living, not existing!

what irks me most while revelling through this rugged terrain of thoughts is the
incomprehensible complexities that rules our life.

i remember vividly those early days
living for the joy of it. there was
of the true essence of life, except
against the injustice of elders and
misunderstood child.
of adolescence when life was just a matter of
not a shadow of disillusionment nor a glimpse
for those momentary lapse of infantile grudges
a small amount of rebellious bickering of the

gone are the days of juvenile abandonment, the indefatigable spirit of hopes and
optimism that assails the figment of youth that one passes through the process of
growing up. reality has a different story to tell this shattered heart which has
matured, disappointing though and much maligned by everything around my universe.

who would have thought that such breathless anticipation of growing up is anything
but euphoric. the burden of responsibilities and lost dreams seem to me the end of
the road. the world as i see has winded my sail and brought me to my knees like a
wounded soldier.

to disguise my misfortunes under the garb of reckless conduct will undoubtedly

make me an abominable person in the eyes of society, family and myself.
sensibilities apart, i know that there is a strong tendency to adopt a foreboding
attitude of escapism when one is confronted by multifarious problems of life. yet,
living entails not just the act of existence but relishing its varied moods and
colours too. therefore, a need exist to contemplate and keep oneself busy in a
positive perspective.

growth in the sense of mind and body is necessary without surrendering to the ugly
face of misfortune. in order to carve out a niche for ourselves and earn the
respect of those who matters, all ill feelings must take a backseat.

a responsible attitude for ourselves and towards others, a generous mind of

sharing and co-existence might be the key to everything that we hold precious as
the true essence of life.

the significance of complexes and egos are generally accepted as the harbinger of
all that is evil in our life. the credibilty of a status-oriented society based
upon conservative ethos or ideologies is debatable when one starts analysing the
pseudo elements present in it. so, isn't it a waste of time and energy to dispute
the petty concept of external and physical orientations. one should go deeper into
the soul and come up with the knowledge of solomon like wisdom, which is
undoubtedly present in us. we are nothing, but "human beings" and to be humane is
an all pervading perfection. - yan e sa opinyon ko lang.