A REPORT ON

GOOD PARENTING:
OUR COUNTRYS TOMMOROW DEPENDING ON THEM

Submitted in partial fulfillment for the award of Masters of Business Administration

Submitted to:

PROF. JEAN SALDANA

Submitted by: ADITYA KR. AGARWAL ANANT PANDEY APRAJITA PATHAK GAURAV SHARMA LAV SOOD NOOPUR FALOD SHIVAM SHARMA
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

I extend my sincere gratitude to Prof Jean Saldana, for giving me the opportunity to do this study and undergo the process of learning. I thank her for all the trust and faith she posed in me and I only hope that I have been able to live up to her expectations. Her guidance and support was helpful in providing me with a clearer perspective.

Table of Contents
1. Introduction

2. Review of Literature

3. Objectives of the study

4. Scope of the Project

5. Methodology

6. Limitations of the study

7. Analysis

8. Conclusion

9. References

10. Appendix: Questionnaire

INTRODUCTION

First lets discuss what is parenting?

Parenting plays a very vital role in the upbringing of children. It is the duty of the parents to properly rear their children and up bring them to be a very responsible person in the society. Parenting is a very serious social phenomenon as it determines the future of the children. From ancient times, parents have resorted to various ways by which they rear their children. Parenting styles depend on the perception of the parents on the styles of parenting. Many parents resort to the parenting styles to which their parents had adhered to.

Importance of Good parenting Good parenting which depend upon various factors like the psychology of your child,
personality of both of you and your spouse, personality of your child, social structure, the situation etc.

One can understand the importance of Good parenting by the fact that Parenting is
one of the most researched areas in the field of social science.

But one should understand that parenting needs so much knowledge on how to bring
up a child, what are their expectations, what you should do and what you should not do.

Good parenting develops empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, cooperation,

kindness and cheerfulness in your child.

At the same time, Good parenting also promotes intellectual curiosity, motivation, and urge to achieve inside a child.

By Good parenting, you can avoid developing anxiety, depression, eating disorders, antisocial behavior, etc. in your children.

PARENTING MODELS
Although race may be a significant contributing factor, social class, wealth, and income have the strongest impact on what methods of child rearing are used by parents. Lack of money is found to be the defining factor in the style of child rearing that is chosen, and minorities are more likely to have less wealth or assets available for use in their children's upbringing.

Models of parenting
Attachment parenting Seeks to create strong emotional bonds, avoiding physical punishment and accomplishing discipline through interactions recognizing a child's emotional needs all while focusing on holistic understanding of the child. Historic Developmental (Child as Apprentice) Skill Based Model As a child's independent capacities emerge, ever more complex opportunities for parental instruction in or modeling of the widest possible number of essential skills and knowledge are presented. The child gains self-worth simultaneous to the emergence of various physical and mental competencies in an ever-growing number of essential venues, as adulthood is approached. Nurturant parent model A family model where children are expected to explore their surroundings with protection from their parents. Single Parent Model The percentage of children being raised by single parents has been flat for the last 20 years but it remains nearly double the rate of 1970. Obstacles which create difficulty for single parents relate primarily to a halving of the numerous resources fundamental to parenting: income is often reduced dramatically; opportunities to present and process adult male and female roles, responsibilities, and skills to children are reduced. Slow parenting Encourages parents to plan and organise less for their children, instead allowing them to enjoy their childhood and explore the world at their own pace. strict father model An authoritarian approach, places a strong value on discipline as a means to survive and thrive in a harsh world. Many traditional Asian fathers tend to adopt a stoic demean our in the family, leaving the mother to communicate and interact with the child. This can often inhibit the bond-building process between father and child.

Parenting practices
Rules of traffic An instructional approach to discipline where parents explain to their
children how to behave, teaching the rules of behaviour as they would the rules of traffic, with little explanation or deeper moral and social implications.

Fine gardening Parents believe that children have positive and negative qualities, the
latter of which parents should "weed out" or "prune" into an appropriate shape.

Rewards and punishments A method of discipline based on operant conditioning: for

a good behavior the child receives a reward or praise, and for a bad or unwanted behavior the child receives a punishment or reprimand.
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Parenting Styles

The Four Parenting Styles

1. Authoritarian Parenting
In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment. Authoritarian parents fail to explain the reasoning behind these rules. If asked to explain, the parent might simply reply, "Because I said so." These parents have high demands, but are not responsive to their children. According to Baum rind, these parents "are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation" (1991).

2. Authoritative Parenting
Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic. Authoritative parents are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions. When children fail to meet the expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing. Baum rind suggests that these parents "monitor and impart clear standards for their childrens conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. They want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative" (1991).

3. Permissive Parenting
Permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control. According to Baumrind, permissive parents "are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation" (1991). Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on the status of a friend more than that of a parent.

4. Uninvolved Parenting
An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. While these parents fulfill the child's basic needs, they are generally detached from their child's life. In extreme cases, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children.

The Impact of Parenting Styles

What effect do these parenting styles have on child development outcomes? In addition to Baumrind's initial study of 100 preschool children, researchers have conducted numerous other studies than have led to a number of conclusions about the impact of parenting styles on children. Authoritarian parenting styles generally lead to children who are obedient and proficient, but they rank lower in happiness, social competence and self-esteem. Authoritive parenting styles tend to result in children who are happy, capable and successful (Maccoby, 1992). Permissive parenting often results in children who rank low in happiness and self-regulation. These children are more likely to experience problems with authority and tend to perform poorly in school. Uninvolved parenting styles rank lowest across all life domains. These children tend to lack self-control, have low self-esteem and are less competent than their peers.

Why Do Parenting Styles Differ?

After learning about the impact of parenting styles on child development, you may wonder why all parents simply don't utilize an authoritative parenting style. After all, this parenting style is the most likely to produce happy, confident and capable children. What are some reasons why parenting styles might vary? Some potential causes of these differences include culture, personality, family size, parental background, socioeconomic status, educational level and religion. Of course, the parenting styles of individual parents also combine to create a unique blend in each and every family. For example, the mother may display an authoritative style while the father favors a more permissive approach. In order to create a cohesive approach to parenting, it is essential that parents learn to cooperate as they combine various elements of their unique parenting styles.

REVIEW OF LITERATURE
The permanent impact that parents have upon the children they rear is one of the most pressing issues within developmental psychology. Common sense, and the most immediately observable evidence, suggest that the choices adults make as parents shape the lives of their children forever. Yet beyond this obvious certainty, describing the course and intensity of these profoundly important vectors of influence is a prodigious task involving complex methods of observation and statistical analysis. For many decades, the evidence accumulated within developmental psychology was largely anecdotal, concerning itself with discrete observations concerning the goals that adults set for themselves as parents on one hand and the methods employed in reaching those goals on the other. Diana Baumrind's (1966) model of parenting served to synthesize these two elements in the creation of a typology which effectively described the parameters of the parent's field of possible interactions with their children. An empirically valid model of parenting styles allowed research to continue in the investigation of the relative effects of different styles: a parenting style designated as authoritative was found to correlate well with successful socialization of children. The paradigm shift marked by Baumrind's work included a new realization of the bidirectionality of the child-parent relationship: children themselves can contribute to their own development through their relative influence on their parents (Darling & Steinberg, 1993). Lewis (1981) challenged Baumrind's interpretations of exactly how the authoritative style encourages effective socialization in children, emphasizing a continued scientific ignorance of the specific pathways of even well-established parenting styles. Maccoby and Martin (1983) added a new dimension to Baumrind's model by describing dimensions of responsiveness and demandingness as tangible ways in which parenting styles vary in their actual manifestation. These two dimensions are sometimes termed differently, often referred to as warmth and control, but remain as a useful way of understanding the dynamics of parent-child influence. For the past quarter-century, psychological literature concerned with parenting styles and their effects on child development has shown great consistency in its theoretical underpinnings; Baumrind's typology, as modified since 1966, remains as a secure basis for a broad variety of research into the mysteries of the parent-child world. However, despite this theoretical consistency, current literature related to parenting styles covers a broad range of research questions and varies in its usage of "orthodox" typology theory. Although there is some work in the field with the aim of validating and replicating parent style theoretical constructs and their direct measurement, most of the current research uses typology theory as an instrument for investigating specific developmental issues across the early life span. The result has been a rather haphazard array of well-lit corners in what is still to a great extent a darkened room. Most research has accumulated at the earliest and latest extremes of childhood and young adulthood: there is a wealth of information regarding parenting style influence during infancy and also during adolescence (including, of course, the ubiquitous college student), although the relative intensity of parental influence has been shown to decrease starting between 8 and 11 years of age, at which point peers, siblings, and other
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family members begin to assume roles of greater importance to the young person (Bowers, Smith, & Binney, 1994). The result has been a rather spotty, problem-specific range of investigation for school aged pre-adolescents during the last five years. However, it is possible to review this range methodically by considering the general avenues of inquiry which have been followed during this time period. Darling and Steinberg (1993) describe a theoretical dichotomy in current research between researchers focusing on the developmental consequences of specific parenting behaviors and those focusing on parenting style as a more general, global phenomenon. Although this analysis of the recent research scene indeed accounts for much of the current activity, it is possible to enumerate more specific approaches appearing in psychological journals of the past five years or so, with special emphasis in relating parenting styles to child and adolescent behavior in the peer milieu. These approaches include research which is concerned with the psychobehavioral antecedents to adult behavior constituting particular parenting styles, research which is designed to investigate particular psychological problems in terms of parenting style, research which attempts to correlate specific parenting styles with specific child developmental outcomes, research which includes consideration of parenting styles among other factors such as attachment style , and research which correlates parenting style with specific instances of psychopathy or maladaptive behavior. Of course, these prescriptions involve some overlap of research intent, yet they may serve as a general framework for a brief analysis of activity in the field. Research concerned with psycho-behavioral antecedents to parenting styles Maccoby and Martin (1983) effected a significant transformation of Baumrind's typology by introducing a specific value dimension which is theorized to result in the global phenomenon known as parenting styles. Often referred to as parental warmth and control, these variables represent one relatively successful attempt to "tease apart" the specific ingredients which make up the various parenting styles. Studies of such variables are concerned with establishing and measuring the elemental psychological factors present in the parent which may contribute to global parenting style and thus influence child development. A good example of this kind of research is presented by Miller et al (1993), who investigated various psychological and behavioral characteristics in the parents of 3-year-olds, with a follow-up replication study involving 9- to 13-year-olds. These researchers attempted to establish correlations among parental depression, marital quality, global parenting style, and children's "acting out" (externalizing) behavior. Instead of finding direct links, the group found correlational pathways between parental depression and externalizing behavior in the child which were mediated by intervening factors of positive marital affection and parental warmth. The study concludes that individual parent characteristics can affect child development through the parental styles which result from those characteristics, and that from this path model it can be deduced that dysfunction in the parent is clearly correlated with child dysfunction, specifically in terms of externalizing behavior such as aggression among peers, disobedience, delinquency, et cetera. Thus, it can be established that low positive affect between parents results in less warmth in the parent-child relationship, which in turn results
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in greater externalizing behavior in the child. Similar observations were made by Cowan, Cowan, & Kerig (1992), who found that individual and marital data obtained from parents during late pregnancy of the mother predicted authoritarian parenting (as well as marital warmth and conflict) ate age 3 of the child. Another study including considerations of the antecedents of parenting style was published by Harralson and Lawler (1992). These investigators pursued the relationships among Type A characteristics in parents, parenting styles, and social competence in children. This study, as in Miller et al (1993) above, found parenting style to act as an interface between intrinsic characteristics of the parents (here, Type A behavior) and social problems in the child. Type A behavior in parents were found to result in parenting styles of high pressure and high control, which was itself correlated with impatient and aggressive behavior in 50 1st-6th grade children in social situations among peers. Parenting styles as associated with parent's psychological adjustment and martial quality was found to correlate with children's social competence in Cowan, Cowan, Heming, & Miller (1991) and in Heatherington and Clingempeel (1992). Olweus (1993) found that negativism and "weak temperament" in the father was associated with victim-prone behavior in peer social situations for the child....presumably through the medium of a parenting style marred by the father's own dysfunctions. Research investigating developmental issues in terms of parenting style Another general research approach has been to illuminate problems associated with developmental psychology with the knowledge available from studies of parenting style typology. This arena of research has yielded a plethora of problem-specific studies of all kinds, and is made possible by the robustness of the theoretical constructs fundamental to typology. This avenue of inquiry has yielded research findings correlating parenting styles with phenomena as diverse as intercultural and interracial studies of self-concept (Mboya, 1995), adolescent suicide (Martin & Waite, 1994), and moral reasoning in children (Boyes & Allen, 1993). Within the more narrowly defined area of childhood peer interactions, Bowers, Mith, & Binney (1994) have investigated the perennial problem of schoolyard bullies and the victims of bullies. From a sample of 20 bullies, 20 victims of bullies, and 20 bully/victims selected by peer nomination from three English middle schools, these researchers identified elements of family background in order to reveal predisposing factors to membership in one of the above groups. Distinct profiles on each group were yielded by the Family Relations Test, the Parenting Style Questionnaire, and the Family Systems Test: bully/victims showed a perceived inconsistent discipline/control behavior on the part of the parent coupled with lack of warmth. Bullies showed ambivalent feelings towards family members and a lack of familial cohesion, as well as an overriding concern for power within the family. Both bullies and bully/victims showed lack of paternal presence in their childhoods, whether the father was actually resident with the family or not. Habitual victims, on the other hand, showed an enmeshment with the family bordering on over-involvement as compared with the "normal"
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control group, who showed family cohesion without overdependence on parents, in the context of a warm, secure home environment. Other studies have continued to investigate the parent style factor in many other developmental questions. In Parish & McCluskey (1992), self-concept in adolescents was found to correlate with perceived level of parental warmth, but not with level of restrictiveness (control). Steingberg et al (1994) investigated social competence in school contexts as a function of the four parenting styles, finding that while beneficial authoritative parenting serves to maintain high level of functioning in the adolescent, the harmful consequences of neglectful parenting styles tend to accumulate and worsen over time. Dishion (1990) showed that lack of parental discipline contributes to antisocial behavior in children. C. Patterson et al (1990) found that children rejected by their peers and who exhibited aggressive behavior reported unsatisfactory relationships with the father, and G. Patterson at al (1989) similarly attributed peer rejection and conduct disorders to poor parental discipline and monitoring. Research correlating specific developmental problems with specific parenting styles Another productive trend in recent research has been to determine the relationships between specific parenting styles and specific developmental outcomes in the child. Durbin et al (1993) surveyed over 3,000 9th-12th graders concerning their placement in peer groups and school and also concerning the parenting style of their caretaker(s). Those students raised under authoritative parenting styles were most usually associated with various peer-supported social groups such as "jocks," "brains," "populars," etc.. Uninvolved (neglectful) styles were associated with peer groups who rejected adult social mores ("druggies" and "partyers"), and indulgent styles were found to encourage membership in "fun culture" groups. Hein and Lewko (1994) found that high performing science students aged 12-22 most likely experienced an authoritative upbringing typified by high levels of familial cohesion and interaction, and also high achievement motivation and encouragement. Bayer and Cegala (1992) examined trait verbal aggressiveness and argumentativeness among peers in children from kindergarten to 6th grade, finding positive argumentativeness and negative aggressiveness associated with the authoritative style, and negative argumentativeness with positive aggressiveness with authoritarian style. Research combining attachment security and parental styles The connections among attachment security, parental style, and child developmental outcome has been shown to be complex and bi-directional. Attachment security, and the "internal working models" derived therefrom, is a field unto itself with a rich research tradition. It is not accurate to assert that a given parental style will engender a certain level of attachment in childhood and beyond; social contexts and even the child him- or herself have been shown to influence the parent and the parent's behavior and parenting styles (see Rubin et al, 1990). Therefore many studies attempt to consider the effects of parenting style and attachment security side-by-side, without inferring causal connections between them.
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One example of such a study is to be found in Booth et al (1994), who measured indexes of social adjustment among peers in middle childhood and correlated them with attachment security, parenting style, and environmental conditions. The study concluded that attachment security was the best predictor of internalizing difficulties at age 4 and of social engagement/acceptance problems at age 8. Maternal parental style emerged as the best predictor of externalizing difficulties (see also Miller et al, 1993). Other studies have studied peer interaction effects purely as a function of attachment security (ie, Main, 1991; Turner, 1991; and Kavanagh, 1990). Research concerned with psychopathology and parental style A final category includes studies which examine the relationship between psychological dysfunction and parental style, both for parents and for children. Clinical research has indicated that when one or both parents suffers from a serious mental disorder, the children of such parents are at greater risk for cognitive, emotional, and social problems (Field, Healy, Goldstein, & Guthertz, 1990), and that these dysfunctions in the parent have their deleterious effect on children through the compromised parental styles which result (Belsky, Rovine, & Fish, 1989). "Pathway" theories have showed that symptoms of depression can encourage "acting out" in children through the intermediary factors of marital affect and parental warmth, in that alleged order (Miller et al, 1993). In general, parent-child problems have been associated with almost every major childhood psychological disorder (Rutter & Garmezy, 1984). Conclusion and future directions Theoretically sound foundations in the area of parenting style paradigms have allowed for a rich and varied array of research directions in developmental psychology, and this diverse research trend seems likely to continue. However, there remain some conceptual blindspots in this field which call for further study: questions involving how the same parenting styles may effect children differently, and at different stages of development (Steinberg, Elmen, & Mounts, 1989). While theorists continue to perfect the construct validity of parental style typology (ie, Darling & Steinberg, 1993), the present state of the art has proven a powerful instrument in revealing various aspects of the child's developing world.

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OBJECTIVE
1. To know types of parenting. 2. To know the current parenting style in INDIA 3. Good parenting is in different phases which are based on some factors that range from genetics to environment and from nature to nurture.

4. To know the change in parenting style in INDIA.

SCOPE OF THE PROJECT

The scope of the project was to include all married people. The project was strictly for internal use of the educational institution.

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RESEARCH METHODOLOGY

For doing the research we have taken the help of samples apart from it we have searched about good parenting and types of parenting with the help of internet, having direct interaction with the parents have also helped us to know about the meaning of parenting. Although the sample is small but the outcome can be easily notice. With the help of internet we got the idea of different kind of parenting style such as authoritative, authoritarians, permissive, uninvolved parenting.

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LIMITATION

1. Small sample 2. People were not ready to participate in survey. 3. Rural people are not the part of the survey. 4. Lack of time. 5. One of the most common problems faced by parents is the generation gap.

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Parenting across the childs life span

Planning and pre-pregnancy
During pregnancy the unborn child is affected by many decisions his or her parents make, particularly choices linked to their lifestyle. The health and diet decisions of the mother can have either a positive or negative impact on the child during prenatal parenting. In addition to physical management of the pregnancy, medical knowledge of your physician, hospital, and birthing options are important. Many people believe that parenting begins with birth, but the mother begins raising and nurturing a child well before birth. Scientific evidence indicates that from the fifth month on, the unborn baby is able to hear sound, be aware of motion. Depending on how many children the mother carries also determines the amount of care needed during prenatal and post-natal periods.

New-borns and Infants

Newborn parenting, up to one month of age, is where the responsibilities of parenthood begins. A newborn's basic needs are food, sleep, comfort and cleaning which the parent provides. Breastfeeding is the recommended method of feeding by all major infant health organizations. If breastfeeding is not possible or desired, bottle feeding is a common alternative. Other alternatives include feeding breast milk or formula with a cup, spoon, feeding syringe, or nursing supplementer. Until infants learn to walk, between 10 and 14 months, they are carried in the arms, held in slings or baby carriers, or transported in baby carriages or strollers. Upon learning to walk the child is then known as a toddler.

Toddlers
Toddlers are much more active than infants and are challenged with learning how to do simple tasks by themselves. At this stage, parents are heavily involved in showing the child how to do things rather than just doing things for them, and the child will often mimic the parents. Toddlers need help to build their vocabulary, increase their communications skills, and manage their emotions. Toddlers will also begin to understand social etiquette such as being polite and taking turns. Parents of toddlers are expected to help guide and teach the child, establish basic routines (such as washing hands before meals or brushing teeth before bed), and increase the child's responsibilities.

Child
Younger children are becoming more independent and are beginning to build friendships. They are able to reason and can make their own decisions given hypothetical situations. Young children demand constant attention, but will learn how to deal with boredom and be
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able to play independently. They also enjoy helping and feeling useful and able. Parents may assist their child by encouraging social interactions and modelling proper social behaviours. A large part of learning in the early years comes from being involved in activities and household duties. Parents who are consistent and fair with their discipline, who openly communicate and offer explanations to their children, and who do not neglect the needs of their children in some way often find they have fewer problems with their children as they mature.

Adolescents
During adolescence children are beginning to form their identity and are testing and developing the interpersonal and occupational roles that they will assume as adults. Although adolescents look to peers and adults outside of the family for guidance and models for how to behave, parents remain influential in their development. Parents often feel isolated and alone in parenting adolescents,[20] but they should still make efforts to be aware of their adolescents' activities, provide guidance, direction, and consultation.

Adults
Young adults as children become young adults their personalities show the result of successful or unsuccessful parenting. Especially it is noticeable when young adults make their independent life decisions about their education, work and choosing mates for friendship or marriage. Middle age and old age Parenting doesn't stop when children grow up and age. Parents always remain to be parents for old children. Their relationship continues developing if both parties want to keep it or improve. The parenting issues may include the relationship with grandchildren and stepchildren.

GOOD PARENTING Most parents are pretty good parents, says Steinberg, But Ive never met a parent who is perfect 100 percent of the time. We all can improve our batting average. Ten Basic Principles1. What you do matters. Tell yourself that every day. How you treat and respond to your child should come from a knowledgeable, deliberate sense of what you want to accomplish. Always ask yourself: What effect will my decision have on my child?

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2. You cannot be too loving. When it comes to genuine expressions of warmth and affection, you cannot love your child too much. It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love. What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. 3. Be involved in your childs life. "Being an involved parent takes time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. 4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child. Make sure your parenting keeps pace with your childs development. You may wish you could slow down or freeze-frame your childs life, but this is the last thing he wants. You may be fighting getting older, but all he wants is to grow up. 5. Establish and set rules. If you dont manage your childs behaviour when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older and you arent around. Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing?

6. Foster your childs independence. Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, shes going to need both. Accepting that it is normal for children to push for autonomy is absolutely key to effective parenting. 7. Be consistent. If your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion, or if you enforce them only intermittently, your childs misbehaviour is your fault, not his. Your most important disciplinary tool is consistency. 8. Avoid harsh discipline. Of all the forms of punishment that parents use, the one with the worst side effects is physical punishment.

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9. Explain your rules and decisions. Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to. Generally, parents over- explain to young children and under- explain to adolescents. 10. Treat your child with respect. The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully. You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for her relationships with others.

THEREFORE Raising children is not something we think of as especially scientific, says Steinberg. But parenting is one of the most well-researched areas in the entire field of social science. It has been studied for 75 years, and the findings have remained remarkably consistent over time." Good parenting, says Steinberg, is parenting that fosters psychological adjustment elements like honesty, empathy, self-reliance, kindness, cooperation, self-control and cheerfulness.

FOR EXAMPLE -:
Mahatma Gandhi was one of those people who believed strongly in the goodness of family life and therefore he never endorsed the view of separating young children from their parents for studies or any other reason. His opinion on the subject is well summed up in his own words: "The education that a child imbibes in a well-ordered household is impossible to obtain in hostels". This statement made by him almost half a century ago, in fact still holds true in todays fast paced world, a world in which we see children who are not even a year old being left in crches. This is of course the case only because both the parents of the child are busy with their careers and therefore do not have time to spare for the child. Most parents perhaps overlook the fact that the children undergo their most formative part of their life in the first six years of their life. In fact it is in this phase that 80% of their mental make-up takes place. And it is this fact coupled with the state of parenting that exists today, that makes one wonder about what sort of legacy we are passing on to the next generation. In fact, it makes one wonder whether there is any legacy to talk about at all. Gandhis views on parenting and the importance of parenting can be summed up in another belief that was held by him and as stated by him: "for proper upbringing of children, the
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parents ought to have a general knowledge of the care and nursing of babies". In fact, it is believed that the development of the child begins in the conception stage of the fetus itself. It is believed that the physical and mental states of the parents at the moment of conception have an effect an on the characteristics of the infant. And in fact thereafter the moods of the mother throughout the period of pregnancy, the desires and the temperament collectively have a strong developmental effect on the childs mental state. Mahatma Gandhi considered character building as the highest form of learning that is to be imparted to a child. In his own words on the subject he states: "I had always given the first place to the culture of the heart or the building of character, and as I felt confident that moral training could be given to all alike, no matter how different their ages and their upbringing, I decided to live amongst my children all the 24 hours of the day as their father. I regarded character building as the proper foundation for their education and if the foundation was firmly laid, they would be able to face life in a much better way. However, according to Gandhi character education of a child never equated to propagating to force ones viewpoint on the children. It was Gandhi who said, "It is idle to expect ones children and wards necessarily to follow the same course of evolution as oneself."

PAST CULTURE & VALUES

Indias cultural heritage has its base in Indian values like nonviolence, respect for elders, for the tools of their trade, family bondage, and the very Indian athiti devo bhavaIn spite of the diversity in the Indian continent, these values are cherished. The value of prayer in India in some form or the other is prevalent in all sections of society. Whether it is at home or at the place of work, the day starts off with a prayer or an aarathi. The old and infirm are taken care of at home and family ties are very strong. With the increasing influence of the west, it has become very hard for parents to try and keep these values intact, for the younger generation is always in a sense of conflict between the values that they have and the values that are the age old adage cleanliness is next to godliness still holds good. This is something that all parents should inculcate in their children as it is a form of discipline. Honesty and integrity old fashioned as they may sound come high on the priority list. These values are going to hold them in good stead in all the days to come. In an age where corruption is on the increase, the value of honesty becomes even more important. We may not be able to change the world, but in our daily lives we can definitely practice being honest. Children learn from what they see so set an example by being honest yourself. Respect for elders is a very Indian value and it stems from time immemorial. In keeping with changing times, it is essential for parents to teach children to respect not only elders but all
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human beings. When you give respect you earn respect. Children must be taught to believe in their abilities and must be taught to believe in themselves. They must be taught to be tough and resilient and have the courage to bounce back after adversities. Give them room to grow into what they actually are. Allow them to dream and help them to attain their dreams. This is always not very easy for it may mean going away from a well-trodden path. Instill in them the courage to take failure in their stride and help them learn from their mistakes. Selfconfidence should be the password which rules their lives. Learn to listen not to what they tell you but what they are trying to tell you. Always have time for them. Encourage them to ask and question, help them to find out the answers if any of the questions stump you and you will find a good ally in your children. In an age where the internet and television monopolize children, a passion for reading must be inculcated. Reading helps children to become more refined in their behavior, more aware in their approach and allows them the privilege of armchair travel. Children must be taught to love books right from when they are very young. Gift them books for their birthdays, encourage them to gift books and build a small library of their own. In the process of discussion of a particular book, not only do you establish a rapport with the children but you make the ties stronger. With this as a base, parenting and value instilling becomes a little easier. However we have to contend with a generation which is so modern in its approach. Keeping this in mind, small changes in approach can reap rich dividends.

PRESENT CULTURE & VALUES

Modern era has witnessed new theories about the art of parenting. The term parenting has evolved in a big way. New parenting theories have emerged to make the experience of parenting more soothing and more blissful. Despite the advent of so many different notions of parenting right from style, types, and methods to designs, the ultimate purpose of parenting is just one. It is to become an effective parent. Parenting is all about getting all the basics done in a proper way. It is a very balanced act that must performed with all the care and dedication of the world. Different parents have different approaches towards punishment. A child is bound to make mistakes. You cannot help it. But how should parents treat mistakes of children? Physical violence or oral bombardment or plain ignorance? How should they deal with this problem? First of all, parents need to focus on severity and nature of problem. Children make mistakes, sometimes innocuously and some other times to get attention. They know if they make mistakes their parents will definitely turn to them. Have you realized whether you are giving ample time to your kids? If they are going through attention deficit syndrome? Or parents are giving in to every demand of children and they can no longer take any refusal for any

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demand? Every situation has different complexion level. But parents should treat each case in isolation.

Comparison of past and present parenting styles in India

The parenting styles of Indians are unique to the history and culture of the Asian subcontinent. Family roles of various members are clearly defined and passed down through generations -- the father is the breadwinner and the mother the homemaker. Around them is the vast network of extended family members who contribute to the rearing of the child. Although parenting styles have changed for some with increasing education and cultural mobility, social observers say for the vast majority the household dynamic of an Indian family remains the same.

The Authoritarian Parent

The typical Indian family is headed by the father who arbitrates in authoritarian style matters related to family and children. Female members of the family take charge of all other matters of the house including those related to children. For the male patriarch it is more important traditionally to maintain a distance and formality in his relationship with his children. Supporters of this kind of parenting say it fosters respect for elders -- a very important ideal in Indian culture.

Joint Families
The extended or joint family is another typical feature of traditional Indian culture. Parenting is not strictly the domain of the father and the mother -- it is the business and concern of maternal and paternal aunts and uncles, grandparents, even distant relatives. An Indian child grows up in a house filled with people or in continual contact with relatives. This system is encouraged as a cradle for the well-nurtured child it but may cause the blurring of lines when it comes to parenting, some experts claim.

The Authoritative Parent

The educated, independent Indian parent will have a different style of parenting. As in authoritarian parenting, there will be limits and rules, but this style is more democratic and egalitarian than one where the child has very few rights to question or disagree the parent's edict. The increasingly educated middle class of India is now moving away from the style of parenting they had when they were children. New social studies reveal in such Indian households a child is encouraged to be independent and global in his outlook.

The New Indian Parent

The new Indian parent may be single and have an entirely different attitude towards parenting than his own parent's generation. With divorce, adoption and step-families becoming less taboo than they were in the generation before this, the new Indian parent is more open in style with his child. The small family will have both parents working and fewer children. As the concept of living becomes more westernized, so does the parenting style. In a 21st century Indian family, traditional meets modern.
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COMPARISON OF CULTURE India

Joint family is preferred. Children are dependent on their parents for a longer period of time.

Europe
Joint family culture is rare. Level of independence for children is high at a low age. In certain countries, such as China and Israel, it has been believed that serving the country is most important. With this idea in mind, parents, religious leaders, and teachers in those countries usually agree about what virtues are to be encouraged in children: lawfulness, cooperativeness, studiousness, dedication to the specific principles of the nation. In other parts of the world, it has been assumed that children are born and raised to serve the aims of the extended family or clan, and should prepare themselves for jobs important to the family.

India
When parents have a kind of moral certainty about the goals of raising children, they usually don't have to keep wondering and worrying about whether they are doing the right thing. It all follows from the expectations of the culture. Everybody agrees with those expectations and adheres to the same child-rearing practices. It's all crystal clear. Young parents learn about the aims and methods for rearing their children from ancient traditions and from having the extended family nearby to advice and help.

United States
But this security is often lacking in the present day. In the United States, for example, very few children are raised to believe that their principal destiny is to serve their family, their country, or their God. Generally children are given the feeling that they can set their own aims and occupations in life, according to their inclinations. We are raising them to be rugged individualists, with success often measured in material terms. An English anthropologist said that whereas in most countries children are taught to look up to their parents as rather distinguished superior people, in the United States parents will say to their child, "If you don't do better than I've done, you're a failure."

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Questionnaire
NAME: MALE/FEMALE: AGE:

Q. How many children do you have? _____________ Q. How many hours a day does your child watch television? 1) Less than 5 4) More than 15 Q How do you rate your children in terms of knowledge and studies? 1) Poor 4) Very Good 2) Average 5) Outstanding 3) Good 2) 5-10 3) 10-15

Q How much interest does your child take in playing sports/games/cocurricular activities? 1) Very active 4) Do not prefer Q. Does your child prefer junk food rather than home-made food? 1) Yes 2) No 3) Sometimes. 2) Active 3) Sometimes

Q. According to the height of your child tick the one related to his/her weight? 1) Underweight. 2) Normal. 3) Overweight.

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Q. Do you feel comfortable taking alcohol/tobacco products in front of your children? 1) Yes 2) No

Q. Do you get aggressive/shout in front of your children? 1) Yes 2) No 3) Sometimes.

Q How would you rate yourself in eyes of your children in relation to strictness? 1) Very strict 4) Friendly Q. How does your child behaves most of the time at home? 1) Angry 4) Happy Q. How do your children behave in front of your relatives? 1) Rude 4) Shy 2) Aggressive 5) Out-spoken 3) Soft-spoken 2) Sad 3) Normal 2) Strict 3) Lenient

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ANALYSIS

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Q. How many hours a day does your child watch television? 1) Less than 5 4) More than 15 2) 5-10 3) 10-15

respondents
16 14 12 10 8 6 4 2 0 less than5 5 to 10 10 to 15 more than 15 respondents

Out of the sample of 25 people, 14 people told that their children watch television for 5-10 hours a day, 6 out of them told that their children watch it for 10-15 hours a day and 5 people gave a response of less than 5 hours for the same. This shows that majority of the children watch television for 5-10 hours a day, which means that they restrain to do physical tasks like playing or similar activities and go for just watching television.

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Q. How do you rate your children in terms of knowledge and studies? 1) Poor 4) Very Good 2) Average 5) Outstanding 3) Good

respondents
14 12 10 8 6 4 2 0 poor average good v.good outstanding respondents

According to the response, majority of the children lie in the average segment when it comes to knowledge or studies. There are children who are very good and even outstanding in it but this count is low as compared to average.

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Q. How much interest does your child take in playing Sports/ games/cocurricular activities? 1) Very active 4) Do not prefer 2) Active 3) Sometimes

respondents
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 v.active active sometimes do not prefer respondents

This shows that almost 40% of the children are active in co-curricular activities but even the count for those who does not go for these is not less. Almost 30% of the total sample does not prefer going for the same. This shows that, on one side where majority of the people have interest in doing efforts in different artistic, playing or similar fields, there are still lot of them who avoid these.

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Q. Does your child prefer junk food rather than home-made food? 1) Yes 2) No 3) Sometimes

respondents
12 10 8 6 4 2 0 Yes No Sometimes respondents

Today, children are more curious to have junk food items available in the markets rather than the simple and healthy homemade food. This fact can clearly be observed by the collected feedback from different parents which depicts that out of the sample of 25 children 10 prefer junk food than the homemade one. There are 12 who prefer the same not every time but sometimes or may be occasionally.

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Q. According to the height of your child tick the one related to his/her weight? 1) Underweight. 2) Normal. 3) Overweight.

respondents
9 8.8 8.6 8.4 8.2 8 7.8 7.6 7.4 Underweight normal over weight respondents

As per the data collected, now days as most of the parents have become educated and aware about the health issues, they pay much heed to this. Therefore, majority of the children have their weights appropriate according to the heights they have.

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Q. Do you feel comfortable taking alcohol/tobacco products in front of your children? 1) Yes 2) No

respondents

25 20 15 10 5 0 Yes No respondents respondents

Due to the formed and perceived Indian culture and mythology, there is a relationship of respect and honor in both the children and the parents for each other. Almost every parent refused when they were asked that Do they feel comfortable taking alcohol/tobacco products in front of their children, but still a fact lies that 3 respondents told that they feel free to take such matters in front of their children.

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Q. Do you get aggressive/shout in front of your children? 1) Yes 2) No 3) Sometimes.

respondents
18 16 14 12 10 8 6 4 2 0 Yes No Sometimes respondents

As per the data collected, majority of the parents said that at times they get aggressive or shout in front of their children. The matter of fact which lies in this is that every child gets inspired by his/her parents, thus, if they see their parents getting rude every now and then, then this may make them the same.

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Q How would you rate yourself in eyes of your children in relation to strictness? 1) Very strict 4) Friendly 2) Strict 3) Lenient

respondents
12

10

8 respondents

0 Very strict strict Lenient Friendly

Almost 50% of the parents told that they prefer being strict to their children in order to keep them in their control so that they do not deviate from the right path but this statement was opposed by some parents who believed that being friendly to their children would make them supportive as well as more guiding parents as the open relation with their children would make them feel free to talk about almost every matter to their parents. Instead, for those who are strict, children might avoid telling or discussing the truth with them.

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Q. How does your child behaves most of the times at home? 1) Angry 4) Happy 2) Sad 3) Normal

respondents
16 14 12 10 8 6 4 2 0 Angry Sad Normal Happy respondents

At home, children get a decent environment and a cover of care and affection around them, which makes them behave in a normal manner rather than being angry or irritated. In fact, there are many who feel happy at home and not outside.

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Q. How do your children behave in front of your relatives? 1) Rude 4) Shy 2) Aggressive 5) Out-spoken 3) Soft-spoken

respondents
12

10

respondents

0 Rude Aggressive Soft-spoken shy Out-spoken

Out of the sample size of 25 people, 80% told that their children were softspoken or shy in front of relatives or strangers. Some even told that their children are out-spoken or even rude and aggressive at that time. This clearly gives an impression that how and what the parents have taught and nourished their children.

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CONCLUSION
As per the survey, we found that most of the children spent time watching television which results in the average performance 0f their academics as well as their participation in the co-curricular activities. Because of the change in eating habits more children prefer junk food which results in over-weight and underweight children. Due to the formed and perceived Indian culture and mythology, there is a relationship of respect and honor in both the children and the parents for each other. Some parents are strict as well as friendly due to which it creates a very healthy environment at home which results in good behavior of students. And they also show a very well mannered behavior in front of strangers and relatives.

Overall we can conclude that good parenting is very important for overall development of the children, their future and also for country because children is the future of nation

Good Parenting Empowers A Child

WELLNESS EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION CULTURE VALUE INTELLECTUAL EMPOWERMENT MONETERING AND COUNCELLING RESPECT FOR SELF, OTHERS & ENVIRONMENT

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WELLNESS Makes child healthy, strong and well-adjusted. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Enhance your child communication and social skills Decrease communication gap between child and parents, it helps them to
take right decisions.

CULTURE VALUE Makes your child values own culture and that of others, which is behind by todays generation. often left

INTELLECTUAL EMPOWERMENT Makes your child a critical thinker and independent learner which makes them lead in the future. RESPECT FOR SELF, OTHERS & ENVIRONMENT Makes your child to maintain the traditional way to respect elders and also environment. MONITERING AND COUNCELLING

Monitoring essentially refers to the extent to which parents know their childrens whereabouts, activities and also restricting them from wrong activities. Counselling helps protective effect on many adolescent risk behaviours and make your children sends out good values and prepare a life as creative adults.

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CREATING THE COUNTRYs FUTURE

Todays young minds are the creator of the country future.

Future is something that is created in present and by parenting a child we are parenting the countrys future. Its up to us how well we can do it.

Good parenting is parenting that helps protect children against the development of anxiety, depression, eating disorders and other types of psychological distress.

There is no more important job in any society than raising children, and there is no more important influence on how children develop than their parents.

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BIBLOGRAPHY
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles, 25/9/11 http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parentingstyle.htm,25/9/11 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting,25/9/11 http://www.goodparenting.co.in/,27/9/11 http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/story/9.html, 27/9/11 http://www.wahm.com/articles/what-qualities-make-a-good-parent.html, 28/9/11 http://www.ventanacenter.com/articlesbackground_004.htm , 28/9/11 http://www.Google.com,24/9/11 http://www.ehow.com/info_8414614_indian-parenting-styles.html, 26/9/11

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APPENDIX

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