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M O D U L E

5 Designing Documents,
Slides, and Screens

Module Outline LEARNING OBJECTIVES

• Why is design important?
• When should I think about
design?
• How should I design paper
pages?
• How should I design presenta-
tion slides?
• How should I design Web pages?
• How do I know whether my
design works?
Review of Key Points
Assignments for Module 5
Polishing Your Prose: Active
and Passive Voice
After reading and applying the information
in Module 5, you’ll be able to demonstrate
Knowledge of
• The importance of document appear-
ance, layout, and design
• Essential design principles
• The relationship between readability
and your credibility
Skills to
• Apply design principles to paper pages,
presentation slides, and Web pages
• Use computer software to increase
document readability

Please see the OLC to preview the key skills from the Conference
Board of Canada’s Employability Skills 2000+ covered in this module.
loc958262_Module05.qxd 12/28/2006
FYI
FedEx saved $400 000 a
year by redesigning its
ground-operations
manuals. Before,
employees could find
the right answer only
53 percent of the time.
Afterward, their success
rate was 80 percent, and
they found answers
25 percent faster.
Source: Joseph Kimble,
“Writing for Dollars, Writing
to Please,” The Scribes
Journal of Legal Writing, 6
(1996–1997): 14–15.
6:46 PM Page 87
Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens Module 5 87
A well-designed document looks inviting, friendly, and accessible. Good document design
saves time and money, builds goodwill, and reduces legal problems. Effective design also
groups ideas visually, making the structure of the document more obvious and easier to
read. Research shows that easy-to-read documents enhance your credibility and build an
image of you as a professional, competent person.1
Why is design important?
Design is essential to meaning making.
Your audience brings expectations to and constructs meaning from the design of your
message. Business audiences expect document and slide design to make it easy for them
to read and understand the content.
When should I think about design?
Think about design at each stage of the writing process.
Because layout and design make the first impression on readers, document design is a
vital component of persuasion. Indeed, you create the best documents when you think
about design at each stage of your writing process:
• As you plan, think about your audience. Are they skilled readers? Are they busy? Will
they read the document straight through or skip around in it? Design the document to
meet readers’ needs and expectations.
• As you write, incorporate lists and headings. Use visuals to convey numerical data
clearly and forcefully.
• Get feedback from people who will be using your document. What parts of the docu-
ment do they find hard to understand? What additional information do they need?
• As you revise, check your draft against the guidelines in this module.
How should I design paper pages?
Follow the design principles of contrast, repetition, alignment,
and proximity to meet audience expectations.2
Use the following guidelines to create visually attractive documents:
• Use white space to separate and emphasize points.
• Use headings to group points.
• Limit the use of words set in all capital letters.
• Use no more than two typefaces in a single document.
• Decide whether to justify margins based on the situation and the audience.
Use White Space
White space—the empty space on the page—emphasizes the material that it separates
from the rest of the text. This emphasis makes the material easier to read. Creating white
space is also known as “menu writing,” because the visual design principle—brief text
highlighted by space—is the same as you find on restaurant menus.
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88 Unit 1 Building Effective Messages

You can create white space in several ways:

• Use headings.
• Use a mix of paragraph lengths (maximum six to seven typed lines).
• Use lists.
• Use tabs or indents—not spacing—to align items vertically.
• Use numbered lists when the number or sequence of items is exact.
• Use bullets (large dots or squares like those in this list) when the number and sequence
are equal.

When you create a list, use parallelism: begin each item on the list with the same part of
speech. If you begin your list with a verb, for example, begin every following
item on the list with a verb. This parallel structure meets the reader’s subconscious expec-
tation. And meeting reader expectation is the most important aspect of business writing.

Not parallel: The following suggestions can help employers avoid bias in job
interviews:
1. Base questions on the job description
2. Questioning techniques
3. Selection and training of interviewers

Parallel: The following suggestions can help employers avoid bias in job
interviews:
1. Base questions on the job description
2. Ask the same questions of all applicants
3. Select and train interviewers carefully

Also parallel: Employers can avoid bias in job interviews by

1. Basing questions on the job description
2. Asking the same questions of all applicants
3. Selecting and training interviewers carefully

Figure 5.1 shows an original typed document. In Figure 5.2 the same document is improved
by using shorter paragraphs, lists, and headings. These devices take space. When saving space
is essential, it’s better to cut the text and keep white space and headings.

Use Headings
Headings are words or short phrases that identify a complete idea and divide your letter,
memo, or report into sections. Headings increase readability because they summarize
what the reader is about to read and increase white space.

• Make headings specific.

• Make each heading cover all the material until the next heading.
• Keep headings at any one level parallel: all nouns, all complete sentences, or all
questions.

In a letter or memo, type main headings flush with the left-hand margin in bold.
Capitalize the first letters of the first word and of other major words; use lowercase for
all other letters. (See Figure 5.2 on page 90 for an example.) In single-spaced text, triple
space between the previous text and the heading; double space between the heading and
the text that follows.

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Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens Module 5 89

FIGURE 5.1
A Document with Poor Visual Impact

MONEY DEDUCTED FROM YOUR WAGES TO PAY CREDITORS

When you buy goods on credit, the store will sometimes ask you to sign a Wage
Assignment form allowing it to deduct money from your wages if you do not pay your
bill. When you buy on credit, you sign a contract agreeing to pay a certain amount
each week or month until you have paid all you owe. The Wage Assignment Form is
separate. It must contain the name of your present employer, your social insurance
number, the amount of money loaned, the rate of interest, the date when payments are
due, and your signature. The words “Wage Assignment” must be printed at the top of
the form and also near the line for your signature. Even if you have signed a Wage
Assignment agreement, Roysner will not withhold part of your wages unless all of the
following conditions are met: 1. You have to be more than forty days late in payment
of what you owe; 2. Roysner has to receive a correct statement of the amount you are
in default and a copy of the Wage Assignment form; and 3. You and Roysner must
receive a notice from the creditor at least twenty days in advance stating that the
creditor plans to make a demand on your wages. This twenty-day notice gives you a
chance to correct the problems yourself. If these conditions are all met, Roysner must
withhold 15 percent of each paycheque until your bill is paid and give this money to
your creditor.

If you think you are not late or that you do not owe the amount stated, you can argue
against it by filing a legal document called a “defence.” Once you file a defence,
Roysner will not withhold any money from you. However, be sure you are right before
you file a defence. If you are wrong, you have to pay not only what you owe but also
all legal costs for both yourself and the creditor. If you are right, the creditor has to pay
all these costs.

In a report, you may need more levels of headings. Module 15 shows how to set
up five levels of headings for reports.

Limit the Use of Words Set in All Capital Letters

We recognize words by their shapes.3 (For example, try reading each line in Figure 5.3) Using
capital letters, all words are rectangular; letters lose the descenders and ascenders that make
reading easier and faster. Use full capitals sparingly. Instead, bold text to emphasize it.

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90 Unit 1 Building Effective Messages

FIGURE 5.2
A Document Revised to Improve Visual Impact

Money Deducted from Your Wages

to Pay Creditors
When you buy goods on credit, the store will sometimes ask you to sign a Wage Assignment form allowing
it to deduct money from your wages if you do not pay your bill.

Have You Signed a Wage Assignment Form?

When you buy on credit, you sign a contract agreeing to pay a certain amount each week or month until
you have paid all you owe. The Wage Assignment Form is separate. It must contain the following:

• The name of your present employer

• Your social insurance number
• The amount of insurance
• The rate of interest
• The date when payments are due
• Your signature

The words “Wage Assignment” must be printed at the top of the form and also near the line for your
signature.

When Would Money Be Deducted from Your Wages to Pay a Creditor?

Even if you have signed a Wage Assignment agreement, Roysner will not withhold part of your wages
unless all of the following conditions are met:

1. You have to be more than 40 days late in payment of what you owe.
2. Roysner has to receive a correct statement of the amount you are in default and
a copy of the Wage Assignment form.
3. You and Roysner must receive a notice from the creditor at least 20 days in
advance stating that the creditor plans to make a demand on your wages. This
20-day notice gives you a chance to correct the problem yourself.

If these conditions are all met, Roysner must withhold fifteen percent (15 percent) of each paycheque
and give this money to your creditor until your bill is paid.

What Should You Do If You Think the Wage Assignment Is Incorrect?

If you think you are not late or that you do not owe the amount stated, you can argue against it by filing
a legal document called a “defence.” Once you file a defence, Roysner will not withhold any money from
you. However, be sure you are right before you file a defence. If you are wrong, you have to pay not
only what you owe but also all legal costs for both yourself and the creditor. If you are right, the creditor
has to pay these costs.

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Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens Module 5 91

FIGURE 5.3
Full Capitals Hide the Shape of a Word

Full capitals hide the shape of a word and slow reading 19% .

FULL CAPITALS HIDE THE SHAPE OF A WORD AND SLOW READING 19% .

Use No More Than Two Fonts in a Single Document

Each font comes in several sizes and usually in several styles (bold, italic, etc.). Most com-
puter fonts are proportional: wider letters (like w) take more space than narrow letters
(like i). Times Roman, Palatino, Helvetica, Geneva, and Arial are proportional fonts.
Fonts such as Courier and Prestige Elite, which were designed for typewriters and are still
offered as computer fonts, are fixed. Every letter takes the same space, so that an i takes
the same space as a w.
Serif fonts have little extensions, called serifs, from the main strokes. (In Figure 5.4, look
at the feet on the t in Times Roman and the little flicks on the ends of the top bar of the
t.) Courier, Times Roman, Palatino, and Lucinda Calligraphy are serif fonts. Serif fonts
are easier to read because the serifs help the eyes move from letter to letter. Helvetica,
Geneva, and Arial are called sans serif fonts because they lack serifs (sans is French for
without). Sans serif fonts are good for titles, tables, and narrow columns.
In magnified text, sans serif fonts are easier to read; therefore, use sans serif fonts for
your PowerPointTM presentations.
Most business documents use just one font—usually Times Roman, Palatino, Helvetica,
or Arial in 11-point or 12-point. In a complex document, use bigger type for main head-
ings and slightly smaller type for subheadings and text. If you combine two fonts in one
document, choose one serif and one sans serif typeface.

FIGURE 5.4
Examples of Different Fonts

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92 Unit 1 Building Effective Messages

The visual design of a message can support or undercut the impact of the words.

Decide Whether to Justify Margins Based on the Situation

and the Audience
Margins that are justified on the left are sometimes called ragged right margins. Lines end
in different places because words are of different lengths. The FYI boxes use ragged right
margins, which are most common in current business usage. However, computers allow
you to use full justification, so that type on the both sides of the page is evenly lined up.
Books, like this one, usually use full justification.
Use ragged right margins in these cases:
• You do not have proportional typefaces.
• You want a less formal look.
• You want to be able to revise an individual page without reprinting the whole
document.
Use justified margins in these cases:
• You can use proportional typefaces.
• You want a more formal look.
• You use very short line lengths.

How should I design presentation slides?

Keep slides simple, relevant, and interesting.
As you design slides for PowerPoint™ and other presentation programs, keep these guide-
SEE
THE lines in mind:
OLC! • Create slides that emphasize your key ideas.
Web Page and Power • Emphasize visuals. Pictures, charts, and graphs have much greater impact: they appeal
Point™ Design Tips to the right, or creative, side of the brain; they are more easily accessible than text; and
they are more memorable.
• Use audience-relevant photos or metaphoric illustrations to keep memorable images in
your listeners’ minds.
• Keep the text to an absolute minimum; give your audience slide handouts on which
they can write notes.
• Use bullet-point phrases with concrete words.

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Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens Module 5 93

• Contrast background and text: the rule is light on dark or dark on light.
• Use a big font: 44-point or 50-point for titles, 32-point for subheads, and 28-point for
examples.
• Customize your slides with the company logo, charts, and scanned-in photos and
drawings.
• Place illustrations at the top right of the slide for a stronger and longer impression.
Avoid death by PowerPoint™: never, ever read text to your audience. Presenters who put
plenty of text on their slides, and then read the text, only exasperate their audiences.
People do not want presenters to read to them; they can read for themselves. The last
thing they want to read is an uninterrupted block of text.
Use clip art only if the art is really appropriate to your points and only if you are able to
find non-sexist and non-racist images.
Choose a consistent template, or background design, for the entire presentation. Make
sure that the template is appropriate for your subject matter. For example, use a globe
only if your topic is international business and palm trees only if you’re talking about
tropical vacations. PowerPoint’s™ basic templates may seem repetitive to people who see
lots of presentations. Whenever possible, customize the basic template.
Choose a light background if the lights are off during the presentation and a dark back-
ground if the lights are on. Slides will be easier to read if you use high contrast between
the words and background. See Figure 5.5 for examples of effective and ineffective colour
combinations.

How should I design Web pages?

Pay attention to content, navigation, and the first page.
Good Web pages have both good content and an interesting design.
Your home page is crucial. Jakob Nielsen claims that only 10 percent of users scroll
beyond the first page.4 To make it more likely that visitors will scroll down, do the

FIGURE 5.5
Effective and Ineffective Colours for Presentation Slides
Effective

Use high contrast Repeat colours in

between words and words and
background. design elements.

Ineffective

Dark colours Light colours

Limit the numbe
number
disappear against a disappear against a
of bright colours.
dark background. light background.

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94 Unit 1 Building Effective Messages
EXPANDING A CRITICAL SKILL
Using Computer Software to Create
Good Design
Standard word-processing programs such as WordPerfect
and Word help you create well-designed documents.
Different versions of each program handle commands dif-
ferently. Look up the bolded terms below in a manual, a
book about the program, or the online Help menu of your
computer program to find out how to use each feature.
Letters and Memos
Choose a businesslike font in 11-point or 12-point type.
Times Roman, Palatino, Helvetica, and Arial are the most
commonly used business fonts.
Use bold headings. Avoid having a heading all by itself at
the bottom of the page. If you can’t have at least one line of
text under it, move the heading to the next page. You can
check this by eye or set your program to avoid widows and
orphans.
Use tabs or indents to line up the return address and sig-
nature blocks in modified block format ( Module 9),
the To/From/Subject line section of a memo, or the items in
a list.
Change your tab settings to create good visual impact. A
setting at 0.6" (1.5 cm) works well for the Date/To/From/
Subject line section of memos. Use 0.4" (1 cm) for para-
graphs and 0.6" (1.5 cm) for the start of bulleted lists. For
lists with 10 or more items, the setting will need to be a bit
further to the right—about 0.65" (1.65 cm).
Choose the design for bullets under Insert or Format. Both
WordPerfect and Word will create bulleted or numbered
lists automatically. If you have lists with paragraphs, turn
off the automatic bullets and create them with the bullets in
Symbols. Use indent (not tab) to move the whole list in, not
just a single line of it.
Use a header (in the Insert or View menu) with automatic
page numbering (pull down Format to Page) for second
and subsequent pages. That way, when you delete a
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paragraph or expand your reader benefits, you don’t have
to move the header manually. You can either delay the
header till page 2 or create it on page 2. For best visual im-
pact, make your header one point size smaller than the
body type.
For a two-page document, change the top margin of the
second page to 0.5" (1.25 cm) so the header is close to the
top of the page.
Use the same side margins as your letterhead. If you aren’t
using letterhead, use 1" (2.5 cm) side margins.
On a two-page document, make sure the second page has
at least four to six lines of text for letters and at least
10 lines of text for memos. If you have less, either (1) add
details, (2) start the message further down on page 1 so
that there is more text on page 2, or (3) make the text fit on
just one page by (a) tightening your prose, (b) using full jus-
tification to save space, or (c) using less white space.
Word processing programs have a quick correct or auto
correct feature that changes hte to the, (c) to ©, and so
forth. Go into the Tools or Format menus to find these fea-
tures and edit them so they make only the changes you
want.
Hyphenation may be under Format or Language in Tools.
Before you print, centre your document on the page like a
picture in a frame. Go to file, page setup, layout, vertical
alignment, centre.
Printing
To save paper, check print preview on the File menu.
You’ll be able to see how your document will look on the
page and make minor layout changes before you print.
If you prepare your document on one computer and print it
from another, be sure to open the document and check
all of it before you print. Different printers may change
margins slightly. Even the same size font may differ from
printer to printer: a document that fits on one page in
11-point on one computer may take up more room on a
different one.
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Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens Module 5 95

following on the first page:

• Provide an introductory statement orienting the reader to the organization.

• Offer an overview of the content of your page, with links to take readers to the parts
that interest them.
• Include information that will be the most interesting and useful to the most readers.

The rest of the page can contain information that only a limited number of readers will
want. When a document reaches four pages or more, think about dividing it into several
documents. Specialized information can go on another page, which readers can click on
if they want it.
Make it clear what readers will get if they click on a link.

Ineffective phrasing: Employment. Openings and skills levels are determined by each
office.
Better phrasing: Employment. Openings listed by skills level and by location.

Minimize the number of links readers have to click through to get to the information they
want.
Keep these points in mind as you design the pages:
• Use small graphics; keep animation to a minimum. Both graphics and animation take
time to load, especially with a slow modem.
• Provide visual variety. Use indentations, bulleted or numbered lists, and headings.
• Unify multiple pages with a small banner, graphic, or label so surfers know whom the
pages belong to.
• On each page, provide a link to the home page, the name and email address of the
person who maintains the page, and the date when the page was last revised.

How do I know whether my design works?

Test it.
A design that looks pretty may or may not work for the audience. To know whether your
design is functional, test it with your audience:

• Watch someone as he or she uses the document to do a task. Where does the reader
pause, reread, or seem confused? How long does it take? Does the document enable
the reader to complete the task accurately?
• Ask the reader to “think aloud” while completing the task, interrupt the reader at key
points to ask what he or she is thinking, or ask the reader to describe his or her thought
processes after completing the document and the task. Exploring the reader’s thought
processes is important, since a reader may get the right answer for the wrong reasons.
You can thus identify where and how the design needs work.
• Test the document with the people who are most likely to have trouble with it: very young
readers, people with little education, people who read English as a second language, and
people who have little experience with Web pages.

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96 Unit 1 Building Effective Messages

Employability Skills 2000+

Please see the OLC to preview the key skills from the Conference Board of Canada’s Employability Skills 2000+
covered in this module.

Review of Key Points

1. Why is document design important? 5. What are the key characteristics of well-designed
2. What are the four basic principles of document Web pages?
design? 6. What criteria can you use to assess your document
3. Identify four strategies writers can use to create design choices?
attractive documents.
4. What should presenters remember when creating
slides?

Assignments for Module 5

Questions for Critical Thinking
5.1 “Closed captions” for people with hearing 5.4 Design choices have ethical implications.
impairments are almost always typed in full Indicate whether you consider each of the
capital letters. Why is that a bad idea? Are there following actions ethical, unethical, or a grey
any advantages to using full capitals? area. Which of the actions would you do?
What arguments could you use for changing the Which would you feel uncomfortable
practice? doing? Which would you refuse to do?
5.2 Suppose that, in one company, a worker says, Why?
“We don’t need to worry about design. People
1. Putting the advantages of a proposal in a
pay a toll charge to call us, and we make a slight
bulleted list, while discussing the
profit on each call. So if they have questions
disadvantages in a paragraph
about the product, that’s OK. If better design
2. Using a bigger type size so that a résumé fills
reduced the number of calls, we might actually
a whole page
lose money!” How would you persuade such a
3. Putting the services that are not covered
person that good document design is worth
by your health plan in full caps to make
doing?
it less likely that people will read the
5.3 Royal College is preparing a brochure to
page
persuade prospective students to consider taking
classes. The school doesn’t want to invest a lot of
money in full-scale document testing. What free
or almost-free things could it do to make the
document as effective as possible?

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Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens Module 5 97

Exercises and Problems

5.5 Evaluating Page Designs
Use the guidelines in Module 5 to evaluate their strong points? What could be
each of the following page designs. What are improved?

Source: Diane Burns and S. Venit, “What’s Wrong with This Paper?” PC Magazine no. 17 (October 13, 1987) pp. 174–75.

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98 Unit 1 Building Effective Messages

5.6 Evaluating PowerPoint Slides

Evaluate the following drafts of PowerPoint™ slides. • Is the font big enough to read from a distance?
• Is the art relevant and appropriate?
• Is the background appropriate for the topic?
• Is each slide free from errors?
• Do the slides use words or phrases rather than
complete sentences?

c.

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Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens
5.7 Using Headings
Reorganize the items in each of the following lists,
using appropriate headings. Use bulleted or numbered
lists as appropriate.
a. Rules and Procedures for a Tuition
Reimbursement Plan
1. You are eligible to be reimbursed if you have
been a full-time employee for at least three
months.
2. You must apply before the first class meeting.
3. You must earn a “C” or better in the course.
4. You must submit a copy of the approved
application, an official grade report, and a
receipt for tuition paid to be reimbursed.
5. You can be reimbursed for courses related to
your current position or another position in
the company, or for courses that are part of a
degree related to a current or possible job.
6. Your supervisor must sign the application
form.
5.8 Analyzing Documents
Collect several documents available to you as a
worker, student, or consumer: letters and memos,
newsletters, ads and flyers, reports. Use the guidelines
in Module 5 to evaluate each of them.
As your instructor directs,
a. Discuss the documents with a small group of
classmates.
b. Write a memo to your instructor evaluating three
or more of the documents. Include originals or
5.9 Evaluating Web Pages
Compare three Web pages in the same category (for
example, non-profit organizations, car companies,
university departments, sports information). Which
pages are most effective? Why? What would you
change? Why?
As your instructor directs,
a. Discuss the pages with a small group of
classmates.
b. Write a memo to your instructor evaluating the
pages. Include the URLs of the pages in your
memo.
Module 5 99
7. Courses may be at any appropriate level (high
school, college or university, or graduate school).
b. Activities in Starting a New Business
• Getting a loan or venture capital
• Getting any necessary city or provincial
licences
• Determining what you will make, do, or sell
• Identifying the market for your products or
services
• Pricing your products or services
• Choosing a location
• Checking zoning laws that may affect the
location
• Identifying government and university
programs for small business development
• Figuring cash flow
• Ordering equipment and supplies
• Selling
• Advertising and marketing
photocopies of the documents you discuss as an
appendix to your memo.
c. Write a memo to your supervisor recommending
ways the organization can improve its documents.
d. In an oral presentation to the class, explain what
makes one document good and another one weak.
If possible, use transparencies so classmates can
see the documents as you evaluate them.
c. In an oral presentation to the class, explain what
makes one page good and another one weak. If
possible, put the pages onscreen so classmates can
see the pages as you evaluate them.
d. Post your evaluation of the pages in an email
message to the class. Include hot links to the pages
you evaluate.
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100 Unit 1 Building Effective Messages

5.10 Analyzing a Document

Your municipal and provincial governments may
offer internships and cooperative placements to
postsecondary students. Research (visit, telephone,
email, find someone who knows someone) the
placement possibilities through your
college/university co-op placement office, or contact
the government department directly. Request a copy of
the application or information documents for these
positions. Write an analysis of the document’s layout
and page design.

5.11 Revising a Financial Aid Form

You’ve just joined the Financial Aid office at your
school. The director gives you the accompanying form
and asks you to redesign it.
“We need this form to see whether parents have
other students in college or university besides the one
requesting aid. Parents are supposed to list all family
members that the parents support—themselves, the
person here, any other kids in college or university,
and any younger dependent kids.
“Half of these forms are filled out incorrectly. Most
people just list the student going here; they leave out
everyone else.
“If something is missing, the computer sends out a letter
and a second copy of this form. The whole process starts
over. Sometimes we send this form back two or three
times before it’s right. In the meantime, students’ finan-
cial aid is delayed—maybe for months. Sometimes things
are so late that they can’t register for classes, or they
have to pay tuition themselves and get reimbursed later.
“If so many people are filling out the form wrong, the
form itself must be the problem. See what you can do
with it. But keep it to a page.”
Please complete the chart below by listing all family members for whom you (the parents) will provide more than half support
during the academic year (July 1 through June 30). Include yourselves (the parents), the student, and your dependent children,
even if they are not attending college or university.
As your instructor directs,
a. Analyze the current form and identify its problems.
b. Revise the form. Add necessary information;
reorder information; change the chart to make it
easier to fill out.
Hints:
• Where are people supposed to send the form?
What is the phone number of the financial aid
office? Should they need to call the office if the
form is clear?
• Does the definition of half-time apply to all
students or just those taking courses beyond high
school?
• Should capital or lowercase letters be used?
• Are the lines big enough to write in?
• What headings or subdivisions within the form
would remind people to list all family members
whom they support?
• How can you encourage people to return the form
promptly?

EDUCATIONAL INFORMATION, 2006–2007

RELATIONSHIP NAME OF
FULL NAME OF FAMILY SCHOOL, COLLEGE,
OF FAMILY MEMBERS TO OR UNIVERSITY HALF-TIME* LESS THAN
MEMBER AGE STUDENT SCHOOL YEAR FULL TIME OR MORE HALF-TIME

STUDENT
APPLICANT

*Half-time is defined as 6 credit hours or 12 clock hours a term.

When the information requested is received by our office, processing of your financial aid application will resume.
Please sign and mail this form to the above address as soon as possible. Your signature certifies that this information and
the information on the FAF is true and complete to the best of your knowledge. If you have any questions, please contact a
member of the needs analysis staff.

Signature of Parent(s) Data

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Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens
Polishing Your Prose
Active and Passive Voice
Because it depicts the action, the verb is the most
important word in the sentence. Verbs indicate
who or what is doing the action through “voice.”
When whoever is acting is also the subject of
the sentence, the verb is active; in the passive
voice, the subject is acted on by someone or
something else.
Contemporary communication prefers verbs in the
active voice, because the resulting sentence is
clearer and shorter. When writers want to avoid or
downplay delegating responsibility, they use the
passive voice.
Active: The man bought grapes at the store.
Passive: The grapes were bought by the man at the
store.
In the active voice, the subject—the man—is doing
the action—bought. In the passive version, “The
grapes” is the subject, yet it is the man, not the
grapes, that is actually doing the action. It is harder
for the reader to follow who or what did the
action. In addition, it takes more words to convey
the same idea.
To change a passive voice construction into the
active voice, start by identifying who or what is
doing the action. If no agent (“by _____”) is
present in the sentence, you will need to supply it.
A passive verb is usually accompanied by a copula
verb, such as is, are, or were. Rewrite the sentence
by putting the actor in the role of subject and drop-
ping the helping verb:
Passive: The plan was approved by our clients.
Active: Our clients approved the plan.
Passive: PowerPoint™ slides have been created.
Active: Susan created the PowerPoint™
slides.
Passive: It is desired that you back up your work
daily.
Active: Back up your work daily.
Module 5 101
In business communication, active voice is usually
better. However, passives are better in three
situations:
1. Use passives to emphasize the object receiving
the action, not the agent.
Your order was shipped November 15.
The customer’s order, not the shipping clerk, is
important.
2. Use passives to provide coherence within a
paragraph. A sentence is easier to read if “old”
information comes at the beginning of a
sentence. When you have been discussing a
topic, use the word again as your subject even if
that requires a passive verb.
The bank made several risky loans in the late
1990s. These loans were written off as
“uncollectible” in 2003.
Using loans as the subject of the second
sentence provides a link between the two
sentences, making the paragraph as a whole
easier to read.
3. Use passives to avoid assigning blame.
The order was damaged during shipment.
An active verb would require the writer to
specify who damaged the order. The passive
here is more tactful.
Exercises
Identify whether the passives in the following sen-
tences are acceptable, or whether the verb should
be changed to active.
1. The contract was signed by the vice president of
finance.
2. New employees Ms. Taleroski, Mr. Franklin,
and Ms. Holbreck were introduced at last
week’s staff meeting.
3. Two visitors are expected to arrive at
headquarters tomorrow.
4. Outgoing correspondence was collected by the
mailroom staff.
5. The proposal was turned in late.
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102 Unit 1 Building Effective Messages

Turn these passive voice constructions into active 9. Phone calls need to be returned within
voice: 24 hours.
10. Packages are to be sent to the mailroom for
6. Correspondence was collected by the mailroom
delivery.
staff.
7. Phone calls were returned by the human Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises
resources administrator. on page 571.
8. In April, budgets were amortized and files
created for the project.

Online Learning Centre

Visit the Online Learning Centre at www.mcgrawhill.ca/olc/locker to access module quizzes,
a searchable glossary, résumé and letter templates, additional business writing samples, CBC
videos, and other learning and study tools.

CBC Video Case

Visit the Online Learning Centre at www.mcgrawhill.ca/olc/locker to view “Office Etiquette,”
an online CBC Video Case that explores how good manners aid communication between
co-workers.

Cases for Communicators

Minorities Need Apply
Canadians may feel complacent about Canadian
multiculturalism—particularly when comparing our
supposed acceptance of diversity with recent events in
Paris and Holland. A closer look at our institutions,
corporate boards and police forces, however, indicates
that systemic prejudice still exists. The Royal Canadian
Mounted Police (RCMP) is one of many Canadian
institutions that must transform itself to reflect the
diverse populations it serves.
At present, the RCMP is mostly made up of white
males. Indeed, of the 1000 Mounties on the force,
“… just 6.4 percent … are from minority backgrounds.
Some 7.6 percent are aboriginal and 18 percent are
women.” Although visible minorities make up “about
13 percent” of officers on the Toronto and York police
forces, “… minority representation in Canadian police
services averages around 5 percent.” Since even our
smaller cities are now attracting immigrants from all
over the world, the RCMP recognizes it’s time to
recruit and hire people whose languages and cultures
represent the diverse communities they serve.
But this goal is not as easy as it sounds. First, many
recent immigrants do not know much about the
RCMP; they don’t know that the Mounties are a
national police force with the same roles and
responsibilities as provincial and municipal police
officers. Secondly, the recruitment drive must be
inclusive enough to attract applicants from Canada’s
widely diverse cultural mix.
How can the Mounties best reach their
audiences?5
Individual Activity
You’re the constable in charge of planning the RCMP
diversity recruitment drive. Before you can devise any
strategies, you need to apply the PAIBOC model to
analyze the situation:

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Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens
Purpose(s): Why are we recruiting? What results do we
want from our recruiting drive? How can we best
attract the positive attention of our audiences?
Audiences(s): Who are our target audiences? What
groups are considered “diverse”? What do these
groups know about the RCMP force? What do they
need to know to be attracted to the force? How
homogeneous are these target groups? What values of
these disparate groups can we appeal to?
Information: What information must our recruitment
strategies convey? Why?
Benefits: What are the many benefits, tangible and
intangible, of joining the Mounties? What benefits
would specifically attract our target groups?
Objections: What objections about joining the RCMP
might I expect? How can I best eliminate, overcome, or
respond to those objections?
Context: How do my target audiences feel about the
RCMP? About policing in general? What current
economic, political, legal and/or social events can I use
to my advantage? What current events might deter
members of my target audiences from joining the
RCMP?
Module 5 103
Write down your thoughts for future reference. Be as
thorough as possible in your analysis.
Next, visit and tour the RCMP Web site at
http:///www.rcmp-grc.gc.ca.
How many of the groups identified as diverse do you
see represented in the photos on the site? What is your
opinion of the current recruitment drive strategies
identified on the site? Jot down your impressions.
Group Activity
Form a recruitment drive committee with three other
classmates. Compare notes on your PAIBOC analyses,
and your analyses of the RCMP Web site. Together
with your committee members, identify four
recruitment strategies that will attract any/all of your
four target groups.
Write a letter from your committee to Geoff Gruson,
executive director of the Police Sector Council, in
Ottawa, describing your recruitment drive strategies in
detail.
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