A Treasure without Measure
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About this ebook
Frank’s work on A Treasure without Measure is an eye opener as well as a ground-breaking piece of work that will help learners, educators, parents and policy makers alike. His passion for young people and their success is a testimony of the works he has accomplished and continues to pursue.
Why does the world need an educated girl child?
- Educated women are less likely to die during pregnancy, childbirth, or during the postpartum period. Increased education of girls leads to more female healthcare providers.
- Increased education of girls decreases child marriage. Educated girls typically delay marriage and marry when they are ready to bear and care for their children.
- Educated girls and women are less likely to be victims of domestic and sexual violence.
- Children born of educated women are likely to be educated as well.
- Children of educated women are less likely to die before their first birthday.
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A Treasure without Measure - Frank Nyimbili
A Treasure without MEASURE
A Treasure without MEASURE
Becoming a woman who knows and understands her worth
Frank Nyimbili with Angela Mwanza
Copyright © 2021 Frank Nyimbili
Published by Frank Nyimbili Publishing at Smashwords
First edition 2021
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or any information storage or retrieval system without permission from the copyright holder.
The Author has made every effort to trace and acknowledge sources/resources/individuals. In the event that any images/information have been incorrectly attributed or credited, the Author will be pleased to rectify these omissions at the earliest opportunity.
Published by Frank Nyimbili using Reach Publishers’ services,
P O Box 1384, Wandsbeck, South Africa, 3631
Edited by Keren Hoy for Reach Publishers
Cover designed by Reach Publishers
Website: www.reachpublishers.org
E-mail: reach@reachpublish.co.za
Frank Nyimbili
franknyimbili80@gmail.com
P.O. Box 85, Nata, Kachikau, Botswana
Table of Contents
Dedications
Acknowledgements
Introduction
1. Defining the Woman you should be
2. Get your Education First
3. Love Yourself before Anything Else
4. Have a Dream and Set Goals to Achieve It
5. Choose your Companions Based On your Destiny
6. How to Develop Self-Esteem
7. Write your own Script for your Life
8. Understanding the Teen Age
9. Sex Education and Impact of Teen Pregnancy on Education
10. Six Ways You can Help your Teen Girl to Succeed
List of sources
Dedications
I dedicate this book to all teenage girls and especially those who may be struggling with insecurity and lack of identity as they come of age. Furthermore, I wish to dedicate it to my beloved daughters, Thandie and Taonga.
Acknowledgements
I wish to acknowledge my co-author Ms Angela Mwanza for her immense input throughout the planning and writing phase of this book. Without your insight this would still be a pipe dream.
Many thanks go to Brother Kelvin Ndanji Siwale for his contribution, Miss Nicolene Hall, Miss Martha Chanda, Miss Maitumelo Sedimo, Mrs Pauline Munoakwa, Miss Shania Bwalya, Miss Cynthia Bweema, Miss Isanang Nakedi and Miss Emelda Mulenga.
I also wish to express my indebtedness to Miss Mavis Mwaluputa for her contribution, encouragement and inspiration during the preparation and proof reading of the manuscripts.
Every effort has been made to trace rights holders but, if any have inadvertently overlooked, the author would be pleased to make the necessary arrangements at the first opportunity.
Introduction
When the thought of my elder daughter becoming a teenager struck me, I felt I was not ready to face the transition and her mom was worse off. Then it hit me: why can’t I put the ideas together in a book form and help the teen girls, educators, policy makers and other parents out there who might be having the same fear as I do?
How do I even start talking about sex and describing different parts of the body to her when all these years we have treated sex as a taboo; something we have only whispered behind closed doors. I have seen teen girls that have grown into responsible women and I have also seen those that have gone astray and that constitute the majority.
But now is my turn to have one whose life I can influence either positively or negatively. Should I leave the whole job to her teachers at school? I don’t think it is fair at all; I thought of getting involved.
I started sharing the idea with former teen girls and adolescent girls, asking about the experience they had during this phase of life. The support was overwhelming and from that moment on, I never looked back as I worked on the manuscript day and night. I had to take leave from work for a week to put all the pieces of my research together to finally come up with, ‘A Treasure without Measure’.
There are many battles that I foresaw and that is probably one of the reasons I was struck with fear; I thought I would lose my little girl. We had been close from birth to this point so I couldn’t imagine the thought of our relationship becoming hostile all of a sudden. I had to come up with a plan that would strengthen and preserve our relationship. Therefore, I had to first and foremost deal with the battle of boundaries and to achieve this I had to treat her like an adult whose opinion was also to be valued.
We drew the rules together and the penalties were attached to the rules in the event that they were broken. The partnership worked well because the rules were not imposed but were born out of a round table discussion.
Those involved in the world of athletics are well acquainted with the concept of boundaries. Every sport has perimeters not to be exceeded, and when these boundaries are crossed, a penalty is assessed. Likewise, parents need to begin early in their child’s life to establish well-defined parameters with appropriate penalties (consequences or forms of discipline).
Discipline at any age simply means using external boundaries to help develop self-discipline and self-control. The ultimate goal is for your child to become internally motivated to do what is right. When boundaries are clearly communicated and understood, teens that cross the line
may eventually learn that parents do not cause their consequences . . . they themselves have chosen to bring on the consequences.
Many parents never realize the importance of boundaries until they come face to face with a rebellious adolescent. Although it is never too late, initiating proper rules and disciplinary behaviour at this age will be extremely tough. It requires uncompromising commitment to the task and humble reliance on intervention from God.
Pray for the day that your teens eventually see discipline as God’s loving hand developing the character of Christ in their own lives.
"Do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent His rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in."
(Proverbs 3:11-12)
I want to suggest that maybe it is time for us to change as well; change the way we look at our teen girls and change our overall approach towards them. Change, however, is not easy.
The changes we will witness in them are not self-triggered but are wired into them by God and so at some point nature will have to take its course. It means we need to understand the chemistry going on in their bodies in order to live in harmony with them.
Let us not wait for something tragic to happen before we can learn about life as the case was with Alfred Nobel. When you hear the name Alfred Nobel, what do you think of? The Nobel Peace Prize might come to mind. However, that’s only chapter two of his story. Alfred Nobel was the Swedish chemist who made his fortune by inventing dynamite and the other powerful explosives used for weapons.
When Nobel’s brother died, one newspaper accidentally printed Alfred’s obituary instead. It described the dead man as one who became rich by enabling people to kill each other in unprecedented numbers. Shaken by this assessment, Nobel resolved to use his fortune from then on to award accomplishments that benefited humanity.
Nobel had the rare opportunity to evaluate his life near its end and yet live long enough to change that assessment. I don’t think you and I may have a chance to do that, therefore it is important that we take action - through the interaction with the contents of this book - and make a difference. It is never too late to change. I have changed for my girl and so should you.
In every chapter of this book, I have endeavoured to explore ways of providing a safe haven for a girl child. The world is at the crossroad and raising a child, especially a teen girl, has become even more complicated than it was just half a century ago. It is not something that can be left to a very few individuals but needs all of us to come together in order to help secure the future of the new generation.
We owe it to the next generation to create an environment that can nurture life. More importantly, the battle is not to be fought from a more reactive position, as it has always been, but from a proactive position by empowering the women of tomorrow.
The ground is fertile enough for the message to be passed on and produce women of integrity - women who will earn their empowerment and not women whose empowerment will be given to them by patriarchs in society. We need women who will partner with their male counterparts in development as equals.
As already alluded to, we need to change the way we fight our battles if we are to register some success. The battle for women empowerment has almost always been fought on one front; it has been reactive and women have been left to fight in isolation. We need to fight it on all fronts and from a proactive view point. Our teen girls fit the bill and are torch-bearers that would help change the complexion of human life.
We are breaking the barrier of communication; we all have to speak the same language and pass on the information to our teen girls to enable them to make informed choices. There are stories we hear only in whispers about puberty and what is expected of these teens. They are stories spoken by selected few behind closed doors and this mode of transmission has not helped much as we see our teens becoming victims due to lack of knowledge.
There will be no more whispers in the corners and secluded places. The advent