SUPER COOL ENGLISH

GRAMMER…WORTH
LEARNING.VERY ELEMENTARY
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/print/index.html#pwrg
Logical Vocabulary
Vocabulary

Proposition
T or F in an argument, but not alone. Can be a premise or conclusion. Is not equal to a
sentence.
Premise
Proposition used as evidence in an argument.
Conclusion
Proposition used as a thesis in an argument.
Argument
A group of propositions of which one is claimed to follow from the others.
Induction
A process through which the premises provide some basis for the conclusion.
Deduction
A process through which the premises provide conclusive proof for the conclusion.

Argument Indicators: Premise Indicators: Conclusion Indicators:

should since therefore

must because hence

ought for thus

necessarily as so

in as much as consequently

for the reason that it follows that

first one may infer

one may conclude

When dealing with
persuasive writing, it will be helpful for you to outline the argument by premises and conclusions. By
looking at the structure of the argument, it is easy to spot logical error.
Example 1

"Universities are full of knowledge. The freshmen bring a little in, and the seniors take none away,
and knowledge accumulates."

--Harvard President A. L. Lowell

Premise 1 Freshmen bring a little (knowledge) in

Premise 2 Seniors take none away
Premise 3 Knowledge accumulates
Conclusion Universities are full of knowledge

Example 2

(Here, the conclusion of one argument is used as a premise in another. This is very common.)

"Even though there may be a deceiver of some sort, very powerful and very tricky, who bends all his
efforts to keep me perpetually deceived, there can be no slightest doubt that I exist, since he deceives
me; and let him deceive me as much as he will, he can never make me be nothing as long as I think I
am something. Thus, after having thought well on this matter, and after examining all things with
care, I must finally conclude and maintain that this proposition: I am, I exist, is necessarily true every
time that I pronounce it or conceive it in my mind."

-- René Descartes, Meditations

Argument 1 Premise 1: To be deceived ... I must exist

Conclusion of Argument 1 When I think that I exist I cannot be

Argument 2 Premise 1: deceived about that

Conclusion: I am, I exist, is necessarily true ... .

Reaching Logical Conclusions

This article is reprinted from pages 78-79 of Pearson-Allen: Modern Algebra, Book One. In the book
it is one of several between-chapter articles that add interest and provoke thought on subjects related
to the topics discussed in the text.

Consider the two statements:

1. Any member of a varsity squad is excused from physical education.

2. Henry is a member of the varsity football squad.

Our common sense tells us that if we accept these two statement as true, then we must accept the
following third statement as true:

3. Henry is excused from physical education.

We say that the third statement follows logically from the other two.

In drawing logical conclusions it does not matter whether the statements we accept as true are
reasonable or sensible. This is because we depend entirely upon the form of the statements and not
upon what we are talking about. Thus, if we accept the following statements as true:

1. All whales are mammals;

2. All mammals are warm-blooded animals;

3. All warm-blooded animals are subject to colds;

then we must conclude that

4. All whales are subject to colds.

Do you see that statements 1, 2, and 3 are arranged in logical order ?

In the diagram at the right the set of whales is represented by W, the set of
mammals by M, the set of warm-blooded animals by B, the set of animals
subject to colds by C, and the set of all animals by A. The diagram shows that
W is a subset of M as required by statement 1, that M is a subset of B as
required by statement 2, and that B is a subset of C as required by statement 3.
The only conclusion that uses all of our given statements is that W is a subset
of C, as asserted by statement 4.

Had our third statement been "no warm-blooded animals are subject to colds," our
diagram would have been the one shown at the right and our conclusion would have
been "no whales are subject to colds."

If you have read Alice's Adventures in Wonderland or Through the Looking-Glass, you know that
author Lewis Carroll delights in giving sets of nonsense statements which lead to logical
conclusions. One such set is the following:

Babies are illogical;

Nobody is despised who can manage a crocodile;

Illogical persons are despised.

When these statements are arranged in logical order we have:

1. Babies are illogical;

2. Illogical persons are despised;
3. Nobody is despised who can manage a crocodile.

From these we can draw the logical conclusion:

4. Babies cannot manage crocodiles.

Fallacies

A fallacy is an error of reasoning. It can be used against you in an argument, but if you are familiar
with them, you will be able to refute the fallacious argument. Likewise, if you are clever, you can
use them to convince others.

Fallacies fall into two major categories:

Fallacies of Relevance

Fallacies of relevance occur when the premises of an argument are irrelevant to the
conclusion.

Fallacies of Ambiguity

Fallacies of ambiguity occur when ambiguous, changeable wording in the

propositions can lead to there being more than one meaning in an argument.

Here are examples of each of the major fallacies. Reflect upon them and write in a definition that
makes sense to you.

Fallacies of Relevance

1. Argumentum ad Bacculum (appeal to force)

"Pay back the loan and 10 % daily interest by Thursday, or be sure that you have you hospital
insurance paid up."

2. Argumentum ad Hominem (abusive)

"Don't believe anything John says; he's a nerd."

3. Argumentum ad Hominem (circumstantial)

"Of course he thinks fraternities are great. He's a Phi Delta."

4. Argumentum ad Ignorantiam (argument from ignorance)

There is no proof that witches exist; therefore, they do not.

5. Argumentum ad Misericordiam (appeal to pity)

"Your honor, how can the prosecution dare try to send this poor, defenseless child to jail for the
murder of his father and mother. Have a heart; the boy is now an orphan."

6. Argumentum ad Populum

"Don't be left out! Buy your Chevette today!"

7. Argumentum ad Vericundiam (appeal to authority)

Joe Namath selling pantyhose; Joe DiMaggio selling Mr. Coffee.

8. Accident

"What you bought yesterday, you eat today; you bought raw meat yesterday; therefore, you eat raw
meat today."

9. Converse Accident (hasty generalization)

"That man is an alcoholic. Liquor should be banned."

10. False cause (Post hoc ergo propter hoc) (Many of our superstitions stem from use of this
fallacy.)

"A black cat crossed Joe's path yesterday, and he died last night. The black cat caused Joe's death."

11. Petitio Principii (begging the question)

"It's time to come in the house now, Billy."

"Why?"
"Because I said so!"
"Why?"
"Because it's time, and I said so."

12. Complex Question

"Have you given up cheating on exams?"

13. Ignoratio Elenchi (irrelevant conclusion)

In a law court, in attempt to prove that the accused is guilty of theft, the prosecution may argue that
theft is a horrible crime for anyone to commit.

Fallacies of Ambiguity

1. Equivocation

Some dogs have fuzzy ears. My dog has fuzzy ears. My dog is some dog!

2. Amphibole (grammatical construction)

"Woman without her man would be lost." or "Save Soap and Waste Paper."

3. Accent

"We should not speak ill of our friends."

4. Composition

"Each part of this stereo weighs under one pound. This is a very light stereo."

5. Division

"Purdue is a great engineering school. Mike went there; he must be a great engineer."

Listen to your roommate, the TV, and even your profs. You'll be amazed how many fallacies we
encounter each day.

More important, check your papers. Does your argument have premises and conclusions stated
properly? Have you been guilty of fallacious reasoning?

Improprieties

A functional impropriety is the use of a word as the wrong part of speech. The wrong meaning for a
word can also be impropriety.
Mark improprieties in the following phrases and correct them in the blanks at the right. If you find
none, write C in the blank.

Example: (occupation) hazards -- occupational

1. reforming institution policies

2. percent aging students by grades

3. dead trees as inhabitants for birds

4. an initiate story about a young girl

5. a recurrence theme in literature

6. a wood chisel

7. a wood baseball bat

8. a frivolity conversation on the weather

9. a utopia hideaway of alpine villas

10. a utilize room complete with workbench

11. the unstable chemical compounds

12. the unschooled labor force

13. the vandals who rapined Rome

14. an erupting volcano crevassing the hills

15. criticism writing which is often abstract

16. abstracted beyond understanding

17. classified as an absorbent

18. a handwriting letter

19. banjoed their way to the top ten

20. a meander stream

21. hoboing across the country

22. holidayed the time away

23. the redirective coming from the officer

24. grain-fed slaughter cattle

25. ivy tendoned to the walls

Coherence
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When sentences, ideas, and details fit together clearly, readers can follow along easily, and the
writing is coherent. The ideas tie together smoothly and clearly. To establish the links that readers
need, you can use the methods listed here.

Repetition of a Key Term or Phrase

This helps to focus your ideas and to keep your reader on track.

Example: The problem with contemporary art is that it is not easily understood by most people.
Contemporary art is deliberately abstract, and that means it leaves the viewer wondering what she is
looking at.

Synonyms

Synonyms are words that have essentially the same meaning, and they provide some variety in your
word choices, helping the reader to stay focused on the idea being discussed.

Example: Myths narrate sacred histories and explain sacred origins. These traditional narratives are,
in short, a set of beliefs that are a very real force in the lives of the people who tell them.

Pronouns

This, that, these, those, he, she, it, they, and we are useful pronouns for referring back to something
previously mentioned. Be sure, however, that what you are referring to is clear.

Example: When scientific experiments do not work out as expected, they are often considered failures
 until some other scientist tries them again. Those that work out better the second time around are the
ones that promise the most rewards.

Transitional Words

There are many words in English that cue our readers to relationships between sentences, joining
sentences together. See the handout on Transitional Devices (Connecting Words) at
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/general/gl_transition.html. There you'll find lists of words
such as however, therefore, in addition, also, but, moreover, etc.

Example: I like autumn, and yet autumn is a sad time of the year, too.
The leaves turn bright shades of red and the weather is mild, but I can't
help thinking ahead to the winter and the ice storms that will surely blow
through here. In addition, that will be the season of chapped faces, too
many layers of clothes to put on, and days when I'll have to shovel heaps
of snow from my car's windshield.

Sentence Patterns

Sometimes, repeated or parallel sentence patterns can help the reader follow along and keep ideas
tied together.

Example: (from a speech by President John F. Kennedy) And so, my

fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you--ask what
you can do for your country.

Transitional Devices (Connecting Words)

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Transitional devices are like bridges between parts of your paper. They are cues that help the reader
to interpret ideas in the way that you, as a writer, want them to understand. Transitional devices help
you carry over a thought from one sentence to another, from one idea to another, or from one
paragraph to another with words or phrases. And finally, transitional devices link your sentences and
paragraphs together smoothly so that there are no abrupt jumps or breaks between ideas.

There are several types of transitional devices, and each category leads your reader to make certain
connections or assumptions about the areas you are connecting. Some lead your reader forward and
imply the "building" of an idea or thought, while others make your reader compare ideas or draw
conclusions from the preceding thoughts.

Here is a list of some common transitional devices that can be used to cue your reader in a given
way.
To Add:

and, again, and then, besides, equally important, finally, further, furthermore, nor, too, next, lastly,
what's more, moreover, in addition, first (second, etc.),

To Compare:

whereas, but, yet, on the other hand, however, nevertheless, on the other hand, on the contrary, by
comparison, where, compared to, up against, balanced against, vis a vis, but, although, conversely,
meanwhile, after all, in contrast, although this may be true

To Prove:

because, for, since, for the same reason, obviously, evidently, furthermore, moreover, besides,
indeed, in fact, in addition, in any case, that is

To Show Exception:

yet, still, however, nevertheless, in spite of, despite, of course, once in a while, sometimes

To Show Time:

immediately, thereafter, soon, after a few hours, finally, then, later, previously, formerly, first
(second, etc.), next, and then

To Repeat:

in brief, as I have said, as I have noted, as has been noted,

To Emphasize:

definitely, extremely, obviously, in fact, indeed, in any case, absolutely, positively, naturally,
surprisingly, always, forever, perennially, eternally, never, emphatically, unquestionably, without a
doubt, certainly, undeniably, without reservation

To Show Sequence:

first, second, third, and so forth. A, B, C, and so forth. next, then, following this, at this time, now, at
this point, after, afterward, subsequently, finally, consequently, previously, before this,
simultaneously, concurrently, thus, therefore, hence, next, and then, soon

To Give an Example:

for example, for instance, in this case, in another case, on this occasion, in this situation, take the
case of, to demonstrate, to illustrate, as an illustration, to illustrate

To Summarize or Conclude:

in brief, on the whole, summing up, to conclude, in conclusion, as I have shown, as I have said,
hence, therefore, accordingly, thus, as a result, consequently, on the whole,

For information about using many of these words and phrases, see the Purdue OWL handout
Sentence Variety

Conciseness: Methods of Eliminating Wordiness

Brought to you by the Purdue University Online Writing Lab at http://owl.english.purdue.edu

For practice editing sentences to make them more concise, see our exercises on this topic at
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/general/gl_conciseEX1.html

1. Eliminate unnecessary determiners and modifiers

Writers sometimes clog up their prose with one or more extra words or phrases that seem to
determine narrowly or to modify the meaning of a noun but don't actually add to the meaning of the
sentence. Although such words and phrases can be meaningful in the appropriate context, they are
often used as "filler" and can easily be eliminated.

Wordy

Any particular type of dessert is fine with me.

Balancing the budget by Friday is an impossibility without some kind of extra help.

More Concise

Any dessert is fine with me.

Balancing the budget by Friday is impossible without extra help.

Here's a list of some words and phrases that can often be pruned away to make sentences clearer:
 kind of really definitely
sort of basically actually
type of for all intents and purposes generally
specific particular individual

Wordy

For all intents and purposes, American industrial productivity generally depends on
certain factors that are really more psychological in kind than of any given
technological aspect.

More Concise

American industrial productivity depends more on psychological than on

technological factors.

2. Change phrases into single words

Using phrases to convey meaning that could be presented in a single word contributes to wordiness.
Convert phrases into single words when possible.

Wordy

The employee with ambition...

The department showing the best performance...

Jeff Converse, our chief of consulting, suggested at our last board meeting the
installation of microfilm equipment in the department of data processing.

As you carefully read what you have written to improve your wording and catch
small errors of spelling, punctuation, and so on, the thing to do before you do
anything else is to try to see where a series of words expressing action could replace
the ideas found in nouns rather than verbs.

More Concise

The ambitious employee...

The best-performing department...

At our last board meeting, Chief Consultant Jeff Converse suggested that we install
 microfilm equipment in the data processing department.

As you edit, first find nominalizations that you can replace with verb phrases.

3. Change unnecessary that, who, and which clauses into phrases

Using a clause to convey meaning that could be presented in a phrase or even a word contributes to
wordiness. Convert modifying clauses into phrases or single words when possible.

Wordy

The report, which was released recently...

All applicants who are interested in the job must...

The system that is most efficient and accurate...

More Concise

The recently released report...

All job applicants must...

The most efficient and accurate system...

4. Avoid overusing expletives at the beginning of sentences

Expletives are phrases of the form it + be-verb or there + be-verb. Such expressions can be
rhetorically effective for emphasis in some situations, but overuse or unnecessary use of expletive
constructions creates wordy prose. Take the following example: "It is imperative that we find a
solution." The same meaning could be expressed with this more succinct wording: "We must find a
solution." But using the expletive construction allows the writer to emphasize the urgency of the
situation by placing the word imperative near the beginning of the sentence, so the version with the
expletive may be preferable. Still, you should generally avoid excessive or unnecessary use of
expletives. The most common kind of unnecessary expletive construction involves an expletive
followed by a noun and a relative clause beginning with that, which, or who. In most cases, you can
create a more concise sentence by eliminating the expletive opening, making the noun the subject of
the sentence, and eliminating the relative pronoun.

Wordy
 It is the governor who signs or vetoes bills.

There are four rules that should be observed: ...

There was a big explosion, which shook the windows, and people ran into the street.

More Concise

The governor signs or vetoes bills.

Four rules should be observed:...

A big explosion shook the windows, and people ran into the street.

5. Use active rather than passive verbs

See our document on active and passive voice for a more thorough explanation of this topic. It is
located at http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_actpass.html

Wordy

An account was opened by Mrs. Simms.

Your figures were checked by the research department.

More Concise

Mrs. Simms opened an account.

The research department checked your figures.

6. Avoid overusing noun forms of verbs

Use verbs when possible rather than noun forms known as nominalizations. Sentences with many
nominalizations usually have forms of be as the main verbs. Using the action verbs disguised in
nominalizations as the main verbs--instead of forms of be--can help to create engaging rather than
dull prose.

Wordy
 The function of this department is the collection of accounts.

The current focus of the medical profession is disease prevention.

More Concise

This department collects accounts.

The medical profession currently focuses on disease prevention.

7. Reword unnecessary infinitive phrases

Some infinitive phrases can be converted into finite verbs or brief noun phrases. Making such
changes also often results in the replacement of a be-verb with an action verb.

Wordy

The duty of a clerk is to check all incoming mail and to record it.

A shortage of tellers at our branch office on Friday and Saturday during rush hours
has caused customers to become dissatisfied with service.

More Concise

A clerk checks and records all incoming mail.

A teller shortage at our branch office on Friday and Saturday during rush hours has
caused customer dissatisfaction.

8. Replace circumlocutions with direct expressions

Circumlocutions are commonly used roundabout expressions that take several words to say what
could be said more succinctly. We often overlook them because many such expressions are habitual
figures of speech. In writing, though, they should be avoided since they add extra words without
extra meaning. Of course, occasionally you may for rhetorical effect decide to use, say, an expletive
construction instead of a more succinct expression. These guidelines should be taken as general
recommendations, not absolute rules.

Wordy
 At this/that point in time...

In accordance with your request...

More Concise

Now/then...

As you requested...

Here are some other common circumlocutions that can be compressed into just one word:
 the reason for
for the reason that
owing/due to the fact that
in light of the fact that =because, since, why
considering the fact that
on the grounds that
this is why

on the occasion of
=when
in a situation in which
under circumstances in which

as regards
in reference to
=about
with regard to
concerning the matter of
where ________ is concerned

it is crucial that
it is necessary that
there is a need/necessity for
=must, should
it is important that
cannot be avoided

is able to
has the opportunity to
has the capacity for
=can
has the ability to

it is possible that
there is a chance that
=may, might, could
it could happen that
the possibility exists for
Wordy

It is possible that nothing will come of these preparations.

She has the ability to influence the outcome.

It is necessary that we take a stand on this pressing issue.

 More Concise

Nothing may come of these preparations.

She can influence the outcome

We must take a stand on this pressing issue.

9. Omit words that explain the obvious or provide excessive detail

Be sure always to consider your readers as you draft and revise your writing. If you find passages
that explain or describe in detail what would already be obvious to readers, delete or reword them.

Wordy

I received your inquiry yesterday. Yes, we do have...

It goes without saying that we are acquainted with your policy on filing tax returns,
and we have every intention of complying with the regulations that you have
mentioned.

Imagine a mental picture of someone engaged in the intellectual activity of trying to

learn what the rules are for how to play the game of chess.

Baseball, one of our oldest and most popular outdoor summer sports in terms of total
attendance at ball parks and viewing on television, has the kind of rhythm of play on
the field that alternates between times when players passively wait with no action
taking place between the pitches to the batter and then times when they explode into
action as the batter hits a pitched ball to one of the players and the player fields it.

More Concise

Yes, we do have...

We intend to comply with the tax-return regulations that you have mentioned.

Imagine someone trying to learn the rules of chess.

Baseball has a rhythm that alternates between waiting and explosive action.
10. Omit repetitive wording

Watch for phrases or longer passages in your writing in which you repeat words with similar
meanings. Below are some general examples of unnecessary repetition contrasted with more concise
versions, followed by lists and examples of specific redundant word pairs and categories.

Wordy

I would appreciate it if you would bring to the attention of your drafting officers the
administrator's dislike of long sentences and paragraphs in messages to the field and
in other items drafted for her signature or approval, as well as in all correspondence,
reports, and studies. Please encourage your section to keep their sentences short.

The supply manager considered the correcting typewriter an unneeded luxury.

Our branch office currently employs five tellers. These tellers do an excellent job
Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with the rush on Friday and Saturday.

More Concise

Please encourage your drafting officers to keep sentences and paragraphs in letters,
reports, and studies short. Dr. Lomas, the administrator, has mentioned that reports
and memos drafted for her approval recently have been wordy and thus time-
consuming.

The supply manager considered the correcting typewriter a luxury.

Our branch office currently employs five tellers, who do an excellent job Monday
through Thursday but cannot keep up with Friday and Saturday rush periods.

Redundant Pairs

Many pairs of words imply each other. Finish implies complete, so the phrase
completely finish is redundant in most cases. So are many other pairs of words:

past memories terrible tragedy

various differences end result
each individual final outcome
basic fundamentals free gift
true facts past history
important essentials unexpected surprise
future plans sudden crisis
A related expression that's not redundant as much as it is illogical is very unique.
Since unique means "one of a kind," adding modifiers of degree such as very, so,
especially, somewhat, extremely, and so on is illogical. One-of-a-kind-ness has no
gradations; something is either unique or it is not.

Wordy

Before the travel agent was completely able to finish explaining the various
differences among all of the many very unique vacation packages his travel agency
was offering, the customer changed her future plans.

More Concise

Before the travel agent finished explaining the differences among the unique vacation
packages his travel agency was offering, the customer changed her plans.

Redundant Categories

Specific words imply their general categories, so we usually don't have to state both.
We know that a period is a segment of time, that pink is a color, that shiny is an
appearance. In each of the following phrases, the general category term can be
dropped, leaving just the specific descriptive word:

large in size of cheap quality

often times honest in character
of a bright color of an uncertain condition
heavy in weight in a confused state
period in time unusual in nature
round in shape extreme in degree
at an early time of a strange type
economics field

Wordy

During that time period, many car buyers preferred cars that were pink in color and
shiny in appearance.

The microscope revealed a group of organisms that were round in shape and peculiar
in nature.

More Concise

During that period, many car buyers preferred pink, shiny cars.

The microscope revealed a group of peculiar, round organisms.

Non-Sexist Language
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The National Council of Teachers of English (NCTE) suggests the following guidelines:

Generic Use

Although MAN in its original sense carried the dual meaning of adult human and adult male, its
meaning has come to be so closely identified with adult male that the generic use of MAN and other
words with masculine markers should be avoided.

Examples Alternatives
mankind humanity, people, human beings
man's achievements human achievements
man-made synthetic, manufactured, machine-made
the common man the average person, ordinary people
man the stockroom staff the stockroom
nine man-hours nine staff-hours

Occupations

Avoid the use of MAN in occupational terms when persons holding the job could be either male or
female.

Examples Alternatives
chairman coordinator (of a committee or department), moderator
(of a
meeting), presiding officer, head, chair
businessman business executive
fireman firefighter
mailman mail carrier
steward and stewardess flight attendant
policeman and policewoman police officer
congressman congressional representative

Pronouns

Because English has no generic singular--or common-sex--pronoun, we have used HE, HIS, and
HIM in such expressions as "the student needs HIS pencil." When we constantly personify "the
judge," "the critic," "the executive," "the author," and so forth, as male by using the pronoun HE, we
are subtly conditioning ourselves against the idea of a female judge, critic, executive, or author.
There are several alternative approaches for ending the exclusion of women that results from the
pervasive use of masculine pronouns.

a. Recast into the plural.

Example Alternative
Give each student his paper as soon as he Give students their papers as soon as they are
is finished. finished.

b. Reword to eliminate gender problems.

Example Alternative
The average student is worried about his
The average student is worried about grades.
grade.

c. Replace the masculine pronoun with ONE, YOU, or (sparingly) HE OR SHE, as

appropriate.

Example Alternative
If the student was satisfied with his
A student who was satisfied with her or his
performance on the pretest, he took the
performance on the pretest took the post-test.
post-test.

d. Alternate male and female examples and expressions. (Be careful not to confuse the reader.)

Example Alternative
Let each student participate. Has he had a Let each student participate. Has she had a chance
chance to talk? Could he feel left out? to talk? Could he feel left out?

Indefinite Pronouns

Using the masculine pronouns to refer to an indefinite pronoun (everybody, everyone, anybody,
anyone) also has the effect of excluding women. In all but strictly formal uses, plural pronouns have
become acceptable substitutes for the masculine singular.

Example Alternative
Anyone who wants to go to the game Anyone who wants to go to the game should bring
should bring his money tomorrow. their money tomorrow.

Strategies for Improving Sentence Clarity

Brought to you by the Purdue University Online Writing Lab at http://owl.english.purdue.edu

Go from old to new information

Introduce your readers to the "big picture" first by giving them information they already know. Then
they can link what's familiar to the new information you give them. As that new information
becomes familiar, it too becomes old information that can link to newer information.

The following example sentence is clear and understandable because it uses old information to lead
to new information:

Every semester after final exams are over, I'm faced with the problem of what to
do with books of lecture notes (new information). They (old) might be useful
some day, but they just keep piling up on my bookcase (new). Someday, it (old)
will collapse under the weight of information I might never need.

Here is a sentence that is not as clear. It moves from new information to old information:

Lately, most movies I've seen have been merely second-rate entertainment, but
occasionally there are some with worthwhile themes. The rapid disappearance of
the Indian culture (new) is the topic of a recent movie (old) I saw.

Did you find the second sentence hard to read or understand? If so, it could be because the old
information comes late in the sentence after the new information. A clearer version that moves from
old information to new information might look like this:

Lately, most movies I've seen have been merely second-rate entertainment, but
occasionally there are some with worthwhile themes. One recent movie (old) I saw
was about the rapid disappearance of the Indian culture. (new)

Be careful about placement of subordinate clauses

Avoid interrupting the main clause with a subordinate clause if the interruption will cause confusion:

• clear (subordinate clause at the end):

Industrial spying is increasing rapidly because of the growing use of computers to store and
process corporate information.

• clear (subordinate clause at the beginning):

Because of the growing use of computers to store and process corporate information,
industrial spying is increasing rapidly.

• not as clear (subordinate clause embedded in the middle):

Industrial spying,because of the growing use of computers to store and process corporate
information, is increasing rapidly.
Use active voice

Sentences in active voice are usually easier to understand than those in passive voice because active-
voice constructions indicate clearly the performer of the action expressed in the verb. In addition,
changing from passive voice to active often results in a more concise sentence. So use active voice
unless you have good reason to use the passive. For example, the passive is useful when you don't
want to call attention to the doer; when the doer is obvious, unimportant, or unknown; or when
passive voice is the conventional style among your readers.

For more on this topic, consult our handout on active and passive voice at
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_actpass.html.

• clear (active):

The committee decided to postpone the vote.

• not as clear (passive):

A decision was reached to postpone the vote.

Use parallel constructions

When you have a series of words, phrases, or clauses, put them in parallel form (similar grammatical
construction) so that the reader can identify the linking relationship more easily and clearly.

• clear (parallel):

In Florida, where the threat of hurricanes is an annual event, we learned that it is important
(1) to become aware of the warning signs, (2) to know what precautions to take, and (3) to
decide when to seek shelter.

• not as clear (not parallel):

In Florida, where the threat of hurricanes is an annual event, we learned that it is important
(1) to become aware of the warning signs. (2) There are precautions to take, and (3) deciding
when to take shelter is important.

In the second sentence, notice how the string of "things to be aware of in Florida" does not create a
parallel structure. Also, notice how much more difficult it is for a reader to follow the meaning of the
second sentence compared to the first one.

Avoid noun strings

Try not to string nouns together one after the other because a series of nouns is difficult to
understand. One way to revise a string of nouns is to change one noun to a verb.

• unclear (string of nouns):

This report explains our investment growth stimulation projects.

• clearer:

This report explains our projects to stimulate growth in investments.

Avoid overusing noun forms of verbs

Use verbs when possible rather than noun forms known as "nominalizations."

• unclear (use of nominalization):

The implementation of the plan was successful.

• clearer:

The plan was implemented successfully.

We implemented the plan successfully.

Avoid multiple negatives

Use affirmative forms rather than several negatives because multiple negatives are difficult to
understand.

• unclear (multiple negatives, passive):

Less attention is paid to commercials that lack human interest stories than to other kinds of
commercials.

• clearer:

People pay more attention to commercials with human interest stories than to other kinds of
commercials.

Choose action verbs over forms of be

When possible, avoid using forms of be as the main verbs in your sentences and clauses. This
problem tends to accompany nominalization (see above). Instead of using a be verb, focus on the
actions you wish to express, and choose the appropriate verbs. In the following example, two ideas
are expressed: 1) that there is a difference between television and newspaper news reporting, and 2)
the nature of that difference. The revised version expresses these two main ideas in the two main
verbs.

• Unclear (overuse of be verbs):

One difference between television news reporting and the coverage provided by newspapers
is the time factor between the actual happening of an event and the time it takes to be
reported. The problem is that instantaneous coverage is physically impossible for
newspapers.

• Clearer:

Television news reporting differs from that of newspapers in that television, unlike
newspapers, can provide instantaneous coverage of events as they happen.

Avoid unclear pronoun references

Be sure that the pronouns you use refer clearly to a noun in the current or previous sentence. If the
pronoun refers to a noun that has been implied but not stated, you can clarify the reference by
explicitly using that noun.

• Unclear (unclear pronoun reference):

With the spread of globalized capitalism, American universities increasingly follow a

corporate fiscal model, tightening budgets and hiring temporary contract employees as
teachers. This has prompted faculty and adjunct instructors at many schools to join unions as
a way of protecting job security and benefits.

• Clearer:

With the spread of globalized capitalism, American universities increasingly follow a

corporate fiscal model, tightening budgets and hiring temporary contract employees as
teachers. This trend has prompted faculty and adjunct instructors at many schools to join
unions as a way of protecting job security and benefits.

• Unclear (unclear pronoun reference):

Larissa worked in a national forest last summer, which may be her career choice.

• Clearer:

Larissa worked in a national forest last summer; forest management may be her career
choice.
Larissa worked in a national forest last summer, and she may choose a forest management
career.
Using Metaphors in Creative Writing

What is a metaphor?

The term metaphor meant in Greek "carry something across" or "transfer," which suggests many
of the more elaborate definitions below:

• a comparison between two things, based on resemblance or most dictionaries

similarity, without using "like" or "as" and textbooks
• the act of giving a thing a name that belongs to something else Aristotle
• the transferring of things and words from their proper Diomedes
signification to an improper similitude for the sake of beauty,
necessity, polish, or emphasis

• a device for seeing something in terms of something else Kenneth Burke

• understanding and experiencing one thing in terms of another John Searle
• a simile contracted to its smallest dimensions Joseph Priestly

Related terms

extended or telescoping metaphor: A The teacher descended upon the exams, sank his
sustained metaphor. talons into their pages, ripped the answers to
shreds, and then, perching in his chair, began to
digest.

implied metaphor: A less direct John swelled and ruffled his plumage (versus John
metaphor. was a peacock)

mixed metaphor: The awkward, often The movie struck a spark that massaged the
silly use of more than one metaphor at audience's conscience.
a time. To be avoided!

dead metaphor: A commonly used tying up loose ends, a submarine sandwich, a

metaphor that has become over time branch of government, and most clichés
part of ordinary language.