Carlton Chronicle, February/March 2003

the official organ of the

Carlton Dramatic Society

Free where sold

A RAW-ING SUCCESS!
Official: They were making it up as they went along
Review: ................................... Kristen Bowditch "Improv" - the very word strikes terror into the hearts of actors everywhere, so why would any performer pick at the scabs of script and rehearsal until they are left with the raw festering wounds of devised drama? Well that was the question on the lips of the audience of Raw Theatre as they settled down anticipating an evening the like of which hadn't been seen since the Lions 500 Christians 0 two factions fighting to the improvisational death until only one team was left standing, victorious. First into the fray were the Improv Imbibers (II), consisting of Jeff Graves, Vince Lewer and Katy Hebbourn and ably shepherded by Arabella Butler. Second up were My Other Hat is a Balaclava, featuring Julia Boggio, Richard Broughton, Zo LeFevre and captained by Ian Ward. Steering the good ship Raw through the choppy waters of audience participation was housewife's choice, MC Matthew Petty. Dressed to the nines in a purple taffeta ball gown from Snatches of Bond Street, he treated the audience to his own vocal stylings of The Theme from the Muppet Show whilst Michael "Maestro" Ahmad tinkled on the ivories in the corner (they really need to get the men's toilets at the community centre fixed). Moving furniture and generally monkeying around were the James Derbyshire and Aubs Tredget, and last but certainly not least were the people who held the future hopes and dreams of the two improvisational teams in their hands, the jury...Kathy Arundel, Carl Whiteside and special guest juror from The Cygnets, Jeff Raggett. And then they were off. The first round, Modern Fairytales challenged the brave extemporisers to tell a traditional fable in the style of a modern film genre. II threw themselves into a deeply moving rendition of Snow White in the style of a martial arts movie replete with bad dubbing, whilst Balaclava treated us to Aladdin and the Forty Cowpokes western style. Highlights for this reviewer were Ian 'Aladdin Sane' Ward's 'third leg' and Katy's retelling of the Snow White legend Crouching Tiger style. Second course in the audio visual feast was a game involving props. Two blindfolded members of the team improvised a dialogue while their compatriots mimed the action with the aid of the props box. Everything from feather boas to tennis rackets worked their way into the performance, but it was Arabella's striking performance as "Doctor attending Man superglued to piano" which really had the audience in stitches. Next up, and rather flying in the tradition of the Improvisators' coda was The Actor's Nightmare, you know the score, you're on stage, ready to give your public the theatrical experience of their lives, but the opening lines are spoken and you realise with dawning horror that not only is everyone

In This Issue
~

Carlton Calendar
Dates for your diary ~

The Probe
Another member reveals all ~

Carlton Info
All you need to know ~

Wordsearch
A Belated Seasonal quiz! ~

Death Behind The Scenes

Part II The plot thickens

2 doing a completely different play to the one you've learnt, but that you are also standing their in your underwear wishing you had taken your mum's advice about always wearing clean pants in case you get hit by a car. Well that was the terrifying prospect facing our teams. One of the pair had a script whilst the other had to improvise a scene, completely in the dark as to what their partner would say next. The effect was rather like a car crash, as the audience rubbernecked their way through the proceedings, the cast of Raw rose to the challenge, with Richard and Zo's brilliant pairing with the script from Top Gun nudging just above the rest with their Carry On homage 'come into my cockpit and play with my joystick'. Then it was the interval and those audience members whose sides had split received medical attention from the St Johns Ambulance crew standing by. First up in the second half was anther musical moment from MC Petty, this time sporting harem pants. His rendition of Abbatastic classic Thank You for the Music had the audience in tears. And then it was time for some more melodious mayhem in the form of the singing round. The II's improvised a moving tale of a baker and his buns to the tune of The Do Ron Ron song, whilst the Balaclavas went south for the "12 bar Relationship blues". Even the jury couldn't decide between the

Carlton Chronicle, February/March 2003 two teams' thrilling trilling and awarded both top marks. Next up was Slide Show where three team members mimed a series of tableaux to a running commentary. It was Vince Lewer's educational offering of the first 10,000 years of human evolution which enthralled the audience in this round, special mention also goes to Jeff Graves' moving 'monkey man' which should secure him a role in the Planet of the Apes sequel. Then it was time for the last round and aptly it was Entrances and Exits. With the help of the audience suggesting prepositions (we would just like to point out to the smart Alecs in the audience grammatically speaking 'umm' is an interjection) the teams were given a word to represent and whenever this was spoken exited or entered the stage. Everyone involved did a sterling job, but high praise must go to Julia whose waters broke during the scene, but bravely carried on labouring. Finally it was time for the jury to tot up the points and declare the Balaclava's the winners by a hare's breath. But in this reviewer's mind every one who participated was a winner in creating this original and hugely entertaining seat of your pants theatrical experience. If you missed it, you missed out. KB

Step Forward Fausti!

As you will already know if you read the last couple of Chronicles, the Carltons Summer Production is a new contemporary adaptation of Dr & Mrs Faustus. See the Calendar on page 13 for the date and location of the auditions. Heres Mehmet to let you all know what he has in store. Take it away M.I

As January fades into the horizon and I am madly trying not to lose my job and to have the draft script ready by the end of February, brutal reality in the form of auditions is fast approaching. So, it's time for me to explain the procedure. I could ask everyone to read for parts, but given that no one apart from God and myself know the script (and he still has the upper hand!), that wouldn't be very helpful. I could always ask for actors interested in the play to do a couple of monologues - one from Shakespeare and another from a more contemporary author. That unfortunately is a long and tedious process, debilitating for the director and nerve-racking for the actors. And the only thing that it proves is that many people can commit

complex texts to memory. It gives little or no indication to the creative skills of the actors, their acting abilities or how a group of players can interact and interrelate. So, the most efficient and time effective way of ascertaining the required acting and symbiotic talents is through improvisations. I will use simple improvisational exercises to audition all those who want to take part in our adventure. After the Raw Theatre experience this will be child's play for Carlton members. I look forward to seeing as many of you as possible at the auditions. Oh, by the way I am also looking a person or persons of any size, shape, age or colour who can deliver a decent impersonation of George Bush, Tony Blair or the Pope.
So there you go Good Luck!

Carlton Chronicle, February/March 2003

Six Of The Best

The 2003 Workshops
Friday 28th February & Saturday 1st March Doors open 7.30pm, Show starts 7.45pm Entrance 5

Its on top of us! So without further ado here is what you can expect!
Alls Well That Ends As You Like It
By Michael Green, Directed by Carl Whiteside Hysteria, a Clown ............................Alison Raffan Pan, a God ....................................... Kate Mitchell Mud, Grot, Messenger......................... Claire Baty Friar .................................................... Robert Clay Duke ........................................... Andrew Candish Delia, his Daughter........................Arabella Butler Dracula, Delia's Nurse................. Belinda Thomas Frederigo ..........................................Mike Tierney Dronio, Delia's lover ........................... Jeff Graves This Michael Green play draws its inspiration from the comedies penned by our great Bard. We discover the misfortune of Frederigo's expulsion from the city and Dronio's desperation to be reunited with his love Delia. Full of over acting and hilarious (even if I do say so myself !!!) mishaps, the cast blunder their way through the production desperate to ensure that the audience didn't notice

Dear Diary
By Oscar Wilde, Directed by Val Foskett It looks like another boring country afternoon of German Grammar with her governess for Cecily. Who would have guessed that her Guardians wicked brother Ernest who lives in the town would call? And when Uncle Jack himself arrives, why is he so reluctant to shake hands? What she doesn't know is that 1) Jack hasn't got a brother, 2) he is himself the wicked Ernest who has been living riotously in the town and 3) the young man calling himself Ernest is Jacks friend Algy...

Miss Prism, the governess.................... Jane Lewis Cecily Cardew....................................Ruth Brooks Rev. Chasuble, the vicar ...............James Grayston Mrs Merriman, the housekeeper ..... Alison Raffan Algernon Montcrieff / Ernest......Andrew Candish Jack Worthing .................................. Simon Harris

Waiting For A Bus

Directed by Carl Whiteside Tony............................................................... Ian Ward Jane...................................................Kristen Bowditch Paul....................................................... Carl Whiteside

Carlton Chronicle, February/March 2003

The Last Supper

Performed by James Grayston Directed by Val Foskett

I dont know why she did it you cant tell with women, can you? La Maison Du Hector
Written & Directed by Sarah Hewitt Michael .................................................Carl Whiteside Mike ..................................................... Katy Hebbourn When Michael Hallison (male) meets Michael Hallison (female, no relation) interesting things are bound to happen. It's strange where meeting the love of your life can take you

In addition to these fantastic plays and pieces, theres going to be some fantastic musical interludes
Let a Sense of Wellbeing Prevail by Robert Clay Performed by the Company The Ballad of the Bard by Robert Clay Performed by Belinda Thomas and Arabella Butler Let The Show Commence Performed by the Company All That Jazz Performed by Kristen Bowditch A Little Bit Of Humour Performed by Ian Ward Hard Knock Life Performed by Arabella Butler, Penny Stone, Jane Lewis, Netty Piper, Ruth Brooks, Kate Mitchell & Georgina Gorham

Carlton Chronicle, February/March 2003

Video Killed The Carlton Star

And by that tortured reference to a Trevor Horn-produced 80s classic, you can tell this section is about videos.

Long time member Mike Tierney has been videoing the Carltons productions for a long time, and editing them into video masterpieces Eisenstein would have been proud of. Here is a list of the tapes Mike can reproduce at the drop of a hat. And some money. Remember that dreadful gaff you made in lasts years production? Remember how mortally embarrassed you were? Have you only just been able to live it down and look at yourself in the mirror? Well now you can relive that moment over and over again in glorious Technicolor and stereo sound! Each tape costs 3 (1 to cover tape and duplication costs, 2 to Carlton funds). Contact Mike with your order! If the video you want is not on the list, ask Mike and hell try to track down who has one and make you a copy.

Workshops 1997
Return Journey Shirley Valentine The Good Vagabond California Suite Between Mouthfuls)

Workshops 2001
Streuth Leaving the Mistress Low Level Panic Wife & Death Ginger The Graduate

A Woman of no Importance. The Merchant of Venice. Workshops 2000

Hot Chocolate Henry V Sure Thing The Universal Language 2x20 Finger Food Pippa sings Flanders & Swann

What the Butler Saw Macbeth Tis Pity shes a Whore. Much Ado about Nothing. The End of the Food Chain. Workshops 2002
Under Milk Wood The Mouse in the Fields Fur Better or Worse The Rehearsal Othello For Whom the Southern Belle Tolls

84 Charing Cross Road The Killing of Sister George The Hypochondriac

Trivial Pursuits.

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Continuing our theatrical thriller serial, we present

Carlton Chronicle, February/March 2003

DEATH BEHIND THE SCENES

By Toby Hardwood

Part II Locked
Timothys poise softened in view of such assertiveness. He stepped down and took a few hesitant steps towards her. I very much doubt there will be a performance tonight, Mrs Matthews, he spoke gravely. Its that serious. And as for entering the hall it is not so much my doing as circumstances. Circumstances? repeated Annie, the thought of cancelling the nights performance was so inconceivable it momentarily interrupted her stride. What circumstances could possible prohibit us from entering the hall? The latter was an easier concept to grasp. The doors, said Timothy softly. Appear to be locked from the inside. Annie did not speak, but held Timothy in a sharp but thoughtful gaze. Timothy felt a prickly heat rise on the back of his neck. Under normal circumstances he would have enjoyed being the sole subject of Mrs Matthews attention, but seeing what hed just seen had damped his flirtatious desire. Annies gaze drifted from Timothy to the auditorium door. After a moment her eyes settled on the black, ornate tin doorknob and cavernous keyhole beneath. With a side ways glance almost daring Timothy to try and stop her, she strode forward and grasped the knob, giving it a determined twist. The knob squeaked complicity as it turned back and forth but the heavy, oak wood door didnt so much as rattle in its frame as she tugged and pulled with all her might. Its locked, she said turning to face him. Yes, Timothy sighed. As are the front doors and the one to the old crypt. Is there anyone in there? she demanded. Yes, he said softly, eying the floor between them. Who is it then? Annie persisted. I cant tell. Its too dark to see them properly from the front of house window. Well, what are they doing? she demanded. Timothy swallowed but his mouth was dry. Slowly He raised his eyes to meet her interrogating gaze. Hanging Mrs Matthews, Timothy said grimly. Hanging.

No, please Mrs Matthews. I think it best you not go in there, Timothy Weston resisted the temptation to place his hands on the slender shoulders of the widow Mrs Annie Matthews. She was a delightfully forceful woman, not afraid to speak her mind or hold eye contact with a man. Well, with Timothy Weston at least. Now Mr Weston, Im a big girl. I doubt anything you have hidden in there could possibly surprise me, she arched her eyebrows to query his gentle protestations. She was glad shed chosen to wear her pink polo neck cardigan. It was a snug fit without being too revealing and Mr Weston, standing firm on the steps to the auditorium, was using this vantage point to full effect. As I say Mrs Matthews, insisted Timothy doing his darnedest to keep his eyes averted. Its a matter for the Police and I feel the fewer people enter the easier their job will be. Annie laughed softly. A stand of long, healthy sheen chestnut hair escaped the confines of her dainty, hand woven, woollen hat and fell gently to one side of her face. The hat was the same shade of pink as her cardigan. The dark, chocolate brown coat she wore was perched elegantly just off her shoulders, as Mr Westons uncharacteristic defiance had interrupted her in the process of disrobing. She stood eyeing him momentarily. The combined affect was to highlight the youthful colour in her cheeks that made her the envy of many of the societys sorority, those both her senior and her junior. Why Mr Weston, you sure do strike such a dramatic pose, she said in mocking Southern Belle. It can only be to the Societys detriment that you insist on remaining behind the scenes on every production, she turned her back to him, revelling in a momentarily smile and then let the coat fall from her shoulders. With a graceful swivel of her hips shed removed and hung the coat on the nearest hang rail. So, what is this matter of such magnitude, that necessitates a visit from the Police and bars we ladies from entering the hall? she turned and challenged him once again. I have much to do before tonights performance.

~
Tune in next month for the next exciting episode of DEATH BEHIND THE SCENES

Mehmet Izbudak
Hello, how are you? Did you enjoy Raw! Theatre?

Carlton Chronicle, February/March 2003 Mehmet is one of the Carltons most innovative directors, never afraid to take a risk in the name of theatre. As a result, the plays hes directed include some of the most avant garde works weve seen. Mehmets adaptation of the story of Faustus auditions in March.

I enjoyed it enormously it was great fun, and I was glad to see the WCC auditorium being used as a stage!

How long have you been a Carlton member?

About 8 years.

Were you in theatre before the Carlton?

Oh yes but its a very, very long story.

What Carlton productions have you been involved in?

Amadeus...........................................................................................................................................Director The Dream Play................................................................................................................................Director Lysistrata ..........................................................................................................................................Director The Visit ...........................................................................................................................................Director The Hypochondriac ..........................................................................................................................Director Tis Pity Shes a Whore.....................................................................................................................Director The Merchant of Venice........................................................................................ A forgettable cameo role

Which was your favourite?

I have several favourites, for different reasons. The Dream Play stretched both me and the actors in a way that most fringe or amateur productions would not have done it was intellectually satisfying. The Visit was a complete production it came together very well. For The Hypochondriac I really got into the translation and the adaptation it was great fun. Tis Pity had a very short rehearsal time, so it was very exciting and intense.

What was your most embarrassing theatre moment?

It was always others who were embarrassed!

Are you rehearsing at the moment? What for?

Not rehearsing, but preparing for the March auditions for Dr and Mrs Faustus.

Do you have any tips youve picked up about acting or directing?

As far as my acting is concerned - dont give up your day job. Directing is an ever increasing learning curve which is a good base for a directing workshop Id like to do

What are you wearing right now?

I would like to have said nothing, but unfortunately the answer is as follows. Blue and white striped shirt with matching boring blue tie, and a bland blend of grey trousers and navy blazer. Plus shoes.

So, er, anything planned for the weekend?

Are you asking or propositioning? Whichever, the answer is no, Ive got the finish the script for Faustus.

What do you do for a living?

Course Tutor this isnt the sexiest of jobs, so Im not explaining further in case no-one comes to the Faustus auditions!

What's your tipple?

A good red wine most times. A good beer in the summer. A Manhattan in a moment of extravagance. And anything barring meths in times of desperation.

Carlton Chronicle, February/March 2003

Last film you saw?

Anastasia. This proves Ive got kids.

First album you ever bought?

Abbey Road by the Beatles unfortunately it wasnt second hand!

Who would you want to play you in the film of your life story?
Either Jack Nicholson or Charlie Chaplin

Describe yourself in 3 words.

A total contradiction.

If you had to compare yourself to a cartoon character, which one would it be?
Homer Simpson with a university degree.

Do you have any dreams, hopes, aspirations?

Top of my litany is to direct a play of mine at the National Theatre. ~
If you have any nominations for someone to be subjected to The Probe, let the editor know at the usual address. One person will be chosen at random from the nominations. Those not chosen will be carried over.

IN BRIEF
Contributions to the Chronicle are always needed (I mean, youve read it). Anything from a suggestion or idea, to a photo, to a full articleall are welcome! Its your newsletter! (nice bit of buck-passing there). Contact the editor for details. Submissions for the Winter 2003 production are being taken by the committee now, so get thinking! Applications must be received by Wednesday 16th April. The decision will be made on 22nd April. Contact a member of the committee for details. If youre in any doubt read Jeffs story in this issue! Submissions for a 2003 rehearsed reading are being taken by the committee as well. The Workshops need people to help backstage and Front of House. Contact Carl Whiteside for details if you can help. Thank you!
Winter Festival Wordsearch
(answers on page 9)
VCXNOITSEGIDNISD ZHXALKASELTZERRN ANOITULOSERRCSTE XRLZJSNOWMANOPYR URELATIVESCCJLYD VWOPFQTSGUKYIYHL SANTACLAUSEMAWCI HAKUNAHCHKANSHNH STNESERPRFAWHNVC FWSKJWRUHMWPMAXP KMXCMUTAGDBOWYQJ STPBEEROEDALSBYO SQAEKWHPVTUDCXBE FAWAULDLANGSYNER ZGNIFFUTSWINEZJM UYHHCEEPSSNEEUQF

It wasnt my fault, obviously, but this Wordsearch was supposed PAY YOUR SUBS! to appear in the last edition of the CC. It didnt, which caused some Or these instruments will have to be used readers to do a fruitless Wordsearch Search. Here it is in all its out-of-season glory. See page 9 for the answers)

No. 37: The Syringe

Your subs keep the CDS alive do the right thing!

Carlton Chronicle, February/March 2003

The Carlton Dramatic Society Art & Craft Fair And Exhibition 2003
This will be happening hopefully in May at St Marks Church Hall in Wimbledon, and will be our next fundraiser. How can YOU take part? 1. Do you paint, draw, take photographs, do sculpture or carving, embroider, quilt, or do any other sort of craft not mentioned above? If so, you can be an exhibitor. You can choose whether the work is just to look at, or if it is for sale either way, wed be glad to include it. Are you going abroad between now and May? If so, bring back an extra souvenir to sell on our Round The World stall. Better if this is not expensive, as we want something that people who cant afford an original painting might buy, but try and make it something you cant get over here. Even if your trip is to Scotland or Wales or the West Country, you can still find something for this stall. And, OK, if someone has brought you back a souvenir you really hate, that will do too. Can you bake cakes or biscuits? We will have a refreshment stall, so anything like that would be very welcome to go with the tea and coffee. All else failing, please come to the Fair and look around for any upcoming birthday or wedding gifts, or for something to go on that blank wall or shelf. Youll be amazed at what an artistically talented bunch of people we have in the Carlton. And PLEASE, PLEASE tell your friends and persuade them to come too.

2.

3. 4.

What I need to know NOW from any potantial exhibitors is an idea of what you would like to exhibit, how many and what size and whether or not it will be for sale. E-mail or phone me and well talk about it. And a small reminder: we depend on our fundraisers to help defray the costs of hiring our rehearsal rooms. If you are thinking of giving this event a miss, then remember that either you annual subs will rise steeply or, worst case scenario, the Carlton could cease to exist. Hoping to hear from YOU soon! Val
Please contact Val if you can help in ANY way I for one will be making delicious buns! Get them before the Court Injunction comes into force!
Wordsearch answers: ALKASELTZER, AULDLANGSYNE BEER, CHANUKAH, CHILDREN FAMILY HOGMANAY, INDIGESTION, PRESENTS, QUEENSSPEECH, RELATIVES, RESOLUTION, SANTACLAUS, SLADE SNOWMAN, SOCKS, STUFFING, TURKEY, WINE

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Theatrical societies often end up being the last refuge for many desperate characters. In a new series, we lift the lid on the chequered past of some of the Carltons more infamous members, in

Carlton Chronicle, February/March 2003

My Bizarre Double Life

This prog - Leigh-Don Macduff on ADAM CAIN One day a middle aged, wheelchair-bound American lady beckoned him up from the crew deck into forbidden territory and sent him on an errand to buy cigarettes. Adam knew the rule but also knew which side his bread was buttered so he took the risk. He was rewarded, handsomely. Adam found himself waiting at the same spot at the same time every day to run a needless errand for which he was ridiculously overpaid. The lady became very friendly with Adam and soon he was paying sneak visits to her in her cabin. He would help her in and out of her wheelchair and massage her withered feet. Soon, there were other mature ladies who all had their special meeting places and times and their little jobs for Adam. He became very wealthy, compared to the rest of the crew. One lady bought him clothes, another shoes and jewellery. His great natural talent, he discovered was sneaking about without being noticed. He would either dodge invisibly between lifeboats or stride as bold as brass in his swimming trunks along the pool deck with such an air of confidence that no one would think to challenge him. He always judged the situation perfectly and kept one eye open for a uniform. One of Adams lady-friends, a former dancer, taught him ballroom steps and in no time he was sweeping the more mature female passengers off their feet and into his arms. He enjoyed many intimate encounters and learned plenty of tricks to please his harem. The dashing young blade was the gossip of every bridge table and sauna. Most of them had had him, every one of them wanted him and Bermuda was still a week away. Adam had never known such popularity in his life. It was hard work, at times but he was in heaven. The sailor who had earlier become attached to him got jealous and told people that Adam had been stealing from passengers. All Adams discretion and ghost-like sneaking ability couldnt help him now and the Captain got wind of the rumour. It wasnt true, of course. Although young Adam was a lazy rogue and a slick lothario he was not a thief except of a few hearts. The Captain confined Adam to his quarters, confiscated all his fancy clothes and money as evidence and told him he was to be

Who would have guessed that Adam Cain Mitchams mild-mannered Citizens Advice Bureau manager has a skeleton in his cupboard? This story of his past may leave you disturbed so please, do not read further if you are easily shocked. When Adam had just turned 17 he got a part time job loading ships at Southampton docks and left his west London home. Apart from carrying suitcases and crates around, Adam had no skills. Leaving school at 16 was the cool thing to do, as was drawing the dole while doing dodgy work and getting drunk every night on the proceeds. Life was sweet for Adam in the long, hot Summer of 1981. While loading a cruise ship Adam was knocked unconscious by a falling sack of potatoes. No one noticed and by the time he came round in a dark galley hold, the ship had put to sea. The next stop was Bermuda. When the Captain found out, he was enraged, refusing to believe Adams story and convinced he was a stowaway. As Adam was in good health it was not justified to have him helicoptered off so he was to remain aboard, getting in the way; occupying a crew berth and using up food for the whole round-the-world cruise. The cardinal rule for lowly crew members was explained to Adam straight away: stay away from the passengers areas of the ship; be polite but never fraternise with a passenger. The captain gave orders that he should earn his keep while aboard so he was set to work at various tasks: laundry, cooking, engine roometc. but he was hopeless at every job they gave him. Even when told to scrub the decks he failed. Adam would end up at his favourite pastime loafing. Life wasnt bad for Adam. The crew took to his laid-back personality straight away and he was instantly popular. One particularly salty sea dog made Adam his special shipmate and followed him around. Adam began to miss the high life he had known ashore: merely skiving and lying around in the sunshine all day just wasnt enough. Bored, seeking excitement, he quickly fell in with the wrong set and gambled the few pounds in his pocket with the card sharps among the crew. He got himself into debt in no time and the sailors wanted to be paid, one way or another.

Carlton Chronicle, December 2002 arrested when they docked in Bermuda. Poor Adam spent the next week worrying himself sick. He knew he would probably end up in prison in Bermuda; maybe be deported home; end up with a criminal record. What would Mum and Dad say? They didnt even know he was at sea. Adam didnt know the geography of the western Atlantic Ocean at all well and so, he did a very dangerous thing. When the bridge announced that Bermuda had been sighted he took food, water and blankets and stole a lifeboat, casting off in the dead of night and rowing like mad for the island. Of course, the ship overtook him in seconds and he was soon adrift and at the mercy of the currents without so much as a compass. He hadnt realised how much water he would need and was soon rationing himself and dehydrated. After three petrifying, storm-tossed days his little boat was drawn into a giant whirlpool and spun round at high speed, drawing slowly towards the centre. Rowing proved futile and Adam could only watch in despair as he waited to be sucked into the mouth of Hell. The nearer he drew to the eye of the vortex, the faster he spun, making him so dizzy he suffered the sea-sickness he had so far avoided. He passed out. On regaining consciousness, Adams boat was afloat in a warm lake with steep cliffs in a circle all around. In the middle was another huge whirlpool that was pushing water and his boat outwards. He rowed to the edge, climbed up the rock face and saw that he was in the crater of a volcano on a small island. He walked down the outside of the volcano and found the island covered in forest. In no time, formerly lazy-bones Adam had made himself a hut and was feeding himself on the fruit that surrounded him in his lonely paradise. After a few days he went exploring and was astonished to find on the other side of the island a Hollywood film crew and several hundred extras shooting a movie. He introduced himself and explained his ordeal. What Adam and nobody else can understand is that this island is in the Pacific Ocean. The charmer, as ever fitted in immediately and was given a bit-part in the film. So convincing an actor was Adam that the director advised him to get an agent when he got back home. After the shoot, the film company paid Adam and took him to Hawaii with them where, having no passport he was trapped. He explained the more believable parts of his story to the British Embassy who, on verifying his disappearance from Southampton and establishing he held a valid passport back home, obtained for him a temporary visa and he was

11 allowed to stay in Hawaii and the USA for 2 months. This proved long enough for Adam to resume what he had learned to do so well on the cruise liner. He quickly found himself sweet-talking old ladies and swanning around the casinos of Honolulu. He soon made his air fare and flew home to his family. The arrest never materialised he had been written off as lost at sea by the Bermudan police. Adam has now tired of telling the story of his adventure: although many people believe what happened on the ship, no one accepts what happened on the boat. He approached TV documentary makers but they rejected his story as too far-fetched. Even the newspapers wont touch it, except for the tabloids and Adam doesnt want them trivialising his lifes most moving experience. Adam has spent years researching the Bermuda triangle and it has become his reason for living, now occupying every spare minute of his life. He is blessed to be married to a librarian, the longsuffering Pippa who has been rebuked several times by her employer for spending time and money ordering books from libraries all over the world to feed Adams obsession. He is currently at war with the Barry Manilow (Official) Fan Club because the first 20 responses from typing Bermuda Triangle into any major search engine will yield only Manilow-oriented data. Adam sees this as a travesty and is studying computer science (havent seen him for a while, now we know why) with a view to building his own web site for genuine, scientific Bermuda triangle facts and theories. The nearest Adam has come to taking the Hollywood directors advice and getting an agent is to join the Carlton dramatic society. He is a modest and quiet person but you know we all know his gentle face hides a tortured soul. Please, I beg you, give the man the space he needs to pull the shreds of his tattered past together. He is still searching and will always be searching for the answer. He will be closer to it when he knows the question. ~
And therell be more irreverent biography next time. Stay tuned, boppers.

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Carlton Chronicle, February/March 2003

Carlton Dramatic Society Information

We are an amateur dramatic society based in Wimbledon. We welcome members from 16 to 60 (or older!) either as actors, directors, set-makers, costume designers, lighting and sound engineers, or for any of the other tasks that putting on a play requires. No audition is necessary to become a member each production has its own auditions. Our shows range from comic to tragic, from the ancient Greeks to the 1980's, and from 5minute pieces to full productions. The group puts on two or three major productions a year, each lasting a week, which have recently been performed in professional theatres (the Wimbledon Studio Theatre and the Merton Abbey Colourhouse and Chapterhouse Theatres), and a third 'Workshop' event over a couple of evenings, usually consisting of a few shorter plays or scenes from plays, that give budding actors and directors an opportunity to try new skills. In addition to the performances, we hold rehearsals; play readings, and workshops for learning new techniques and adding to our repertoire of skills. We also arrange various social activities throughout the year. These range from parties (after all, what drama group would be complete without its end of play parties!) and group dinners to theatre trips. Weve been running for over 75 years, and we currently have nearly 70 members - and new members are always welcome! Heres a quick description of a show week: Sunday............................ Get in Monday.............Dress rehearsal Tuesday ....................First night Wednesday .........Getting into it Thursday...........Nearly halfway Friday .......... After Show Curry Saturday..................... Matinee / ..............................Final Show / .................................... Get out / .........................................Party! Sunday.................Whats next?

The Carlton Chronicle is the official newsletter of Carlton Dramatic Society. Editor: Matthew Petty Contributors: Kristen Bowditch, Toby Hardwood, Val Foskett, Leigh-Don Macduff, Me old mate Darth Sidious. Please send contributions, reviews, adverts, praise, money to: matthewpetty@hotmail.com Complaints: see opposite

Contacting the Carlton Carlton Dramatic Society can be contacted in the following ways: Email ........................ carltondrama@hotmail.com Post ................................................Carl Whiteside ............................................................ 10 Axwood ....................................................................Epsom .................................................................... Surrey ............................................................. KT17 7DR Website..................... http://come.to/carltondrama

The CARLTON COMMITTEE in alphabetical order

Kathryn Arundell ................Chair Adam Cain ................. Vice-Chair Val Foskett.Social & Fundraising Simon Harris . Stage Management Jane Lewis..................... Publicity Matthew Petty............ Newsletter Alison Raffan................Secretary Carl Whiteside ............. Treasurer

WHEN? WHERE?

HOW MUCH?

We meet twice a week, on Mondays and Thursdays, at the Yearly Subscription .............30 Wimbledon Community Centre, Associate Membership.........15 St. George's Road in Wimbledon Full Production Cast Fee......10 at 8.00 pm. After rehearsals (10.30 Workshop Cast Fee................5 pm until we get thrown out), you'll usually find us in the Hogshead These fees are subject to change. pub at the bottom of Wimbledon Hill. All are welcome to pop in to To pay any fees, just give a cheque, a rehearsal, or catch us in the pub payable to Carlton Dramatic Society, to the Treasurer, or post it to the see you there!
address above.

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Carlton Chronicle, February/March 2003

Carlton Calendar
Your regular guide to whats up and whats on at the Carlton and elsewhere
If there is anything missing from the calendar I do apologise my clairvoyance is affected by slightly warmer weather. Youll have to help me out by emailing me any items you would like to see included. Thursday 27th February 2003 Workshops Dress Rehearsal Wimbledon Community Centre Friday 28th February & Saturday 1st March 2003 Workshops Wimbledon Community Centre Monday 10th March & Thursday 13th March 2003 Dr. & Mrs Faustus Auditions Wimbledon Community Centre Spring 2003 T.B.A Carlton Arts Exhibition and Craft Fair St. Marks Church, Wimbledon Wednesday 16th April 2003 Last date for Winter 2003 production submissions Tuesday 22nd April 2003 Presentations for Winter 2003 production submissions Tuesday 27th to Saturday 31st May 2003 Dr. & Mrs Faustus Wimbledon Studio Theatre Tuesday 4th to Saturday 8th November 2003 Autumn Production T.B.A Wimbledon Studio Theatre Last chance to get it right! Break a leg guys! The Carltons commitment to innovation is exercised again at the end of February, when the annual Carlton Workshops bring together an eclectic mixture of comedy, drama, writing old and new, and of course wine and nibbles. See the Carlton Info section for a bit of background on why the Workshops are such fun! Mehmet will be using improv to find a cast for the Summer production, so get those making it up on the spot muscles flexing! Contact Val for details! We need ideas, offers of merchandise, help, exhibition items. Prospective Directors have until 16th April to get in their submissions for the Winter 2003 production. Contact a member of the committee for details! Prospective Directors must convince the Committee why their production should be next! Contact a member of the committee for details! All the weeks of work will pay off this week

Bit early I know, but its as well to put it in your diaries/