Folly Beachs Newspaper

Vol. 3 Issue 24 September 16, 2011 w FREE

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E Bocce Blowout page 13 Mexican nature page 15 washed away page 3
Sheriff continued on page 4
T
he similarities are hard to ignore. For
starters, both Folly Beach Director
of Public Safety Dennis Brown and
fctional lawman Andy Taylor both speak
with a down-home, southern twang. Like
the popular television sherif, Brown doesnt
carry a weapon while on duty. He actually
hails from a small town Tomasville,
North Carolina located about thirty
minutes from where the fctitious town
of Mayberry, North Carolina supposedly
existed. He even has the whistling themed
song of Te Andy Grifth Show as the
ringtone on his cell phone.
Even though Brown is the face of law
and order for a community often referred
to as Mayberry by the Beach, hell be
the frst to tell you; hes no Andy Grifth
peacemaker. To Brown, Folly Beach is
more like Disneyland than Mayberry. Its
a place where people come to have fun
and enjoy the sights while a team of hard
working people do their jobs to make sure
everyone has a safe and memorable Folly
Beach experience.
Chief Dennis Brown took over the reins
of the Public Safety Department on April
1. Upon his arrival, a suggestion was made
to the new director that it would perhaps
best serve the community if the police and
fre departments remained separate. After
giving ear to such recommendations, the
26-year law enforcement veteran decided
that keeping the departments separate
was not the best option. He decided
to utilize and maximize the current
resources the city already had, rather
than create more bureaucracy.
According to
Chief Brown, who
serves as chief of
both the police and
fre departments, new
employees will no longer
be hired on the basis of
doing just one thing; that
employee will have to
work wearing diferent
hats. Police ofcers
will have to fght
C at C h i n g U p Wi t h p o l i C e C h i e f D e n n i s B r o Wn
a f t e r h i s f i r s t s U mme r o n f o l l y
By Joel Flores
The New Sheriff in Town
Ophelia...Philippe...Rina ... etc
2 September 16, 2011
WWW.FOLLYCURRENT.COM
ci vi c
Filing Closes for City
Council Special Election
D
uring the wee hours of Friday, September 9, a vehicle struck the fence at the
new West Cooper Avenue playground. Jerry Poore, the volunteer landscaper
for the park, had just completed the frontage for the park that afternoon.
Sharon Halley, along with Mary Ohl of the Parks and Recreation Committee and
Eric Lutz have
been working
to see fnal
i mpr ov e me nt s
completed on this
project designed
for the pleasure
of Folly's children
since opening
this spring. No
suspects are
known at this
time.
West Cooper Playground
Hit By Vehicle
PROVDED BY CHARLES MCCARTY
T
he replacement for former City Council member Laura Beck's vacated seat
will be decided in an election on Tuesday, November 8.
Friday, October 7 is the last day to register to vote in person in time for
the election, and Oct. 8 is the deadline by mail. Voting will occur at the Baptist
Fellowship Hall, with polls opening from 7 am to 7 pm on the 8
th
.
Te candidates for the open
City Council seat are:
Vernon Knox - 216 West Cooper Ave.
Sandra Hickman - 710 East Eerie Ave.
Dale Stuckey - 11 Red Sunset Ln.
Alan Kleinfeld - PO Box 394
Lewis Dodson - 512 East Cooper Ave.
September 16, 2011 3
Lucky Dog Publishing, LLC
Publishers of The Folly Current, The Island
Eye News and the Island Connection.
Lynn Pierotti
publisher
lynn@luckydognews.com

Stratton Lawrence
editor
stratton@luckydognews.com
Blake Bunch
associate editor
blake@luckydognews.com

Swan Richards
senior graphic designer
swan@luckydognews.com
Lori Dalton
sales manager
lori@luckydognews.com
Richard Brendel
advertising
843-478-0896
richard@luckydognews.comRichard
Brendel
advertising
843-478-0896
richard@luckydognews.com
Melissa Caloca
intern
melissa@luckydognews.com
Contributors
Jacob Flannick
Justin Morris
Nicolas Lempesis
Joel Flores
Julia Scott
Dean Sutton
Jud Bushkar
Heather Johnson
Fay A.
Megan Caroll
Anton Dumars
Smoky Weiner
David Crawford
Robert Bohrn
Becky Sparks
Published by
Lucky Dog Publishing
of South Carolina, LLC
P.O. Box 837
Sullivans Island, SC 29482
843-886-NEWS
September 30 Paper Deadline is
September 21 for Submissions
The Folly Current, a wholly owned sub-
sidiary of Lucky Dog Publishing of South
Carolina LLC, is a free, independent news-
paper published every two weeks and is for
and about Folly Beach. Copies are mailed
free of charge to every active mailbox in
our coverage area and are also available at
area businesses and by subscription to non-
islanders. Subscriptions are $39 per year for
non-residents and are available by sending
a check to Lucky Dog Publishing, LLC, P.O.
Box 837, Sullivans Island, SC 29482. Our
editorial content is primarily dedicated to
the area of distribution; ad space is open to
all businesses who want to reach the Folly
Beach market. Complete ad creation is
$50, however, changes of up to 30% of the
original ad are included at no extra cost. All
advertising rates are listed at
www.islandeyenews.com
under advertising.
CI VI C
H
urricane Irene may not have
attacked Folly Beach head on,
but it dealt a side swipe with its
turbulent waters that ate away at huge
chunks of the islands beach. Folly Beach
County Park was among the worst hit
areas. Te storm left behind walkways
suspended eerily over a dozen feet of empty
space where dunes once stood.
Te county announced on September
2 that the park would be closed for the
duration of 2011 for repairs, and dump
trucks have since commenced shipping
sand in to fortify whats left of the sliver
of beach.
Tat announcement came in
conjunction with the kickof of Labor
Day weekend, a crucial tourist infux for
Folly businesses hunkering down for the
of-season. Te city sent out a press release
acknowledging hype going around
that the beach would be closed for the
weekend, and denying those rumors.
But residents and those that have visited
the beach since Irene are crowded into
smaller areas than before. At high tide,
waves clip at rocks at the Washout, where
virtually no beach remains. Two homes at
the islands far east end sufered most from
the storm, with at least one losing its A/C
unit as waves washed underneath.
Even before Irene, Folly Beach already
met the erosion parameters required to
request funding for a renourishment
project through the Army Corps of
Engineers, says Mayor Tim Goodwin.
Te storm simply exacerbated an existing
problem.
On Tuesday, September 6, Goodwin
hosted state Sen. Chip Campsen (R Isle
of Palms), Jennifer Hightower, regional
director for U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint (R
S.C.), and Kathy Crawford, district director
for U.S. Rep. Tim Scott (R Charleston)
on a tour of the damaged beach.
Folly is a unique case, said Campsen,
explaining the islands agreement with
the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers that
acknowledges the federal governments
responsibility for renourishing Folly, due to
the detrimental efect that the placement of
the Charleston Harbor jetties has on accretion
on the island (a 1992 study attributes 57
percent of Follys erosion problems to the
jetties, constructed in 1896).
Te federal government pays 85
percent of renourishment costs, according
to the agreement, while the city covers
the remaining 15 percent. Folly frst
received renourishment in 1993, and sets
funds aside each year for future projects.
Currently, in conjunction with $660,000
supplied by Charleston County Parks
and Recreation, Folly has $2,560,000
budgeted and ready for renourishment,
just $140,000 shy of the funds needed for
the projected $18 million project.
Although Folly could use renourishment
immediately, the soonest Mayor Goodwin
anticipates receiving federal funds is within
the 2013 federal budget, determined at the
onset of the 2012 fscal year.
Te time is getting closer and closer
to when we need to get everything really
ramped up, says Goodwin, who says that
despite extensive damage from Irene, S.C.
doesnt qualify as a disaster area and thus
has to wait on funding through the regular
budget. But when you look at the end of
the island and the breakers are breaking
directly into the river, you know youve
got trouble.
Tim Scott representative Crawford said
that she would begin inquiring with the
Army Corps about their 2013 budget,
assuring that Folly Beach was included.
Goodwin raised concerns that Folly could
be overlooked, with priorities being placed
on dredging Charleston Harbor to meet
the completion of the Panama Canal
widening.
We dont want to get lost in the
shufe, says Goodwin.
Campsen reiterated the federal
governments obligation to Folly, clarifying
that a contractual agreement written into
a budget is not an earmark and that the
project isnt something covertly slipped
into the budget.
Built On A Sandy Foundation
C i t y G e t s B a l l R o l l i n G o n R e n o u R i s h me n t R e q u e s t
By STRATTON LAWRENCE
State Sen. Chip Campsen scans the damage at the Folly Beach County Park
fres and dispatch. Firefghters will have
to become what is called limited sworn
ofcers so they can help with some things
that concern the beach, like parking. With
all Public Safety members participating
in this type of cross-training, they will
become better aware of just how important
each others job is and how it impacts our
community.
Another resource Brown plans to
continue utilizing is the Beach Management
Patrol (BMP). As ambassadors of the beach,
this group helps maintain a proactive
approach toward the issues concerning
the beach by communicating with a smile
and a trash bag, rather than a threat of a
possible fne.
Public Safety will always be a work in
progress, says Brown Once we stop
moving forward. Tats when we start
moving backward. To maintain the
Police/Fire/BMP team efort, the North
Carolina native plans to put forth a series
of ideas into fruition. For example, by
next season, Chief Brown plans on having
all BMP members CPR-trained. During
the of season, ofcers will be required to
perform one foot patrol per shift to help
foster a bond between the community
and its public safety department. Brown
hopes this initiative will provide the
shop-keepers and citizens an opportunity
to approach their public servants in a
non-confrontational and non-emergency
setting, thus improving dialogue between
the two parties.
Also, in an efort to build a bridge
between the people of Folly Beach and the
Public Safety Department, Chief Brown
is extending the space and capacity of
the Public Safety training room and its
availability to anyone in the Folly Beach
community for parties, meetings, social
gatherings and other community uses.
One of the frst initiatives taken by
the new Director to make this positive
interaction possible was to make his
ofcers more approachable, starting with
their appearance. Te staf has been very
receptive of uniform changes aimed
at improving ofcer morale and the
conditions they work under. Chief Brown
had the department change from the dark,
traditional military oriented uniforms to
the more relaxed, comfortable, shorts-
sporting uniforms already seen on our
men and women in blue this summer.
(Appropriately enough, its a shade of blue
that says Yes. I serve and protect a beach
community while perhaps also proudly
proclaiming Go Carolina Panthers!)
With the much more relaxed uniform,
Brown hopes his staf will come across as
more engaging. Hes encouraging FBs
fnest to go out and be more interactive
with the people of the community.
I dont believe in forced compliance. I
believe in voluntary compliance, the chief
explains. Were not here to write tickets.
Browns hope is that when approached
by an ofcer, the party in question will
voluntarily rectify the situation so that the
ofcer wont have to.
In regards to the Fire Department, the
issue wasnt the type of uniform the fre
fghters were wearing so much as it was
the lack of uniforms. For the last ten years,
Folly Beach fre department personnel had
no uniforms. Tanks to Chief Browns
eforts, now they do.
With on-going hot-button issues such
as drinking on the beach, litter on the
beach, and dogs on a leash, Chief Brown
believes that between the facilities, the
training and resources made available
for he and his staf, the Public Safety
Department will succeed in meeting the
will of the people when it comes to dealing
with these and other beach related matters.
In fact, with all of these items, the biggest
challenge Chief Brown foresees involves
the return of the dispatch system and
how to make sure all the entities that fall
under the Public Safety umbrella get equal
treatment upon its return.
Finally, ask Chief Dennis Brown why he
doesnt carry a gun while on duty and hell
tell you its a distraction. In his experience,
a sidearm has only proven to be a diversion
of ones attention from what he is trying to
say to Oooo. Look! A gun!
Talking to the people of Folly Beach
is something Chief Brown hopes to do
even more now that the season has passed.
Especially since Folly Beach is now both
Chief Browns place of employment and
home to he and his wife, Amanda, and
their two dogs. But, he doesnt want to
be the only one doing all the talking. In
fact, if you happen to catch Chief Brown
taking a walk around the streets of Folly
Beach, dont be afraid to address our new
chief as Dennis.
Only the people I work with call me
Chief . Everyone else calls me Dennis.
he remarks, adding that he hopes Follys
citizens will want to know who their
director of Public Safety is and feel
comfortable approaching him with a
friendly Hey! Te way our new Director
of Public Safety sees it, when it comes to
Folly Beach, Its my hometown now.
4 September 16, 2011
WWW.FOLLYCURRENT.COM
Sheriff continued from cover
Sheriff Dennis Brown at work.
F
all is fnally here! Te fne fshing
that accompanies this change in
season has already begun. No more
need to be on the water at frst light to
scratch out a few hours of fshing before the
hot temperatures turn the bite of. Anglers
can expect all species of fsh to feed more
aggressively. And, oh yeah, there will be
much less trafc on the water to boot!
Recently, weve been casting artifcials
to redfsh on the fats at low tide and found
them to be fnicky. So, back to the tried
and true cracked blue crab. Set up your
boat a good distance from the school and
wait for the redfsh to come back to you.
Weve been using size 3/0 circle hooks and
its really important to make sure the hook
point comes out nice and clean from the
crab to ensure a good hook set. Its best to
put the rod in a holder and only pick it up
once the drag starts singing.
Te top water trout bite has really been
smoking frst thing in the morning. A
creature of habit, I usually start with Super
Spook Jrs. My favorite colors are black
head/chartreuse body and silver shad. If
these arent working, Ill switch over to a
lure with a slimmer profle like Yo Zuris
banana boat. Remember to alternate your
rate of retrieve until you fnd one that
works. As an added bonus, weve been
having big redfsh bull rush these lures
and absolutely crush them.
Te founder season has been one of
the better ones in recent memory. Finger
mullet fshed under a popping cork has
been working very well. Some of our best
bites have come at low tide either around
rock piles or along sandy bottoms. It hasnt
been unusual for a client to tell me they
are stuck on something only to watch the
rod tip start dipping up and down. Several
founder in the 3-4lb. range have made it
into the boat recently.
Fly fshing has been best during big high
tides or tailing tides when the redfsh
are way up in the grass. Tis produces
very exciting fshing as anglers can see
the backs and tails of redfsh as they put
their noses in the mud to forage for crabs.
Spoon fies have been particularly efective
and weve been using Dupres spoon fy in
their root beer color quite often. When
casting to redfsh, remember to lead the
fsh by several feet hitting them square
on the head will cause them to spook and
race away.
See you on the water!
Capt. Geof Bennett operates Charleston
Charter Fishing providing fy fshing and
light tackle charters. Clients choose from a full
menu of fy rods, artifcial and live bait fshing
options with charters tailored to their desires.
USCG licensed and insured, Capt. Bennett is
committed to providing a safe and enjoyable
charter to anglers of all skill levels and ages.
For more information, call Capt. Bennett
at 843-324-3332, visit his website at www.
charlestoncharterfshing.com or email him at
captain@charlestoncharterfshing.com.

September
Fishing Report
By Captain Geoff Bennett
Captain Geoff Bennett of Charleston Charter Fishing with a massive Spot Tail Bass.
6 September 16, 2011
Sudoku
Solution on page 11 Level: Medium
Its not a dogwood, but it does have a
little bite.
One of the loveliest trees of the eastern
United States, it is fairly common from
Pennsylvania through the Appalachians
south to Georgia, down through the Florida
panhandle and into Louisiana. It likes high
ground, usually on blufs and slopes, often
in sandy woods in the company of sassafras,
hickories, persimmons, blackjack oak, and
post oak.
Tis is a small tree, usually no more
than about 30 feet tall. Large specimens
may have a trunk about a foot in diameter.
When I was in school, we were taught a
way to recognize this species in a forest:
once the trees attain some size, the trunks
commonly lean over a bit.
Te leaning isnt always prominent, and
there are better ways to recognize it. On
a sizeable tree, the bark will be gray and
blocky. Its twigs are mostly smooth, and
somewhat reddish. Te leaves are up to 8 or
so inches long, shaped like a slender football
(some people compare them to the leaves of
a peach tree), with a distinctive margin of
tiny, sharp teeth, especially toward the tip.
Chew on one of the leaves and you
will be rewarded with a strong, and not
unpleasant, sour taste, something like
sorrel. Te shiny green leaves have another
surprise in store for us, as they will turn a
brilliant red in the fall, and you can see
them starting this display now. It is one of
the best fall-color plants around, and for
that reason is popular as a yard tree.
Blooming time is mid-summer, and
fowers appear in spray-like clusters on the
ends of branches. Individual fowers are
small, white and tubular, and look a bit like
a blueberry fower. (In fact, our Mystery
Plant is a member of the blueberry, or
heath family, along with rhododendrons,
mountain laurel, and heather.) Each fower
hangs, prominently down-turned.
Again, a wonderful treat is provided:
honeybees go crazy for these blooms, and
some of the worlds fnest honey is made
from it. Bee keepers sometimes move the
hives around, at just the right time, to
make sure that these trees are available to
the little helpers at just the right time.
As the fowers age, and as the young
capsules begin to develop, the fower stalk
will curve upward. Eventually, the ripe
seed-pods will be sticking straight up, and
after splitting open, releasing plenty of tiny,
tiny seeds.
John Nelson is the curator of the Herbarium
at the University of South Carolina, in the
Department of Biological Sciences, Columbia
SC 29208. As a public service, the Herbarium
ofers free plant identifcations. For more
information, visit www.herbarium.org or call
803-777-8196.
Mystery
plant
By John nelSon
[ A n s w e r : S o u r w o o d , L i l y o f t h e V a l l e y t r e e , O x y d e n d r u m a r b o r e u m ]
Photo by Linda Lee
September 16, 2011
7
WWW.FOLLYCURRENT.COM
Only On FOlly Police Blotter
BY BLAKE BUNCH
Not Getting Pricked
Two officers responded to a call on
May 18 in regards to a man sleeping
on the beach near 11th Block. Upon
arrival, at 7:18am, the officers noticed
a white male asleep in a sleeping bag;
beer cans strewn around him. Once
awake, the subject stood up revealing a
plastic baggy in his pocket. The baggy
produced had ten grams of pot in it,
and the officers found a hypodermic
needle on the subject as well. After
stating that he had just gotten a job out
on the beach, and had nowhere to live,
the man was cited with possession of
marijuana and given a verbal warning
about sleeping on the beach. The
aforementioned syringe was disposed
of in a biohazard sharp container, and
must have been used for taking water
samples. Hypodermic needles are
sketchy, unless you are a diabetic.
Bubble Gum Fraud
On June 1 an officer was dispatched to
216 East Cooper Avenue in regards to
theft from a vehicle. Upon his arrival,
the officer spoke with the complainant,
who stated that someone had broken
into his friends car. The thief made
off with a 1911 Eddie Plank baseball
card, which was valued at $25,000 -
$175,000. Obviously the passenger
side window was shattered, and the
envelope containing the card was taken
out from the center console. During
questioning, the complainant lied
several times, stating that the card
belonged to his dead step father,
and was also very uncooperative. The
owner of the car was very difficult with
the officer as well, failing to provide
concrete answers to general questions
and being very evasive. Since the
officer received aid from neither the
complainant nor owner of the vehicle,
he left this case open. With the end of
summer quickly approaching, surely all
bar f lies could use that kind of cash.
Getting Ripped Off ?
On July 25, units from the Public
Safety Department were dispatched to
the pier regarding to a burglar alarm
activation. Upon their arrival, the
officers noticed two subjects inside
a gated structure on the pier within
plain view of no trespassing signs.
The male subject was handcuffed,
with the female subject following
shortly. The female subject then began
to use profane language towards the
officer, and smelled strongly of booze,
maintaining an altered mental status.
While refusing to hand the officers her
shorts, which she wasnt wearing, she
accused the officer of trying to touch
her ass. She continued to be belligerent,
and was arrested. Officers found a
bag of synthetic herbal marijuana in
the males pocket, of which he was not
charged. Both subjects were charged
with trespassing, and given a bench
trial date. Officers further went to
locate the female subjects purse, which
had several more bags of synthetic stuff
in it. It is amazing what lengths people
will go to get stoned, but in this case
they didnt get charged for fake herb.
The Second Time is a Charm
On July 27, a Deputy was on patrol
on West Ashley Avenue when he
was f lagged down by a Loggerheads
employee. The employee informed the
Deputy that a subject had been advised
to leave the establishment, and refused
to do so. Once the officer checked
the scene, the subject was hanging out
under the new deck, so he approached
the man, who stated that he was going
to leave with his friends. No problems,
so far. However, later on in the
evening the officer was stationary at
the corner of West Indian Avenue and
Center Street, when he used his radar
to determine the vehicle was travelling
at 44 miles per hour. After initiating a
traffic stop, the officer asked the driver
to exit the vehicle. He then performed
a terry frisk, at which point the
subject informed the officer that he had
herb in his possession. As it turns out,
the subject was the same knucklehead
refusing to leave Loggerheads, and was
arrested for possession of
marijuana, as well as
careless operation of a
vehicle. If you get a
break once, man, call it
a night.
S e v e r a l c l a S S i c c a S e S o f c r a z y, a S we l l a S a f e w t h at g o t l e f t o u t
Folly Current Calendar
September 16 - October 1
Friday, September 16
Movies In the Park
Join us at James Island County Park for movies
under the stars! Event is free with regular gate
admission. Call 795-4386 for more information,
or visit www.ccprc.com for movie titles. No
pre-registration required! 8 10 pm. Free.
Saturday, September 17
Bill Noel Book Signing
Copies of Folly, Te Pier, Washout, Te Edge
and the latest installment in the Folly Beach
Mystery series, Te Marsh will be available.
Piggly Wiggly, 5 -7 p.m.
Fishing Pier Tournament
Join us at the Folly Beach Fishing Pier, the
second largest pier on the East coast! An adult
chaperone is required for participants ages 15
and under. Tournaments held rain or shine.
Online registration now available; but will
end at midnight on the Tursday before each
tournament. On-site registration available and
will begin at 6:00am. Tournaments end at
4:00pm and prizes are awarded at 4:15pm. For
additional information, call the Folly Beach
Fishing Pier at 588-3474.
Fee: $14/$12 CCR Discount. 6 a.m. 4 p.m.

Jump in the Park
Come out and play at Jump in the Park! Kids
will love the jump castles and other infatable
equipment. With plenty to entertain the kids,
parents are sure to have a relaxing day under the
shade at the nearby picnic tables and benches,
and still be able to keep an eye on the youngsters.
Its a playfully fun addition to your familys day
out at the park! An adult chaperone is required
for all participants. For more information call
795-4386 or visit www.ccprc.com. Age: 3-12.
11 a.m. 3 p.m. Fee: $5

monday, September 19
Sip, See, Shop, and Socialize
Its a well known fact: women like great food,
wine, jewelry, and shopping. Combine all four
you get a girls night out event for Charleston
area women to meet, sip, socialize and shop.
Te free event takes place September 19 from
4:30 until 7:30 at Savory Sushi and Catering
at 1956-B Maybank Highway in the Terrace
Shopping Center. During the evening women
are invited to enjoy a wine tasting and pairing
with Savorys Gourmet-to-Go selections, a
trunk show of Stella and Dot Jewelry, and
access to special deals from Go Charleston
Deals. Attendees may purchase jewelry, deals,
wine and Gourmet-to-Go casseroles. Door
prizes will be awarded. Te evenings bonus for
the frst 50 guests will be a Goodie Envelope
flled with savings coupons from all event
presenters. Space is limited and RSVPs are
requested and can be made by calling Savory
Sushi at 762-3338 or by reserving space at
www.su.pr/2JkfK6.
thurSday, September 22
Yappy Hour at James Island County Park
Join us after work at the James Island County
Park dog park for beverages and live music by
singer Nathan Calhoun. Mingle with friends
old and new while your dog runs around with
his favorite pals. Tis event is free with regular
park admission. Outside alcohol and coolers
are prohibited. Call 795-4FUN (4386) for
more information. 4 p.m. sunset
Friday, September 23
Moonlight Mixer
Dance the night away under the stars at the
Folly Beach Fishing Pier as local DJ JimBowers
spins the hottest oldies and beach music around!
Beverages will be available for purchase on site.
Only 600 tickets will be sold for this event.
Call 795-4FUN (4386) for more information.
Ages 3 & up. 7 11 p.m. $10
Saturday, September 24
Kites For a Cure
Tis family friendly kite fy will raise money for
Uniting Against Lung Cancer, a research fund
in honor of Dr. Keisha Kirkland, an athletic
non-smoker currently fghting the disease.
Te fy will occur from 10 am to noon on the
beach in front of Te Tides hotel. Lung cancer
is the worlds number one cancer killer, killing
more than the other top four cancers combined
(breast, prostate, pancreatic, colon) yet funding
for lung cancer research lags dramatically
behind. One in 16 women will develop lung
cancer. Kites and t-shirts will be provided for
the event, and all donations go to research
for treating the disease. Call Kathy Dingee at
478-2697 or email kasdingee@gmail.com for a
copy of the registration form.
Folly Beach Anglers Annual Jimmie
Brownlee Beer Toss
Te anglers will hold their annual toss by the
Tides Hotel from 11 am to 4 pm. Tis cause
supports families in need on Folly Beach. Come
out for lots of family fun.
Parent and Child Trips: Folly River Kayaking
Enjoy the great outdoors and learn new skills
while spending quality time as a family. Tese
programs are for children and their parents. A
registered and paid chaperone is required for
participants ages 15 and under. Join us for a
beautiful paddle along Folly River. Te tidal
creeks and marshes of the Folly River are full of
natural beauty. Bring Momor Dad and work on
your kayaking skills. Pre-registration Required.
9 3 pm. Meets at James Island County Park.
$34.
Sunday, September 25
United Methodist Church 65
th

Anniversary Home Coming (see story
page 11)
WedneSday. September 28
Dog Park Dynamics
Join experts from Bark Busters Home Dog
Training to learn about canine behavior at the
dog park! With time split between classroom
instruction and observation in the dog park,
humans will learn how dogs communicate,
how to identify emotions in dogs from their
body language, how a dogs temperament and
experience play a role in their dog park trip,
and tips for how to keep dogs safe and happy
at the park. Tis fun program is free with park
admission and is for humans only. Meets at
Edisto Hall. 6 7 pm.
thurSday, September 29
Home Energy Conservation Workshop
Te Sustainability Institutes signature Home
Energy Conservation Workshop will teach
you simple low cost and no cost ways to save
money on your monthly energy bill and reduce
energy consumption. Come learn about how
energy is used in the home and best points
of attack to cut energy waste, save money,
and improve the health and comfort of your
home. Pre-registration is required, however
the program is free. 6 8 pm. Meets at James
Island County Park.
Saturday, october 1
Shag Club Fishing Tournamenet
Te Islanders Shag Club & the Greater
Charleston Ski Club will be holding their
annual Inshore Fishing Tournament on
Saturday October 1st. Te Captains meeting
will be held at the Folly Beach Crab Shack on
Tuesday, Sept 27 th time 6:30-8:00 pm. Cash
prizes will be awarded for trout, sheephead,
bass and founder. All proceeds will beneft
the Ronald McDonald House. Applications
are available online at charlestonskiclub.org or
islandersshagclub.com. For more information
call Debbie Disher at 588-6010 or Julie Tillman
at 588-0123.
For a full listing of kayak, stand-up paddle
board, climbing wall, birding, and other courses
and activities at the James Island County Park,
visit www.ccprc.com
Want to Join FIDO and let your dog
of-leash on Folly Beach?
Visit the sign-up sheet for
orientation dates and registration at
www.wix.com/follydogclub/fdo
WWW.FOLLYCURRENT.COM
10 September 16, 2011
Local Man Diagnosed With A Phobia of Phobias
FOLLY BEACH, SC--- An area Folly bartender was recently diagnosed with an
irrational phobia of phobias. Te man, who requested anonymity out of fear of seeing
his name in the paper, barely made it to the doctor to obtain the diagnosis. A friend and
fellow coworker tricked him into thinking they were going downtown to go drinking
and buy V-neck t-shirts, which happen to be two of the only things hes not afraid of.
Te doctor told me hed never seen anything like itthat he found me to be scared
of nearly everything, even the thought of being scared, he said via text, his only form
of communication with people not tipping him or buying him shots. I fear fear.
When asked to provide examples of this irrational behavior, he said he once screeched
when seeing a moth and told friends he had a fying dinosaur in his house for weeks.
He also said hell only watch true crime TV shows during daylight hours and refuses to
ride his bike by himself after dusk.
Local Man Meets Bill Murray, Fulflls Dreams of Being
6 Degrees From Kevin Bacon
FOLLY BEACH, SC--- Te island found itself abuzz this past week as comedian and
Charlestons most famous resident, Bill Murray, led a pub crawl around the beach into
the wee hours. Follys favorite village idiot, Alex Hunter, followed Mr. Murray from bar
to bar until able to shake the actors hand.
Im pretty sure he knew I was following himany time hed see me looking at him
hed close his tab and move on, said Hunter, often referred to as a simpleton by those
who know him best. So I moved on and went to his next spot. Finally, at Surf Bar, I
bought him a shot. He told me he didnt want it because I bought it for him but that
hed take it anyway. We took the shot and I grabbed his hand and shook it before he
could pull it back.
Hunter further explained he didnt care about meeting the Ghostbuster as much as
being 6 degrees to Kevin Bacon.
At that moment Id fnally done itcross it of the bucket list, fellas. Hunter
shakes Murrays hand, who was in Groundhog Day with Andie McDowell, who starred
alongside Michael Keaton in Multiplicity, whom Tim Burton directed in Batman before
directed, of which who was part of the cast? You guessed itKevin Bacon! At that
moment Id fnally done itcross it of the bucket list, fellas. Hunter shakes Murrays
hand, who was in Groundhog Day with Andie McDowell, who starred alongside
Michael Keaton in Multiplicity, who lent his voice to Toy Story 3 with Tom Hanks,
who starred in Apollo 13 with Kevin Bacon!
God Unveils Plans For Heavens Launch Of Steve Jobs
THE HEAVENS--- God, Father to Christ and Almighty Creator of the Universe,
announced to the congregation of all Angels and Saints today his plans for Heavens
launch of Apple Founder and CEO, Steve Jobs. Long rumored amongst the Choir of
Angels (though not so much amongst the Saints), Gods announcement puts to rest
the long rumored information. Notoriously secretive in his human life on Earth, Jobs
announced after years of health problems his plans to step down from his day to day
operations at Apple.
In doing that, Steve allowed us to start with phase 1 of his launch up here in Heaven,
and boy, let me tell youwe are excited, said an unusually ecstatic God.
Known for reinvigorating a dying company with innovative, culture-changing
technology such as the iPod, the iPhone, and most recently, the iPad, one can only
imagine what Mr. Jobs has in store for Heaven, a place with supposedly limitless
possibilities.
Of course I know what Steve is going to accomplish up here, explained a more
defensive God. After all, Im God.
Folly Fantasy League Draft To Be Held Tis Weekend
FOLLY BEACH, SC--- Move over Fantasy Footballa whole new fantasy game will
be starting next week: Te Folly Fantasy League. With the end of the busy season
and the exit of mass tourism, local Folly Beachers are about to get their island back. In
years past, this meant festivals once a month and thats about it. To ramp things up
this time around, the city announced that it will hold the frst ever draft for the Folly
Fantasy League, a game which will assemble teams to score points based on drunken
accomplishments and escapades during the of season.
Get hit by a car? 25 points. Face plant on your mountain bike and break your nose?
10 points. Forget to pay your tab? 1 point. Remember to pay your tab? -1 point. In
bed by midnight? -5 points. Etc.
Go to the Folly Beach Library this Sunday at noon to sign up for the draft. Players
will be ranked based on past performance as well as future potential. Full sheets of how
to score points will be provided at the draft. Stay tuned to the Folly Current in two
weeks for the frst set of standings.
The Folly Fonion
By DaviD CrawforD
Get your music on!
Te October 14 issue of the Folly Current
is the Music Issue!
Do you have a favorite musical memory on Folly Beach?
We want to hear it!
Are you in a band?
We want to list you in our directory and
put your music on our website.
Venue owner?
Let us know your favorite acts that perform at your
establishment, and why you love hosting local, live music.
If you have any suggestions or would like
to contribute to our music issue, please
email Stratton@luckydognews.com
Deadline for submissions is October 4.
September 16, 2011 11
Sudoku solution
Solution from page 6
Date High Tide Low Tide
Storms, hurricanes, etc., are NOT included in the predictions.
Tidal current direction changes and tide time predictions can
be very different. Tide predictions are PREDICTIONS; they
can be wrong so use common sense.
Sep 16
Sep 17
Sep 18
Sep 19
Sep 20
Sep 21
Sep 22
Sep 23
Sep 24
Sep 25
Sep 26
Sep 27
Sep 28
Sep 29
Fol l y Beach Ti de Char t
Source: www.saltwatertides.com
Vince Perna is a Folly Beach real estate expert who also loves music. If you want to know if
you can live on Folly, you can fnd him at 31 Center Street or by calling 588-3800.
Folly Music scene
F
olly Beach United Methodist
Church will have its 65
th
Anniversary
Home Coming celebration on
Sunday, September 25, 2011 at 11:15AM.
Te church is at 118 West Indian Avenue
on Folly Beach. Our guest speaker will
be Reverend Miyoung Paik who served
the church as pastor from 1991 to 1999.
After our morning service, there will be
a covered dish dinner and a time capsule
will be buried in our new prayer garden.
Te capsule will be unearthed in 35 years
at the churchs 100th anniversary.
Our little church was originated from
a small Sunday School group that met on
a porch of a Folly Beach Cottage in 1933.
It grew into Faith Chapel in 1934/35 in
a building at 201 East Cooper and then
when attendance became too large a
lot was purchased and the church we
have today was built at 118 West Indian
Avenue.
In 1946 the church changed from
interdenominational to Methodist
Episcopal church now United Methodist
church. We are part of the United
Methodist Conference of South Carolina.
Alice L. Deal is our current pastor.
We joyfully join with the other two
churches on Folly Beach, Folly Beach
Baptist and our Lady of Good Council
at Tanksgiving and Easter to celebrate
Christianity here on the Edge.
Come and join us for this special
occasion. We honor our Lord with Open
Doors, Open Hearts and Open Minds.
All are welcome.
Celebrating
65 Years
PROVIDED
BLU
9/17 - Southwood Duo
9/18 - Nikolai Svishev
9/18 - Dustin Brown
9/19 - Calvin Taylor
9/21 - Elise Testone Duo
9/24 - Soul Fish Duo
9/25 - Lee Barbour
9/25 - Jesse Prichard & Sarah Cole
9/26 - Mitch Wetherington
9/28 - Graham Whorley
Brick House Kitchen
Every Tursday - Open Mic Under
the Oaks, 7:30 - 11 pm
9/16 Yellowknife
9/17 Brent Knight
9/23 Graham Whorley
9/24 Hawaiian Luau with Ben Fagan
9/30 Foodin & Groovin with Food
Trucks, Minimum Wage Band
and more
Drop In Deli
Mondays the Hawkes
Wednesdays - Trivia
9/23 - Fairy Godmuthars
Folly Beach Brewing Company
9/16 - Jack Burg
9/23 - Howard Dlugasch
9/30 - Cris Williams
10/7 - Crushed Red Pepper
Folly Beach Crab Shack
Sundays Te Bill Show
Mondays Open Mic w/ Dave
Grunstra
Wednesdays - Jef Houts
Tursdays Island Duo
Fridays Nathan Calhoun
9/16 - Sara Smile
9/24 - Howard Dlugasch
Folly Beach Float Frenzy
9/17 - Graham Whorley &
Stone Silicon
Folly Beach Pier
9/23 - Shaggin on the Pier
Folly Beach Shrimp Co.
Sundays - Blue Patina
Tursdays - Folly Beach Bluegrass
Society
Locklears
Mondays - Jef Houts
Loggerheads
Tuesdays - Ben Fagen &
Holy City Hooligans
Wednesdays Karaoke
9/16 - Groove Junkies
9/17 - Sho Nuf
9/22 - Sarah Cole & the Hawkes
9/23 - Stereo Reform
9/24 - Tidal Jive
9/29 - Champagne & Friends
9/30 - Weigh Station
Planet Follywood
9/16 - Kevin Church
9/17 - Eric Penrod
9/23 - Dan Clamp
9/24 - Mike Mixon
9/29 - Karaoke
9/30 - Kevin Church
Ritas
Tursdays - Sgt. Submarine
9/18 - Rotie
9/20 - Dave Landeo
9/21 - Beef Cannon
9/25 - Matt Wink
9/27 - Southwood Duo
9/28 - Derek Cribb
Sand Dollar
9/16 & 17 - Johnny Mac & the Booty
Ranch
Snapper Jacks
Tursdays - Kevin West Band
9/16 - Stereo Reform
Surf Bar
Wednesdays - Guilt Ridden
Troubadour
Taco Boy
9/17 - Molandro Soul
9/23 - Rawberry Jam
Woodys
Mondays - Live Local music
Tuesdays Jerry Cooper
Tursdays - Trivia
11:15am/11:36pm
11:52am
12:13am/12:34pm
12:56am/1:23pm
1:46am/2:20pm
2:45am/3:21pm
3:49am/4:22pm
4:51am/5:21pm
5:50am/6:16pm
6:47am/7:09pm
7:40am/8:00pm
8:33am/8:51pm
9:26am/9:41pm
10:19am/10:32pm
4:40am/5:12pm
5:16am/5:52pm
5:56am/6:37pm
6:41am/7:29pm
7:34am/8:27pm
8:33am/9:29pm
9:37am/10:28pm
10:40am/11:24pm
11:41am
12:17am/12:38pm
1:07am/1:33pm
1:55am/2:27pm
2:44am/3:20pm
3:33am/4:13pm
After Midnight
Yes, We Let it all Hang Out?
By Fay a.
I
have always been one to pay a good
deal of attention to people around
me and how they behave in diferent
environments. Tere seems to be
something that happens to just about
everyone after Mother Natures lights go
out. Sometimes when I sit outside, I think
about people I know in other places who
either just saw, or will soon be seeing, the
same stars that Im enjoying. Sometimes
it causes me to be contemplative, or
emotional, and sometimes they make
me go a bit out of character.
Twilight seems to give people the
courage and patience to enjoy to the fullest
every single morsel of fresh air that they are
gifted. Being wrapped in moonlight, warm
gentle breezes, and shadow, not only makes
our pupils dilate, it make our personalities
broaden. All things, though more hidden,
are much clearer in the elusive dark corners
of twilight. Te truth seems to come out
there. I believe we all feel safer, more
mysterious, and more receptive to exposing
parts of ourselves that dont normally see
the bright light of day.
Darkness inevitably invokes something
in people that gives them the liberty to
release the foodgates, if you will; all of
their inhibitions seem to wash away. Teir
freak fags fy at full mast, and at the end
of the day, if they are one of our fellow
Folly folk, we all understand, forgive, and
forget; because every one of us has been
there before. Almost anyone I know
that considers themselves a regular to the
scene knows that sometimes we fall down,
sometimes we fall on the way up, we fall
for each other, we fght, we make fools of
ourselves, we clearly fumble in the midst
of both good decisions and bad ones.
Tucked up in the middle of all of
that aforementioned craziness, and my
coincidental alliterative f kick, is one
lovely notion, however. Its often after
the sun has set that we fnd ourselves
meeting those people that we are the most
compatible with. Its when so many people
fnd themselves falling for each other.
I wonder if thats why the golden rule
of not dating people you work with exists?
Maybe meeting people at the end of your
day; when the stress is on hiatus until the
alarm rings again, after a martini, after a
deep breath and the chance to sink back
into yourself once more maybe, this is
the best time to meet someone that you
can actually spend comfortable quality
time with.
Lets be honest, I am quite possibly
biased about this whole darkness thing,
as I am myself nocturnal. I worked this
evening on our beloved Center St. got home
at 3:48 a.m., showered, started writing,
and now the clock reads 5:37. Yet, I will
say, as an avid observer of the night time
crowd, some of the best pairings I have
ever seen be them beautiful friendships
or more have occurred between people
who were in a state of truthful relaxation.
No one was pretending, there were
no ulterior motives; just people being
people letting it all hang out.
Tose are, to this day, the relationships
that have lasted. And those are still the
reason that Folly is Folly. Everyone who
comes here falls in love, not only with the
beauty of our secret little island, but with
us, because we are a cumulative Us. We
are a Folly family that everyone wants
to be a part of, but only the chosen few
actually get to experience.
As another summer comes to a close,
we will fnd our streets clearing out as all
of the tourists return to wherever they
came from, and it will just be us again.
Lets be sure to savor it.
I suppose this is my love letter to you,
my Folly friends and family, for all of our
mishaps, missteps, misunderstandings,
mistakes, and misbehaving we still
have each other; one big conglomerate of
miscreants. And I love you all. 5:56a.m
Fay A. signing of.
Dat i ng Fol l i es
September 16, 2011 13
WWW.FOLLYCURRENT.COM
J
ust days after Hurricane Irene
swept across our shores, The
Charleston Bocce League
ventured out to Folly Beach to commence
their semi finals and finals for the
seasons Championship Tournament.
Upon arriving at the beach, it was all too
clear that a major storm had just passed.
The water line was up to the dunes and
there were patches of dune grass strewn
throughout the beach. Where 12 inches
deep of deep soft white sand used to lie,
the beach had been washed away and
replaced by a hard, unforgiving black
grit.
The ocean was still churning,
murky at best, with gray foaming white
caps. The clouds were dark and rain
felt imminent. What used to be blue
skies, white beaches and a bluish-green
ocean was transformed into a muddled
mixture of grays. Clearly, the mood was
set for the final leg of the tournament.
First up in the semi-finals was
our 2nd season team Coach and
K-Dog (Paul Stevens & Kevin Ward)
currently the 4th place seed entering
the tournament, taking on the 1st place
seed and freshman team Balls to the
Vol (Aaron Alexander & Slim). After
the first couple of rounds Coach and
K-Dog had a commanding lead up 3-0.
But Balls to the Vol werent going to roll
over and play dead. They fought back
and took the lead with some impressive
ball skills. A few unfortunate tosses by
Coach and K-Dog were all it took to seal
their fate as Balls to the Vol advanced to
the finals.
Concurrently, the second leg of the
semi-finals was being battled out by
2nd place seed and freshman team
Bocce Bros (Matthew Johnson & Zach
Carichiuta) taking on the 6th place
seed and 2nd season team Bocce and
Bullwinkle (Katie & Adam Webb
yours truly). Unbeknownst to either
team was the bocce battle that was
about to ensue! Bocce and Bullwinkle,
being the only coed team in the semi-
finals, had something to prove. After
two rounds Bocce and Bullwinkle were
able to squeak a 2-1 lead, but it wouldnt
last long. Bocce Bros battled right back
to take the lead at 3-2. Then some
impressive skills and a good turn of luck
led by Katie gave Bocce and Bullwinkle
a commanding 6-3 lead (playing to 7).
Bocce Bros had other plans however.
A few key rounds with some defensive
maneuvering and great tosses breathed
new life into this game. After what must
have been a 45 minute battle the Bocce
Bros were able to take the lead and then
the win with a 8-6 final score, moving
on to the finals.
The battle for 3rd place between
Coach and K-Dog & Bocce and
Bullwinkle was short and to the point.
Bocce and Bullwinkle still pumping
with adrenaline and fuming from their
loss, they made short work of Coach and
K-Dog. With 4 points in round 1 and
3 in round two Bocce and Bullwinkle
secured 3rd with a commanding 7-0
win.
The sun was setting as the finals
began between Balls to the Vol and
the Bocce Bros. It was a great spectacle
to watch! Here were the two teams
that rightfully belonged in the finals.
Neither team had missed a single match
out of the 42 played throughout the
season, and neither team dropped below
the top 3 for the season. It was truly a
battle between the best and both were
out to prove a point. The name of the
game with these two teams is the long
ball. If they had a motto it could be go
long or go home.
Balls to the Vol started out strong,
and after only a few rounds had a 3-0
lead. The Bocce Bros werent going to
go out without a fight though. They
fought hard and threw well to take the
third round with a single point bringing
the score to 3-1. Balls to the Vol wasnt
having it though and made the last two
rounds game changers. You know its
truly impressive to see these two teams
toss a 107mm ball what must have been
30 plus yards at a target the size of a golf
ball and land within 6 inches of it time
and time again! But thats exactly what
happened, and Balls to the Vol showed
a commanding presence with the last
few rounds to close out the match with
a 7-1 victory!
Loggerheads Beach Grill, this
years league sponsor, hosted the award
ceremony and the end of the year
celebration. Balls to the Vol took the
1st place trophy along with $300 prize
money and ensured that the Charleston
Bocce League Championship Trophy
stayed another season on Folly Beach!
Bocce Bros took the 2nd place trophy
and $200 prize money followed by
Bocce and Bullwinkle in 3rd place with
$100. Also honored was The Good, The
Bad, The Bocce (Vanessa During &
Chad Garrett) for the Baddest Ballers
and Bocce Said She Was 18 Officer
(Will Phillips & Bart Smith) for best
team name! All in all it was a great end
to another successful season for the
Charleston Bocce League.
Balls Deep
B o c c e L e a g u e c L o s e s o u t t h e s u mme r wi t h
s e a s o n e n d i n g t o u r n a me n t
By AdAm WeBB
The Charleston Bocce League wrapped up their 2011 season with a tournament on Folly Beach at afterparty at Loggerheads. Congratulations to winning team Balls on the Vol
WWW.FOLLYCURRENT.COM
14 September 16, 2011
Brought to you by Woodys Pizza and
Mary Ohl.
PHOTO BY MarY OHl
The Lucky Dog cLub
is sponsoreD by LosT Dog cafe
If you have a Lucky Dog please send their information and picture to:
richard@luckydognews.com
Do you recognize this image? It was taken somewhere on Folly Beach. If you
know what it is, let us know at wtf@luckydognews.com and you could win a free
medium, one-topping pizza from Woodys! Congratulations to Evan Wages, who
guessed last week's WTF winner - the parking are outside of the Sandollar.
FOLLY ANIMAL SERVICE:

Please report all Lost or Found pets
on Folly Beach immediately. Call
588-2433 and ask for Folly Animal
Service or a police offcer. All
resident animals must be registered
with the City of Folly Beach
annually and tags must be attached
to the pets collar. Tag cost $3 and
may be purchased at Folly Beach
Public Safety, located at City Hall.
Name: Bear
Breed: Jack Russell/Pug Mix
Likes: tug of war, riding in the car and
boat, belly rubs, eating grass.
Dislikes: People who ignore him, the word no, and waking up
early.
Whyam I a Lucky
Dog: I am a lucky dog
because I get to visit
my grandparents out
on folly beach and play
on the dock and at the
beach!
WWW.FOLLYCURRENT.COM
September 16, 2011 15
I
n the middle of a beach volleyball
game at a crowded Mexican
resort this summer, I caught the
unmistakable futter of wings out of
the corner of my eye. Excited about
the thought of adding another bird
to my life list, I quickly bailed on the
ongoing game, grabbed my camera from
a nearby lounge chair, and spent the
next hour crouched next to a piling of
rocks, marveling at the incredible yellow
color and black and white markings on
this frisky little fycatcher. Being in
Mexico, I knew I would see a variety
of birds unknown to North America,
but the Great Kiskadee was not one I
had anticipated encountering; mainly
because shore birds are my focus and I
would not expect a passerine to spend
time foraging along the waters edge.
Once back in Charleston with a
reliable internet connection, I discovered
that the Great Kiskadee eats anything
from insects and small lizards to fruit
and can occasionally be found diving
for fsh, making it one of the few fsh-
eating passerines. Interestingly enough,
this opportunistic behavior has allowed
the Great Kiskadee to expand its range,
permitting them to fourish in most urban
habitats throughout Central and South
America as well as parts of Southern
Texas. Tis particular individual was
photographed during a recent trip to
Playa del Carmen, Mexico.
The Great Kiskadee
By Lindsey Graham
nat ure
16 September 16, 2011
T
o paraphrase Saturday Night Live icons Hans and
Franz, hear me now, believe me later; the Chicago
Bears will be holding the Vince Lombardi trophy
at the end of the 2012 NFL season.
Keep in mind that this a team that was just one tender-
foot of a quarterback and a mere seven points away from
beating last years eventual Super Bowl champions in the
NFC Championship. With enough of the team still intact
(and having found some real keepers by dumpster diving
through the Dallas Cowboys refuge bull-rusher-soon-
to-be-blocking-for-Matt-Forte Marion Barber, unheralded
wide receiver Sam Hurd and sadly over-rated receiver
Roy Williams), the Bears now have the staf, the defense,
the ofense, the depth and, as long as Devin Hester stays
healthy, the special teams to give them that little extra
edge theyll need to dethrone the reigning Super Bowl
Champions.
Te defending NFC North Division champions will
have an unforgiving September to get their year going,
but if they can get past the Falcons, the Saints, and the
Packers with at least one win, the remainder of their
schedule should be easier to get through than a Miss
South Carolina spelling bee contest. Tis means that once
again, the Bears will win their division and eventually run
into the Atlanta Falcons, whose staunch ofensive line will
fnally meet their match in the deep and over-powering
stampede that will be the Chicago Bears defensive line.
Tat will make the diference in this years NFC
Championship game. After that, its on to Indianapolis
for Super Bowl XLVI (or Super Bowl 46, for the Roman
numerically challenged) where they will play the team
who should just go ahead and become the ofcial sponsor
of the NFLs season-ending spectacle and have their name
precede the words Super Bowl. When it comes to Super
Bowl victories, the Pittsburgh Steelers have been there,
done that, and have come close to doing it again more
often than any other NFL team. Unfortunately for Steeler
fans, Ben Roethlisberger will either be watching from the
sidelines or playing at less than 100% due to a late season
injury.
Enter the stifing Chicago Bears D. Pittsburghs
running game will be stufed like a Folly Beach PO Box
during election season. Roethlisberger will be forcing
throws, turn-overs will incur and the underdog Chicago
Bears will be there to pick them clean, thus walking out of
Lucas Oil Stadium with a surprising Super Bowl victory
in tow. With that having been decided, heres a rundown
of how your favorite team will fare by the end of this
football season.
Super Bowl Champion wanna-bes.
Did I say the Bears? Im sorry, No, see, what I really
meant to say was the
..Pittsburgh Steelers, New England Patriots, Green Bay
Packers, Atlanta Falcons, Philadelphia Eagles.
Tank you! Come again!
Like Marlon Brando in On the Waterfront, these
teams could have been contenders:
New Orleans, New York Giants, New York Jets,
Baltimore Ravens, Houston Texans, Detroit Lions, San
Diego Chargers, San Francisco 49rs.
Also rans.
Tese teams are like the Little Lebowski Underachievers:
Teams of promise that just didnt have the means for
a higheractually they did have the means, but like
Donnie, were simply out of their element:
Dallas Cowboys, Washington Redskins, St. Louis Rams,
Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Minnesota Vikings, Kansas City
Chiefs, Bufalo Bills, Indianapolis Colts, Jacksonville
Jaguars, Denver Broncos.
Never had a chance.
Remember that movie Rudy? Yeah, well, these teams
are like the Rudys of the NFL, except Rudy actually
showed up to play.
Seattle Seahawks, Arizona Cardinals, Carolina Panthers,
Oakland Raiders, Cleveland Browns, Tennessee Titans,
Miami Dolphins.
So a priest, a rabbi and a monk walk into a bar in
Cincinnati
Actually, I forget how that joke ends, but like the 2012
NFL season, when it does, everyone will be laughing at
the Cincinnati Bengals dismal 0-16 record. Okay. Maybe
1-15. Maybe.
Folly Beach Dude's Fearless Football
Forecast for NFL Season 2011-12
BY JOEL FLORES