feeling and undoubtedly enriched when we are able to reveal the
what we personally need from the relationship. The truth of who we are, and in doing so find a deep and
organic growth of intimacy must be constantly genuine acceptance of each other.
'f' The capacity to be vulnerab le with each other enables 'f' Let your combined masculine and feminine strengths
great tenderness to develop between you . become a complementary influence in your relationship.
13
E QU I LIB R I U M AND HARMONY
EMOTIONAL HONESTY
Resolving issues of conflict as and when they arise When you feel that the need is there, allocate
between yourself and your partner will ensure that a period of time to discuss the issues that are
your love-making stays spontaneous and unimpeded troubling you and causing conflict. Each partner
by hidden resentments and anger which might should have a precise period (between 5-10
otherwise create tensions between you. minutes at anyone time) to discuss their issues
Tantric loving is an holistic calmly and without
experience. You cannot give interruption. The other
yourself wholeheartedly to partner should listen
the sexual experience if you carefully to what is being
are holding back on an said, trying to remain
emotional level. Committing receptive to the other's
yourselves to setting aside words without becoming
quality time for discussing defensive. When it is your
underlying problems and turn, you will ha ve the
comprehending each other's opportunity to put
point of view will help all forward your own point
aspects of your relationship of view in the secure
to remain healthy. knowledge that you, too,
Communicating and will be heard calmly and
listening to each other in without interruption. Be
a positive way, in spite of conscious of your body
the difficult issues that need language, adopting a
to be discussed, is a posture that is relaxed
relationship skill. It does not and open so that your
always come easily and you stance is not intimidating,
may need to suspend rigid closed or submissive,
opinions in order to hear ~ The willingness to communicate your but instead welcomes
and respond to the feelings feelings instils vitality into your relationship. communication and an
of your partner. exchange of views.
14
E QU I LIB R I U M AND HARMONY
~ When talking,
try not to
dominate
by raising your
voice or being
condescending.
Do not be afraid
to show your
vulnerability.
Trust that
she will listen A Indicate through body language that you are supportive.
to you. Leaning towards your partner, maintaining eye contact and
taking his or her hand in your own are gestures that show
that you are interested in their point of view.
15
E QU I LIB R I U M AND HARMON Y
16
E QU I LIB R I U M AND HARMONY
Choose a time when there are no outside pressures Play-act some of your erotic fantasies together.
or interruptions, and when neither of you is tired. Be open to experimenting with something new, but
Touch and stroke each other, using different always be respectful of your own or your partner's
means of tactile contact such as your lips, tongue, boundaries. Never pressurize your lover into
fingers and body parts, so that you become familiar performing a sexual act against his or her will.
with all of your partner's body. Tell each other in Sharing these sexual intimacies, and revealing
what manner and where you especially like to be yourselves in this way, enables you both to relax
touched and kissed. Show each other how you want deeply with each other. While fantasy and excitement
to be caressed and stimulated on your most intimate is not the essence of tantric love-making, you should
areas. Guide each other on how to stroke, lick and first be able to embrace and enjoy all aspects of your
kiss the genital parts to increase arousal. Male and sexuality without guilt or judgement. Always treasure
female sexual needs and responses can vary greatly, the information that your lover imparts about his or
so learn from each other the different ways to bring her sexuality. In the same way, you should honour
sexual joy to a partner of the opposite sex. your own sexual uniqueness .
... Learn from her how and where she loves to be touched and ... Sexual tension dissolves more easily if you are able to be
caressed by you, and take pleasure in her whole body erogeny. playful with each other on a physical level.
17
THE ART OF AROUSAL
... Not every touch has to excite. Arousal levels can be ... She will love to feel your kisses covering every inch of her
allowed to rise and fall naturally. Linger enjoyably by skin. Let your lips brush and anoint the back of her body,
tenderly and teasingly stroking intimate parts of his body. and tease her intimate areas.
18
THE ART o F AROUSAL
19
THE ART OF AROUSAL
FEMALE EROTICISM
When a man makes love to a woman, he should do state of arousal, a woman's nipples may become
so in a manner of reverence and adoration, perceiving erect, her skin may flush and her vaginal juices will
her body as both a temple of delight and an altar of start to flow. Through her words, her sighs and her
devotion. Tantric texts describe a woman's sexuality body's responses, she signals to her lover that she is
as a sacred mystery and a medium through which both emotionally and physically ready to receive him.
she and her male partner can attain physical and In historic Eastern manuscripts relating to sexuality,
spiritua I ecstasy. many elaborate terms were employed to describe a
A woman's whole body is erotogenic and she is woman's most intimate sexual organs - the vagina and
especially sensitive to touch, so her lover should clitoris. Names such as Jewel or Lotus (a sacred Indian
bestow his kisses and caresses on every part of her. flower) are found in the Hindu Tantra, while the
Her sexuality is awakened by and responsive to not Chinese Taoist tradition used poetic terms such as the
only his physical embraces, but also to her sense of Jade Gate, the Valley of Joy and Pearl. These elaborate
bei~g emotionally cherished. A sensitive lover ensures names illustrate the respect accorded to a woman's
that the woman is fully sexually aroused through erotic nature and show that her sexual organs were
loving, mutual foreplay before he enters her. In a perceived as the divine gateway to joy.
20
THE ART o F AROUSAL
<OIl Her breasts are highly erogenous and as you kiss and
lick them, and suck her nipples, you will arouse her
sexually. Always touch her breasts with respect.
21
THE ART OF AROUSAL
22
THE ART o F AROUSAL
23
RITUALS OF DEVOTION
T antric loving is full of
little ritual acts of
devotion because this is
one way to keep alive the respect
and love in a partnership, and so
continue to honour each other. In
traditional Tantra, the initiates
would offer one another gifts of
flowers, food and wine before
taking part in sexual ceremonies.
They would also anoint each
other, and massage and touch
each other's bodies. These rites
were performed because, to the
tantric disciple, the lover
personified a divine presence.
The elaborate forms of ritual
helped focus the minds of the
disciples on the sacredness of
sexuality. Tantric sex is all about
conscious love-making. Sexual
partners must prepare themselves
and their environment with the
full awareness that they are to
engage in a physical act that is
essentially spiritual in content.
24
RITUALS OF DEVOTION
PERFUMES O F LOV E
Tantric lovers have always used fragrance in their Essential oils are essences distilled from a variety
ceremonial rituals. According to tantric teachings, of natural resources such as flowers, herbs, fruits,
smell is the sense that ignites sexual energy. In leaves, roots, sap and the bark of trees. The essences
traditional tantric sexual ceremonies, fragrant potions contain many of the healing properties of their source
blended from woods, plants and herbs were used to plants, and their specific aromas can transform the
anoint the bodies of lovers and to heighten both mood of lovers and create an atmosphere conducive
physical sensuality and spiritual awareness. Today to transcendental love-making. Sandalwood and
you can create your own perfumes of love from the camphor are two of the most popular ceremonial
wide selection of aromatic essential oils available in fragrances, while frankincense and cedarwood have
pharmacies and health shops. Once you understand always been associated with religious significance
their effects and properties you can use them to and worship. Jasmine and rose have long been
enhance your sexual relationship. associated with love and seduction.
A Select the aromatic oils which most appeal to you and A When you prepare to give a massage, add a few drops of
your lover's sense of smell and mood. fragranced essential oils into the basic carrier.
25
RITUALS OF DEVOTION
26
RITUALS OF DEVOTION
again. The haunting, bittersweet perfume of NEROLI Citrus-derived essences such . ... Lavender
ABSOLUTE, drawn from orange blossom, is said to as LIME, ORANGE
27
RITUALS OF DEVOTION
SENSUAL AROMATICS
Essential oils can be used in a variety of ways to
cast their gentle spell on your love life. Before
making love, bathe alone or together with your
partner in water infused with up to seven drops
of aphrodisiac and relaxing essential oils. Blend
the drops into a teaspoon of almond oil and add
the mixture to the water once the bath has filled.
Stir the water thoroughly so the essences are well
dispersed then relax into it, breathing deeply to
inhale the aromas. Select essences that are kind
to the skin and that you are sure will not cause ... Combining candles and fragrance in the bathroom
a skin allergy. intoxicates the senses .
... The perfume of essential oil and ... Aromatic soaps and lotions make bathing a sensual experience .
flowers instils romance.
28
RITUALS OF DEVOTION
29
RITUALS OF DEVOTION
... The soft glow of candles will create a soothing ... Massage is a gift to share, and can be used to soothe and relax, while
atmosphere in which to massage your beloved. enhancing your emotional and physical bond.
30
RITUALS OF DEVOTION
will provide greater support and freedom of a blanket close by to cover your partner if necessary.
movement than massaging on the bed. Cover the base Use your essential oils to create a fragrant
with freshly laundered sheets or bath towels to ambience. Add your chosen blend either to an aroma
protect it from excess oil, and keep clean towels and burner to infuse the atmosphere, or to the massage
oil. Music will enhance the mood of relaxation and
'f' Your partner will appreciate the special care that you romance, but ensure your choice of music does not
have taken in preparing a welcoming massage environment. impose on the calming effects of your strokes.
31
RITUALS OF DEVOTION
TENDER STROKES
The most important element of massage is the caring
quality of presence and feeling that you bring to your
hands as you touch your lover's body. Trust your
hands and follow your sense of intuition which will
show you how and where to apply your strokes.
You will gain confidence if you learn some of the
basic techniques from books or a massage class, but
the essence of healing comes from deep within you
when your feelings of love and tenderness flow
through your hands without any inhibition. Your
touch can be firm yet gentle, nurturing yet playful,
sensual yet comforting. Always massage your lover
with respect, honouring their body as it rests before
you. This is the way to make your massage a truly
tantric experience.
Take care of your own body while giving a
massage. Be alert to your own comfort, ensuring that
your posture remains aligned, open and relaxed, and
that your breathing is deep and easy. If you feel
peaceful and relaxed within yourself, your massage
will have a meditative quality that will benefit you
both. Apply your strokes in a rhythmic and fluid
manner, emphasizing the roundness and sensuality
of your lover's body, and moving your hands from
one area to another so that they convey a sense of
whole-body integration. Let your hands be soft and
supple, even when applying a stronger pressure, and 1 Spread the oil smoothly with flowing strokes over the
imagine that they are sculpting your lover's body area of the body you are about to massage. Use this time to
rather than imposing upon it. relax and become attuned to each other.
32
RITUALS o F DEVOTION
2 A long, sweeping stroke over the back can be performed 3 Your massage can be both therapeutic and sensual. Your
while straddling the hips of your partner. This ensures close hands should always encompass fully the contours of the
contact, but take care to support your own weight. body, such as the shoulders, hips and buttocks.
33
RITUALS OF DEVOTION
SENSUAL STROKES
Some of the most sensual massage strokes can be FAN STROKES
repeated over many different parts of the body,
adapting them to the size of the area and varying
their pace and pressure. In this way, you are able
to build up a repertoire of soothing and sensual
motions from relatively few simple strokes. The
gentle strokes shown here create a hypnotic and
relaxing effect, enabling your partner to surrender
fully to the caress of your loving hands. In addition,
they prepare, warm and enliven the body so that it
becomes more responsive to touch. Repeat each 1 To fan stroke up the back, rest both palms flat
sequence of strokes three times before gliding on each side of the spine. Steadily slide your hands
smoothly into the next movement. upwards for a distance of about 15 cm (6 in). ~
Feather touches produce a pleasurable, teasing 1 Place both hands parallel but slightly apart,
sensation on the skin. Stroke your fingertips fingers pointing away from you, on the back or
lightly downwards, one hand overlapping the belly. Slide steadily in a clockwise circular
other, to stimulate the skin's sensory nerves. motion, right hand leading. ~
34
R I TUA L S OF DEVO TI ON
2 Fan both hands softly out towards the sides 3 Flex your wrists to return your hands back to
of the body so that they mould to the rib cage the initial position of the stroke. Glide them up to
before pulling them firml y back downwards. a higher level of the back and repeat the stroke.
2 Lift your right hand to allow the left one to 3 Continue your circle strokes so that they spiral
make a continuous circular motion. Pass your over the surface of the skin in an unbroken motion.
right hand over the left wrist before dropping it Remember to keep the left hand moving on the
back down to complete a half-circle motion. body while the right one lifts and returns.
35
RITUALS OF DEVOTION
~ Soften your hands to gently cup and stroke over the fullness ~ Warm and relax her thighs with the flowing motion of your
of her breasts. strokes to ease away tension.
36
RITUALS OF DEVOTION
toes, your touch should revere both the body and the the flowing fan strokes which you apply to the whole
essential being of your lover. Your strokes should upper area of her body. In the same way, massage her
never go against your lover's wishes, nor should you legs, gliding your strokes up over her inner thighs and
try to manipulate the massage towards a sexual end sensitively around her groin. Take care not to intrude
without your partner's willing consent. In tantric abruptly on to her genital area, but sweep your hand
love-making there is no goal in mind except pleasure tenderly over her vulva and pubic mound.
and delight in the tactile experience of the moment. When the woman is massaging the man, spread
If you are the man giving the sensual massage, be the oil over his skin to warm his whole body before
gentle with your touch on your partner's breasts. paying special attention to his buttocks and thighs,
Your hands can cup her breasts and first with soft, smooth motions then with firmer
your fingers can lovingly caress pressure. While he lays on his back, relax his
over her nipples, but do not abdomen with soft circular strokes, leaning closely
linger gratuitously on into him so that your hair or breasts brush lightly
this area. Instead let against his skin. Gently massage over his genital
this erotic touch be area, caressing his penis and scrotum, but do
integrated into not over-stimulate him. Guide his
attention to other parts of his body
by stroking down on to his legs
~ Stroke sensually over or up over his chest.
his genital area, and then
sweep your hands up
on to his abdomen.
37
RITUALS o F DEVOTION
1 Apply a small quantity of oil on to 2 Glide your thumbs steadily from 3 Softly cup and relax your hands, ~
your hands. Stroke them gently, one the centre of the brow towards the circling your fingertips several times
after the other, first up over the neck, sides of the head. Repeat the stroke in soothing clockwise motions over
and then across the chin and jaw. up over the entire forehead. your lover's temples.
7 Relax your hands to sweep the palms soothingly up 8 Rotate your fingertips anti-clockwise on one place at
over the sides of the temples and scalp, then draw them a time all over the fleshy area of the cheeks and around ~
38
RITUALS o F DEVOTION
revitalizing your lover as they sweep over his or her an excellent way to start or finish a whole-body
temples, brow and jaw. A face massage will help your massage, or it can be enjoyed as a caring experience
beloved to relax into a more spontaneous mood. It is in its own right.
4 Draw your thumbs from the inner to 5 Place your thumb pads each side of 6 Continuing from the previous
the outer edges of the eyebrows, then the bridge of the nose, then glide them stroke, slide both thumb pads directly
press the pads sensitively up into and firmly down to the nostrils and out under the cheekbones, softening the
along the brow bone. towards the cheekbones. pressure at the sides of the face.
9 Supporting the back of the ears with your index fingers, 10 Complete your face massage with a peaceful hold,
make continuous tiny circular strokes over the lobes and cradling the head between your hands as your thumbs rest
rims with your thumbs. on the centre of the brow.
39
RITUALS OF DEVOTION
A RELAXING RITUAL
Bathing and massaging your lover's feet can become blend, add two drops of patchouli mixed with two
one of your special rituals, serving not only to relax drops of lavender essence. Find a comfortable position
and refresh your partner, but also as a gift of love for your partner to sit in and ask him or her to soak his
and devotion. feet for at least 10 minutes. Taking one foot at a time,
Take a bowl which is large enough to fit both feet lather it with soap, gently squeezing and pressing the
and fill it two-thirds full with warm water. For a foot all over to release any tension. Then pat each foot
luxurious touch, add up to four drops of essential oil- dry with a soft, warm towel. Now massage one foot
relaxing lavender or cooling peppermint essences are and then the other, ensuring your partner's legs are
perfect choices for a foot bath. For a more sensual comfortably supported and relaxed .
... Take it in turns to offer each other a relaxing foot massage, ensuring that both of you benefit from receiving
its stimulating and simultaneously soothing effects.
40
RITUALS o F DEVOTION
1 Cradle each foot between your hands for up to 30 2 Sweep your hands smoothly several times from the toes
seconds to create a relaxing warmth and the feeling of up to and around the ankle, gliding your fingers back down
caring tactile connection. over the foot.
3 Supporting the foot, stretch each toe by gripping it 4 Comp lete the foot massage with feather strokes, drawing
between your thumb and index finger and sliding firmly your fingertips in soft motions down over the foot and
from the base to the tip. towards the toes.
41
FINDING T RA N QV ILL I T Y
T he tranquillity
of meditation
opens the door
to tantric loving. The
and lighting candles, placing
them on an altar converted
from a low table or box. The
fragrance of certain essential
potential of meditation oils will enhance the meditative
is the attainment of inner mood - you could blend three
equilibrium, the focus of drops of cedarwood, two drops
mind and spiritual of frankincense and two drops
wholeness. These serene of rose absolute to produce a
qualities are at the very spiritually uplifting and heart-
root of tantric sexuality, opening aroma.
which emanates from Sit comfortably on
tranquillity rather than cushions, with your legs
excitement, and from crossed and your spine relaxed
harmony not passion. but erect, shoulders and chest
Set aside time to widened, and hands resting on
meditate, either alone your thighs, palms facing
or together. A meditation upwards. If you are unable to
teacher can guide you sit on the floor comfortably, sit
through special breathing on a chair and ensure your
techniques or you can just spine remains extended.
sit quietly in the peace of ... By stifling your mind and becoming one with the Attention to breath is the key
your own home. Dedicate flow of your breath, a sense of serenity and to meditation. Close your eyes
an area or, if possible, a wholeness emerges in your consciousness. and focus on your breath as it
specific room, purely for flows steadily in and out of
meditation and tantric your nostrils. After a while,
love-making. Choose a quiet time and turn off the allow your breathing to deepen, and become conscious
telephone, radio and television. Create a conducive of the rise and fall of your abdomen with each
atmosphere for your meditation by closing the curtains inhalation and exhalation. Whenever your attention
42
FIN DIN G T RAN QU I L L I T Y
wanders back to your thoughts, return to the clock can alert you to when the meditation period is
awareness of your breath. The more frequently you over. Take time to relax for some minutes before
meditate, the more you will experience precious resuming your normal activities.
moments of tranquillity and stillness inside yourself.
Initially, you may prefer to meditate for short sessions ... Sit and meditate together in a tranquil atmosphere as
of no more than 15 minutes, but later you can extend a regular practice. This ritual will create greater serenity
the sessions to 40 minutes or longer. A muffled alarm within your relationship.
43
FIN 0 I N G T RAN QU I L L I T Y
AWAKENING ENERGY
The more you meditate and the more meditative your you are more in balance within yourself and with the
love-making becomes, the greater the awakening of external environment. The healthy functioning of the
energy is within you. You may experience this chakras, or energy centres, also affects your normal
awakening as a stream of vibrations, similar to an psychological, emotional and physical health. You
electrical current pulsating within you. If the flow of are more able to fulfil your potential in matters of
energy within you is blocked, your vitality is survival, sexuality, power, love, communication,
diminished. If your energy is streaming un impeded, intellect, intuition and spirituality.
44
FIN 0 I N G T RAN QU I L L I T Y
45
FIN DIN G T RAN Q U I LIT Y
46
FINDING T RAN QU I LIT Y
~ Moments of stillness
in your love-making
create a space for intimacy
to deepen. Through your
breathing and your eye
contact, you will become
more harmonious.
47
FIN DIN G T RAN QU I L L I T Y
48
FINDING T RAN QU I L L I T Y
. ~ ', ...
"",;..... ~~ "-
ob.- ~.
49
FINDING T RAN QU I L L I T Y
.. Delight in special fragrances and explore the evocative .. Appreciate your food and drink, eating and sipping
effects on your moods from inhaling the abundant natural slowly to savour each individual flavour, so that eating and
aromas that surround you. drinking become a true celebration.
50
FINDING T RAN QU ILL I T Y
51
FIN D I N G T RAN QU I L L I T Y
A SANCTUARY OF LOVE
The environment where you choose to make love to partake in sexual rituals, believing that the
should be considered with great care so that its external environment exercised a strong influence on
ambience is both sensually and spiritually uplifting. the state of body, mind and spirit. Colour, materials,
When you go into this area with your beloved, you aromas, flowers, objects, sound and lighting were
should feel as if you are entering a sanctuary of love, believed to stimulate the senses and activate the
dedicated to the enhancement of your tantric union. chakras, so that the tantric lovers became more
Tantric disciples in ancient India took great care receptive to each other and to the divine nature of
to select or create a hallowed atmosphere in which their sexual union .
52
FIN DIN G T RAN QU I L L I T Y
53
o IVI N E LOVE-MAKING
C ommit yourselves to
your love-making,
ensuring that it is
central to your lives as a
feel fresh, purified and
sensually enlivened. Sit
within your room and
meditate together to acquire
couple. Even when you feel a sense of inner peace and
overloaded with other harmony with each other.
responsibilities, make a Enjoy a small meal of
conscious choice to nurture delicious snacks and fruits,
your sexual relationship. beautifully arranged on a
Consider it to be of primary tray, and feed each other
importance to your physical, titbits to stimulate your
emotional and spiritual taste buds. Offer each other
development together. a glass of wine or fresh fruit
Tantric love-making is an juice to sip from to celebrate
invitation for the sacred to the occasion. If you desire,
enter into your sexual union. you can massage each other,
It is a ritualized act, inspired perhaps a foot or a face
by the consciousness that you massage, or one of you can
are evoking the essential offer a whole-body massage
divinity within yourse lf and to the other.
within your lover. Lie still and entwined
Organize your times for with each other,
tantric love-making carefu ll y, harmonizing your breathing
so that yo u do not feel that and allowing your bodies to
you ha ve to rush. Prepare melt together. Kiss and
your tantric space so it is .. Take the time to acknowledge the sacred stroke each other so that
warm, perfumed, aesthetic gift of love that you will both contribute to your caresses touch over the
and welcoming. Bathe and the sexual act. whole body to gently
anoint your bodies so they awaken the sexual energy.
54
o I V I N E LOVE - MAKING
Perceive in each other the image of a god and goddess your sexual energy moving up through each chakra
so that every touch is one of reverence. Honour one with each exhalation of breath. Return to stillness
another's bodies as the gateway to the divine, whenever one of you becomes over-excited and
bestowing kisses on the most intimate areas as if in release all thoughts of a goal to this love-making
an act of worship . Relax into the warm surge of session. Orgasm mayor may not happen, but it is no
sexual arousal, breathing deeply into your pelvic area longer the purpose of your sexual encounter. Instead,
and letting the sensations course up through your you are meeting and merging in an act of deep and
entire body away from the genital areas. Visualize divine communion .
55
D I V I N E LOVE - MAKING
... When your passion overheats, stop thrusting and become still.
Lifting your head, steady your breath and focus your thoughts.
56
o I V I N E LOVE - MAKING
57
o I V I N E LOVE - M A K I N G
58
D I V I N E LOVE - MAKING
with your maleness. Learn to surrender yourself as the man, to stay in greater control of your orgasm.
to your lover's orgasmic nature, allowing her the Do not over-emphasize these techniques, otherwise
freedom to express herself, and dedicate yourself your love-making will become wooden and
to her happiness. unspontaneous. The ability to stay naturally in the
Experiment with different love-making positions "plateau" phase of love-making becomes easier the
that bring pleasure to you both but that enable you, more it is practised. Your body and mind will adapt
to a whole new way of sexual response so that love-
T The "spoons " position of love-making is perfect for times making increasingly functions from a meditative and
of stillness and merging during sexual union. Gentle relaxed state of being rather than from titillation,
movements of the pelvis will ensure the man remains erect. excitement and tension.
59
D I V I N E LOVE - MAKING
60
o I V I N E LOVE - MAK I NG
61
DIVINE LOVE - MAKING
ECSTATIC LOVE-MAKING
The key to ecsta tic love-making is in the sense of Consequently, your own bi-polar energies are unified.
merging, whereby you feel as if the two of you are In tantric love-making, your aim is to absorb your
one body, one soul and one flowing stream of energy. orgasmic energy into yourself so that it ascends towards
You are in such a deep the crown chakra, which
state of union that is traditionally the seat of
there appears to be tantric bliss. Even if the
no distinction between concept of energy,
your male and female chakras and altered
entities. It is as if your consciousness is not
female lover has meaningful to you, the
integrated into you, stillness and meditation
the man, and your male that you have introduced
lover has dissolved into into your love-making
you, the woman. By will itself create a sense
becoming so attuned of harmony and joy that
to one another, you both of you will be able
will begin to experience to experience.
within your own body Certain sexual
the sensations that your positions are favoured
partner is feeling. This by Tantra to create
means that not only ecstatic and meditative
are you making love love-making. When you
to your external lover, both assume a sitting
but in doing so you position and your spines
are able to connect to ... Make love in the classic tantric position of "Yab- are erect, the pose helps
your own inner male or Yum", where the woman sits on her partner's lap, and the man to moderate his
female aspect, so that gently moves her pelvis as she enters into the state of passion. Your postures
you can become whole sexual ecstasy. are equally balanced
within yourself. and neither of you is
62
D I V I N E LOVE - MAKING
taking the dominant or submissive role. Energy can making except to touch the sacred in one another.
flow easily upwards through the spine and yo u are Orgasm mayor may not happen, but if you have
attuned to each other chakra by chakra. Breathing allowed its vibrant energy to transport yo u to
together, swaying gently and melting body to body, another realm of sexual consciousness and now wish
allow a feeling of benediction to descend on you. to surrender to its powerful pulsations, let go
Remember, there is no goal to achieve in your love- together into its blissful release .
... Surrender yourself entirely to one another in your ... After love-ma king, rest peacefully together so that you
love-making so that you become one body, one soul and remain intimately connected wh ile you return slowly to
one flowing movement of joyous energy. your own sense of self.
63
INDEX
aromatics, 25-9 14-15 meditation, 42-5 Picture Credits
arousal, 18-23,56-9 energy, 44-7,60,62,63 merging sexual energy, The publishers would
environment, 52-3 46-7 like to thank the
bathing, 28 equilibrium, 12-13 meridians, 58 following for supplying
body language, 14, 15 eroticism, 20-3 music, 51, 53 photographs:
essential oils, 25-9, 42
etheric body, 10 Nature, 48-9
Existence, 48-9, 50
orgasm, 8,46,55,56,
face massage, 38-9 58,60,63
fan strokes, massage,
34-5 penis, 22
fantasies, 17, 46 perfumes, 25-9
feathering, massage, 34
female eroticism, 20-1 rituals of devotion, 24-41
breasts, 36, 37 foot massage, 40-1 Dinodia Picture Agency,
breathing, 42-3, 46 foreplay, 19-23 semen, retention of, Bombay p.6 (m), p.l0
8,56,58 (br), p.46;
candles, 29, 30, 42, harmony, 12-13 senses, 50-1 Tony Stone Images
51,53 hearing, sense of, 50 sight, 50 p.48, p.49 (tr) and (b);
chakras,10-11,45,48, honesty, emotional, smell, sense of, 50 e.t. archive p. 24, p. 53;
50,52,55,60,62,63 14-15 stillness, 46 Mary Evans Picture
circle strokes, massage, Library p.8 (I);
34-5 Kundalini, 7, 10,46 Tantra, 6, 7 Ancient Art and
clitoris, 20 taste, sense of, 50 Architecture Collection
love-making, 54-63 touch, 30-1, 50 p.9 (t).
ejaculation, retention of,
8,56,58 male eroticism, 22-3 vagina, 20, 60
emotional honesty, massage, 29, 30-41, 54
64
THE NEW LIF E LIBRARY
THE TANTRIC
WAY OF LOVING
• How to adapt the ancient teachings of
Tantra to reach greater levels of emotional
intimacy and sexual ecstasy
9 781840 389722
Cover printed in Singapore