Setting Boundaries for Children

Many parents have a struggle between their hopes for their children's behavior and what
the children actually do. This is more easily solved than the parents think. There are three
key elements to doing this.

(1) The authority of the parent enables the parent to act. Without this understanding, the
parent will feel reluctant to make their child obey their wishes. They might try different
means of persuasion, but they will feel powerless to do anything.

(2) Discipline with its accompanying chastisement makes sure the parents' desire for their
children comes to fruition. Previous lessons have discussed this in detail.1

(3) The subject of this lesson focuses on the third point: the setting, communication and
implementation of boundaries for the children. In other words, what are we going to tell
our children to do and how do we get them to do these things?

Parents have many wishes for their children. Some of these wishes are achievements for
after they are grown up. We are not speaking about these kinds of desires. Our discussion
will center on the building blocks of the character or virtue of an individual.2 These will
make him do a 'good' job in whatever he does. Character is based on who a person is
while achievement on what he does.

Because we are discussing young children, we need to start with the training of these
little ones right in our homes such as picking up after themselves; caring for his toys,
folding his clothes etc… In many cases the parents don't know what to ask the children to
do, or how to get them to do it. More than often, the parent becomes distraught over these
issues. Here are a few examples of this kind of stress.

Some parents have thought up different jobs for their children to do but have not
been able to get their child to carry them out.

Sometimes the child starts well but because of lack of encouragement or

direction, the child just stops doing it.

Sometimes the parent assigns something, but never trains the child how to do it.
The child gets discouraged. The parent gets upset because he didn't obey, but the
parent wasn't careful to teach the child how to do it.

Sometimes the child gets distracted. They end up with half-done jobs.

In the end, both the parent and the child need to be self-disciplined to carry out their parts
of the activity. The parent must patiently work along side the child until self-control is
developed in a certain area.
 A. Importance of High Standards
The rules and boundaries that parents set up enable the child to reach his full potential.
Many think that this potential can be accomplished apart from God' s truth and work. It
cannot be. Let' s see the reason for this.

The disciplines that God brings to a child from his parents enables that child to both
suppress his natural inclination to serve himself and thus be sensitive to others. The areas
that are not cared for become untamed areas of his life. They will become the trouble
areas of his life.

The parallel to this teaching in the scriptures is the exhortation to eliminate all the
enemies in the land. Any group that was not eliminated is promised by God to become a'
prick' and a'thorn'to the Israelites. God says,

" They shall trouble you in the land in which you live" (Numbers 33:55).

The training the parents give to their children enables them to tame those desires that
would otherwise get out of hand. The more thoroughly the parent implements training,
the better it is for the child. The seeds of their evil heart are essentially choked out.

Each seed represents an evil aspect of our hearts. The list is not meant to be inclusive but
just representative.

" For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts,
murders, adulteries, of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy,
slander, pride and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the
man." (Mark 7:21-23)

Lack of respect for authorities (prideful)

Lack of control of emotions (anger)

Lack of control of desires (lust)

Lack of sensitivity to the needs of others (selfish)

Lack of ability to relate to others (competitive)

Lack of contentment (greed)

If left uncontrolled, these areas will grow and multiply like weeds. Self-control describes
the process where by the child is trained to ignore these desires and live by God' s
principles. Those without self-control will be dominated by one or more'thorns' and thus
face more problems in life.
The right diagram shows how two growing influences affect a child' s life. They start
interfering with normal life including education, friends, relationships with parents and of
course their relationships with God. If they are not restrained at some point, they will
destroy a person' s life. God uses the parent to control these foul desires.

Pause for Reflection: Do you' indulge' yourself once and a while? Do you have urges
that you do not control? List them. These are areas that were not carefully guarded
against.

Here are a few observations on the parents' training problems.

• Parents are' soft' on implementing rules in the areas of their weaknesses. If the parent
watches' sleazy' movies, he will often allow his child to view offensive entertainment. It
is through this means that we see the sins passed on from one generation to the next.

• Even if parents are' tough' on areas where they are weak, the children rise up with
bitterness and call the parents hypocrites.

• Parents are sometimes oblivious to the standard that God would want in many areas of
life.

When the parents model what they want, the child sees this as the only way of life and
becomes accustomed to it. To be a good parent means that we live a great life before our
children.

Pause for Reflection: What are the areas in your personal life that you battle with?
Where do you find defeat? Where are you hardened and unwilling to change? Have you
instituted high standards in these areas for your children? What are the results?

B. Drawing Boundaries
The parents know what they want (goals). They must know how to enforce what they
want (discipline). Then the parents must seek God to set good standards that complement
and carry out His commands.

The parents then define these boundaries and communicate them to their children.
Parents often look at what other families do to gain ideas. This is good. Sometimes we
simply have no idea what the child can handle at a certain age or what a parent can
enforce. The parents will be accountable to God for what standards they have set up.

Maybe an example will help keep us focused. Say we have a goal for a joyful child. This
is one of the fruits of the Spirit. How can we bring the child to be joyful? Certainly the
child will have his or her own personality. Beyond this is the character quality of being
 glad in what God has given in whatever circumstances one faces. When we set our
boundaries for our children, we need to think what kind of perspectives, attitudes and
actions will not be allowed. We must also think about how we can positively instruct and
model that character quality.

For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, " YOU SHALL LOVE
YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." But if you bite and devour one another, take care
lest you be consumed by one another. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry
out the desire of the flesh. (Galatians 5:14-16)

In this case we would not allow complaining, grumpiness, poor attitudes, or any sadness
from ones own inconvenience. Positively, we would model and teach about God' s
goodness, love and sovereign hand over all affairs of life. Share with the children the
ways God cares for your family. Joy comes from fulfilling God' s purpose through loving
Him and others. We will go to church and serve there. We will learn how to serve each
other in the home and get joy from that opportunity. We will cultivate a glad spirit that we
can serve even if we are inconvenienced by the pride or bitterness of another.

Pause for Reflection: How have you done in setting up boundaries for your children?
Have you been affected by modern thinking? How so?

Area #1 At Home

What are the general standards for a child to rightly live by at home?

Typical approach

The parent spends his or her time chasing the child around to keep him out of trouble. Of
course the parents' motives are good by making sure the child does not get into danger
and damage things. But this is only guarding the child from danger rather than training
the child to do what he should do even when the parent is not around.

Seeds Sprouts Plants

(nature of evil) (short term results) (long term results)
Exhausted parents, disobedient children, lack of self- A belief that they are most important and
Lack of boundaries; too much
control, ignorance of standards, friction between parent that others ought to serve them; relativistic,
freedom to do what he wants.
and child. unreliable.

God' s Way

The child should be trained to control himself to do everything the parent wants the child
to do. Take one room at a time. What is it that you as the parent want the child to do or
not to do? Communicate these to your child.3 Make sure they have heard you by looking
directly at them. Have them repeat you if necessary. Usually if the child is young, the
parent will only think about what the child should not do.
Here are some starters: Don't touch, don't go, don't move, don't jump, don't run, etc. The
parent of course must be specific as to when (don't touch stove when hot), where (don't
play around in the living room) and what (don't touch the books on that one bookcase.)
When the child is younger, we would be better off setting standards that don't change. "
Don't go near stove." " Don't touch any bookcase in living room."

Property. Children need to respect property (the things that exist be it living or
nonliving). People are stewards of the things God has made including people, bugs, trees
and toys. As the child grows, they will learn that certain objects belong to certain people.
Permission must first be gained before using it. But even if there is no specific owner, the
child must learn that God has given us what we have. We must take care of it. If we
cannot properly care for something, then we have no right to use it.

Even if a toy belongs to them, they have no right to destroy it. I tell our children, " If you
don't rightly care for that toy, then we will find someone that will." They have no right
just to smash something that is good. They are better off to give it away.

We are steward over things. Furniture is not a toy and must not be jumped on, including
beds. As they learn to take care of property at home, then they can extend that principle to
things that belong to others when in public.

Clean up. If the child makes a mess with food or toys, they should, if old enough, pick it
up and make everything nice and clean. They should even sweep up the mess. When the
child is 4-5, the parent or older sibling can work together cleaning up. Later on they will
be able to do it on their own.

Throwing things. Children are taught the principle, "Don't throw things in the house."
They are to apply this to all sorts of objects, but sometimes a parent might need to clarify
the rule. They are not allowed to throw food. Paper airplanes and balloons are allowed in
our house (but might not be in yours).

Coming. If called, they are to say, "Coming." If they cannot come, they are to ask
permission for delaying. Children are expected to speak honestly and obey their parents
the first time they say something.

Five Minute rule. When the parents call the children to go somewhere, they need to give
a bit of time for the children to finish what they are doing and put it away. Even adults
need time to get ready for another activity. For meals, we use a bell system. On the first
bell, they are expected to clean up. On the second bell, they are to wash their hands and
proceed directly to the table. This simplifies the procedure for Mom who is preparing a
hot meal. This also develops in the child the responsibility to pick up after them.

Hygiene. The parents are to train their children to have proper hygiene. We must not
leave it up to the children to decide what they do or do not want to do. They would rather
make art designs with the toothpaste! Instead the parent must have their teeth properly
brushed, toilet needs rightly cared for, and hands washed well with soap. They should be
trained at age appropriate times to do what the parent would do for them.

Orderliness. God is a God of order. Routines are good. The parent should set the
bedtimes and awake times, not the child. The parent sets the mealtime, not the whining of
the child. Parents should even set the detailed routine for getting up or going to bed. This
would include awake times, getting dressed, dirty clothes, hygiene care, eating, etc.

Training the child to care for his own needs makes an orderly house. After a bath, a child
should properly put the towel away. At first, do it together and then later you can appoint
them in charge of doing it. If it is done in the right spirit (eg. " You are getting big!" ),
they will want to do it on their own. They need to be shown how to fold clothes, step by
step. You do one step. They do the next. Before they know it, they will be able to do the
whole thing.

Serving others. As a child begins to walk, the parents will look for opportunities on how
to help train them to help others. Part of the training includes helping them notice the
needs of others.

Yesterday, I came into my home office to find my study was immaculate. Even my chair
was nicely tucked under my desk with my sweater neatly hanging over the back of it. I
later found out that my six-year-old daughter engineered that surprise all on her own. We
want to foster that kind of serving spirit. We show great delight at their thoughtfulness
and do our best at telling others how special it was that she went out of the way to do
that.

Summary. We do not allow them to choose. We choose for them. We work with them at
first and then they will soon be able and willing to help. They learn how to prioritize what
their parents' say. This is the way to build parental respect without much confrontation.

Pause for Reflection: Do you chase your children around trying to keep them from
wrong or do you train them to do what is right? Are you consistent?

Area #2 At the Table

How do you train a child to eat well?

Typical approach

The parent waits to see what the child wants and makes it for him.

The parent fears if they make something for the child without asking that he might not "
Like it." The parent focuses more on the child' s need to eat than the nutrition or training
of self-control. The child gets whatever they want. Whenever he fusses for something,
then they give it to him. This is the way to make a picky and ungrateful eater. This makes
him think he is king of the universe.
 Seeds Sprouts Plants
(Nature of evil) (Short term results) (Long term results)
Unthankful, demanding, tired Mom, complaining, Lack of gratefulness to God and wife, poor
Lack of gratefulness.
griping, picky eater, eats bad things. health, impolite and lack of manners.

God's Way

The child does not know what is best for him. Let him shop for you, and you will be
surprised at what they would buy! Determine what the child needs are and serve him
good, nutritious and well-balanced meals when you think is right.

Expect the child to eat what he is served. If he doesn't eat, have him go without. If he
learns what good meals are, then he will form good eating habits. No snacks should be
given except for very young toddlers or special occasions. Build up a good appetite from
which thankfulness arises.

He will learn thankfulness by observing his parents. If Dad expresses real thanks to God
and his wife, this will go a long way in creating a grateful heart. The child should be
trained to thank Mom for her love shown in preparing meals.

This is not to say that children do not develop likes and dislikes. Everyone is different,
but catering to his likes and avoiding his dislikes never gives him an opportunity to learn
to endure through hard things. The child simply has to trust his parents' judgment when
he doesn't like a certain thing. Special colors, snacks, size or deserts can become the time
the child decides about what to eat.

Purpose of eating. Parents can ask, " Are they honoring the Lord by what they eat, how
they eat and the way they show gratefulness of those who took part of the process?"
Along with being thankful, the child needs to learn not to be wasteful. He should not take
more than he can eat. More often than not, there will be enough for seconds. This is better
than throwing food away.

Saying 'grace.' Expressing thanks to the Lord is very important not just before meals but
also regularly for all things.4 We train our infant children to hold hands. We just hold their
hands together. This will work for a long time. The young child gets used to it. Later the
child will want to hold hands on his own. Be prepared, though. He will go through a stage
he will refuse to hold his hands.

In this case, just go back to holding his hands until he is willing to hold his hands
together. We don't want children playing during this time but to show respect to God.
Children should wait for 'grace'to be said before serving himself (normally speaking) and
eating.

A parent might wonder how to have him eat food that he doesn't want to eat. Again, if we
start at an early age, the parent just feeds the child what she decides. She does not ask
 him what he wants. When this is done, the child is used to eating what is served. If the
child was not trained this way, then there chastisement will be needed to reinstitute
respect for the parent' s authority.

When young, keep the baby's hands away from the dish. Remember, that the child
already understands his Mom's 'no,' and will generally respect it at the highchair. At
times, the mother might want to hold the child' s hands.

Don't like? Some concepts of a child' s dislike might come from a parent's
misinterpretation of the child spitting out food when young. A child is just learning to eat
food at that stage. The child hasn't trained their tongue to work properly. The mother
might think that the baby doesn't like it where in fact the baby is just trying to eat it.
When the baby spits it out, the mother's face might express dislike because she thinks the
baby doesn't like it. The baby can learn from the Mom's negative response or " Oh you
don't like that" to reject it. The Mom should show confidence on her face and in her
words that the child will like it. Then help the child happily eat it!

Eating together as a family should be a joyful event. Parents and children should gather
around the meal to spend time together. There should not be any distractions of television
or radio except for special events.5 Our family talks a lot together. We don't allow
accusations about the failure of others but pleasant conversation of the day's events.

Summary. Lots of mealtime stress can be avoided if the child is trained to eat what is
served. The parents transfer God's goodness to the children by purchasing, preparing, and
providing a nutritious meal and a nice mealtime atmosphere.

Pause for Reflection: What are your mealtime manners? What good things would you
like to happen at the dinner table?

Area #3 In Public

How do you train a child to act properly in public?

Typical approach

The parents desire to socialize with others but the child often distracts the parent. The
child wanders where he shouldn't, runs about making disturbance, or just acts naughtily
so that parent can't pay attention to those he or she need to talk to. The parent convinces
the child to 'obey' with lots of innutritious snacks. This of course just convinces them to
disobey again next time.

Seeds Sprouts Plants

(Nature of evil) (Short term results) (Long term results)
Disobedience brings reward. Parents can't accomplish much; don't often go out; Child thinks he can get away with things. He
become embarrassed. The child manipulates the manipulates parents and other authorities to
parents. He learns how to disobey to get what he get his or her way.6 They get poor health.
 wants.

God's Way

A parent should expect that a child would be polite, act orderly and carefully observe his
parents' expectations. The child should be other-conscious. They should respond to his
parents' wishes.

Rules for politeness (etiquette) come from the scripture. One should act as if others are
more important than himself.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you
regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own
personal interests, but also for the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4)

A child needs to learn to control his words and actions in such a way that he attends to the
needs of others. If a parent is talking, then he should observe that he should not be noisy.
If he catches himself as being too noisy or hear or sees Dad' s caution, he should instantly
quiet down.

Acting orderly is very important. Disorderly behavior includes doing things that might
cause him to bump into someone, have something thrown at someone, hurt someone,
very loud, not take care of things, or not clean up after himself. We want our child to act
in such a way that the parents don't notice the children.

I remember once that a church closed the child' s playroom after church instead of
allowing the children to play there. That room with the toys was no doubt the best place
for children to play. But because they left the place such a mess, they decided to close it
down after church. Would it not be more ideal for each child be trained to pick up after
him. Or would it not be better if the whole groups would cooperatively and speedily
picked up at the hint that the parents had to leave. I have seen it work.

We cannot expect the child to know all the specific rules of the parent when in a public
place, especially if it is new. But if one does not allow the child to jump on ones own
furniture, then the child should be taught not to jump on other people' s furniture either.
The general rule would be, " Don't do to others (or other things) what one is not allowed
to do at home." When trained properly at home, then the child will normally act nicely in
the public.7

The child needs to pay careful attention to the desires of the parent. The parent should tell
the child what he generally expects such as where to stay and what not to do. It helps if
the parent has developed a sign by which the child knows to be quieter or that he will get
chastised upon returning home. When the parent calls, the child should come as soon as
possible. No exceptions. At home, we have the child answer, "Coming Daddy," or "Okay,
Mom." This is not as appropriate in public places.
 The parents should be considerate of naptimes, a child' s age, a child' s hunger and
general crankiness from not sleeping well the night before. An attentive parent must not
abuse his authority but be attentive to the child' s needs. There needs to be a good
balance. If a child seems to be unnaturally cranky, perhaps the child is getting sick and
the parent should leave a little bit early. Of course if once the child is home and the child
seems well, he should learn that he has misinterpreted the fussing.

Summary. Parents should train their children well at home and they will behave in
public. How grand it is to be thrown a few complements on how well the child behaves!
There is your chance to testify to the power of God' s Word and consistent application of
it.

Pause for Reflection: Are you embarrassed about your children' s behavior? Does your
children' s poor behavior keep you from attending activities? Do people like to be around
your children?

Area #4 At Church Meetings

How do you train a child to act properly in meeting places?

Typical approach

Parents are embarrassed to go to church or attempt to sit in church meetings because of

the disturbance their young child makes. So the parents just don't go or the mother stays
in the nursery. Once the child knows that he or she can get away from quietly sitting still
for an hour' s service, one can be sure that he will do what is needed to' escape.' The
parent will say that the child cannot sit still. They will believe it.

Seeds Sprouts Plants

(Nature of evil) (Short term results) (Long term results)
Delight in pleasure over Disrespect towards God and parents. Parents are manipulated Children despise those they
reverence for those in and not aware of it. The child does not learn self-control manipulate. They will avoid what they
authority. sitting still and being attentive. have despised.

God' s Way

Children can learn to sit still. There is a longer training process for littler ones, but it does
work and is needed. Children tend to be impatient in worship services. Parents think it is
wrong to expect their child to sit still. These same parents should how they can sit still in
front of a television set for a period of time without moving. Children need to control the
physical in order to be responsive to the spiritual.

Now it shall be, if you will diligently obey the LORD your God, being careful to do all
His commandments which I command you today, the LORD your God will set you high
above all the nations of the earth. And all these blessings shall come upon you and
overtake you, if you will obey the LORD your God. (Deuteronomy 28:1-2)
Many parents think that their children are naturally' active.' Although this is true, it is an
excuse for lack of training. Parents only need to remember their attention span is shorter.
But since they are not taking any tests, this does not matter. If the parents want the
children to sit still for part or all of the worship service, or any other meeting, then they
should train them to do so.

Our philosophy is to train them so they know nothing else. This doesn't mean that they
are quiet. They are noisy without even knowing it. Our cute little 18 month is a very good
girl, but she can't be quiet in church for long. She doesn't really understand the command
to be quiet. She might be singing when people are praying or happily talking away on
Daddy' s lap. Unfortunately, these responses make too much noise. So one of the parents
need to take her out.

If we take them to a playroom, then the child will soon make a connection: make noise
and go to play room. If we do this, we have just set ourselves up for a repeat
performance. They were not originally manipulating the parent. We just trained them to
think this way. Once they get the connection, they just make the noise and the parent
makes the move.

Parents used to think our children' s quietness in church was because they were girls. Our
first three children were girls. They made excuses for themselves. In fact their ability to
sit through one and half hour worship services was through hard training. God has now
given us three boys to prove the difference is not training. Boys are a bit more restless,
but they can sit through meetings as well as girls if they are trained. How, then, can we
train our children?

Training

We start before they know of anything different. We do not want them to think that there
are any alternatives. Once they taste this freedom, they are harder, though not impossible,
to train. Bringing the infant to the nursery is fine. Having them accompany you is fine
too. Just remember the mother has a harder time concentrating with her baby there. She is
very attentive to the baby' s needs.

The key to training occurs when the child can start observing his change of
circumstances. At about 6-8 months, the child starts to become familiar with the worship
service. By ten months the child should be with the parent for the worship. One parent
will need to prepare his or herself to take the child out if he disturbs others. Sit towards
the back. There is no need to chastise. The child is unaware of the disturbance he is
making. In our case, the Dad takes the baby out when he is able. He does this to help
Mom concentrate. He can usually focus on the message even when holding the baby.

Usually the child will fuss for a couple of months but the parent refuses to take her to the'
fun' room or feed him candy to bribe him. He needs to emphasize to the child that his
noises do not reward him with anything. In fact, dad doesn't even put the child down in
case the child thinks he can run around. He just holds his son or daughter.8 After about 6
months of this, the child starts discerning the noises he makes and can be trained. When
the child can understand such boundaries – such as obey his parent' s word, be quiet, etc.,
then he can be chastised. We of course do not chastise him in church but at home. This
age of understanding is not fixed and depends a lot on what training he has learned at
home.9

Our children sit through those' long' services. Actually, most services are not long. If the
parent shows boredom, the child will pick up on their impatient attitudes in an instant.
This makes it even more difficult. The parent is too honest to openly show his lack of
desire to be there because of his image. The child doesn't care about this! As parents
convey their true excitement about meeting the Lord, the child will not mind being there.
They also sense that expectation.

Remember that there is room for special occasions and purposes the parents have well
thought out. If things will be different at church one Sunday, then the parents should
discuss this ahead of time. We prefer not to send our children to Junior Worship if
available. We are not legalists or prideful that our way is better. We are thinking about
what is best for our children short and long-term. Each couple is responsible to work out
how they are training their children to respect God and others. We have found that Junior
Worship is training the child through things. They are not trained in patience but in
distraction.

Purpose

Man is commanded to worship the awesome and mighty Creator. We are not wrong in
training our child to spend this hour more special than other times. They need to be
trained to rightly come before the eternal God in a humble heart and mind. Their
manipulation of the parent to play is exactly the opposite of what should be happening.
We do not go to church for entertainment but for meeting God. We do not go for friends
or food. We serve God. This means we need to train our children on how to regularly
assemble before Him and put away their toys and' fun.' There are higher objectives.

Pause for Reflection: What are your goals for your children at church? Do these goals
please God? Do you love God more than anything in the world? How do you know and
show this?

C. General Principles on Implementing Boundaries

1. Note ones frustration. The parent, for example, wants the children not to leave a certain
room in a mess! These frustrations often reflect a deeper standard that is being violated.
Many parents have a difficult time isolating what is wrong. They only know it is wrong.
In this case we see a sense of order, respect for things and cleanliness is being
transgressed.

2. Observe what one wants done in an area that relates to that child. The young toddler
cannot sweep, but he can pick up papers, put away toys and straighten up the bookcase.
3. Breakdown the whole project into different tasks. These tasks might mean different
areas of the room to be cleaned, kinds of activities to be done, time to be cleaned, etc.

4. Choose one task that the child can learn to do. He can put away the alphabet toy.

5. Do the task with the child. Note where he needs help. In this case, he might not know
how to happily put the tray away. Show him how to do it in a fun way!

6. If the task requires something that the child can't do, such as something he can't reach;
modify the task or the request. We could, perhaps, make a place for it on the lower shelf.

7. Once the task comes easy, start on another one until the whole job is being
accomplished.

8. Settle on a time when the job needs to be done. We might say the room needs to be
cleaned right after dinner. (He still can't tell time).

9. Settle on a consequence for disobedience. Follow through with chastisement when

appropriate.

10. Follow up on the child' s activity. Must take a look; listen to the child.

11. Look for ways to encourage. Praise his developing virtues: being cheerful, thorough,
attentive, faithful, etc. Do not praise his looks or natural gifts (things which he is not
responsible for) which can easily lead to pride.

Pause for Reflection: Work through these steps. Start with one frustration you have.
What is it that you would like your child to do that he is not? Follow through the steps.
What problems do you have carrying them out?

Summary

The parents are not only able to have the children do what they should but are responsible
to do this before the Almighty God.

------- Parenting Principles --------

 God expects the parents to make their children do what is right and proper.
 Each child has a tendency not to do what is right and proper. They must be
trained.
 Wherever the parent neglects to cultivate the proper actions and behaviors, wrong
actions and attitudes develop.
 By focusing on training what the child should do, the parent without knowing
eliminates wrong attitudes and behaviors and sets the child up to good disciplines.
 Routines are good and necessary for raising a healthy child.
 ------- Questions -------

1. Why is it that the parent can enforce what he likes on the child?

2. How does the parent actually enforce the child to do these things?

3. Why is it so important to train children to high standards?

4. What might lack of control of emotions lead to?

5. How should a child treat property?

6. Why are routines important?

7. Why should the parent determine what and when the child should eat?

8. What Biblical basis do common polite rules have?

9. Why is it so important for children to learn to sit still to worship God?

10. Should we praise virtue or achievement? Why?