Matrimonials: A Variation of Arranged Marriages Author(s): Rajagopal Ryali Reviewed work(s): Source: International Journal of Hindu Studies, Vol.

2, No. 1 (Apr., 1998), pp. 107-115 Published by: Springer Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/20106539 . Accessed: 02/11/2011 00:13
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Matrimoni?is:

A variation of arranged marriages

Rajagopal

Ryali

In a world willing

attempt be a case tisements'

that is constantly embracing change, with individuals sometimes less to abandon tradition altogether, there is room for compromise?an to make best of both worlds. Spouse selection, interestingly, appears to

in point. The topic of this research report is 'matrimonial adver that are seeking responses from individuals with the prospect of constitute a gaining partners for married life. To this extent, these matrimoni?is on the theme of arranged marriages. Serena Nanda's statement that 'in variation
India all marriages are arranged' is, perhaps, an exaggeration. However, Nanda's

'even among the educated middle classes inmodern, urban India, is as much a concern of the family as it is of the individuals' (1992: marriage 34), is very much a fact of life?substantiated published by the matrimoni?is both in India and the United States. observation, published in the United States a decade ago and analyzed by view of the socio Rajagopal Ryali (1989) not only conveyed a microcosmic cultural world in which these immigrants lived and flourished but also indicated changes which these individuals have experienced. This same pattern applies to The matrimoni?is in India, and in India, of course, matrimoni?is were an inno vation to begin with. Newspapers in particular seem to have gained recognition as a medium for contacting large numbers of potential respondents. At the same those who advertise time, there has been a decline in reliance on personal knowledge of likely mates If information and a lessening of direct contact with prospective candidates. about a large number of persons is available, as can be gleaned through the print the probability for acquiring the most suitable partner is theoretically medium, enhanced. Matrimoni?is, therefore, are apparently here to stay. As one person 'It started from recently stated after ten years of a successful arranged marriage, so you don't have any disappointment. don't have any expectations zero...you You presumed can only go up, not down' (Nomani 1988:19). An arranged marriage to have an implied social sanction. Internationaljournal ? of Hindu Studies 2, 1 (April 1998): 107-15 1998 by theWorld Heritage Press Inc. is

108 / RajagopalRyali
The growing use of newspapers in the placement of matrimoni?is may be in part, to demographic India has The population in considerations. traced, increased rapidly, just as the size of immigrants from India to North America. Most immigrants in the United reflective patterns of behavior States of and those in India continue the culture in which to rely on are socialized. they 'matchmakers,' both in

critical is the lack of a sufficient number of Essentially India and particularly the United States to meet the growing demand. Under these conditions, the next best alternative in consummating an arranged marriage would be to resort to other substitutes, and surrogate including newspapers marriage

brokers. The increased number of matrimoni?is appearing in news in India and in the United States provides support for this trend. papers There has been an obvious change in India, in terms of placing more emphasis on individual values as opposed to group values, due to industrialization and urbanization. the matrimoni?is reflect a persistent reliance on family However, (that is, group) values. A clear majority of the advertisements (over 75 percent) are published by a relative or a friend rather than the candidate herself or family In the major cities in India, there are institutional matchmakers sought individuals who are bent on making personal choices instead of author understands development?an that such imitation of

himself.

out by a few

seeking help through a relative or friend. The commercial approaches are a rarity but a modern theWest. A decade sample members issued of

and analyzed a randomly selected ago, Ryali (1989) collected 'matrimoni?is' that appeared in 1985 and that were published by of the Asian Indian ethnic community living in the United States. York were part of the classified City, India abroad. columns The of a weekly study revealed newspaper

These matrimoni?is from New

interesting preferences expressed by individuals with respect to social and personal charac teristics. In 1985 Ryali also collected an equal number of randomly selected matrimonial advertisements in Chennai (Madras), India, through a published newspaper, the Hindu. However, selection was limited to daily English-language the columns of the Sunday paper only. The Chennai sample revealed a number of surprising and contrasting preferences relative to social and personal charac teristics, of which the major findings are summarized below. A random sample of 1,000 matrimoni?is (consisting of 500 females and 500

males) from the Chennai newspaper was collected. Almost all of the matrimo ni?is contained both proffered and desired attributes. These qualities were further categorized for purpose of analysis into social and personal features. Some of the matrimoni?is were brief with a minimum Table 1989. gave a detailed listing of attributes. attributes advertised in Chennai during description, while 1 provides data relative others to the

Matrimoni?is:

A variation of arranged marriages TABLE I 1989

109

PROFFERED ANDDESIRED (D) MATRIMONIAL ATTRIBUTESIN (P)

ADVERTISEMENTS, THE CHENNAI SAMPLE,

ATTRIBUTES N = 500, for each gender

Percentage of Males DP D

Percentage of Females

SOCIAL Caste (j?ti) Caste by gotra (exogamy) Caste by kula (endogamy)

Caste, irrelevant

52.4 18.2 30.6

11.6

65.0 12.8 41.4

7.4 4.6 8.8

49.6 68.2 35.4 27.6 36.2 12.8 79.2 81.0

9.6 18.6

Religion
Language

76.8
15.2

63.4
6.6

State (in India) PERSONAL Education Profession Appearance Caring and Loving

3.0

7.8 5.4 12.8

16.2 Age 78.8 62.6 8.2 Height 11.8 8.2

34.6 63.2 24.2 5.8 15.2 12.4

22.8 42.4 53.2 8L6 26.0 9.6 6.6 12.4 18.6 9.8 4.6

27.2

As revealed in Table 1, it is clear that these matrimoni?is place more emphasis on social features than on two of the personal quali personal ones. However, and profession (both as proffered and desired features from male ties?education advertisers alike) ranked relatively high. This was contrary to the of Ryali and is inconsistent with recent observations of researchers in original reference to the 'homeland' Indian population. Ryali wrote that 'a cross-cultural approach utilizing comparable data from the Indian context would best settle the social question as to the relative influence of personal attributes vis-a-vis (1989: 134). A cursory look at Tables 1 and 2, along with the data analyzed in the current research, suggests that Ryali's earlier hypothesis concerning social versus personal features of the Indian (Chennai) population is not supported. Instead, a significant difference appears to exist in the emphasis characteristics' placed on caste and religion by homeland advertisers have settled and advertised in the United States. as opposed to those who and female

110 / RajagopalRyali TABLE2 PROFFERED(P)ANDDESIRED (D)ATTRIBUTESIN MATRIMONIAL

ADVERTISEMENTS, ASIAN-AMERICAN INDIANS, 1985

ATTRIBUTES
N = 500, for each gender

Percentage

of Males

Percentage

of Females

SOCIAL
Caste (j?ti) Caste by gotra (exogamy) Caste by kula (endogamy) Caste, irrelevant Religion Language State (in India) 20.4 3.2 4.6 7.2 10.4 45.6 3.8 13.2 1.6 2.0 31.6 7.0 13.8 3.4 7.6 5.0 11.6 35.4 8.4 7.2 9.8 7.0 18.4 7.8 12.6 13.4 40.6 18.2

PERSONAL
Age Education
Profession

65.6
44.0 49.2

80.2

71.0

74.8 8.6 43.4 8.6

28.2
56.0

48.0
41.6 6.0 47.4 48.4

Height
Appearance

12.6 26.8 53.0

22.4 54.2
67.2

23.2
81.6

Caring and Loving

SOCIAL ATTRIBUTES

Inmany respects, itmay be assumed that proffered features (see Tables 1 and 2) also imply characteristics desired in the respondent?with the exception of gotra a feature which has to be different for the exogamy, marriage partner. In the States (1985) sample, among the attributes listed, language was men tioned as a proffered characteristic by 45.6 percent of the males and 40.6 percent of the females (a relatively high 15.2 percent of the males proportion), whereas and 18.6 percent of the females specified language in the Chennai (1989) data. The Chennai population seems to concur with the observations of researchers in while the United States sample differs from these studies in listing as a primary attribute in spouse selection. Thus, to the Asian Indian language ethnics in the United States language was a key feature, but in the Chennai case this field, United

Matrimoni?is: it was not a crucial one. The

A variation of arranged marriages

111

reason for this difference becomes clear when one the type of clientele (that is, their language homogeneity or hetero served by the newspapers and their 'mother tongue(s).' India is a land geneity) of enormous linguistic diversity, with almost every state having its separate examines language. The Hindu caters mainly to the Tamil and Telugu speakers, and the advertisers mainly expect the speakers of these languages (or, perhaps, bilin guals) to respond. The India abroad newspaper, on the other hand, serves the entire Asian Indian ethnic community. As such, they exhibit a preference for one of the many languages brought home from India. Language ismuch more salient to these immigrants, and it seems to be one of the stamps of cultural identity for Asian Indians living inNorth America. Between 50 to 70 percent of the Chennai advertisers consider caste as a key factor in their choice of a prospective mate. Similarly, between 70 to 80 percent of this sample specified religion as a primary attribute. These two features (caste and religion) were relatively unimportant to the North American advertisers (see Table 2). These findings are considered to be highly insignificant, constituting a of this entire investigation. One would expect that five decades major highlight after independence in India, where exclusion or inclusion on the basis of caste and religion are illegal, a somewhat diminished emphasis would be placed on caste and religion in social contexts. However, it appears that in a traditional in matters dealing with society such as India, old values die hard, especially advertised marriage and the choice of a mate. Apparently, as these matrimoni?is in Chennai reveal, individuals are keen on establishing preferred endogamous alliances regarding caste and religion, while their counterparts in North America are willing to largely forego these traditional social concerns. or so ago was in India a generation estimated to be about 85 percent in rural areas and about 60 percent in urban centers (Maloney 1974: 520). In terms of mate selection, extended families place greater emphasis than nuclear families on such social characteristics as caste and religion (Anand 1965: 62). These attributes are clearly apparent in the matrimo ni?is advertised in Chennai. Social scientists agree that demographic and social incidence families features tend to receive a high priority in traditional systems of mate selection, and the matrimonial sample from Chennai strongly supports this view with on caste and religion in mate respect to caste and religion. The de-emphasis advertised by Indian ethnics in the selection, as demonstrated by matrimoni?is States in 1985, was unexpected. As such, it reflects a preference for the nuclear family setting and a change of attitude resulting from relocation in the New World. It also serves as an index of their acculturation and assimilation. If advertisements are recognized as an acceptable alternative to arranged marriages then the United States matrimoni?is may indicate the presence of a certain United The of extended than other social variables

112 / RajagopalRyali
population. than Arranged marriages, after all, are designed to meet communal needs rather those of the individual. This social fact is amply illustrated by the matrimoni?is from Chennai. degree of social ambivalence within this North American ethnic

PERSONAL ATTRIBUTES

Most

researchers who have analyzed mate selection processes in homeland India have observed that compared to the situation that existed a couple of generations an increased emphasis on ago, the last quarter of this century has witnessed in the selection of a spouse. The bride and groom are now personal attributes in their the personal qualities they are expecting involved directly in expressing to either the prospective mate, instead of leaving the decision making entirely in the or other adults. However, this pattern emerges very significantly parents more emphasis case of the Indian ethnics in North America, with relatively placed on individuality and freedom of choice in mate selection. The Chennai matters relative sample suggests that individuals prefer to stay with tradition in as caste and religion, probably due to their to education and profession, as well on adults,

dependence

their desire for a 'dowry,' and a need to maintain family 1 and 2, it can be in Tables the data presented Comparing 'respectability.' 35 percent of all advertisers in Chennai (and 65 to discerned that between 16 and

80 percent in New York) recognize age as an important factor in their choice of a mate. Less than 10 percent of the Chennai matrimoni?is (and a slightly higher in New York) consider height as an important attribute. Appearance percentage is listed by 15 percent of the Chennai sample (and between 23 to 54 percent in (but more New York sample). Less than 10 percent of Chennai matrimoni?is than half inNew York) think of caring and loving as positive nurturing qualities. in the Chennai on personal One reason for reduced emphasis qualities to those published in New York, is the continued in comparison matrimoni?is, of prestations (specifically, dowry) as an unwritten social norm that expectation are pervades alliance contracts in India. Despite the fact that dowry transactions traditional society has not illegal in the Republic of India in a formal sense, this been able to abandon the dowry principle. Girls anxiously expect their parents to if generate substantial amounts of money, gold jewelry, and other prestations are to be assured of a 'right match,' while boys and their parents find they in a demanding role when the boy has the 'right' credentials with themselves respect to education, profession, and social status. Itmay be appropriate to cite the matrimonial statistics relative to education

Matrimoni?is: and profession

A variation of arranged marriages

113

as personal qualities at this juncture. Nearly three quarters of the advertisers, particularly the male segment, in Chennai (and about one-third in New York) mention education as a primary issue, while more than half in the Chennai sample (and about the same in New York) regard one's profession, or the prospect of it, as the key element in the choice of a mate. The expectation of a good education and a secure job in the groom appears to motivate individuals to retain the age-old practice of the dowry system in India. These prestations are often a reason for frustration to the girl and her parents but a matter of rejoicing for the boy and his parents. A realistic note of compromise with regard to the for a family with both boys and girls in dowry system may be a consideration to be for their weddings equal numbers when all of them are waiting
consummated.

ironic to the author that on many occasions he heard the relatives of bridegrooms insisting that the refusal to accept a decent dowry would diminish It was their respectability in 'the eye of the beholder,' that is, the in-laws. The bride's on the other hand, frequently expressed the view that refusing a dowry or family, not being able to offer one would be demeaning to the girl. This attitude, more than anything else, appears to keep the boy and the girl in conformity with the of the community. This is in spite of their personal feelings (which often differ from those of adults) in matters of individuality and inde pendent thinking regarding the issues that affect their lives. The adults, although on their receptive to the desires of their children on most issues (a compromise were invariably fixed in their minds and were keen on procuring someone part), a boy with good education, a girl whose parents could offer a decent dowry?or who could make the daughter happy, even if it amounted to offering a suitable adult members case of the Ambati family (from the United States) dowry. The dowry-litigation that had hit the headlines both in the United States and in India in 1995 would illustrate that dowry practice has not vanished totally by any means. These views on the adults wielded substantial control in influencing the youngster's in the dowry system, education, caste, and religion as important considerations selection of the future bride or groom. The girls and boys in the Chennai sample, are not in a position to offer much resistance to their due to their dependence, families. This situation would, therefore, explain the higher rating of social attributes in the matrimoni?is published inChennai. there exists a built-in and Behind adult control and youth dependence, pervasive as 'family ethic' is the duty of every member of a family to (comparable to 'work ethic') where it the family honor and in all matters affecting support every other member finance. This ethic becomes part of the enculturation process as one is growing up in India, and a breach of this value is considered more or less immoral. There cultural tradition in India that can be translated

114

/ Rajagopal

Ryali

instances where the first-born boy (or girl) will have to step in and redress any unforeseen needs of the family, particularly when the parents are to the helpless. This honor code extends beyond the principle of primogeniture entire family as well and to the extended family in many instances. The family ethic, despite some instances of abuse, has worked to the benefit of the family in the past, and the adults feel comfortable in retaining this code. It is hard to predict whether there would be an erosion of the family ethic with an influx of the Western attributes continues concepts of freedom and individuality. The emphasis on social in the Chennai matrimonial that family ethic sample demonstrates to retain a solid grip on the value system that relates to the choice of a that social attributes continue to receive

are numerous

prospective spouse. It is, therefore, no wonder attention perpetuate continues in the Chennai

matrimoni?is.

As

the notion of respectability, to depend on their relatives for these a diminished prestations, on social attributes is not likely to take place. Thus, such factors as emphasis education and profession, along with attributes relative to religion and caste, will invariably rank high in spouse selection.

special to long as Indian society continues and as long as the younger generation

CONCLUSION

The matrimoni?is

in Chennai in 1989 were compared with those published York City in 1985. Several were published important differences revealed. The Chennai sample placed more emphasis on social attributes (such as caste and religion) and on personal qualities (such as education and profes in New is more traditional in sion). This would indicate that the homeland population their pursuit of spouse selection. This situation may be due to the enormous control wielded by the adult members of the society and their willingness to

retain the dowry principle. The younger generation, freedom with respect to several though maintaining the personal characteristics of they would expect in their prospective mates, are drawn into a dependent role regarding prestations, for which they need the support of their parents and other adults. The code of family ethic also serves to reinforce this dependence. It is somewhat of an enigma that these conditions allow the persistence of the 'dowry system,' a practice outlawed by the rules of the land. It is also impossible likely to take place relative when itmight happen. to predict at the present time whether to this important social phenomenon, a change is as well as

Matrimoni?is:

A variation of arranged marriages

115

As a concluding remark, one may note that despite the many social reforms that have taken place in modern with the India, gender differences?along continue to prevail. These can be observed through dowry system?somehow both the proffered and desired attributes that continue to characterize the mate selection more tradi in this study appear conspicuously process. The women tional than the men regarding most of the categories of matrimonial attributes that reflect their goals and ambitions relative tomarriage. One should not forget, the advances made by women the traditional outlook in India in the fields of education and

however,

in is, perhaps, most strongly manifested occupation. Thus, the social realm that includes marriage and spouse selection. Caste and religion also have not ceased to influence the role of women despite the recent societal changes that have impacted their lives.

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RAJAGOPAL

RYALI is Distinguished Research Professor and International Studies at Auburn University Montgomery.

of Anthropology