Sanghamitra July 2010

Sanghamitra July 2010
Editorial team
Aditya Sengupta
Dhroov Q Mahesh Iyer Vidya Pai
An e-zine of Good As You, Bangalore http://www.goodasyou.in
SANGHAMITRA
contact us at
editors.sanghamitra@gmail.com
Cover design
Saumitra Chandratreya
Sanghamitra website : Dhroov Q

Tejas Pande Saumitra Chandratreya
Cover photo
Indu Antony
Neha Bhat
Cover model
Ashish Mhatre
Design team
Credits
.
section criminals
377
no more
july 2010
SANGHAMITRA
6 Editorial
Good As You Pages
Vinay Chandran
25 Men in Black: A Note on Justice A. P. Shah

& Justice Dr. S. Murlidhar Gowthaman Ranganathan
8 Good As You Musings 9An Update on Pride Events in 2010 10 Bangalore Queer Film Fest: A Roundup 12 Good As You: The humble beginnings
of the Bangalore Chapter R. Eriksen Vinay Chandran
27 365 Days without 377 29 377 and Me

Organizations We Salute
Danish Sheikh Anonymous
Siddharth Narrain
30 10 Years of ALF
Lawrence Liang
Inspiration
34 Alan Turing (1912-1954)

Aditya Sengupta
In Memoriam
14 Venky
Fiction
37 Dream A Dream
Vijaykrishna Ranganathan
Aditya Sengupta Arvind Narrain
16 Remembering Famila
Coming Out/ Personal Stories
38 This One Night

Danish Sheikh
18 Babys Day Out

Nishad Matange
Relationships
Vidya Pai
39 The Marigold and the Queen Bee

Fiction
Criminals No More: Judgment Anniversary
20 Naz Foundation v. NCT Delhi A Year

After a Historic Verdict Arvind Narrain
43 Bunny Eyes
Mahesh Iyer
23 The Naz Verdict and its Challenges
An excerpt from Prof. Upendra Baxis talk
In This Issue
Excuse Me!
Sonia Joseph
44 Will You Marry Me?

Film and Media
Apurva Asrani
Reviews
66 Play: On Vacation
Dhroov Q & Vinay Chandran
47 Cine-Maa Da Laadla Bigad Gaya

The Shrinking Corner
Aswin Ratheesh, MD
Safety First
Mike Higher
69 Online Cruising New Frontiers

Agony Uncle & Aunt
50 Listening To Yourself
Comic Strip
72 Karan & Karen

Erotica
52 The Gay Noob

Dhroov Q & Shreek D
75 When Push Comes to Shove

Soft Serve
Comic Strip
Shooting from the Lip
53 Power Sex
79 Gay Words
Aarthi Parthasarthy
Chandrasekar D.
Support
Science and Sexuality Series: 1

Sexuality
55 Alfred Kinsey and the Beginnings of Modern Research into Human

Ritwick Sawarkar & Aditya Sengupta
80 Groups & Organizations Working on Sexuality Issues

Disclaimer To the best of our knowledge all articles published here are original work, and, unless otherwise mentioned, have not been published before elsewhere (except in contributors personal blogs). If found otherwise, the responsibility lies solely with the contributor.
Manishs Kitchen
Manish Gaur
69 Coconut Cookies
Special Feature
Vidya Pai
61 My Mirror Has Two Faces

Fiction
Omega
64 Silver Lining
Editorial
magazine was acceded to. This was in the first week of May. My plan was to make two drastic changesfirst, to make second, to turn it into an e-zine instead of a print magazine. The third plan was audaciously ambitiousto release the first issue of the e-zine in less than two months, on or around July 2, to
weve started an irreversible process. For those of you who dont like the idea of an e-zine, no worries: we are considering an annual Collectors Edition of Sanghamitra as a print issue to be released during our annual queer film festival (BQFF).
Indian Super Queen 2009 beauty pageant. There is the usual bunch of fiction, including an erotic piece. Being a quarterly, we can now do series articles and dedicated columns for Sanghamitra. We have quite a few of these and have plans for more. We have a psychiatrist
ts magazine-time in Queer India.
Bombay Dost got re-launched last year-- Id heard about the magazine a lot, but this was the first time I one. The Pune monthly, The Queer Chronicle, is a visual treat, Jiah has a very interesting set of articles for and by women, and I recently discovered Gaylaxy from Kolkata. Theres the Pink Pages too, that I
actually saw a copy and even owned Sanghamitra a quarterly, and
Our Cover Story is of course the Naz talking about problems we face, Judgment. Much has already been written and spoken about it. We try to offer you a different perspective of how it affects our lives after a year in a multitude of ways. At the same time, we should also keep in since the matter is pending with the a trained counselor giving advice on personal issues (please send us your problems if youd like advice), a page discussing safety issues, and two biologists discussing published scientific research on homosexuality. in each issue. Weve even got a for you! We welcome contributions for the Inspiration and Coming Out/ Personal Stories pages, and please do contact us if youd like to be featured on the Relationship Profile. Please
got to know of when a couple of cute coincide with the first anniversary guys from the magazine interviewed of the historical judgment that Arvind at the BQFF earlier this year. Our own publication, annual magazine, but languishes in the absence of takers. I offered to take the plunge, and my primary condition that I be allowed to change the whole get-up of the decriminalized homosexuality in India. The July 2 target has been two months. I quickly formed the shared my enthusiasm and have made it possible for this venture to be seen through completion. There was no turning back, and hopefully
mind that the battle is far from over, Manish will give us an easy recipe Supreme Court, and also that despite dedicated comic strip specially made one of Prof Siras still occur. Apart from that we have a diverse set of articles for you. We have a feature on Adam who participated in the
Sanghamitra, is supposed to be an my driving force since the past
editorial and design teams who have the judgment, cases like the tragic
Editorial
7
between, please do send us your
keep sending us any articles or
fiction related to LGBT issuesafter criticismwe welcome both your all Sanghamitra is your magazine. brickbats and bouquets, and well Since were a quarterly now, we welcome contributions all round the year. My only regret in this issue is that I couldnt persuade my favourite writer in Bangalore to contribute you know who you are, so please do consider writing for a future issue, hopefully, for a regular column. Lastly, the Alternative Law Forum is celebrating its 10th birthday. It is organizations such as these that have been fighting our battles in social and political forums, in the media, and in the courts. Do join us in a standing ovation for ALF on its completing a decade of activism. It is a difficult feat to maintain the best standards without feedback. Whether you like what weve tried to do, or hate it, or anything in publish a page or two of these emails in each subsequent issue. Being a new publication, our design is still malleable, and we welcome feedback in this regard. We can be contacted at editors.sanghamitra@gmail.com.
Good As You Pages Good As You Musings

transgendered individuals have ne of the most touching things used GAY as a drop-in space. the year following the reading down of Section 377 by the Delhi the change in law causes only a marginal change in their lives.
Ive heard at the Good As You
Professionals and students from all High Court. Surely this change in law and the subsequent opening up Party spaces are useful and of public spaces for queer people in necessarysince they bring more the city (considering that there are While the group itself has occupied two or three queer parties in pubs many different offices over these yearsincluding offices of other non-governmental organisations and bars in the city centre almost every weekend) should imply that informal spaces like GAY would and more queer people into public spacesbut they are not attended by each and every member of the community. Many cant afford them and some are plain not interested. Community cultural events like film screenings, poetry reading and the like draw another narrow set of queer participation. It is in also draw the will to survive. They cater to another sub-section of the community who, while they may be interested in one or the other event as well, primarily look forward to a face-to-face meeting with others like themselves. Others
(GAY) meetings over the years, has backgrounds have made the group been from a long-standing member a temporary home. of the group who said that GAY was home to him because During the week I have to pretend to be someone else. But for two hours every Thursday evening, I can be myself. GAY started as a place where we didnt have to sit around bitching all day long, although that wasnt exactly out of place! Humour is essential to the functioning of the group, as is a fair sense of participation. Other agendas, both action-based and discussionbased were just as welcome. It was probably this flexibility that has made GAY the longest surviving informal support group for queer people in India, now celebrating its 16th year. Thousands of gay men, lesbians, bisexuals and People have wondered about the usefulness of a support group in
(NGO), and a baking institutefor become obsolete? But the fact that close to 9 years GAY met at a small, it still survives is also probably the wood-panelled garage office off Double Road. The group has now moved to a bright, airy office space in S. R Nagar. Both these offices belong to the Swabhava Trust, an NGO working with queer issues in Bangalore. rationale for its survival. Changes in the law do not necessarily imply The law can only decriminalise, it cannot empower queer people to accept themselves and it cannot completely prevent discrimination or harassment and the resulting agonies. In fact, to many people, like hijras and male sex workers,
a broad social change for the better. such situations that support groups
Good As You Musings

Vinay Chandran
9
acknowledged verbally by others who have gone through the same experience.
who can become long-term friends for allowing that realisation to be to hang out or share sorrows with, or simply help melt the loneliness, emerging from living in a harsh society, away. Many of the early queer activists from Bangalore who are now well on their way to national and international advocacy efforts emerged from GAY. Many of us have never stopped attending meetings because the prospect of helping someone else come to terms with their sexual orientation, or deal with marriage pressures, or with relationship crises, or give information about HIV and the like, helps us build a sense of community. There is nothing more powerful, for someone who is coming to terms with a shunned sexual orientation, than realising that you are not alone. And a group like GAY provides the perfect space
An Update on Pride Events in 2010
Siddharth Narrain
While Bangalores Queer Pride March has been held on the last Sunday of June in 2008 and 2009, the next Pride will either be held later this year, or early next year. The main reason for this is that other cities like Delhi and Mumbai have decided that the Pride cannot be held in hot and humid weather if they want to continue to attract large crowds. Delhi has already announced that they will hold their Pride on November 28th, and Mumbai is toying with the idea of organizing their Pride on the last Sunday of January 2011. Chennai, which stuck to last years schedule, has just organized a week of Pride events including its Pride March on June 27th. Kolkata, where the first of the Pride Marches in India was held in 2004, is yet undecided about its Pride dates this year, while Bhubaneswar, which held a Pride for the first time last year, is in all probability, organizing a Pride on July 2nd this year to mark the first anniversary of the Naz decision. For those of you interested in helping organize the next Bengaluru Pride, do join the CSMR mailing list, (csmr@yahoogroups.com) on which the event will be coordinated, or do write to me at sid@altlawforum.org. For more information on the Bengaluru Pride events of 2008 and 2009 do check www.bengalurupride.org
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Good As You Pages Bangalore Queer film Fest 2010: A Roundup

a visually stunning adaptation of Christopher Isherwoods novel of the same name, was to start screening at 7.30 pm. The previous film had ended at 7.05 pm and there was enough time for the audience to saunter in and occupy any of the 250 odd seats. However, by 7.15 pm, it seemed, there was standing room only. By the time the film started, there was barely any standing room either, and we were forced to turn away many who had arrived even a few Indiaafter the Delhi Nigah Film raising had been going on for almost five months, the response from film makers was tremendous. Two months before the festival, collection of around 10 films. Closer to the dates, we had received an impressive 100 and the euphoria minutes late. Between three to four Festivalto focus on inviting film hundred people may have attended makers from across the world to this film alone. These varied responses are a proud reminder of the success of BQFF 2010. The first film festival in send their new films directly for a bit of a coup. With barely three months of preparation, although planning and attempts at fund
IDS Conference Cocksuckers
is an interesting film, and sexually explicit. As the first film for the third day of the Bangalore Queer Film Fest (BQFF 2010) held in February this year, it also inspired the first walk out! There were already a few audience members gathered in the auditorium and a young heterosexual couple walked in. Not five minutes later, those of us at the stall outside saw the woman rushing out of the auditorium with her partner in hot pursuit, as it were. They waited till the end of the film before they ventured back in again. Contrast that reaction with the last film of the first day. The India premiere of A Single Man at the BQFF 2010,
screening, the hosting of BQFF was we had received only a very small
Bangalore Queer Film Fest 2010: A Roundup

Vinay Chandran
11
performances were none like the auditorium had ever seen before that were shaken off from the performers hair told of how much fun they had had, and the whistles and screams from the audience of family and togetherness showed and support systems that queer people the world over had formed. From shots of queer teenagers living in shelters in New York, to classic photographs of Pride marches from the early 1990s, to by female-to-male cross dressers and transgender individuals, were all moving and impressed everyone. Poetry reading, especially Joshuas stand-up recital from memory, thrown at a packed auditorium like so much rice at a wedding, was received with loud applause and catcalling! The folk dance Ending on a high note was important for such an effort. Following the screening of A World Unseen, a touching film enjoyed by Over forty volunteers, four all, starring Lisa Ray and directed Shamim Sarif, the festival moved to a large and loud party organised by Pink Nation and Party Square along with Time Out Bengaluru. Both Pink Nation and Party Square had also helped organise a fund raiser each; Good As You, in collaboration with several individuals, had organised a fund raising Garage Sale too. organisations, 10 Festival thousands of audience members made the BQFF 2010 a brilliant all-rounded experience. And theres another one coming soon. Same time next year. See you there. the roads outside! At the end, we felt a bit like the protagonist of the short film 510 Polte. The film shows an air traveller who is stranded at a lonely destination, discovering, in the company of another woman, little deserted airport. Things that amuse her, things that made her curious, and eventually, things that make her fall in love.
truly settled in. Selecting which ones to screen was a difficult, if not impossible, exercise. But the festival committee had help from many film appreciators and critics, and the selection was narrowed down to 52 films. The festival committee was hard pressed to cut although the original intention was to host the BQFF only for two days, the number of chosen films necessitated increasing the duration of the festival to three days. It was a pre-gone conclusion that this years BQFF would also have cultural and other programmes tied to the main event. So a photo exhibition, a folk dance programme, poetry and play reading, and two panel discussionson queer womens issues and on the reading down of section 377were all organised. Photographs representing themes the number down any further. And alternate, and intimate, families
and the millions of jasmine flowers Meters Above Sea Level, by Kerstin
could be heard loud and clear from joys and beauty hidden across the
images of brotherhood represented by acclaimed South African author Committee members and
12
Good As You Pages Good As You: The humble beginnings of the Bangalore Chapter
difficult because we didnt have the raving about the movie. Some remember Sanghamitra educating the group on AIDS. New members trickled in but I continued to be the only lesbian member for quite sometime and was later joined by another lesbian. Our quest to find a safe place for the meetings continued as we were infringing on the professional space of one of the members. facing (considering we had no funds) Sanghamitra Iyengar of Samraksha ( HIV/ AIDS resource centre) offered us the use of their office space for our meetings. In mid 1995 we started holding our meetings there. It was on Lalbagh Road, Wilson Garden. I also I liked the meetings as it gave us a platform to discuss our political rights, our fears, our joys and accomplishments and lend a helping hand to people who were struggling with their sexuality. It was at the meetings I first heard about Section 377 of the IPC. We didnt protest vocally about it but we dicussed it . We started networking with other LGBT groups. Those were pre-internet days , so yes, we used snail mail . We used to wait for the the copy of the Bombay Dost magazine. Most of us were reluctant to order it because we were scared that our family or friends wouldnt approve of it. One of the members was bold enough to do that and
remember coming to the early
financial resources to rent a place. Seeing the dilemma we were in, one of the pioneering members of GAY allowed us to use his office space for the meetings. I remember it being a very small cubicle and we somehow managed to fit into the room. Lucky me, I always got
of the guys decided to go the the movie together. It is one of the group activities that stands out in my memory.
meetings of GAY. It was way back in 1994. I was 25 years old. The meetings were held at Gandhi Bhavan, Kumarapark West. At that time it was called Muse. It was more like a literary gay and lesbian group. People would read their share experiences and sometimes also play Whats the Good Word. Shortly after I joined the group, we had to find a new venue for our meetings as we couldnt hold it at Gandhi Bhavan anymore. The group tried to find a place to hold the meetings but it was
poems, talk about books of interest, a place to sit because I was the always chivalrous to offer the lady a seat. It was during this time the group got its name...Good As You. We liked the name because we could identify with it individually and as a group. Around this time the movie Philadelphia hit the theatres in India. We couldnt stop
only lesbian, and the gay men were Seeing the problem we were
Good As You: The humble beginnings of the Bangalore Chapter

R.Eriksen
13
Just in case you are wondering what happened to me... I finally met my soul mate in Chennai when I was 33. Later we moved to Europe and got married (Registered Partnership). We have been together for 8 years now. My partners family welcomed me to be a part of their family. It took my parents quite a while to accept family. On our last visit home when we went to take a family photo at the studio, my parents insisted that family photograph. We were really touched. The photo hangs on the wall of my parents living room. All the best to Good As You...you sure made a difference in my life.
passed it on to the group to read. We came to know of Trikone (South Asian LGBT group). Till then I was totally unaware that such groups existed. For me, it was a particularly freeing experience because I realised that there were more people like me.There were quite a few bisexuals in the group too. Everyone was welcome . their friends who were curious to know what it was all about. Over a period of time I stopped attending not joining the group and most of the activities were for men. Eventually, my job and relationships took me to various cities and I lost touch with the group. I do read GAY postings on the net from time to time and wonder as to how many lesbians are a part of the group now, because there was a time when I was the only one.
Sometimes members brought along it but today she is welcomed in my
the meetings as more lesbians were my partner also be a part of the
For those of you who vaguely remember me...do drop me a line at sunshine331@rediffmail.com. Would like to reconnect with you. And Vishwas, if you are reading this...Where the hell did you disappear? You were supposed to be my BFF.
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In Memoriam Venky
In Memoriam This piece was written a year ago, on the 10th of July, 2009, a day after Venky passed away.
Mahabharata where Yudhishthira of a Yaksha. One of the questions is, what is the most surprising of all. Yudhishthira answers that everyday so many people die, yet our plans are made as if well all live forever, kimaashcharyam atah parah? [what is more surprising than this?]. Even yesterday afternoon I was thinking about the eye and vision for some reason, and I thought Id ask my eye-surgeon friend, Venky,
here is an episode in the
and a halfwed met on the internetand wed already become interesting guy, very my typea voracious reader and into quality movies, calm, gentle, friendly, intelligent and unassuming, interested in the arts (he was a fan of Caravaggio, liked theatre), had travelled widely around the world, was a foodie (we used to explore new restaurants), was politically aware. He was an eye surgeon, and Ive been told a pretty good one. Hed been planning to check out GoodAsYou since a while, and I got
has to answer philosophical puzzles good friends. He was an extremely
after he returns from his trek. Later him to come to a meeting or two that evening, I learnt that hed had a also leading to his getting back heart attack and had passed away. Ive known Venky since a month in touch with two of his distant cousins whore integral members of the organization. Id met him for the last time on the 28th of June, 2009, we had gone to the Pride Parade together. He was
Venky when I last saw him: at the Bengaluru Pride Parade, 28 June 2009.
Venky
Aditya Sengupta
15
Yudhishthira or not, there were many, many plans.
supposed to come to GoodAsYou for the Naz Judgment celebrations on the evening of the 2nd of July, but couldnt make it because of work. He messaged me saying wed meet up after he got back from the week-long trek he was going to that weekend. He died on the 9th of July, exactly a week later. He was merely 35, the only child of his parents. I really still cant believe that Ill never be able to return the two DVDs Id borrowed from him, or go to Blossomsthe huge bookshop where he was in his elementwith him, or explore new restaurants with him, or call him up with questions about medicine or the eye, or go with him to the recently inaugurated branch of the National Gallery of Modern Art in Bangalore, or to Rangashankara, or any of the so many other plans. Im sorry, but surprising to
16
In Memoriam Remembering Famila
In Memoriam Famila was a much loved hijra activist in Bangalore, who was on the cover page of the 2005 issue of Sanghamitra. In 2009, to mark her birthday on November 7, friends of Famila gathered in the Alternative Law Forum to evoke her memory and pay tribute to the massive role she played with respect to queer activism in India.
amila died five years ago
Famila apart from being a much sought after and extremely articulate public speaker who was regularly in the media, was also a remarkable organizer. The one thing nobody can forget is the way she put together the Hijra Habba in 2003. This was a cultural event with a political subtext organized in the Town Hall. For all of us, this event which encompassed fashion shows, music performances by the hijra community and talks, was an unforgettable event. The speakers included people like Arundhati Nag and Prof. Babu Matthew. I still remember Babu Matthews years) slightly bemused expression
when he walked into the hall, to the sight of a hijra dancing with her back to him dressed in a silver sequined outfit and him saying with a hint of worry, I hope what I have to say is appropriate for this occasion. Babu need not have worried as the event managed to combine serious messages with a spirit of celebration. Babus serious message that That British man called Macaulay left behind that in independent India was picked up by other hijras activists like Kajol during the event even as the celebrations continued. What the Hijra Habba told us
was that activism could be fun. It was not necessary to always have protests and marchesone could get across a very serious message using other media as well. She introduced us to hijra culture with its emphasis on turning protests into celebration and introducing a sense of mischief into activism. Famila was a great bridger of chasms and could be at ease be in different sub cultures. She went to the Narmada valley and from all accounts, the good people of the valley had never seen a band quite like Famila and her comrades. Even with respect to the activist community in Bangalore, we learnt about hijra lives and hijra culture through Famila who was able to transition from one culture to another with such grace and
when she committed suicide. She was a remarkable activist who embodied in her person grace, beauty and a remarkable ability to be articulate. A lot of people remember her in public meetings when she would stun everyone by quietly introducing herself saying, My name is Famila, I am a bisexual, hijra sex worker. In those few lines, Famila disrupted a series of assumptions, that there are fixed categories of sexuality which do not overlap, that sex has to be associated only with love and intimacy and cannot be a way of that you are born into. Famila was queer in the sense of someone who constantly questioned the fixed assumptions of both gender and sexuality.
law Section 377 which has no place along with a team from Sangama
livelihood, and that you are the sex ( trade union activist for many
Remembering Famila
Arvind Narrain
17
cut aross these rigid sexuality boundaries. It is this capacity for larger political? Do we know enough about the personal lives and the pain that is sometimes disguised under a smile? Should we not be tuned in to this personal dimension of suffering and make an effort to reach out across the envelops people? Surely activists are more than just larger political emblems, and there is a personal dimension to each of their lives which we must connect to? Famila, in her life and in her death has raised questions and deeply relevant. For that reason Even as we remember her life, her death through suicide should also open out questions for us which we need to think about. Questions such as whether in the activist community there is a space for the personal? How does the personal or the intimate interact with the Remembering Famila, as much as it is a personal tribute to a friend, is equally a way of keeping alive an inspirational force. As Neruda put it:
If I should die, survive me with a force so pure, That you awaken a fury from the pale chill world. In all directions raise your indelible eyes, Day in day out, sound your mouths guitar
dignity. While Famila was a large political presence in all our lives, she also exemplified the feminist dictum, the personal is the political. She was at the cutting edge of experimentation in the LGBT community. She experimented with different forms of living arrangements, different forms of intimacy as well as tried to create a new sense of family and wider than either a conventional family or even the traditional hijra community. In that sense, she was a bit of an outsider in any settled space of identity be it the activist community, the hijra community or, of course, the family of her birth. This sense of radical experimentation saw Famila blur the boundary of who a hijra will have a relationship with (only a man) through her personal life. She had relationships which
radical experimentation in the way of our comrades, the heartache one lives ones life which prompted the Kannada paper, Lankesh, to proclaim in their obituary that, Famila was two steps ahead of most intellectuals of her time. These are the reasons why we remember Famila- as a friend, as an inspirational activist, as someone who opened out our with the hijra community, and as someone who created new possibilities of both thought and
As much as it is about keeping alive our own sense of inspiration, it difficult questions and opening out new ways of relating to each other. Her needless and untimely death places the imperative of loving one another (in the deepest sense of the word) as an obligation on all of us. As Auden puts it:
And no one exists alone; Hunger allows no choice To the citizen or the police We must love one another or die.
intense loneliness which sometimes is equally about asking ourselves
community which was broader and ways of thinking and empathizing
action through her all too brief life. challenges which continue to be
18
Coming Out/ Personal Stories Babys Day Out
Coming Out/ Personal Stories We all know what Coming Out stories areand an LGBT publication can never be
complete without at least one of these. Do tell us your story, whether about coming out to parents, siblings, friends, at work, or to the world in general. Not only do these make interesting reading, but also inspire others who might be peeping out of the closet. We also welcome other personal stories in this space.
ve always wondered, in
the way through college, until the worst happened, I fell in love.
converse with him. I spent a few months in this phase when all of a sudden I was faced with the possibility of reciprocation. This was perhaps the most difficult I was torn between what I wanted and what I was conditioned to want. I must have spent about a
out to myself was far easier for me than for many other people because it happened in the guise of finding love. What made it almost pleasurable was that suddenly I had the sense that I wasnt alone in think that I had ever viewed myself as abnormal or a social misfit, but now there was a social order that I
retrospect, how ignorant one can be of ones own identity, sexual or
otherwise. Of course ignorance has Okay, not really the worst, more its advantages. And that is why we often choose it over any kind of realisation. Much of my school life was spent diverting my attention towards academics and extracurricular activities (sans sports of course, pardon the clich!) and away from women. While the bounce of one of my female classmates walk or the lilt in her laughter had opium-like effects on my friends, I remained fairly unaffected. This was, of course, considered mature and stemming from great strength of character and other such desirable qualities. Egged on by this, I continued my display of apparent self-control all like the best. As luck would have it, the object of my affections was a senior at the Indian Institute of Science, (where I am still trying to brew up a PhD) and as gay as gay can be! Of course to begin with I didnt know that it was love or that he was gay and available. All I was sure about was that it was a feeling that I hadnt experienced before, a sort of sweet nervousness each time he passed by me or obliged when I tried desperately to
period for me when all of a sudden what I was going through. I dont
week tossing and turning, weighing could belong to, if I wished. It was a options and talking it out with him good feeling. when he came out to me as though it was as natural a thing as being left handed! Eventually I realised for it. Im sure that coming The next phase of my coming out was far simpler. It was time I shared friends, not because they needed to
that I was gay, and felt all the better this realisation with a few close
Babys Day Out!

Nishad Matange
19
Im sure most of you know there is no such thing as a good time to tell ones parents that their son is into other peoples sons! So on a completely normal day, with absolutely nothing special about of the stars, the moon or the sun I decided to break it to them. It so happened that everything went against the initial plan. For instance, I had planned to sit both my mom and dad down together for the chat. I had also planned to do it with my sister there as a sort of buffer. No such luck! Like most urban couples in their early fifties, getting my parents to be free at the same time and in the same place in a reasonably amicable mood is close to impossible. So while my mother found out while taking care of the days laundry, my father found out during a commercial Its interesting how differently they So thats that! All the people that I care about now know! But in my opinion the only person that coming out to really made any difference was me. It has brought fabulous experiences my way and taught me to accept myself and and others in the whole rather than in parts. I have realised that the responded to the news. My mother best gift one can wish for is selfwent down the typical Indian mother route with a few tears and a whole lot of concern. However, in about a day she was back to normal and curious to know more (Yikes!). My father on the other hand played the more supportive (and practical) role almost immediately respect for my decision. Of course, almost all the credit must go to them for their open mindedness and acceptance of my decision, but I suspect that much had to do with how convinced I was of my own decision. realisation, and wish all the readers the same.
know, but more to test the waters. I began with one of my closest (and most open-minded) friends. That she is a woman is perhaps not necessary to mention. Freaked out as she was to begin with, she literally!) and our friendship has gotten stronger over the last year or so. She also played another key role in my being comfortable with my new identity -she made me realise that gay people and straight people really werent that different after all, least of all when it came to relationships! Armed with having a new found fag-hag I soon got a couple more, including my sister. It was interesting how they all went through a phase of being absolutely freaked-out but came around eventually! I havent, however, been able to come out to any of my straight male friends, maybe because I dont feel as close was time to tell my parents. Now,
accepted me with open arms (quite it, and practically no consultation
Gently, or at least that was the plan. and assured me of his support and
to them. The true test came when it break during the Wimbledon final.
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Criminals No More: Judgment Anniversary Naz Foundation v. NCT Delhi - A Year After a Historic Verdict
of Justice Shah and Justice Muralidhar continue to find an echo in world. As one moving tribute to Justice Shah (the author of the Naz judgment) put it: Muralidhar a lot for striking down night. I was not thinking, Sodomy Sec. 377 had criminalized me as a person; my deepest, most innocent dom. That is a lot to get from one single court case. 1 sense of belonging and somehow a sense that you are not necessarily Constitution. It is for this feeling of entitlement that we owe Justice Shah an immeasurable debt. What har have done is to innovate a new language in which one can talk about sex. They have unshackled imposed by religion and morality and anchored it within a discourse on dignity, privacy and autonomy. about homosexuality within the language of rights. LBGT comThe feeling of freedom, the sense of munities around the country are entitlement is perhaps the biggest gain in the last one year. There is a
1 http://www.gaybombay.org/?p=1334
dignity, intimacy and their own sexuality. This sense of entitlement, which LGBT persons feel, continues to face many challenges from those hostile to this shaking-up of the laws of morality. The best illustration of how strong this opposition is, is the fact that there are sixteen petitions filed in the Supreme Court challenging the judgment of the Delhi High Court. These range from Hindu, Muslim and Christian are bitterly opposed to the granting of any rights to the queer minority. This poses an enormous challenge in the Supreme Court that
t is difficult to believe that on
July 2, 2010, we will be celebrating one year during which Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender persons have been free of a law which criminalized our intimate lives. The freedom was so unextaste. It has been a dramatic year able verdict, marvelled at the fact that our sexuality was seen, not as as an essential part of our right to live with dignity, and continued to combat the insidious prejudice which still continues to blight the lives of LGBT persons. A year down the line, the words
queer hearts and minds around the an outsider at the high table of the
As a gay man, I owe you and Justice Justice Shah and Justice Muralid-
pected that we are still savouring its Sec. 377. I remember how I felt that
in which we celebrated the remark- is legal!, I was thinking, Im legal!. homosexuality from the confines
perverse and despicable, but rather desires. Your ruling gave me free-
They have made it possible to speak fundamentalist groups, all of whom
savouring the use of this newfound language of rights and re-
imagining the relationship between the queer community will have to
Naz Foundation v. NCT Delhi A Year After a Historic Verdict

Arvind Narrain
21
just confined to LGBT persons, but tragic occurrence in the last year instead forms a part of the thinking was the dismissal of Dr. Siras from of all those who value an inclusive, democratic India. While the status quo is in favour that the battle continues against his job in Aligarh Muslim University (AMU) for the offence of engaging in homosexual sex in the privacy of his home, and his subsequent mysterious death. Dr. Sirass home was invaded by media persons in cahoots with the Uniwhere he asserted that being gay was akin to an uncontrollable feeling like poetry. He approached the police to register an FIR against the AMU authorities for various illegal actions such as house trespass and criminal intimidation. The police refused to file an FIR on the ostensible ground that those whom Dr. Siras had complained against were big people. Dr. Sirass struggle bore fruit, when he won an incredible victory, with the Allahabad
face in the coming days. The arguments of religion and culture, the language that LGBT persons are immoral and unnatural, and that they are a threat to family values, is being played up again and again
before the highest court of the land. of the LGBT community, it is clear These arguments need to be countered in the Supreme Court with of the Delhi High Court judgment. We need parents to come and testify that actually its Section 377 that destroys family values by secrecy within the family. We also some very determined foes in the
Supreme Court. The Bench headed versity administration and allegwith Justice Verma and Justice Chauhan refused to stay the Delhi High Court judgment in spite of vociferous pleas to do so by the aided by the position of the Union someone of the same sex. Following this patently illegal action, the
the objective of protecting the gains by Chief Justice Balakrishnan along edly caught [him] having sex with
University authorities chose to sus- High Court ordering that he be pend him, strip him of his position reinstated. However even prior as Head of Department of Modern Indian Languages as well as evict him from his university quarters. All this, after twenty-five years of service in AMU, just when he was on the verge of retirement. Dr. Sirass death is emblematic Prof. Siras fought against these small minded and vindictive actions of the university authorities nity. He took his case to the media of the distance to be traversed in order to convert the gains of the judgment into a societal culture that is deeply inclusive. Justice Shah quoted Ambedkar to say: to the order being implemented, he died under mysterious circumstances. We still have no idea of the cause of his death, as the forensic report is yet to come out.
encouraging a culture of shame and petitioners. The Court was largely need mental health professionals to of India, which did not argue for a testify that homosexuality is actual- stay. With the retirement of Chief ly not an illness and that experts in Justice Balakrishnan, the matter the field of mental health have long will most probably now come up decriminalised homosexuality. We also need teachers to testify to the harm that laws such as Section 377 do to students who might be queer. The legal challenge aside, we conWe need to demonstrate that the struggle against Section 377 is not nation against LGBT persons. A before a bench headed by the new Chief Justice, Justice Kapadia.
tinue to battle stigma and discrimi- with remarkable grace and dig-
22
Constitutional morality is not a natural sentiment. It has to be cultivated. We must realise that our people have yet to learn it. Democracy in India is only a top dressing on an Indian soil, which is essentially undemocratic. Clearly we have many miles to go and many hurdles to overcome before the idea of inclusivity becomes a deep-rooted way of living, and tragedies such as the death of Prof. Siras become a part of history rather than a contemporary reality.
Criminals No More: Judgment Anniversary Naz Foundation v. NCT Delhi - A Year After a Historic Verdict
Did You Know

...Icelands Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir married her longtime partner Jonina Leosdottir as one of Icelands first few married gay couples in the countr y on June 27th, which was both the international day for gay rights and the day that a new law legalizing same sex marriage in Iceland went into effect. She is the first openly gay head of government in the world, and obviously, therefore the first to marr y a same-sex partner.
23
The following is an extract from Prof Upendra Baxis speech at the ALFs Tenth Anniversary Event: Courage Craft and Contention: Human Rights and the Judicial Imagination, June 12th, 2010, United Theological College Bangalore. Prof Baxi is a former Vice Chancellor of University of Delhi, and Professor, Emeritus, University of Warwick. We thank ALF for a copy of this transcript.
is of as great importance to the future of human rights and Indian constitutionalism as was the decision in Kesavananda Bharati1. Kesavananda Bharati said that you cannot change the basic character of the constitution just as you wish; and Naz Foundation says you will not deny dignity and plurality or plural conceptions of life; that you will not impose a unilateral tunnel vision as a comprehensive conception of good life. What Naz does remarkably well is to say that dignity is a part of the basic structure of the Constitution and dignity means respect for plurality. And plurality means respect for justice. You take every individual person and her life plans, and her desires and her projects as Many religious groups have a strange misunderstanding of what Naz decided. They say Naz is endangering their core religion and practices of faith. I do not think the court has done any such thing. The
has moved from a juristic or legal conception of dignity to relating dignity to justice. I read the Naz
he Naz Foundation decision
Foundation decision as a marker of a movement from law to justice.
Prof. Upendra Baxi

equally worthy until such time as it It is not only in Naz that Justice begins to harm others (The Harm Principle). has been his signature tune. He
court has only read down a section in the penal code and said that certain forms of consensual adult court has said nothing more and therefore how is any religious belief affected? God would be angry even if I read the judgment. By that rationale even your presence here with Justice Shah might be punishable, so you might have to Shah has dealt with dignity. Dignity sex should be decriminalized. The
The Naz Verdict and its Challenges

An excerpt from Prof. Upendra Baxis talk
24
do some penance at the end of the day if you are a believer. Nothing in religion is affected; no right of religion under Article 25 has been affected. Then there is the second misconception that when the judges in Naz are talking about edge of the wafer. Critics say that once you allow decriminalization on the ground of dignity and privacy, tomorrow constitutional morality will take away their right to identity, cultural specificity and difference and India will become a godless, religion-less society. While this might be a clever
Criminals No More: Judgment Anniversary The Naz Verdict and its Challenges
in Article 25 that ones conscience and religion may be restricted in the name of morality. So what Naz achieved was to explain a concept that was already immanent in the precedent. High Courts have equal jurisdiction and power to interpret a judicially invented right. So how can the Supreme Court tell the High Courts how they should
argument to develop as a lawyer, I think this argument is wrong. Full credit to Justice Shah and Justice Muralidhar for speaking so eloquently about constitutional morality. You might think that Justices Shah and Muralidhar notion of constitutional morality, but constitutional morality does not begin with Naz. It was always there. Directive Principles of State Policy (Part IV), the Preamble, Fundamental Duties of Indian
constitutional text itself. The judges follow precedent when they have have not invented anything that the made mincemeat of the doctrine Supreme Court can then review. Then there is the argument which very learned colleagues of mine have been making. They have been saying that Naz was bound by previous Supreme Court decisions in Kharak Singh2 on the right to privacy. I am surprised that my colleagues can even take that in India one kind of rights is written scripted rights. The other kind of rights is judicially invented rights. They were not written in the Notes: Constitution. E.g. Due Process, in Maneka Gandhi3, the right to speedy trial, right to bail, and the right to housing. When we are dealing with a judicially invented 1 His Holiness Kesavananda Bharati v. The State of Kerala and Others (1973)- A landmark decision of the Supreme Court of India, which forms the basis for the power of the Indian judiciary of precedent? I have never seen such an unprecedented court as the Supreme Court of India. So the question then is not of precedent but of the reflexive power of all judicial officers to expand the meaning of judicially invented rights, and therefore I think these critics are entirely mistaken. The traditional stare decisis (rule of precedent) does not apply.
constitutional morality it is the thin have invented and expanded this
citizens (Part IVA), the restrictions view. There are two kinds of rights
Prof. Upendra Baxi (left) and Justice A P Shah
right, it is not right to say Follow
25
the scope and content of the right to life and liberty by including the concept of substantive due process to Indian law. This emanated from right to equality, the freedoms and the right to life.
to review, and strike down, amendments tothe Constitution of India passed by the Indian parliament which conflict with or structure. 2 Kharak Singh v. State of Uttar Pradesh and Others (1963) - The Supreme Court struck down a state regulation, which permitted police surveillance of a criminal suspect. The legal commentators, who Prof Baxi refers to, have pointed out that the majority of judges in the case recognized the right to privacy as a common law right, and not a fundamental right. It was in the dissenting judgment of Justice Subba Rao, they argue, that the right to privacy was recognized as an essential ingredient of the fundamental right to liberty. 3 Maneka Gandhi v. Union of India (1978)- In this judgment, the Supreme Court expanded on
seek to alter the constitutions basic a collective understanding of the
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Criminals No More: Judgment Anniversary Men in Black: A Note on Justice A. P. Shah & Justice Dr. S. Murlidhar
Court Legal Aid Committee. He has been the counsel for the Election Commission of India and the National Human Rights Commission for several years. He has authored a book titled Law, Poverty and Legal Aid: Access to Criminal Justice. Dr. Muralidhar was appointed Additional Judge of the Delhi High Court in 2006. Justice A P Shah has delivered many progressive judgments benefiting various marginalized Justice Muralidhar) against the Delhi Government stopping them from sending back beggars to their native place, his order (along with Justice Endlaw) to the Municipal Corporation of Delhi to not demolish a night shelter for the sake of beautification of the city, and his judgment obliging Apollo hospitals to reserve some of their beds and out patient services for free are some of the many progressive judgments he has penned down. Justice Shah has been Chief Justice of the Madras High Court (2005-2008) and the Delhi High Court (2008-2010). He retired in February this year. The profile of both the judges clearly demonstrate their work for the marginalized. When we talk about the Delhi High Courts verdict, it is these two men who wrote the well reasoned out judgment. It is not the courtrooms made of brick and wall, not the grand colonial structures, that spoke for all the queer people in India but these men who brought into the judgment their years of experience, research, and reading, and more importantly a humane touch to the judgment. hat came first? The change
in the law, laid down in the Naz judgment, or the change in society that led to the judgment? Did the medias support for decriminalization, change in law in countries like Nepal, the general trend in international law and increased visibility of queer people in pride marches and TV shows lead to the judges giving a favourable decision? Or is the judgment ahead of its time, does it of queer people? I believe in the latter, we were lucky that the case came before Justice A. P. Shah and Justice Dr. S. Muralidhar. As a lawyer, Justice Muralidhar took many cases in human rights, public interest litigation and legal aid; he was also on the legal aid panel of the Supreme
open the path to greater acceptance groups. His verdict (along with
Men in Black: A Note on Justice A. P. Shah & Justice Dr. S. Muralidhar

Gowthaman Ranganathan
27
need to know. I hear a whoop of joy plause gives way to excited chatter. This moment is real. This moment is happening. * A call now, and I run back out to receive it. Its a friend from Delhi, room. My head buzzes with emotion, Five minutes later when I walk back into the class again, the news thoughts, ideas. I have just sent mails to the people I know whore concerned with the case furithe shirt I wore at the Bangalore pride Closets are for Clothes, it VIBGYORs out. The channels are saturated with interviews, debates. I walk into the common room of the hostel at night to the sight of half my batch sitting around the screen caught up in one of these. reading about places, times, too many to start, where the mention of the subject is taboo. So many in this country, perhaps still in the overwhelming majority, where it continues to be. And yet here, in this classroom, generally vocal gay boy that I might be, I still feel Nazdiscussion-fatigue. Weve spoken so The Day After 24 hours have passed, and Im sitSomeone groans from a corner, as, for the umpteenth time, the jurisprudential-soundness-of-the analogous-grounds-extension-point is discussed. professor stops writing. screen. This moment is real. * The Month After Were discussing the judgment. In class. AGAIN.
of July: the date of the Naz Foundation judgment. I look back at how a 105 page document has affected my life over the last year. * The Day of the Judgment Class hour. I feel the buzz of a new message on my phone, but I cant check it just yet. I know what it the day, and its 10.45 AM, Courts open, and yes, I know what its things change. As long as I dont
ere fast approaching the 2nd from across the room, even as the
whos just stepped out of the court- ting in the library.
should be about, of course. Today is had been relayed all round. There grin continues unbroken, and the of commotion. 377s been struck
is spontaneous applause, my manic ously proud, gushing emails. I wear I catch myself grinning. I think of
about alright. And if I check it now, Professor enquires about the cause look, I can revel in this glorious un- down, Sir! mis-answers somecertainty. I hold on to the moment. one: but I am not going to point out legal nuances at this moment. And then it buzzes again. Another message. And again. Four more. Nerves get the better of me, and I excuse myself from the room, run out and check my phone. The half-crazed smile on my face as I walk in tells my friends what they He gets the point. The Professor gives his congratulations to the
concerned parties even as the ap- Another familiar face flashes on
365 Days without 377

Danish Sheikh
28
much about LGBT rights that weve amusing. finally placed them on the same pedestal as everything eventually gets to in law school boring. This is progress! * 6 Months After The newly founded NALSAR Gender and Sexuality Forum has its inaugural meeting. The jurisdiction of Delhi High Court judgment over the rest of the country argument has long been forgotten; as the meeting starts, the unchallenged proclamation is made that homosexuality stands decriminalized in India. A large group of people has gathered for this first meet too large, in fact, to see the same numbers turn up for the next. Never mind though, it remains a fact that going to be good enough for me. * 8 Months After The first signs of backlash are Even as the smoke clears, the Forum prepares for its next meeting. Turns out our Forum has riled up enough momentum to pluck at the bic at college: AAG comes as a reThat gets my attention. Almost. Have you heard of AAG? asks a friend at breakfast. * Today
Criminals No More: Judgment Anniversary 365 Days with 377

My father types away furiously at his laptop on the other end of the room. Do his ears occasionally prick up at the mention of some Soon, a year will have passed since Turns out she didnt mean the atro- the judgment. Voices of change cious Ram Gopal Varma remake. It stands for Abhorrently AntiGay. permutation of LGBT in the news too? Its been more than a
Is the 6th of June.
within the walls of my college walk year since I received a forced-casuin tandem with whispers of change al call from him, asking about this outside. At home, we deal with it by, well, not dealing with it. The walls of my bookshelf are stacked with gay academic piece on homosexuals you wrote which I just found online. I registered his emphasis on the word academic; it was almost like a plea let it just be academic
literature; my mother looks at them interest. Soon, we will have the conversaSoon.
heartstrings of the more homopho- wordlessly as I rearrange my books. joinder to the pro-gay propaganda tion. I feel a surge of confidence of the Gender and Sexuality Forum with every new positive image that meetings. Particularly amusing is the idea of the Forum as a recruiting ground for more of them. AAG eventually burns out - the no one taking up the mantle. plays on the television when were both watching. I wonder if she has passed the stage of a passive onlooker, whether every news item for her carries a glimmer of something more, some personal stake which she has yet to fully acknowledge.
we have this forum at all, and thats founding members graduate, with
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Now this was said in Kannada, Yes, I celebrated when 377 was delirious with joy, just like all the other people who care about human rights around our country. Intellectually, I totally understood what a significant step it was for queer people and for our nation as a whole. and that I have the option of not even responding to that allegation since it is entirely irrelevant to the case at hand; the case where one physically stronger man, without any provocation, caused grievous injury to a defenceless woman and expected her to just shut up and take it. except for the word homosexuals, struck down last year. I was very alien and jarring to my ears. I bet it got their attention from the other lame excuses he was making for his own sickness in perpetrating such violence. It suddenly dawned on me how, irrespective of the judgment that the Inspector had probably already Yet, until yesterday, when I truly, passed in his mind about us and our depraved lifestyles, or what kind of a relationship she and her ex shared, or how bitter the ex felt about my relationship with with the information about her the fact remained that she did not break the law, and he did. And for this, we have to thank Justice Shah and Justice Muralidhar, and the activists who worked for over people like her and me. for the first time, felt the difference between being on the right side of the law and on the wrong side, I didnt experientially get the significance of the judgement. It matters not how confident I was that loving somebody of my own gender is not wrong, and cannot possibly be a crime. It matters that now I have no reason to fear, that truth and justice are on my side,
y girlfriend was beaten up a
few weeks ago by her ex-boyfriend, and in that context it sounded and ended up having to take 10 stitches in her head, in addition to painful muscular inflammation and bruises in all the places that he kicked and punched her. This and previous physical abuse, was in addition to the massive mental and emotional damage that he has inflicted on her over the year that they were together. Yesterday, the Inspector of the station where she filed a complaint arrested him and brought him in He apparently admitted that he did in fact get violent with her, but he blamed his anger on her loose character and the many affairs she was having with different that he even mentioned me. He said that you two are homosexuals.
called me, and he told me that they her, or his desire to blackmail her to the station to take his statement. relationship with another woman;
people. And then the inspector said 10 years to bring this freedom to
377 and Me
Anonymous
30
Organizations We Salute 10 Years of ALF
Organizations We Salute Few of us from the LGBT

community in Bangalore (and the rest of the country) havent heard of the Alternative Law Forum (ALF) especially after their valuable contributions to the fight against section 377 of the IPC in the Delhi High Court and now the Supreme Court. A group of lawyers started ALF in March 2000, recognizing the need for an alternative practice of law that responds to issues of social and economic justice. ALF thus deals with a multitude of issues ranging from human rights, to gender and sexuality, to intellectual property, to issues that the marginalized are forced to face due to globalization. In addition, ALF provides legal services to clients who are unable to afford it or clients whose advocates are unwilling to represent, such as unorganized labour, sex workers and hijras. More information about ALF can be found in its website: http://www.altlawforum.org
the binary of individual and group of neither one nor many. I can think of no other concept which captures the essence of what it means to reflect on the process of being a part of a collective. The Alternative Law Forum celebrates its tenth anniversary this year, and it seems appropriate that we share our decade litmus test with other institutions like Sarai, CSCS and Pedestrian Pictures. At the risk of sounding dramatic we should perhaps dub ourselves
active involvement with the left, for a number of us who came of age in what is often dubbed as key challenge has been to address the question of what constitutes the political in this changed landscape where grand imaginaries of transformation seem a little less believable than they perhaps did earlier. The demise of grand Utopias however cannot mean the demise of Utopian possibilities, and ten years of ALF has certainly taught us that lesson. How does one measure ten years? For those of you who are soccer fans like me, and keenly anticipating Brazils win yet again, ten years could be measured as two and a half world cups. But in
uddhist philosophy, rejecting
identity, puts forward the argument the post political generation, a
ALF celebrated its 10th birthday on June 12 with talks by Jusas Midnights Children of a new tice Shah and Prof Baxi followed by a dinner party. We repromillennium. duce Lawrences opening speech below, where he looks at what ALF has strived to achieve in these 10 years and where he sees it Unlike a generation before us in future.
which had come of age with their
10 Years of ALF
Lawrence Liang
31
to acknowledge fellow travelers not only have been impossible, but also a lot less fun and exciting. Fun is not usually a word that one associates with the social sector. Arent we the sacrificing selfrighteous martyrs who gave up lucrative jobs to do this? Thats the version that the Times of India likes to carry out when they have who chose non mainstream jobs, most parts its been incredibly fun. The possibility of camaraderie is far greater when a joke is shared in the midst of a protest rally, and at the end of the day when you are working on issues which actually sees more losses than gains, it is can vent, curse and cry with. When an organization has been around for ten years, one more or less takes for granted a number of things: most of all- its name. But every name is also the history of what it didnt become or almost became. In our case, our name has especially in the courts where it is often assumed that we do alternative dispute resolution. And of course we often get the standard question, Alternative to what?? One of the options that a few of us were very keen on initially was Law, Society and Democracy an acronym like LSD, we would At the outset it must also be said that while origin myths are useful up to a point, the core values and aspirations that have driven our work were not necessarily things that we had absolute clarity about when we began, and it is only through debates, disagreements and dialogue that we have arrived corporations take precedence over human rights and socio economic rights, and when we are constantly told that there is no alternative, it is perhaps not such a bad thing to
a more serious vein ten years can for numbers like 9/11 and 26/11 to be transformed from being just dates to becoming a part of our vocabulary, and challenging our imagination of law, justice and human rights. At the same time if ten years ago you asked us when we thought homosexuality would be legalized in India, we would have said, perhaps in another fifty level, we at ALF have moved very a collective of young lawyers to a collective of lawyers. Milestones are both measurements of the distance that one has traveled as well as signposts of just how much further one has to go in the journey. We can also think of milestones also as opportunities to take a break, to pause, and to remind ourselves of why began the journey in the first place, and
also be seen as the time it has taken without whom the journey would
been the cause for many questions, aspire for an alternative.
years. At a much more experiential to do the mandatory story of those
subtly from describing ourselves as but the fact of the matter is that for until we were reminded that with
perhaps not be taken very seriously, at some clarity over what defines and what with the Hindi film, Love, our motivation and our aspirations Sex Aur Dhoka being a hit, I am glad that we chose the alternative name. Of course if the director decides to make a sequel Aashiq, serious trouble. In the era of neo liberalism, where the rights of armies and as a collective. I stress on the word aspiration, because we are far away from achieving all that we have set out for ourselves. Also while this is seemingly a moment in which we celebrate ten years of an organization, in reality, the only real way in which we can
vital that you have a group who you Love Aur Failure then we are in
32
measure the ten years is to see it as ten years of working and learning from different people: from social movements to activists, from academics to media practitioners. Eduardo Galeano narrates a story about a painter who after many years of observation and practice decides to paint something which includes everything he has seen, so he mounts a canvass and fills it with trees, rivers, mountains, people, places and after he has finished, he looks at the painting only to recognize that the lines in the painting correspond to the lines that form his own face. So if we were asked to identify a few of the things that have been important to us, then the first would be the creation of a space which sees the practice of law as one which responds to the struggles of various people for a more just and equitable Another challenge for us has been to cultivate a space which does not distinguish between theory and practice, activism and research. And sometimes this is easier said than done: Academic Research, Activism and Legal Practice each have their own temporal rhythms, and the conversation between the urgent, the important and the society. As straightforward as this may sound, this gets really complicated when you locate it within the logic of the profession. As professionals enmeshed in a profession where authority and power are exercised through the language of knowledge and expertise, it has been a challenge for us to remind ourselves that our ideas of rights and justice do not emerge from our knowledge of the law or of precedents alone, but through an engagement with the representing in courts. The decision to work as a collective has been both the most enriching and the most in the last ten years. Speaking place in any smooth fashion.
Organizations We Salute 10 Years of ALF

interesting do not necessarily take When we speak of collectives, there is often an assumption of a shared vision or a collective ideal that And yet a certain openness and fluidity has been critical to the way that we function. We have had engineers and social workers who have become lawyers after joining media practitioners. I think it is not just sameness but also difference that marks the idea of a collective. These differences to negotiate, and there have been a number of occasions when our very survival as a group has been under question. We have had people who have left us over sharp differences, and yet strangely it is difference and diversity that has also been the basis of an intensity of experience, and excitement for most of us. Every member of ALF is a part of a much wider world, and their engagement with different issues What then does it mean to speak of a collective? What does it mean to believe in a shared ideal, or to make a common commitment? and movements has opened our individual worlds out to different sensibilities which we would never have been able to have, had we binds a group together.
ALF, and lawyers who have become are sometimes extremely difficult
people we have had the privilege of challenging experience of ALF about his collaboration with the psychoanalyst Felix Guattari, the French philosopher Giles Deleuze says that I used to work alone, and even that was too many people. And then came Guatarri.
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fascinating cultural document. This has helped us understand the abstract world of law as one that is simultaneously political, personal, cultural and legal. a space and working together despite our differences. This demands what Ashish Nandy once inventiveness in our lives. rich history of radical lawyering, but also as a way of setting out a guide, or a moral compass for keynote address for that workshop, in which he began with a quote In many ways, the question of what It is no surprise that the root word it means to work as a collective goes into the heart of the question of what it means to inhabit the world with others: It is said that that concrete relations that we establish in living with others are like shadows of the more abstract questions-that is, we learn about the nature of the world in the process of such living. for the word fond comes from the word ground, and there is no common ground on which we can stand, or no collective ideal that we The past ten years have been an can imagine if it not founded on an idea of affection. In the larger history of politics, there is often little space for the relationship between the little communities that we inhabit, and the manner in which they allow us to imagine equality are not just abstract ideals, but things that we have to learn in a very lived and visceral sense: in the process of being a part of various struggles, and organizations, but equally through the process of learning to inhabit When we began exactly ten years ago, we organized a small workshop very early on- a the history of critical lawyering in India, as a way to acknowledge the world. incredible mixture of exhilarating victories, disappointing losses and exciting collaborations. We thank all our fellow travelers for having been there, for sharing in our joy, and we hope that we will continue together on the many adventures from Daniel Cohn-Bendit which suggested that revolutions must be born out of joy, not sacrifice.
been working on our own. These sensibilities expand our ideas of the world, of justice, law and politics. The greatest perk that we receive from working at ALF (since we are not too good in the Diwali bonus department), has been an opportunity to work with colleagues who bring an inspiring sense of passion and commitment to what they do. From the sexuality movement, we learnt to see issues of law and justice as questions of eros, corporeality and desire not as outside of law, but as being intertwined with the reason of law.
described as the element of ethical ourselves. Prof. Baxi prepared a
From the sex workers and domestic So ideas of respect, justice, and workers collective we learn that shared solidarities are created not just out of an experience of violence, but through a sharing of songs, jokes and compassion. And from cultural theorists and artists, we have learnt that even the driest legal text can become the most
the Utopian possibilities of a better ahead.
working with other individuals and workshop that attempted to locate
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you comfortable in your own skin, to deal with your sexuality? Tell us who and how in this column.
media. There was no internet to speak of outside the academic world, and so obviously one didnt have gay websites. Is it surprising that I did not know anybody else who felt like me, or that I had no one to talk to? That late adolescence and early youth were across a piece that dealt with how to test whether a machine is intelligent, the path-breaking ideas of the British Mathematician and Logician, Alan Turing. The concept was so brilliant that I became an instant fan of Turing. Coincidentally, a few weeks later
Inspiration Alan Turing (1912-1954)
Inspiration Has anyone - living or dead, man or woman, straight or gay, celebrity or commoner - been influential in making
persecuted and prosecuted because of his homosexuality, and he ultimately committed suicide. Homosexuality! My heart skipped a beat. Here at last was a multifaceted genius, who had been unashamedly gaythe desperate young gay chap had finally found a role model. Digging more about Turing I got the basics, and in fact one of the first books I ordered after I moved abroad in 1998 was Turings biography by Andrew Hodges (the professor had suggested I read it when I had mentioned the Turing Test). I remember getting supremely excited when I bumped into Hodges on a British gay
lonely and depressive? Probably the a professor talked about Turing only figure I knew of who had been in a totally different context in
Photograph courtesy of Prof Jack Copeland and
the Turing Archive for the History of Computing. Permission to use the image obtained from the Turing family via The Archivist, Kings College Cambridge.
homosexual was Oscar Wilde, and although I loved his writing, his flamboyance didnt quite suit my personalityat that time a rather quiet, sensitive, nerdy, confused, introverted budding scientist. Onceit must have been 1996 while browsing through the dusty depths of the IISc library, I came
a Developmental Biology class. This time it was his fascinating contribution to understanding and modelling how patterns could be generated during embryonic development. We were also told in passing that Turing had done an amazing amount of work in solving the Nazi codes during the World War-II, but was nevertheless
to mid-1990s? Unlike now, there was zero visibility of anything gay in the Indian media and there was minimal access to the foreign
o you remember the early
Alan Turing (1912-1954)

Aditya Sengupta
35
The Turing Test for Machine Intelligence
The ability to learn, understand and reason, the ability to use knowledge to deal with new or difficult situations and to modify or manipulate ones environment, the capability for abstract thoughtthese are some essential constituents of intelligence. Science fiction apart, could a machine (a computer for example) ever be intelligent? Technology is developing at a rapid pace, and machines are moving towards achieving one or more of these criteria. But how do we decide whether a machine is indeed intelligent? There is no easy answer to this, but most tests for machine intelligence are based on a test Alan Turing had proposed in 1950, that has become an essential concept in the philosophy of Artificial Intelligence. Turing derives his idea from an imitation game popular in parties of the time where a man (M) and a woman (W) are in two separate rooms, and are communicating through written notes with a third person (P) outside. P has to determine by asking questions to M &W, who amongst them is the womanboth M & W try to convince P that each is the woman. Turings Test for machine intelligence switches M and W with machine (computer) and human. Both have to convince P that each is the human. The intelligence of the machine would depend upon how well it imitates a human, hence human thought. Several modifications of this test exists, one of them proposed by Turing himself in 1952, where a machine tries to convince a significant proportion of a jury that it is human.
website and we talked on and on about Turing. In many ways Turings most famous work, the Turing Machinedealing with Gdels Incompleteness Theorem, as well as his work with deciphering the Nazi codes, are thought to have contributed to the development of the modern computer and to the discipline of Computer Science. It is sad that Bangalore is full of software professionals most of whom havent even heard of Turing, even the gay ones. Alan Turing was born in London in 1912he had been conceived in India where his father was employed with the Indian Civil Service. His excellence in Science and Mathematics was apparent from his school days. He met Christopher Morcom, another outstanding student of science, in 1928. Morcom became Alans
closest friend and inspiration (and the formers sudden death in 1930. Turing published his momentous paper in 1936 where he described what is now called the Turing
Machine. In 1938 he was recruited the codes used by the Nazis, and he became one of the biggest contributors to these efforts. Along with Gordon Welchman,
he devised the Bombe, an automated machine to crack the dreaded ciphers generated from the Enigma coding machines of the Nazis. During his stay in Bletchley Park, he proposed to his friend and
possibly his first love interest) until to the teams trying to decipher
36
colleague, Joan Clarke, but soon afterwards came out to her about his sexuality and broke off the engagement. From 1945 onwards, he started working on his ideas of building a digital computer, or the Automatic Computing Engine (ACE) and a programming system. As noted above, Turing also was a pioneer in the philosophy of Artificial Intelligence (see Box) and concepts of pattern formation in early embryonic development. Turing was openly and unapologetically gay. He was prosecuted for gross indecency in 1951, ironically, when he reported a burglary and freely admitted to having had a homosexual relationship with the suspect. Turing was made to undergo female hormone injections that would supposedly reduce his libido. On 8 June 1954, he was found deadhe had committed suicide, most likely, by eating an apple laced with cyanide. Last year the British Prime issued an apology on the behalf of the British Government for the appalling way [Turing] was treated.
Inspiration Alan Turing (1912-1954)
Resources on Alan Turing:

Andrew Hodges, Alan Turing: The Enigma [Simon & Schuster, New York, 1983]
Minister, Gordon Brown, belatedly Book:
Movie:
The Strange Life and Death of Dr Turing (1992) Dir: Christopher Sykes
Websites: http://www.turing.org.uk/turing http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_ Turing http://www.alanturing.net http://www.turingarchive.org
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A cracked smile, his eyes mist How did it all go wrong, fates twist? He lets a sigh and closes his eyes Soon his body is afloat and he flies Crosses the oceans, in a flash it does seem Till he reaches a door, in his dream Walks into the room, to be near what hes denied Cuddled, with a content smile, my baby sleeps inside
Asleep, my baby sleeps Its such a pretty sight, I could weep Cuddled, with a content smile, dreaming a dream Can I get inside your head and view the scene Its about someone near But now so far away Ten and half hours ahead This hour this day Hes going through the daily grind Making choices, using his mind He wants a breather from the strife So opens a slim album of his life Flips it through, a memory rewind So many pleasant moments, to remind Black and white hugs, colour kisses With his baby, he so very misses
Dream A Dream
Vijaykrishna Ranganathan
38
This One Kiss time, I am furiously trying to grasp the memory, so that when it top, you tell me, and break inevitably plays in my head later, it can be as accurate as possible. And yet, days later, as I sit replaying the moment, I find the details fading. While I can still feel those details those precious little details elude me. Where did your lips go first? Did you start with my upper lip or the lower one? At what point did your tongue slide into my bemused mouth? This One Non-Dream When was the moment I realized I wasnt breathing? The lights are off and I cant see Oh well. Time to figure out an Indian kiss. Maybe I can surprise you with it sometime? Oh, it is all a haze now. The more I grasp at the memory, the more I alter it ever so slightly and so I stop, scared of changing it beyond recognition. I recall chuckling the moment the Latin lothario rendering his victim breathless even as all the barriers of irony I put up crumble down with the sheer ecstasy of the moment. What were our hands doing at this moment?
Fiction This One Night your face. I do not approve. I wait for your silhouette to appear, impatiently, as my eyes adjust to the light. Too little, not enough. I sigh as I roll back into you and pull your arm over mine. Failing to resist one final look back to catch further details of your face, I attempt a clumsy kiss and go back to resisting sleep. I dont want to fall asleep. Every minute of sleep robs me a minute of this moment. I dont want to dream the dreams will at any rate be cheap imitations of here and now. No, let me stay this way.
off the kiss. Dont do anything. Keep your lips slightly apart. Dont move. And you press your lips against mine. I feel the sense of purpose, I am dimly aware of While my Guitar Gently Weeps playing in the background, and then even that is blotted out. A minute later, and we break apart. I am breathless and exhilarated. And that, you say, is a Latino kiss. A bit later and I ask you to give me another one. One of those, you know, Latin kisses I say, trying to use ironic veneer as a shield for my earnestness. You oblige, and this
that surge of pleasure from the kiss, inwardly at the cinematic clich of
This One Night

Danish Sheikh
39
Relationships In this hetero normative world, there is so little said of alternate sexuality and other ways of living than the
one man-one woman formula. This space wants to lend visibility to other kinds of relationships, to tell of different ways of living and alternate choices that can lead to peace and happiness. Do you and your partner/s have a relationship story that you would like to share? We welcome you to speak to us and therefore share your experiences with our readers to give them yet another insight into what can be. We would love to profile you with as little or as much discretion as you may want. Email us if you would like to be covered in a future issue of Sanghamitra.
often do, from one right place, right time kind of moment, all the way across in the Middle East. They spent their lives on different continents, had very different life experiences, yet when they met on that fateful evening, things came together like magic. So many adjectives can be used to describe M-- American, Muslim, Middle Eastern influenced, part black, part white, exuberant, divorced, activist, multi lingual, maternal, lesbian The list is M was raised, an only child, in a Southern town in Oklahoma by her theologian mother. When she decided to convert to Islam in her mid teens, her relationship with her mother soured and she moved in with college friends. After extreme pressure from the local Muslim community, she married, to secure a home at 15, scared and
heir story starts, as stories
endless, and all these words work in harmony in making her the unique person that she is, and they all play into her interesting life story.
unsure about her future. Though she knew her then husband from school, he changed dramatically after marriage, and physically and mentally abused her from the very beginning, threatening her life and her mothers if she was ever to try to leave him. At age 17 she had the first of her five children, and also around the same time, started
of the needy or battered women who reached out to her until they found their bearings. It was one such woman that she shared her first woman-kiss with at 24, and the effect that it had on her was completely different from any reaction a man had been able to elicit from her.
thinking seriously for the first time, Around 25, she entered into a long about whether she may be attracted term relationship with a womanto women. She was a housewife, who used to help out in local struggles, and often housed some while still married-moving in the course of this relationship to the
womens groups because of her own Persian Gulf. As her relationship
The Marigold and the Queen Bee

Vidya Pai
40
Relationships The Marigold and the Queen Bee
spiralled, due to the abusive nature of her marriage, and her inability to see options out, she ended both relationships. By 33, she took the first big step: to gain a divorce from her husband, even if it meant losing her children temporarily, a threat he made good on. She then
started to be true to her sexuality, and connected with lesbian groups in the UAE, all the time fighting for the custody of her 4 minor children. She visited India for the first time in April of 2008, and it struck her
how free India seemed after the oppression and repression of the UAE, where homosexuality is a criminal and punishable offence and womens rights are restricted. She returned back a couple more times, before making the decision to move to India in April 2009. It
was during her farewell party in Dubai, a last night out with her lesbian friends before she moved to India, that she met Q for the first time. Q is a Goan who was brought up in Mumbai. Growing up,
41
and the heartache that she felt at losing her first love. She had already lost her father, and she never came out directly to her however, she heard from an aunt that her mother had known about her sexuality all along and only wished for her happiness in whatever life she chose to live. time together that first night, what with all the revelry and crowd, they did end up Facebooking each other the next day. And since then, Q spent six years in Dubai, working what followed was lots of texting, and setting up a life for herself, and talking on the phone, a trip to Goa during this period, had another long term relationship that ended in a similar and painful way. It was (where Q insisted that M bring her to move in together. M says, From the very beginning, what struck me about Q was that connected with my kids. She balances me, and the girls really feel that they can talk to her. They understand that Mommy loves Q and Q loves Mommy, and that we both love each of them dearly. When I told my oldest daughter towards the end of these six years that she attended a lesbian party where she ended up meeting M for I am so happy to be a part of this family unit, says Q. I found in Though they didnt spend too much M a very real person and I was not interested in having just a casual fling with her. I knew from the very beginning that the kids were going to be a part of this relationship, and once I met them and I realized what sweet and well brought up individuals they were, it comfortable with. Their relationship of just over a year has had its shares of ups especially with both of them going through major life changes, losses, moves, and job uncertainties. However, they have weathered it through, and now keep a home together in Bangalore with their three girls, where they say they about our relationship, I was amazed at her saying, There can
she dated boys through college, though she didnt find any of those relationships to be too inspiring, She didnt really question her own sexuality or give it too much thought. Until she fell in love with her best friend, that is. They went on to have an intense but completely closeted relationship for four years, at the end of which her girlfriends parents found out, and she eventually chose to marry, unable to deal with the social stigma of a homosexual relationship. Q then moved to Dubai to get away from Mumbai
with her extended friend circle, and never be too much love.
mother. After her mothers passing the very first time.
daughters along), and finally a plan was something that I was naturally
she voluntarily and wholeheartedly and downs, joys and insecurities,
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feel safe, and have a lot of friends, both gay and straight. The girls just completed a great year at a are looking forward to attending Pride this year with their Mama and Mamasita. M is finishing up a course that will give her the necessary skills to open a spa, and Q is attending a bartending course and plans to find a job in that field. FOLLOW-UP: Q and M are currently in a struggle to have their three daughters returned to their care after their father took them hostage after a court ordered visit to UAE. Because of this tragedy, they have decided to both use only their initials in this story to protect their daughters. They are in regular contact with the girls who wish desperately to return to India, but given UAEs laws making homosexuality a criminal offence, are unable to have them returned at this time, despite a court order giving custody to M and the right to live with them in India. Any would be appreciated. You may contact Sanghamitra if you have any comments or advice for them in this regard.
Relationships The Marigold and the Queen Bee
wonderful school in Bangalore, and assistance or advice in this matter
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Guess, na! Rohan giggled. say... Did he also say he has never met anyone like you? That you are Rakesh sighed. OK. Let me think - unique? Bubble butt? Hot cheeks? Rohans peals of laughter sounded You are so funny, yaar! Dimple chin? Bunny eyes? I thought he was falling in love Yes, yes! Bunny eyes! How did you with me! Rohan said forlornly. know, yaar? Rohan said excitedly. Really, now? Love? Just like that? Because you were Bunny Eyes? Me! Bunny eyes! Cute, no? And tell Rakesh mocked him. me, how did you guess? Rakesh supposed the appropriate did have bunny eyes - sweet and playing that game this night. He says that to every new boy in on his bed, he said in a dead-pan voice. Hmm What else did he Yeah. Hmmm. Rakesh paused. I am realize you were falling for him... Rohan burst into laughter again. Honey - I didnt say I was falling for him! Just thought he was Hmmm-hmm Rakesh cleared his throat. I am sure now. Rohan released him, and looked at him amusedly. You are such a babe! he declared, and went off sashaying across the floor, pinching a butt here, caressing an arm there. Rakesh stayed there nursing his enviously. thing was to say that Rohan indeed sorry if I burst your bubble. I didnt rum and coke, looking at Rohan Rohans face fell as he nodded. Rakesh smiled sardonically. And literally, I mean! and laughed falling for me! Takes much more than compliments or hot sex for me to fall in love!, and then sidled up closer to Rakesh, put a black shirt, pulled him closer and murmured sexily, You should know that, darling I am no kitty cat.
conversation, Rohan noticed that Rakesh had not really been listening and that his Hmmhmm sounds were not quite as encouraging as before and his eyes darted back to him now and then from surveying the party floor. It wasnt a great place to have a conversation in the first place a crowded hall in the middle of a commercial district with poor ventilation and bad acoustics. Songs from Dostana were playing back to back, solitary gyrators danced with themselves under dim fluorescent lights. He keeps saying I am very cute Rohan went on. Do you know what he said yesterday?Hmmm? Rakesh pulled himself back into expected to say something. What?
t some point in the
Welcome to Jays world, my friend. finger through the buttons of his shrilly over the Maa ka Ladla song. enjoy the ride if you like. Quite Rakesh rolled his eyes, and went on dryly.
and I have a nice smile and all that, innocent, but didnt quite feel like
their conversation, realizing he was town till he can get them face down
Bunny Eyes
Mahesh Iyer
44
Excuse Me! Will You Marry Me?
Excuse Me! Are you sometimes tired of everyone following the same prevalent views? When you attempt to bring forth a
differing view, your ideas are ridiculed and summarily shot down? This is your space to air such views. If you disagree with established ideas or norms, tell us convincingly, why, on this page. Of course our readers are equally welcome to disagree with views published heredo write to us and defend the view you hold, whichever side it supports. Opinions expressed in this column need not reflect the views of the editors.
he man on his knees.
In the West, this cinematic moment In other words, theres a lot riding has spilled over into the real world in a big way. The will you marry me? question has itself become a on making sure we all continue to get married.
experiences such as break-ups, separations, children born outside of marriage, multiple partners and of course, same gender or transgender relationships. This and deny is the crux of the struggle against marriages for many communities, including the queer community. In the United States, the marriage many years ago by George W. Bushs unusual demand for a US constitutional amendment that took away rights for Americans. This truly radical exercise of power propelled the direction of the marriage movement, so that it suddenly became a question of
Will-you-marry-me? Tears. A breathy Yes!
We have all met this young, heterosexual, good-looking, upper-class, light-skinned couple they are sometimes in love, sometimes simply pleased with each other. We have seen them all around on film, television, magazines, billboards, maybe heard them on the radio. Without fail, they describe a certain kind of and traditional. In recent years, women have been allowed to ask the mans hand in marriage, a quick nod to the womens movement and feminism included.
moment most couples must handle, In every society, every culture, and preferably romantically, preferably in public, and of course with fat diamond rings. In India, while as blatantly commercialized, thats not very far behind. Weddings make up a massive industry whose and growing 25% annually. In the empire making 40 billion dollars a year. And thats just two countries. rites of passage, marriages have asserted their place in human significant player in the global market, marriages have the power to validate some of our most love, sexuality, family, childbirth. At the same time, the marriage myth plays a critical role in stigmatizing other kinds of human
for as long as people have ritualized power to legitimize or to negate
private moments have not yet been history. Along with being a
estimated worth is Rs.50,000 crores personal and intense experiences movement was galvanized
relationship mainly monogamous US, the wedding industry is an
Will You Marry Me?

Sonia Joseph
45
EDITORS BOX
rights. State passed laws (both for and against gay marriage) and activists and allies rallied loud and strong across the nation. And what they were fighting for was the right to be legitimate, the right to belong. The denial of marriage rights was a clear signal that homosexual relationships were simply not as authentic as heterosexual ones. Overnight, voices that questioned whether marriages were even needed to authenticate human relationships were given smaller mike systemsand told not now! In India, what is perhaps most striking is that unlike the US, the marriage struggle cannot be easily framed as a gay issue. Marriage as an institution has been used to oppress (and legitimize that and people in India. Women, into marriages; violence within a marriage has been de-criminalized and relationships have been transactions which has too often consequences. For many, the stigma that comes from not being married or being divorced is a constant burdenone that gets compounded if you do not caste, religion, gender or sexuality. Among many in the queer community, marriage is an institution that represents the primary hetero-patriarchal force and rights. Without question, marriage as an institution richly oppression) for many communities bartered for via dowries or other children and men have been forced led to unwanted and/or violent
About four years ago, Joost, a Dutch colleague of mine in Vienna (who I knew was straight), mentioned that he was about to become a father a second time. Amidst the congratulator y conversation, I happened to refer to the mother of his children, Your wife something in his expression made me drag the ellipsis to or your girlfriend He smiled, Girlfriend, he said with an air of finality. They were having their second child, but have no intention of ever getting married. Joost and his girlfriend belong to an increasing number of heterosexual couples in the Netherlands who dont see a point in marriage. As legally registered partners, their and their childrens rights are protected by law anyway. So why marr y? The Dutch laws have been accepting of homosexuality since 1811. The Netherlands gave samesex couples domestic partnership rights in 1998, and they became the first nation to legalize gay marriages in 2001. Ironically however, while the gay community in the Netherlands were agitating for getting marriage rights in the 1990s, heterosexual couples were moving away from this institution. Joost is one of several heterosexual couples I know in Europe who have kids but arent planning to get married. Whose side is the grass really green on? -A.S.
A European Anecdote
conform in terms of the right class, used to take away power, choices
46
deserves to have its assumptions and basic tenets re-examined and re-imagined. So how do we problematize the institution of marriage, without dismissing its importance in most peoples lived realities? Well, we can begin by challenging the unchecked social privileges that marriages afford. People express love, sexuality and commitment in a rich plethora of ways, but for some reason, we have chosen to recognize only a particular way of being. As a species, it is only humans who have institutionalized one of the the most fundamental acts of life sex and reproduction. This cannot be good news for anyone. that are complicated, intense and never ever what we expected them to be. The marriage myth tells us that relationships are only healthy if they are between two people who somehow belong with each other, and who have children to seal this love or belonging. The marriage myth firmly asserts that marriages happen only between men and women this myth perpetuates itself in our social, cultural, political and legal systems. The marriage myth places monogamy firmly at the top when measuring a good relationship, denying that monogamous relationships can also be unhappy and unfulfilling. It is possible to prioritize love, trust, understanding Sonia Joseph writes a blog called Cellar Door (http://indian2006. wordpress.com) we choose. It is equally important to understand that we also have the right not to. The exercise of our marriage rights cannot be a false choice one that forces us to choose between family and society or freedom to be truly happy with our lives.
Excuse Me! Will You Marry Me?
Marriages have helped perpetuate a and friendship, which contrary to myth that successful relationships what many believe, do not spring have a formulawhich can be applied to everyone. Unfortunately people keep having relationships We all have the right to marry who from monogamy.
47
a large section of the gay janta. The the non-stereotype gay man in film features John Abrahams near strip tease, showing off a wellMost Hindi films, with their an unabashed objectification of the fascination for cross-dressing, male body. The song Maa da ladla Bigad gaya is a rage in gay parties. The song -- loosely translated -means Mothers favorite son has from that party know that they are actually going home to that reinforced stereotype. The irony, it seems to me, is that Dostana is Karan Johars least gay jokes had the attractive leading boys looking quite comfortable in the compromising position that Kantaben found them in and paved Pakeezah (1972), Kamal Amrohis the way for acceptance of tribute to his lady-love Meena contemporary Hindi cinema. Kumari, did much more for generations of closet gay men who were desperately seeking role models. For years, frustrated gay men in an orthodox society
amendment to section 377 was as it is the states acknowledgment that India has a sizable and growing gay population, popular culture has seldom seen gay characters in its stories. And when a gay character has been included, most often he has been portrayed as the over the top drag queen or the lustful buffoon who hits, unsuccessfully, on the hero. Added for comic relief, gay characters are often used to reinforce the respect. No Dignity. Dostana (2008), Karan Johars offering, was Indias first popular gay film and has found support in
he Delhi High Courts
both historical and surprising. Even rounded bubble butt, and presents
effeminate queens and over-the-top connected with the tragic story male bonding repeatedly stereotype of the sacrificing courtesan and the gay character. However, very her unrequited love. This often where they spent nights with men that would never acknowledge them in daylight. In the 1980s Rekha took over the mantle of Indias gay icon from Meena Kumari with her immortal portrayal of Umrao Jaan (1981) - the story of the abandoned tawaif. The act was a repeat of the popular Muqaddar Ka Sikander (1978) where the lovelorn and heartbroken courtesan, played by few are willing to cross the line and mirrored their own lonely lives the boys, where the line between heterosexual and homosexual blurs. This was the case even in Dostana, when in climax of the film, the two macho men are drawn into lip-lock, their faces are wrought with disgust, reinforcing public opinion that homosexuality is a disorder.
been spoiled. The boys going home exact one tender moment between
masculinity of the leading man. No film. Kal Ho Na Hos (2003) gay
Cine-Maa Da Laadla Bigad Gaya...

Apurva Asrani
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Rekha, swallowed diamonds from her ring to take her own life. Once again the anguish and loneliness of the courtesan resonated with the gay community and songs from Umrao Jaan, Pakeezah and Muqaddar Ka Sikander were sung and danced to at private gay parties. Pretty boys and aging queens alike, took center-stage, and passionately performed with quivering, bee-stung lips and a longing in their eyes. Interestingly, in the early 80s, around the time of Rekhas courtesan craze, a popular film magazine published pictures of the screen diva with her butch secretary Farzana, suggesting that the two were having a lesbian relationship. The gay activist Ashok Row Kavi wrote in Bombay Dosts review that the film was highly homoerotic as Akshays gay lover in the film. This review outraged the young and yet-to-make-his-mark Saif who barged into Kavis home to beat him up and in his absence assaulted Kavis mother. History has underlined that Saif s angry The 80s came to a close with Maine reaction to the writers homoerotic Pyar Kiya (1989) and the rise of Salman Khan. Salmans chocolate boy face and a chiseled bare chest suggestion brought more attention than years of effort by Kavi. instantly found affection with the homosexual audience. The hot-bodied hunk faced very little release of Main Khiladi Tu Anari (1994) where the camaraderie shared by Akshay Kumar and Saif Ali Khan titillated gay audiences who found more chemistry between the two heroes than with the heroines of the film.
Film & Media Cine-Maa Da Laadla Bigad Gaya... A few years earlier, a film reporter suggested in a popular magazine that Shah Rukh Khan was gay. A counterpart, accosted the reporter at a hotel and slapped him. Models turned actors Milind Soman and Arjun Rampal however were quite straightforward about their sexuality, openly admitting to publications in the mid 90s that they were bisexual and had experiences with other men. The 90s also saw the phenomenon of the screen divas who made way into popular gay-stream culture with her passionate gyrating number Choli ke peeche. An established South-Asian gay club, nights with Madhuri Queen of India, a popular drag queen who dressed and danced like Madhuri then the gay divas have Naseeruddin Shah, Chunky Pandey and Aditya Panscholi scored big laughs in Tehelka (1992) by prancing around in long wigs and skimpy bathing suits. Aamir Khan also joined the crossdressing club as Julie Breganza in Ashutosh Gowarikars Baazi (1995). The cross-dressing act has, over the years, found patronage in actors like Amitabh Bachchan (Laawaris, 1981), Rishi Kapoor (Rafoo Chakkar, 1975), Govinda (Aunty No.1, 1998) Akshay Kumar and Deepak Tijori (Khiladi, 1992). Recently Riteish Deshmukh Sapna Money Money (2006). Bitchy gay boys snickered in cinema halls commenting that Riteish looked more like a woman than his lardedin-make-up co-star Koena Mitra. been bullied out of Bollywood, by bratty bad boys who gladly donned female attire, for the tried and tested slapstick cross-dressing act.
competition in the gay space till the livid Shah Rukh, like his Khan
and suggested that Saif came across that was Madhuri Dixit, the last
Kali in London often hosted dance donned a female avataar in Apna
to the social out-casting of gay men for cheering gay men. But since
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sensitive manner and with some dignity -- even if in death. Chad ki saariyan, aie kawariyaan (Leaving all the unmarried girls) Dil nu laiyaan ki bemariyan It wouldnt be presumptuous to say (Dont know what kind of sickness that most gay portrayals come with he has taken to his heart) a Bollywood rule-book that lists the following: Khwaab de maa ka ujad gaya. (Mothers dreams have been shattered) Thou shall play gay if it is for comic Maa da laadla bigad gaya, relief (preferably in drag) Thou can also play gay for villainous and frightful purposes Or Thou can play a character dying of AIDS. Thou MUST have a limp wrist and wear loud, feminine clothing And... (This piece originally appeared in Mans World magazine) (Mothers favorite child has been spoiled) Maa da laadla bigad gaya. (Mothers favorite child has been spoiled). what happened last time. What happened last time? One wonders. Ma da laadla bigad gaya? It goes without saying that the gay construct is firmly entrenched in Indian society. And it is obvious that the portrayals seem to have degenerated over the years. Films like Page 3 (2005) and Life In A Metro (2007) feature shallow and manipulative gay men who live deceitful lives. Besides a few isolated cases like Excel Pvt Ltd (2007) which addresses the common phenomenon of a gay man marrying a woman and
Cheering galleries seemed to say to not going to bend down. I know Riteishs character that as long as you play gay by playing a woman, we dont mind. Surprisingly, it is Amitabh Bachchan, the lanky superstar, who is touted as Indias most understated gay icon. Bachchan celebrated the male jodi in many of his early films, often sidelining the heroine. In fact Hrishikesh Mukherjis Anand (1971) had no heroine. It told the story of the love between a dying man, Rajesh Khanna, and his emotional doctor, Amitabh Bachchan. Bachchans jodi with Shashi Kapoor however took the biggest leap in gay Bollywood yet. Silsila (1981) has a
Entertainments Honeymoon Travels But...
Onirbans My Brother Nikhil (2005), Thou MUST hit on every other Until the rules change in good old Bollywood, the good old gay men might be searching in the dark for role models in popular culture. Till to understand homosexuality with
scene where Bachchan and Kapoor no other popular Indian film comes man just because Thou art gay. are showering together, completely to mind where the gay character is naked. At some point the soap they humanized and has a story to tell. are sharing slips to the ground and when each anticipates the other bending down, they both start laughing. Kapoor says. Im Even though My Brother Nikhil reinforces the exaggerated gayKohlis relationship is treated in a
AIDS nexus, Sanjay Suri and Purab then, mothers of gay men will have
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The Shrinking Corner Listening to Yourself
The Shrinking Corner Currently based in Australia, Aswin is a psychiatrist and a gay man, but not necessarily a gaypsychiatrist, he stresses. We have invited him use this space to touch on mental health issues of the LGBT communityto shrink away, as he puts it. This series will be looking at issues like major and minor mental health issues and their impact on the community, sexual safety, gay gripes, relationships, and so on. He begins with a discussion on the often-uncomfortable relationship between sexual minority groups and psychiatry or medicine.
ay be an issue that is the go depressed or anxious for no endogenous mental health problems can affect anybody, gay are worried about that), that can translate to be stress for the brain, which if not dealt with, over time may set off depression. On the depression (due to genetic and other brain related factors), with no obvious stress in your life, then again thats likely to affect your relationship with your partner. Youre likely to be more moody, irritable, worried, and your negative thoughts (generated by Lets look at it this way. If you were to breakup with your partner (or have a series of unsuccessful dates and mini-relationships and if you your low mood) can then translate to thoughts about your boy/girl friend and your relationship. Which might then result in a negative loop of increasing decompensation of your mind and with it, your relationship. These two instances are rather different and probably need different approaches with talking therapies. But if your mood does go down to a morbid low, then you might need medications, which work in a way that is obviously oblivious to your sexuality. It seems reasonable thatin such a situation, it is appropriate to take any mental health help that is available. And hopefully, this can happen in a setting that is gay-friendly.
closest to my heart is the reluctance obvious reason or stress. Such gay and lesbian people have in seeking help. We are so used to holding secrets, starting in we tend to hold on to most issues till they become altogether too overwhelming. Often in a world that is unempathetic to the way we live our lives, it seems more and more difficult over time to reach out when we need to. And since so much of our lives revolve around our sexuality, any problem in our mind gets muddled with our sexual identity, comfort regarding sexuality and our alternative lifestyles. But sometimes, many of our issues do not really have much to do with the fact that we could
or straight. But by virtue of the fact other hand, if you were to develop and reflecting on our life around us, and since our mood can affect this process, depression and anxiety can then affect the way we think about our lives and our sexual lives.
adolescence with our sexuality, that that we are constantly evaluating
Listening to Yourself
Aswin Ratheesh, MD
51
affect our brain adversely and take a toll on our achievements, relationships, and even the length of our productive lives. Hard as it may be to imagine, depression or anxiety can affect any one of us, despite being in an obviously happy life situation. 1. Vinay Chandran, Swabhava Trust, 4th Floor, M. S. Plaza, No. 1, 13th A Cross, 4th Main, Sampangiramnagar, Bangalore 560027 Please contact any of the following health needs and sexuality.
It is often hard to admit that we are depressed, because it comes with a connotation of failure. This comes from a notion that we, as thinking, feeling human beings, are identified by our minds, and depression thus becomes a personal identity failure. Much as a certain pride in our mental
abilities is important for ones sense Having said that, even if depression Phone: +91-80-22230959 of self, a notion of false competence or anxiety is a brain problem, it about being able to deal with even the most miserable times, can just be counterproductive. Isnt that, in a way, a god complex about ones own brain? The convoluted, jellylike and incredibly complicated part of brain that sits just behind your forehead (and is responsible for your mood and thinking processes) is just as vulnerable to problems as say, your heart or your tendons. And taking help for problems related to your brain is only responsible. Moreover, we know that untreated depression or multiple episodes of depression can Please get in touch with any of the following contacts for help related to mental health needs and sexuality. does not mean that you always need to take medications for these problems. The brain is an incredibly plastic structure and we know that talking therapies can help change our brains. If you believe that you are stuck in a rut, not sleeping well, stressed all the time or just unable to do things in everyday life, do reach out for help. 2. Mahesh Natarajan, Phone: +91-9886910917
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Comic Strip The Gay Noob
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Shooting from the Lip Chandra doesnt mince his words; hes raw, he goes right for the jugular. He may shock you, he
may say the obvious, but hes sure to make you think in this series. Read on
God ever gave mankind. For ages, men and women alike have used sex ambitiously. While animals use it merely for procreation, the contorted human mind has used sex to command power and even dictate terms bare handed and bare bodied. It doesnt matter if you are rich or poor, single or married, divorced, or even widowed; if you know how to use your sexual prowess you can probably have it all. And those who Clutch him in your arms, seduce have experienced the powerful, victorious almost delirious ecstasy of conquering the concubine in the other person would agree that sex without power is a waste. Its POWER SEX all the way. Did I over the guilt that comes with it, the moral compass misleading us him with a smile, satisfy him and take complete ownership of him. Make him lust for you, do not lust after; let him expect but never fulfill; drop hints when you hiss in his ears. Be cautious, tread carefully, and walk away with a vindication. Make him feel like a pauper, and dont wear him as a hear, Grrrrrr? Some might cry foul smirk of arrogance. A feeling of He wasnt tall, he was dark and nowhere close to handsome. I wasnt attracted to him, but there was something that I wanted to When we got back from the woods the power equation had shifted. His eyes had lost the glitter of
ex is the most powerful weapon when it comes to power sex and makes us cringe in guilt and shame. But not me, I always felt venerated and vindicated after Power Sex. To find a place in the hall of fame one needs to throw away the moral compass and along with it, the feelings of guilt, shame and irresponsibility. Power Sex, like power yoga and power napping, is short, action packed and with a high rate of return.
badge of honor. Is there a right age to get into such sexual trading? Just like gender, economic and availability status, age too has nothing to do with such power play. You have to play it right. I played mine for the first Yes, when my friends were just discovering the joys of..well self-gratification.I had already power brokerage? Blasphemy?
prove. To myself, to him, I wanted to show him the power of my hormones. He was divorced, vulnerable and it didnt take much to ignite passion in him. One golden rain in the desert was enough to get grass back to life. Feigning a look of helplessness and get an easy invite to my professors home. The next steps were easy, process driven and from my left raced him into deep woods and man did we play.
time during my first year in college. loneliness on campus, I was able to
started trading. Or should we call it brain. The energizer bunny in me
Power Sex
Chandrasekar D.
54
supremacy that superiors usually command, I could see them filled with lust and guilt. I am not sure, if Power sex doesnt mean you are he was he frightened, ashamed or shy but things were not the same anymore. Not for him. A single moment of physical intimacy was enough to dethrone his ego from the pedestal, the gap of superiority had vanished and suddenly, we were equals. Discovery doesnt happen until you are lost.. lost in power or lost in LUST. It is power sex that gets you to places where your economic background, race, color, designation, experience, and education disqualifies you. In the arms wrapped around people who might refuse to respect you, or meet with you or even dine with you. Subscribe to power sex and Rules of Engagement: a slut, it just means that you are good at recognizing opportunities and you are good at trading. You know your returns well and invest accordingly. You are just a trader, albeit of a different kind. But the rules remain unaltered. The same principles of economics and trade volatility and to reap profits you must know when to enter and when to exit. Buy low and sell high. Move your pawns and paws with a plan and sometimes it is good to Sex has the power to soil the reputation and respect of any prudently it gets you to the White House without having to go 1. Never invest over and over again through the Electoral College, like in the same company. Read: Beware Marilyn Monroe, and when used wrongly it has made Presidents pawn their respect, Republicans resign in embarrassment, and Senators cripple in pain. with the same man. 2. If the stock looks sticky, get rid of it. Douse him away like a cigarette butt and leave no room we read and heard about from the days of Magdalene to Madonna? The fluid power has written and you will find yourself Eating Out. for reignition. 3. Try and stay risk-free. Have an escape route. A relationship escape route.
Shooting from the Lip Power Sex

Try this game of Power Sex once and I bet you will be addicted to it. But learn to play it well. Before you engage in the act next time think if you want to be the real winner, How many power shift stories have think about the opportunity cost. Let go charity sex. Lets make some profit!
re-written the annals of history and Lets get POWERFUL. shifted the power equation. How living sluts in saffron robes and whites?
hold good. There is no gain without many saints and priests have been
hide and strategize before you prey. towering personality. When used
darkness of lust, you can have your of multiple mutual explorations
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Science and Sexuality Series: 1 Am I gay or bisexual? Is being gay a passing phase of my life? Why am I gay? Did my
parents pass on the gay gene to me? Is there a gay gene? Or did my experiences make me gay? Satisfactory answers to such questions are often difficult to find. Beginning with this article, we hope to discuss exactly this insights on human sexuality as obtained from published scientific research prevalence in different populations, links to genes, nature and nurture, sexuality among animals and so on. We kick off the series with the bible (!) of human sexuality the Kinsey Reports, a compendium of two books published around 1950.
Alfred Kinsey of Indiana University, and his colleagues, brought out two detailed volumes, the first one, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948), and a few years later, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1953). These were the first comprehensive and systematic scientific studies on human sexuality. The books contained information on the prevalence of different sexual behaviours in the American
ertainly ahead of his time,
Caucasian population. These studies were primarily based on numerous interviews and questionnaires from the public at large. The statistics presented and the conclusions drawn about the fluidity of sexual orientation caused great public consternation. However the Kinsey Reports became instant successes on publication with widespread media interest, taking the books to top bestseller lists (Sexual Behavior in the Human Male sold more
Alfred Kinsey
Photograph by William Dellenback. Courtesy of The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction.
than 200,000 copies when it was published in 1948), turning Kinsey into a celebrity. A new era of Sexology had begun. The Kinsey Scale The Kinsey Reports avoided using terms like homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual to describe an individual. During the course of their study, Kinsey and colleagues
Alfred Kinsey and the Beginnings of Modern Research into Human Sexuality Ritwick Sawarkar & Aditya Sengupta
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Sexual Behaviour
Exclusively heterosexual behaviour Largely heterosexual, but incidental homosexual behaviour
Science and Sexuality Series: 1 Alfred Kinsey and the beginnings of Modern Research into Human Sexuality
Scale
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 X
heterosexual (0) to exclusively homosexual (6) with various degrees of mixtures of homosexual and heterosexual attraction and behaviour in between. The Kinsey Scale thus reflects a persons sexual history rather than a fixed tag on an individual. After Kinsey, an eighth category (X) was added by colleagues to represent those who are not interested in sex of any kind (asexual). Today, many sexologists see the Kinsey Scale as orientation and sexual identity are even more complex and varied. Interesting Statistics from the Kinsey Reports Some numbers regarding population sexual behaviour are astounding: every second man around us (46%) has probably reacted sexually to another man in the course of his adult life and every third guy in our midst (37%) has had at least one homosexual
experience. In fact 11.6% of males aged 20-35 in his sample were given a rating of 3 on the Kinsey Scale. The oft-ill-informed female sexuality was also brought into some light by the second of the two volumes. 2-6% women in the age group of 20-35 were more or less exclusively homosexual. The books go on to detail the proportion of people indulging in extramarital sex and sadomasochism, in addition to sexual orientation. 5 men derived pleasure from sadomasochism. The 10% Figure Perhaps the most well known feature of the Kinsey report is that 10% of men were found to be gay. Unfortunately we may have jumped the gun here. Kinsey never used a term like gay to describe individuals. To be precise, the book reported that 10% of American males surveyed were more or
Largely heterosexual, but more than incidental homosexual behaviour Equal amount of heterosexual and homosexual behaviour Largely homosexual, but more than incidental heterosexual behaviour Largely homosexual, but incidental heterosexual behaviour Exclusively homosexual behaviour Asexual, Non-Sexual
simplistic. They suggest that sexual About 1 in 8 women and 1 in
Figure: The Kinsey Scale (The Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale). It is important to emphasize that the ratings represent a continuum, and not discrete steps or categories.
found the absence of two discrete categories of heterosexual and homosexual populations, and that human sexuality is fluid that it can change over time. Treating both physical contact as well as psychological fantasizing as equal
attributions of sexual behaviour, they devised the so-called Kinsey Scale, a 7-category-scale (0-6) to cover the full spectrum of sexual orientation a rainbow in its truest sense. The categories are a continuum from exclusively
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renewed statistical analyses suggest information came from adults only minor changes in Kinseys numbers. Nonetheless the subject is still controversial and the jury is out. Controversy about Research Methodology Apart from the criticism elicited because of the sampling bias mentioned above, the Kinsey Reports also fuelled controversy mainly because of two other aspects of research methodology. First, participation in and activity by Kinsey and his team was an acceptable part of their research under the premise that this would help the researchers and interviews understand the participant responses. The second and 1990s and involved data on pre-adolescent orgasm published in Sexual Behavior in the Human Male. Although much of this Summing up The complex and controversial The Kinsey Institute Kinsey founded the Institute for Sex Research at Indiana University in 1947, now called the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. Apart from preserving the supporting materials of the Kinsey Reports and subsequent publications, and making them available for new research, the goal of the institute is to promote interdisciplinary research and scholarship in the fields of human sexuality, gender, and reproduction. Kinsey and his team conducted their research amongst the American population in the first half of the 20th century, when homosexuality was still several times more a taboo in the US than it is today. Despite their participative methodology (that gained notoriety later) and the anonymity that they ensured, would the societal norms and prejudices of the time have reflected on this data? Conversely, if such an exhaustive research recalling their own childhoods, or from parents or teachers who had observed children interacting or behaving sexually, nine (later claimed to be one by the Kinsey Institute) paedophiles had been interviewed as well. subject of human sexuality had been looked at objectively in these reports for the first time. The scientific treatment of the taboo made these books sensational, believable yet outrageous. This solid documentation of exhaustive data laid the foundation for many policies by governments and agencies trying to tackle sexualityrelated health problems and contraception.
less exclusively homosexual for at least three years between the ages of 16 and 55. Several people have criticised this, suggesting that the high number represents a sampling bias in Kinseys data, and that the real numbers range from 2-4%. Prison inmates and male prostitutes were over-represented in Kinseys sample. Additionally, his co-workers interviewed mainly those who were willing to discuss a taboo subject like sexuality, which is likely only a section of the society. One must realise that discuss the details of their intimate sex life even to their closest of friends; moreover, the data were collected in the 1930s and 1940s. Such critiques have been partly answered by Kinseys successor Johnson cleaned up the complete sample by removing the biases in sampling and also modified the sampling process. These
most of the general public refuse to observation of some of the sexual
Paul Gebhard who along with Alan controversy arose in the 1980s
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were conducted today amongst the American populations, would the were conducted on an even more accepting society like in the Netherlands, for example? Or, in a conservative and sexually repressed one, like in India? Would a more accepting society really have an increased proportion of people with homosexual experiences, or the other way round? After all, anecdotal information and our own experiences indicate that homoerotic experiences are not all that uncommon within supposedly heterosexual men in the rather conservative and sexually repressed Indian society. Interestingly, several studies on the occurrence of homosexuality have been conducted since Kinsey on different populations across the world; however these studies yield contradictory figures ranging from 1% to 20%. Why do these figures vary so much? We can speculate,
Science and Sexuality Series: 1 Alfred Kinsey and the beginnings of Modern Research into Human Sexuality
but unless an exhaustive study is conducted with comparable across the world, such answers are likely to remain elusive.
Resources on Alfred Kinsey:

Movie:
(with Liam Neeson, Laura Linney, Peter Sarsgaard)
statistics shift? What if the research methodologies in different societies Kinsey (2004) Dir: Bill Condon
Websites:
The Kinsey Institute website
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org
Exhaustive collection of documents, publications and information, excerpts, statistics (http://www.kinseyinstitute.
org/research/ak-data.html) etc about

Kinsey and his work.
http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Alfred_Kinsey
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Manishs Kitchen We all love food, dont we? And many of us love to experiment with cookingmost of the rest of us
would like to give it a try, but are often apprehensive. Dont worry, heres help from Manish. He will give us an easy recipe in every issue for you to try out. No excuses anymore!
Make walnut sized balls from the dough and arrange apart on a baking tray. Note: Cut each glazed cherry into eight parts and press on each walnut sized cookie dough Keep the tray in a pre-heated oven of 160C for 15 20 minutes. Variation: Check the baked cookie which will have a light brown color and
Maida 60gm Coconut Powder 30gm Sugar Powder 30gm Vanaspati / Butter 60gm Vanilla Flavour Few drops Grain Sugar 15gm Glazed Cherries 5 nos.
immediately to enjoy the pleasure of fresh baking.
This is one of the easiest recipes to try as it has one mixing process and does not need any technicality. This recipe is a fun one for children to start learning.
You can use cashew nut lightly roasted and crushed instead of coconut powder. You can also make the cookies crunchy and healthy by adding cornflakes and raisins instead of coconut powder.
Method:
Mix all the ingredients (except glazed cherries) in a clean bowl and knead till they are soft and smooth.
remove from the oven. Cool completely and store in an air tight container, or consume
Coconut Cookies
Manish Gaur
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Ingredient Know-how: Vanaspati is hydrogenated vegetable oil, it is plastic in nature and helps hold the dry ingredients together, it adds to the richness of a product along with giving the cookie a crunch and texture. Sugar Powder is powdered form of sugar as the name suggests, but commercially the sugar powder is much finer that what you can make at home, although for this recipe you can make the powdered sugar at home, by grinding it in a heavy duty mixer / blender. TIP: Avoid grinding high quantities of sugar at home, as this may spoil the mixer / blender. Equipment Know-how: Preheating means the oven should be set to the temperature suggested in a recipe, before the product is kept for cooking purpose. Preheating is done because the Manish runs the Institute of Baking and Cake Art at Mission Road near Richmond Circle. product needs that temperature for optimum baking and will not throw off the process time mentioned in the recipe.
Manishs Kitchen Coconut Cookies
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have strong and individualistic personalities; they stem from the same mind. This is the story of a person who sees no reason not to to enjoy the best of both worlds. know that term, but he did know that he was attracted to a pretty girl in his school, as well as a popular cute boy. While he explored romantic and sexual arenas as an adolescent through school and Adam spent the first few years after college, it was only in Bangkok, college working various jobs: he did sales, he headed the customer service desk at a top MNC. At some point along the way, an opportunity presented itself to Bangkok liberates the inner you. It unlocks secret desires that you hold close to your heart, the ones that make you be who you want to be, he says nostalgically, when asked you can truly be yourself, nobody cares whose son you are or what you choose to wear. They accept cares whose son you are or what Adam knew since age 13 that he was bisexual. Well, maybe he didnt you with a genuine smile among after his first visit to a gay club, penchant for cross dressing. helped out with his family farm, he that he came face to face with his
door, brought up in Bangalore, educated in the citys well known institutions, raised along with two older sisters by a doctor and a businessman in a religious Christian household. She is Xara: an exotic creature
him to teach English at a school in of his imaginings, salsa dancer extraordinaire, brimming over with confidence the vivacious Empress of the night! Both these faces look out of the same mirror. They are different as night and day, yet they are housed in the same body. They each Thailand. This was the beginning of an exciting journey for him, the an altogether different shape than what he or his parents ever expected.
e is Adam Pasha: boy-next-
journey that has seen his life taking about his time in Thailand. There
My Mirror Has Two Faces

Vidya Pai
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their midst, not with a look of condescension. He decided to fulfil his strong urge to try out drag himself, and found that he was a natural. He felt himself; he loved the make up and the clothes and the shoes. He eventually started working for these very same clubs of his initiation, as a cabaret artiste. He was often assigned solo pieces because of his strong stage presence, and he would lip sync and role play to his hearts content. His work led him to participate in beauty pageants for drag queens, and as one of five Indian participants, he won the Miss Silom title in 2008, and again in 2009. This led to some modelling work as well, some of it on the ramp for fashion labels. He had shared his secret with his parents by this time; that he worked as a cabaret artiste, not just to make ends meet, but also heard of Laxmi Tripathis much persons, Indian Super Queen 2009 (ISQ09), and his heart soared at the chance to be on stage again, in return home at the soonest. 30 semi finalists were welcomed onto the stage in Mumbai, at Once back in India, in 2009, Adam a grand and extravagant event showcasing trans beauties from intermediate rounds followed, and Xara made her presence felt publicized beauty pageant for trans across the nation. Many because he enjoyed it. His parents were distressed by the news, but agreed that as long as his drag dressing was limited to outside India, it was okay to put together some money with his income and his feminine avatar.
Special Feature My Mirror Has Two Faces Catwalk and Perfect 10. On the home front, however, Adams participation in the ISQ09pageant was fraught with family drama. His parents asked him to leave their house, and also made it clear that he was not welcome back if he went on to gain publicity on national television as a man who sometimes liked to be a woman.It did not matter that his eldest married sister supported him and told him to be whoever he feels he wants to be, or that his middle sister was naturally protective of him and the life choices that he made.He spent three months out of his parents home, allowing them to live with blinders and earmuffs on. Adam remembers the times in his early youth that they tried to cure him, made him speak to a psychiatrist, and prayed profusely for his normalcy. Ever since the psychiatrist pronounced him healthy, they have preferred to take
Xara was one of four semi finalists selected from Bangalore, where Laxmi herself had come to judge the preliminary rounds. A total of
at the at the event by winning Best
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blind eye to his sexual and clothing preferences. He believes that the cross dressing scene in India is non existent, and laments at why people cannot just put aside their prejudices for once and throw their heads back and queen on stage. He misses the public outlet for his drag desires that were met in the gay clubs of Thailand, and says that the only form of expression he is left with now is in front of his own bathroom mirror, with only himself as the audience. Adam has plans of setting up a grooming school in the near future. In the meantime, the Empress will not give up so easily. Xara is made
an Ignorance is Bliss approach to his lifestyle. Despite the strong parental opposition, Adam is happy for his experience of ISQ09. Six of his close friends from Bangalore flew talks about the warm memories he has of being the topless tomboy among all the other pageant participants who would sit around and chat into the night in their girly nighties. He has always found it easy to switch between being his sultry feminine self and his regular boy self. He found himself to be different from the other participants, most of who were hijras or made their femininity
out to Mumbai to cheer him on. He enjoy the delights of a sassy drag
their main identity; nevertheless he of tougher stuff than this, and she basked in their acceptance and good will reemerge someday, to delight will. Adam has now patched things up with his parents, and they have made their peace by turning a people and to revel in her own glory.
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Fiction I walked up to her after the mostly revolved around her and her boyfriend. Where they went, what they did, where they made out, when they had sex; and she used to proudly show off her love bites. Nobody in office knew about my sexual orientation, I stayed alone, and Roshan was married; so when it was just the two of us before she joined as our lunch She shook my hands. I am Daisy, I am a QA analyst, joined the company today. I would love to meet the others after lunch. partner, our conversation used to be heavy with happenings around the world, philosophy, psychology and office politics. The light conversations about Daisy and Abhishek were a welcome break. Both of us were always curious to know what was happening in her life in contrast to our boring lives. This morning Daisy came to office Abhishek cheating on her. Roshan being in my project team and also became one of my lunch partners. She had a boyfriend, Abhishek, whom she was about to marry in a few months time. After she partner, our lunch conversation
Silver Lining
and I tried our best to console her. But nothing we said could bring any relief to her. Roshan had a late evening meeting in office, so he asked me to take Daisy out to make her feel better. Many evenings, the three of us have gone out for drinks after office before going home, but it was always the three of us, and Abhishek would come to take Daisy home. Today Roshan was not with us and Abhishek would not come to take Daisy home. So before we went out, I told Daisy that I would take her to her house after dinner. We had dinner at a quiet place and throughout, I was trying to cheer up Daisy, but without any success; then we went to a pub and had a couple of drinks. As I was driving
could not believe that I was
meeting, extended my hands and said, Hey, I am Payal, I am in the project management department. You seem to be new to the company, if you want me to take you around and introduce you to people after lunch please let me know.
going to do it -- sleep with somebody I did not love; that was totally against my principles. But after a couple of drinks I suppose your body takes over and the principles go to the back burner. It all started around six months ago. It was a hot humid afternoon and I was having a lunch meeting at the conference room near the cafeteria. As the meeting became a little boring, I looked at the
people having lunch in the cafeteria After that day, she ended up through the glass walls of the conference room. The beautiful girl dressed formally in contrast to our casual dressing, caught my attention. Not that I fall for just first glance I knew she had the air of uncertainty around her and did not want to make eye contact with anyone.
beauty and smartness alone. At the joined Roshan and me as our lunch in a teary state; she had caught
Silver Lining
Omega
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No. Do you think I do not qualify? So what are you looking for today with me - raw sex or tender love making? I dont have anything on the menu, but just keep in mind that it is my first time. She said smiling and I was relieved to see her Those were just stories I made up. smiling for the first time today after I knew you guys enjoyed hearing them. Abhishek wanted to have sex but I always held back saying I will do it only after marriage. I suppose that is the reason Abhishek cheated on me. So are you trying to get even with all the tears. with men either. What? What about all the stories you told us about Abhishek and you?
I stopped after a couple but Daisy more dramatic she became. At one point I thought it would be better to take her home before things go out of hand. Once in the car, Daisy said she does not want to go home but wants to come to my house. Once in my house, she wanted to sleep with me, not in the spare bedroom, as she was too sad to sleep alone. Once on my bed, she put her arms around me and said, Make love to me. I was shocked and asked, What?
continued. The more she drank the For that matter I have not had sex
him by sleeping with me?
I know you are into girls; there are No, you always fascinated me with many times I have seen you looking your views, your personality and at girls. Did you think after being so close to you in office for six months I would not have known? your outlook on life. My sixth sense had told me you were into girls and even if Abhishek had not cheated me, and youd made a move at me, I Have you ever been with a woman would have slept with you. before?
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Reviews Play: On Vacation
Reviews What do you do when you get two almost contrasting reviews of the same play? Theres a saying in Latin, de gustibus
non est disputandumthere is no argument about taste. So weve taken the easy way out and included both versions.
n Vacation was staged at Ranga Shankara, Bangalore on 7th and 8th May, 2010 by the Hyderabad-based theatre group, Sutradhar. Directed by
Vinay Varma, the cast of the play comprised of Shunila Kapur, Vinay Varma, Abhejit Pundla, Phani Eggone and Deepti Girotra. It is a translation from Sachin Kundalkars Marathi original, Chotyashya Suttit. The play contrasts two relationshipsone heterosexual and the other homosexual. Kartik and Uttara have been in a live-in relationship for six years, something that Kartik wants to think about changing and Uttara doesnt. Cyrus and Vyom, on the other hand, are a gay couple who have been together for a shorter period but are planning to get married soon.
A Vacation to Remember
Dhroov Q
hovering around the peak of her career, who uses feminism as an instrument to justify her iconoclastic outlook. She takes immense pride in her work, evident from the air of arrogance that she carries about her and is quite content with every aspect of her life. Her live-in boyfriend Kartik, works as a chef at sea, but is presently on vacation, choosing to use his free time to pursue his passion for cooking
No Vacation
Vinay Chandran
The first and most visible problem was the acting and dialogue delivery. Vinay Varma, the director, plays Kartik as a subdued, reactingrather than acting character till the end when a monologue finishes him off. Uttara, his live-in girlfriend springs around the stage screaming hysterically. be unconventional, she is utterly unconvincing. Cyrus is another loud character matching Uttara in
A script that comes as a breath of fresh air, making one wonder how well Marathi theatre has settled into the contemporary. An initial introduction, in which the play is stated to span two hours and twenty minutes, as if a sure-shot harbinger of boredom and poor editing, leaves the audience a little tense, but hardly proves to be so, as time flows effortlessly and the cast manages to keep the audience immersed. Uttara is a mainstream actress
How do you review a bad play? Critique its appalling script? Its poor acting? The unimaginative set design? The themes it fumbles through? Or do you attempt to perceive it as a whole object and come into force for the play On Vacation and Im not sure I want to give it any points for effort.
give it points for effort? All of these For someone who is supposed to
Play: On Vacation
Dhroov Q & Vinay Chandran
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if time had stood still all along. Vyom, on the other hand, is a history, who had managed to retain his wings through thick and thin until he was caged by Cyrus, and finds temporary release in that scarcely fail to captivate the audience. The stage is set for a clash of emotions and subsequent introspection. Over the course of abundant conversations and interactions, skeletons tumble rewritten, decisions are made and sacrifices too. The performances are just about mediocre if judged in an objective manner; however, the complexity of the characters and the theme Uttara is all too willing to get into the skin (and more noticeably, The second problem lies in the structure of the scenes. Everythingthe friendship between Cyrus and Uttara, and between Kartik and Vyom, the interludes with the journalist, Uttara as Chandabai, the constant references to Uttaras mother and volume and unbelievability. Vyom, on the other hand, takes up space effeminate by speaking childishly. The only temporary relief was Deepti Girotras first portrayal as a journalist from a local womens as a heavily accented Marathi woman speaking English had the audience in splits. Her doubleact as the suave second journalist from a more intellectual womens the audience has a hard time believing anything about these characters. their love-hate relationship, Cyruss disturbed and disturbing rants against heterosexualsis thrown in one after the other in endless scenes. No attempt is made to make sense of each, leaving us exhausted rather than fulfilled. The third and most important problem was the presentation of the themes. The live-in relationship is shown as fracturing, but uses Uttaras assertiveness as a disintegration, which begs the question: is the play about failure of communication or the failure of live-in relationships? Kartiks monologue on marriage and children, to a despondent Uttara, complicate the theme further without throwing any light on it. Kartiks friendship with Vyom, shown as a father-son bond (half the queer boys in the audience were hoping for something more!) while Vyom attempts to understand
and indulging Uttara emotionally and gastronomically, comfortably settling into whatever room she has left in her life for him. Kartik is eager to whisk away a relatively unenthusiastic Uttara to spend quality time together, but his plans must be shelved when Uttaras cherished friend from childhood, Cyrus, decides to visit for a month from abroad with an announcement to make. Enter Cyrus, an embittered homosexual who distrusts the world, and is thus eager to send himself to matrimony and a normal, conventional life with boyfriend, Vyom, for what may seem to be all the wrong reasons. His determination and attitude towards having his way in society quite mirrors traits from Uttaras personality, and needless to say, the reunited friends get along famously, prancing about stage as
youth with a predictably unpleasant struggling to portray someone
intimate conversations with Kartik, magazine. Deeptis comic rendition
magazine, however, fell flat. Overall feminist as one reason for this
out a message to society by binding out of the closet, equations are
make them worthy of appreciation. the perplexing need to present
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outfits) of her character, and the happy gay couple do not shy from sharing a brief kiss on-stage, much to the amazement of the entire audience. However, the play never once comes close to what it may promise to be. There is little to analyze and practically nothing to take away. All one can expect is two hours of melodramatic performances, occasional humor and an entertaining experience. The script carries the occasional factual error that might make the LGBT audience shift in their seats, but is irrelevant to the larger audience. The script portrays gay relationships in a holierthan-thou manner, far from the common truth, very conveniently tailored and entwined into the script to provide contrast. The central heterosexual relationship, the very essence of the play, is iconoclastically intriguing, sufficient to convey that the play On Vacation chooses not to mirror the contemporary, but create and simulate a parallel society. With a cast of 5 actors, 4 pieces of furniture and an unconventional script tying it all together, the play is not meant to be dissected but simply dispassionately examined. is almost entirely fiction and far ahead of its time. his own feelings about marriage to Cyrus, is completely pointless; as is Kartiks naming Uttaras adopted child as Vyom. While Cyrus explains that his marriage to Vyom is based heavily on his insecurity as an older gay man, the poor portrayal also has us asking if the play is commenting on the structure of gay relationships? And most of the humour in the play is situated around its gay theme. From Uttaras spitting of the wine she was drinking (in slapstick comedy routine) when she hears that Cyrus is gay, to his ridiculous angry outburst at Kartiks incomprehension, and the handling of the kiss between Cyrus and Vyom (inexplicably the only intimate scene in the entire play) all had the audience in giggles. The token gay kiss was obviously thrown in for effect. A young man seated behind me kept up a commentary during the scene, and as the actors prepared to kiss, he
Reviews Play: On Vacation

responded No!... NO!.... Yuck!, which I guess is not a problem with the play, as much as its portrayal. Uttara acting as Chandabai and her reflection of the man she works for, while fitting nowhere within the play, is actually engaging. One wishes that had the entire play been just about that. One also wishes that the director had spent some time tightening the play, making the dialogue delivery realistic, creating a more streamlined set design, checking up on facts about gay marriage and telling that cute Vyom to shut up. Because, if that boy had mouthed another Lady Gaga number (Papa Poker Face he mumbled early on in the play), the queer boys in the audience would have done some serious violence.
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Safety First Queer life is fraught with significant risks to personal health, safety and welfare, both in interacting with persons of the queer community and the broader society. In the first of this Safety First series, Mike Higher explores how the internet made it easier and safer for the queer community to know each other, and how to navigate its own special risks.
changed the way an upwardly in India. No more walking around shaded (shady?) parks, no loitering in deserted streets, no unintentional brushing against prospects in crowded buses, no night-shows at decrepit theatres screening One was no longer at the mercy of the unpredictable public or the more predictable guardians of public morality. One did not have Starting with the e-mail groups
he Internet has quite radically
It is easy to see why online cruising a net connection and computer is attractive. Apart from the relief there and cruise the old fashioned way, one felt a sense of safety in the It made it easier to let ones guard anonymity of the Net. down. Post pictures, videos, even phone numbers. access, and therefore be just like me.
specific fetishes, small localities, companies- even trains. Networking to friends of friends and in communities has enabled people to find each other far more easily than ever before. Now, with GPRS enabled phones, the guy sitting in a bus and fiddling
mobile queer person cruises for sex of not having to physically get out
and the chat rooms, now dedicated with his phone may actually be on cruising sites such as PlanetRomeo, his PR profile through his Opera Manjam and Gaydar have totally changed how queer people (men, especially) find each other. Now, with the coming of age of social networking sites such as Orkut, online cruising opportunities have multiplied enormously with communities online for What next? With 3G auctions now over, what will be the online cruising scene in Bangalore? Will we see an for mobiles, and getting frustrated at the low speeds.
Malayalam educational movies, no to worry about getting caught in walking up and down MG Road or the act in public or worse, finding Majestic late at night. None of that is needed when one can cruise from the comforts of home or a cyber cafe. Plus, one assumed that people online would be educated, have some IT knowledge, could afford oneself cruising someone who wasnt really cruising.
Online Cruising - New Frontiers

Mike Higher
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explosion of wireless broadband and GPS-based applications? Will proximity based cruising apps and all sorts of other online lures catch the Bangaloreans imagination? Imagine being logged in on a proximity based service such as Grindr. You are waiting to board huge number of other IT-types are hanging out at the bus stop as well. - it tells you who is close by, what they are up for. You check it out, chat and in a few minutes flat, you are there. Cruising objective achieved. Easy peasy. The gay baiters, entrappers, blackSounds like a dream, right? Not quite. Like everything else, online cruising has its downsides and dangers. Cases in point : mailers and other undesirables are as well. These only begin to scratch the For another, with the ease of You are horny, and the phone pings availability and the increasing it is no longer a clique of any sort So, any assumption of everybody online is likely to be similar to me just falls flat, if it ever held true in the first place. For one, curious family and colleagues may find it so much easier to discover your sexuality before you are ready to come out to them. So many have found that inadequate privacy settings have caused untimely discovery by one or the other family member or chatted with a hot boy online for weeks before finally taking him home, only to find that the boy disappeared later with the chaps laptop, expensive phone, some
Safety First Online Cruising - New frontiers - A normally cautious 26 year-old the cases that come to light. Many dont talk about it even to friends, few report it to the police. So far, at least in Bangalore, we may have been relatively lucky. Online cruising has been far more deadly other places. This is still only the beginning. In the US, murders, rapes and abuses directly linked to Grindr and Craigslist have now come to light.
jewellery and other material. The
boy dumped his SIM and his online for some people in Mumbai and him. - Another was expecting a hot 35 year old to come home on his invitation, but found himself threatened to expose him and robbed him of 30,000 rupees from different ATMs. - A third found himself stranded in If Grindr or equivalent gets the middle of the Outer Ring Road, popular in India, it is quite possible his bike stolen, and he stripped down to his underwear and beaten after having arranged to meet someone for an au-naturale makethat it becomes an easy avenue for entrapment by unscrupulous blackmailers. The cute guy Grindr says is on the same bus with you may actually be looking to rob you. surface - and these are only some of With greater freedom comes
friend, leading to major drama and id, and thats it - no way of tracing
your bus after a long day at work. A trauma.
spread of IT and mobile telephony, trapped by a group of goons who
message, maybe have a quick video everybody and his uncle is online.
likely to move into the online space out session just off the ORR.
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when travelling out to hook up. Keep some cash. 7 - Understand your online profiles privacy settings. If you are using same profiles for multiple community. Remember - Safety first.
greater danger. The clear message is: SAFETY FIRST!
Cruise online as much as you want, objectives, be very clear what is but be aware. Take care of yourself. exposed and where 8 Use protected pictures to Here are 10 simple tips for safer cruising: prevent dangers of them being copied and misused
1 - Dont put up personal info such 9 Keep contacts of queer-friendly as phone numbers, addresses etc on help-lines handy profile pages 2 - Always meet a prospective hook-up in public first 3 - Never invite an online date to your place directly; never go to someones place directly 4 - Always make sure someone knows where you are going if you are travelling out to meet someone 5 - Be sure to keep your valuables safe. Dont lock yourself into the bathroom or something during a first date with a stranger expensive phones or jewellery. If despite best efforts, something goes wrong, dont panic; dont about it. Register an FIR. Alert the Remember that anyone trying to blackmail you is playing on your fear of exposure. Being gay is no crime (though soliciting, possession of certain material etc could be) and you have little reason to be afraid: at least not legal reasons. 10 At all times, exercise vigilance and use your common sense
6 - Avoid taking credit/ debit cards, hide it. Come forward and talk
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Agony Uncle & Aunt Karan & Karen
Agony Uncle & Aunt Karan and Karen take on relationship queries from queer Bangaloreans. They are both grounded
people and though they speak in different voices, often they find that their take is pretty close to each other. If one is pasta the other is noodles take your pick! If you have a query you would like Karan & Karen to address, send in your query to editors.sanghamitra@gmail.com with subject: Karan & Karen.
puzzled me. Last week I was meeting a friend for coffee, and he was saying him that he had hot cyber-sex with my boyfriend. I confronted my boyfriend but he denied it saying people are such gossip queens. Thing is, he still wont stop using PR and of late he has started pointing out to me profiles of people he really likes. am afraid. What do you think is happening? Am I losing my boyfriend? How can I keep him? Looking forward to hearing from you. Blinded by Love. Karan Says: Dear Blinded by Love, Thank you for sharing your I can see that your life with your boyfriend over the last year or so has been very special for you. You have enjoyed living together together, entertaining together and what is happening and seems like you are afraid it is threatening your relationship. Maybe it is time for a chat with your boyfriend to be sure that both of you share the same views on what the relationship means to each of you and how a relationship mean to him? Does do? Do you both feel the same way about the long-term? Ask of yourself and of your boyfriend what exactly are you OK with in terms of activities each of you do outside the relationship. You also ended asking How can I keep him?. I want to leave you with one thought - ask yourself what is it about him that you want ear Karan & Karen,
Vipul and I have been in a
relationship for about 18 months now. He moved in with me just about a year ago. I really love him and I think this could be it for me. We have a good life - we both work in IT, both enjoy cooking, partying and the same kind of music. The sex is wonderful. We have met each others parents and they love us - as friends, of course - neither of us is out to our families. The thing is, of late he has begun to spend more and more time on PR. At first, he said it is only for time-pass and even showed that he clearly has on his profile that he has a partner and he is looking for Nothing. I was OK with it though it
how another friend of his was telling situation with us.
as a couple - doing domestic things you see it progressing. What does you seem glad that your family likes he want the same things as you them. It sounds like you were quite happy with the way things were in your life. Now, seeing your boyfriend on PR and hearing rumours of your boyfriends online activities seem to have made you question
I dont know what he wants! I him though you are not yet out to
Karan & Karen
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Dear Karan & Karen, I have been living with Vaishali for almost seven years now. she only went berserk and made it a up having a proper fight and we hit after that. No makeup sex though. I really want to stay in committed to the idea of one love forever, but I am at my wits end. What should I do? Meghana Karan Says: Dear Meghana: First of all, I wanted to say that even though you refer laughingly to the so-called Bed Death, it seems to me that it is something that is really, really troubling you. For you, the sexual part of the relationship is clearly very important. The other thing that struck me is that you say you are committed to a relationship it seems like you believe in having a relationship, but not necessarily I wonder, what is it that you want in a relationship? What are the deal breakers and the musthaves? If the relationship doesnt include mutually satisfying sex, does it still count towards the committed relationship? Knowing what you really value will be important for you to know what to do. Your life with your partner seems to have been satisfactory in the beginning but it sounds like it has deteriorated for you. Your partner seems to have lost interest in the sex and yet, when she saw you may have a spark with someone else, she seems to have been quite angered. She cares about you enough to feel jealous, I think. Originally, the term Lesbian Bed Death was coined to talk about how the longer & more secure the relationship, the lesser the sex drive seems to be. really, really big deal. We even ended with your current partner.
to keep. Is it him that you really want to keep? Or is your idea of what the relationship should be like? longer needs to be blind! Karen says: make you stupid as well? It seems slut or wants to be one! If you dont want him to be looking at other men, just say that to him. Draw the line, make it clear what is cool and what is not. If he still wants to do stuff you are not cool with, just throw him out on his ass and get as you seem to love him, he will be OK with the boundaries both of well and good - just dont be made a fool by a lover!
I know everyone jokes about it but each other though we patched up Here is wishing your love no with me it seems to have come true. I seem to have ended up with a case of lesbian bed death in a manner Blinded by love?? Did Love each other and had a great sex life for the first few years but now it just Vaishali does not respond to me at all sexually even when I make my moves. She shrugs me off giving excuses that are mostly flimsy. I love her a lot and it is very frustrating to live like this. Thing is, it is not just sex we seem to inconsequential things. Recently, I met someone at a party and we hit time talking and laughing together, Vaishali saw that and now she accuses me of wanting to leave her and how I have a glad eye. Even when I tried to talk reason with her,
of speaking. We were both really into a relationship and I am very
quite clear that your boyfriend is a seems to have died.
on with life. If he loves you as much be fighting a lot more and over
you set. Being blinded by love is all it off. We spent a good amount of
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Is the decrease in your sex life a reflection of the length and security of your relationship? Maybe you just need a trigger to get your sex life back on track. Karen says: Lesbian Bed Death? Seriously? Now just that you want to get down and at it surely means such a thing is only a bad joke. For random losers at a seedy bar. And you say Vashali slapped you? Girl, I wish I could slap you both for resorting to violence instead of open communication! A jealous room-mate/ friend? Sounds a bit strange. She certainly seems into you if she wants to fight for your lips.
Agony Uncle & Aunt Karan & Karen
Did You Know

...same sex marriage and protection for sexual minorities is expected to be included in the new constitution that is being drafted in Nepal. If this comes through, Nepal will become the first Asian country to recognize same sex marriage, and the tourism ministr y plans to promote Everest as a major destination for same sex weddings.
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same lovely high cheekbones and against the wall and smothered That particular photo, the one that reached the boy, captured exactly the demure but incredibly naughty look she cast my way, at that time making me flush furiously with memories of the green room romp of 5 minutes ago How could he not be smitten by her in that photograph? It would make anybody want to coax the sexy goddess out of her coyness and into discovering the fire that burned inside her. I know that it makes me go weak in the knees each time I see the photo. I dont blame him for telling his parents that he had found the woman he wanted to marry and insisting that they plan their visit to her house as soon as possible. So that brings us to this sultry
suitable boy had been found for mom, he was tall and strapping, and from her maternal aunts Kumar. The Ivy League educated only child of a rich industrialist father, who was well known as a philanthropist and leader of their much better than this, we were told. Her horrified response to the news two week ago, and her pleas of not being ready for marriage fell upon deaf parental ears; they were busy floating around on a little pink cloud of joy imagining their daughter bringing into their ordinary family such a famous, wealthy and desirable alliance. Of course it was her looks! Her
o the time had finally arrived. A wild arched eyebrows that made me me with hot passionate kisses. She go wet with desire, were apparently always did have a way of turning me on instantly, almost as if with the press of some invisible button. The kisses, as expected, progressed into much more, and with her my breasts at once like she loved to do, she bit her lip to a silent but intense orgasm. Having blown off that steam, she emerged into the studio area again, this time supremely confident and looking hair was wild and messed up, her lower lip was red and swollen with the biting, and her loose halfway buttoned shirt fell off one shoulder carelessly, showing off the shape of those voluptuous breasts of hers that were hugged tantalizingly by the soft white cotton their community, and somehow a picture of hers had made its way
my darling Vishu. According to her the subject of much discussion in
accounts, looked a little like Akshay to the boys household. It was a taken as a part of a portfolio that she had made towards the end of college when she was considering going with her to the studio for the photoshoot. She was a bit nervous, gum-chewing photographer was not able to do or say much to relax her. After half an hour of unsatisfactory work, she resolved the issue herself, by asking to be excused for a few minutes, while she dragged me into the green room with her and pinned me
stunning picture, one that had been hands in my blouse fondling both
community. They really dont come a modelling career. I remember
and that ponytailed, moustachioed, absolutely ravishing. Her mane of
When Push Comes to Shove

Soft Serve
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Sunday- the day that he, along with his parents, had fixed to visit and see the girl. She knew that this meeting was just for the boys side to finalize the deal, and that she didnt really have the choice to reject this boy. Her parents had already made that very clear. She is upstairs in her room, supposed to be getting ready, and I pain, am making small talk with her very excited aunt and cousin in the kitchen as they prepare for the VIP guests arrival, because I simply cant bear to watch her get ready to meet the man she is most likely going to marry. What would become of us? According to the family, I am the best friend, the inseparable other half of Vishu. They got that right. The only small detail they dont know about is the fantastically great sex we have been having for My hearts desire, my lovely Vishu, is sitting in front of her dressing table mirror in her petticoat and a bra, face in both hands, and body racking with sobs. I feel my Suddenly her mom appears out of who-knows-where, and she is clearly hyperventilating. Between gasps of breath, she informs me that Vishu has been sobbing in to get dressed or start with her make up. She begs me to go up and convince her to hurry up, because few minutes. I am about to refuse, but her mothers eyes well up with tears and a look of extreme trauma passes over her face, so I suck it up and go upstairs. The sound of the car horns is lost on us, as we kiss each otheroblivious, in our hazy state, of the world around us. Our kissing gets more passionate, she rids me of my kurti in one smooth move, and starts tugging at my pyjama strings. We move over to the bed and feverishly yank the remaining clothes off each others bodies until we are both in just our panties. I take her gorgeous the guests are due to arrive in just a indicating that the boy has arrived over 5 years now, ever since the day we chanced upon physical pleasureas yet another expression of the mad passion that we felt for each other. heart sink into my feet. I go over to her and hug her, to which she turnsaround and puts her arms around my neck. I whisper some incoherent soft reassurances into to worry, that everything would be my eyes and then kisses me full on the lips. Invisible button press. If I had a penis, Im sure my hard on would have been a rock in my pants.
Erotica When Push Comes to Shove left breast into my mouth, where I truly believe it belongs, and suck at them hungrily. At the same time Im kneading her other breast, in longing strokes that get more and make their way into my panties for a while. Her magical fingers flutter past my clit, and open up my lips, which have been thirsting for her touch. She has hit an oasis, and my juices come gushing out as she sharply inhales, shocked as always at the joy of the touch. She instinctively puts her mouth to those other lips of mine, and flicks her tongue deliciously across my most sensitive spots. Im heaving with pure pleasure by now. She has her fingers in me, drenched with my wetness, and her lips and tongue are working so skilfully to push me over the edge. I decide that she cannot just get away with pleasuring me like that, so I roll her over and get on top of her, grinding
her ears, telling her to hush and not more demanding. Her soft hands okay. She looks up at me, deep into now, which have been soaking wet
with my chest full of dull throbbing her room, and hasnt yet begun
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hungrily explore the familiar territories of each others bodies. I feel a rush of possessiveness towards her body: it was made to be loved by a woman, not by some hairy brute who would not take the time to understand the nuances of her sexual being! She is a goddess, and MY goddess at that! I caress her tenderly as I slow down my tempo for just a few into my eyes, and the sheer sex in them drives me crazy. I have my fingers in her pussy now, and she has hers in mine. I imagine out thinking about his big bosomed future wife, and wonder what he would think if he only had an idea of what she was doing at that very instant with her favourite saheli. I can almost see him in my minds eye, distractedly drinking the sherbet that her mother has most certainly offered them by now, and nervously wondering what could As the ringing in my ears lessens, I notice that my phone has been be taking her so long. Surely he has continuously vibrating on the fantasized about her after seeingher dresser. I reach over and pick it photograph He must have jerked off imagining her glorious boobs in his hands and mouth, the jackass! We giggle at the naughty thought, imagining him sitting and immediately our touching becomes even more frantic and hot. We both know exactly how up, and her mother hisses into the phone that we had better come down RIGHT NOW or else I assure her that Vishu is looking absolutely lovely in her sari, and we will be down in a couple of minutes. I sit Vishu up on the bed, hold both of her fabulously soft hands in mine, look into her downstairs who wants to make you his. You get ready and knock his socks off, my darling. Lets just get past today, and come tomorrow I will take you away, far away I promise you no man will ever put his dirty paws on your body! But for today, you go downstairs and be the goddess that you are She smiles, and gets up to put on her sari. The heaviness has evaporated from both our hearts. In its place is a glimmer of hope
my entire body against hers. Im necking her heavily, holding herby the back of her head, when the intercom starts ringing. We hardly even notice. Barely 30 seconds later, her cousin is knocking at the door, whispering loudly through the door that everybody is waiting downstairs and that her mother has asked that she come down immediately! We are shocked for a second, jolted out of our passion by this rude interruption, but she quickly responds that she will be down shortly. And amid much giggling, we resume our lovemaking. The intensity of our emotions that day transports us into a different spiritual plane altogether. Coupled with the heat of the mid June afternoon, our passion is building to a tremendous crescendo. I continue pounding my groin against hers, and our hands
just downstairs at that very instant, is applying her make up and that
seconds. But then she looks up and the other likes to be fingered, and we both find our climaxes at the same time, exploding against each others raw genitals with long loud into my arms, and I hold her, fiercely. I literally have tears in my eyes from the intensity of that earth shattering orgasm that I just had. The tears run into her hair as she contentedly snuggles into my armpit.
amid all the fingering and rubbing, eyes and tell her There is a creep
loud about him waiting downstairs, sighs. My darling then collapses
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for tomorrow. My Vishu is ready, and she looks like a complete bombshell! As I help her put on the necklacethat her mother insisted she wear, she pulls down her sari pallu just a little bit, to seductively expose the side curve of her breast. I look at her in the mirror and catch the naughty glimmer in her eye as she whispers, I will give him a vision that he can jerk off to for the rest of his life, baby, coz thats all he is going to get. Just wait and watch. I will make you proud. And she stands up and walks out of the room, supremely confident just like that time at the studioher eyes full of wildness, and her body bursting with verve. Invisible button press again. I already cant wait for the next time we lock ourselves in naked embrace, far away from societys smothering expectations
Archie, Betty, Veronica, Reggie and Jughead are about to meet a handsome new classmate at Riverdale High this fall! On September 1st, Kevin Keller, Archie Comics first openly gay character, will be welcomed into the town of Riverdale.
Erotica When Push Comes to Shove
Did You Know
79
Aarthi Parthasarthy
80
editors.sanghamitra@gmail.com and we will gladly update the list.
Good As You An informal support group for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and other non-heterosexually identified people. Meets on Thursdays from 7PM to 9.00PM at the Swabhava office and for a casual brunch at Airlines Hotel on Sunday mornings. Email goodasyoublr@googlemail.com Web www.goodasyou.in Email list Goodasyoublr-subscribe@ yahoogroups.com Forums Good As You Bangalore on Facebook and PlanetRomeo. Alternative Law Forum (ALF) ALF has grown from being a legal service provider to becoming a space that integrates alternative We are Here And Queer! (WHaQ!) An informal support group for lesbian, bisexual, transgender and
Support Groups & Organizations Working on Sexuality Issues
Support A list of queer activist and support groups operating in Bangalore. If there are any left out of the list, please write to
lawyering with critical research, alternative dispute resolution, pedagogic interventions and more generally maintaining sustained Lawyers Collective (Bangalore) Lawyers Collective is one of the leading public interest service providers in India with a proven in human rights advocacy, legal aid and litigation. The Bangalore projects on HIV/AIDS related discrimination and womens rights. Address 1st Floor, No. 4A, MAH Road, Off Park Road, Tasker Town, Shivajinagar, Bangalore 560 051 Telephone (080) 41239130/1 Fax (080) 41239289 Email aidslaw2@lawyerscollective.org
other non-heterosexually identified legal interventions in various social record of setting high standards women. Meets on alternate Sunday issues including sexuality, gender afternoons at the Swabhava office, and socially on Wednesday evenings at different casual locations. Blog http://whaq.blogspot.com/ Email whaqbangalore@gmail.com identity, globalization, media, Address 122/4, Infantry Road, (Opp. Infantry Wedding House) Bangalore 560 001 Telephone (080) 2286 8757 Email contact@altlawforum.org Web www.altlawforum.org
intellectual property, education etc. cell has special focus on funded
Groups & Organizations Working on Sexuality Issues
81
Web www.swabhava.org/sahaya.htm Swabhava a non-profit, non-governmental organisation working with LGBT issues, including providing access to support services in Bangalore (www.swabhava.org). Swabhava is the sponsor organization for GoodAsYou and WHaQ! Address 4th Floor, No. 1 M.S. Plaza, 13th A Cross, 4th Main Road, Sampangiramnagar, Bangalore 560027 Telephone (080) 2223 0959 Email swabhava_trust@hotmail.com Web www.swabhava.org SAMARA Samara is a community organization of sexual minorities and sex workers in Karnataka working with rights of sexual minorities, HIV awareness and crisis intervention. Crisis Contact Helpline 9945231494 (Samara) Address Number 9, ABABIL Patil Cheluvappa Street JC Nagar (MR Palya) Bangalore 560 006 Telephone (080)23438840/ 43
Lesbit This project fights for the advancement of the human rights of lesbian/bisexual women/FtMs, The group started under the wings of Sangama. Telephone (080) 23439124 Web www.lesbit.in Sahaya Helpline (a project of Swabhava) Telephone and in-person counseling and help-line for queer people on any issues related to their work, life and relationships. In-person counseling based on appointment through phone or through email. Open Tuesday & Friday 7-9 PM Telephone (080) 2223 0959 Email sahayabangalore@hotmail.com goodasyoublr@googlemail.com
and other women who love women. SWABHAVA Trust (est. 1999) is

Sanghamitra July 2010

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Sanghamitra July 2010

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Sanghamitra July 2010

Dhroov Q Mahesh Iyer Vidya Pai

An e-zine of Good As You, Bangalore http://www.goodasyou.in

Sanghamitra website : Dhroov Q

25 Men in Black: A Note on Justice A. P. Shah

27 365 Days without 377 29 377 and Me

Danish Sheikh Anonymous

34 Alan Turing (1912-1954)

Aditya Sengupta Arvind Narrain

38 This One Night

18 Babys Day Out

39 The Marigold and the Queen Bee

Criminals No More: Judgment Anniversary

20 Naz Foundation v. NCT Delhi A Year

23 The Naz Verdict and its Challenges

An excerpt from Prof. Upendra Baxis talk

44 Will You Marry Me?

47 Cine-Maa Da Laadla Bigad Gaya

69 Online Cruising New Frontiers

72 Karan & Karen

52 The Gay Noob

75 When Push Comes to Shove

Shooting from the Lip

Science and Sexuality Series: 1

55 Alfred Kinsey and the Beginnings of Modern Research into Human

80 Groups & Organizations Working on Sexuality Issues

61 My Mirror Has Two Faces

ts magazine-time in Queer India.

actually saw a copy and even owned Sanghamitra a quarterly, and

Sanghamitra, is supposed to be an my driving force since the past