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Yet another state is the one in which the soul or self is aware of God
(consciousness) alone and nothing else. But the soul or self is aware
of the fact that it is conscious of God consciousness. It may be
referred to as parajnānam leading to para mukti or sahala avastha.
This again is a state of dualism since the soul is aware of itself and
also aware of its being aware of God.
But in still deeper meditation the soul is not conscious of even itself.
The soul raises itself to the level of and transforms itself into the
Supreme Consciousness Itself and abides in it. This may be referred
to as the ‘Brahmajnānani’ or ‘Sivajnānam’. This is the Sahaja or
Suddha avastha. These refer to the ‘Aham Brahmāsmi’ or simply
‘Brahmāsmi’ content of the relevant mahavakyas.
But another more mystical experience is just ‘to be’ - that is simply is
‘be’ without reference (at such experiential level) either to oneself or
even God. Subjectively it would amount to just ‘am’ - not ‘I am’ or
‘God am’ but simply ‘am’.
This state of just ‘am’ becomes at once intriguing when one tries or
attempts volitionally to bring about, or precipitate or reach that
state. On the other hand if the mind (and its other faculties, viz.
buddhi and citta) are stilled, the state of just ‘am’ or ‘be’ occurs. The
truth of this is put succinctly in the aphorism citta vriddhi nirodhaha.
From the point of view of God, Being is itself His Supreme Love
which, however, is neither realized nor reciprocated by most of the
beings. Love of being is directed to other beings and materialistic
objects to a large extent and towards God only to a small extent until
they discover their plight through His Grace. From the point of view
of the aspiring ascetic the path to kevala avastha is a state of
‘becoming’ (ninrapadi) and the avastha itself ‘become’ (nitral). The
path to sahalavastha is the state of ‘being’ (irundapadi) and the
avastha itself ‘be’ (iruttal): Saint Arunagirinathar’s upadesa
‘irundhapadi irunkol’ is of significance. Tirumoolar devotes nineteen
verses for expounding the tat tvam asi mahavakyam. There are
prevarications in the interpretation and understanding of these
ontological phraseologies. But the truth is one, which has to be
mastered only through sustained exercise and experience under the
guidance of a Guru.
It will be apparent that the two essential prerequisites for the state of
‘am’ are (i) full awareness and (ii) absolute stillness of mind and its
ancillaries (i.e. absolute thoughtlessness). The difficulty arises
because full awareness and absolute stillness of mind are very
elusive. So it is that the state of ‘be’ or ‘am’ into which we very often
pass is not deep; nor does it last long enough to be of any
consequence.
Thus far we had discussed about the ontology of ‘asi’ ‘asmi’, etc.
from the point of existential state of being. As ‘being’ is equated with
the ontological state, it negates non-being and there is no question of
an eschatological ‘asi’ or ‘being’. In this context it is difficult to
explain the death of Christ and His resurrection as existential
phenomena unless we concede that ontological approaches could
cover both existential and eschatological phenomena. This is a
matter for further research. On the contrary, most of the Hindu saints
from Tirugnana Sambandhar down to Ramalinga Swamigal have
attained suddha avastha and Siva mukti as the prasāda of their ‘here
and now’ state of ‘Summa Iru’.