親職 Parenting 01 v1-T

Parenting & Teens Development

Enable Children to Fly High!
Personal Development Monthly for parents & teachers
01
?
Do You Know Your Parenting Style?
By Photos8.com

p4 p10 p16 p21 P28
Parenting & Teens Development is a free monthly e-magazine in

Personal Development, serving the needs of parents and teachers in continuous growth and development. Today, let us effectively support our childrens growth and development, enable them to fly high in the even more challenging tomorrow, to be their own leader in life, to achieve their goals and to live fulfilling life. Contents
p4 p10 p16 p21 p28
Do You Know Your Parenting Style? More Effective Communication with Children Part 1 - They need the truth with love A Simple Key to Dissolving Parent-Child Power Struggles How to Deal with a Lying Teen? Training Your Child for Success
service@trans4mind.hk
Share this magazine with friends, so we are enabling more children to fly high. Subscribe to the Free Parenting & Teens Development Monthly, send subscribe to Parenting to : service@trans4mind.hk
Editor : Tim Lam

Published jointly by
info@trans4mind.hk www.trans4mind.hk
info@qmcon.com www.qmcon.com
trans4mind.hk
info@trans4mind.hk www.trans4mind.hk
Quickmind Consultancy & Training

info@qmcon.com www.qmcon.com
Copyright trans4mind.hk

(p.27)

? (p.5)
Like all parents, she could not help passing her attitude to her kids. But hers was a "loser's" attitude Edith grew up with the feeling that other people are better than her, and she is inferior.
~ Training Your Child for Success (p.27)
Where Do You Need Work as a Parent? Need to modify your parenting style? Start today!
~ Do You Know Your Parenting Style? (p.5)
Parenting - Enable Children to Fly High!
?
Do You Know Your Parenting Style?
Dr. Thomas Phelan
, - ,
Want to be a better parent? Knowing what your current parenting style is will help you identify your needed areas for improvement. Promoting the self-discipline and self-esteem of the children in your family often requires an emotional juggling act by you as a parent. It is not easy to be firm and demanding with a child one minute, then warm and affectionate the next. This is an ongoing education process both for the parent and for the child. In addition, many adults naturally have personalities or temperaments that predispose them toward one parenting style or another.
By Photos8.com
, , , , Authoritarian Parenting
Parents who tend to overemphasize the discipline side of the equation are referred to as authoritarian. Authoritarian parents are demanding in the worst sense of the word. They are intimidators, requiring obedience and respect above all else. They become overly angry and forceful when they dont get that obedience and respect. Their love and acceptance appear totally conditional to the child. They do not teach or listen to their kids or explain the reason for their expectations, which are frequently unrealistic. They often see their childrens individuality and independence as irrelevant or threatening. Research has shown that authoritarian parents tend to produce children who are more withdrawn, anxious, mistrustful and discontented. These children are often overlooked by their peers. Their self-esteem is often poor.
the worlds premier platform in Personal Development learning. We provide services in English, French, Germany, Spanish, Hungarian, Arabic, Hindi & Chinese, serving our needs in growth of wisdom and soul, fulfillment & peace! www.trans4mind.hk
, ,
Permissive Parenting
Parents who overemphasize the self-esteem side of the equation are referred to as permissive. They may be warm and supportive, but they are not good disciplinarians even in the privacy of their own home. They make only weak demands for good behavior and they tend to avoid or ignore obnoxious behavior. They seem to believe that children should grow up without any anger, tears or frustrations. They reinforce demanding and inconsiderate behavior from their children and often find it easier to just give in to their child's demands. Their love and acceptance are unconditional in the worst sense of the word, for they set few rules or limits on what their children do. Research has shown that permissive parents tend to produce children who are more immature, demanding and dependent. These children are often rejected by their peers. Their self-esteem is often unrealistic and hard to interpret, for they often blame others for their problems and misfortunes.

info@qmcon.com
By Photos8.com
We are more than delight to support charities and NGOs in promoting their social services. Please contact us. Quickmind Consultancy & Training info@qmcon.com
The Authoritative Parenting Model

Parents who are able to provide for both the discipline and self-esteem needs of their youngsters are referred to as authoritative. They clearly communicate highbut not unrealisticdemands for their childrens behavior. They expect good things from their kids and reinforce those things when they occur. They also tend to give more positive encouragement at the right places. When kids act up, on the other hand, authoritative parents respond with firm limits, but without fits of temper. They are warm, reasonable and sensitive to a childs needs. They are supportive of a childs individuality and encourage growing independence. Authoritative parents tend to produce competent children. These kids are more self-reliant, self-controlled, content and happy. They are usually accepted and well-liked by their peers and perform better in school. Their self-esteem is good and they report having a happier childhood experience overall. William Arthur Ward
The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.
Where Do You Need Work as a Parent?

Logic and research, then, support the idea that children need both firm discipline and emotional support to grow up psychologically healthy. After reading the descriptions of the parenting styles above, if you found that you leaned too much toward the demanding, authoritarian style, then you need to work on the warm, supportive side of parenting. You need to have more fun with your kids, listen better and dole out more praise. If on the other hand, you leaned too much toward the permissive style, you need to work on establishing clear rules, setting limits, and confronting obnoxious behavior. Need to modify your parenting style? Start today!
Positive Approach
www.trans4mind.hk
9 Other Contents
About Author Dr. Thomas Phelan is the best selling author of the 1-2-3 Magic parenting program, available in books, videos and DVD at http://www.parentmagic.com. A registered clinical psychologist and an internationally renowned expert on child discipline and Attention Deficit Disorder, Dr. Phelan's books also include 1-2-3 Magic for Teachers, Surviving Your Adolescents and All About Attention Deficit Disorder.
More Effective Communication with Children Part 1 - They need the truth with love A Simple Key to Dissolving Parent-Child Power Struggles How to Deal with a Lying Teen Training Your Child for Success
1-2-3 Magic parenting program1-2-3 Magic for Teachers, Surviving Your AdolescentsAll About Attention Deficit Disorder http://www.parentmagic.com
Do You Know Your Parenting Style? 2006 ParentMagic, Inc. ? trans4mind.hk
Translation Sponsor
HPMA Training Base

86-13711196256 / 86-20-82205558 http://traveL3.anyp.com hpjxwlb@126.com
a) b) c) d) e) www,trans4mind.hk
info@qmcon.com
10

More Effective Communication with Children (Part 1) : They need the truth with love
Robert Elias Najemy
[]
Today we are experiencing an ever-growing communication gap between parents, teachers and the children whom they are responsible for. Only through honest and sincere communication can we help our children to become honest, healthy and happy individuals. Some of the basic concepts of communication are repeated here with emphasis on communication with children. THE BASIS OF COMMUNICATION - The guidelines for effective communication with children are, of course, the same as those for communication between all human beings.
By Photos8.com
11
[] -

(1)
The basis of communication is the golden rule, "do to others as you would
like others to do to you". So we simply need to ask, "how we would like others to communicate with us?" Here are some thoughts: -
-
Heart-to-Heart Coach
(1) Honesty
We would all like honesty from all who communicate with us. No one likes being told lies. Nor do we like people to make up stories and excuses. We would like to hear the truth about what the other is thinking, feeling or doing. We feel safer, more able to cope with any situation when we know what we are dealing with. The same holds for our children. When we tell them lies, they feel insecure and distrustful of the world around them. They learn to tell lies. There can be no communication in such a case. Although the truth might not always be the easiest response, it is always the "soul- ution"
www.trans4mind.hk
12
(2)

(2) Be Reasonable
We all want logical reasoning and explanations from the person who is communicating with us. If he or she speaks in an irrational way, or says, "look it will simply be done this way and I have no intention of explaining to you why; do it that way because I said so, because I want it that way, although it seems illogical", we will not feel very happy. We will feel that the other has no interest in our needs or feelings. We will feel that he or she is not respecting us. This is the way our children feel when we give orders or make statements without explaining the reasons behind them. No child is too young to be spoken to with reason and logic. Even if he or she cannot grasp all the factors involved, he or she will at least feel respected. That is extremely important.
(3)

(3) Respect
Respect is absolutely essential in communication. We need to respect both ourselves and the other. That means that on the one hand, we do not suppress that which we want or feel, and on the other, we do not suppress the other. It also means that we do not shout at, criticize or demean the others with harsh words. We would not like to be talked to in this way. Children are even more sensitive and vulnerable to shouting and harsh words. Their self-image and sense of security are seriously undermined. Respect breeds respect. When we show respect to our children during their early years they will return this behavior in the later years. If we frequently criticize, blame, demean or speak down to them, we will find that during adolescence, this lack of respect will then be returned to us.
13
(4)

(4) Unconditional Acceptance

We all want to be loved. We want to know that the other person cares for us, accepts us. It is not necessary for them to agree with us or accept all that we do or believe. We can accept each other despite our differences. This kind of unconditional acceptance is essential for open, honest communication. If we feel that the other is going to get angry, reject us or nag me for something which we will tell him or her, then we will likely not communicate at all with that person. This is a situation children get into frequently. When we continuously criticize and advise our children, they gradually stop telling us what they are doing. They stop communicating, because whatever they will say will be criticized. Or they may start criticizing us. They start rejecting whatever we say. They may do this with words or with actions which symbolize rebellion, independence and rejection of our beliefs. Assurance that there will always be love and acceptance, whatever the one or the other may do, keeps the channel open for honest communication. We are talking about accepting the being and not every action which he or she may perform. This distinction is important. We can express our displeasure or disagreement concerning a particular belief or behavior, while still feeling love and acceptance for the child.
14
(5)

(5) Consistency
Our children look for consistency from their elders. When there is no consistency between words and actions, the basis of communication breaks down, because words have no meaning and they are empty.
(6)
/
(6) Two Way Communication

Communication is a two way process. We need to learn to speak and to listen. We do not like communicating with someone who talks continuously and does not allow us a chance to express ourselves. On the other hand, neither do we like it when we speak and the other does not respond. A balance is needed. Most of us need to learn to listen more. Children need a sounding board for their thoughts, discoveries and problems. If we are not capable of listening properly our children will close up and / or find someone else to talk with.
on next issue
More Effective Communication with Children
Part 2 : How we communicate now
15
Robert Elias Najemy is the author of over 600 articles, 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony and 20 books; sold over 100,000 copies. His book The Psychology of Happiness is available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html. You can download FREE articles and e-books and get guidance at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com
600 400 20 100,000 http://www.HolisticHarmony.com

They need the truth with love Robert Elias Najemy trans4mind.hk
Other Contents
? Do You Know Your Parenting Style? Translation Sponsor A Simple Key to Dissolving Parent-Child Power Struggles How to Deal with a Lying Teen Training Your Child for Success
- 100%
2479 1900 www.healthychoicehk.com
16
A Simple Key to Dissolving Parent-Child Power Struggles

Nicole MacKenzie
,
myheartfelthealing.com
Who is really "in-charge" in today's family? Do kids have too much power? Many parents today are overwhelmed when it comes to parenting. They find themselves constantly explaining, arguing and negotiating with their children. Parenting becomes frustrating and not much fun. The "quality time" is often spent in a power-struggle. Parents know they don't want to raise their children in an authoritarian, diminishing, character-crushing style. Yet, the "laissez faire" approach doesn't work either it results in spoiled self-centered kids. The more kids get to "run the show", the harder it actually is for them to be happy and satisfied. The harder it is for them to grow up to be productive responsible adults. Is there a middle ground? A way that works for both the parent and child? Yes, happily there is. But to understand how to effectively balance freedom and discipline requires a look at the roots of kids' power struggles.
, -
17
1-2 -- , ,
Children learn how to engage you into a power struggle by manipulating you with emotions (whining, pouting, tantrums, etc.). They push your "hot buttons". The goal of the manipulation game on the child's part is to see if you will engage emotionally with him it is a measuring device of power. Children usually start to test their power between 1-2 years of age. This is the same time they start to develop a sense of self. It is the time when they no longer look at the reflection in the mirror and see another baby -they now recognize the reflection as their own self. At this point they will object to what you say, not because of reasoning, but just because they can. They quickly find out what works and will continuously push for more and more. For example, if whining will eventually get them what they think they want they will increase the whining. If, over time, the whining keeps "working", this behavior develops into a habit and the child will start doing it unconsciously. The irony is that although the child is on the surface getting what they want, they become more and more demanding and eventually develop an ingrained attitude of unhappy dissatisfaction that is hard to break. Punishment is not the answer. Children are not bad or wrong for pushing and testing to see what they can get with their emotional manipulation games. They are just exploring, experimenting and learning about the world and their place in it.
18
, -
Children often are not even aware of the emotional games they are playing. They are simply modeling what they have seen on TV or what they've seen other kids do. The first step is to point it out to them and bring their awareness to it. Then you can explain that what they are doing "doesn't work" and explain the behavior you want instead. You must be gently firm but unwavering in your commitment. If you "give in", your child will simply learn that their game really does work after all they just need to whine louder (or cry harder, etc.) and keep at it longer. The real key is for you, the parent, to avoid getting emotionally hooked into the game - to observe the child's behavior in a non-judgmental way, and then respond appropriately instead of emotionally reacting. Once you "take it personally", your objectivity evaporates and everybody loses. The easiest way to stay out of this emotional quicksand is to shift into a mental attitude of curiosity. One of the biggest gifts you can give your child is to hold them accountable to their emotional impact on others. If done with curiosity and non-judgment IT WILL WORK. It takes the fight out of potential power-struggles and strengthens the child's emotional intelligence. Children learn how to control their emotions instead of having their emotions control them.
19
Certainly the Mom Has Fun Parenting! e-book is an excellent introduction to my program for teaching children and their parents emotional intelligence. [http://trans4mind.momhasfun.hop.clickbank.net] But there's no way around it... fundamental changes take time. I really want you to have awesome results with this system! For that I need a bit more of your time so we can go slowly and take just one small step at a time. By having a 120-day home study course, you get a very satisfying way of learning that creates the greatest and most long-lasting results: Mom Has Fun 12-Lesson Home Study Course [http://rulenumberone.com?rc=trans4mind]
coach@qmcon.com
Mom Has Fun Parenting! [http://trans4mind.momhasfun.hop.clickbank.net] Mom Has Fun 12-Lesson Home Study Course 120 [http://rulenumberone.com?rc=trans4mind]
A Simple Key to Dissolving Parent-Child Power Struggles Nicole MacKenzie trans4mind.hk Translation Sponsor
About our contents, should you have any query or need support in application, please send email to life coach.
Other Contents
? Do You Know Your Parenting Style? More Effective Communication with Children Part 1 - They need the truth with love How to Deal with a Lying Teen Training Your Child for Success
HPMA Training Base

86-13711196256 / 86-20-82205558 http://traveL3.anyp.com hpjxwlb@126.com
20
Financial Consultant
We look for entrepreneurial and top caliber candidates to join our professional team to offer all round financial solutions including financial planning, saving management, retirement management and childrens education fund to clients. We offer : * Monthly allowance plus attractive commission and performance bonus * Comprehensive training programs for professional advancement Successful candidates will enter into Career Representative Contracts with AIA Our well-structured career progression path offers fast-track advancement opportunities. Outstanding individuals will be promoted to management positions with 12 months. F.5 or above, preferably with relevant experience. Candidates with higher qualification will be offered Associate Financial Planner / Financial Planner. Submit your application to U-AC-ASKEL : By email : kelvinshum@aiab.com.hk Contact : Mr Kelvin Shum at 9177-9997 Authorized Representative of American International Assurance Company (Bermuda) Limited (AIA) All information provided by applicants will be treated in strict confidence and used for recruitment purpose only. reserves the right to modify the terms and conditions of package offered. AIA
21
How to Deal with a Lying Teen

Megan Devine
17 guardian.co.uk
"My 17 year old son lies all the time," a mother said to me recently. "He lies about his schoolwork, what he ate for lunch and whether or not he's brushed his teeth. He also exaggerates to make his stories more dramatic or to make himself sound bigger. It's come to the point where I don't take anything he says at face value. He's not a bad kid, but I just don't understand why he lies so often, especially when telling the truth would be easier. What should I do?" Dealing with lying is frustrating and confusing for many parents. Unfortunately, teens and pre-teens often lie or tell only part of the truth. James Lehman explains that kids lie for many reasons: to cover their tracks, to get out of something they don't want to do, and to fit in with their peers. Sometimes kids tell white lies to protect other people. I've heard my stepson claim a "bad connection" while speaking to a relative on the phone, rather than simply telling them, "I don't want to talk right now." When asked, he says he doesn't want to hurt that person's feelings by saying he wanted to get off the phone. Simply put, it was just easier to lie.
22
Some teens develop the habit of telling half-truths or exaggerating about things that seem completely irrelevant or unnecessary. They might think it will get them what they want, or get them out of a sticky situation. Like many adults, kids can also be less than honest at times because they think the truth isn't interesting enough. They may lie as a way to get attention, to make themselves seem more powerful or attractive to others, to get sympathy or support, or because they lack problem-solving skills.
Lying about Risky or Dangerous Behavior

It's important to differentiate here between lies that cover up for drug use or other risky behavior, as opposed to "every day lies" that some teens tell just as a matter of habit or convenience. Make no mistake, lying that results in, or covers for, unsafe or illegal behavior must be addressed directly. If your child is lying about things that might be dangerous, involving drug or alcohol use, stealing, or other risky behavior, seek resources and support in your local community.
23
Why Doesn't My Child Care that Lying is Wrong?

Adolescence is such a tough time: trying to fit in, feeling unfairly judged or limited, wanting to be seen as powerful even while you feel completely powerless. Teens and pre-teens are navigating some pretty challenging waters. For some, lying can seem like an easy way to deal with the stress of being a teenager. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology, an occasional fib from a child is nothing to get too concerned about. Chronic dishonesty and exaggeration, on the other hand, should be addressed - but maybe not in the ways you think.
We talk with many people on the Parental Support Line who feel that lying is a moral issue. But even so, as James advises, treating it that way is not likely to help solve the problem. When your child tells a lie, giving a lecture about why it's wrong is probably not going to help them change their behavior. Most of the time, they're tuning out our words of wisdom anyway! On the other hand, if you feel that your child is making a habit of lying, you need to acknowledge what you see happening. Open a discussion with them and find out what problem they are trying to solve. Are they trying to avoid trouble? Do they think it's easier to lie than to risk hurting someone else? Do they believe that saying something dishonest helps them fit in? When they answer you, listen to what they have to say carefully.
24
#1

When Kids Lie to Get out of Trouble

In The Total Transformation Program (#1), James Lehman points out that most kids lie because it's expedient--it seems like the best decision at that time. Once you understand what your child is hoping to gain from lying, you can help them come up with a better problem-solving strategy. If your child is being untruthful to get out of trouble--for example, telling you that they took out the trash when they really didn't--clearly state the rules of your house, and the consequences for breaking those rules. Remind them that they don't have to like the rules, but they do need to comply with them. You might also tell your child that if they break a rule and lie about it, there will be a separate consequence for lying.
info@qmcon.com
25

#1: The Total Transformation Program : [http://www.thetotaltransformation.com/?pcode=affiliate0206&utm_medium=webaffl&utm_so urce=affiliate0206&dsource=sas]
By photos8.com
Connected to the people who are committed to excellence in life!
Quickmind Consultancy & Training info@qmcon.com
26
Exaggerating and Lying for the Sake of Lying

If your child isn't simply lying to keep out of trouble, you might have to dig a little deeper to find out what's going on. Start by saying, "I notice that you often lie about things that seem strange to me. For example, when I asked you where the phone was, you said 'I don't know, I don't have it,' and then I found it in your room. You wouldn't have been in trouble if you'd told the truth. Can you tell me why you lied about it?" If your child is exaggerating a story, you might ask, "I was interested in your story, and then it seemed like you started to add things to it that weren't true. Can you tell me why you decided to do that?" Now I realize you may not get a great answer from your child. From some teens, a shrug is the best response you can hope for. But by acknowledging the lie without moralizing or lecturing, you are sending a powerful message to your child that being dishonest won't get them what they want. You are also letting them know that you are aware of the fact that they were being less than truthful. Kids often don't understand how hurtful lies can be. Still, you need to remind them that not knowing doesn't make it okay. Start a discussion with your child about honesty and dishonesty, and why they choose to lie. And remember, focus on the problem your child is trying to solve instead of on the morality of lying. You may not be able to stop your teen from creating those every day lies, but you can send the message that there are other options available. Now, All kinds of organizations; firms, NGOs, schools
can have
their own internal magazines
#1: The Total Transformation Program : [http://www.thetotaltransformation.com/?pcode=affiliate0206&utm_medium=webaffl&utm_source=affiliate02 06&dsource=sas]
27
"How Dare You Lie to Me!" is reprinted with permission from The Total Transformation Program for parents. [http://www.thetotaltransformation.com/?pcode=affiliate0206&utm_medium=webaffl&utm_so urce=affiliate0206&dsource=sas] This program offers practical, real world solutions for the most challenging problems parents face: defiance, disrespect, back talk, lying, cursing, lack of motivation, acting out in school and more. In this step-by-step program you'll learn the techniques James has used in his private practice to help children take responsibility for their behavior and help parents get back in control of their homes. Megan Devine, LCPC, is a Parental Support Line Specialist and writer. She holds a Masters degree in Counseling from Antioch New England and a Master of Fine Arts from Goddard College. Megan has been in the counseling field for over 10 years. She has a children's career book in pre-publication, and has several other books in the works.
Translation Sponsor
- 100%
2479 1900 www.healthychoicehk.com
[http://www.thetotaltransformation.com/?pcode=affiliate0206&utm_medium=we baffl&utm_source=affiliate0206&dsource=sas] 10
How to Deal with a Lying Teen Megan Devine trans4mind.hk
Other Contents
? Do You Know Your Parenting Style? More Effective Communication with Children Part 1 - They need the truth with love A Simple Key to Dissolving Parent-Child Power Struggles Training Your Child for Success
28
Training Your Child for Success

Esther Andrews
Sometimes you meet people (of all ages) that are successful at everything they do. Whatever they touch, whatever they attempt, success is theirs. Others have to struggle and work much harder to achieve success, and yet others don't achieve success at all. What is it, that the "always successful" people have, that the others don't?
By photos8.com
29
SELF CONFIDENCE.
I often have conversations with children about their goals and objectives, and often I hear young children say to me, "I am not very smart", or "I don't think that I can achieve this." How did a young child get to this opinion of themselves, so early in life? A child that has low self esteem stands the chance of failing. Self confidence, a "can do" approach that's what we want our children to develop, so that they succeed in life. It's a known saying, that whatever you think about yourself - is true. If you think that you can do - you are right. If you think that you can't - you are right! I like to say that a person is only worth what he thinks he is worth. In other words, if you think that you can achieve success in a project, you will do your best, but if you don't think you can, you will not even attempt it, and never find out if you would be successful at it or not. So how do we instill a "can do" mentality in our children? This starts very early in life! Believe it or not, your baby, when trying to achieve his first achievements in life: turning over, smiling, sitting up, standing up, making the first steps, saying the first words, is already getting feedback from his environment, and especially from you. Throughout our child's growing up years, we provide feedback about who they are, and what they are worth. We can't help it; we teach them how we feel about these issues ourselves.
30
Most of us celebrate our baby's first steps, provide encouragement and support. But after the first year or two, we need to remember to go on and keep encouraging and supporting. I'd like to shed some light on this issue, by giving an example: Ruth, who was a great mother, a unique and talented person, did not get support in her home. When she was growing up, her parents provided the best education to her brother, but did not bother to send Ruth to a good school and to college, because she was a girl, and she was supposed to get married and be supported by a husband. Ruth grew up, feeling inferior. Like all parents, she could not help passing her attitude to her kids. But hers was a "loser's" attitude. I know that Ruth was not aware of the affect of what she was doing on her children, but she always compared her children to other kids, or other people, who always did better. For example, "Look at Michael, he is so talented and smart, always gets the best grades." "I wish I was a good a business person as Paul, he always manages his business wisely, but we are not that smart, and always make bad decisions and choices." In a very subtle way, almost not noticeable, she would react in a very surprised way, when her children achieved excellence in school. Edith came home one day, with an award, for being the best reader in her class. Yes, Ruth celebrated it, of course! She was very happy for Edith. But at the same time, she acted somewhat surprised! "You? How wonderful!" and Edith, as all smart children, also heard the subtle undertones, the unsaid words, "I would never
31
expect it!" Edith grew up with the feeling that other people are better than her, and she is inferior. If we want our children to be successful, we have to make sure we give them a very clear message: "You can do it." With everything we do, we must expect them to succeed. Never give your child the feeling that you doubt his ability. That you doubt that he will succeed. Listen to the way you talk to your child, and catch every sentence that could be interpreted as doubt.
ASSUME SUCCESS
If your child stumbled, and did not achieve the maximum success in an assignment - offer support. Don't criticize! Your child faces enough criticism in his everyday life, from peers, teachers...you want to offer support. Make sure your child knows that you are on his side, and most important - that you believe in him.
EXPECT SUCCESS
If you expect success, your child will learn to expect success too. Many parents (and teachers) are concerned about stressing a child out. So they don't encourage him to succeed, they accept mediocrity. I don't suggest putting stress on a child. I suggest encouraging a child to excel. Make clear to your child that it's possible to excel, and that he can succeed. Don't judge or criticize, just make it clear you know your child can succeed. If needed, assist your child and support.
32
COME FROM A PLACE OF POWER

This point is very hard to teach: come from a place of power, not from a place of a victim. Teach your child to take responsibility for the results. Your child can achieve success. The results depend on him. How do you teach that? Teaching a child that he is the one who determines what happens in his life, provides a feeling of control and power. Don't do what Ruth did: "We have such a bad luck, every time we invest in the stock market - the stock market crashes." This is a victim approach. If Ruth decided to take the risk of investing in the stock market, do her research and make her decisions, she needs to take responsibility and simply say: "I made a mistake, I need to learn from it." Teach your child that it's alright to make mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes. Mistakes are simply feedback for us to learn what works and what doesn't. If your baby touched the stove and experienced the pain of burning his finger, provide comfort, and simply say "hot." Your child will learn the lesson. If your child comes home from school disappointed, because something did not go his way, first provide support and comfort, then help him draw the conclusion: what is he going to do differently the next time?
33
02
6 14

By photos8.com
PERSISTENCE
Teach your child persistence. Encourage your child not to give up. This is not easy, so the technique I suggest for this is story telling. Story telling has a similar affect to hypnosis on children. Find children's books or stories about people who persisted, and achieved, despite adversity. These stories are very uplifting and motivating.
info@qmcon.com
34
1.

TECHNIQUES FOR SUCCESS: 1. Visualization

This is a technique that helps with motivation. It is a known fact that successful athletes visualize themselves going through their routine in a perfect way, before they actually perform in a competition. Teach your child how to visualize his success. Children have active and strong imagination, and it is easy for them to visualize. You can "talk your child through" a visualization. The best time to do this is at the end of the day, when your child is ready to go to bed. You can plan the next day, talk about the assignments and ask your child to tell you how it will feel to perform the assignments with great success. This way you encourage your child to visualize his success, and it will motivate and encourage him. Ask your child to describe what he needs to do to succeed in detail, this will encourage your child to plan ahead, and visualize the steps he has to go through, in order to achieve success. Get into the habit of doing that. You will help your child tremendously.
35
2.

2. Affirmations
This is a technique that is used often for adults, too. It can be very helpful to your child. You can plan the affirmations and write them down. Affirmations can be very effective, and you can say them to your child. Take a few minutes each day, to sit and think what affirmations you want to use that day. Please don't think that you cannot apply this technique to babies. Babies understand so much more than we know - you can definitely start using this technique at an early age. What is your child working on? "You are very smart, and you are getting smarter every day," is a good affirmation on any day. It has shown that affirmations are more effective if said 3 times. So you can make sure that you say each affirmation 3 times.
Say affirmations always in a positive way, in the present tense. For example: "You are very strong and resilient." When your child is learning to ride a bike, or play a sport, you can say to him: "You have a great coordination, and your coordination is getting better every day." A very well know affirmation is, "Every day, in every way, you are getting better, better and better." Whatever your child is engaged with at the time, you can put together an affirmation that is appropriate, and say it to your child. If you can get the child to say it to himself, or to repeat it, that is even better. Affirmations are a great tool to increase self esteem.
36
Hope I gave you a few ideas. Please choose the ones that feel right to you, and try them out. Please share with me the results you observe: email Esther Andrews [mailto:esther@all-gifted-children.com]. Esther Andrews has grown 2 highly gifted children, and managed the "School of Gifted Education" for many years. In her newsletter, "Develop Your Child's Genius" she shares her experiences and provides information about fun and easy activities you can do with your children, to develop their intelligence in a few minutes a day. To subscribe, go to: www.all-gifted-children.com [http://trans4mind.qandrews02.hop.clickbank.net]
Translation Sponsor
HPMA Training Base

86-13711196256 86-20-82205558 http://traveL3.anyp.com hpjxwlb@126.com
esther@all-gifted-children.com 2 Develop Your Child's Genius Develop Your Child's Genius www.all-gifted-children.com
Training Your Child for Success Esther Andrews trans4mind.hk
Other Contents
? Do You Know Your Parenting Style? More Effective Communication with Children Part 1 - They need the truth with love A Simple Key to Dissolving Parent-Child Power Struggles How to Deal with a Lying Teen
37
By photos8.com
9-16 5 12-16 5
(1) (2) (3)
Cover

親職 Parenting 01 v1-T

Uploaded by

Document Information

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

親職 Parenting 01 v1-T

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development is a free monthly e-magazine in

p4 p10 p16 p21 p28

Editor : Tim Lam

Quickmind Consultancy & Training

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting - Enable Children to Fly High!

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

The Authoritative Parenting Model

Parenting & Teens Development

Where Do You Need Work as a Parent?

Parenting & Teens Development

HPMA Training Base

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

(4) Unconditional Acceptance

Parenting & Teens Development

(6) Two Way Communication

More Effective Communication with Children

Part 2 : How we communicate now

Parenting & Teens Development

600 400 20 100,000 http://www.HolisticHarmony.com

Parenting & Teens Development

A Simple Key to Dissolving Parent-Child Power Struggles

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

HPMA Training Base

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

How to Deal with a Lying Teen

Parenting & Teens Development

Lying about Risky or Dangerous Behavior

Parenting & Teens Development

Why Doesn't My Child Care that Lying is Wrong?

Parenting & Teens Development

When Kids Lie to Get out of Trouble

Parenting & Teens Development

Connected to the people who are committed to excellence in life!

Quickmind Consultancy & Training info@qmcon.com

Parenting & Teens Development

Exaggerating and Lying for the Sake of Lying

Quickmind Consultancy & Training info@qmcon.com

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

Training Your Child for Success

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

COME FROM A PLACE OF POWER

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

TECHNIQUES FOR SUCCESS: 1. Visualization

Parenting & Teens Development

Parenting & Teens Development

HPMA Training Base