Extraordinary stories of ordinary women

Submitted by admin3 on 30 April 2011 - 3:18pm

Articles
Indian Muslim
Women
TCN Special Series: Part V on Jyotsna Bewa
By Anjuman Ara Begum, TwoCircles.net,
Jyotsna Bewa, 48 years old, was the principal care-taker of the Dargah Sharif of
Hazrat Shah Kamal Baba, popularly known as Pirsthan situated in Mahendraganj, W
est Garo Hills, Meghalaya. She became the only femalede-facto care-taker of the
Pirsthan in 1998 and continued in the post till 2005, when the management of the
Pirsthan was handed over to the Waqf Board of Meghalaya. She challenged this an
d as a result a civil suit is pending for disposal in the Supreme Court of India
[Appeal No. Review Petition No 13 (SH) of 2008 in writ appeal no. 34(SH) of 200
8].
Please tell us about your family.
I was born in Mahendraganj. My father was late Babar Ali Sheikh and mother late
Azifan Begum. I have two children. My son Ali Khandakar is 17 years old and my d
aughter TahminaKhandakar is 18 years old. My husband Lutfar Rehman Khandakar exp
ired 13 years ago.
At what age did you get married?
My first marriage was at the age of 11. At that time I didnâ t understand what marria
ge was. I used to spend most of my time playing with toys and then one day I got
married. I was shocked as I had to migrate to another house, the house of my hu
sband. I wore saree for the first time on the day of marriage. My husband was ta
ll and healthy and I screamed of fear when I saw him for the first time. It was
also very shocking for me to see a man in close proximity. I used to cry all the
day. So my parents brought me back and kept me for a few days riding in a cart.
I hardly knew my responsibilities in my in-lawsâ house. Finally my in-laws realized
that they made a mistake and after six months they rushed me back to my parentsâ ho
use. I liked coming back home.
When was your second marriage?
I got married again after 5 years at the age of 17 and this time the man I marri
ed was 75 years old. And after three years I gave birth to a son, Murad Ali Khan
dakar. The marriage was fixed by a match maker. My brother extracted information
about him and found that he already had three wives. Both my mother and brother
objected to this proposal but the match maker could persuade my father somehow
and he promised to give my hand to him. Due to objections from my brothers, my f
ather arranged the marriage in a neighbourâ s house. I didnâ t give my consent on the mar
iage ceremony. Then a relative put a big knife on my neck, and I gave my consent
and married him.
Why did a man of 75 years want to marry you?
He wanted a son as none of his three wives could give birth to a son.
How was your new life after getting married to a man as old as that?
I was the youngest of the four wives of my husband. My step-daughters were older
to me. Somehow I managed to be a member of the family with sweetness and bitter
ness. I accepted everything as a woman belongs to one who holds her. Everyone wa
s happy when I gave birth to a son after three years. My son was the first male
child in the family. But happiness didnâ t last long. My son died at the age of 7 due
to a sudden fever. I was very sad. But then I gave birth to a daughter and a so
n in the next two consecutive years. When my son was two and half years old, I b
ecame a widow at the age of about 34 years. My husband died of old age as he was
103 years. It was in 1998.

Jyotsna Bewa
How did you become the care-taker of the Pirsthan?
My husband was the principal care-taker of the Pirsthan and the main income sour
ce for the family. When he died, myself, on behalf of my young son, became the c
are-taker of the Pirsthan. People criticized and opposed me as care-taker as I w
as a woman. I argued that I was just representing my son. I was not the real car
e-taker. By that time the Pirsthan was also declared to be under the Waqf Board.
I filed a case in the lower court and then appealed to the High Court. The suit
lasted for 5 years. Then the case went to the Supreme Court. The verdict in the
High Court was in my favour. As a widow and being completely illiterate, I was
totally at a loss. My advocate Debasish Nandi from Tura encouraged and helped me
a lot. It was a big fight for me to go out of the house and deal with a court c
ase like this. I sold my ornaments and got some money as compensation for border
fencing and transfer of Jatadari lands.
How do you sustain yourself in the absence of the main earning member of the fam
ily?
I am a widow and I face lots of problems. I have two bighas of agricultural land
that gives me rice for the year. I work as a local healer and provide tabeez to
the people and earn a meagre amount that can be called livelihood. All my savin
gs have been spent on the litigation and I have some loan as well. Both my child
ren are in school and I have to bear the expenses for their education. Life is v
ery hard.
What keeps your life going?
Hope. I am hopeful that I will overcome the struggles in life and good days will
knock my door soon. I feel that girls should not get married so early like me.
They should get education first, then a secured livelihood and only then should
come marriage.
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HATS OFF TO JYOTSNA BEWA. Indian Muslims : Lead.
Submitted by N. Das (not verified) on 1 May 2011 - 2:15pm.
Indian muslims should LEAD., rather than follow. A small instance. Marriages : M
uslims are the poorest community of India (Poorer than the SCs and STs, as scien
tifically documented in the Sachar Committee Report). So, their marriages must b
e simple. There may be certain families who have the financial means., BUT in ke
eping with the general condition of their community, tbey must display decency,
dignity and AUSTERITY.
Look at Kate Middleton. What a beautiful bride. What a graceful bride. And not a
tola of jewelry. (Marwari Jewellers - Financiers of RSS and Muslim-directed pog
roms in India., banged their head against the commode., when they saw Kate Middl
eton as bride., sans Jewelry). Now., wearing Jewelry, tons of it., Devdas-inspir
ed sets., will be a sign of JANGLIPAN. Jewelry is worn by Prostitutes and Harlot
s., not decent women. Thats the message that must trickle-down.
Muslim girls must wear the jewelry / ornaments of Education. Good health, good c
lothes, and the Jewelry of Education.
COme out of the dirty web of gold and diamonds., and adorn yourself with the jew
elry of Education. That is real style. Medical., Engg., (IIT)., CAs., success in
the UPSC., Entreprenuership... that must be the goal... rather than Haldi-Mehen
di (Mehendi ke katorey par laat maro)... and ugly gold (ugly yellow metal).
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