Business Writing

English for Business
Writing Strategies Writing Unit 1
Business Writing Strategies (Introduction)

At the conclusion of this workshop you should be able to: Decide how to order information within sentences and paragraphs. Decide when to use nominalization instead of verbs. Decide whether the passive or the active voices are appropriate for your sentences. Use ergative verbs to change the focus of information in your sentences. Choose the vocabulary most appropriate for your readers. Avoid redundant expressions. Distribute information within letters Write business memoranda and e-mails
1. Structuring information in English The placing of information within sentences and paragraphs in English can be approached in two ways. The first and most traditional one is by looking at the order of the subject, verb, objects and other elements in sentences. But here we are presenting another approach which is more interested in the position that information has within sentences depending on its importance or novelty. Old / Less Important Information (1) In this context, some of the agreements relating to particular types of armament... (2) Biological weapons... (3) Nuclear weapons... (4) Within the UN, nations... New / More Important Information ...are significant achievements. ...have been forsworn. ...have been banned from outer space, the seabed and Antarctica. ...have voted for the resolutions which envisaged the eventual elimination of all nuclear weapons.
The table above illustrates how this is done within a paragraph. Lets analyse the consequences of this feature of the English language. (a) Firstly, you should build sentences which place the information which is obvious, known, or less important at the beginning. (b) Then, you should place at the end of the sentence the information which is new or more important. (c) Any new information in the first sentence of a paragraph is potentially old in the following sentences. (d) Applying these sequences consistently along a paragraph facilitates the identification of its topic (usually introduced as new information in a previous paragraph). The paragraph used as an example is about weapon agreements. In sentences (1), (2), and (3) the topic of the paragraph (known, less important information) appears at the beginning and the comments about the topic (new information) appear at the end. In sentence (4) the conclusion of those agreements ( eventual elimination of ...) appears at the end of the sentence and the paragraph, thus appearing as the potential topic in the following paragraph. (e) Any alteration of this sequence is interpreted by the readers as having a special meaning: what is moved to the end is important or new in the context. In professional English there are three strategies that profit from altering the standard information sequence for focusing the information according to the needs of the context without interfering with the clarity and conciseness of the text. The first strategy is nominalisation. The second is passivisation. The third is the use of ergative verbs.
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2011 version
Class Notes
1.1. Nominalisation transforms a verb (process) into a noun (state) and a concrete activity becomes an abstract concept. Process
To transform To integrate To differentiate A transformation An integration A differentiation
State
Nominalised verbs can become the topics of sentences and paragraphs. They can be modified like nouns (rapid invasion / mechanical finishing / production of safer products), and allow the elimination of the agent (the person or object which carries out the action of the verb: The production has increased in the last quarter // We produced more in the last quarter). 1.2. Passivisation. Passive focuses on what happens and not on who or what makes it happen. Again the agent is removed from the information. The result of the process moves to the Old / Less Important position and the New / More important position is reserved to comments about the process. The following intransitive phrasal verbs are used frequently in the passive:
Accede to Account for Act on Adhere to Aim at Allow for Allude to Approve of Ask for Aspire to Attend to Bargain for Bite into Break into Budget for Build on Call for Call on Care for Cater for Count on Deal with Decide on Despair of Dictate to Dispense with Dispose of Enter into Frown upon Fuss over Get at Get round Gloss over Guess at Hear of Hint at Hope for Impose on Improve on Indulge in Inquire into Insist on Jump on Keep to Laugh at Lean on Leap on Light upon Listen to Long for Look after Look at Look into Look through Look to Meddle with Minister to Mourn for Object to Operate on Pander to Paper over Pay for Pick on Plan for Plan on Play with Plot against Point to Pore over Pounce on Preside over Prevail on Prey on Provide for Put upon Puzzle over Reason with Refer to Rely on Remark on Resort to Rush into See through See to Seize on Send for Set on Settle on Shoot at Skate over Stamp on Stare at Subscribe to Talk about Talk to Tamper with Tinker with Touch on Trample on Trifle with Wait on Watch over Wonder at Work on
With the passive you achieve a more impersonal style than with the active. The following information indicates when the use of the passive is preferred to the active. Read it and then do the corresponding exercises. a) b) The passive is preferred when the process is more important than the agent. The car (result of a process) was produced at our Spanish factory. The passive is preferred when, for reasons of emphasis, we need to have the agent at the end of the sentence. Penicillin was discovered by Fleming, not Prozac. (the emphasis is necessary to avoid confusion)
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c) d) e) f) g)
h) i)
The passive is preferred when the agent is new information in the context where the sentence appears. (In English new information is placed at the end of sentences). Who sent you that? It was sent to me by the president herself The passive is preferred when the subject / agent of a sentence is very long. The president was distrusted by most of the radical and left-wing politicians in the country. The passive is preferred when the subject in sentence A needs to appear in sentence B with the same function. The Prime Minister stepped off the plane. She was immediately surrounded by journalists. The passive is preferred when the agent is unknown. My laptop has been stolen. The passive is preferred when the agent is indefinite or unimportant. In summary, major injuries are those which involve fracture of a major bone, amputation, loss of sight, electrical shock or any injury which results in the injured person being admitted into hospital and being detained for more than 24 hours. The passive is preferred when the situation requires impersonalisation. The results of the market research have been taken to the board for further consideration. The passive is preferred when the situation requires avoidance of attribution or responsibility. Im afraid the fax hasnt been sent. // The Production Manager was not informed in time.
1.3. Ergative verbs allow you to describe an action from the point of view of the agent or the affected by the action. The same verb can be used with the agent and the object or without mentioning the agent. Examples: An explosion shook the room / The whole room shook
Industrial coolants have accelerated the ozone loss rate / The ozone loss rate has increased
Usually the object of these verbs refers to a thing. In Business English we can identify three ergative groups that are used commonly: (a) Verbs describing some kind of change
To age To begin To bend To bleach To break To burn To burst To change To close To continue To crack To darken To decrease To diminish To disperse To double To drown To dry To empty To end To fade To finish To grow To improve To increase To open To quicken To rot To shatter To shrink To shut To slow To split To spread To start To stick To stop To stretch To tear To thicken To tighten To weaken To whiten To widen To worsen1
(b) Verbs describing physical movement

To accelerate To balance To drop To move To rest To rock To shake To spin To stand To steady To swing To turn
Those verbs ending in -en deriving from adjectives are also part of this list (broaden, lengthen, redden, whiten widen, strengthen, etc).
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(c) Verbs involving a vehicle

To back To crash To drive To fly To park To reverse To run To sail
(d) ergative phrasal verbs

Back up Block up Blow off Blow up Book in Break off Break up Buck up Build up Burn up Check in Check out Cheer up Chip off Close down Dry up Get off Get through Get up Heat up Hurry up Line up Move on Move up Open up Peel off Poke through Pull through Rub off Shut up Sign up Spread out Start off Stick in Stick on Thaw out Wake up Warm up Wear down Wear out
Ergative verbs allow a similar strategy as the passive because you can avoid mentioning who or what does the action. Examples: The production manager has diminished the output in the assembly plant. (1) The output has been diminished in the assembly plant. (2) The output in the assembly plant has diminished this month. (3) If you are not interested in reflecting who diminished the output you can transform the information in (1) into the information in (2). In the case you were interested in saying when that has happened you could transform it into (3). Transitive verbs can be used when we want to express an action that affects an object. e.g. we raised our prices Intransitive verbs cannot be used to express an action only a result. e.g. prices rose 2. Strategies for increasing text clarity 2.1. Parallel Structure: Using the grammar to create symmetric structures helps in the achievement of clarity. Examples:
"Fees and HECS liability are payable by semester. If you enrol in a program and then withdraw, the
following refund policy applies: - Withdrawal from first semester course by 31 March: full refund. - Withdrawal from whole year course by 31 March: full refund. - Withdrawal from second semester course by 31 August: full refund. If you discontinue a course after these dates and before the end of lectures in each semester, then you will be liable to pay the fees/HECS for that semester."
"Several factors govern the choice of disposal method:
- The amount of original fluid. - The quality of the waste fluid. - The level (and type) of contamination. - The calorific value, if the mineral oil is to be used as a fuel. - The general type of fluid -i.e. mineral oil or synthetic fluid. - The local regulations and legislation.
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Example of outline using the parallel structure
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Several factors govern the choices of disposal method:
"In this paper, the power dissipation limit of the TWPD is explored. A small-signal steady-state model is
developed that includes the effects of electrical propagation losses along the detector. Fabrication details are presented and experimental data show a 3 x 1250 mm2 detector with 4.8 GHz bandwidth." cultural. Here are a few suggestions of how this can be achieved in the curricula of schools:
- How much fluid will be disposed of. - Waste fluid quality. - The level (and type) of contamination. - When mineral oil is used as fuel, its calorific value. - The general type of fluid i.e. mineral oil or synthetic fluid. - Local regulations and legislation.
The same outline without the parallel structure
"Engineering education should help the engineer to move from being mono-cultural to becoming multi- More training in designing open systems taking both social and technical factors into account. - Actual skills training in solving complex socio-technical problems. - Social skills training, e.g. training in group work, communication and leadership
DIFFERENT GRAMMATICAL STRUCTURES FOR DIFFERENT IDEAS:
"The fee payment and visa process is as follows:
F An offer of admission is made to you. R You need then to pay one half of the annual fee for the first year. F An Acceptance Advice Form will be issued to you. R You can then apply for a student visa at an Australian diplomatic post."
As you can see there are two different grammatical structures. The first one (A + Noun + Verb + to you) corresponds to a process affecting you. The second one (You + Verb + then + Verb + Complements) corresponds to the subsequent action that you should carry out. Notice that this paragraph is also an example of parallel structure.
Misuse of the parallel structure due to mixture of ideas:

"Therefore, one of the most effective ways to mitigate the destructive effects of earthquakes is to improve existing methods and develop better methods to design, construct, and maintain new earthquake-resistant structures and to repair and upgrade (retrofitting) existing seismically hazardous facilities."
A correct use of the parallel structure would produce:

"Therefore, one of the most effective ways to mitigate the destructive effects of earthquakes is to improve existing methods and develop better methods of designing, constructing and maintaining new earthquakeresistant structures, and of repairing and upgrading (retrofitting) existing seismically hazardous facilities.
2.2. Misplaced modifiers. Words or phrases that cause confusion because they are located within a sentence so far away from the word(s) to which they refer.
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Class Notes
Some one-word modifiers often cause confusion:
almost even
just hardly
nearly merely
only simply
Which of the following sentences indicates that everyone in the class failed the exam?
Almost everyone in the class passed the statistics exam. Everyone in the class almost passed the statistics exam.
A word or phrase that modifies another word or phrase that has not been stated clearly within the sentence creates confusion. They often occur at the beginnings and ends of sentences and are also often indicated by an -ing verb or a to + verb phrase
One night when I was sleeping in the jungle, I heard a noise and shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
One night when I was sleeping in my pyjamas in the jungle, I heard a noise and shot an elephant One night in the jungle when I was sleeping in my pyjamas, I heard a noise and shot an elephant
I saw the circus passing through my front window. I saw through my front window the circus passing
2.3. Choice of Vocabulary according to the audiences. There are two typical sources of trouble regarding the choice of vocabulary: (a) you use a vocabulary that is too difficult for your audience and they dont understand it; (b) you try to use sophisticated vocabulary that is beyond your active knowledge (read also 2.4). In the first case (a) before writing any document you should identify your audience and find out about their knowledge on the matter and the English language. A practical approach is to restrict your vocabulary to the 2000 2500 most frequently used words in English2. You can find this list in many monolingual English dictionaries designed for non-native speakers. The list usually appears as Defining Vocabulary. Editors which include such lists in their dictionaries are: Longman, Cambridge University Press, Collins, and Oxford University Press. For audiences with little knowledge on the topic of your document or low English level, you should include examples and short definitions of important concepts. Always avoid idioms, slang, and metaphorical expressions (specially if they require some cultural knowledge to interpret them). Excessive formality can also make your writing unclear (read 3.1). Below you can read examples of confusing texts written by native speakers in insurance claim letters. The reason for the confusion is their use of vocabulary that they didnt understand:

Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to live an immortal life. I am very annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
The Internet offers several lists. http://www.edict.com.hk/lexiconindex/frequencylists/words2000.htm offers the 2000 most frequent words in the Brown Corpus (but includes names and toponyms). Frequencies from 2001 to 5000 can be found at: http://www.edict.com.hk/lexiconindex/frequencylists/words2-5.htm . Looking at the academic context the 1000 most frequent families of words are at http://www.edict.com.hk/lexiconindex/wl-1k/ (total 4105 words) the second 1000 most frequent families are at http://www.edict.com.hk/lexiconindex/wl-2k/ (total 3711 words).
2.4. False Friends / False Cognates. These are words appearing similar in form and meaning to Spanish words, but having a very different meaning. The following are typical examples: False Friend Actual Actually Agenda Argument Articulate Billion (US English) Career Compass Comprehensive Concrete (n) Consistent Crude Currently Directions Editor Engine Eventually Facilities Hazard To ignore Lecture Pliable Quarter Rsum (US English) To resume Surname To terminate
To traduce Ultimate Variance
Meaning Real, verdadero Realmente Orden del da Discusin, debate Bien formulado Mil millones Carrera profesional Brjula, alcance Detallado, exhaustivo Hormign (sustantivo) Lgico, consecuente Bruto, sin refinar Actualmente Instrucciones Jefe de redaccin Motor Finalmente Instalaciones Riesgo, peligro No tener en cuenta Conferencia, leccin Flexible, maleable Trimestre Curriculum Vitae Reanudar Apellido Poner fin (a un contrato), delimitar (una regin) Calumniar Definitivo, esencial Desacuerdo
Do not confuse with Current Currently Appointment book Reasoning Articulated, jointed Trillion University studies (pair of) compasses Understanding Concrete (adj) Firm, solid Raw Commonly Ways, addresses Publisher Talent, factory Por un tiempo Instalments Chance, random To be unaware Reading Folding, collapsible One fourth Summary To summarise Nickname To end
Translate Last, final, latter Variation
Translation Actual, presente Actualmente Agenda Argumento Articulado En EE.UU. 1012 Carrera universitaria Comps Comprensivo Concreto (adjetivo) Consistente Crudo Corrientemente Direcciones Editor Ingenio Eventualmente Facilidades Azar Ignorar Lectura Plegable Un cuarto (1/4) Resumen Resumir Sobrenombre, mote Terminar, acabar
Traducir ltimo Variacin
Spanish speakers should be careful with Spanish verbs ending in -ificar, -icar, -iar, -isar, -itar, and -izar. The endings for the Latinised versions of these verbs in English are normally -ify, -pply, -ply, -ice, -ise, and -ize. Examples: Ampliar Certificar Clasificar Codificar Desclasificar Electrificar
Amplify Certify Classify Codify Declassify Electrify
Modificar Aplicar Implicar Improvisar Organizar Publicitar
Modify Apply Imply Improvise Organise Publicize

Class Notes
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3. Strategies for increasing text conciseness 3.1. Formality versus Conciseness: In English, the more formal you are the more indirect that your language becomes. Therefore there is a direct relationship between formality and wordiness. General Guidelines on Formality and Informality. Formality increases when: i) you use non-colloquial words and technical words (manufacture instead of make) informal version: Hey dude! Lets get together in my joint formal version: Ms. Shaw, I suggest that we meet at my office ii) you avoid personal references in the text (read 1.1; 1.2 and 1.3) informal version: The manager published the results 4 months ago formal version: The results were published 4 months ago iii) you use modal verbs (Could you please ? I would like to express ) informal version: Its a good idea to start the meeting now formal version: It would be a good idea to start the meeting now iv) you use a weak style (Make a reservation; hold a meeting; develop a study; etc) informal version: We are considering a 3% raise for next year formal version: We have taken into consideration a 3% raise for next year v) you use questions to cause people to act informal version: Send me a brochure. / Remind me tomorrow via e-mail. / I want a job interview. formal version: Could you please send me a brochure? / Would you remind me tomorrow via email? / Would you consider the possibility of holding a job interview? vi) you use words marked for politeness (please, thank, indeed, etc) vii) you refer to people by using a title (Mr.; Ms.; Dr.; Prof., etc.) Informality increases when: i) you use colloquial words instead of formal and technical words ii) you include personal references in your sentences (active voice and imperative) iii) you do not modify the interpretation of the verbs with modal auxiliaries iv) you use a strong style (reserve; meet; study; etc) v) you use the imperative or statements to cause people to act (Close the window! Give me the money!) vi) you forget to use words marked for politeness vii) you refer to people by using their first name or a diminutive ( John, Fiona, and Garth were present at ...) viii) you use contracted words (its, Im, Id, dont, didnt, etc.) 3.2. Strong Style versus Weak Style: Weak style is the result of not expressing ideas with direct, straight-to-the-point expressions. It is always the less concise option when expressing an idea.
"Please make sure that a reservation has been made for a separate dining room, all the guests have been
given notification of the date and place of the meeting, and an adequate reference to the clients is made in the speech." place and date, and the clients are adequately referred to in the speech.
"Please make sure that a separate dining room has been reserved, all guests have been notified the "They have plans to develop a new design during the course of this year. At this point in time notification
must be given to all the departments involved. They should take into consideration this plan in order to achieve good international consideration."
"They plan to develop a new design during this year. Now all the departments involved must be
notified. They should consider this plan to achieve good international co-ordination."
3.3. Necessary and Unnecessary Redundancy: Sometimes to avoid the ambiguous use of synonyms it is necessary to repeat consistently the same concept throughout the text. Examples:
"The various analysis carried out support our conclusion. These tests contradict the results obtained in
previous trials, but our studies rely on improved state-of-the-art technology."
The four words in bold type, do they refer to the same topic? Our following example clears it up.
"The various analysis carried out support our conclusion. They contradict the results obtained in previous
analysis, but we relied for our work on improved state-of-the-art technology."
3.4. Redundant Expressions. When you use wordy and/or confusing language, you are being redundant and therefore you are writing an unnecessarily redundant and unclear text. Sometimes these expressions are used to impress the readers (the more difficult to read the more important the text is) and some others to hide an ugly reality (euphemisms). Politics and business are typical contexts where this language is wrongly used: In politics: Wordy / confusing expression Air support An efficient nuclear weapon that eliminates an enemy with a minimum degree of damage to friendly territory. Energetic disassembly Rapid oxidation Normal aberration at the reactor There has been an infiltration Unlawful or arbitrary deprivation of life In business (euphenomics): Wordy / confusing expression The Bank of Japan is terminating its zerointerest-rate policy Import surplus of the US Fast landing The inflation rate is no longer accelerating Stock market respite Economically challenged country Cyclical downturns Hopes of stronger profits Fears of higher interest rates Concise / clear equivalent Bombing Neutron bomb Explosion Fire Reactor accident There is plutonium contamination Killing Concise / clear equivalent The bank of Japan raised interest rates US current-account deficit Hard landing The inflation rate grows steadily Stock market crash Bankrupt country Recessions Share prices raise Share prices fall
Note: nevertheless, Economic Booms are never Cyclical Expansions; bad times are the fault of impersonal economic forces; good times the result of farsighted human decisions. Periods of falling share prices are referred to as meltdown, bloodbaths, and volatile. Prices are only volatile when falling. When they start rising again, they have stabilised.
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Take a look at the following examples of wordiness and puffed up vocabulary. These examples are real and were selected as candidates to the Golden Bull Awards (British organisation that watches over the use of clear language in business and bureaucracy):
RSA Examinations Board for Levels 3 and 4 advice and guidance standards
These are guidelines for people taking a course in guidance. Unit 4 ('Develop and maintain interaction with clients') suggests that 'tensions between resource constraints influencing ending and client requirements are managed'. (In other words, the client should know how long the interview will last.) The guidelines add the need to be sure that 'interactions avoid disabling and exploitative behaviour and encourage clients' autonomy'. (Or to put it another way, 'Clients are treated with respect.') Meanwhile, in unit 23 ('Work with the caller on the telephone'), the reader discovers that 'verbal gesturing
provides reassurance to caller of continued presence and sense of safety which provides encouragement to express their feelings and wishes'. (In plain English, you should make sure the caller knows you are still
on the line and they can talk openly to you.)
A legal opinion on a financial firm. 'If it is a breach of the rules not to reveal that there have been many breaches of the rules then presumably there must be a further breach of the rules not to reveal the breach of the rules in not revealing the mass breach of the rules, and so on. The concept of a duty with the capacity for infinite regression is most unattractive.'
There are many wordy expressions that are typically used and whose substitution by shorter expressions is highly recommended. The following are among the most common examples: WORDY PHRASE
a considerable amount a majority of a number of are of the same opinion at an early date at the conclusion of at the present time at this point in time based on the fact that due to the fact that during the course of during the time that first of all having capability to in connection with in many cases
CONCISE PHRASE WORDY PHRASE

much most some, many agree soon after, following now now although because during during, while first can about, concerning often in order to in regard to in the event that in view of the fact that it is often the case that it is our opinion that it is our understanding that it is worth pointing out in this context that make reference to of the opinion that on the grounds that prior to relative to so as to subsequent to through the use of
CONCISE PHRASE
to regarding, about if because often we think that we understand that note that refer to think that because before regarding, about to after by
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Redundant adjectives and adverbs frequently simply repeat the meaning of the word they modify. The following are examples of common expressions that must be avoided:
active consideration alternative choice armed gunman closely scrutinise complete stop completely accurate component part consensus of opinion definite decision end result exact same fewer in number firmly commit following after foreign imports fully recognise grave emergency honest truth immediate vicinity in order to join together local neighbourhood mix together new innovation past experience past history perfectly clear personal belongings present incumbent qualified expert radically new repeat again securely fastened shiny in appearance sweet tasting terrible disaster totally useless truly significant twelve noon unfilled vacancy utterly unique
3.5. Expressions Empty of Meaning. Some structures in English have only a grammatical meaning and their use is therefore redundant unless they are used for stylistic reasons. Normally these stylistic reasons are circumscribed into the area of literary creation. Business English writing is usually more clear and concise when it avoids these structures. In English you will find two such expressions: There is / are and It. The following examples illustrate how these expressions can be eliminated to improve sentence conciseness. After all, it was subsidies that once nursed Japanese and, later, South Korean and Taiwanese chip makers to global dominance.
After all, subsidies once nursed Japanese and, later, South Korean and Taiwanese chip makers
It is possible that the price of a laser printer is higher than that of an ink jet printer. A laser printer may
cost more than an ink jet printer.
There is a need for limitation of the number of users by the systems manager.
The systems manager must limit the number of users.
There is a necessity for an agreement on the delivery terms by both parties.

Both parties must agree on the delivery terms.
Summary of Writing Strategies
Discourse structure which clarifies the text when writing for professional purposes

Balance between abstract and concrete points. General discussion is followed by accounts of reallife examples. Concepts are presented through their evolution from beginning to end. Text is visually manageable. Paragraphs are not too long. Paragraphs should begin with a general thematic point, and later sentences develop it. The theme of the following paragraph derives from that of the previous one. Sentences follow the same trend. New information at the end of one sentence is often picked up as a given element at the beginning of the next sentence. Relations between sentences are made explicit by using connectors. Back cross-references are very frequent. It clarifies that a topic is still discussed and reduces ambiguity.
2011 version Class Notes
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Good Sentence structure in technical texts
Shorter sentences are not necessarily more clear (too short might imply a high density of information). Mean of 25 words per sentence is a useful reference.
Sentences must have short subjects. The largest amount of information should be placed after the verb: Incorrect: A net 62 million in extra provision loans against possible bad loans hit profit in the third quarter. Correct: Profit was hit in the third quarter by a net 62 million in extra provision loans against possible bad loans.
Points of contrast are clearly marked by comparison and contrast structures. Example: The more accurately one measures the position, the shorter the wavelength of the light that one needs and hence the higher the energy of a single quantum.
Large nominal clusters are avoided when possible. They must be avoided for non-technical audiences. They are simplified by using non-technical modifiers. Technical version: a laser surface-hardening treatment Lightning protective system High electron mobility transistor Non-technical version: the surface was hardened with a laser treatment System for protecting against lightning Transistor which allows unlimited mobility of electrons
Knowledge of certain information is not presupposed when the audience is not made up of experts. Familiar notions tend to precede new ones or contextual data is introduced before its consequences. Example: The chairman of Santander Central Hispano SA, Emilio Botn, and the co-chairman of Banco Bilbao Vizcaya Argentaria SA, Francisco Gonzlez, said they remain committed to their investments in Latin America, in spite of the economic downturn in the region..

The passive is used when it facilitates the flow of ideas or allows objects to receive prominence within clause structure.
Maintain the same grammatical voice (active or passive) throughout the paragraph, unless the information focus requires the voice shift. Two-voice version: A 3% increase in basic resources stock was fuelled by a rally in base metal prices. The base metals surged on Tuesday and Wednesday amid output cuts by major producers. One voice version: A rally in base metals prices fuelled a 3% increase in basic resources stock. The base metals surged on Tuesday and Wednesday amid output cuts by major producers.
Lexical density
Words with full lexical meaning should be in a relatively low proportion (around 50%)
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Business Writing Exercises

1.1. Nominalisation: We often use noun phrases instead of verbs to describe trends. For example.: Prices have risen considerably. There has been a considerable rise in prices. Change the following sentences to include a noun phrase. The market has expanded slightly. Prices are going to fall dramatically. Our export sales collapsed suddenly. Sales are increasing steadily. Salaries have dropped gradually. Profits will certainly rise significantly. Transform the following sentences so that you use verbs instead of nouns. Example: A slight increase occurs in the deposition rate. The deposition rate slightly increasesSimulation of the program is performed in this study. Not only is the variability of the control factors considered by the proposed procedure, but implementation of related tasks is performed by that same procedure. Normalization of operations is achieved by a simple calculation of the scores. The operator made a reservation of the ticket for me. 1.2. Passive: Choice between active and passive: For each of the following sets of 3 sentences, you must decide whether option (a) or (b) provides better topic continuity with (1). Circle the correct option.
The GMAT Registrant Survey was designed to include at least two waves of data collection from a large random sample of test registrants. a) The Survey designers limited the sample to registrants living in the USA. b) The sample was limited to registrants living in the USA. It takes an average driver a fifth of a second to move her foot from accelerator to brake. a) At 50 kph that adds three meters to the braking distance. b) Three meters are added to the braking distance at 50 kph by that. Simulation is an essential engineering tool used by both students and practitioners to gain knowledge of a systems behaviour. a) Simulation tools allow students to model a system. b) Students are allowed by simulation to model a system. These sensors employ a sensing mass which is set into motion by the deceleration of the vehicle and the degree of displacement determines whether the sensor fires. a) We can constrain the motion by the use of a bias force as is provided by a spring or magnet, or a damping force induced by a fluidic or magnetic effect. b) The motion can be constrained by the use of a bias force as is provided by a spring or magnet, or a damping force induced by a fluidic or magnetic effect.
Transform the following sentences into the active: a) Minimization of total operating costs is achieved by a planning horizon.
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b) The manager can be assisted by the proposed model so that the order size can be precisely determined. 1.3. Ergative, transitive and intransitive verbs:
Make these sentences transitive using the following verbs in their corresponding tenses: hold, reduce, raise, maintain Our salaries have remained constant for five years. The company () salaries at the same level. The temperature in the bank has fallen The caretaker (..) the temperature in the building. Interest rates have risen over the last three months. Banks (..) their interest rates. Production has stayed the same for some time. The company (..) production at the same level. The average age has decreased in the company. Recruiting policy (..) the average age. 2.1. Parallel structure: Transform the following sentences by using the parallel structure to make them more clear. a) It is a fact that engineers select an appropriate variable and the transformed observations are treated as though they are normally distributed with a constant variance. b) Those methods neither require previous knowledge of how the variables are distributed nor are the censored data stipulated to be available. c) The Taguchi approach provides a combination of experimental design techniques with quality loss considerations and that the average quadratic loss is minimized. d) The conventional approach happens to be cumbersome, complicated and wastes too much time.
e) Conventional approaches offer an explanation of this phenomenon and providing alternative strategies to solve the problem. 2.2. Misplaced modifiers:
Which sentence indicates that John earned some money?
John nearly earned $100. John earned nearly $100.
These sentences have prepositional or participial problems. Fix each one by moving something around or by making small changes.
a. We rented a cottage for a family of four with a fireplace.
b. Mr. Johnson advertised for persons to deliver groceries that have cars. c. The man tipped his hat while passing us with his right hand.
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d. The fruit had been carefully wrapped in paper that we ate. e. It is said that Lincoln wrote his most famous speech while he was riding to Gettysburg on a scrap of brown paper. f. A baby grand piano was requested by a woman with three legs. g. I saw an automobile walking down the street. h. A horse was purchased by a red-haired man weighing about 1300 pounds. i. We noticed the plane standing in the cafeteria. j. Coming up the harbour, the Statue of Liberty greets the immigrants to America. k. Lincolns famous words were read by the tourists inscribed on the pedestal of his monument. l. I saw you shovelling snow through my window.
2.3. Choice of vocabulary: Choose the correct verb from each pair provided to complete the gaps The results from experiment A and B are __________ related / relationed Adding lime to the mixture ________ its PH in the cement kiln. acidificates / acidifies We are trying to ________ the cold fusion experiment replicate / reply AENOR __________ those appliances which meet the regulations. certifies / certificates This robot can _________ spare parts according to shapes. classificate / classify The managing director was __________ in a fraud scandal. implicated / implied I would like you to ________ in the next two weeks. replicate / reply The results __________ that the whole structure suffers from severe material fatigue. implicate / imply The Toronto office will ________ the contract meeting for next week. organisate / organise Among your tasks you will have to _______ the works and make sure the specifications are met. supervise / supervisate
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Give me two more hours I'm trying to ________ these figures. verificate / verify We have ___________ the manufacturing process and we can increased the output 20%. simplify / simplificate To _________ further the situation, the order has not arrived yet. complicate / comply The purpose of the scheme is to ____________ the production in 5 years triplify / triplicate Our company intends to ________ a greener range of appliances. fabricate / fabrify After the rectifications, the model finally ________ with the technical requirements. complicates / complies 2.4. False Friends: Choose the best translation for the underlined words. 1) Acusar recibo (Accuse / Acknowledge / Charge / Endorse) 2) Esa cantidad no es suficiente para acabar el proyecto (quantity / amount / number / sum) (enough / sufficient / satisfactory / lavish) 3) Se espera que los precios de los bienes y servicios se estabilicen (merchandise / utilities / commodities / wares) Translate into correct English the expressions underlined in the following sentences: 4) No pude asistir a la reunin con el gerente de producto (......) 5) Cul es su direccin actual? (......) 6) Los maletines de los investigadores sern registrados a la salida por el personal de seguridad. (.......) (......) 7) Voy a matricularme en un curso de comercio electrnico (......) 8) Planean invertir 40 millones en nuevas instalaciones () (..) Choose the best option to fill each gap. 9) The (...) privatised so far have been the electric grid, the railroads, and the telecommunications a) enterprises b) businesses c) utilities d) services 10) We expect an (...) of more than 300 engineers to your conference. a) assistance b) aid c) appearance
Ismael Arinas Pelln 2011 version
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11) What are you working with? It's the most (...) smell I've ever had to experience. a) displeasing b) disgusting c) despicable d) infamous 12) She has got the (...) of making complex problems seem very simple. a) faculty b) ability c) competence
d) proficiency
1) Complete the following blanks with the most suitable option. The company is _____ by the Board of Directors a) guided b) headed c) capitalised d) infatuated We have divided our department into 3 _______ a) spheres b) parties c) sections
d) classes
I have been in _______ of this Department for the last 3 years a) charge b) control c) good terms d) contract We _______ all the research work for the Ministry of Agriculture a) do b) realise c) carry out d) perform ________ you would be responsible for developing the security program a) now b) so c) in this position d) then This chart ________ the internal organisation of our company a) teaches b) learns c) views d) shows The parent company _______ in Torquay a) is based b) bases c) locates
d) is carried
The R&D Department _________ the most demanded one among our staff a) takes b) establishes c) offers d) constitutes My department ________ of the security system a) takes care b) bears c) concerns The project manager is _______ by a group of experts a) attended b) protected c) cared
d) charges
d) assisted
3.1. Formality versus Conciseness: Rewrite the following sentences in a more formal style. The words in brackets will help you. a) Please get to work on time! (Employees - request - arrive - punctually) () b) Would you tell the other consultants about this please? (Inform - accordingly) ()
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c) We need more research on this. (require - subject) () d) Id like to know what you think about it. (appreciate - comments) () e) The place was a real mess. (premises - complete state of disorder) ()
f) I have received a letter from you where you ask me for a date to get a job interview. g) Send us the necessary information to go on with the idea? h) We have to get together for a chat at my joint one of these days.
3.2. Strong Style versus Weak Style: Identify in the following sentences the expressions written in weak style and rewrite them in the box provided using the strong style (Conciseness): The time for watching and waiting is over. Tomorrow's U.S. stock market millionaires are taking action NOW! Solution: acting No one had an objection to your proposal. Solution: Our company did not have then the knowledge of the side effects of this product. Solution: This flow diagram serves to explain the stages of the process. Solution: Our company does not make distinctions among customers. Solution: The damper is used to limit the refresh rate of the LED screen. Solution: I would like to make a proposal of a new model of toaster for our product range. Solution: The committee will conduct an investigation of the use of the EU funds. Solution: Can we carry out the inspection before the end of the month? Solution: The inspector reached the conclusion that it was an unavoidable accident. Solution: We need to reach an agreement with the trade unions soon or our share value will drop. Solution: I would prefer that you first do a draft of the facilities and then we can decide. Solution:
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Our client holds the opinion that the contract terms were not respected. Solution: The project supervisor has given us 2 weeks to furnish a solution for the design defects. Solution: After the repairs, we effectuated a system start-up. Solution: The latest changes in the methodology have exhibited improvements in the whole project Solution: 3.3. Redundancy (necessary / unnecessary):
Combine each sentence group into one concise sentence. a. Their car is gassed up. It is ready for the long drive. The drive will take all night. b. Government leaders like to mention the creation of new jobs. They claim that these new jobs indicate a strong economy. They don't mention that low-wage jobs without benefits and security have replaced many good jobs.
3.4.
Redundant Expressions:
Which of the following sentences are wordy?

a. There are too many workers arriving late to work everyday b. The building has a height of 934 feet. c. The author gives examples of different applications. d. The validity of such statements should not be adhered to. e. It was on December 7, 2001, that the patent was granted. f. It is used for dampening the display frequencies. g. Many people travelling frequently by plane may experience some delays, caused by new airport security measures. h. Recently there have been many opportunities for consumers to make purchases that are good values.
The verb phrases in column A are wordy. Use column B to provide one-word equivalents. The first two have been done as an example.
A
Effect a reduction in Accomplish a modification of Put emphasis on Come to the conclusion that Provide with information Increase by a factor of two Give an explanation of Have a deleterious effect upon Create an improvement in Do an analysis of Make a recommendation that Conduct an investigation of
B
reduce modify
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Conciseness: rewrite the following paragraph eliminating or transforming those expressions which are redundant into more concise.
This is to inform you that we are taking into active consideration your application for the unfilled vacancy of Research Assistant. There are alternative choices closely been scrutinised. In order to reach a consensus of opinion among the department members, we will do an analysis of the past experience of all the candidates. We wish to accomplish a modification of the research strategies in our department, therefore it is crucial that the selected candidate has a sufficient quantity of published articles in relevant journals. Unfortunately, those candidates who lack this requirement will be left out of consideration. At an early date, we will communicate the end result of our selection process. We will provide with information about the reasons for application refusals.
Rewrite the following sentences avoiding redundancy or needless formality: a) Three-quarters of those surveyed answered in the affirmative. b) Please find enclosed the decoder ring you ordered. c) We should formulate an alternative plan in the event that the stockholders vote the president out. d) Good systems programmers are in short supply. e) In view of the fact that solar energy is not yet fully developed at the present time, we will have to continue utilising fossil fuels well into the next century. f) The tests were conducted in conjunction with the employees' routine checkups. g)The report recommended a substantial reduction in the remuneration received by the vice-presidents. h) It has been brought to my attention that the employees' cafeteria needs to be painted. i) The voltage at the amplifier output is limited by means of a negative-feedback circuit. j) In the majority of instances, component failure was caused by cigarette smoke. k)Aluminium is used for transmission lines in order to reduce weight and corrosion. l) The new project is designed to institute improvements in the taste of cat food. m) Prior to the time when the chairman of the board submitted his resignation, stockholders were of the opinion that it was time for a change. n) In the event that the photo lab cannot accommodate the increased work load, it is within the realm of possibility that their facility will be enlarged. ) Please call me at your earliest convenience. o) The number of stars in our galaxy is of the order of magnitude of a hundred million. p) The two results are found to be in agreement. q) The chemicals exhibit a tendency to accumulate in the liver.
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r) This is to acknowledge receipt of your order for a new model 505 copier. s) It has been shown by Smith and Brown that high-speed neutrons retard the spoilage of guacamole. t) Building a microcomputer involves the necessity of packing thousands of components on microscopic chips of silicon. u) The team decided to perform an analysis of the car's wind resistance for the purpose of reducing aerodynamic drag.
3.5.
Expressions Empty of meaning: Transform the following sentences so you eliminate empty expressions. It is necessary that negotiations on the final conditions be undertaken by both sides immediately. It is critical that consideration is made by the systems manager on the current status of the program. There are profit margins at their highest point since the early 1970s, but they are only half of those of American competitors. There are smokestack industries restructuring as never before. There was an attempt to reconcile the positions of both parties. It is important that cooperation with each other be the focus of the study group. It could happen that a decision to cancel the exhibition is reached by the committee. Paragraph structure: The following paragraphs are a good example of the typical distribution of information in English. Identify what is the topic of each paragraph. Explain how did you identify the topic. And for each sentence indicate how the old/unimportant information first new/important information at the end scheme is reflected. Paragraph 1 1 Shortly after Jrgen Dormann took over at Hoechst in 1994, he made a big decision. 2 With 16 different businesses to its name, ranging from photocopiers and cosmetics to dyes and drugs, the German chemicals group was far too diversified. 3 Its future, he figured, lay in pharmaceuticals, which at that time accounted for only a fifth of its turnover. Paragraph 2 In 1997, a restructuring plan involving the spin-off of several divisions was put before analysts, who lapped it up. But then things started going wrong. Egged on by politicians, Hoechsts unions went on the offensive. As the overhaul was taking shape, but before anyone had been fired, a group of 8,000 angry demonstrators marched on the companys headquarters to protest against the dismantling of a great industrial name. Mr. Dormann held firm, but the share price wobbled, reflecting investors belief that he would have trouble implementing the plan.
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2011 version
Class Notes

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English for Business

Writing Strategies Writing Unit 1