YOUNG PROFESSIONALS NPC WOODLEY

FALLING IN LOVE THE CHRISTIAN WAY

..a time to love (Eccl.3:8) INTRODUCTION Like money, love has been one the most discussed, debated, role-played, imagined and desired subjects of human co-existence. In todays world whether you are listening to music, watching a movie, chit-chatting with friends or reading a book; it is highly likely that the subject will come up. Naturally, these different avenues of information tend to in-grain deepseated beliefs about the subject in our subconscious. Due to the notoriety and recurrence of these assertions, many people have been misguided to accept the same as well established principles of love, oblivious to the accompanying distortions of truth. Since Christians co-exist with unbelievers in this context, and deception is one of the most effective schemes of the Enemy uses against the church, it is imperative that in dealing with love relationships, Christians employ the ultimate divine antidote: Truth. Our Lord, desiring that we live a successful and pure life for His and our pleasure, has graciously provided truth in His Word and wisdom by His Spirit. This study is designed to facilitate discussion among Christians of pertinent questions on love relationships that keep arising in todays world giving rise to answers from the world system which have been misleading and inconsistent with biblical principles.

PART I: PURPOSE AND TIMING 1. What is the purpose of: (a) a love relationship (b) engagement (c) marriage

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2. In light of the purpose of love relationships and marriage, when is it the right time to start dating? (Eccl. 3:1-8) 3. Is it within Gods will for a christian to get into a love relationship with a non-believer? Why? (Deut. 7:1-4)(1 Kings 11:1-6) (2 Cor. 6:14 7:1, See AMP Bible) (James 4:3)(1Cor.7:12-16) 4. If a Christian perceives/discerns that it is the right time for them to start dating, where and how can they find potential mates? (Matthew 7:7-11) (Rom. 8:32)(Prov.19:14) 5. (a) If a christian has identified a potential mate, how can he/she initiate contact with that person and communicate his/her interest with a view to fanning into flame a love relationship with that person in the case of a: (i) Man (ii) Woman (b) Is it improper for a woman to expressly communicate a love relationship interest in a man? Why? 6. At what point does a man/woman regard a love relationship as having started: (i) Man (ii) Woman 7. What kind of activities should a man and a woman in a love relationship engage in when on a date? (1 Cor. 6:12) Recommended Books: 1. Waiting and Dating by Dr Myles Munroe 2. The Purpose of Love and Marriage by Dr Myles Munroe 3. Mars and Venus on Date by John Gray

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PART II: QUALITIES OF A GOOD MATE 1. How can a Christian be sure that he/she has made the right choice to date or continue dating a given man/woman? (Prov. 3:5, 6)(Phil. 4:6, 7)(Prov.19:14)(Jer.29:11) 2. Has God pre-determined a specific soul-mate for every man and woman? 3. When choosing a potential mate, to what extent should you consider significant differences in the following areas: (a) Age (b) Social background e.g. family background, tribe, race, social status (c) Educational and Intellectual level (d) Financial status (e) Geographical location i.e. long-distance relationships (f) Spiritual maturity (g) Psychological well-being (John 4:7-9)(Col.3:11)(Prov.13:20) 4. List and discuss five (5) key qualities a believer should seek for in a potential mate: (a) Female mate (Prov.31:10-31)(Titus 2:3, 4)(Eph.5:22-24)(Col.3:18) (1Peter 3:1-6) (b) Male mate (Titus 2:6-8) (Eph.5:25-28)(Col.3:19)(1Pet.3:7) 5. (a) List and discuss some of the warning signals that a Christian should not ignore when considering whether to initiate/continue a love relationship? (1 Cor.5:9-11)(Col.3:5-14) (b) What factors lead to brethren getting into or staying in love relationships that are evidently wrong for them? (Prov.16:25) (Prov.20:25)

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(c) How can a Christian safeguard his/her heart from wrong love relationships? (Psalms 119:9-11) (Prov.2:12-19) Recommended Books: 1. Waiting and Dating by Dr Myles Munroe 2. Are You the One for Me by Barbara de Angelis 3. Understanding the Purpose and Power of Men by Dr Myles Munroe 4. Understanding the Purpose and Power of a Woman by Dr Myles Munroe

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PART III: THE DIFFERENT LOVE NEEDS OF MEN AND WOMEN 1. Why did God create men and women differently? (Gen.1:26-30; 2:2024) (1Cor.11:11,12) NB: Questions 2, 3 and 4 should be discussed and agreed first in exclusive groups of men and exclusive groups of women before a joint plenary session 2. List and discuss three (3) key love needs of: (a) men (b) women (Song of Songs 2:3-13; 4:1-15) 3. List and discuss four (4) key turn-offs of: (a) men (b) women 4. What impact does the difference between men and women have on love relationships? 5. What can a christian do to enable him/her cope better with the difference between men and women within the context of a love relationship? (Prov. 4:7)

Recommended Books: 1. For Men Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn 2. For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn 3. What Makes a Man Feel Loved by Bob Barnes 4. What Makes a Woman Feel Loved by Emilie Barnes 5. What Women Want Men to Know by Barbara de Angelis 6. The Secrets About Men that Every Woman Should Know by Barbara de Angelis 7. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray

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