PARENTING

Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical,

psychological emotional, social, and intellectual development process of a child from

infancy period to adulthood. It is refers to the activity of raising a child rather than the

biological relationship.

Developmental psychologists have been interested in how parents influence

the development of children’s social and instrumental competence since at least the

1920s. One of the most robust approaches to this area is the study of what has been

called "parenting style." Parenting is a complex activity that includes many

specific behaviors that work individually and together to influence child outcomes. If

parents have a good parenting style then its child fortune, although specific parenting

behaviors, such as spanking, punishment, terrifying or reading aloud, may influence

child development, looking at any specific behavior in isolation may be misleading.

Many writers have noted that specific parenting practices are less important in

predicting child well-being than is the broad pattern of parenting. Most researchers

who attempt to describe this broad parental-milieu rely on Diana Baumrind’s concept

of parenting style.

PARENTING STYLE

The construct of parenting style is used to capture normal variations in

parents’ attempts to control and socialize their children (Baumrind, 1991). Two points

are majorly criticize in understanding this definition.

 One , parenting style is meant to describe normal variations in parenting. In

other words, the parenting style typology Baumrind developed should not be

understood to include deviant parenting, such as might be observed in abusive,

irresponsible, illiterate or neglectful homes.

Second, Baumrind assumes that normal parenting revolves around issues of

control. Although parents may differ in how they try to control or socialize their

children and the extent to which they do so, it is assumed that the primary role of all

parents is to influence, teach, and control their children in all respect because the first

inspiration or teacher of a child are parents.

PARENTING STYLE TWO IMPORTANT

ELEMENTS

Parenting style based on two important elements of parenting: parental

responsiveness and parental demanding-ness (Maccoby & Martin, 1983).

• Parental responsiveness (also referred to as parental warmth or

supportiveness) refers to "the extent to which parents intentionally

foster individuality, self-regulation, and self-assertion by being

attuned, supportive, and acquiescent to children’s special needs and

demands" (Baumrind, 1991).

• Parental demandingness (also referred to as behavioral control)

refers to "the claims parents make on children to become integrated

into the family whole, by their maturity demands, supervision,

disciplinary efforts and willingness to confront the child who disobeys"

Four Parenting Styles

For parenting style we can categorize parents according to whether they are

high or low on parental demanding-ness and responsiveness creates a typology of four

parenting styles.

• Indulgent

• Authoritarian

• Authoritative

• Uninvolved

(Maccoby & Martin, 1983). Each of these parenting styles reflects different

naturally occurring patterns of parental values, practices, and behaviors (Baumrind,

1991) and a distinct balance of responsiveness and demandingness.

• Indulgent parents

(also referred to as "permissive" )are more responsive than they are

demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior,

allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation always be relax with

their children’s and give them space". Indulgent parents may be further divided

into two types: democratic parents, who, though lenient, are more conscientious,

engaged, and committed to the child, and nondirective parents.

• Authoritarian parents

Are highly demanding and directive, but not responsive. "They are obedience-

and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation".

These parents provide well-ordered and structured environments with clearly

 stated rules. Authoritarian parents can be divided into two types: non

authoritarian-directive, who are directive, but not intrusive or autocratic in their

use of power, that type of parents are usually good parents and authoritarian-

directive, who are highly intrusive, that type of parents didn’t allow their

children’s to do something that they don’t want.

• Authoritative parents

Are both demanding and responsive. "They monitor and impart clear standards for

their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their

disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. They want their children to

be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative".

This type of parents allow their children to do any thing but not allow such thing

which harm them.

• Uninvolved parents

Are low in both responsiveness and demandingness. In extreme cases, this

parenting style might encompass both rejecting–neglecting and neglectful parents,

although most parents of this type fall within the normal range. This type of parents

are usually not interested in any activity of their children what ever they are doing

they having no interest in it.

Parenting style is a typology, rather than a linear combination of responsiveness

and demandingness, each parenting style is more than and different from the sum of

its parts, (Baumrind, 1991). In addition to differing on responsiveness and

demandingness, the parenting styles also differ in the extent to which they are

characterized by a third dimension: psychological control.

Psychological control

Psychological control "refers to control attempts that intrude into the

psychological and emotional development of the child" (Barber, 1996) through use of

parenting practices such as guilt induction, withdrawal of love, or shaming on any

incident. There is one key difference between authoritarian and authoritative

parenting is in the dimension of psychological control. Both authoritarian and

authoritative parents placing high demands on their children and expect their children

to behave the same and obey parental rules. Authoritarian parents, however, also

expect their children to accept their judgments, predictions, decisions, and goal

without questioning or hesitation. In contrast, authoritative parents are more open to

give and take with their children and make greater use of explanations excuses. Thus,

although authoritative and authoritarian parents are equally high in behavioral control,

authoritative parents tend to be low in psychological control, while authoritarian

parents tend to be high.

Parenting style has been found to predict child well-being in the domains of social

competence, studies performance, physical activities, psychosocial development, and

problem behavior. Research based on parent interviews, child reports, and parent

observations consistently finds:

• Children and adolescents whose parents are authoritative rate themselves and

are rated by objective measures as more socially and instrumentally result

oriented and competent than those whose parents are non authoritative and

Children and adolescents whose parents are uninvolved perform most poorly

in all domains due to the lack of interest of their parents (Baumrind, 1991;

Weiss & Schwarz, 1996; Miller et al., 1993)

In general, parental responsiveness predicts social competence and psychosocial

functioning, while parental demandingness is associated with instrumental

competence and behavioral control (i.e., academic performance and deviance

behaviors). These findings indicate:

• Children and adolescents from authoritarian families (high in

demandingness, but low in responsiveness) tend to perform moderately well in

school and be uninvolved in problem behavior, but they have poorer social

skills, lower self-esteem, no confidence , no boldness and higher levels of

depression.

Children and adolescents belongs to indulgent homes (high in responsiveness,

low in demandingness) are more likely to be involved in problem behavior and

perform not so good in school, but they have higher self-esteem, bold, confident

having better social skills, and lower levels of depression. (Baumrind, 1991;

Weiss & Schwarz, 1996; Miller et al., 1993)

It is hard to make a single or definite parenting style for every child and parent

because every family and child is different from one another and having different

mental level. What may be right for one family or one child may not be suitable

for another. Authoritative and permissive (indulgent) parenting styles are the

opposite sides of the spectrum, most conventional and modern models of

parenting fall somewhere in between the combination of the following models.

• Attachment parenting

talks about to create strong emotional attachment, avoiding physical

punishment or mental and accomplishing discipline through interactions

recognizing a child's emotional needs all while focusing on holistic understanding

of the child.

• Historic Developmental

(Child as Apprentice) Model – As a child's independent capacities emerge,

ever more complex opportunities for parental teaching and child mastery of the

widest possible number of essential skills and knowledge is presented. The child

gains self-worth simultaneous to the emergence of various competencies in an

ever-growing number of essential venues and events, as adulthood is approached.

From the initial highly dependent relationship with parents and direct community

support, high levels of independence are attained seamlessly while special skills

and abilities of the child have emerged in a manner relevant to successful adult

vocational choices and expanded life interests.

• Nurturant parent model

A family model where children are expected to explore their surroundings

with protection from their parents, in that type of enjoinment children learn more

without any fear to do anything.

• Single Parent Model

The percentage of children being raised by single parents has been remain

same since the last 20 years but it remains nearly double the rate of 1970.

Obstacles which create difficulty for single parents relate primarily to a halving of

the numerous resources fundamental to parenting income is often reduced and

become less through out dramatically opportunities to present and process adult

male and female roles, responsibilities, and skills to children is reduced; sharing of
 house works like dusting cleaning and maintenance ,with another adult is

reduced; opportunities to see parents display affection, love and cooperation

despite differences is reduced; both boys and girls will lack the cooperative

presentation of adult male and adult female points of view regarding socialization

fundamentals.

• Slow parenting

It Encourages parents to plan and organize not more for their children, instead

allowing them to enjoy their childhood and doing thing at their own way and

explore the world like they want to explore.

• Strict father model

An authoritarian approach, places a strong value on discipline as a means to

survive and thrive in a harsh world and this personality always says everything

will be done my way.

Parenting across the child's lifespan

During the time of pregnancy the unborn child is affected by many decisions

his or her parents make, particularly choices linked to their lifestyle. The health

and diet decisions of the mother can have either a positive or negative impact on

the child during prenatal parenting. Many people believe that parenting begins

with birth, but the mother begins raising and nurturing a child well before birth.

Scientific evidence indicates that from the fifth month on, the unborn baby is able

to hear sound, be aware of motion, and possibly exhibit short-term memory.

Several studies show evidence that the unborn baby can become familiar with his

or her parents' voices. Other research indicates that by the seventh month, external
schedule cues influence the unborn baby's sleep habits. Based on this evidence,

parenting actually begins well before birth. Depending on how many children the

mother carries also determines the amount of care needed during prenatal and

post-natal periods.

Newborn parenting, up to one month of age, is where the responsibilities of

parenthood begin. A newborn's basic needs are food, sleep, comfort and cleaning

which the parent provides. An infant's only form of communication is crying, and

attentive parents will begin to recognize different types of crying which represent

different needs such as hunger, discomfort, boredom, or loneliness. Newborns and

young infants require feedings every few hours which is disruptive to adult sleep

cycles. They respond enthusiastically to soft stroking, cuddling and caressing.

Gentle rocking back and forth often calms a crying infant, as do massages and

warm baths. Newborns may comfort themselves by sucking their thumb or a

pacifier. The need to suckle is instinctive and allows newborns to feed.

Breastfeeding is the recommended method of feeding by all major infant health

organizations. If breastfeeding is not possible or desired; bottle feeding is a

common alternative. Other alternatives include feeding breast milk or formula

with a cup, spoon, feeding syringe, or nursing supplements. The forming of

attachments is considered to be the foundation of the infant/child's capacity to

form and conduct relationships throughout life. Attachment is not the same as love

and/or affection although they often go together. Attachment and attachment

behaviors tend to develop between the age of 6 months and 3 years. A lack of

attachment or a seriously disrupted capacity for attachment could potentially

amount to serious disorders.

Toddlers are much more active than infants and are challenged with learning how

to do simple tasks by themselves. At this stage, parents are heavily involved in

showing the child how to do things rather than just doing things for them, and the

child will often mimic the parents. Toddlers need help to build their vocabulary,

increase their communications skills, and manage their emotions. Toddlers will

also begin to understand social etiquette such as being polite and taking turns.

Toddlers are very curious about the world around them and eager to explore it.

They seek greater independence and responsibility and may become frustrated

when things do not go they way they want or expect. Tantrums begin at this stage,

which is sometimes referred to as the 'Terrible Twos’. Tantrums are often caused

by the child's frustration over the particular situation, sometimes simply not being

able to communicate properly. Parents of toddlers are expected to help guide and

teach the child, establish basic routines (such as washing hands before meals,

brushing teeth before bed), and increase the child's responsibilities. Until infants

learn to walk, between 10 and 14 months, they are carried in the arms, held in

slings or baby carriers, or transported in baby carriages or strollers. Upon learning

to walk the child is then known as a toddler.

Younger children are becoming more independent and are beginning to build

friendships. They are able to reason and can make their own decisions given

hypothetical situations. Young children demand constant attention, but will learn

how to deal with boredom and be able to play independently. They also enjoy

helping and feeling useful and able. Parents may assist their child by encouraging

social interactions and modeling proper social behaviors. A large part of learning

in the early years comes from being involved in activities and household duties.

Parents who observe their children in play or join with them in child-driven play
have the opportunity to glimpse into their children’s world, learn to communicate

more effectively with their children and are given another setting to offer gentle,

nurturing guidance. Parents are also teaching their children health, hygiene, and

eating habits through instruction and by example. Parents are expected to make

decisions about their child's education. Parenting styles in this area diverge greatly

at this stage with some parents becoming heavily involved in arranging organized

activities and early learning programs. Other parents choose to let the child

develop with few organized activities. Children begin to learn responsibility, and

consequences of their actions, with parental assistance. Some parents provide a

small allowance that increases with age to help teach children the value of money

and how to be responsible with it. Parents who are consistent and fair with their

discipline, who openly communicate and offer explanations to their children, and

who do not neglect the needs of their children in some way often find they have

fewer problems with their children as they mature.

During adolescence children are beginning to form their identity and are testing

and developing the interpersonal and occupational roles that they will assume as

adults. Although adolescents look to peers and adults outside of the family for

guidance and models for how to behave, parents remain influential in their

development. Parents often feel isolated and alone in parenting adolescents, but

they should still make efforts to be aware of their adolescent’s activities, provide

guidance, direction, and consultation. Adolescence can be a time of high risk for

children, where newfound freedoms can result in decisions that drastically open

up or close off life opportunities. Parental issues at this stage of parenting include

dealing with "rebellious" teenagers, who didn't know freedom while they were

smaller.
Young adults – as children become young adults their personalities show the result

of successful or unsuccessful parenting. Especially it is noticeable when young

adults make their independent life decisions about their education, work and

choosing mates for friendship or marriage.

Middle age and old age – Parenting doesn't stop when children grow up and age.

Parents always remain to be parents for old children. Their relationship continues

developing if both parties want to keep it or improve. The parenting issues may

include the relationship with grandchildren and stepchildren.

 REFERENCES

• Barber, B. K. (1996). Parental psychological control: Revisiting a

neglected construct. Child Development, 67(6), 3296-3319.

• Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent

competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1),

56-95.

• Darling.N, PhD, MS (March 1999) Clearinghouse on Elementary and

Early Childhood Education, Parenting Style and Its Correlates,

retrieved on 5th June 2010 from

http://www.athealth.com/Practitioner/ceduc/parentingstyles.html

• Maccoby, E. E., & Martin, J. A. (1983). Socialization in the context of

the family: Parent–child interaction. In P. H. Mussen (Ed.) & E. M.

Hetherington (Vol. Ed.), Handbook of child psychology: Vol. 4.

Socialization, personality, and social development (4th ed., pp. 1-101).

New York: Wiley.

• Miller, N. B., Cowan, P. A., Cowan, C. P., & Hetherington, E. M.

(1993). Externalizing in preschoolers and early adolescents: A cross-

study replication of a family model. Developmental Psychology, 29(1),

3-18.
• Santrock, J.W. (2007). A topical approach to life-span development,

third Ed. New York: McGraw-Hill.

• Weiss, L. H., & Schwarz, J. C. (1996). The relationship between

parenting types and older adolescents’ personality, academic

achievement, adjustment, and substance use. Child Development,

67(5), 2101-2114.