A Communication from Operation:Countertroll to Ann Althouse and “Meade”

Because of their extensive, lifelong, union freeloading (Althouse, the breadwinner of

their pathetic, sexual-frustration driven “family” is an AAUP freeloader, a public sector
secondary education freeloader, a University of Michigan freeloader, a University of
Colorado freeloader and, most disgustingly to us, a University of Wisconsin Freeloader),
their movement freeloading (they have greatly enhanced their reputation and social
currency both within her nauseating Tory brotherhood they represent and across the
internet by wandering around Madison lying about all they see) their repeated lies and
general commitment to irresponsible citizen-journalism (how dare they sneak around an
ongoing citizen protest movement taking pictures of trash minutes before our
volunteers clean it), their false claims to have infiltrated the movement despite the fact
that as a decentralized, participatory and democratic movement #wiunion cannot be
“infiltrated” and indeed welcomes the attention of hostile outside observers, their
attempts to incite Tea Party Falangists to act on their sadistic and violent impulses
against fourth grade teachers and their students, and their desecration of the statue of
Hans Christian Heg Ann Althouse and Meade are hereby put on notice.
NOTICE – YOUR CITY OF MADISON PRIVILEGES HAVE BEEN REVOKED.
MADISON IS A #WIUNION CITY AND WE ARE MADISON.
Did you really think this could go on forever? That you could sit on the steps of our
house, walk the streets of our city, lie about us to strangers, tell gun-toting rednecks
from out of state and the Northwoods how depraved and deserving of punishment we
are all while maintaining plausible deniability for any of the consequences that your
actions might cause? Did you think you could fuck with HANS and get away with it?
This isn't a one way fight any more. We will take it from the internet right to 2114
Chamberlain Avenue. Do you have any idea where you live? Let us spell it out for you.
We understand that you like to eat on the square. You like the Baked Potato at the Old
Fashioned, do you? There were five of us in there last Tuesday. You like to eat at
Fresco? We're in the Overture eating, serving, cooking, playing, and performing. At
least twenty of us have worked for Food Fight. You like to fucking drink at FAIR TRADE
do you? At FAIR TRADE? You are citizen-BANNED from Fair Trade. We will Walker you
straight out of the place whenever you show up. We are at every coffee shop on State,
open to close, all the time. We will hang up wanted posters of you everywhere you like
to go. We will picket on public property as close to your house as we can every day.
We will harrass the ever loving shit out of you all the time. Campus is OCCUPIED. State
street is OCCUPIED. The Square is OCCUPIED. Vilas, Schenk's Corners, Atwood, Willy
Street – Occupied, Occupied, Occupied, Occupied. Did you really think it was all about
the Capitol? Fuck the Capitol, we are the CITY.
We are hard-drinking, weed-smoking, rude, obnoxious, auto-didactic, uppity fucking
TOWNIES. We know you hate us. We know you hate us because we ruin your
imaginary, Men's Magazine, UW Admission's Pamphlet, Madison Magazine, Isthmus Arts
vision of our City. You think that our town should be on perpetual vigil just in case you
need a little peace and quiet. You think we should go down quiet while Walker
economically rapes us because you want to lead a fucking tour group? Sorry babe, not
gonna happen. And because you couldn't even show a modicum of fairness, integrity,
or neutrality and because you had the iron fucking stones to try to pull this here, on
OUR campus, in OUR city, in OUR state in OUR country (and that is about the only
reason we have any grudging respect for you), now YOU are a target.
And guess what – we aren't SDS. We aren't fucking TAA. We aren't Timmy “olive
branch” Cullen, we aren't yogi, granola-eating types you see at Willy Street or
whatever. We are NOT radically nonviolent. We comply with the laws of the City
because it is our City and we love it, but OH MY GOD do we hope Meade tries to get all
tough with us. WE LOVE IT. LOVE IT. Just last night we saw a Jimmy John's worker who
we know beat the ever loving shit out of some idiot drunk asshole who wouldn't be civil
and polite in his workplace. We have the numbers and we don't back down from
anyone. We all know each other. We know each other from Service Industry Night at
the Orpheum, because we're regulars at the same coffee shops, restaurants and bars,
we know each other from the co-ops, we know each other because we've had a million
jobs each (and we all worked at CapTel at least once), because we live in every shitty
townie house in ever-changing groups of 2 – 7 people, because we are young and horny
and screw each other incessantly, because we're all on facebook, and because we
aren't anti-social, life-denying, world-sterilizing pieces of human garbage like the two of
you. WE WILL FUCK YOU UP. We will throw our baseballs in your lawn, you cranky old
pieces of shit, and then we will come get them back. What are you gonna do? Shoot
us? Get Wausau Tea Patriots to form an ad hoc militia on your front lawn? That would
be fucking HILAROUS to us. You could get to know the assholes on your side in real
fucking life instead of sponging off the civil society we provide for you every single day
you draw breath.
Pay your dues or action will be taken. The action will be legal, peaceful, and nonviolent
(on our end anyway – if you want to do it the other way fine with us. Meade is a tough
guy on LGM or whatever but he's a chickenshit IRL. We dare you buddy. Double dog
dare you.) but it will also be swift, decisive, direct, personal and effective.

Our demands are as follows. Choose a package.

Package 1: Pay your damn dues, you Union Freeloading pieces of shit

You are getting fat on union money. You are getting fat on our tax money. You are
getting fat on an undeserved bully pulpit that you got from credibility won from the
hard struggles of public sector workers, university professors and unions throughout
history, and that increased dramatically in scope due to OUR MOVEMENT. So PAY YOUR
DUES. We demand:

1) Because you have taken the words from our mouth - A complete recantation of
all lies about #wiunion (not lies in leagalese – lies in the commonsense moral
definition of the word. Choose an ethical system that you believe is fair, run it by
us, and we will let you know which posts violate it) posted on your personal blog,
in all comments sections of all other blogs, on your flickr account and your
youtube account, spoken in podcasts or on bloggingheads, or said out loud
anywhere in Madison. Take it all back. We don't trust you, so we will draft a
statement for you.

2) Because you have taken the bread from our table – a 5,000 dollar donation
(each) in your own names and made public to the Industrial Workers of the World
general fund, the Bradley Manning Defense Fund, the Recall Alberta Darling
effort, a group of our choosing that advocates for the pro-democracy movements
in #libya, #algeria, #iran or in Pizza for the Protesters (we prefer Ian's, the Nickel
or Roman Candle, but any friendly place will do – if you attempt to order us shitty
 pizza or pizza from an unfriendly restaurant we will eat it and consider are
demands still unmet).

3) Because you have attempted to take our very safety and indeed our lives,
because you have incited violence against us and above all because you have
proven yourselves inadequate to the grave and solemn responsibilites of Citizen-
Journalism – Your silence. You want to make everyone shut the fuck up? Be the
change you seek. We demand ZERO more posts about us, ever. We demand the
admin pw for all of your shit to be publicly posted on a movement friendly
facebook group or 4chan. We demand to be allowed to vet everything you post
before you post it and edit it for any and all lies related to #wiunion, #wewarewi,
#union, #usuncut #opesr #wikileaks #solidarity and
#allthatisgoodandholyonthisearth. We demand that you Delete Fucking
Everything.

4) You will never, ever, ever, ever in your motherfucking life come within 20 feet of
the statue of Hans Christian Heg. Althouse, you are a job-hopping carpetbagger
from New England. Meade, you are an obnoxious right-to-work Zombie from
southern Ohio who only lives here because its apparently the only place in the
world you can get laid. Heg is OURS. We are WISCONSIN. You don't fucking
touch Hans Christian. Ever. And that goes double for the Lady on the other side.

Package 2: Move the Fuck out of Our City

Get out, and stay out. Far out. Meade - You ain't no man for this city. We're out on the
streets every day, all day. The 77 square is not for y'all. You say we're from out of
state? Bullshit. You're from fucking out of state. We'll show you just how fucking
Madison we are. Althouse, we will ruin your goddamn career, your comfort, your
pocketbook, your sense of safety and wellbeing, and your life.

And don't try to pull up at another one of our cities either. Don't like your AAUP card?
Turn it in. If you want to carry water for Koch and the Chamber, they can foot the
fucking bill for it. Get a job on the Tea speaking circuit or with AEI or some other
garbage think-tank in DC or Claremont or whatevs. We have friends everywhere. All
land-grant University towns are occupied. All major cities are occupied. Everywhere
with a critical mass of smart, uppity people is Occupied. If you want to advocate for
national internetless, right-to-work rural fortress state hell with no transit in or out, you
can live in it. If you want to defend Falangist Michigan, move to Pontiac. If you want to
make us all work for Olive Garden you can fucking eat there. Why don't YOU go shop at
Wal-Mart. Because the shit you wear looks like it comes from places like Jazzman and
Bop and we work there too and we aren't having it any more. No more free rides, baby.

If you have not acceded to our demands within a week, it is ON LIKE DONKEY
KONG. WE AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE. EVER. WE LIVE HERE 100% OF THE
FUCKING TIME. YOU CAN'T BAN MADISON FROM LIVING IN MADISON, BUT WE
CAN SURE AS SHIT BAN YOU. WHO ARE YOU GONNA CALL? COPS FOR
LABOR? THE CHICKENSHIT TEA ASSWIPES WHO ARE SCARED SHITLESS OF THE
TEAMSTERS TRUCKS? THE NATIONAL GUARD? SCOTT WALKER? NO ONE IS
GOING TO COME AND CRACK DOWN ON US FOR YOU. THERE IS NO CAVALRY.
ITS US VS YOU ON THE STREETS OF THE CITY GOING AS FAR AS IT HAS TO GO
UNTIL A) WE WIN OR B) DOOMSDAY.
------------------------------------------Operation:Countertroll