Biblical Divorce Solutions

Would you prefer to negotiate and deal with conflict in a way that:
Brings peace rather than strife? Is a testimony to your beliefs? Allows your beliefs & actions to be in alignment with one another?

If so,...
Choose to work out your divorce issues peacefully and privately with the help of professionals who look to Gods word for guidance. We work with couples in a way that takes into account the whole person: the legal aspects of separation, divorce or the possibility of reconciliation. Generate your own options about how you will support your family, share parenting time, choose to use property, divide assets and liabilities. Make wise decisions based on your individual needs.

Disputes Limited 1615 Old Hawkinsville Road Dublin, GA 31021 www.DisputesLimited.com email: info@disputeslimited.com 478.290.1957

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Exactly what is a Biblical approach to conflict? The concepts explain how we should treat each other and are based on scriptures. These Biblical principles are the basis for how the participants interact with each other. You can generate radically different results by applying these principles.

Steps in the process

1. Get Your Heart Right- Reflect on your motives.

Matthew 22: 36-40 What is it specifically that concerns you? What is your purpose in confronting the other person? What do you hope to accomplish? Give them the benefit of the doubt.
2. Get together - Sit down one on one with your spouse.

Matthew 18:15 Really listen with a desire to understand. Explain your concerns, listen to theirs and get things worked out. Prepare in advance. Write down questions you need answered. Address issues that matter to both of you. Share any new information with them that they might not have had that will help them better understand your needs. Be honest, ask for or give forgiveness.
If that does not work or is not possible move on to step three.

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3. Get Help - If you havent been able to work it out on your own find a couple of others who can help get things resolved. Matthew 18:16 If you choose to use mediation the mediator is bound by a pledge of confidentiality. Coming to an agreement and staying at the table are both voluntary. You may choose to reach a partial, temporary or full agreement. In mediation you work things out without the rules of court procedure or the back room politics. You decide what works best for you, Not a judge, jury, attorney or the mediator. The mediator is impartial. Avoid the time and expense of going to court.
If that doesnt work move on to step four.

4. Get someone else to decide - Take the issues before one or more Christians. Matthew 18:17 Submit your unresolved decisions to an arbitrator or panel of arbitrators who will make a ruling based on Biblical principles. Avoid the stress, fear, embarrassment and expense of trial. Show your children that you really trust God and believe his Word.

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Step 1: Get Your Heart Right- Reflect on your motives Matthew 22: 36-40 What is the most important commandment in
the Bible? Jesus answered, You shall love the Lord your God with your whole heart and with all your soul and with your whole mind. This is the greatest and most important commandment. Next to it is this one: You shall love your fellow man as (you do) yourself. The whole Bible (depends on) hinges on these two.
Amplified Bible (Cotton Patch Gospel).

1 John 1:8-10 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves (were kidding ourselves), and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins (honestly face up to them), He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (rid us from every bad habit). If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.
NKJV (Cotton Patch Gospel)

Romans 3:21-24 The God-setting-things-right that we read about (in the Old Testament) has become Jesus-settingthings-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we've compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ. - The Message
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Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. - New American Standard Version Philippians 2:4 Look out for one anothers interests, not just for your own. Todays English Version Philippians 2:1-4 If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care then do me a favor, (make me completely happy by being harmonious) Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. The Message, (Cotton Patch Gospel)
1

Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any

comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.
3

Dont be selfish; dont try to impress others. Be

humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Dont look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. New Living Translation

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Step 2: Get together - Sit down and work things out, regardless of who is or may be at fault.
Matthew 18:15 If your brother does you wrong, go talk it out privately between the two of you. If he sees your point, youve won your brother. Ephesians 4: 25-30 Each of you must tell the truth to the otherDo not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.-Todays English Version Leviticus 19:17-18 Do not bear a grudge against others, but settle your differences with them, so that you will not commit a sin because of them. Do not take revenge on others or continue to hate them, but love your neighbors as you love yourself. I am the Lord. -Todays English Version John 20:23If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained." -NKJV Luke 6:37-38 "Do not judge others, and God will not judge you; do not condemn others, and God will not condemn you; forgive others, and God will forgive you. Good News Bible Todays English Version Luke 6:37-38 "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Be easy on people; you'll find life a lot easier. The Message
If that does not work or is not possible move on to step three.
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Step 3: Get Help -Find others who can help get things resolved. We can refer you to a counselor, accountant or attorney if you need help other than to what we provide.
Matthew 18:16 If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. The Message Romans 12:17 If someone has done you wrong, do not repay him with a wrong. Try to do what everyone considers to be good. Todays English Version Matthew 5:25 If someone brings a lawsuit against you and takes you to court, settle the dispute while there is still time, before you get to court. Todays English Version

James 3:17 17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 18 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. New Living Translation 17 -18Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.
The Message If that doesnt work go to step four.

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Bill & Wendy Adams have worked with hundreds of people going through the same things you are dealing with right now and have expertise

* Working as a co-mediation team using our skills as marriage educators to assist parties in communicating their needs, issues and interests to each other. * With the financial issues of divorce and Bill Adams is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst www.institutedfa.com * Helping people make decisions about the future of their family including the opportunity to choose to have a discussion about the possibility or terms and conditions of a reconciliation. * Advanced training working with families who have been involved in domestic violence. II Corinthians 1:4 He helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God.
-The Message

James 5:19
19

My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you

wanders away from the truth and is brought back, 20 you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins. New Living Translation

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Step 4: Get someone else to decide - Take the issues before one or more Christians who will make decisions based on Biblical principles. Matthew 18:17 If he still won't listen, tell the churchyou'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love. The Message I Corinthians 6:1-10
1 -4

And how dare you take each other to court! When you think

you have been wronged, does it make any sense to go before a court that knows nothing of God's ways instead of a family of Christians? As these disagreements and wrongs surface, why would you ever entrust them to the judgment of people you don't trust in any other way?
5 -6

I say this as bluntly as I

can to wake you up to the stupidity of what you're doing. Is it possible that there isn't one levelheaded person among you who can make fair decisions when disagreements and disputes come up? I don't believe it. And here you are taking each other to court before people who don't even believe in God! How can they render justice if they don't believe in the God of justice?
7 -8

These court cases are an ugly blot on your

community. Wouldn't it be far better to just take it, to let yourselves be wronged and forget it? All you're doing is providing fuel for more wrong, more injustice, bringing more hurt to the people of your own spiritual family. Don't you realize that this is not the way to live?
-The Message

Dear God,
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I now confess my sin to you and admit that I am a sinner. (Acts 3:19, Romans 3:23,, II Thessalonians 1:8,9, I John 1:9) I believe that your Son Christ Jesus died on the cross for my sin (John 10:30-33, I John 4:7-20) and rose from the dead to be my Lord and Savior. (Romans 5:8,9 I Corinthians 15:3, John 3:16-19) I repent of my sin and invite Jesus into my life (Revelation 3:20, John 1:12, I John 5:13) Thank you Jesus for giving me the gift of eternal life. (John 5:24-29, Titus 3:5, Romans 10:9.10, Ephesians 2:8-10) I promise to live for you and commit my life to your purpose ( I Corinthians 6:19-20, Acts 2:38) reveal yourself to me through Your Word the Bible. (II Timothy 3:15-17, II Peter 1:21) In Jesus name I pray, Amen

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Matthew 12:37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." - New American Standard Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation."
The Message

Colossians 3:1-2
1 -2

So, if you're serious about living this new resurrection life

with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christthat's where the action is. See things from his perspective. The Message

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If you choose to follow these steps the right choices will become clear. You focus on doing what is right rather than focusing on who is right.

The divorce process is not simple. But let not your heart be troubled! Help is available. Bill & Wendy Adams 1615 Old Hawkinsville Road Dublin, GA 31021 www.DisputesLimited.com email: info@disputeslimited.com
Make the first move, address the situation, engage conflict well.

For more information or assistance applying these principles visit www.StayOutofCourt.org or call us at 478.290.1957

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