A BIBLICAL PORTRAIT OF MARRIAGE

Session 10

ROMANCE: Keep the Heart Fires Burning

Introduction
All too often, romance begins to vanish in the post-wedding years. It is not
usually lost suddenly, but gradually fades away over time. Learn to keep the
heart fires burning as you make the latter years even more romantic than the
first.
-What is romantic love? It is love that joins you together as husband and
wife.
-Romantic love: picnic, vacation, trip, dinner/date, sports, walking,
flowers, letters, etc.
-Are you in love with your spouse?

What are the most common lies people believe about romance?

1. I fell out of love.

-I use to but not anymore. Why?

2. I married the wrong person.

3. I’ve tried and tried. I give up.

4. I’m too old and tired.

5. Everyone knows romance always dies.

-No more flowers, letters, dates, kiss, hugs etc.

6. My spouse can’t love me the way I need to be loved.

7. It’s just not meant to be.

-I decided that my marriage to die.

For what reasons might a couple experience the loss of romantic love?
Causes of losing romantic love:

1. Refusal to forgive your spouse (Ephesians 4:32).

-Ephesians 4:32
-Closing the door to the person who caused the pain in your life.
-It starts with hurt=unforgiveness=bitterness=vengeance (Get even).
-Open the door by going to the person who hurt you and say your pain
even though they don’t accept or forgive you. This is for your own pain
and the desire to love again and restore.
-Fix it and forgive!

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 2. Refusal to be the spouse God commands you to be.
-The problem is that we do not obey the words of God for our marriage.
-The world tells us how to become a good spouse but the Bible also tells
us how to be a spouse?
-It means if you follow the ways of God, naturally, romantic love will follow.

What universal principles express the truth about romance?

1. Establish your marriage (Genesis 2:24).

-Leave home. Cut the romantic love from your parents. Your spouse will
feel a sense of competition. You have the competition with your choice.
-Cleave to your spouse.
-The most common problem in marriage is that spouse did not leave home
yet and not cleave to his/her spouse.
-Leave and cleave must be obeyed.

2. Assume your role (Genesis 2:18; Ephesians 5:23).

-Leadership is for the man
-Submission/helper is for the woman.
-Reversal of roles creates conflict.
-The man becomes insecure if he is not given the leadership and his heart
is affected/romantic love is threatened.
-God’s desire is for you to have a romantic love.

3. Fulfill your responsibilities (Colossians 3:18-19).

-Wife needs the loved of her husband.
-Husband needs the respect and honor of his wife.
-How do you know if your husband is loved? When he is respected and
honored and when you submit with joy.

4. Render sexual affection (1 Corinthians 7:2-5).

-Give it, pay pack by romantic love=touch, kiss, look, hug, will lead to sex.
-Romantic love is sexual.
-Who dries up immediately on this area? Not the woman but the man. I
don’t know why.
-Read 1 Corinthians 7:2-4
-What’s the need of a woman? Touch, affection, look
-What’s the need of a man? Sex

5. Become incredibly lovable (1 Peter 3:3-4, 7).

-Make yourself irresistibly lovable to your mate.
-What makes a woman attractive to a man? Read 1 Peter 3:3-4.
-“Quiet spirit” refers to character. Feminine is not appearance but
character.
-What makes a man attractive to a woman? Read 1 Peter 3:7.

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 -Masculinity is not courage or boldness, not body built but
understanding and honoring.

6. Love in three dimensions.

(1) Physical-one flesh
(2) Emotional or intellectual-Being one with the person.
(3) Spiritual/eternal-Knowing God and loving God. It is passionately
knowing that He loves you. God wants to be one with you.
-Worship, prayer etc.
-John 3:16

7. Repent and do the first works (Revelations 2:4-5).

-What happens in marriage when you don’t remember romance anymore?
I means if you don’t feel romance is present in marriage.
-Answer: God’s love in Revelations 2:4-5.
(1) First love (excitement)
(2) Remember when you fell in love. Go back.
(3) Repent-change of mind, stop.
(4) Do the first works.

Conclusion
-Regardless of your situation in your marriage, God wants to bless it with
His romantic love.
-Hear and obey God
-Love again by putting the fire within you.