101 WITTY PALADIN SAYINGS 1. And now, judgement! 2. The day your sins rise against you is at hand!

3. EVERY day is judgement day! 4. (to the tune of the Ride of the Valkyrie) da d-d-daaaa Fight for justice, kill For truth, slay all evil, ta t-t-taaaa 5. Just as the cherry blossom falls upon the soil; the sword falls upon the foe. 6. Come out and fight foul spawn of the underworld. 7. I challenge you in the name of Heironeous, God of Valor! 8. Die creature of darkness! 9. I am Tristan, champion of justice! In the name of Heironeous I will right wrongs and triumph over evil; and that means you! 10. Die, head-in-the-clouds!" 11. Come eat cold steel, things of the underworld! 12. Throw down your swords and prepare to be judged! 13. Drain this, fang-boy! 14. You! Yes, you! The boney thing! Die! 15. Yo, she-bitch! (Unsheaths sword) Let's go! 16. Nighty-night, zombies! 17. Hey, ugly, green, and terminally unwashed! Come here and fight like a man! 18. SPOON! - Not in the face! Not in the face! 19. Ad majorem dei gloriam. - For the greater glory of god 20. Go bleech your roots, creep! 21. Allright boys, let's dance! 22. It's a great day to be a Paladin. 23. Come get some! 24. Punish or be punished. 25. Squeal like a pig! 26. Start prayin' boy, and you better pray real good. 27. Hey, foul villains! Knock off all that evil!! 28. The first step in making friends is *not to eat people*. 29. Evildoers! Eat my Justice! 30. Let's hang ten for Justice! 31. Avaunt foul feindish thingy!!! 32. Un-tentacle that fair ingenue! 33. Eat my shorts, dark spawn of fat women!!! 34. I`ll slay the evil fiend, and smile, because I smile a lot and I have a lot of teeth. 35. You had better watch your manners demon or I`ll give one hell of a wedgie!!!! 36. Your shoes are untied! 37. Evil doers beware! 38. I've come to demand the surrender of Hell! 39. There can't be more than 50 of them, I won't be hurt! 40. To have the courage for fighting means to have the courage for victory!" 41. Within our quest we are invincible. 42. Prepare to meet thy highest judge. 43. Thy soul be blessed and thy sins forgiven. 44. You ____ ! -infidel -heretic -mongrel -cur -cad -villain -slime

45. I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR HEART OUT WITH A SPOON!! 48. WHAT.... is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?....the capitol of Assyria? 49. Prepare to feel the Wrath of all that is good, Hell Spawn! 50. Evil always turns in on itself - Justice shall prevail! 51. For God and country! 52. All that is good and holy, aid me now as I confront this vile evil! 53. Prepare to atone for your sins! 54. Renounce your foul deeds now and I shall spare you. 55. I claim this land for all that is good, leave now and I shall not destroy you. 56. Repent now or spend your after life in eternal damnation. 57. With Justice, Heironeous judges and makes war upon the foul and unrighteous! 58. Heironeous has deemed you unworthy - I am his sword hand, prepare to meet damnation. 59. When Evil walks abroad, I must confront it. 60. May my sword do my God's will! 61. Prepare to make your maker! 62. I am prepared to meet my maker, are you? 63. With my dying breath I shall continue to remove the tarnish of your shadow from this world! 64. Summon your faith! It shall make us strong in the face of this obscene evil! 65. The courage of one can change the destiny of many. 66. Prepare to feel the iron gauntlet of Heironeous! 67. Surrender, cowardly followers of evil! 68. I'm gonna KICK your sorry ass! 70. DOOM! 71. I am Ergol the magnificent: small in stature, large in power, narrow of purpose, and wide of vision. 72.While unsheathing sword: Let me introduce you to a friend of mine... 72. (with a look of boredom and frustration) More <enemy type>!! Gods, and I just finished cleaning up from the last bunch!!" 73. Can you, like, surrender NOW or something? 75. while charging: Yaawwnnn...mhhm...mhhm...mm. 76. DDIIIIIIEEEEEEE!! 78. Don't MAKE me come over there after you! 79. Surrender now or face me!..no, no... Give up now and I mean it!...no....You still have a chance to surr...oh, never mind. (finishes his speech and attacks) 80. (If fighting some beautiful enemy) Back foul temptress! Even though thine image dost set my loins afire, I shall not be deterred from my task! 81. while attacking: "EWWWW, that's GOTTA hurt!" 82. So, come here often?" 83. OH YEAH, want some more, do ya'. Come and get it, and get it.YEAH! Hey, I got some for you too! Here ya' go. Feels good, don't it!?! 84. Tis merely a flesh wound. 85. I see that your schwartz is as BIG as mine! Now, let's see how well you handle it! 86. Fight, fight, fight. That's all I do around here. Day-in, day-out. 87. Bash this, slice that, castrate whatever. How come I don't get to do any of the fun stuff?" 88. after battle: "That's it?"

89. Has anyone seen my sword?(amidst piles of bodies) 90. Whoa, lookit the gash on that one! 91. Well, I don't know about ya'all, but I could use a drink. 92. If you kill me, I will only become more powerful! 93. I am not a coward, but it is not fitting for me to get my suit of armor dirty, I gotta be an example to the kids! 95. After defeating but not dispatching..."Remember, no matter where you go, or how powerful you become, there will always be someone out there mightier than you. And that someone is me." 96. Let me convince you of the error of your ways. 97. Tell me if this hurts. 98. This is your ticket to the afterlife. 99. (talking to sword) "Here's the goblin I promised you. 100. It wouldn't be proper for me to put this back without killing SOMETHING! 101. Try not to bleed all over my boots. 102. You demons are all alike...blah, blah, blah." 103. Why am I not worried? 104. To the undead..."You won't be so lucky this time." 105. Save your diseases for the less righteous." 106. Looks like you've lost a few fights in your day." 107. God befriend us, as our cause is just!" 108. Doomsday is near; die all, die merrily" 109. Say thy prayers, and farewell. 110. ...and I will strike down upon thee with great vengence and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the lord when I lay my vengeance upon you! 111. Holy Avenger Batman! 112. (after a brawl to opponent) Here are your teeth... 113. Ahhh c'mon its not so bad... Its just the Abyss 114. Two Orcs against one wounded Paladin? That doesnt seem fair... Would it help if I closed my eyes? 115. (to a demon) You are one ugly motherfucker.