One-liners and proverbs part Lo-M

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Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.

Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say
so. (David Grayson)
Looking back, may I be filled with gratitude;
Looking forward, may I be filled with hope;
Looking upward, may I be aware of strength;
Looking inward, may I find peace.......
Lord, be merciful, shut me up when my life speaks so much louder than my words.
Lord give me an answer, or give me the patience to wait for one, just do it now
please!
Lord grant me the courage to do the things I can, the serenity to accept the th
ings I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish. (Michelangelo)
Lord, make my words soft and tender for tomorrow I may have to eat them.
Lord, may others treat me tomorrow as I have treated them today.
Lord, so far today I've not been grumpy, selfish, greedy, envious, proud, or an
gry. I'm really pleased about that. But in a few minutes now, I'm going to get u
p and from then on, I'll probably need a lot more help.
Lord, where we are wrong, make us willing to change; where we are right, make u
s easy to live with. (Rev. Peter Marshall)
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone
who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. (Oprah Winfrey)
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
Love God more than you fear hell.
Love has reasons that reason knows nothing of.
Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.
Love is blind.
Marriage is the eye-opener.
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
Love is not blind; it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is will
ing to see less. (Rabbi Julius Gordon)
Love is not just gazing at each other but looking together in the same directio
n.
Love is not paid back only passed on. (Nancy Pettit)
Love is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity. (Helen Hayes)
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another is essential to your o
wn.
Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly.
Love is the one word that we use every day, and the one word that words cannot
define. (Anna K. Schwartz)
Love is the only fire hot enough to melt the iron obstinacy of a creature's wil
l.
Love is the unity of two hearts beating together as one.
Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relat
ionship, and find out you still care for that person.
 Love, like paint, can make things beautiful when you spread it, but it simply d
ries up when you don't use it.
Love makes a house a home.
Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe.
Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; and every little absence is
an age. (John Dryden)
Love sees no colour.
Love sought is good, but given unsought is better. (William Shakespeare)

Love the sinner but hate the sin. (Mahatma Gandhi)

"LSD melts your mind, not in your hand"
Luck is a loser's excuse for a winner's position!
Mae: I've been asked to get married lots of times.
Rae: Who asked you?
Mae: Mom and Dad. Lots of times.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Make no judgments where you have no compassion. (Anne McCaffrey)
Make your life a mission, not an intermission. (Arnold Glasgow)
Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he m
akes a hole-in-one!
Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has courage to lose sight of the shore
.
Man finds it hard to get what he wants, because he does not want the best.
God finds it hard to give, because He would give the best, and man will not take
it.
Man is a peculiar creature. He spends a fortune making his home insect-proof an
d air-conditioned, and then eats in the yard.
Man's way leads to a hopeless end! Gods way leads to an endless hope!
Many a man thinks he is buying pleasure, when he is really selling himself to i
t. (Benjamin Franklin)
Many Christians debate whether the devil is on earth or in hell. Can he dwell i
n Christians or only in the world? The fact is: the devil is in darkness. Wherev
er there is spiritual darkness, there the devil will be.
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
Many people lose their tempers merely by seeing you keep yours.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
Many people spend their health for wealth, and then try to spend their wealth f
or health. (Mikey)
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave
footprints in your heart.
Many years ago, a large American shoe company sent two sales representatives ou
t to different parts of the Australian outback to see if they could drum up some
business among the Aborigines. Some time later, the company received telegrams
from both agents.
The first said, "No business here . . . natives don't wear shoes."
The second one said, "Great opportunity here . . . natives don't wear shoes!"
(John M. Capozzi)
Marital problems? You don't need a new wife, you need a new life!
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a c
ar battery. (Erma Bombeck)
Marriage - is an expensive way of getting your laundry done for free.
Materialism is buying things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impres
s people who don't matter.
Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you'
ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you are dead. (Irish p
roverb)
 May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you stro
ng, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy and enough mo
ney to buy gifts.
May your life be long and useful like a roll of toilet paper.
May your trouble be like the old man's teeth...few and far between.
Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct;
what they like to be is a man's last romance.
Men tell you the facts, but God will tell you the truth!
Men will spend their health getting wealth. Then, gladly pay all they have earn
ed to get health back. (Mike Murdock)
Middle age starts when you have been warned to slow down, not by a motorcycle c
op, but by your doctor.
Minds, like parachutes, only function when they are open.
Money: a businessman earns it,
an economist learns it,
a banker turns it,
a politician burns it,
and a wise man spurns it.
Money comes and goes, but people last for a lifetime. (Rob Shan)
Money glitters, beauty sparkles, and intelligence shines.
Money is an excellent servant, but a horrible master.
Money is like unspreadable butter, you try and spread it but it all lumps toget
her at one end of the bread.
Money is nice, yet nice is worth more.
Money talks.
I'll not deny.
I heard it once.
It said good-bye.
Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
Moral rules are directions for running the human machine. Every moral rule is t
here to prevent a breakdown, or a strain, or a friction, in the running of that
machine. (C.S. Lewis)
More doors are opened with "please" than with keys.
Morning people: "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, a
nd wise."
Night people: "Anybody who goes to bed the same day they got up is a quitter."
Mosquitoes are a great moral force; it forces mankind to wear more clothes that
modesty.
Most accidents happen at home - maybe we should move.
Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back int
o a sun in the daytime.
Most great men and women are not perfectly rounded in their personalities, but
are instead people whose one driving enthusiasm is so great it makes their fault
s seem insignificant. (Charles A. Cerami)
Most of our suspicions of others are aroused by our knowledge of ourselves.
Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important. (
T.S. Elliot)
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. (Abraham Linc
oln)
Most people want to serve God -- but only in an advisory capacity.
Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?"
Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question."
Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?"
Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"
Mrs. Squiffy decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint
me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby penda
nt."
"But you are not wearing any of those things."
"I know," said Mrs. Squiffy. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm s
ure he will remarry, and I want his new wife to go nuts looking for the jewelry.
"
Murphy's Law isn't recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if
not you'll become a philosopher. (Socrates)
My aim is that when my hands will work no longer, that the works of my hands wi
ll still continue to keep on working.
My best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.
My "check engine" light came on the other day. I popped the hood, and looked, t
he engine is STILL there! Silly light . . .
My dog is very obedient,
he does what he is bid.
A sign said 'wet paint',
and that's just what he did.
My face in the mirror
Isn't wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn't dirty.
The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely,
And so does my lawn.
I think I might never
Put my glasses back on.
My five-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher what her father does, and sh
e replied, "Whatever my Mom tells him to."
My goal in life is to be the sort of person my dog thinks I am.
My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do t
he work and those who take the credit.
He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition. (In
dira Gandhi)
My house was clean last week.
Sorry you missed it.
My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life th
ere. (Charles F. Keetering)
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until al
l the groceries are unloaded from the car. (Erma Bombeck)
My love is like a cabbage, divided into two,
The leaves I give to others but the heart I give to you.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. (Ashleigh Brill
iant)
My parents worked hard to give us everything money could not buy.
My pastor-husband has a sweet tooth, so I knew the chocolate chip cookies I'd j
ust baked might disappear before I returned from running errands. To discourage
him, I taped a verse on the wrapped goodies: "'Everything is permissible for me,
but not everything is beneficial." - 1 Cor. 6:12.
When I returned I found half the cookies gone and another verse attached: "The r
ighteous eat to their heart's content, but the stomach of the wicked goes hungry
" - Prov. 13:25.
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch on fire o
r block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one cares. Why should you? (Erma Bo
mbeck)
My worst day of vacation has always been better than my best day at work.

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Regularly updated by Herman de Zwaan.