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Do Not Speak the Unpleasant Truths

Na brooyaat Satyam Apriyam

न l
चनन एष न न ll
Speak what is true, speak what is pleasant
Speak not what is true but unpleasant
Nor what is pleasant but not true

This is a compilation of some emails sent to our Gita groups about a topic
that has always interested me. We should always speak the truth. We know
that. But, should we always speak the truth, even if it is unpleasant, and
unmindful of any, all, or even some of its consequences?

Lord Krishna’s advise, in the Bhagavad Gita, is worth following here even
to seek an answer to these basic questions. When faced with the choice of
to do or not to do, Krishna says that one should consult the shastras – the
scriptures. In other words, we cannot act whimsically on our own and
become the judges of what is right or wrong, or what is to be done or not to
be done. The shastras must be the yardstick (pramaaNam) against which
we measure our actions. This is clearly stated in chapter 16, verses 23 &
24 of the Bhagavad Gita.

Yah shaastravidhim utsrujya vartate kamakaartahaa l


Na sa siddhim avaapnoti na sukham na paraam gatim ll 16.23 ll

Tasmaat shaastram pramaaNam te kaaryaakaarya vyavastithau l


Jnaatva shaastra vidhaanoktam karma kartum ihaarhasi ll 16.24 ll
Kaarya + akaarya = kaaryaakaarya. Kaarya means what we do, actions we
wish to perform and akaarya means what we do not do or actions that we
either do not wish to perform or know that we should not perform. When
placed in this situation (vyavastithau), of choosing between what to do and
what not to do, Krishna says, find out and understand (jnaatva) what has
been stated in the scriptures, the shaastras – shastra vidhaana uktam. He
also says, tasmaat, which means therefore. When we encounter, therefore,
it means something has been said before that justifies the conclusion that
follows. What follows the tasmaat? Tasmaat shaastram pramaaNam te,
therefore, let shaastra be the yardstick for you.

Krishna says in the earlier verse that those who willfully neglect or abandon
(utsrujya) the teachings of the shaastras (shaastra vidhim) and act, or exist
(vartate), according to their own whims and desires or lusts (kaamakaa
ratahaa), they do not achieve perfection in any of their endeavors (na sa
siddhim avaapnoti), they do not achieve any sense of peace or happiness
(na sukham), nor do they achieve the here after (na paraam gatim) – the
Supreme Abode – where everyone should aspire to go. And, therefore, etc.
says Krishna.

Not only does Krishna tell us that we should follow the injunctions of our
scriptures, he also tells us why we must do so. If we do not, there are
consequences. The simple consequences are the lack of any siddhi
(fulfillment, success, excellence, perfection) in our endeavors and the lack
of peace and happiness. This is at the purely mundane, every day, worldly
level. At a higher level, that of attaining spiritual happiness, He also states
that not following the scriptures will mean that we do not attain the
Supreme Abode (paraam gatim). The path to Paramapadam – Paraam
gatim - is paved with the bricks of the shaastra vidhaanams.

The most important do or not to do dilemma that we face daily has to do


with speaking the truth. We all know that we must speak the truth. This is
the basis on which any civil society operates. We all raise our right hands
and promise to speak the truth and nothing but the truth in a court of law.
And, we say, “So help me God.” Outside the court of law, in everyday life,
the question still arises as to what truths should be spoken. We know some
truths are unpleasant. Let us say that someone you know, someone who is
dear to you, is having an affair. You find out about it. Do you now go and
tell his or her spouse? Do you have a duty to speak the truth in this
example?

Or, you find out that your dear brother is gay. Do you now go and tell your
very orthodox parents? What if this dear brother, about whose sexual
preference you had known when he was alive, is now dead? Should you
now go and tell this “truth” to your aged parents and devastate them?

These are not easy questions to answer. And, so it is best that we follow
Krishna’s advise and seek some answers from our scriptures. The following
is a compilation of some emails that I have shared with our Gita study
groups, over the years, on this topic that has always been dear to me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: V Lamanan (vlaxmanan@hotmail.com)


Sent:Tue 5/17/11 12:39 PM

The great Schwarzenegger-Shriver divorce

Dear All:

This morning, as I was reading the main news items, I was reminded of an
important Sanskrit sloka, which the revered Shankaracarya of Kanchi,
discusses very early in his teachings which have been compiled and
published as Arul Urai, and also known recently as Daivatthin Kural (The
Voice of the Divine Sage). Its source is attributed to the Vedas (the Manu
Smriti). It goes as follows.

http://sanskritvoice.com/2007/02/20/how-to-express-the-truth/
http://www.advaita.org.uk/discourses/definitions/dharma.htm
http://www.romapadaswami.com/node/2894?page=1
Satyam bruyat priyam bruyat l
Na bruyat satyam apriyam ll
Priyam ca naanrutam bruyat l
Esha dharmah santanahaa ll

Satyam brooyaat priyam brooyaat - speak the truth, speak the pleasant
Na brooyaat satyam apriyam - never speak the unpleasant truths
Na ca brooyaat priyam anrutam - and, also never speak the pleasant
untruths

It is not always satyam eva jayate - the famous motto of India, i.e., Bharat.
Satyam without priyam is not recommended. Even Krishna says, in chapter
17 verse 15, that austerity in speech (austerity = tapas, i.e., something that
has been accomplished after a deal of soul searching and effort) comprises
speech that is truthful (satyam) and pleasant coupled with noble intentions
(priya hitam) and which does not agitate others (anudvegakaram).

Anudvega karam vaakyam satyam priya hitam ca yat l 17.15

One does not have to go to the forest, or sit on top of some mountain, or
torture the body by starving it etc., to perform tapas, or austerities. Many
kinds of austerities are described in chapter 17, just as many kinds of
yagnyas are described in chapter 4. When we obey the code of conduct as
described in these verses, we are indeed performing tapas, like the great
rishis did in the olden days.

How sad that Mr. Schwarzenegger did not learn this! After splitting up with
his wife of 25 years, now he wants to speak the truth about what triggered
the split. Anudvegakaram vaakyam.. that is what he has falied to do with
his so-called admission of the truth. Sad it is, since the woman in question
refused to acknowledge Mr. Truth as the father of her child in question.
Looks like she knew something Mr. Truth still has to learn. There is no priya
hitam here and the lady knows that. Even Maria Shriver seems to know
better.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110517/ap_on_en_mo/us_schwarzenegger_
shriver_separation#mwpphu-container

May be we can all learn too about when to keep our mouths sealed shut!
Satyam eva jayate, true. But, which truth? When and how? May be DSK
(Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the IMF head who is now in jail in NYC) will
provide some interesting insights. Who said learning Gita cannot be fun
and applicable to real life?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/imf_head_assault

Please feel free to share your thoughts here with the group on these topics
of interest (may be puerile!).

Very sincerely

V. Laxmanan

*************************************************************************************
Advise column by Prudie
From: V Laxmanan (vlaxmanan@hotmail.com)
Sent:Tue 10/26/10 10:07 AM

Dear All:

Here are two examples from a recent column by Prudie, whose advice is
sought by many people. One is about a man who has announced his
engagement to a woman who is constantly making fun of him (in a mean
way) in front of his friends. He says he is happy with her but his friends are
concerned. Should they speak up?

The other is even more sad. A woman says she was raped by her own
husband in the middle of the night and is seeking advice. She is afraid of
sleeping in her own bed and she started doing something.... read on.

http://www.slate.com/id/2272287/

Please try to assess the two situations that Prudie was asked to counsel
recently within this framework of our scriptural teachings. And do share ur
thoughts. Many readers comment on Prudie's advice, especially if they
disagree with her.

Very sincerely

V. Laxmanan

*************************************************************************************

http://www.saibaba.org/newsletter4-15.html

As we see here, life is difficult and sometiems puts us in very tough


situations. Sometimes the truth hurts. Can we speak the unpleasant
truths? Anudvega karam vaakyam, satyam priya hitam ca yat, says
Krishna in Bhagavad Gita (see below, Chapter 17, verse 15). Our speech
should not agitate others (anudvega karam), it should be truthful (satyam)
and also well meaning (priya hitam). All three ingredients are important.

Satyam eva jayate - something many of us have learnt growing up since it


is the national motto of India, i.e., Bharat. Are there exceptions to speaking
the truth? This is also revealed in the famous sloka

Satyam brooyaat Priyam brooyaat


Na brooyaat satyam apriyam
Na ca brooyaat priyam anrutam
One should speak (brooyaat) the truth (satyam),
one should speak that which is pleasant (priyam)
But do not speak the unpleasant truths (satyam anrutam)
One should also not speak pleasant untruths (priyam anrutam)

The unpleasant truths should NOT be spoken. We can speak the truth, but
as Krishna says, the motive should be hitam - i.e., one filled with good
intentions. Please try to assess the two situations that Prudie was asked to
counsel recently within this framework of scriptural teachings. And do
share ur thoughts. Many readers comment on Prudie's advice, especially if
they disagree with her.

*************************************************************************************
http://www.geetham.net/forums/showthread.php?40033-Satyam-Bruyat-
Priyam-Bruyat-Na-Bruyat-Satyam-Apriyam

http://sevateams.com/blog/sanathana-dharma-or-perennial-philosophy-0

http://www.asitis.com/ (Translation by Srila Prabhupada)

Chapter 17 The Divisions of Faith

TEXT 15

न च l

न च प ll

anudvega-karam vakyam
satyam priya-hitam ca yat
svadhyayabhyasanam caiva
vang-mayam tapa ucyate
SYNONYMS

anudvega--not agitating; karam--producing; vakyam--words; satyam--


truthful; priya--dear; hitam--beneficial; ca--also; yat--which; svadhyaya--
Vedic study; abhyasanam--practice; ca--also; eva--certainly; vang-mayam--
of the voice; tapah--austerity; ucyate--is said to be.

TRANSLATION

Austerity of speech consists in speaking truthfully and beneficially


and in avoiding speech that offends. One should also recite the Vedas
regularly.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Tiger Woods scandal


From: vlaxmanan@hotmail.com
Subject: Anudvega karam vaakyam

Date: Tue, 15 Dec 2009 17:07:56 +0000

Dear All:

Even if you are not an expert on the Bhagavad Gita, or the scriptures,
common morality seems to prohibit most people from speaking the
unpleasant truths.

The situation with Tiger Woods is a good example. Many of golf's seniors
and legendary players have refused to address this matter, even with NO
COMMENT. This tells us that we must be careful even with the truth.
Sometimes, it is best not to speak the truth - especially if it is hurtful.

Anudvega karam vaakyam, satyam priya hitam ca yat, says Krishna in


Bhagavad Gita (see below, Chapter 17, verse 15).

Our speech should not agitate others (anudvega karam), it should be


truthful (satyam) and also be well meaning (priya hitam). All three
ingredients are important.

Satyam eva jayate - meet Tiger Woods - there are clearly exceptions to
speaking the truth. This is also revealed in the famous sloka

Satyam brooyaat Priyam brooyaat


Na brooyaat satyam apriyam
Na ca brooyaat priyam anrutam

One should speak (brooyaat) the truth (satyam),


one should speak that which is pleasant (priyam)
But do not speak the unpleasant truths (satyam anrutam)
One should also not speak pleasant untruths (priyam anrutam)

*************************************************************************************

Chapter 17. The Divisions of Faith

TEXT 15

anudvega-karam vakyam
satyam priya-hitam ca yat
svadhyayabhyasanam caiva
vang-mayam tapa ucyate

SYNONYMS

anudvega--not agitating; karam--producing; vakyam--words; satyam--


truthful; priya--dear; hitam--beneficial; ca--also; yat--which; svadhyaya--
Vedic study; abhyasanam--practice; ca--also; eva--certainly; vang-mayam--
of the voice; tapah--austerity; ucyate--is said to be.

TRANSLATION

Austerity of speech consists in speaking truthfully and beneficially


and in avoiding speech that offends. One should also recite the Vedas
regularly.

Extract from news article:

Tiger should seek advice from game's legends

It doesn't matter that Sifford had no interest in speaking to a reporter, just


as it doesn't matter that Jack or Arnie or so many other legends of the
game have chosen to remain mum on the world's latest hot-button issue,
eschewing opportunities to advise the current No. 1 player through the
media.

None of it matters because going public with such thoughts benefits


neither party, instead providing a built-in barrier to the communication
process.

The rest of the article may be found here:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/blog/index?entryID=4743794&name=sobel
_jason

Very sincerely

V. Laxmanan

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