There was a concept in psychology and self-improvement by a person named Maslow.

It was called self-actualization and it was considered the ideal goal for every h uman being. The person who was actualized was fully functioning, mature in every way, ration al, intelligent, balanced, with no obvious hang-ups or defects. This was conside red the ultimate goal towards which we all should strive. I believed this as well, and I loved this concept. Wasnt very good at it! But lov ed it nonetheless, and I recognized its enormous appeal. Then I remembered my love of astrology and the various archetypes of each sign. And this led me even further to another theory about personalities, weaknesses a nd life in general. Each astrological sign has its own beauty. A vivid, clearly defined wonderful pe rsonality, a complete character in every way, with shadings of both good and bad (or what one could consider bad) For example, the Aries temperament is aggressive and self-centered, yet generous and warm, innocent as a child emotionally. The Taurus is stubborn and conservative, yet maternal and tremendously strong. The Gemini - sarcastic, flighty and a talker, yet intelligent, fun to be with, a nd creative. So each sign has qualities that can be beautiful, although flawed. Without these so called flaws, the beauty would not be there, in the same way. Thats when I realized the mistake of self-actualization. It is missing an essential truth about people and life. WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE SAME OR PERFECT. AND SELF ACTUALIZATION IGNORES TH IS FOR THE SAKE OF FULLY FUNCTIONING MATURITY. A fully functioning mature balanced person with no obvious defects IS AS CLOSE T O PERFECTION AS WE WILL EVER GET! This reminded me of the Stepford Wives. A little too nice, a little too calm, a little too together. This can be beautiful, but not if taken to excess, not if everyone around you tr ies to be like this or thinks it is ideal, and not if this is unnatural for you. That would be unhealthy. We all need our quirks, our flaws, even our weaknesses. The strong person needs the weak one, the emotional person needs the cool calm one, and vice versa. Ther e is nothing wrong with that, unless it becomes dangerous. Some psychologists - in fact, a LOT of them - call this co-dependency. They reco mmend that we all strive to be complete by ourselves, not weak, not emotional, n ot needing anybody else to balance or fulfill us. And on the surface that sounds great, doesnt it? But in real life, it doesnt always work out so easily. Maybe it isnt supposed to. Maybe it doesnt have to work out at all.

Maybe the weak, vulnerable, emotional person was born in this world for the stro ng, protective cool person to love. Maybe they would never have been in each others lives at all if both were devoid of their flaws - which are not flaws at all, unless and only unless they affect yo ur life in a drastic negative way - or someone elses. Remember the old saying? One mans meat is another mans poison. This is true in mor e ways than one. What someone hates about you or considers wrong, someone else w ill love and live for. Just think of this - why were we made the way we are? With inherent qualities, t hat even as babies we so naturally display? Some of us sensitive, some of us che erful. And these qualities never really leave us. Surely, we can alter them some what, work with them. But for the most part, they are us. Why is this? Is this is a mistake? Or is this who we were meant to be, for some unfathomable reason that will someday become clearer? I dont believe that God sits somewhere in Heaven, watching over us, watching us s truggle with our bad tempers or our weaknesses, or our sexual problems, and that He lets us struggle without helping us or answering our prayers for change. This would be a really messed-up, sadistic God! So then why do we struggle? Why do we pray and pray and fight against our demons a nd some of us never really get anywhere? Because we are weak? Because we havent prayed enough? I think thats a lie perpetuated by certain people. Maybe these people mean well, I like to believe they are good at heart, but I also believe they are wrong. IF GOD WANTED US TO CHANGE, AND WE PRAY AND WE TRY WITH ALL OUR HEARTS, HE WOULD CHANGE US! There are no ifs, ands or buts about it. So if we dont - what does that tell you? DONT SPEND ALL YOUR LIFE AND ENERGY FIGHTING AGAINST WHAT OR WHO YOU ARE THAT IS CONSIDERED BAD - SPEND YOUR LIFE AND ENERGY FIGHTING FOR SOMETHING GOOD. People say, Well, fight against the devil. The devil is working against you. He i s making you like that Okay. So if the devil is that strong and that hard to fight, and if God doesnt an swer your prayers for change or help, then STOP FIGHTING THE DEVIL. INSTEAD, FILL YOUR LIFE AND YOUR MIND AND YOUR HEART WITH SO MANY GOOD THINGS TH AT YOU CROWD HIM OUT! He either has to stay and like it and keep quiet or hell leave!