Dear Editor/Producer, What would you do if you realized that your own most fundamental assumptions about yourself

were wrong? How would you reinvent yourself if in your forties you began to suspect that much of your life had been built on a lie or at least a critical misperception? These are the questions that Dr. Loren A. Olson, a prominent Midwestern psychiatrist, faced when he finally confronted the fact that despite almost two decades of marriage to a loving and emotionally compatible woman, he was sexually and romantically attracted to men. Between three and eight percent of the U.S. male population is gay. Given todays freedoms, most young men can live as they choose. But for young men of the Baby Boomer generation who grew up in a heterosexual world in which homosexuality was considered deviant, passing for straight was the safest path. Now in mid-life or beyond, many of these men deny theyre gay while engaging in secret sex with other men. Others are in the same situation as Olson: they hide their sexual orientation for years, even to themselves. What is it like for men who come out in middle-age to transition to gay life? How does a wife left behind cope, believing her husband was never sexually attracted to her and may not have loved her? How does a dad explain to his kids that the divorce isnt about emotional compatibility but sexual identity? What physical and emotional challenges are there for mature gay men, some of whom are exploring their same sex attractions for the first time? What prejudices and inequalities do gay boomers have to confront as they enter their golden years? Finally Out answers these questions and many more. The book offers personal narrative, professional insight, and historical context that together may bring about a critical transformation in the way we understand gay identity and same-sex attraction, social stigma, and basic human rights. Sincerely,

Leslie Wolfe Arista

Press Release
Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight
Im just your average gay, close-to-retirement psychiatrist, living with my husband on a farm in rural Iowa declares Loren A. Olson in his introduction. Average hes not. Not only did Olson complete medical school, serve four years as a flight surgeon in the U.S. Navy, and embark upon a successful career as a psychiatrist; he also had a compatible eighteen year marriage and raised two daughters with his attorney wife, Lynn, before facing up to a difficult truth about himself: he is gay. There are approximately 7 million adult gay and bisexual men in the United States. Although there are still hurdles to overcome regarding gay tolerance, for many young men today their sexual orientation is an accepted part of their identity. But in decades past, when Olson was growing up in the Midwest in the 1950s, it was a sin to be homosexual. The most dreaded names a boy could be called were sissy, fairy, and queer. Olson had a vague awareness that he was different from other boys. As he matured he attributed his sexual ambivalence to his dads death when he was three; he was confused about his manhood, he reasoned, because he lacked a male role model. Then came medical school, the navy, his psychiatric residency, marriage and raising a family. While meaningful and satisfying life choices, they served to protect him from his intensifying feelings of attraction towards men. If on occasion Olson questioned whether he might be bisexual, he pushed the thought from his consciousness. He was a heterosexual, with a little quirk he decided. But at 40, after decades of inner conflict, Olson was drawn to an affair with a married man. Although short-lived, it was the defining moment. Not long after the relationship ended, he made a heart wrenching decision: he sought a divorce and began the complicated journey of coming out to his wife, kids, mother, colleagues and friends. Facing down fears that the news would shatter his family and ruin his career, a lifetime of struggle began to resolve itself. Olson summoned the integrity to figure out who he really was and what it would mean to live as that person. With professional insight Olson examines his personal transformation from a straight man living in a heterosexual world to a gay man beginning his education anew. He punctuates his story with revealing statistics from his interviews with gay men around the world and established studies on homosexuality, and with surprising historical facts that provide perspective on global cultural norms. Part personal memoir and part psychological treatise, Finally Out offers a rigorous look at why some gay men live straight lives and never come to terms with their true sexual orientation; why some men believe they are too straight to be gay even while engaging in secret sex with other men and the challenges faced by those who choose to come out after living half a lifetime or more closeted.
Loren A. Olson is a psychiatrist in private practice in Des Moines

Whos the Audience? Men struggling with their sexual identity or who have just come out Those who love them & are impacted by it: parents, siblings, wives, children, friends and colleagues People who enjoy memoir Psychology, sociology & history buffs LGBT Community Mental health practitioners Educators, counselors & clergy inGroup Press/March 2011 Paperback, 280 pages ISBN: 978-1-935-72503-9

Contact: Leslie Wolfe Arista

www.FinallyOutBook.com

About the Author

Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight
Loren A. Olson MD, DLFAPA is a board certified psychiatrist who has been engaged in the clinical practice of psychiatry for over 35 years. He has been recognized for his achievements by his peers as a Distinguished Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association (APA), and by patients and their families as a recipient of the Exemplary Psychiatrist Award from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). While serving as Medical Director of Psychiatry Dr. Olson was responsible for developing and improving the psychiatric treatment programs at two of the largest hospitals in Iowa: Mercy Hospital Medical Center and Methodist Hospital/Iowa Health System. Dr. Olson has been active in teaching psychiatry to residents in psychiatry and to medical and allied health students. He has also been an advocate for the needs of the mentally ill on a national, state and local level and he has held several offices in the Iowa Psychiatric Society, including president. Dr. Olson has conducted independent research on mature gay men, and he presented the initial results of this research at the World Congress in Psychiatry in Prague in September 2008 and throughout the United States. A frequent resource for local print, radio and television journalists on topics related to mental health, Dr. Olson was recently featured nationally on ABC-TVs Good Morning America. He writes for his own blog, MagneticFire.com, which has a strong following among mature gay men, and he is a regular featured blogger for HuffingtonPost.com and PsychologyToday.com. Dr. Olson and his life partner of over 20 years, Doug Mortimer, were legally married in Iowa in September 2009, six months after same-sex marriage was legalized in that state. He was previously married and is the proud father of two daughters and six grandchildren. He and Doug live on a farm south of Des Moines, where they raise Belted Galloway Cattle. Dr. Olson has been an active member and leader in Plymouth Church, United Church of Christ, in Des Moines. His experience as a gay man and a Christian was featured at the National Conference of the United Church of Christ. He served for four years as a Flight Surgeon in the United States Navy.
It was not until I was forty that I finally accepted that it is possible to be both gay and good. According to a study of men in NYC, 10% who say theyre heterosexual only have sex with other men and 10% of all married men have had sex with another man in the last year. Jon Stewart of The Daily Show about Reverend Ted Haggard: People like you make it really hard for, quite frankly, people like you.

Loren A. Olson is a psychiatrist in private practice in Des Moines

Contact: Leslie Wolfe Arista

www.FinallyOutBook.com

Questions for the Author

Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight
1. Ill begin with one of the two questions you say you are asked the most: How could you not know you were gay until you were 40 years old? 2. And the other question: Wasnt your first marriage just a sham designed to protect you at the expense of your wife and children? 3. What can mental health professionals learn from your book about the struggle with sexual identity and how gay adults are understood? 4. In your lifetime gay rights and societal norms for homosexuality have evolved dramatically. When you survey the landscape, what surprises you, what disappoints you, and how is society still not meeting the needs of the LGBT community? 5. What counsel would you offer someone who believed their friend, sibling or child was a closeted gay about to enter into a heterosexual marriage? 6. Weve all heard news scandals about politicians involved in same sex affairs yet who deny theyre gay. Many of them were at the forefront of anti-gay politics. Can you explain this phenomenon? 7. Your ex-wife recently told you that she and her husband-to-be wouldnt get married in a church that did not welcome homosexuals. What do you think she has learned through the lens of your experiences? 8. Not long after you came out, a close friend was murdered. Hate crimes still exist as a real threat to homosexuals. Are there situations in which you think remaining closeted is still the most sensible option? 9. You say in the book that gay men and women waste a lot of energy hating a homophobic culture and blaming it for the guilt and shame they feel. Arent they justified? What is the alternative? 10. You say Where tolerance of gays is higher, HIV rates are lower. Please explain this and discuss the public health implications of men who have sex with men yet deny theyre gayeven to themselves. 11. Today there are between 2-6 million gay boomers entering their senior years. What challenges do aging homosexuals face socially, economically and with regard to access to healthcare, and why? 12. One of your daughters is a conservative Christian. How does she reconcile her religious beliefs with the fact that her dad is gay? 13. You have six grandkids under twelve. How would you advise dads and granddads of young kids on the best way to come out to them? 14. What advice do you have for men who are contemplating coming out but fear losing the people and things that matter most to them?
On Coming Out:
The struggle for men & women who come out in midlife is more complicated because they have been passing as heterosexual in a heterosexual world. Letting go of the need for approval allows the coming out process to begin. Coming out requires coping talents, otherwise consequences may include depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, or suicide. Loren A. Olson is a psychiatrist in private practice in Des Moines

Contact: Leslie Wolfe Arista

www.FinallyOutBook.com

Historical/Cultural Reference Points

Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight

Charles Darwin wrote of his belief that sexuality was biologically determined in The Descent of Man, published in 1871. Cary Grants lines in the 1938 film Bringing Up Baby included what is believed to be the first mainstream on-screen use of gay to imply homosexuality. According to some cultural historians, in the early 20th century, men having sex with other men was not considered abnormal if men still abided by gender-conforming characteristics. If one identical twin is gay, the chance of the other being gay is 52%. The same statistic for fraternal twins is 22%. Polls show that until 2007, a majority of Americans believed gay people could choose to change their orientation. Now a majority believe sexual preference is an inborn trait. Widespread assumptions about the wrongness of homosexuality in America began to change partly as a result of World War II, when many small-town men serving in the military became exposed to a broader view of culture and society. In 1968, Dr. Charles Socarides, co-founder of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality, wrote that homosexuality was a neurotic adaptation stemming from absent fathers and overly doting mothers; a currently discredited theory. Following the Stonewall Riots in New York City in 1969, the word gay was adopted by the gay community as a term of selfaffirmation which developed solidarity, visibility and mutual support that they did not have before. In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association reversed its earlier position and declared that homosexuality is not a mental disorder. The movie Making Love, released in 1982, was the first movie to depict gay men as normal and capable of loving each other in a healthy, emotionally rewarding way. In 1998, the APA expressed its opposition to so-called reparative therapies meant to convert a gay person to heterosexuality. In todays American workplace, about half of LGBT people feel unable to talk freely to co-workers about their sexual orientation and over will not take a gay partner to corporate social functions.
May 2010 Gallup report: 1. For the first time, the percentage of Americans who perceive gay and lesbian relations as morally acceptable has crossed the 50 % mark. 2. For the first time, the percentage of men who hold that view is greater than the percentage of women who do. 3. While womens views have stayed about the same over the past 4 years, the percentage of men ages 18-49 who perceived these relations as morally acceptable rose by 48 %, and among men over 50, it rose by 26 %. Loren A. Olson is a psychiatrist in private practice in Des Moines

Contact: Leslie Wolfe Arista

www.FinallyOutBook.com