Professional Documents
Culture Documents
to
the Signs of
a Bad Dating
Choice
From the author of…
• Emotional
• Physical
• Sexual
• Financial or
• Spiritual self
Boundaries
4
But this message to Damaged Women is that silence means
you consent with their inappropriate behavior. Equally,
Damaged Women read continuation of the relationship or
their ability to continue the inappropriate behavior means
you are complying with their design of the unhealthy
relationship.
5
which we open and invite others into these areas of our
lives. If they crash the gates without invitation, you can be
sure they will try to live inside your gates and in your
personal business without invitation because women who
are boundary violators feel entitled to run your life by their
definitions.
6
Boundary violations committed by those who are the
chronically pathological can be exceptionally dramatic and
dangerous and point to a severe level of damaged-ness.
The higher the boundary violation, the more it points to
chronic and unrelenting pathology.
7
What is Healthy?
• Open and honest communication
• Friendships outside of the relationship
• Taking responsibility for the outcome
• Having your own identity
• Time together and apart are balanced
• Emotional intimacy is built without the use of drugs
or alcohol
• Appropriate level of commitment in the relationship
based on the amount of time together
• Flexibility in relationship
• Knowing what you need
• Asking for what you need
What is Unhealthy?
• Gamey and manipulative Communication
• Few friendships other than you
• Relying on others for of your life and happiness your
happiness
• Feeling complete ONLY when with someone else
Too much togetherness Or too much aloneness.
• Uses alcohol/drugs to chemicals achieve false
intimacy
8
• Over or under commitment for the amount of time
together
• Rigidity in relationship
• Clueless to what you need
• Afraid to express what you need
9
Doesn’t respect your need
for alone time.
Dangerous, damaged and pathological women often have
their own issues regarding abandonment and being left
alone. A red flag is when someone doesn’t allow you to
have private time, singular activities, or your own thoughts.
11
Uses alcohol too frequently
and abundantly.
Frequent un-employment
(except while in school).
Many men don’t know that frequent unemployment and
frequent job changing is often related to various mental
illnesses, including psychopathy. At the very least, these
deadbeats always manage to ‘lose their jobs’ as soon as
they move in with you and for some reason can never find
another one.
12
As mentioned above, psychopathy (permanent disorders) is
often related to the ‘drifter’ lifestyle of the unemployed and
frequently jobless. Those with anger problems, addictions,
and inconsistency are often fired or dismissed from their
jobs. The only clue to you is the list of ‘reasons why’ she
can’t hold a job.
13
Multiple unsuccessful
relationships.
It’s amazing that men don’t think that all the unsuccessful
relationships she has implicates her as a ‘bad dating
choice.’ Her relationship history is hers alone and points to
how she does not handle the challenges and hurdles of
relationship demands. Contrary to what she claims, all the
other were not ‘abusive, psychos, or cheaters.’ Damaged
and pathological women never take responsibility for the
failure of their relationships.
14
include other men, children, criminality, and diseases—all
that can impact you.
Physically, emotionally,
verbally, sexually “unstable” or
“weird.”
15
Too charming--has all the
right lines, appears excessively
smooth.
Certain types of damaged and dangerous women
(especially true predators) are professional daters. They
don’t blunder or trip up—they are as smooth as glass. Let’s
face it, most normal women don’t date perfectly---they say
the wrong thing occasionally or do something
inappropriate. But these women, never make a wrong move.
The ‘smoother’ they are usually points to the more
pathological they are. The smoothest is the
psychopath.
Is inflexible--cannot change
to meet a spontaneous request.
One of the signs of pathology is inflexibility and rigidity.
Pathology is noted as being a disorder where the person is
incapable of ‘changing, growing, or developing insight
about one’s own behavior.’ If this is true, then it stands to
reason they are also inflexible since they can’t change or
grow.
CONCLUSION
Signs of a bad dating choice and the red flags are
behaviors that men can easily learn to detect. However, it’s
often not the only thing that needs to happen in men’s
lives in order for them to achieve healthy relationship
patterns.
19
Given the choice between a nice girl and a bad girls, his
erotic impulse is going to be to take the bad girl. These are
not easily broken patterns of selection and it’s more than
‘mind-over-matter.’
Sadly, men who start down the path with even one
dangerous and damaged woman average 4-5 before they
manage to get out and stay out. Sometimes this is because
of tragedy! Other times, they have successfully found our
program and have managed to develop their own Do Not
Date List of characteristics in women taken from their own
personal histories of relationship selection.
FOR WOMEN:
Our workbook ‘How to Spot a Dangerous Man—A
Woman’s Survival Guide’ helps women detect
their unique personalized pattern of selection in
dangerous relationships. Our ‘How to Break Up With a
Dangerous Man’ book which helps women realize that
these men don’t break up like normal men do. There are
things you MUST do and MUST NEVER do while trying to
disengage.
You cannot change what you do not see. And until you
understand pathology, the types of dangerous people, their
21
symptoms, and how your history has lead you down a path
to PICK these types, your next relationship will be the same
as this one. The good news is: our program is changing
lives! It is now being used all over the WORLD! My most
recent letter was from a program in Budapest! You don’t
have to stay stuck in relationships with go-nowhere people
…unless you want to.
Sandra L. Brown, MA
Psychotherapist & Author
www.DateBetterWomenNow.com
CONTACT INFORMATION:
The Dangerous Relationship Institute
www.DateBetterWomenNow.com
Email:
HowToSpot (at) yahoo (dot) com
22