Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Carrie Underwood
The Surprising Story Behind Her Big Love
50 Ways to
Charm Anyone... and Always Get What You Want
PLUS
The Love Lie 52% of Men Tell
March
Cover Stories
Carrie Underwood The surprising story behind her big love
122
Whip out these moves and his next tattoo will be of your name.
42
48
Fashion: 7 Items Youll Wear the Hell Out Of (All $60 or less)
86
How to Touch a Naked Man 16 naughty strokes that will send him over the edge
122
Cosmo News
41 Hot Sheet This months top trends 54 Beauty Evolution: Whats Fergies 56 The Real Story: Britney May Have 60
Best Look? So many Fergalicious styles Found The One Its about freakin time. Sexy vs. Skanky Major cleavage crisis!
Make ouch-f waxing apply ree by teethin ing a baby hour b g gel half an eforeh and.
Tip
How I Solved Our Sex Issue Real women share their no-fail fixes for 13 seriously awkward (but common!) problems
Guy Watch
130
Man Manual
66 Decode How He Acts After a Fight 70 The Guy Report Why he loves librarians 72 The Truth About His Crazy Ex Dont 74
believe it when he says shes psycho. 10 Things Guys Wish You Knew By Vampire Diaries cutie Ian Somerhalder
117 Stud Meter Why R-Patz is midmeter 118 Awesome Aussies Crikey, theyre hot! 120 Grow Up, Already! We dressed these
cheaters like the man-babies they are.
86 94
142
Stuff Your Friends Know About Your Relationship That You Dont
146
Curb Your Cravings! Without feeding your face
Cosmo Look
156
93 Beauty News Gaze-enhancing shadows 94 His Picks Always get acne on one side of
your face? Cuddling could be the cause. 98 Wake Up Sexier! Real results overnight 100 The Perfect Pink for You Sweet cheeks 104 Beauty Q&A A brilliant little shaving tip
180
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192
Styles that will bring on a serious case of spring fever
184 Bitch It Out! A special BF rant-fest 186 If Guys Edited Cosmo: Sexy vs.
Sexier Because men dont get skanky. 189 The Naughtiest Thing Ive Ever Done She got back at a catty coworker. 190 Are You There, Chelsea? Her takes on Brangelina and multiple boyfriends
Cosmo Life
215 Weekend Pamper your tresses. 216 You and Him Score one-on-one time. 218 At Your Place: Your Decorating
DilemmasSolved An instant (and almost free!) headboard for your bed 220 Eat This Up: An Easy Wine-Tasting Party Snacks for a vino-filled night 222 Healthy Sexy Strong Calorie burners
139 8 Ways to Feel Closer After Sex 140 How to Meet the Perfect Man
Quadruple your dating pool.
164
Share a sip at your own risk.
Regular Features
16 22 62 64 224 228 234 236
Cosmo at a Glance From the Editor Confessions Guy Confessions Cosmo Astrologer Red-Hot Read Shopping Information Cosmo Quiz: Do You Know When a Guys Into You?
Health Check
ONTHECOVER
Dress by Rebecca Taylor. Earrings by Robert Lee Morris. Bracelet by C. Greene. To get Carries look, try Exceptionnel de Chanel Mascara in Smoky Noir, Quadra Eye Shadow in Kaska Beige, Powder Blush in In Love, and Rouge Allure Laque Lip Lacquer in Ming, all by Chanel. Hair: Marco Santini for Tresemm. Makeup: Rachel Goodwin for Chanel at the Wall Group. Manicure: Elisa Ferri for See Management. Fashion director: Michelle McCool. Photographed by Cliff Watts
162
Date night just got cheaper.
Need to Know
170 Inside a CSI Murder It sounds madefor-TV, but this crime was horribly real.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
(From top) MARC BAPTISTE. SVEND LINDBAEK. DREW AND DEREK RIKER.
Convo Starters
Cosmo at a Glance
CANT-MISS QUOTE
Carrie Underwood
Dont have time to devour the whole magazine right this minute? These must-read tidbits (all cribbed from articles in this issue) will give you a taste of whats to come.
March 10
L Research shows that friends often know whats right for us better than we do. Tap in to the surprising things that others may know about you with our tips. P. 146
THE INDEX
Some words just keep popping up. This month, it was:
Erotic
hell experience if you touch him here .......................................p. 122 her boyfriend in lieu of phone sex ..............................................p. 130
U What shoes are to both women U The influence that the sun has
and men, thanks to the wiring in our brains .....................................p. 174 on a Geminis love life this month ..........................................p. 224 Red-Hot Read character over the edge ......................................p. 228
When he texts hey, hes not being cryptic. He wants you to know hes thinking about you, and hes craving reassurance that hes on your mind too. Find out what to text him back on p. 142.
P. 156
L Yikes: 15 percent of condom-users will become pregnant each year because they didnt put it on correctly. P. 168
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
(Cake topper) Photographers Choice/Getty Images. (Bracelet) JESUS AYALA/STUDIO D. (Underwood) CLIFF WATTS. (Watering can) Dorling Kindersley/Getty Images.
WAYS TO FLIRT IT UP
Turns out, your mojo powers are good for getting you more than just a free vodka tonic. When you flirt with everyone in your life, you boost their egos thereby upping your chances of getting your way. Drop the one-liners below, then flip to p. 180 for 48 more tips to help you work your magic. 1. Frequently gush over your neighbors gorgeous flower boxes or garden and shell be more willing to water your plants while youre away on vacation. 2. Next time you need advice, tell your girls, You guys will know exactly how I should deal with this....
You Tell Us
As an employee at a womens shelter, I want to thank Cosmo for covering domestic- and sexual-violence issues so often. Great job, and thanks for getting the word out there. Samantha I opened your magazine, and my jaw dropped. Inside was a local teacher featured as one of Cosmos sexiest bachelors [November 2009]. I also teach, and Ive never seen a teacher look that good. Luckily, he doesnt work with me or I couldnt focus. Keep the hotties coming! Aimee You missed the mark in 7 Habits That Are Giving You Belly Pudge [December 2009]. You list being a vegetarian as the number two reason for belly fat...but that by itself wont make you fat. Poor diet and no exercise are the real problems. Julie I loved your online feature on the Stupak-Pitts Amendment. Its awesome that you informed your readers about this issue that is central to womens reproductive freedom and gave them tools to take action. Anna
L When young women dine out with a thin pal who chows down, they subconsciously follow her lead and eat heartily as well. (Page 222) L Blueberry yogurtthanks to the violet-red juice found in itcan be used as dye to give your hair a reddish tint.
(Page 110)
Recently, body-language expert Janine Driver stopped by the office to give Cosmo staffers some insider tips about how to read people just from observing their movements and posture. While weve done plenty of body-language articles on reading menfrom how to tell if the gorgeous guy at the bar is into you to what your boyfriends sleep style reveals about his relationship MOJanine reminded us of another way to use this knowledge: at work. Turns out, you can use simple moves to send subliminal messages to your coworkers (and boss!) that youre on top of your game and brimming with confidence. Check out Janines tips from her new book, You Say More Than You Think: A SevenDay Plan for Using the New Body Language to Get What You Want, on page 150.
L According to a recent survey, cheating is not the number one thing men lie about.
(Page 48)
L Online window-shopping taps in to your brains reward center, triggering a shoppers high. (Page 174)
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
(Top to bottom, from left) Keith Major Photography. TAMARA SCHLESINGER. Glowimages/Getty Images. JACK MISKELL.
Know a cute, single guy? He could win $10,000 and a new Express wardrobe!
Our nationwide search for the hottest guy from each state starts now, and well be crowning one lucky guy Bachelor of the Year. If you know a sexy, unattached man who should make the cut, nominate him. Go to cosmopolitan.com/bachelors to send us an e-mail or to print out an official entry form. Include his age, height, weight, profession, and state. Give details on why hes so awesome, plus two color photos (one head shot and one full-length, shirtless body shot) and contact info for you both (phone number, e-mail, and street address). Be sure to fill us in on how you know himsorry, no boyfriends allowed. Drop off the entry form, with photos attached, at your local Express or Express Men store, or mail it to Cosmo Bachelors, 300 West 57th Street, 38th Floor, New York, NY 10019. Deadline: April 11. See page 235 for entry rules.
EXPRESS IS THE EXCLUSIVE RETAIL SPONSOR OF THE 2010 COSMO BACHELOR CONTEST.
Andy Baldwin, California, 2005 After being in Cosmo, he went on to star on ABCs The Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman.
Steven Ward, Pennsylvania, 2003 We taught this guy well: Steven now dishes dating advice as the host of VH1s Tough Love.
Jabari Greer, Tennessee, 2007 This athlete currently plays for the New Orleans Saints and ranks among the NFLs fastest defensive backs.
David Entinghe, Ohio, 2005 Cosmo launched his modeling career, including campaigns for Abercrombie & Fitch, Tommy Hilfiger, and DKNY.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
TAMARA SCHLESINGER. Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Jennifer Brent for Krastase Paris at Kramer and Kramer. Makeup: Thora at Kate Ryan Inc. for MAC Cosmetics. Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. Shirt: Wildfox; jeans: Chip & Pepper. (Baldwin and Entinghe) DREW AND DEREK RIKER. (Ward) ERIC MCNATT. (Greer) BETH STUDENBERG.
BACHELOR SEARCH
2010
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Hot Sheet
6 Trends on the Rise Right Now
If you dont callI wont care.
COSMONEWS
Heres good news for friends with benefits: A new study has found that people who have casual sex arent any more likely to regret it than are those who get it on with their serious boyfriend or girlfriend. (Note to study authors: Duh.)
1Harmless Hookups
Spring is around the corner, which means youll finally be able to bare more skin. And while showing off some leg is eye-catching, doing so in a metallic dresspaired with a simple do and subtle makeupwill be downright eye-gluing.
2 Going Greek
(Top to bottom, from left) TAMARA SCHLESINGER. Jay Maidment/SMPSP/ 2009 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. and Legendary Pictures. Ringo/Jesal Parshotam/pacificcoastnews.com. Apple.com. Kevin Mazur/AMA 2009/WireImage. Corbis/jupiterimages.com.
Theres no shortage of mythological gods and monsters in theaters this month. Clash of the Titans features Liam Neeson as Zeus and Ralph Fiennes as Hades, while Uma Thurman sports a head of snakes as Medusa in Percy Jackson & the Olympians. Toga party, anyone?
Chicks are supposed to be the ones with baby lust, but a recent survey shows that 53 percent of 20something guys would have a baby pronto if circumstances allowed it. We hope those circumstances include a job and weekend activities that dont involve Jgermeister.
Wannabe Dads
Kate Hudson
Gosh, I didnt get your e-mail wont cut it anymore. First, Starbucks did it, and now McDonalds is trading in pay-as-you-go WiFi for gratis service. That pretty much brings free On the Internet to the menu: Burgers whole country. and WiFry Sadly, all the er, WiFi cash saved will be spent on burgers and mocha lattes.
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN
41
Interview
Mega success has made this sexy country star reluctant to discuss her fianc. But we finally got her to open up.
By Ky Henderson
Do not look at me! Carrie Underwood orders a small group of onlookers as she struts past. What did I tell you? Dont look at the artist! Were backstage at Live With Regis and Kelly, watching Carrie do her best impression of a bitchy celebritythe key word being impression. Shes actually joking around with guys in her band, who crack up as she walks by in a purple cocktail dress and a pair of strappy black heels that look like what Victoria Beckham would wear if she moonlighted as a dominatrix. And yet even in that outfit, Carrie looks totally approachable. Its a quality she was sort of born with. An Oklahoma girl like me wouldnt even know how to be a diva, she explains. Im just a person who has a cool job. I love to be at home. I rarely go to clubsand I always wear underwear! I just know Id fall down, and thats not for everyone to see.
COSMONEWS
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Fashion director: Michelle McCool. Hair: Marco Santini for Tresemm. Makeup: Rachel Goodwin for Chanel at the Wall Group. Manicure: Elisa Ferri for See Management. Dress: Fendi; earrings: Robert Lee Morris; bracelets: DANNIJO. See page 234 for shopping information.
COSMONEWS
THE COSMO QUIZ
Name:___________________________ Nickname:_______________________ To me, being country means being: a. Traditional. b. Unpretentious. c. Outdoorsy. d. Deep-fried and smothered in gravy. e. Other: _________________________. If singing hadnt worked out, Id probably be _____________________ ________________________________. If I wanted to shock people, Id: a. Release a hip-hop album. b. Tell people I have no idea who Johnny Cash is. c. Toilet-paper Taylor Swifts house. d. Admit that the original title of my song Jesus, Take the Wheel was Who Let Jesus Drive? e. Other: _________________________.
I couldnt date a guy who didnt love my ___________________. The best thing about being a vegetarian is that: a. Its relatively easy to maintain my weight. b. I never have meal regret. c. I feel like Im having less of a negative impact on the environment. d. I rarely discover that I have barbecue sauce on my face. If I could have won a reality show other than American Idol, it would have been: a. So You Think You Can Dance. b. Hells Kitchen. c. The Amazing Race. d. Project Runway. e. Rock of Love. My favorite part of my body is my: a. Hair. b. Boobs. c. Butt. d. Legs. Ive always wished I were better at ______________________________. The weirdest part about being famous is _____________________ ________________________________ ____________________________. In relationships, I tend to: a. Be a little bit of a pushover. b. Wear the pants. c. Overanalyze things. d. Need my own space more than the other person.
Once shes onstage chatting, Regis surprises Carrie with a picture of her fianc, pro hockey player Mike Fisher, and refers to him as her good-looking brute. Thing is, in addition to being one of the most down-to-earth celebs weve ever met, Carrie is also one of the most guardedespecially about her love life. She doesnt lose her smile or sense of humor when she sees the photoDont know who that is, she muttersbut when shes asked about Mike, Carrie basically talks about nothing more than hockey. Regis let her off way too easy.
MYSTERY WOMAN
Since winning American Idol in 2005, Carrie has become the most successful female country artist of the decade even though shes been at it for only the past five years. Her first album, Some Hearts, debuted at number one and went on to sell more than 7 million copies. Her next two albums, Carnival Ride and Play On, also debuted at number one. Shes the first female country artist in history to have 10 number one singles on her first two albums. Its been wonderful, but it makes me wish that there were more women who had the opportunity to do what I do, Carrie tells us. When youre a woman, there are a lot more criteria that you need to meet in order to make it. Nobody would have looked at me twice if it werent for Idol. Back then, I was 20 pounds heavier and literally fresh off the farm. That farm was in Oklahoma, where her parents still live and where Carrie, who has two much older sisters, grew up almost as though she were an only child. She loved to sing but never thought seriously about it becoming a career. Then, while studying broadcast journalism in college, friends convinced her to go to Saint Louis to try out for Idol. A little more than a year after that audition, she had her first hit with Jesus, Take the Wheel.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Im really insecure about my _____ _________________________________ because ________________________ TURN ________________________________. THE PAGE TO FIND OUT WHY. Im sometimes mistaken for _____ _________________________________ ________________________________. The best part about having an NHL-player fianc is that: a. The games are exciting. b. Hes in great shape. c. He has my back in a bar fight. d. I get to spend so much time in Canada during the winter! e. Other: _________________________.
(Underwood) MAP/splashnews.com. (Fisher, from left) NHL Images/NHLI via Getty Images; Andre Ringuette/NHLI via Getty Images.
COSMONEWS
Shes got a thing about her knees.
N She wears a custom-made ring engraved with the name of her dog, Ace, alongside tiny inlaid diamonds in the shape of bones. N Right before the American Idol nale in 2008, she tripped while jogging and badly cut her knee. A woman stopped and took Carrie home but had no idea who she was. N When she was younger, she swore shed be done having children by the time she turned 30. Now she doesnt want to start until after shes 30.
Even though their music is very different, Carrie and Taylor Swift are the poster girls for a new country-music sound that also embraces pop. That blending has caused some people to question whether its country music at all. But if you ask Carrie or anyone who knows her, theres no doubt about it. Carrie has always had a strong sense of herself artistically, says Mark Bright, who produced all three of Carries albums. Shes a country artist. In fact, if she tried to be a pop artist, shed probably fail. That isnt who she really is. Who she really is outside the studio is something even Carrie says is a mystery. Im a closed-off person, she admits. When youre talking to women, you tend to open up, and thats why I often choose to be around guys, who usually talk about surface stuff. Thats not to say she has no girlfriendsshe has a tight-knit circle of them. And besides, there are definite pluses to not revealing much. In a way, its been to her advantage to be so guarded, because she hasnt put herself in negative situations that some other artists get into, says songwriter Luke Laird, who cowrote several songs with Carrie. And once you get her in a writing room, she opens up. The writing room is one place shes been spending a lot of time. She cowrote seven of the songs on Play Ona sign, Carrie says, that shes revealing more of herself. Still, as important as it is to her to connect with fans, theres another connection shes always wanted moreand now she has it.
FAVORITE NUMBER
After a year of dating Mike, who plays for the Ottawa Senators, Carrie had barely acknowledged publicly that they were together. But when Play On debuted last fall, Carrie thanked #12Mikes jersey numberin the liner notes for his love and support. Less than two months later, Carrie was spotted at a Senators game sporting a massive diamond on her finger.
And yet, even now, when we ask her about that first real public acknowledgement, she gives this quiet reply: That could be any number 12. Shes joking, of course. Sort of. For a brief, silent moment, we feel (and she looks) as if were torturing her. But then she starts talking. He provided a lot of inspiration for songs, whether it was something he said or just by being supportive, she tells us. When I was fried trying to write, he was my escape. At no point during our conversation does she actually use Mikes name...but we can live with that. In a way, their courtship began when Mikes mom saw Carrie on Idol and taped her performances so she could point out the singer to her son. Mike, of course, didnt pay much attention to his mothers intuition. But coincidentally, he and Carrie were linked through friends of friends, and they started telling him he should meet her. So finally, he ended up backstage at a show she did in Toronto in October 2008. I made sure he came in with some other people, Carrie says, since she didnt want it to be one-on-one. I was like What if hes weird? He wasnt. After chatting with Mike on the phone for a few months, she went to her first hockey gameand people started to talk. Well, everyone except Carrie and Mike. They kept their mouths shut, choosing instead to keep their relationship between them. Carrie admits that circumstances make theirs a strange relationship they still live more than 1,000 miles apartbut they create their own kind of normalcy. If one of her songs comes on the car radio (not normal), Mike will crank up the volume and belt it out while she laughs at his singing (normal). Its a perfect example of that connection shed been craving. I didnt want to be one of those people who has an amazing career but ends up alone and unhappy, Carrie says. I want to be happy. Then she N laughs to herself. I want it all.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
COSMONEWS Relationships
The reason he tells it is just as important as the lie itself.
When Tiger Woods first denied those rumors circulating about him, we wanted to strap the dude down and force him to take a lie-detector test. But according to a recent survey, the number one man-lie isnt about cheating. Turns out, its this: Nothings wrong. Im fine. More than half of men fessed up to feeding their girlfriends this line. That means that more likely than not, your man has used it on you. According to experts, this go-to fib is all about avoiding drama and protecting male pride. Most guys know theyre not as good at talking through their feelings as women are, says Seth Meyers, PhD, a Los Angeles relationship expert. Hes worried that if he tries to vocalize whats bothering him, hell say the wrong thing, make you emotional, and cause the issue to escalate into something worse than it is. In other words, he doesnt want to make a mess that he cant clean up. And hes not the only one ducking drama: Most women know intuitively when a guy is holding back
but wont challenge him on it because they dont want to seem like a nag, says Dory Hollander, PhD, author of 101 Lies Men Tell Women. But if youre giving your man a free pass, youre missing out on an opportunity to strengthen your bondand putting your relationship at risk. FEEL HIM OUT. When he utters those four little words, it isnt necessarily a red flag. Most likely, he just doesnt feel like talking about something he thinks will make him seem weak in front of youespecially if hes hit a snag at work. Work is where men feel the greatest sense of power and stability in their lives, Meyers says. So when things go wrong there, they can feel like their life is spinning out of control. That vulnerability is yet another emotion that guys would rather not express. Men have this idea that women are looking for their knight in shining armor, the man who can handle anything, Meyers says. Theyre afraid theyll be less attractive if they dont keep up that facade, so they need to be told flat out that you actually like it when they open up a little. Make a joke to get your point across without entering seriously cheesy territory. Say something like Not to go all Dr. Phil on you or anything, but I kind of like hearing about what goes on during your dayeven the bad stuff. Then back off if he doesnt want to have a heart-to-heart that instant. By giving him the option to discuss it later, youll help him feel like hes still in the drivers seat. Women make the mistake of wanting to fix everything in one long talk, says Paula Rinehart, author of Whats He Really Thinking. We approach problems that way, but men take more time to figure things out. Give him a couple of days, then ask him if hes still bummedand why. DANGER SIGNS. As for the guy who drops this lie often and wont say a peep no matter how much you gently encourage him, you have to call him out. At this point, its a more serious situation, Meyers says. Use this line to let him know its not okay to keep his lips zipped: Ive been trying to connect with you on this, but everything Ive tried has failed. What do you think I should do here? Itll let him know that youre considering his feelings but that he has to ROBIN HILMANTEL speak up to make things right.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Nicola Majocchi/folio-id.com
The rocker has never been afraid to try an edgy style. Heres a peek back at some of her most Fergalicious moments.
2003
2004
Being in a group with all guys made her embrace her inner tomboy.
2005
4% 2
2007
2008
2009
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
(Left to right, from top) Ferdaus Shamim/WireImage; Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage; S Granitz/WireImage; Chris Polk/FilmMagic; Gregg DeGuire/WireImage; infevents.com.
MAY 2008
This photo, taken a year before the two officially started dating, shows a strong friendship. Britneys face is relaxed, and her grip on Jason signals her trust.
Solid Beginnings
Skeptics say Britneys past love disasters may predict her future, but our bodylanguage expert sees true love with her boyfriend and agent, Jason Trawick.
Taking Care
Jason opens the door, a protective gesture, and Britney twists her body toward his even as she walks forward, showing she craves his support.
JUNE 2009
Theyre in Sync
Britney and Jason maintain a similar stride as they walk, a subconscious sign that they are on the same page in the relationship and share a tight bond.
NOV. 2009
Jasons posture mirrors Britneys as they care for her sons, suggesting that hes comfortable melding with her life.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
COSMONEWS
Licking your guys abs in a club Ordering sex over the phone
Bloodred lips
Bloodshot eyes
confessions
Check, Please!
Cosmo readers share their most shocking stories and steamiest secrets.
I hadnt done laundry in a while, so I wore the only clean underwear I had: an ultratight thong. It got to be really uncomfortable, so in the middle of the day, I ran to the bathroom and took it off, deciding it was better to go commando than keep it on. Since the pants I was wearing that day didnt have any pockets, I stuffed the pantie into one of my boots. Later, without thinking about it, I stopped by a shoe store. As a cute salesman was helping me out, I took off my bootand the thong fell out onto the floor right in front of him! His face turned beet red, and he looked away. I didnt know what to do, so I stuffed it back in my boot as quickly as possible, put it on my foot, and ran out of the store. Nora, 34
Honeymoons Over
On our way back from our honeymoon, my husband and I decided to stop by my new in-laws house. We had tons of photos we wanted to show them, so we made sure to delete the few risqu ones before we got there. We went inside and started flipping through the pictures right away. After some cute posed shots, a photo of me coming out of the shower in our hotel roomcompletely nudecame up! Apparently, we hadnt seen that one when we went through to censor the dirty ones. We tried to change to a different photo right away, but there must have been some glitch because we couldnt move beyond that screen for at least another 30 seconds or so! We had already agreed to stay for dinner, so we couldnt even make a quick exit. Meredith, 22
REPORTED BY ROBIN HILMANTEL
If I were her, I would have winked at the shoe salesman and said Oh, I forgot I was going commando today. Does that get me a discount? Whipping out a clever joke in the middle of an embarrassing situation would definitely impress me.
John, 20
COSMOPOLITAN.COM/CONFESS
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
WADLEY. Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Carlos Vera for visionofvera.com. Makeup: Jillian Chaitin for Nars. Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. Jacket: DKNY; dress: Thayer. Names of readers who share stories and of those mentioned in the stories have been changed to protect their privacy. Stories may have been edited for length, content, and clarity.
I had a really crazy daythe kind that takes six cups of coffee to get throughbut I was still looking forward to my blind date that evening. When I got there, I was so overly caffeinated that I was shaking. I dropped my fork and almost tipped over my plate. I couldnt stop awkwardly fidgeting the entire night, and my date kept looking at me like I was insane. Still, I thought he might be up for giving me a second chance until the end of dinner, when I got up from the tableand took the entire tablecloth with me. Everything on top of it spilled all over the poor guy, and he barely said good-bye before practically sprinting away from me. Rita, 21
Pantie Flasher
Damage Control
GUY
confessions
Party Monster
My girlfriend and I had been doing the long-distance thing for almost a year when I decided to make a surprise visit to see her on her birthday. She sounded really bummed when I told her I couldnt make it to her birthday party, so I knew that showing up at the last minute would be an awesome present. When I got to her party, though, I was the one who got a surprise. I caught her in a back room making out with some guy Id never met. Furious, I left before she spotted me, called the cops to report the underage drinking that was going on, and made the trip back home without telling her Id been there. When she phoned me the next day, I acted shocked to learn that her party had been busted by the police and shed been kicked out of her apartment complex because of it. I still havent admitted to her that it was all my fault.
Jimmy, 22
Men admit to their dirtiest deeds and most shameless scams ever.
A Bad Rap
I was dating this girl who was really into rap. Even though I know next to nothing about it, I pretended I was also really into it and took her out one night to this beat-poetry slam. I thought it was something she would love, and I was right. When they had an open-mike portion at the end, I decided to really impress her by going up and reading a poem Id written especially for her. I signed up to do it, and a few minutes later, they called everyone up onto the stage. I must have been confused, though, because I had actually entered a rap battle! When the announcer explained this, my dates whole face lit upthat is, until they handed me the mike and put on a beat for me to rap to. I was panicking, but I tried to do the best job I could. Not that it really mattered. I ended up being so awful, they eliminated me immediately... and so did the girl. Peter, 30
Hot-Guy Blooper
Golden Boy
While in the bathroom at work, I was doing my thing at a urinal when my cell phone rang. I went to grab it, but as I did, I accidentally peed on my shoe. Sure enough, thats the exact TOTALLY moment my boss walked in. When I BUSTED! turned around, he looked at me and said, Dont worry. It happens! Its cool that he was understanding and all, but I spent the rest of the day thinking to myself, No, it never, ever happens! Whats wrong with this guy?! Harold, 21
Sin Cycle
My friend from work was throwing a party, and everyone from the office was there. I lucked out and ended up going into the laundry room with a coworker Id secretly been crushing on. After we, um, finished up, we managed to come out undetected. Two minutes later, a middle-age woman came downstairs in her pajamas, clearly upset. Turns out, our host still lives with his parents and had forgotten to tell us. His mom had come to say that whoever was having sex on the washing machine needed to stop ASAP. She then said, Judging by the names they keep repeating, I think its Andrew and Gwen. Andrew, 25
Sloppy Seconds
I hooked up with my buddys ex-girlfriend. When he found out about it, the first thing he said to me was You know she has an STD, right? Thats the reason we broke up. I started freaking out and went to the girl to confront her. She denied everything, at which point I told her she was a lying bitch. I visited the doctor to assess the damage, but after a ridiculously painful checkup, I realized that I was clean and my buddy was just trying to get back at me for sleeping with his ex. I felt like an idiotand an asshole. Hank, 25
REPORTED BY ROBIN HILMANTEL
I was with some buddies when we saw a group of gorgeous girls playing volleyball. I kept staring at them as we passed by, and since I wasnt really paying attention, I walked straight into a street sign! My friends still give me a hard time.
Kareem, 26
COSMOPOLITAN.COM/CONFESS
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
BETH STUDENBERG. Names of readers who share stories and of those mentioned in the stories have been changed to protect their privacy. Stories may have been edited for length, content, and clarity.
In a perfect world, your man would sit you down on the couch and say, Honey, Im so sorry about what happened (even if it wasnt his fault). Unfortunately, guy land doesnt work that way. So we asked experts to translate his postbattle behavior.
Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Damian Monzillo using Davines Hair Care for Kate Ryan Inc. Makeup: Thora at Kate Ryan Inc. using Make Up For Ever. Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. Pants: l.o.g.g.
Man Manual
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN
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Man Manual
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ROSES CAN BE A SMOKE SCREEN WHEN A DUDE DOESNT WANT TO TALK THROUGH YOUR DISPUTE.
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Man Manual
Librarians
Theyre supposed to be buttoned-up and uptight. So if he could turn one into a wild sex goddess, that would pretty much make him a sex god.
DUMB ADVICE HES GETTING When a woman starts with the problems, just interrupt her and say, Hey, whoa, wait a minute here, do I look like one of your girlfriends? datingdummies.com
GUYPINION
I would put ridiculously bright colors together like uorescent purple and Easter egg blue. I thought I was a trendsetter, but I really just looked like Rainbow Brite.
Brandon, 21
For a while, I wore a basketball jersey every single day. At the time, I felt like a total pro, but now, I cringe. I looked like an idiot...and girls were denitely not into it. Nicolas, 19
I had these peach loafers that made me look like an Italian playboy on a Caribbean vacation. I blame the salesmanhe kept saying how breathable they were. Abe, 34
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(Female model) TAMARA SCHLESINGER. Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Jennifer Brent for Krastase Paris at Kramer and Kramer. Makeup: Thora at Kate Ryan Inc. for MAC Cosmetics. Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. (Male model) istockphoto.com. (Shoes) Hugh Threlfall/Alamy.
Man Manual
HIS SIDE
even guys who race motorcycles and laugh at Saw VI want to run to Mama when faced with a psycho ex. ex in order to cast ourselves as the victim rather than admit to being the villain in a past relationship. Its hard to find fault in our dating behavior because that might lead us to more troubling realizations about how we need to improve as people. Its a lot easier to reassign the guilt and start looking for the next love of our life. And when we do find a keeper, the crazy ex-girlfriend is a fictional character that helps us get your complete allegiance. By claiming that women in our past have wronged us, we hope youll want to make up for our heinous experiences by showing us how a great guy should be treatedpreferably with mind-blowing sex. If your man starts talking about his crazy ex, keep this in mind: Most women dont go nuts for no reason, and details tend to be blown out of proportion. When he says something like She called me 20 times in one night, she really called only three times in a week when he vanished after saying I love you. To get the real story on his past loves, believe half of what you hear and all of what you see. Focus on how he treats youspecifically, whether he takes your needs and concerns seriously or shrugs them off. If its the latter, you could end up being his N next psycho ex.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Sudden Amnesia
I thought I had blocked out the bad memories in the seven years since our split, but the flashbacks began immediately. There was Belinda threatening to jump out of the car if I didnt let her listen to my voice mail. Belinda accusing me of sleeping with the coworker I was having lunch with. And how could I forget Belinda parking outside my apartment and watching me walk by with another date? I was ripped back to reality when she said, Matt, Im sure a lot has changed since you used to hide your phone, sleep with coworkers, and double-book your Friday nights. I smiled nervously as we exchanged niceties. After she left, I questioned my memory of our two-year relationship. Come to think of it, I did talk to other girls when I was seeing Belinda. I, uh, also had affairs toward the end, trying out new girlfriends on Friday nights before going to her place. Then it hit me: Her craziness began after I started treating her terribly.
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ALEXA MILLER
Man Manual
Our current celeb crush reveals what men think but never say.
to open doors for women notice that theyre lacking and try to make up for it. 4 Guys are attracted to a girl who looks comfortable. If she is wearing sweats and is comfortable, its sexy. 5 A busy schedule isnt an excuse to let a relationship fail. When a relationship is special, we find ways to be there. 6 Men are intimidated by smart women. They make us want to kick up our game a little more. 7 Dont tell a guy youre fine when youre not. Just tell us whats wrong. Its easier that way. 8 Texting shouldnt be used as the primary way of communicating in a relationship. 9 We understand the pressure that is put on women about how they look. We know its unfair.
Ken Browar/Icon International
Ian Somerhalder
Hometown:
Man on Fire
Covington, Louisiana
Age: 31 Current gig: Starring
1 When a guy dates an intelligent woman, he thinks about all the things he has done wrong and whether or not he deserves her. 2 Bad boys can be reformed. They act
that way for a certain reason. If you get to the bottom of that, you can usually understand them. 3 Lots of guys lack manners. Just know that those of us raised
Has a girlfriend
10 As men get older, we realize you cant just live for yourself. It takes us a little longer to come to that point, but we do get there.
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fun fearless
Zip-Pocket Skirt Martin + Osa, $69.50, martinandosa.com
Back off, denim! Khaki is making a comeback as the seasons must-have basic.
Belted Bandage Dress Grass, $59, 800-BUYMACY
JESUS AYALA/STUDIO D. Fashion editor and stylist: Karen Larrain. (Runway) firstview.com.
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fun fearlessfashion
Naughty Cowgirl
Pairing a distressed tee with a killer leather jacket shows you like it, um, rough.
A striped cotton top goes suddenly glam when you add a flashy necklace and stilettos.
Shirt, Divine Rights of Denim, $88, 800-BUYMACY; skirt, American Eagle Outfitters, $44.50, ae.com
Top, Splendid, $59, E Street Denim Co., 847-433-8338; skirt, DKNY Jeans Jrs., $59, zappos.com
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
KEVIN SWEENEY/STUDIO D. Fashion editor: Karen Larrain. Stylist: Amri Kibbler. (Runway) firstview.com.
BALMAIN
D&G
Looks
Uptown Rebel
Whether your fashion mood of the moment is feminine or tough, these showstopping ensembles will have everyone checking you out.
Classic Vixen
A deep halter dares him to undress you with his eyes; loose-fitting pants keep it (barely) PG.
Sweet Seductress
Cut the frilliness of a ruffled floral dress with a sleek cropped jacket and lace-up booties.
What do you get when you mix tweed with fierce motorcycle boots? Fashion fireworks.
STELLA MCCARTNEY
KEVIN SWEENEY/STUDIO D. Fashion editor: Karen Larrain. Stylist: Amri Kibbler. (Runway) firstview.com.
Jacket, BB Dakota, $100, dakota collective.com; shirt, American Apparel, $36, americanapparel.net; belt, Leather Island, $69.95, endless .com; skirt, Planet Blue, $118, shop planetblue.com
Pants, Banana Republic, $79.50, bananarepublic .com; belt, American Eagle Outfitters, $29.50, ae.com
Boots, Chinese Laundry, $129, chineselaundry .com Shoes, Schutz, $155, Mainly Shoes, 850-438-7114
See page 234 for shopping information.
CYNTHIA STEFFE
Jacket, Diesel, $160, diesel .com; dress, Johnny Martin, $49.99, getthatstyle.com
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fun fearlessfashion
$34
A whole wardrobe for the cost of a couple pairs of jeans? Oh, yes. Mix and match the latest essentials and youll always have something to wear.
$50
$44
$30
$24.50
$60
$54
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fun fearlessfashion
Eye Candy
A single in-demand accessory will take your outfit from ho-hum to Oh, wow! in seconds flat.
Gunmetal necklace, Blu Bijoux, $80, maxandchloe.com; flower bib necklace, Lydell NYC, $125, lydellnyc.com
Heavy-Metal Necklace
For instant chic, slip on this statement stunner with a simple solid-color tee.
Strappy Clutch
CAROLINA HERRERA
The new way to carry a small shoulder bag? In the palm of your hand. Pick one with a decorative leather or metallic strap.
THAKOON
LANVIN
Color-Splashed Heels
Rainbow hues are a superfun alternative to animal prints. Dare to wear them with other wild patterns.
Skinny Belts
For a fresh look, take two slim belts in contrasting materialslike metallic and patent leather and loop them through each other.
Belts, J.Crew, (top) $24.50, (bottom) $29.50, jcrew.com
Lucite Bangles
The light, clear shell balances out the tough chain-link. Pile on a few of them or mix with bracelets you already own.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
JESUS AYALA/STUDIO D. Fashion editor and stylist: Karen Larrain. (Runway) firstview.com.
CHANEL
fun fearlessfashion
Fresh Picks
Top, Johnny Martin, $34.99, getthatstyle.com
Springs floral craze may be sweetbut innocent? Not when applied to Cosmo-esque styles.
Taylor Swift
Jeans, Gerlan, $240, 212966-4066
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
JESUS AYALA/STUDIO D. Fashion editor: Karen Larrain. Stylist: Amri Kibbler. (Runway) firstview.com. (Swift) Ben Dome/pacificcoastnews.com.
beautyNEWS
Optical Illusion
Choosing a shadow based on your eye shape can give you a bigger, more gorgeous gaze. Consult this chart to discover the best one for you.
EYE SHAPE
(Illustrations) STUART MCKENZIE/EYECANDY.CO.UK. (Stills) CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D. (Hathaway, from left) Todd Williamson/WireImage; Disney Enterprises Inc. All Rights Reserved. (Miller) courtesy of Marion Curtis/Starpix.
The hot trends, tips, and stuff youve gotta try this month
CELEB LOOK
Oval
Round
EYE SHAPE
Almond
EYE SHAPE
IDEAL SHADOW
IDEAL SHADOW
IDEAL SHADOW
Pearlescent creams capture and reflect light, making narrow eyes appear bigger.
TRY
Liquids offer a sheer wash of color all your large, naturally flirty peepers really need.
TRY
A powder slides best into the upswept outer corners, where it stays put without creasing.
TRY
Anne Hathaway, who plays the White Queen in Alice in Wonderland (out this month), sports her characters crimson pout and dark arches offscreen too.To do it, apply a scarlet lipstick and a brown brow gel, says L.A. makeup artist Kate Lee.
Bling It On
(1) Este Lauder Re-Nutriv Ultimate Lifting Creme, $250: Crushed pearls give drab skin an instant glow. (2) OPI Nail Lacquer in DS Glow, $12.50: Diamond dust keeps nails supershiny. (3) LaRocca Shield Multi-Active Lip Balm, $18: Swipe on this gold-flecked, antimicrobial gloss postmake-out session.
37 YES 63% NO
We get it: Temporary tats dont serve much of a purposeexcept this one. Not only does it let you wear your inner badass on your sleeve (or wrist, as Marisa Miller demonstrates), but its also scented with the new Victorias Secret Love Rocks fragrance, $39. Even better: Its free at VS stores.
Go from dull to dazzling with luxe lightreflecting formulas enriched with gold, diamonds, and pearls.
1 2
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beauty HISPICKS
Seductive New Scents
Curious to know what guys think of the latest fragrances, we blindfolded a few and started spritzing. Heres what they fell for most.
Beyonc Heat Eau de Parfum,$49 Smells like: Honeysuckle, almond, macaroon, and musk Stud says: Definitely the sexiest of the bunch; it really screams sexpot! Nick, 27 Givenchy Ange ou Dmon Le Secret,$95 Smells like: Jasmine, white peony, and patchouli Stud says: The girl who wears this knows exactly what she wants. Ian, 28 SJP NYC,$35 Smells like: Strawberry, gardenia, vanilla, and sandalwood Stud says: This belongs on the girl next-door. She is sweet and innocent and never tries too hard. Egan, 26
(Couple) Nicola Majocchi/folio-id.com. (Stills) CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D. (Aniston) Jim Spellman/WireImage.
Man-Related Breakouts
Frustrated with acne that keeps popping up on one side of your face? The cause could be how you snuggle and snooze with your guy. Resting on his chest, arm, or shoulder transfers poreclogging sweat and oil to your skin, says NYC derm Heidi Waldorf. Use a salicylic-acid cleanser to deep-clean skin postcuddle.
ou Are Y Too Comfy Withyour grooming routinecan put the brakes when Him? Being super-laid-backat least it comes to
on sexy.Tally your score to find out if youre overly cozy.
WE ASKED
How long has it been since your last bikini wax or trim?
Add 1 point for each month
Do you routinely let him see you while wearing a shower cap, zit cream, or whitening strips?
Add 1 point for each yes
SCORING: 0 to 2 points:In his eyes, youre effortlessly gorgeous (way to keep him guessing). 3 or 4 points:Youve kept some maintenance a mystery. Now sweep the rest under the rug. 5 points or more: Warning:Youre nearing turn-off levels! Book a wax, get a zit-fighting body wash, and do upkeep on his boys night.
SOURCE: HELEN FISHER, PHD, AUTHOR OF WHY HIM? WHY HER?
the Street
Do you care if a girl styles her hair the same way every day?
100 Guys on
29% 71%
YES NO
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
beautyLOOT
Amazing Kisser
Hydrating collagen softens and fattens lips while you snooze.
, umper Lip Pl
Bye-Bye, Blotches
Loaded with soothing essential oils, this p.m. serum nixes redness.
$9.95
en PM Hans Sally
Wake Up Sexier!
Finger Food
Safflower-seed oil takes tips from ragged to cocktail-ring-ready.
These overnight sensations work while you sleep, leaving you with clearer skin, plumper lips, and healthier hair by the a.m.
Overnight Mask, $21
Moisture Fairy
This avocado-oil-infused mask creates silky, faciallike results by morning.
icks by
Nic s St
What Zit?
The potent powder form of salicylic acid can kill a blemish overnight.
CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Tress Transformer
Strands will absorb the strengthening ceramides instantly (no pillow stains!).
beautyLOOT
If Your Skin Is Fair
Shimmering pale pinks offer a soft I woke up this gorgeous glow.
40 k, $ Pin age in t
us rBl Dio
V h in
sh el Blu Rimm
Delicately Daring Swipe it all the way up cheekbones. The lace makes your skin look luminous.
Subtle Yet Sultry Brush this glistening hue on lids or use it as a highlighter across brow bones.
Royal Flush For a sexy aura, extend blush beyond cheeks to your nose, chin, and forehead.
Bombshell Appeal Get a bold burst of color on the apples of your cheeks by using a fluffy brush.
Go-Go Glamour Place color on lids only (dont go above the crease) for a peek of rich pink.
Privately P ink, $4
in Visionary
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n, ee Sh
$1 6. 50
w in Avon Eyeshado
$27 ile, Fut
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Showstopping Shine A single swipe offers loads of brilliance. A few layers create a sexy motherpucker.
49 $7. te, dia Ra
All Lacquered Up The specks of glitter capture light, making your pucker appear plumper.
C Lip
amin
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D.
Lip Colo ur in
n er i ssim Glo
Amped-Up Eyes Sweep a light layer across your lids, then apply it wet along upper lashes.
eE m c Lan
LA
in
LA
,$ 14 .50
beautyQ+A
Xvxry month, wx answxr bunch of your Every month, we answer a bunch of your burning beauty questions. burning bxauty quxstions. cool or cheesy Q Is itmismatch to your nails and toes? A
The look can work, but color coordination is key. Choose two hues in the same shade family, says Suzi Weiss-Fischmann, artistic director for OPI. To rock the purple trend thats so hot right now, paint a grapeish tone on toes and lavender on tips.
(Top) Nicole by OPI in Violet Vibe, $8; Essie in Lilacism, $8 Whats lingering under this gorgeous mane?
Use low-foaming shave gel to track your blades path. If you still see it on your legs, youll know you skipped a spot, says Diane Wood, master barber for King of Shaves. Follow up by running your hand along your skin to feel for spiky patches.
As long as theyre made with an anti-inflammatory, like green tea, which counteracts the wipes often irritating fibers, says NYC derm Neil Sadick. Try Bior Make-Up Removing Towelettes, $8.
After applying a no-budge waterproof pencil (like Rimmel Exaggerate Waterproof Eyeliner, $5.70), gently press it into skin with a stiff eyeliner brush to add staying power. Finish by dusting translucent powder on your under-eye area. This will prevent your skins oils from pulling down the pigment.
STEP 1
STEP 2
COSMOPOLITAN.COM/BEAUTYQA
(Top to bottom, from left) Steve Granitz/FilmMagic. CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D. KIM MYERS ROBERTSON. STUART MCKENZIE/EYECANDY.CO.UK.
Not if you wash your hair daily, says Neal Schultz, MD, founder of DermTV.com. In that case, you probably have mild dandruff (it doesnt cause flakes), which can be cleared up with a zinc-rich shampoo, like Head and Shoulders Smooth and Silky, $5. If youre not a regular sudser, oil and lingering product are probably to blame. Add a wash a week until you stop itching.
beauty CHEATSHEET
(Shakira) Jason Merritt/Getty Images. (Still) CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D. (Illustrations) STUART MCKENZIE/EYECANDY.CO.UK.
Try Shakira's nightout touch: Hide an elastic with a lock of your hair.
round brush, which will create volume at the roots and make strands supersmooth.
THE TECHNIQUE:
Frizz Fighter
Pat a drop of John Frieda Root Awakening Strength Restoring Smoothing Lotion, $6.49, over your finished style.
to remove any tangles, then comb your hair straight back so that you dont have a part.
a padgath1 Usebrush 2 Now tip 3 Whenhair is 4 Style your dle ered your head bangs back, and gather strands into a ponytail. Leaning creates volume plus prevents part lines and bumps. level with your eyes, secure it with an elastic band. Wrap it tight (shoot for three loops) so that the band doesnt sag and look sloppy.
dont slick them back into the ponytail. And let short layers hang naturally, rather than forcing them into the elastic. A wispy, piecey look is sexy.
three parts, and wrap each around a curling iron for 10 seconds. Gently brush out the curls for a bouncy, total bombshell effect.
What costs less than $20, takes about 15 minutes, and can make you fall in love with your mane? Every one of these supereasy, shade-livening tricks. And theyre foolproof for color virgins too.
By Kate Sandoval
for dark hair, while pink or orange pop on light strands. Place streaks randomly from midlength to the ends, says NYC colorist Jason Backe.
trap your body heat, which helps color penetrate. Rinse after 10 minutes, and follow up with conditioner.
h yo r dy curren ur hair to the e, t color compa swatc boxs re it to h the af , and A oneter on or twoe. sha (your g oal for de change the will be noticea se tips) not dra ble but stic.
Be a Bolder Brunet
Looking a little too mousy? Go nuts with this recipe: Add cup whole, unshelled walnuts to cup hot water, then mix in cup rubbing alcohol, says Naomi Knights, director of color education at ION Studio. Steep the mixture for 15 minutes to draw out the shells brown pigment, then pour the warm, tinted water over clean, damp hair. The heat swells the hair cuticles so the color gets in, says Knights. Rinse after 15 minutes.
Leona Lewis
Take a cue from celebs like Leona Lewis, who are darkening their underlayers slightly. Grab a box of semipermanent dye thats two shades deeper than your current hue (see Find the Right Shade, above). Clip up the top half of your hair (everything above your ears), and apply the mix to hanging strands only. The slight contrast gives dimension without looking skunky, says Clairol colorist Marcy Cona.
mel, and cinnamon reds more copper.) Choose a semipermanent dye labeled warm in a shade thats a notch lighter than your current color. Both Garnier HerbaShine Color Creme with Bamboo Extract, $7.99, and Clairol Natural Instincts, $7.99, lack ammonia, so they gently lift, sans stench, in 10 minutes. For the subtlest effect, apply the dye evenly throughout damp hair (the water slows the amount thats absorbed), then rinse after half the suggested time (which is five minutes for Garnier and Clairol dyes).
Lighten Up
You dont need to change your color completely to make a head-turning statement. Just give your hue a warmer, slightly lighter kick, suggests Backe. (Blonds will look more golden, brunets more cara-
Do It in the Shower
While a color-depositing shampoo cant do a color 180, it can add richness and nix brassy tones, says colorist Sean Davis. Amp up your hue with a wash that matches your current color (LOral Professionnel Colorist Collection, $17, offers 12 shades); to debrass, go for a violet tint, as purple cancels out orange. Apply to dry hair, then put on a shower cap to
Go Streaking
If you, like us, are totally addicted to Glee, then youve seen Tinas blue- and purpletipped hair. Play copycat with temporary hair paint that disappears in a wash (Streekers, $11, goes on easily with a lip glosslike wand). Tinas hue picks are perfect
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surrounding hairs and skin. Start with your hairline color should be brightest there, so the bleach needs to stay on longest, says Hazan. Keep tabs on the strands you bleached first to head off overprocessed streaks. Nicole Kidmanesque blush. Comb the yogurt through damp hair from roots to tips, then rinse after five minutes, says Knights. Youll be a strawberry sexpot for about a week, andbonus!the nourishing yogurt will soften your strands.
Remove Residue
A drab, dull cast all over is a sign you have ODd on styling products (buildup can make color appear gray) or partied too hard (hanging in a smokefilled bar can do the same thing). The solution: clarifying shampoo. Its extra surfactants (cleansing agents) act like magnets on all that residue. Or drop a tablespoon of baking soda into a quart of water, then pour on hair.
Ali Larter
COLOR GUARDS
The latest fadepreventing products will help your hue last weeks longer.
shampoos made for colortreated hair. One pick: Herbal Essences Color Me Happy 2-in-1 Shampoo and Conditioner, $2.99.
L Use only
cream, like Aveeno Smoothing Shine Crme, $7, seals your hairs cuticle so color molecules cant escape.
L A styling
like those in Garnier Fructis Color Shield Leave-In Conditioning Cream, $3.99, stop the sun from dulling your shade.
L UV filters,
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(Products) CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D. (Yogurt and comb) JEFFREY WESTBROOK/STUDIO D. Food stylist: Matt Vohr for Halley Resources. (Larter) Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage.
being a redhead superfierce. Women are requesting the shade as a way to stand out in the sea of blonds, says colorist Rick Wellman. Going red is easiest for blonds or light brunets (darker hair requires lifting, which should be left to the pros). Simply choose a semipermanent formula thats within two shades of your current color.
guywatch
Stud Meter
Check out which guys are getting sexier by the minuteand whos totally turning us off.
This sexy star adopted Kevin, a sick Chihuahua, and nursed him back to health. Cough, cough we need nursing too!
(Lutz) courtesy of subject. (Jay-Z) Larry Busacca/WireImage for American Express. (Smith) Michael Tran/FilmMagic. (Pattinson) Dave Hogan/Getty Images. (Rhymes) Johnny Nunez/WireImage. (Clooney) Graham Whitby Boot/Globe Photos. (OConnell) Benassi/splashnews.com. (Lopez) Neilson Barnard/Getty Images. (Hall) ST/splashnews.com.
Kellan Lutz
Theres nothing more studly than bringing your girlfriend and your mom to a premiere.
George Clooney
The hip-hop heavyweight and A-list actor are coproducing the Broadway show Fela!
We love that youre man enough to admit you like Miley Cyruss music.
Jerry OConnell
Robert Pattinson
Our R-Patz make-out fantasies cooled (just a little) after he called his hygiene disgusting.
Its great that you can go potty by yourself, but theres no need to demonstrate it to everyone.
Mario Lopez
Hes reportedly been ordered to pay $75k after throwing water bottles at a guy who left his concert.
Busta Rhymes
Police say the 80s star allegedly pushed and shoved his girlfriend during a fight. Good luck revitalizing your career after that heinous act.
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Awesome Aussies
Have you noticed how many hot up-and-comers are imports from down under? We didand just looking at them makes us want to slather on a Vegemite bikini. Yum!
Xavier Samuel
Taylor Lautner who? This sexy bloodsucker is the next heartthrob in the Twilight series.
Between Last Night and Clash of the Titans, hes currently all over the big screen.
Sam Worthington
Ryan Kwanten
Sookies bro is rarely seen with his shirt on in episodes of True Blood. No complaints here!
Liam Hemsworth
He presses these chiseled abs against Miley in The Last Song. Lucky girl.
Chris Hemsworth
After wowing us in Star Trek, wed wrestle crocs for a chance to get close to this cutie.
(Flag) Tetra Images RF/Getty Images. (Samuel) Will Ragozzino/Getty Images for Tribeca Film Festival. (Liam Hemsworth) Sinky/Macca/splashnews.com. (Kwanten) Amanda Edwards/Getty Images. (Worthington) Richie Buxo/splashnews.com. (Chris Hemsworth) Sharky/splashnews.com.
guywatch
Eddie Cibrian
Mark Sanford
David Letterman
We bet he thought Late Show staff meetings couldnt get any more awkward. He was wrong.
John Edwards
In this outfit, itll be hard for the well-coiffed ex-senator to convince anyone hes not Rielle Hunters baby daddy.
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(Heads, top to bottom from left) Landov; Dave Cannon/Getty Images; Davis Turner/Getty Images; AKM Images/splashnews.com; AP/Wide World. (Bodies, top to bottom, from left) fotosearch.com; Image Source/Getty Images; John Lund/Tiffany Schoepp/Blend Images/Corbis; Masterfile/radiusimages.com/Corbis; Image DJ RF/Getty Images. (All diapers) Dorling Kindersley/Getty Images. (Mug) CBS/Jeffrey R. Staab/Landov. (Golf club) Stockbyte Silver/Getty Images. (Backpack) PhotoDisc/Getty Images. (Frame) Image Source/Getty Images. (Rimes) Jason Merritt/Getty Images. (Hair dryer) istockphoto.com. Photos have been digitally altered.
These cheating bastards are guilty of such infantile behavior, we devised a punishment worthy of the crime: dressing them like the man-babies they are.
This getup could be the basis for Eddies next made-for-TV movie, Pampered Justice.
Love&Lust
EMMET MALMSTRM. Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Jamal Hodges at Creative Management. Makeup: Jordy Poon. Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. Bra: Blush. Pantie: Belabumbum. Earrings: Helen Ficalora.
Most guys are so thrilled when you touch their manatomy (in any way!) that theyre not about to start giving you specifics on how they like to be handled. And while its great that theyre appreciative, it can be hard to figure out where to focus your attention. A mans penis, and the area surrounding it, has certain spots that are packed with nerves, says Gloria Brame, PhD, a clinical sexologist in Georgia. Once you know those zones, you can master various stimulating techniques to make sex feel different for him each time intense one night, a slow build the next. To help guide you, we asked top sex experts to give us a road map for his private parts and suggest the sexiest ways to arouse him.
The T-Spot
Where it is: The tipfrom the
ridge upof his penis has about as many nerve endings as your clitoris. Translation: It is one supersensitive spot and will give him a major jolt of pleasure when touched. But like the clitoris, if you overstimulate the head of his penis, it can actually start to be painful, says Brame. Pleasure him there: Place one hand at the base of his shaft and the other right on the top half so that his entire penis (except the tip) is covered by your hands. Then flick your tonguequickly, like a snakesover the tip. Alternate between the flicking and lightly blowing on it. Your tongue gets him wet, and your breath provides a cooling effect that will be unexpectedly arousing. To surprise him with intense sensations during sex, climb on top, and dont take him all the way inside you at first. Instead, slide up and down only on the head of his penis. Next, move totally off him, then take in just that first inch or 2 of him again. The startstop combo with a focus on his most nervefilled spot will get him even harderexactly how you want him right before youre ready to go for the gold.
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2 3
The B-Spot
Where it is: The area where his shaft meets his body (the base) is a big erogenous zone, and manipulating it correctly can actually help him last longer. By gripping the base of his penis a certain way, you control blood flow and are able to make him hold off climaxing, says Brame. Its a spot that benefits him and you. That makes this an especially primo area to focus on if you want to take turns pleasing each otheryou can keep him in the game while you catch up until youre ready to orgasm together. Pleasure him there: Make a ring using your pointer finger and thumb, and place it around the base of his penis. With your other hand, start at the ring and pull up (medium pressure works best). When you reach the top, bring it back down to the ring youve made and start over. Keeping your fingers at the base blocks the blood flow in his shaft, making him stay aroused without climaxing. And the motion youre making with the other hand circulates the blood thats in the shaft, getting him as hard as possible. If you want to try orgasming together (or get as close as possible!) during sex, tell him to let you know when hes near the brink. If youre not there yet when he gives you the sign, reach between your bodies (this is easiest in missionary), and grab him so that your fist is touching the bottom of his penis. It mixes up the sensations enough that it helps him last longer. You can move your hand slightly up and down in motion with him so that it still feels sexy. When youre on the verge of release, take your hand away. Hell almost instantaneously climax, because suddenly, his whole member can enter you again.
The F-Spot
always be part of your down-there repertoire: the frenulumthe spot on the underside of his penis where the shaft meets the head (look for the tiny raised bit of skin). Thats where all the nerve fibers he feels on the head intersect, says Ava Cadell, PhD, a sex therapist in Los Angeles. And once that area has been stimulated, it continues to feel great even after youve moved elsewhere. Pleasure him there: Make a tight fist around the base of his penis, and slightly twist back and forth. At the same time, use the pad of your pointer finger, and roll it continuously over his frenulum. The rolling motion mimics the twisting youre doing down below, so youll be similarly fondling both ends of his package, driving him
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Simply touching the right area is likely to be enough to make him explode.
wild. During the deed, its even easier to tantalize the F-spot. The reason? The skin on his penis naturally moves back and forth when he moves inside you, says Joel Block, PhD, a sex therapist in New York, and positions that let him move a lot create the most friction in that area. So try doggie-style, and tell him to go really crazy with the pumping for a few seconds.
doing the same to that ridge is mind-blowing. When youre both warmed up, try cowgirl sex. While straddling him, reach behind you, and gently scratch the seam with one finger (use a come hither motion). If you save this move till the end, simply touching there is likely to be enough to make him explode.
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EMMET MALMSTRM
The R-Spot
Where it is: Its no secret that his boys are
extremely sensitiveyouve seen that knee-jerk reaction to take cover if theres any fast movement made toward them. But theres a frequently forgotten locale on his testicles thatll make him get tingly all over. The raphe is the seam that runs down the center of his scrotum, says Block. Unfortunately, while women know to spend some time on his testicles, they dont focus in on the raphe, which is very receptive to direct contact. Just beware, some guys find this spot too intense to be played with, so test it out first. Lightly touch him there for a few seconds. If he flinches, back off. Pleasure him there: Put your thumb and pointer finger in the position you do when youre trying to indicate something is small. Place your thumb on that sexy seam where it meets the base of his shaft and your pointer finger on the seam where it meets his backside. Gently squeeze so your fingers almost meet (in between his testicles), then release. Repeat a few times. Lots of guys love having their testicles lightly squeezed, so
The P-Spot
Where it is: The patch of skin between his
testicles and anusthe perineumis full of orgasmic potential. The skin there is thin, making the nerves more accessible, says Cadell. Touching his perineum while stimulating his penis makes for an erotic combination of sensations that most guys love. Plus, the perineum is located on top of his prostate (the male Gspot), so if you press hard enough, youll hit that ultrapleasing area, doubling the feel-good thrills. Pleasure him there: During oral, stop lavishing his shaft with your tongue, and bring your lips to this pleasure patch. Purse them together like youre going in for a kiss, but instead of a smooch, lightly suck on the skin. The suction mimics what you do on other parts of him and brings just enough blood flow to that area to make it tingle. The P-spot is also easy to access during missionary. Just reach between his legs, and press on it with your knuckle (if you use your fingertip, you risk scratching him). Try mixing up the pressure so that he doesnt get used to (or bored by) one feeling. As he nears the finish N line, push a little harder to give him a stronger O.
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Love&Lust
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
CHRIS CLINTON. Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Damian Monzillo using Davines Hair Care for Kate Ryan Inc. Makeup: Thora at Kate Ryan Inc. using Make Up For Ever. Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. (On her) top: Rebecca Taylor; necklaces: Emily & Ashley; ring: Helen Ficalora. (On him) shirt: Neil Barrett; jeans: Degaine.
Weve uncovered the secrets to being that coupleyou know, the been-togetherforever pair who are so connected, they make the Obamas relationship look tentative. Granted, you have to have the same values when it comes to things like kids and marriage, but there are other, more surprising factors at play. Many couples think staying tight requires magical soul-mate status, but in reality, the trick is to establish habits that strengthen your bond, says Yvonne Thomas, PhD, a psychologist in Los Angeles. We interviewed a team of relationship experts, including Thomas, and pinpointed exactly what those habits are. From the right way to make up after a fight to how often you talk about the future, using these strategies on a regular basis will keep your love going strong forever...or for as long as you want it to.
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the best in your guyand helping him to do the same. Were not suggesting that you ignore his mistakes or pretend hes being sweet when hes acting like an ass. Its more about reframing your view so you appreciate all the great things he has going for him. For example, if hes so devoted to his job that you feel like you two barely talk some nights, resist the urge to gripe. Instead, think about how much you respect his passion and ambition. If youre the one working overtime, remind him of how much he loves to brag about his ultra-accomplished girlfriend or wife. Besides squashing resentment, focusing on what draws you to each other will revive that gotta-have-younow lust you had in the beginning. When starting to date, all couples have an idealized take on each other, which leads to intense attraction, says Thomas. But after six months to a year, that often fades, and we tend to zero in on whats wrong with the other person. Its no surprise that fixating on faults can make you dissatisfied in the relationship. But simply keeping the good stuff in mind makes your union strong because youre always aware of how lucky you are to have such an amazing other half.
big, defuse his fury by saying I can understand why youd be mad. That cooperative, rather than combative, approach will help transform a fight into a conversation. And if one of you does fly off the handle (which is bound to happen every once in a while), do damage control as soon as possible. Make genuine repair attempts: Apologize, then laugh or touch him to cut the tension, says Gottman. These actions tell the other person that, no matter what you disagree about, youre still on the same team.
Having a few guilty pleasures in common helps love go the long hauland can set off sparks.
128 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010
man, PhD, cofounder of the Gottman Institute in Seattle. On the flip side, if you confront problems head-on and in a way that conveys respect, you can actually get closer during a fight. Research shows that the most successful couples use something called the soft start-up when they argue, says Gottman. The soft start-up works like this: Say your guy suddenly bailed on meeting you and your friends for dinner one night. Instead of blurting out Youre a total douche bag for not showing up! go with Hey, what happened? I was upset that you canceled like that. Or if youre the one who screwed up
State University of New York at Buffalo study found that couples who mirrored each others levels of drinking and smoking stayed close as time went by, while abstainers paired with smokers and/or drinkers eventually split. Booze and cigarettes aside, having harmless guilty pleasures in common also helps your love go the long haul. Not only does a mutual obsession with bad reality TV or Texas Hold Em poker give you something fun to do together, but it can also set off sparks. If you can both be a little reckless in certain areas of your lifebut within
ing for reasons to be naked and horizontal. But after a while, your true bedroom personalities begin to reveal themselves...and it becomes even more crucial that you stay aware of what the other person craves. There are two basic sexual types: thrill seekers and comfort seekers, says sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First. Thrill seekers crave novelty; they get bored easily and are always looking for ways to amp up things. Comfort seekers, on the other hand, may like getting busy a lot and could be turned on by some out-
ment, tell him to create a sexual wish list that he can update anytimethen pick the ones that youre turned on by too and give him a thrill.
When we first moved into our new apartment, we didnt have a table for a couple of weeks. So my boyfriend and I would put a blanket on the floor and have nightly picnics. We have a table now, but we still like to set up picnics in the living room, complete with takeout sandwiches and a bottle of our favorite wine. Its sort of a reminder of how far weve come. Felicia, 28
We live in different cities, so weve developed this thing where we will book a hotel room and have a staycation in either Baltimore, where he lives, or New York, where I live. No roommates, no family membersjust me, him, and some serious quality time. Jessica, 23 My husband and I play Iron Chef once a month. We pick a new theme
each time, then create meals centered around it. The competition heats us both up. Holly, 31 Every Friday night, we get cozy in our sweats and watch all the TV shows we DVRed from that past week. Its our downtime when we really get to enjoy each other one-on-one and relax after the stresses from the week.
Michelle, 25
My boyfriend and I have crazy schedules and dont always have time to talk during the day. So we came up with the idea of texting each other once every morning and then once at night before we go to sleep on the nights we spend apart. It lets us know were thinking of each other and were part of each others lives.
Emily, 22
boundaries you each find appropriateit can feel exciting, like you have a partner in crime, says Thomas. So go ahead and be bad togetherjust make sure you dont end up cuddling in the back of a police cruiser.
there things, but the routine is key, explains Kerner. Whatever they like, they want to stick with; they dont have that drive thrill seekers have to constantly test out new scenarios. If you both happen to be the same type, keeping each other satisfied will come more naturally. But if you and your guy are opposites, it can still workas long as you make communicating about sex a habit, says Kerner. For example, if your thrill-seeking side has you dreaming up hot role-play scenarios, ask your comfort-loving guy if hed be willing to keep his suit on during sex or get it on front of a window. Or if hes the one who digs excite-
Partners who last arent static, says Thomas. They continually reveal different facets of themselves. It can be as simple as doing novel activities together, like trying Korean food or the opera just for the hell of iteven if you both hate it, youll still learn something new about each other. You also can ask questions about your pasts or what youd like to do in the future. Doing so will keep that exciting first stage of a relationshipwhen youre slowly peeling away layers of who you both arealive and ongoing, says Gottman. That perpetual newness is the drug that will keep you high on N each other foreverand ever.
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CHRIS CLINTON
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Bedtime Stories
When my long-distance love first initiated phone sex, I would clam up because I didnt really know how to talk dirty. To make it easier, I bought a book of erotic short stories and would read them to him over the phone. Eventually, I became comfortable enough to sex him up telephonically Greta, 30 without the literature.
Kissing Clinic
My husband is a really soft, gentle kisser. But I crave being kissed hard and with urgencylike hes been waiting all day just to lay one on me. So I purposely rented movies that showed couples making out like mad and then moaned things like Oh, my God look at the way hes kissing her. That makes my thighs melt! It took a few weeks for the message to sink in, but he finally started putting some passion Alice, 34 and pressure into it.
Theres a time and place for being direct, yet with some bedroom glitches, creativity can help you avoid a lot of awkwardness. These chicks show you how.
BY LAURA LEU
Film Buff
My guy kept telling me he wanted to videotape one of our sexcapades, but I wasnt exactly keen on the idea of a sex tape falling into the wrong hands if we ever broke up. Instead, I took the full-length mirror out of my closet and placed it right next to the bed so we could watch ourselves when we had sex. It satisfied his desire, and I never had to worry about the possibility of seeing myself naked on the Internet.
Liz, 30
Mr. Roboto
My boyfriend would go through the exact same routine every time we had sex: Kiss me for five minutes, take off
my top, kiss my boobs, take off my undies, go down on me, do missionary, and then do doggie-style. It was Hairy Situation like having sex with a robot. So I I was horrified by my boyfriends lack deprogrammed him by subtly taking of down-there groomingI felt like I control without his realizing I was needed a weed whacker just to find his doing it. If he was performing oral, Id junk. I didnt want to hurt his feelings push him on his back and wed 69. If by telling him how turned off I was, so I invited him into the he was doing me from shower with me, behind, Id flip on my BORN FAST? handed him a razor, and side so hed have no Premature ejaculatold him he could do choice but to switch tion is considered a psychological whatever he wanted to positions. I must have problem, but me. Afterward, I told gone through a hunrecent studies link him it was my turn. I dred Cosmo sex tips, it to testosterone, hinting it could be trimmed him down and but it eventually broke physical. oohed and aahed about him out of his routine. SOURCE: JOURNAL OF SEXUAL MEDICINE Cassie, 30 how good it looked, and
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ROBERT WHITMAN. Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Conrad Dornan for Shu Uemura, Art of Hair. Makeup: Thora at Kate Ryan Inc. for Make Up For Ever. Manicure: Deana Blackwell at Mark Edward Inc. Bra: H&M. Names of readers who share stories and of those mentioned in the stories have been changed to protect their privacy. Stories may have been edited for length, content, and clarity.
Love&Lust
then to drive home the point, I went down on him right there. Hes kept it groomed ever since! Roxy, 26
Give him the right hint and hell catch on quick.
Vocal Coaching
A new guy I started dating was superquiet in bed. I was lucky to get a moan or two, and sometimes, I even had to ask him if he had come. So to get him to pipe up, I thrust myself against him really hard when he did make noise and said, Hearing you moan gets me so turned on. That led to more noise, which led to more positive reinforcement, until he became so vocal, his neighbors probably noticed the change. Fanny, 26
greater detail. I like spanking became I like to be spanked a few times when Im close to orgasm. That Ann, 29 totally worked.
Wigging Out
I dated a guy who was into fantasy role-playing, but I felt silly wearing anything as elaborate as a costume. I would, however, wear wigs, which helped me get into character without it being too weirdin fact, I felt totally uninhibited. I found out that all you need is a new hairdo and a slightly modified accent to transform into a different personno ridiculous getLydia, 32 up required.
We dont care if he looks like Brad Pitt and sounds like Russell Crowethis bizarre behavior is a deal breaker.
L He hates it when you talk to
him during sex but encourages you to speak to his penisas long as you address it as Kensington P. Wigglesworth III.
Happy Hour
My husband is a total morning person, and Im much more of a night owl. So when I want to get busy at night, hes too tired, and when he paws at me in the morning, I feel too sleepy. I figured out the best way to work around our off-schedules is to jump him shortly after he gets home from work. He still gets some morning actionbut only on the weekends.
Katie, 29
Condom Conundrum
Condoms have always been a boner killer for my boyfriend: He goes limp whenever he puts one on. So I fixed that problem by putting the condom on for himwith my mouth.
Jen, 30
Repeat Offender
Whenever I told my boyfriend about something I liked in bed, it would become his sole focus. When I mentioned that I like being spanked, he smacked my butt so many times during foreplay and sex that it hurt for a couple of days. So I decided to start explaining what turns me on in much
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Love&Lust
Hope, 21
SAPPY ENDINGS
A recession cant curb the need for a goopy read: Sales of romance novels went up 8% in the fourth quarter of 09 compared to the same time last year.
SOURCE: HARLEQUIN ENTERPRISES
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Its safe to say that most guys have an allergy to all things romantic: Were talking flowers, candles, poetry, and other items that symbolize the goopy side of love. But theres a small percentage who get really into the stuff. When we asked Cosmo readers to tell us the most sap-orific move their man ever made, we got lots of responses stories that were so funny and over-the-top, they sent our mush meter into hyperdrive. Check them out.
joked that I was going to miss it more than anything else about our trip. He really took my comment to heart. When Christmas came around, he giddily handed me my present: two of the robes from the hotel, one for him, one for me. I was so happy until I saw that hed had our pet name for each other, Muffin, stitched on the back of each robe. As if that werent cheesy enough, my robe read Muffin Girl, and his read Muffin Man. He was so proud of his gift, I didnt have the heart to tell him that I doubted Id ever Cait, 32 wear it.
senior year, my whole family drove up for it, but my boyfriend said he had too much work and couldnt make it. I was so upset, I hung up on him when he told me. Fast-forward to after the show, during a reception in the theater lobby. I was mingling with my family and friends when we heard this loud, dramatic music. There in a corner was my guy with a tape player, wearing a pink tutu over his jeans, doing this hilarious ballerina dance. He told me he felt so bad for bailing that he wanted to make it up to me. Im not sure how making a total fool of himself accomplished that, but still, it was the most ridiculous thing anyones ever done for me, so I forgave him. Ali, 25
and then he cut it out and framed it. It was a nice gesture, but that thing was so over-the-top, it went right to the back of my Mina, 25 closet.
Tear-Jerking Journal
My high-school boyfriend and I had been dating for a year when I went on a weeklong vacation to Mexico. I didnt have phone service there, so I went all week without talking to him. When I got home, he presented me with a 20-page journal hed kept in my absence. In way too much detail, hed written about how much he missed me. It was just so cringeworthy, I feel like vomiting whenever I remember it.
Boyfriend in a Box
One summer, my family and I took a 10-day vacation. When we came home, we saw a banner on our garage that read Welcome Home. Then we saw a huge box on the porch. I had a feeling my boyfriend was probably inside, andsurprise, surpriseafter my sister and I shifted it around a bit, we found him crouched down, drenched in sweat, holding a bouquet of roses, balloons, and a grilled-cheese sandwichin case he got hungry while he was waiting, he later said. My family teases me about it to this day.
Kelly, 30
They should sell these in the dairy section, right next to the Velveeta.
Personalized M&Ms Put your and your guys faces on these made-toorder candies and watch everyone go into diabetic shock due to an overdose of saccharine sweetness. Heart and Arrow Necklace Its supposed to symbolize his piercing your heart with love. Barf bag, please. Love-Gun Catapult Never seen one of these craptastic cupid-shooting abominations? Google it and consider yourself lucky. Personalized Pillowcase A pillowcase with your names embroidered on it means even when you arent sleeping together, you are. Ew. Giant Flower Nothing says I love you so much, Ive lost all my selfrespect quite like a 4-foot-tall rose. Message in a Bottle Dont worry if you dont know what to say; unless youve written your note on a hundreddollar bill, no one will bother extracting it.
them. I scrubbed for days and still couldnt get rid of Jozefina, 30 everything.
Say Cheese
While my guy and I were on a hike, we asked someone to take a photo of us at the top of the trail. It was my favorite pic of us, so for our one-year anniversary, he thought it would be sweet to sketch it for me. Well, he isnt exactly an artist, and I liked the photo. I had to act like I loved it because hed spent a ton of time on it, but it was too over-the-top. Rachel, 19 N
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Love&Lust
N If youre hungry, forgo
ordering a pizza and instead break out red wine and cheese. It will
BONDING BONUS
Connecting with another person boosts the level of the hormone progesterone, reducing stress.
SOURCE: UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN STUDY
continue the sensual vibe you had going, and the antioxidants in the vino will increase blood flow, relaxing both of you.
your hands on his chest. It will keep you connected without doing the spooning thing.
N One word: candles. Light a few after you hook up (instead of before) and the mood will instantly feel more romantic. N Play hooky and call in sexer, sick after your romp. Having to leave ASAP, whether its to meet a friend for brunch or attend your cantmiss Spin class, is a total mood killer. Reschedule your plans, and enjoy a leisurely hour or two of doing nothing together in bed. N Set your iPod to a romantic playlist. Choose
tunes that remind you of your favorite moments together (like a concert you went to). Just listening to them will make you two feel closer without having to speak.
It turns out that postaction not beforeis actually prime bonding time. Our strategies help you ride the warm, fuzzy high.
BY MINA AZODI
Take a moment to think about what you and your guy usually do after sex. Chances are, its sleep, eat, or flip on the TV. Not exactly romantic, especially considering that the few hours afterward are one of the best times to bond. When you orgasm, hormones are released that make you feel more connected, says clinical sexologist Rachael Ross, MD, PhD. Take advantage of that by doing things to prolong the feeling. But that doesnt mean intense conversations or eye gazinglittle gestures can reap big benefits. Try these tips tonight.
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What if we told you theres a 70 Describe Mr. Right percent chance that someone in When it comes to your love life, your social circle already knows your being a little pushy can be a good future husband? Youd no doubt start thing. You have to let your friends scanning the crowd at your buds b-day know that youre looking and also bashes more carefully. Well, keep your what kind of guy youre looking for, eyes peeled, because a study of mar- says psychologist and dating coach ried couples showed exactly that: 7 out Barbara Cox, PhD, who points out a of 10 reported having met through bonus: Verbalizing your desires mutual acquaintances. actually helps you form a firmer idea Because we tend to associate with of what you want. people who are similar to us, we end But no matter how detailed you are up having things in common with when you describe your ideal guy, even friends of friends of friends, your friends still wont have perfect says James Fowler, PhD, who cites Mr. Right radars for you. So if a pal the study in his book Connected: The insists theres no way you could posSurprising Power of Our Social Net- sibly be interested in any of the dozworks and How They Shape Our ens of single guys she plays softball Lives. Thats why sparks are so likely with on the weekends, dont take her to fly when youre chatting with a cute word for it, says Evan Marc Katz, guy to whom you are coauthor of Why Youre socially linked. Still Single. Offer to be BY THE NUMBERS Of course, knowing her teams biggest fan, If you have 20 pals that the love of your and check them out for and they each have life is just a few introyourself. Dont be shy 20 friends and they each have 20 ductions away wont about putting yourself friends, thats 8,000 help you actually meet in a position to meet people. One of them is likely to be him. You have to get friends of friends, even your future spouse. out there and mingle. if it seems awkward at SOURCE: JAMES FOWLER, PHD Heres how. first, Katz advises.
Stick to Groups
Big group outings are the best way to literally bump into guys at the edge of your social circle. If you dont get along with a guy, theres no pressure to keep talking to him, Cox says. And if youre out doing something you enjoy (bowling, bar trivia, a dinner party), youre more likely to be relaxed, charming, and at your best. Another great idea: Throw a party, and ask every friend to bring a single person of the opposite sex. At worst, youll end up with a few more friends and you know what that means: The more new friends you make, the more eligible guys you meet, says professional matchmaker Janis Spindel, author of How to Date Men.
Get Online
Facebook gives you easy access to that pool of people in which so many singles find a partner, Fowler says. Shamelessly browse for hot guys in friends photos. If you find one, ask that friend if hes cool and if its okay to contact him. Yes on both counts? Tell the hottie your mutual pal thought you should N get to know each other ASAP.
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Love&Lust
HIS GO-TO TEXTS: A few words that communicate nada but make you feel obligated to respond. Common examples: hey, whats up? talk to me. TRANSLATION: This guy wants you to know he is thinking about you and is craving reassurance that hes on your mind too. YOUR MOVE: His ego needs a little stroking, so try whats up, sexy? to boost his mojo while matching his mellow approach.
HIS GO-TO TEXTS: Loaded questions like what are you up to tonight? and you made plans with the girls this weekend, right? TRANSLATION: He wants to feel out your response before putting his neck on the line. YOUR MOVE: Play coy. Try what do you have in mind? to make him tell you what he wants.
HIS GO-TO TEXTS: A string of characters that are even more maddening because you can almost figure them out. Along the lines of last nit u tuk it 2 krzy or : \ ? TRANSLATION: He feels like the two of you can practically read each others minds, which is why he doesnt translate his thoughts into English. YOUR MOVE: Let him know you are still on the same wavelength (but have no clue what that meant) with a flirty are you texting drunk again? Call me. xo.
HIS GO-TO TEXTS: Stupid movie quotes, like night is a very dark time for me (Blades of Glory) or break yoself fool (Superbad) TRANSLATION: Guys compete with one another to memorize the most lines from their favorite movies. When he types one to you, its an attempt at flirting. Hes trying to show you how funny he is (or thinks he is). YOUR MOVE: Besides impressing you, he wants to see if youre savvy enough to know what hes referencing. So Google the quote he sent to find out where its from, then shoot one back. No time? Just send i love lamp (Anchorman).
SOURCES: DEBRA GOLDSTEIN AND OLIVIA BANIUSZEWICZ, COAUTHORS OF FLIRTEXTING; KRISTINA GRISH, AUTHOR OF THE JOY OF TEXT; LES PARROTT, PHD, COAUTHOR OF L.O.V.E.
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Mark Wallis/Alamy
HIS GO-TO TEXTS: Anything but a straight-up yes or no: sounds like an option or maybe TRANSLATION: He has zero interest in trying to come up with plans for the two of you or even attempting to make a decision. YOUR MOVE: Dont let the fact that he wont give you an answer stop you from moving forward or getting what you want. Write back ok, give me a call or Ill just decide.
Love&Lust
Ive been dating a guy for several months. It was clear that we werent seeing other people or so I thought, because I just discovered that he slept with someone else. He claims it wasnt cheating because we arent in a relationship, but I dont agree. What do you think?
wishes you were a porn star. Guys generally watch dirty movies to fantasize and experience sexual variety, even if it is just in their heads. So no matter how great your sex life is, hell still be compelled to spend some alone time at awesomeracks .com. Why get mad and force him to lie about it? I want to commend you for being so open to trying new things in bed. But for your husband, sex with you and sex with himself are two completely different things. Havent you ever thought of someone else when youre on your own?
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I think you gave him a free pass to fool around with other chicks. You never actually talked about being a committed couple, so he was able to justify doing whatever he wantedafter all, hed never agreed that you were together. Is that sleazy? Of course. Its like a murderer getting off on a technicality. But becoming monogamous is a milestone, and you cant just assume youve reached it without having a talk. Good luck working it out.
QUESTION: I recently broke up with my boyfriend of six years, and since then, my relationships with my platonic guy friends have changed. Theyre all flirting with me a lot more, and a couple have flat-out suggested that we hook up. I want to keep my friends, not have flings. But if they started behaving like this the minute I became single, were they ever really my friends to begin with? ANSWER: Six years would be an awfully long time
to hang around if theyd only wanted to do you. (Talk about blue balls.) I think their behavior actually proves that theyre good friends: They found you attractive before you were single, yet they didnt make a move because you had a boyfriend. Look, guys can be extremely shortsighted when it comes to sex. They dont necessarily think ahead enough to realize that if you slept together, it would at least alter and possibly damage a friendship that they value. All theyre able to process is that a cool, hot chick is suddenly single after being off-limits for years. You can send a clear message that youre not interested in hooking up as long as youre careful of their feelings. Next time one of them tries to put the tonic in platonic, just tell him something like
Dude, that is not happening. Try your best to shrug it off and even laugh about it...and avoid saying anything about how you see him more like a friend or brother. That way, his ego wont be bruised and youll keep your dude friend.
QUESTION: A few months ago, I caught my husband looking at porn on our computer. It bothered me, but I decided to deal with it by watching what hed been watching and then mimicking it in bed. Last week, however, I discovered that hes still looking at that kind of porn! Why, when Im doing (almost) everything that those women do, does he still need to do that? ANSWER: Hes not watching porn because he
As our wedding planning has intensified, my fiancs sex drive has plunged. Whats the deal?
About the only reason to be concerned about his porn intake would be if it appeared to be taking the place of his having sex with you. But right now, it sounds like hes just being a normal guy. So keep being open-minded about sex, and offer to watch porn with him if you feel like it. But try not to get upset about his doing it alone. finally, look at the reduced amount of sex right now as an IOU that youll cash in on your honeymoon.
QUESTION: My boyfriend and I got engaged a couple of months ago, and Ive noticed that as our wedding planning has gotten more intense, his sex drive has gone down. Im doing most of the work, so I feel like I should be the one stressed out and not in the mood. Hes not getting cold feet in any other way, so whats the deal? ANSWER: Most engaged guys are way
more fearful of the wedding than they are of being married, in part because planning is a gigantic effort that they typically have next to no control over. And dudes arent real fond of being totally out of control. For instance, your fianc may say he doesnt care about the flowers, and he probably doesnt, but its easy for a guy to see how consumed you and others are with decisions like that and then start feeling like hes the least important thing in his own wedding. Plus, even if hes not paying a dime for the ceremony, he may still be uneasy with how much its costing someonelike his future in-laws. Ask your guy to be more involved in the planning and see how he reacts. He might appreciate the gesture. Make sure he knows how much youre looking forward to being his wife, not how much youre looking forward to being a bride. And
P QUESTION: After a wild OOKU night out with friends, H HELP I went home with a guy Id just metsomething Id never done before. The next morning, I woke up mortified, but he ended up being supernice and putting me at ease. And after chatting, we exchanged numbers. Thing is, he hasnt called. Im worried that hes writing me off as a slut. Should I let him know how out of character that was for me? ANSWER: Welcome to the wonderful
world of hooking up with strangers! Sometimes, nights like that turn into something more, but one reason theyre called one-night stands is because making them anything more is so potentially awkward...and in many cases, unappealing. I have no clue why he hasnt called. He could have a girlfriend, he could be very busy, he could be uninterested, or yes, he could have written you off. Or it may be that he assumes its impossible to take things from hammered hookup to first-ish date. But hell, if you really felt a connection with him, then I say contact him. Just dont say anything about it having been out of characterhe doesnt care. Instead, send him a text explaining that you had a lot of fun both that night and the next morning and youd be up for seeing him again. He may agree and get in touchor he may never respond. Regardless, you gave it your best shot, and you treated yourself to a brand-new experience. N
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Have you ever signed on for something you didnt think youd be crazy about and then discovered that, in fact, it was for you? Maybe a friend set you up with a guy who wasnt your type and now youre in love or a coworker talked youthe queen of takeoutinto going to her cooking class and you loved it. Youre even thinking of working in a restaurant. Its weird how that happens...but whats even weirder is that someone else knew what was a good fit for you all along. Were so wrapped up in ourselves that its hard to get a clear view of who we are in certain respects, explains Sam Gosling, PhD, author of Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You. Others can step back more easily. They see the big picture, since they dont have as much of a stake in the outcome as you do and they arent distracted by the internal emotions that can bog you down, says Allen McConnell, Lewis endowed professor of psychology at Miami University, in Ohio. All this potentially life-altering info is out thereyour hidden assets and weaknesses, underutilized talents, subconscious standards for your dream guy. The techniques here will help you uncover what people around you could tell you, if you only knew how to ask.
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Your innate strengths and weaknesses have likely been there all along, so your first move should be to look backward and see what people have said about you in the past. Open up your high school yearbook, and read over the messages friends wrote you.
What memories did they have of you? Which traits of yours did they comment on? It can also help to skim through old Facebook posts. Pay close attention to any adjectives used to describe you. Funny, stylish, wildall these point to prominent qualities friends saw in you, the things that really stuck out about you. That information is golden.
EMMET MALMSTRM. Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Jamal Hodges at Creative Management. Makeup: Jordy Poon. Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. (From left) tank top: Nation; halter top: Bebe; T-shirt: Alternative Apparel.
We are often in the dark about what our strengths and weaknesses are when we are growing up because were simply not aware that theres any other way to be, Gosling explains. For example, you might be a very talented writer, but since writing comes so naturally to you, you might not realize that youre more skilled than other people are. You assume everyone writes like you do. Use peoples memories too. A great trick: Ask some of your close friends or family members to tell you their favorite story about you. They might bring up moments youd forgotten about or remember the details differently than you do, and both will clue you in to what they think is essentially you, says Simine Vazire, PhD, director of the Personality and Self-Knowledge Lab at Washington University, in Saint Louis. For example, maybe your mom remembers how you insisted on tying your shoes by yourself with no help when you were a little kida sign of how independent and ambitious you were from the very start. Or your husband might bring up how on your first date with him, you gave the bartender specific instructions about how to prepare your dirty martini and he liked that you were take-charge rather than passive and knew exactly what you wanted.
If a person says something about you that takes you aback or doesnt jibe with how you think of yourself, dont get pissed about itget curious. We each have an idea of who we are and who we want to be, Gosling says. While this is
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essential to help guide us toward our goals, it can also close us down to other options that dont fit in with the picture weve created. That naturally occurring tunnel vision can lead you to gloss over observations that contradict the vision you have of yourself. But if you dont look outside the tunnel, you might miss out on some incredible opportunities. So the next time a comment someone makes surprises you, probe the person for more details about her statement. Say a friend mentions that she thinks youd be a great match with an artsy guy she knows, even though you usually go for the sporty type. Ask her why she believes you would be a good fit. She is probably picking up on a vibe that you dont notice youre giving off, Vazire points out. It might be the case that a more freespirited, sensitive dude would actually be a better complement to you than the frat-tastic guys youve been dating up until now. Pay attention, too, when theres a mismatch in how you and another
person feel about something thats happening in your life. If youre telling a friend how excited you are about your plan to move to the West Coast, but her facial expression or tone of voice seems a bit doubtful or even worried, thats a sign she might have a different point of view, McConnell warns. While she might not necessarily know whats best for youand its definitely crucial to listen to your gut first and foremosther reaction is a piece of information suggesting you might want to evaluate more carefully whether this is indeed the right decision.
One reason its so tricky to figure out how others see you is that theyre often too polite to give you straightforward feedback. People probably wont tell you the whole truth if you ask them flat-out what they think your best and worst traits are or whether they think youre on the right career path, Vazire says.
Theyll tell you what they think you want to hear. So you have to find a clever way to get at their honest opinions. The key is to casually ask friends and family members offbeat questions that will reveal who they believe you really are without their feeling that theyre dissecting your personality. A few to try: Who do you think should play me in a movie? Which celebrity could you most see me dating? What song reminds you of me? Bring up the question nonchalantly, maybe over drinks after work, as though its a funny thing that just popped into your head. Another way to go about it is to float trial balloons by pals when youre considering making a change and gauge their responses. Im thinking of switching my major to forensic science/joining an improv group/going on safari for my honeymoon. Are you surprised? Its a neutral question, so they should answer honestly. Or engage their imaginations by asking if they could picture you
Its tricky to be objective about your love life. Take a step back by looking at photos as if youre one of your friends viewing you. Consider how close you appear: if you look like youre really into each other or if theres a sense of ambivalence.
NOTICE WHAT YOU EDIT OUT. The details
Maybe youre afraid itll sound bad, but its key to look at these when assessing your bond.
COMPARE YOURSELF TO THE JONESES. Your
you omit when talking to others about your man point to potential red flags. Havent had sex in a month? Arguing more?
friends see you juxtaposed with other twosomes, so think about how you and your man differ from couples you know: Do you make more or less physical contact? Do you smile and laugh as much as they do?
DECODE YOUR OWN BODY LANGUAGE. One
your relationship so well is that they observe how you interact physically. You can do the same. Signs youre solid: Your feet turn toward his; you use a tight grip when holding hands; you mirror each others movements.
CHECK OUT OLD E-MAILS. Another thing
friends observe is how you communicate whether your dialogue is natural and fun or strained. Get a sense of it by going through past e-mails and G-chats.
SOURCE: SIMINE VAZIRE, PHD
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{
EMMET MALMSTRM. Necklace: Forever 21; jeans: Levis.
Yo u d o n t always have to solicit big statements to get great feedback, though. Stay attuned to some seemingly insignificant clues that can pop up at random times. For instance, look out for loaded wordssuperlatives like always and never. Whenever someone uses emphatic language while talking about you, it sheds light on a strong personality trait they see in you, Vazire notes. Also, watch for patterns in how people describe you. If your boy-
friend mentions that youre a great public speaker after seeing you give a toast at your sisters wedding, thats certainly nice to know. But if your boyfriend, aunt, and an acquaintance you just met five minutes ago all tell you the same exact thing, then you should listen a little more carefully. It can be helpful to think about the role you play in peoples lives as well, Vazire adds. Are you the one friends call when theyre having a crisis or the one who finds out about the drama after its already resolved? Does your boss ever ask you to spearhead a last-minute project or is a coworker usually put in charge?
Assessing what people turn to you for versus what they cut you out of says something about your talents (like that youre a good listener or coolheaded under pressure) and things that you need to work on (being more empathetic, juggling multiple tasks). Just remember to be open to what you discover about yourself, and dont freak out if some of the secrets that you uncover are negative. Because in the end, having a fuller picture of the real youboth the good and the bad stuffwill guide you toward your most perfect job, the greatest guy for you, N and your most kick-ass life.
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1. Ace a Meeting
Project corner-office confidence.
NOEL J. FEDERIZO. Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Jennifer Brent for Kerastase at Kramer + Kramer. Makeup: Jenni Shaw for Creative Management, NYC. Manicure: Deanna Blackwell for Mark Edward Inc. Shirt: Theory; skirt: DKNY Jeans; shoes: Steve Madden; necklace: Soo Ihn Kim; watch: Cartier.
appear more engaged and on top of things. Then hold something that you know he likes in the hand nearest to himmaybe the type of coffee he drinks or the brand of pen he uses. This psychological device prompts him to associate the two of you in his mind, which makes him subconsciously more likely to agree with what youre saying.
favor, gesture with one palm up, a technique police officers use during questioning to persuade a person to do as they ask. Then touch your hand over your heart as you finish the request, signaling a heartfelt appeal. To seal the deal, pause for a few seconds before you say the key word, such as I know were all busy, but can you [pause] work my shift? That brief silence subtly frames it as a subliminal command, prompting her to say yes.
HOW TO DO IT: Continue to look at what youre doing as shes talking, and do a gesture known as the handgun steeple (you interlace all your fingers, except for your pointers, which form the barrel of the gun). Rest the barrel against your lips, signaling that you dont want to speak. If she doesnt get it, aim it at her as you say something neutral, such as Ive got so much work to do.
4 5
your supervisor from freaking by standing 2 feet to one side of him when you confess. This is a nonconfrontational stance that triggers him subconsciously to want to get past your screwup. Emphasize the point by saying, Going forward, this will not happen again.
HOW TO DO IT: Address her straight on (tilting your head suggests youre looking for approval), and lift your chin about 2 inches. Youll exude confidence since youre literally looking down your nose. Use a dismissive, palm-down hand gesture to show that you are the one in control and arent buying her BS.
(it will immediately make him feel more connected to you). Sit on the first third of your seat, which makes you
ACE A MEETING
HOW TO DO IT: Choose a seat close to your boss
HOW TO DO IT: As youre talking, lay your arm across her desk. You want to take up space in her territory. Touching her turf asserts you as the alpha coworker and conveys that you canand willget what you want. N
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IS HE HIDING SOMETHING?
He looks up when he answers a simple question, like How was the movie last night? You get on the computer after him and notice that the history is cleared. He used to be all about morning sex, and now he only wants it at night. You two pretty much never get into ghts. He gets all TMI when you ask him about his day. When hes telling you something, he touches his face a lot, especially the area around his mouth.
SOURCES: PETER ANDERSEN, PHD, AUTHOR OF THE COMPLETE IDIOTS GUIDE TO BODY LANGUAGE; ELLYN BADER, PHD, COAUTHOR OF TELL ME NO LIES; SUSAN SHAPIRO BARASH, AUTHOR OF TOXIC FRIENDS; JOEL BLOCK, PHD, COAUTHOR OF THE REAL REASONS MEN COMMIT; HARVEY BROOKER, PRESIDENT AND FOUNDER OF HARVEY BROOKERS WEIGHT-LOSS PROGRAM FOR MEN; JEAN CHATZKY, FINANCIAL EDITOR FOR TODAY AND AUTHOR OF THE DIFFERENCE; CHERYL DELLASEGA, PHD, AUTHOR OF MEAN GIRLS GROWN UP; DAVID GIVENS, PHD, AUTHOR OF LOVE SIGNALS; SAM GOSLING, PHD, AUTHOR OF SNOOP: WHAT YOUR STUFF SAYS ABOUT YOU; DEBBIE MAGIDS, PHD, COAUTHOR OF ALL THE GOOD ONES ARENT TAKEN; LOU PAGET, AUTHOR OF THE GREAT LOVER PLAYBOOK; LINDSEY POLLAK, AUTHOR OF GETTING FROM COLLEGE TO CAREER; CAROLINE TIGER, AUTHOR OF HOW TO BEHAVE; NICOLE WILLIAMS, AUTHOR OF GIRL ON TOP
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SOURCES: DALE ATKINS, PHD, AUTHOR OF SANITY SAVERS: TIPS FOR WOMEN TO LIVE A BALANCED LIFE; AUGUSTINE KPOSOWA, PHD
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Theres no doubt about it: Mondays are tough. But according to new research, Wednesdays can really suck the life out of youliterally. A recent study found that most suicides occur midweek. Its the tipping point, says Augustine Kposowa, PhD, the study author and professor at the University of California at Riverside. Stress from Monday and Tuesday weighs people down, and the weekend can still feel very far away. Okay, the study looked at the worst-case scenario, but it gets at a truth that has intensified since the recession: People are working harder and spending less on breaks like happy hour, which makes for less, well, happiness. But it doesnt take a lot of time or money to get your week (and mood) back on track. Try these tactics for quick relief.
good cocktail of oxytocin and dopamine into your system. After all, they do call it, uh, hump day. N Sprinkle some cinnamon in your morning coffee. Not only will it dress up your java, but a study found that the scent also can decrease anxiety and stimulate the part of your brain tasked with keeping you alert. N Nix the brown bag and make this your lunching-out day. Its a small change, but trying new thingseven simply a different deliwill spark an adrenaline rush that helps to fuel a good mood. N Create a Wednesday a.m. playlist for your commute. Bumper-to-bumper traffic isnt so bad when youre blasting your fave songs. N Sign up for ShopItToMe.com, a site that alerts you when your favorite brands go on sale. Choose to have the info sent to you on Wednesdays. Youll score cute stuff for cheap, and online window-shopping taps in to your brains reward center, triggering a shoppers high. N Schedule your Saturday plans now, and the weekend wont feel so far off. Or plan the details of another eventan upcoming concert or
vacation. Just imagining yourself lounging on a beach is an instant mental holiday. N Make Wednesday Would You Rather Day with your guy. Exchange texts like Would you rather I kiss your thigh or your neck? Anticipating each others texts will make the day speed by and give you great ammo for a hot hookup later. N Buy an inexpensive flower to put on your desk, like a daisy or a rose. Certain colors can improve your moodincluding yellow, which boosts happiness, and red, which amps excitement. N Change your desktop background to a fun pic from a recent day off (just right-click a cute photo from one of your friends Facebook albums to save it to your computer). Itll be a visual reminder of the good times you have comCHOCOLATE Rx ing your way Eating an ounce in less than 72 and a half of dark hours. chocolate a day
Youre Exhausted
Ever notice that youre desperate for sugary and carb-loaded foods after a bad (or short) night of sleep? Thats because when youre dragging, your body craves a jolt of energy...and a sweet snack often delivers an instant boost. Thing is, not only does your body not need the calories, but indulging in something sweet and junky will actually make you feel more tired, since sugar-energy highs are followed by rapid energy plunges. Instead, wake yourself up when youre feeling beat with a quick burst of exercisefor example, a 20-minute gym routine or a brisk walk. Then plan to better manage your fatigue next time, by either getting to bed half an hour earlier or taking a power nap.
Do you ever find yourself reaching for a high-calorie food when you shouldnt even be hungry? Turns out, the human brain has a tendency to fire off a I need to eat message in response to emotions and situations that have nothing to do with appetite...and constantly misreading that cue and chowing down can pack on extra pounds. The trick is to learn what your body is trying to tell you and what kind of fix your system truly needs. These tips will help you avoid loads of calories in the easiest way possible.
Youre Stressed
Its human nature to crave a reward for hard work. So when youre under a lot of pressure for example, you need to finish a big project
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JAMES WESTMAN. Food stylist: Susan Ottaviano for Halley Resources. Prop stylist: Nancy Sotomayor. Plate and fork: Fishs Eddy. Combination locks and napkin: Gracious Home.
Youre Procrastinating
Women often eat to delay making a tough decision or to put off an unwanted task. Nutritionists say we tend to choose food over things like watching TV or going online because those types of activities seem like a waste of time and real procrastination, whereas eating doesnt since, hey, a girls gotta eat. Stop kidding yourself and either give in to goofing off or buckle down and get it done. At least you wont have to feel guilty about being unproductive and overeating.
Youre Thirsty
Hunger and thirst fire off nearly identical messages in the brain, so our bodies often confuse the need to drink with the need to eat. If you ate recently but are suddenly jonesing for some
Food is such a natural way to pamper yourself that many women subconsciously associate feeling stressed with a trip to the vending machine.
Youre Bumming
As kids, were often placated by our parents and teachers with yummy treats, which may be why we connect those same foods (often sweets) with getting out of a funk. Think of how many times your mom said Here, have a cookie to stop your crying. But what you really need when youre feeling blue is emotional comfort from someone close to you. So rather than reaching for a cupcake, reach for your cell phone or your laptop and call a friend or cruise Facebook. It also helps to get energetic: Experts say connecting with other people and getting out of your apartment and doing somethingeven if its just window-shopping with friendshave been shown to banish bad-mood hunger. solid sustenance, the explanation is probably dehydration. Thats why nutritionists say the first thing to do when youre craving food is drink water. Guzzle it down, and wait about 10 minutes; that lingering hunger will probably fade.
Youre Bored
We migrate to the kitchen when we have nothing to do because, well, its something to dosomething fun and pleasurable to boot. If you cant get out of the house or away from your desk and you start fantasizing about chips, ice cream, or [insert your poison here], do something competitive, like playing a video or online game. Itll entertain you and keep your hands N too busy to reach for food.
SOURCES: DAWN JACKSON BLATNER, RD, AUTHOR OF THE FLEXITARIAN DIET; JANA KLAUER, MD, AUTHOR OF THE PARK AVENUE NUTRITIONISTS PLAN
BASIC ISOLATION
(1) Stand with your feet slightly wider than shoulder width, hands on hips, abs pulled in. (2) Keeping your stomach tight, shift your torso to the left, pause for a second, and then shift to the right. Only your upper body should move, not your hips. This is one rep. Do 25, and work up to as many as you can.
TURN U THE VOL P These ex UME inspired bercises are listen to m y dance, so do them. usic as you M the beat w oving to the isolati ill make on more natu s feel ral.
1
DIAGONAL ISOLATION
(1) Start in a basic isolation with your upper body to the left, abs tight. (2) Shift your torso to the right, lowering your chest about 45 degrees. Its easy to let your stomach hang here, so pull it in. Shift back to start thats one rep. Do at least 25; switch sides.
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CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D. Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Elisa Flowers at Bernstein and Andriulli for Sebastian Hair. Makeup: Katrina Bailey. Manicure: Deana Blackwell for Mark Edward Inc. Top: Elisabetta Rogiani; shorts: lululemon; sneakers: Asics. (Anderson) Gary Gershoff/Getty Images for Baby Buggy.
Tracy Anderson is a top fitness guru who helps A-listers like Gwyneth Paltrow and Shakira sculpt lean, sexy figures. Check her out at tracyanderson method.com.
MeetYour Trainer
HOW TO
Head home with something sweet. Oh, and pick up dessert too.
Furniture is usually crazy expensive, but now you can make over your place for less. Some furniture retailers are offering their own Cash for Clunkers deal by giving you a discount in exchange for your worn-out items.They may not advertise it, so youll need to ask.
REALITY CHECK
WHAT YOU COULD HAVE BOUGHT A wallet, a trench coat, a wrap dress, a Flip video recorder, rain boots, and gold earrings
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(Couple) DREW AND DEREK RIKER. Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Marco Testa. Makeup: Thora for Kate Ryan Inc. using MAC Cosmetics. Manicure: Deanna Blackwell for Mark Edward Inc. (On her) blazer: BB Dakota; shirt: Banana Republic; jeans: Levis; bag: Cynthia Rowley. (On him) jacket: Topman; jeans: Current Elliott. (Flip video recorder) courtesy of Flip Video. (Pie chart, french fries, and wallet) istockphoto.com. (Earrings) JESUS AYALA/STUDIO D. (Trench coat and dress) DAVID LAWRENCE. (Rain boot) DAVID COOK.
BY MINA AZODI
We always knew that being a little bit bitchy helps you get ahead, but it turns out, it can keep you healthy too. Doctors say that certain nice-girl behaviors, like giving a sick friend a sip of your drink, can leave you with a cold, oral herpes, or swine flu. And dont assume youre safe because flu season is almost over. Swine flu, which those under 25 are particularly susceptible to, may stage a comeback this month. Of course, were not advocating being downright rude. Its more about substituting a different kind of etiquette for the following practices.
sweat and other funk from his skin which may be crawling with bacteria, viruses, and fungicould end up on you. (And youll only have to wipe down the machine once, rather than every time you two alternate.)
Sharing Dessert
If a pal asks to sample your confection, cut it in two, put one half on a separate plate, and joke If we dont split it, Ill totally wolf down the whole thing! No germs are exchanged, you save a few calories, and hey, you come off as supergenerous.
Kissing Hello
Exchanging a quick, wet peck on the cheek can leave you with germs on your face, which can then enter your system via your nostrils or mouth. When someone goes for a smooch, lean in, air kiss, and pull back before theres any skin-on-skin contact. True, you could catch something because of the proximity of your faces, but the odds are lower than if youd actually made a mouth-tocheek connection.
Germ-tini with a twist, coming right up
and the H1N1 vaccine may leave you lax about hand washing and, therefore, more likely to spread germs.
SOURCE: JENNIFER WIDER, MD
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
JAMES WESTMAN. Food stylist: Susan Ottaviano for Halley Resources. Prop stylist: Nancy Sotomayor.
cosmogyno
Stop putting your life on pause once a month.
B Y E ST H E R CR A I N
Gyno News
Achy, tender breasts. Ease the bloating that makes breast tissue sensitive this time of the month by avoiding caffeine and salty foodsboth cause your system to retain water. A supersupportive bra also will help minimize tenderness.
Diarrhea and/or gas. Digestive discomfort during the first days are the result of the same body chemicals that cause cramps. Ibuprofen can stop production of these chemicals, and bland foods, such as bananas and rice, can make stomach trouble less likely.
SOURCE: RAE CHERNG, OB-GYN IN SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA
HEALTH HINT
Resist the urge to hold in your urine: That allows bacteria to multiply, upping your odds of a UTI.
Q&A
energetic and were psychologically healthier than women who werent so thrilled with their lust life. The satisfied younger women studied had sex an average of 13 times a month, so aim for at least three times a week if you want to boost your mental health and make a difference in your day-to-day outlook.
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yourbody
BREAST CHECK
B Y E ST H E R C RAI N
Your nipples point in different directions. One might point up while the other points down, left, or right. It depends on where the areola rests on each breastfor example, if the areola sits higher, it may angle the nipple upward.
Each breast has a different shape. Even if your girls are the same cup size, they will likely hang differently. This could happen if your workouts favor one side of your body, because the muscle on that side gets more toned, and the breast above it looks more prominent. Again, if one suddenly looks different from the other, check in with your MD.
SOURCE: JENNIFER WIDER, MD, WOMENS HEALTH SPECIALIST AND COSMO RADIO HEALTH EXPERT
These thin, weblike red lines are blood vessels that have enlarged due to pressure in your legssay, from excessive standing or walking around in high heels, explains Leonid Trost, a dermatologist in Palm Beach, Florida. The veins are harmless, but
Heels this high arent worth the side effects.
Be sure the condom is put on correctly: Each year, 15% of pregnancies occur because it wasnt.
SOURCE: PLANNED PARENTHOOD
They may not be. These OTC pills and capsules are classified as supplementsso the FDA doesnt require them to undergo the testing that drugs do. They usually contain an herb called yohimbine, says urologist Sheldon Marks, mens health expert on WebMD. The amount of yohimbine in them is weak, but there have been reports of heart and liver problems, plus irritability and insomnia. Warn your guy of the dangers, and tell him theres no proof these concoctions actually improve satisfaction.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
(Signs) Photographers Choice/Getty Images. (Illustration) ANDERS WENNGREN. (Male model) CHRIS CLINTON.
if you dont like the way they look, a dermatologist can shrink them via an injectable solution or fade them with laser therapy. Prevent them by wearing compression stockings and limiting the amount of time you spend on your feet and in heels.
Need to Know
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Michelle Lee was a young forensic specialist hoping to solve crimes like the ones you see on prime-time police dramasnever thinking it would be her body in the middle of a murder scene. Heres how real-life investigators found the clues that led to her alleged killer.
By Matthew Malone
intent of throwing them off the trail. It was one of many indications that this murder investigation would be one in which insider forensic knowledge would come into playknowledge that came very close to sending detectives in the wrong direction. chelles hands with bags to preserve trace evidencethings like hair, fiber, skin, and blood that might be caught under her fingernails during a struggle. Investigators also would have covered and later swabbed the kitchen knife used to murder Michelle for DNA and cut the material used to tie her to the bedpost, leaving any knots intact (they may contain fibers and skin cells). Personal items like a diary, computer, and cell phonewhich can help identify potential suspects and a motive for the crimewere surely collected. Crime-scene investigation nowadays, with all the electronics involved, goes beyond the four walls of the room, says Dr. Baden. But the New York Daily News reported that, as it happened, one of the most important pieces of evidence found in Michelles room was as low-tech as it gets: diary entries mentioning a relationship with a man named Gary McGurk, a 23-year-old student at Lees alma mater, John Jay College of Criminal Justice in Manhattan. Detectives pulled him in for questioning, and on the evening of April 28, McGurk sat in the interview room
(Opposite page) David White/Alamy. (This page, from left) New York Post/splashnews.com; splashnews.com.
A forensic expert says Gary McGurk (left), a forensic student himself, may have used insider tactics to throw off detectives investigating the brutal murder of Michelle Lee (right).
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of the NYPDs 108th precinct and gave a long statement, some of which was later made public. Irish-born and scruffily good-looking, McGurk was close to earning a degree in forensic psychology, training designed to give insight into the mind of a murderer. Forensic experts familiar with the case say that McGurks statement to police reveals telltale signs of that training and suggest he tried using his knowledge to outsmart his interrogators.
McGurk said Michelle helped him out when she could, lending him money when he was out of work (he claimed to have lent her money as well) and worrying about him when he developed health problems. Much of McGurks description of Michelle was fairly consistent with the picture painted of her by her many friends, who created a Facebook memorial page after her death. They remembered Michelle as a caring, loving, and responsible friend who loved foodmac and cheese with ketchup was a favoritewindow-shopping, and reality shows on Bravo. Michelle longed to own a pug and was self-assured enough to wear Barbie pink nail polish, even while working in a tough, male-dominated profession. And she excelled in that world: Her academic performance earned her the recognition of the John Jay faculty and of New York City police commissioner Ray Kelly, who described her as very talented.
JUST AS INTERROGATORS ALWAYS HOPE, AS MCGURK RELAXED, HIS STORIES RANGED FURTHER AFIELD, MAKING SLIPUPS MORE LIKELY.
But then McGurk began to describe a different side of Michelle...and that, according to Geberth, is when the forensic-psychology students knowhow really began to kick in.
The investigators started, as they usually do, by asking nonthreatening questions, says Geberth, to make the suspect open up. McGurk talked about his family life, then he explained how Michelle had caught his eye in the fall of 2004, when he saw her jogging at the John Jay gym. He asked her out, and they dated for a short time, he said, but the relationship didnt pan out. It was more physical than anything else, he told investigators. It turned into friends with benefits.
Just as interrogators always hope, says Geberth, McGurk seemed to become more comfortable and his stories started ranging further afield, making slipups more likely. I had very few disagreements with Michelle, McGurk
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said. We had disagreements of a sexual nature: dress up, light bondage, furry handcuffs, spanking, biting. Sometimes when we did the bondage, we did the asphyxiation. Shed be on top and choke me. Id be on top and choke her. One time, Michelle got very angry. She forgot to tap my wrist to stop choking her. We decided never to do that again. What McGurk was doing, Geberth feels, was planting an alternate explanation of the crime: that an unknown sexual sadist had killed her during kinky sex gone wrong. That convinces him that the crime scene was probably staged. Based on his experience studying murder scenes, Geberth has found that when the body is staged in a sexual way, its for one of three reasons: to satisfy the killers deviant fantasy, to express anger toward the victim by demeaning her, or to draw attention away from the most likely suspect. The third scenario is the most insidious, says Geberth. Its done by a clever offender. The way the victims body was presentednude, with the knife in the neckinvestigators are taught to think of this as a sexual offense. That shows a perpetrator with knowledge of law enforcement. McGurk went on to describe the night of the murder in careful detail his date with his then-girlfriend, including exact times, subway lines, even the cost of a boat ridebut his account became fuzzy at the approximate time of Michelles death. Here, says Geberth, he was trying to appear helpful and cooperative, but he went too far and his vagueness about the end of the evening was a red flag. According to McGurk, he had gone to Michelles street late that night to collect $500 she owed him. Although it was after 2 a.m., he said they walked the block as she told him she couldnt repay him yet. I got to her apartment door, and she said she had company and said good night and walked off, said McGurk. At 3:56 a.m., I received a call on my cell phone from her. Here,
TRUE BLOOD
Bloodstain patterns including the size, shape, and position of the dropletsreveal crucial clues at the scene of a violent crime.
Luminol spray illuminates bloodstains the naked eye cant see.
Large droplets (at least 4 mm) often indicate that the victim was hit at a relatively low speed and force, most likely by the attackers fist.
Medium-size blood droplets of 1 to 4 mm suggest that the victim was attacked with a blunt object, like a baseball bat.
A mistlike bloodstain (drops 1 mm or smaller) tells investigators the victim may have been shot, even in the absence of bullet fragments.
A stabbing often produces blood castoff on the wall as blood flies off the blade when the attacker flings his arm back between blows.
NIKI MARIE EVANS
SOURCES: STEVEN F. HUNDERSMARCK, PHD, DIRECTOR OF THE CENTER FOR CRIMINAL SCIENCE, INDIANA TECH; LAWRENCE KOBILINSKY, PHD, CHAIRMAN OF THE DEPARTMENT OF SCIENCES, JOHN JAY COLLEGE OF CRIMINAL JUSTICE
(Blood patterns) ANDERS WENNGREN. (Fiber-match images) courtesy of the Center for Modern Forensic Practice, John Jay College of Criminal Justice.
lookcheck my phone, he added to detectives. He couldnt wait to show them the cell phone, says Geberth, possibly because he had called his phone with hers to throw them off. Meanwhile, McGurk was working to present himself as someone with a moral base, someone who could barely tolerate the brutality he saw as a forensics student, much less perpetrate it. During high school, he said, he had considered becoming a priest. Instead, he wound up at John Jay studying crime and criminalswork he found upsetting. The pictures turn your stomach, he said of crime-scene photos. Its too much to handle. I panic at needles.I find crime-scene photos and cadavers disturbing. As they concluded the interview at 1:45 a.m., a detective asked McGurk if hed like to say anything else. He responded with a statement that seems calculated to demonstrate that his ethics were far from those of a murderer.
If I were to have done this to Michelle, I would not only embarrass myself but I would also embarrass my family, he said. Whatever happened to Michelle, whether it was an accident or on purpose does not matter.If I did it, I would deserve to be put away. Because police had yet to process the evidence, an indictment at this point wasnt possible, so they let him go.
views, and looking at phone records. Pretrial, the D.A.s office wont disclose details of what was found, but the evidence convinced a grand jury in Queens County Supreme Court to hand down a six-count indictment against Gary McGurk on May 21. He is charged with striking Michelle with a blunt instrument and stabbing her with the knife. In an attempt to cover up the crime, he allegedly tampered with blood evidence and Michelles BlackBerry and altered the condition and position of her body after death possibly in the way Geberth described in his speculative scenario. Once the indictment was issued, police arrested McGurk at his mothers home in Woodside, Queens. When they arrived, he was leaving the house with a bag of clothes and a passport. Police brought him back to the 108th precinct, this time as an accused murderer (he pleaded not guilty). Many questions remain that may or may not be answered at trial, when detectives are at liberty to detail how the evidence convinced them of his guilt and of his duplicity in tampering with the evidence. Some of McGurks words to detectives about Michelle seem, in retrospect, to suggest there is much more yet to be revealed. I get angry when people who dont know her try to act as if they do, he told them. You know nothing....I knew Michelle N like no one else. No one else.
A fiber match (above right, magnified many times), can implicate a suspect if, for instance, a thread from his sweater is found near the victim. A mismatch (left) can be used in his defense.
SOURCE: PETER DIACZUK, DIRECTOR OF FORENSIC SCIENCE TRAINING, CENTER FOR MODERN FORENSIC PRACTICE, JOHN JAY COLLEGE OF CRIMINAL JUSTICE
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Need to Know
Long before spiked heels with exotic names (Louboutin, anyone?) became objects of desire, chicks have been shoe-crazy. But recently, we got proof of exactly how crazy: While sales of most things have plummeted thanks to the recession, footwear sales have gone up compared to the same period last year. Yes, buying a pair of shoes has always had near-supernatural effectslike instantly updatFirst there was Cinderella, then there was Carrie Bradshaw. ing an outfit from last year or We explain the fascinating reasons why footwear is seducing our just making you feel hotter imaginationsand emptying our walletsmore than ever. than hellbut that doesnt BY MINA AZODI fully explain how footwear is beating the odds in sales. Trust A Higher Power science to have the answer: Turns out, weve always been All those wonderful feelings are intensified when you choose wired for shoe lust, even when the going gets tough. high heels...but again, its biology, not Jimmy Choo, at work. Happy Feet Like most animals, were wired to associate height with First of all, theres some serious mood-boosting going on power, says Helen Fisher, PhD, professor of anthropology when you try on any kind of apparel. The neurotransmitat Rutgers University. High heels can literally raise your ter dopamine is released, providing a feel-good high, status because youre taller when you wear them. similar to taking a drug, says Martin Lindstrom, a brandHeels carry historical significance as well, adding to their ing expert for Fortune 100 companies and author of Buyappeal. In previous centuries, only the wealthy wore high ology: Truth and Lies About Why We Buy. The dopamine heelseveryone else had practical footwear to do manual increases until you swipe your debit card. Usually, the high labor. Shoes were a measure of class, says Fisher, and then flatlines, and guilt starts creeping in...except, that is, we still have a bit of that mind-set ingrained in us. when the item youre purchasing is a pair of shoes. ShopSexual Heeling pers rationalize shoes as a practical buysomething they Now go even higherto stilettosand another element can wear multiple times a weekso they hold on to that rears its head: sex. Stilettos are undoubtedly foxy, but pleasurable feeling longer, says Lindstrom. why, exactly? When a woman wears them, she assumes But its not just dopamine at work. Shoes mood-altering a primal mating pose called lordosis, says Fisher. Her traits also come from another brain reaction, says Lindbutt lifts, and her back arches. strom. Buying new footwear stimulates an area of the But theres more to it than how hot your ass looks. Acbrains prefrontal cortex termed the collecting spot. Shoes cording to Daniel Amen, MD, author of The Brain in are a collectors item, whether women realize they perceive Love, our minds are structured in a way them that way or not, says Suzanne Ferriss, that may associate feet with sex. The area PhD, editor of Footnotes: On Shoes. Just Your 1 of the brain that communicates with the think of how theyre often stored artfully on Obsession genitals is right next to the area that deals shoe trees and shelves. Theyre like sculpwith the feet, says Dr. Amen. These retures, says Ferriss. As a result, collecting The average gions share neural crosstalk, which may be each type provides a mini-adrenaline rush woman owns 19 pairs of shoes why shoes can be erotic. And we thought similar to the satisfaction a stamp collector but wears only 4 of it was just our lust for high style talking. N gets when he acquires a rare find.
them regularly.
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Need to Know
About 40 percent of employees have an office romance at some point in their careers.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Having sex with a superior? Recent highprofile cases make it sound like a bad idea... and yet lots of people keep doing it. We asked three women to spill the true stories of their secret work affairs, including the most important part: what came of it.
As told to Hillary Quinn
Maybe we should have been stressed about our situationCharless boss even asked him if anything was going on between us. He denied it, and we didnt worry. Charles was looking for another job, and I was friends with the entire management team, so I felt protected (yes, that was naive). We also had no delusions about being anything but a rebound. The stakes, at work and outside it, felt low. Five months after it began, I ended the affair. Charles had just left the firm, and maybe that made the break simpler...but I think it was also time for it to be over. We wanted different things in life. He and I still talk, and he helped me look for my next job. Theres a saying in Spanish: Un clavo saca a otro clavo. It means One nail drives out another. And thats how I think about Charles and mewe helped each other get through something difficult. And thats all we were ever meant to be.
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Work-Affair Playbook
Sure, on-the-job relationships may be common...but theyre seriously risky. So before you act, consider the rules.
DO: Proceed with caution. Read the employee handbook to find out your firms dating policies. And remember: Although a survey found that three-quarters of companies do not have a formal policy, 80 percent of the HR professionals polled said supervisors and subordinates should not date. DO: Behave professionally. Even if theres no rule against dating, conducting your relationship openly in your workplace could lead to charges of favoritism. More than half of employees in a survey said PDA between dating coworkers should be prohibited. DONT: Use your work e-mail or company-issued mobile device to send non-work-related messages or texts to each other. DONT: Assume your boss would take the heat if things go badly. Sure, hes potentially opening himself up to sexualharassment charges, but in reality, its underlings who can be at risk of being fired.
LAUREN OTIS SOURCES: JENNIFER LOFTUS, PRESIDENT-ELECT OF THE HUMAN RESOURCES ASSOCIATION OF NEW YORK; HELAINE OLEN, COAUTHOR OF OFFICE MATE: THE EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK FOR FINDINGAND MANAGINGROMANCE ON THE JOB; POLL BY THE SOCIETY FOR HUMAN RESOURCE MANAGEMENT AND CAREERJOURNAL.COM; BARBARA SAFANI, PRESIDENT OF CAREER SOLVERS
At work, we wrote dirty e-mails to each otherbut we only slept together every few months on business trips. To discourage suspicion in the office, hed often disagree with me during discussions among coworkers. That made me feel like he didnt take me seriously as a professional. I even asked for a transfer (I was denied). And yet, over the course of the next two years, I also blossomed. I lost 60 pounds, was promoted twice, and was the most creative Id ever been. Our relationship evolved too: Instead of going to bars, wed go to great restaurants. We were still passionate, but more like a couple. Though leaving our spouses was never on the table, in part due to his kids, that was okay; it even made him more attractive. Then everything blew up. My husband read our e-mails and confronted me in a rage. I cannot believe youre fucking him! he screamed. I knew it all along! He then punched a hole in the kitchen door. I was actually afraid for my safety. I ended the romantic relationship, while my husband put me under virtual house arrest and secretly installed keystroke-tracking software on my computer. Then I found out that David and my husband were in touch to try to work through the situation like menand that David was blaming me for everything, as though hed been the victim of a seductress. That was the last straw. I quit my job and wrote a Facebook message to Davids wife, telling her the truth but also that David loved her and his kids and didnt want to lose them. She never wrote back, though David later said theyre trying to work it out. But Im planning on divorcing my husband. Do I regret anything? Yes: getting caught. I was happy the way things were. The affair helped me regain my self-esteem, and I hope I find someone who inspires me like David did. So even with the pain and drama, my life changed for the better.
ROBERT WHITMAN. (On her) bra: Jenna Leigh. (On him) shirt: John Varvatos; belt: Burberry.
50to Ways
7 Ask your rubberlimbed yoga teacher to demonstrate an advanced asana that youve always wanted to see done by a pro. She will love the chance to show off...and pay more attention to you in class.
FLIRT
8
Lean on the counter at the dry-cleaners so that the cashier can see your statement necklace slip into your cleavage.
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FLIRT
FLIRT
11 Encourage your
stylist to audition for Bravos Shear Geniusbecause she would clearly win.
Walk up to that Taylor Lautner look-alike standing alone at a party, give him a playful smile, and say, I heard there would be tons of cute guys here. So far, Ive only seen one.
21
26 Write an e-mail to
your BFF out of the blue, detailing the top 10 reasons she kicks ass.
12 E-mail your
cubemates a funny story with a note that reads, I know hilarious people like you will appreciate this.
13
Get the overworked interns advice on where to take a friend for cocktails because a cool girl like you must know all the in places.
19 Recruit a hot
stranger to do a karaoke duet with you because you have a feeling hes a crowd pleaser.
24 Tell the guy running on the treadmill at the gym how impressed you are by his grueling workout.
20 Comment on a
guys outfit with something like It takes a lot of balls for a man to wear pinkIm into that.
33
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
(Drinks, from left) JESUS AYALA/STUDIO D. SVEND LINDBAEK. (Lautner) Jordan Strauss/Getty Images. (Rose) SVEND LINDBAEK.
Brag about that time your animal-loving brother rescued a stray puppy while youre out together with family friends.
34
Anatomy of a Flirt
40 Send him a PG-13
TwitPic showing you naked from your armpits up with a message that reads You can see the rest tonight.
That rush you feel when youre charming a guys pants off? It isnt just mental. Heres what happens to your bod.
Flushed Cheeks
41 When youre at
the movies, lightly trace your fingers up and down his forearm.
Blushing is an autoresponse to the adrenaline rush you get from making a moveand a dead giveaway that youre into someone.
Tingling Tatas
42 Slip into your fishnets while giving him the eye. 43 Ask him to lift that
bulky box off the top shelf because I need a big, strong man for this.
As you flirt, a flood of the intimacy hormone oxytocin gets your heart pumping, making the twins swell with blood and become extrasensitive in the process.
Sweaty Palms
37 Give everyone in
your inner circle a flattering nickname, like ManEater and Fashionista.
Cozy up to a dude you dig and youre likely to get palm puddles. Sexually charged interactions trigger the release of the sweat glandstimulating hormone norepinephrine.
= =
Below-the-Belt Boost
The oxytocin flood doesnt just affect your breasts; it also causes you to feel a tingly, warming sensation down there.
FLIRT
Weak Knees
Feeling like youre going to topple over when you chat up a hottie is totally normal. The pleasure neurotransmitter dopamine rushes through your body, making you feel momentarily weak.
SOURCE: GENERAL INTERNIST HOLLY PHILLIPS
pair of silk boxers to pamper his package since its been working extrahard lately.
Sit in the kitchen and watch him make his famous five-alarmfire chili because its better than anything on the Food Network.
46
47 Study his face, and
remark on how much he looks like [insert hot male celeb he kindasorta resembles here].
48 Grab his ass on your way into a restaurant. 49 Get him to teach
you his expert poker
50 Wear a very short skirt, and let him follow you up a long flight of stairs.
SOURCES: SUSAN CAMPBELL, PHD, AUTHOR OF TRUTH IN DATING; EVE MARX, AUTHOR OF READ MY HIPS; SUSAN RABIN, AUTHOR OF LUCKY IN LOVE AND FOUNDER OF SCHOOLOFFLIRTING.COM
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Funand Fearless
Bitch It
Snap Out of It
Not only does he look like a creeper, but my boyfriend totally ruined this photoand a bunch of othersbecause he thinks its funny to jump in the background every time I try to get a cute picture with my friends. Niki, 23
Bad Sign
One of my guys most annoying habits is making a W then a U with his hands, making the What Up sign whenever he beats me at something. At first, I thought it was cute, but it got old really fast! Amy, 21
Extinguish This
Whenever my boyfriend comes over, all he wants to do is play dress-up with my little sister. Getting along with my family is one thing, but getting decked out in a fireman costume is another. Not to mention, Halloween was months ago. Ali, 18
What a Pig
Meet my new roommate. They found each other at a flea market, and my boyfriend just had to bring him home.
Charlotte, 22
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Out!
Head Case
My picture frames were demoted to a box in the closet to make room for these sports caps in our bedroom. My fianc thinks they are some beautiful pieces of artwork! Dana, 29
We love men, but sometimes they drive us freakin crazy. Check out what these chicks have to put up with.
On the Rocks
I always feel the urge to kick my guy out of the living room while my shows are on because hes constantly crunching on ice. Ugh, I just want to relax and watch television in peace! Heather, 25
Say Cheesy
Weve been together for six years, and I dont have a single shot of my husband where he isnt striking a stupid pose or making an ugly face. The closest Ive come to getting a normal picture of him is when hes passed out asleep. He is in his 30s but acts like hes 5. Nicole, 34
Frequent Flasher
My boyfriend has the annoying habit of not zipping up his fly. We were on the way to a family gathering, and I reminded him that if he went to the bathroom to make sure he zipped up. Sure enough, he came back to the dinner table with his boxers peeking out. My grandma whispered, Why dont you bring home a nice boy for a change? Claudia, 22
COSMOPOLITAN.COM/BITCH-IT-OUT Annoyed beyond belief? Log on to share your pet peeve (and photos).
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Funand Fearless
Dudes dont really get skanky. So if they took over, theyd simply compare what they think is hot to what they think is even hotter.
By Ky Henderson
COSMONEWS
A new Camaro
That doubles as an intergalactic laser-shooting robot Eating a big, sloppy burger once in a while
Sienna Miller
Sienna Miller
Telling us how much you want us when we get home from the bar
Showing us how much you want us in the bathroom of the bar Revealing dresses with ultrahelpful easy-access zippers
Ashley Greene
Revealing dresses
Ashley Greene
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5-inch stilettos
on/WireImage.
Funand Fearless
WADLEY. Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Carlos Vera for visionofvera.com. Makeup: Jillian Chaitin for Nars. Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. Tank top: Ogle. This is a professional model.
table from me and pass off my ideas as her own, I decided to take action. Right before our next company-wide meeting, Maggie came over to my desk to grab her notes, which I had, of course, agreed to organize into talking points. Thats when I slipped her an outline of my project instead. In the meeting, she cluelessly started reading it out loud. It wasnt until Steve interrupted her to ask why she was talking about my assignment that the penny dropped. Maggie just stared at me, slack-jawed. Several other people were nodding and smirkingguess I wasnt the only one who knew what a nut Maggie was. I shrugged and said, She must have grabbed my notes instead of the ones I wrote up for her. Steve called Maggie into his office for a chat, and I was ushered in 30 minutes later. The result? She kept her promotion but had to stay in the department she hated. And I was promoted after my review three months later, thanks to my excellent ideas. I felt bad about hanging Maggie out to dry, but I learned a valuable lesson in the process: Give credit N where its due...or else.
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Funand Fearless
Spring Break
I never took part in spring break. I refused to attend those ridiculous beach outings in college. I mean, I also refused to go to college, but still, Im sure I could have wandered down to Florida in March and obtained a good venereal disease had I wanted to. Im also certain that I would have excelled at beer pong.
On-Set Romances
If youre going to sleep with your costar in a movie, I think its important that you divorce your current spouse first. See: Tori Spelling. See also: LeAnn Rimes. Im pretty sure that the Lifetime network alone is responsible for several broken marriages. I know some people say its impossible to work with somebody that closely every single day and not fall in loveor at least pork them. I disagree. See: Chuy. But I do understand that it happens. See: Angelina Jolie. Or see: Sienna Miller.
fan of their music, and I think theyre odd-looking. But in a world full of young stars like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears, maybe I should give these boys a break. At least none of them have ever gone crazy and shaved their head, gotten arrested, or flashed their vagina. Perhaps these guys are good role models for kids. Not the kids who ever want to be cool or have sex, but the other kind.
Despite the rumors, Brad and Angelina are not going to split up. I do believe that theyre completely miserable, but it doesnt matter. They have too many children to turn back now. Guys Who Frequent Maybe they got a good return policy Strip Clubs on the adopted ones in case things Its fine if they go from time to time, didnt work out, but theyd still have a but not regularly. Nobody likes the handful of biological kids, which are smell of strawberry lotion and girls much more difficult to ditch. Fire named after cars that much. If your stations usually stop taking them after boyfriends excuse is that hes attendthey reach preschool ing a bachelor party, let age. I also assume that him go. If your boyCHECK OUT Brad is terrified of leavfriends excuse is that HER SHOW ing Angelina. Nobody its Tuesday, you may Watch Chelsea dish the latest wants to piss off a have a problem. The gossip and woman who once wore only exception to that interview tons somebody elses blood rule: if he is, in fact, a of celebs on her show, Chelsea around her neck and stripper. In that case, Lately. It airs dry-humped her hes just showing good weeknights at 11 on E! N brother. work ethic.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
8 Must-Try Trends
The latest styles are a lot like you: sometimes sweet and playful, sometimes bold and badass.
PHOTOGRAPHS BY MARC BAPTISTE
This classic staple in an updated color adds Bond Girl allure to any outfit.
192 COSMOPOLITAN
LINGERIEINSPIRED DRESS
Delicate lace and figuretracing lines are a killer datenight combo.
2A
(This page) dress, Preen by Thornton Bregazzi; bag, Marc Jacobs, $525; earrings, C. Greene; bracelet, Siman Tu, $588
(Opposite page) trench coat, Banana Republic, $198; dress, MM Couture by Miss Me, $88; shoes, Tory Burch, $325; bag, Mulberry; bracelets (from top), Vita Fede, $135; Ted Rossi, $215; ring, Alex Monroe, $195; dog collar, $38, and leash, $60, La Cinopelca
Transparent panels turn an LBD into an innocent yet provocative peep show.
3 CLEAR CUTOUTS
Dress and bracelets, Michael Kors BEAUTY TIP: Frosted lips plus peekaboo plastic equals steaming hot. Swipe on a silver-tone lipstick, such as MACs Metal Maven, $14.
Jacket, Roxy, $59.50; tank top, New York & Company, $28; shorts, J.Crew, $49.50; belt, Chinese Laundry, $68; boots, The Frye Company, $328; bag, Max Mara; sunglasses, Ray-Ban, $139.95; earrings, Banana Republic, $24; (on left wrist) tigereye bracelet, $88, and brass bracelet, $40, Sisco Family Jewels; watch with leather band, Michael Kors, $140; (on right wrist) leather wrap bracelet, CC Skye, $95; beaded bracelet, A.V. Max, $60
4 UTILITARIAN BASICS
Snag a cool safari jacket, and rock it with rolled-up shorts and boots.
195
CHIC
5 DANCER
The ballerina look is one part feminine, two parts femme fatale.
Bodysuit, Zimmermann, $195; skirt, Bebe, $69; earrings, Melanie Auld Designs, $300; (on left wrist) bracelet, Ranjana Khan, $395; (on right wrist) bracelet, $385, and ring, $220, Ranjana Khan
Jacket, Loft, $298; camisole, Ann Taylor, $28; pants, Charlotte Ronson, $195; belt, Forever 21, $8.80; shoes, Elie Tahari, $398; bag, Mulberry; necklace, Lydell NYC, $45
NEUTRAL
6 THE NEW
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DETAILS
7 GRAPHIC
Dress, Nicole Miller Collection, $400; booties, Dolce & Gabbana; bracelet, Robert Lee Morris; ring, Alexis Bittar, $175 BEAUTY TIP: Eyecatching rings and bangles call for flawless tips. Nail-polish decals, like Sally Hansen 14 Day Nail Shield, $6.99 (in sheer shades), nix drying time. Fashion director: Michelle McCool Hair: Jason Murillo for Garren NY at Atelier Management Makeup: Renee Garnes for Lancme at Artists by Next Manicure: Tatyana Molot at Artists by Next Illustrations by Claudia Domingues for Alice + Olivia See page 234 for shopping information.
WEST GEAR
Ride em, cowgirl! Frills and denim will rope him in every time.
8 WILD-
Shirt, $395, bra, $75, skirt, $645, and belt, $395, D&G; necklace, Ginette_NY, $335; (on left wrist) bracelet, Cynthia Desser, $195; (on right wrist) leather and silver bracelets, Waxing Poetic, $55 each; brown bracelet with polka dots, Sisco Family Jewels, $88
199
MELLOW YELLOW
Cardigan, Ann Taylor, $88; necklace, Kara Ross, $220; bracelets, $238 each (top and middle), $275 (bottom), DANNIJO
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SPLASH OF COLOR
Bustier, $368, and shorts, $238, Tibi; shoes, Casadei; sunglasses, Gucci, $295; necklace, $195, bracelet (on left wrist), $325, and bracelet (on right wrist, middle), $155, Alexis Bittar; bracelets (on right wrist), Ben-Amun by Isaac Manevitz, $60 each BEAUTY TIP: Dont forget protection when flaunting skin outdoors. Keep it gorgeous with Lubriderm Advanced Therapy Moisturizing Lotion With SPF 30, $7.
PINK LADY
Dress, Dsquared; shoes, Diane von Furstenberg, $280; necklace, CC Skye, $410; ring (on left hand), Ann Taylor, $48; ring (on right hand), House of Lavande, $548
MINT CONDITION
Top, DKNY Jeans, $59; skirt, Cynthia Steffe, $425; shoes, Giuseppe Zanotti Design, $680; earrings, Joanna Laura Constantine, $120; bracelets, Jenny Bird, $115 for set of 12 Senior fashion editor: Heather Pfaff Hair: Jason Stanton for cloutieragency.com/ Redken at Cush Salon, Beverly Hills, California Makeup: Christy Coleman at the Wall Group Manicure: April Foreman at the Wall Group See page 234 for shopping information.
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I[noXo IWjkhZWo
Got big plans for the steamiest night of the week? If you wait until the last minute, you could end up with bikini-line bumps, uneven brows, and dull skin. Instead, do a task or two a day and youll walk out the door looking gorge.
BY LEAH WYAR
CedZWo
DEFUZZ YOUR LADY PARTS
L TACKLING THIS TASK TODAY Gives your irritated, just-waxed bikini area plenty of time to heal, so youll be bump-free on your big night. L GET-SEXY SECRETS: Long hairs can get tangled in the wax, upping your wince risk; trim them (see Your OhSo-Hot Tool Kit, on page 208) until theyre as long as a grain of rice. Next, sprinkle on powder to give wax a better grip, says Shobha Tummala, founder of Shobha hair-removal salon in NYC. Skip the Brazilian (ouch!), and wax the sides of your bikini area only (not your lady bits). Pre-applied strips let you take off an even amount of hair on either side, ideal for shaping a landing strip. Apply them in the direction of hair growth, hold the skin taut, and pull off the wax, going the opposite way. Tidy remaining hairs by trimming.
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SCORE SMOOTH SKIN
L TACKLING THIS TASK TODAY Lets your skin recover from any sensitivity by Saturday and appear totally flawless and touchable. L GET-SEXY SECRETS: Achieve complexion perfection with a double slough, or two exfoliation steps in a row, suggests dermatologist Elissa Lunder, of Wellesley, Massachusetts. First, rub a physical exfoliator (code for gritty) into wet skin for about 60 seconds. This loosens the bonds that hold dull, dead skin cells together, says Dr. Lunder. Rinse, then lather up with a cleanser made with glycolic or salicylic acid (both are chemical exfoliators). Massage it onto skin for a minute, then leave it on like a mask for another minute. Rinse, and pat skin dry. To keep those top layers dewy, apply a glycolic acidrich cream Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights.
M[Zd[iZWo
CREATE AMAZING ARCHES
L TACKLING THIS TASK TODAY Can head off botched brows. Knowing you have oodles of time prevents reckless plucking (like the kind you do 60 seconds before a hot date). L GET-SEXY SECRETS: Pros are best at major shape changes, but cleanups are doable at home...and easiest after a shower. The steam softens the follicles, so hairs are easier to remove, says L.A. brow expert Kristie Streicher. First, pencil in your brows darker than usual (line up inner brows with the sides of your nostrils, then follow your natural arch), and step back from the mirror. Like the shape? Tweeze outof-bounds hairs, pulling in the direction of growth. Not sure a hair should go? Hide it with concealer to get a prepluck preview. Take off makeup, and have one last look-see.
J^khiZWo
BE A BRONZE GODDESS
L TACKLING THIS TASK TODAY Leaves you time to even out streaks...and let the sometimessmelly chemical scent air out. L GET-SEXY SECRETS: Jump in the shower, and gently exfoliate all over with a loofah. Dry off, then apply lotion to bony areas (like knuckles, knees, and wrists), which absorb more product. Now grab an aerosol spray. They dont require rubbing in, which can lead to streaks, says Natalie Cupid, senior technician at NYCs Sundara tanning salon. Get a feel for the sprayers speed on paper before using it. When youre comfortable, clip up your hair, and hop back into the shower (it can be rinsed of any tanning residue). Holding the can 6 inches from skin, mist on using even horizontal strokes. To tint your back, bend at the waist and reach around, spraying from your neck to butt. Wait 15 seconds so the mist settles, then hang out naked until youre dry (about 10 minutes). If streaks show up, buff them with a wet loofah.
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PREP YOUR MANE AND GET YOUR MANI ON
L TACKLING THESE TASKS TODAY Saves you serious style time tomorrow and lets your scalp produce 24 hours worth of oil, which grounds hot airinduced flyaways. Nails get hours of drying time, nixing nicks. L GET-SEXY SECRETS: Wash your hair, but apply conditioner to ends only so roots stay perky and fresh. To avoid buildup and flat hair, use only a styling cream, a multitasker that protects wet hair from heat damage plus adds shine and smooths frizz, says NYC stylist Teddy Charles. Blow-dry strands upside down, tugging at roots to create volume. When hair is halfway dry, stand up and blow out small sections, winding them with a boar-bristle round brush. Next up: nails. Push back cuticles, file tips so theyre even, then apply a base coat and two coats of color. Neutral colors camouflage mistakes, while sparkly formulas anchor lacquer to the nail, says Jenna Hipp, celeb manicurist in L.A. Finish with a thin layer of top coat.
IWjkhZWo
MASTER THE FINISHING TOUCHES
Do these last few steps in order to achieve the final megabombshell effect.
L Tweeze new bikini-line hairs. If hairs are too long for your liking, groom them with a trimmer. Pull skin taut so you dont nick it. L For a total-sexpot twist to your usual makeup routine, apply brown shadow to lids, smudge it out to the sides, and dot petroleum jelly on top to create a sultry sheen, suggests Rachel Goodwin, celebrity makeup artist for Chanel. L Set hair in large Velcro rollers, and blast them with heat from a blow-dryer. Let hair cool while you get dressed, then take out the rollers, and tease the crown area. L After youre dressed, top off exposed self-tanned skin with bronzing powder. Use a big powder brush (ideal for the body), and apply in circular motions. L Spritz your favorite perfume on just-moisturized skin. Fragrance molecules will stick around until the wee hours of night.
TUESDAY
LOral Paris Go 360 Clean Deep Exfoliating Scrub, $7, offers a double slough in one step, thanks to salicylic acid and a nubby buffing tool.
WEDNESDAY
One Tweezerman Slant Tweezer, $20, is all youll need for life simply return it to the company when it needs sharpening.
THURSDAY
Sally Hansen Airbrush Sun for Body, $10, sprays upside down, ideal for tinting hard-toreach areas, like your back.
FRIDAY
Soft shades, like Este Lauder Pure Color in Iced Rose, $18, Essie Nail Color in Shifting Power, $8, and CoverGirl Boundless Color in Megawatt Mauve, $3.69, hide chips. Sunsilk Hydra TLC 24/7 Creme, $5, smooths strands.
SATURDAY
Spray YSL Parisienne, $65a mix of rose and peony on top of damp, lotioned-up skin.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
(Stills) JEFFREY WESTBROOK/STUDIO D. Dress: Jay Godfrey; earrings: Kenneth Jay Lane.
Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel Hair: Leon Gorman for Cutler NYC/Redken at See Management Makeup: Tracy Murphy for Lancme Manicure: Myrdith LeonMcCormack at Ford Artists for m2m damorejon Waxer: Bimala for Shobha, myshobha.com See page 234 for shopping information.
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Emma Watson
Check out these A-list babes. Their photos prove that no onenot even someone in the hands of a prois immune to beauty slipups. Thats why our simple goof-proofing tips are so valuable. Follow them and youll always be picture-perfect.
BY JESSICA R. WHITE
Ziyi Zhang
Taylor Momsen
BEAUTY BLUNDER
Lipstick-Tinted Teeth
Bold crimson lip color has an all-eyes-on-you effectthe reason its so popular on the red carpet. Trouble is, its rich pigment seems to have a magnetic pull toward teeth. Whats the deal? Red shades can be packed with three times more pigment than paler shades, explains Alan Farer, vice president of color research and development at Coty. The stark contrast of red on white is simply more noticeable than pink or nude on white. SOLUTION: Try this trick from celeb makeup artist Brett Freedman: Apply lipstick, and blot. Next, rub a cotton swab across your teeth to remove any trace of pigment. Then dip the opposite end of the swab into petroleum jelly, and rub it over your front teeth. The barrier prevents color from sticking to your porous pearly whitesplus, it makes your grin extraglossy.
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BEAUTY BLUNDER
Jennifer Lopez
BEAUTY BLUNDER
Victoria Beckham
Camilla Belle
Part of the Maybelline Eye Studio shadow kit in Pink Passion, $10
A smoky eye is one of the sexiest night-out looks, but going too dark or being heavy-handed can create the illusion of less white space in your eyes, which slims them, says Maral Balian, makeup artist for Warren-Tricomi Salon in NYC. SOLUTION: Black isnt the only way to sport a smoky set. Gray, especially if it sparkles, has a just-as-sexy effect without narrowing the eye area, says Balian. First, line your upper and lower lash lines with black liner, but keep the line thinno thicker than a piece of angel-hair pasta. Now swipe gray shadow onto your lids and, using a thin eyeliner brush, apply it over the liner as well to brighten it. Smudge the color to diffuse any harsh edges. Finally, place a white, shimmery shadow in the inner corners and directly above your irises to make eyes pop.
BEAUTY BLUNDER
Way-Shiny Skin
Brittany Snow
Even if youre religious about self-tanning from head to toe, your face will inevitably look paler, as its washed and exfoliated more frequently than your body is, and that accelerates the fading process. SOLUTION: Avoid discoloration by using bronzer. Those with pink undertones prevent orange-looking skin, says makeup artist Rick DiCecca. We like Este Lauder Bronze Goddess Bronzing Blush, $32 (above). Apply it to your forehead, nose, and cheekbones and from your jawline to your neck. Blending these key areas makes everything match, says DiCecca.
Jessica Simpson
Celebs have sweltering lights to contend with. In real life, high restaurant temps or a sweaty night of dancing can leave you looking like a hot mess. SOLUTION: Head off slippery skin by adding these steps to your get-ready routine: Apply face primer to absorb slickness, then even out your complexion with an oil-free base, says celeb makeup artist Monika Blunder. Set everything with translucent powder. Rather than using powder to touch up later (layers of it can look cakey), use blotting paperingredients like rice nix oil sans residue. Press a sheet against skin so you dont rub off your makeup.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
(Belle) Amy Graves/WireImage. (Snow) Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage. (Lopez) Steve Granitz/WireImage. (Beckham) Todd Williamson/WireImage. (Simpson) Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage.
BEAUTY BLUNDER
(McCord) Brad Barket/Getty Images. (Eve) David Livingston/WireImage. (Meester) John Parra/WireImage for Victorias Secret. (Diaz) Kevin Winter/Getty Images (2).
BEAUTY BLUNDER
BEAUTY BLUNDER
Bedhead Brows
Of course, groomed arches are important. But even a perfect shape can look out of whack when hairs arent combed into place, says Rachel Gangemi, brow specialist at Valery Joseph Salon in NYC. SOLUTION: Using a lash brush (like the one at right) or clean mascara wand, brush brows in an up-and-out direction, until they look uniform. Dot on a little water to tame stubborn hairs that stick out. Finally, spritz the brush with hair spray (or use a brow gel) to hold hairs in place. FYI: This should be the last step of your routineapplying makeup afterward can mess up your work.
Leighton Meester Anastasia Mini Duo Brush #7, $18, and Clear Brow Gel, $21
Like jewelry, nail polish accessorizes your look...and you wouldnt wear a nicked-up gemCameron stone ring, would you? Diaz Were not suggesting you have to be manicure-perfect all the time (who has the cash for that?), but if you are going out and plan on holding a glass of wine all night or are meeting a slew of new people and will be shaking hands with them, take two seconds to touch up. SOLUTION: The easiest way to fix chips is with a nail-polish pen (its filled with lacquer) in a shade that matches the polish on your fingers. One drop will give you enough polish to conceal the mistake, explains celebrity manicurist Elle. (We like Sally Hansen Color Quick Fast Dry Nail Color Pen, $8.) Let polish dry for 60 seconds, then skip the timely application of a top coat and instead apply cuticle oil over nails to add shine. Its also smart to store a packet of nail-polish-remover wipes in your walletin cases of major mess-ups, bare nails are better.
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cosmo life
BY BETHANY HEITMAN
Adios, flyaways!
Weekend
(Model) KIM MYERS ROBERTSON. (Extraspicy Bloody Mary) istockphoto.com. (Mimosa) excerpted from Tiny Bubbles: Fizzy Cocktails for Every Occasion Using Champagne, Prosecco, and Other Sparkling Wines, by Kate Simon. Photographs by Sheri Giblin. Published by Chronicle Books. 2008. (Lips) courtesy of xbox.com.
Mimosa
Theres a new game from XBox thats perfect for weekends when youre craving something low-key. Invite pals over, grab some beer and good frozen pizzas (think DiGiorno), and try Lips ($60, xbox.com). It comes with mikes and lets you do karaoke to cool current songs. But this isnt just a sing-along. It also rates how well you keep up. So plan to get your Lady GaGa on.
When your weekend is packed full of errands, do something nice for yourself for each thing you get donelike swing by a cute caf for a latte.
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN
Relaxation Pointer
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cosmo life
weekend
3 Signs He Wants to Spend More Time With You
BY JESSICA KNOLL
Y and Him ou
She shops all day with her friends and blows her money on a pair of shoes or a bag. Then I get stuck with the whole dinner tab that evening.
He says its too hot for your sweater. Translation: He hopes you leave it at his place and come back for it later.
He asks how you like your coffee. Hes hoping youll stick around longer in the a.m.
He DVRs your favorite show. Even though he doesnt love it, hell watch it just to keep you around.
Kevin, 29
The next time youre running errands in sucky weather, bring your tiniest travel umbrella. When you spot a hunk whose umbrella youd like to get under, stash yours in your purse. Approach him and ask if hed escort you to your car so that you dont get drenched. Then offer to buy him a drink to thank him for his chivalry.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
at your place
cosmo life
BY BETHANY HEITMAN
Q: I have a bunch of photos I want to display. Any suggestions on how? A: Order varying sizes of prints on a
Website like Shutterfly.com. Then buy the same frame in different sizes, and hang them in groups. If you want the display to be really fancy, pick frames that have mats in them.
Q: I like the look of a centerpiece on my dining table or coffee table, but flowers die. What lasts? A: Buy a large glass vase (theyre cheap
at Pier 1 and Ikea), and fill it with sand or moss balls. You can also set out one or a stack of pretty photo albums on a coffee tabletheyre fun for guests to flip through. Colorful candles are always a good idea too.
Q: My parents gave me their old, ugly couch. How can I modernize it? A: Shop for a
simple slipcoveryou can find really inexpensive ones now. Choose a color that goes with the room or opt for white (its actually the easiest color to care for: If it gets dirty, you can just bleach it). Then dress it up with unique pillows.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Q: Whats a simple way to make my puny space appear bigger? A: Most people stay away from darkcolored paint, but if you use a deep hue on only your ceiling or one wall, it helps it recede, making the room seem larger. Also, use touches of light colors everywhere else (throws, vases, artwork, etc.) to make the area feel alive and airy.
like Bed Bath and Beyond. Secure them to all four sides of the comforter before slipping it inside the duvet cover.
redcover.com/Getty Images
Q: I have a duvet cover, and my blanket gets all bunched up in it. How can I keep it smooth? A: You can find weighted clips at stores
eat this up
An Easy Wine-Tasting Party
You dont have to be a wine snob. Just gather your crew, serve these bites (they go perfectly with any vino), and have fun sipping and sampling.
It may sound daunting, but a wine tasting can be a nofuss, really fun way to entertain. Just pick a region (Tuscany, California, Argentina), Katie Lee and have each guest bring a bottle from that area. As the hostess, whip up a few tasty hors doeuvres. Thats it. You will be stressfree and save a bundle on booze.
cosmo life
Devils on Horseback
Everyone will love the salty-sweet combo of the bacon and the dates!
24 pecans 24 pitted dates 8 slices bacon (dont use thick-cut), cut crosswise into thirds 1 to 2 cups mango chutney, for serving
3 cup Dijon mustard 2 cups seasoned bread crumbs teaspoon kosher salt teaspoon freshly ground black pepper Honey mustard or duck sauce, for serving Skewers
1
Gruyre (or your fave firm cheese) Blue (like Roquefort) Grapes Sliced apples Dried fruit (like apricots and figs) Nuts Crackers and crusty bread
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Insert a pecan into each date. Wrap each date with a piece of bacon, and secure with a toothpick. Place on baking sheet, and bake until bacon is crisp, about 8 to 10 minutes. Drain on a paper towel, and serve with mango chutney.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, and spray with nonstick cooking spray. Thread chicken pieces onto skewers, working the skewer in and out of the meat. Brush chicken with Dijon mustard. In a shallow dish, combine bread crumbs, salt, and pepper. Dredge each chicken skewer in bread-crumb mixture until evenly coated. Place skewers on prepared baking sheet, and bake until cooked through, about 8 to 10 minutes. Serve with mustard or duck sauce.
Wine-Tasting Tips
L Assign friends to bring white, ros, and red so you dont end up with too many bottles of one variety. L Nothing ruins nice wine like drinking it out of a plastic cup, so invest in a set of wineglasses. Stores like Ikea or a restaurant-supply store should have some as inexpensive as a dollar or two. L Provide bottled water so that nobody gets tipsy. L Put out notepads and pens so guests can write down the names of their favorite wines.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
LARA ROBBY/STUDIO D. Food stylist: Susan Vajaranant. Prop stylist: Thom Driver for Halley Resources. (Lee) PETER MURDOCK.
cosmo life
vs.
Chocolate Brownie
Calories: 540 Fat: 30 grams Thanks to the milk in the ice cream, this dessert has some calcium. Too bad its negated by the hefty calorie and fat counts; 22 of those fat grams are the arteryclogging saturated kind.
Calories: 410 Fat: 24 grams Gooey and chocolaty, it has no real nutritional value. Still, one brownie is 130 calories fewer than the sundae, and only 7 of those fat grams are saturated. If you crave a treat, its less damaging.
SOURCE: CARVEL AND STARBUCKS NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION
Q&A
What should I snack on after a workout?
If youre sure you really are hungry (and you dont just have exerciseinduced faux cravings), go with something thats part-carb, partprotein. A few ideas: peanut butter on whole-wheat crackers or Greek yogurt with fruit, says Tanya Zuckerbrot, RD, founder of skinnyinthecity.com.
Metabolism Booster
Because it requires more energy to digest, protein fires up your calorie-burning ability. A 3-oz. serving of skinless chicken, trimmed beef, or fish has fewer than 300 calories.
Lean Protein
When young adults in a recent study dined out with a thin pal who chowed down, they subconsciously ate heartily as well. Yet when they went out to eat with a heavier friend, they were more likely to eat lighter.
SOURCE: JOURNAL OF CONSUMER RESEARCH
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
(Top to bottom, from left) StockFood/Getty Images; Dorling Kindersley/Getty Images (2); Flickr RF/Getty Images.
Get a sneak peek at what to look forward to...and what to watch out for.
Strengths: Compassionate, artistic, intuitive Weaknesses: Overly sensitive, unrealistic, suspicious What makes you sexy: Youre the ideal blend of down-to-earth and girlie girl. Your mysterious charm intoxicates guys (youll give them a smile but then wait for them to come to you). Your birthday month: Speaking your mind is not your strong suit, but under the bold Sun near the 17th, call out a friend for a bitchy remark or tell your guy you crave oral. Being in control is so damn sexy. Dating tip: Radical Uranus calls for an unusual date on the 6th. Invite the guy youre
BY STACEY WOLF
seeing to a theme park, and go on the scariest rides. The adrenaline rush will put you both in an I-wanna-ripyour-clothes-off mood. Love advice: Daring Venus says to up the kink. Use a headband to bind his wrists above his head, climb on top, and have your way with him.
Pisces
homemade guac. Play a hot movie in the background (try Celebrityit has a Leonardo sex scene) to set a seductive tone. Dating tip: As sultry Venus circulates, a guy friend shows interest at a party. He digs a tease, so play it cool that night, then ask a mutual friend to tell him youre into him. Love advice: Under spontaneous Mars, stop by his place after girls night. The surprise factor makes your hookup so intense.
Gemini
The fun Moon wants you to host a cocktail party. On the 20th, invite a small group of people over for margaritas, mojitos, and
Taurus
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Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic
You usually love to party, but the secluded Moon makes alone time a priority after the 15th. So have a pleasure party for one. Find your G-spot, and master the blended orgasm. Later, let your guy in on the technique. Dating tip: Thanks to strategic Mercury, you learn new info about your secret crush (like his fave sports team). When you see him near the 4th, mention that you love the Colts. Love advice: With impatient Uranus ruling, you want him bad. Push your undies to the side for sexundressing takes too long.
Aries
Thanks to lucky Jupiter, you get great news at worka promotion or an exciting project could come your way after the 7th. Celebrate! Invite all your friends to a fun club, and get rowdy on the dance floor. Bonus: Your positive energy attracts tons of men. Dating tip: A friend brings her coworker to happy hour, and the romantic Moon creates chemistry. Dont leave without giving him your numberhell text you within 24 hours. Love advice: The erotic Sun says to break out flavored lube to kick up foreplay a notch.
(JUNE 21JULY 22)
With exciting Jupiter in play, a surprise is in store for you (think an unexpected visit from an old flame) near the 4th. Leos love to be center stage, so rally pals at a favorite brunch place on the 7th and share the scoop. Dating tip: When a new guy asks you out, the inquisitive Moon advises you to look at his FB page. His pics reveal a revolving door of girls, so proceed with caution. Love advice: The titillating Sun coaxes you into some X-rated shopping together. Go to babeland.com and pick out a new sex toy.
Leo
Brave Jupiter tempts you to take a trip; check out off-season destinations, like Europe. If possible, plan to go out of town near the 25th. Probing Pluto uncovers a nasty secret within your social circle around then. Trust us, youll want to avoid the drama. Dating tip: Close to the 12th, the fortuitous Moon inspires a cute out-of-towner to ask you for directions. Help him out, then invite him to meet you at a local hot spot later that night. Love advice: Exotic Venus suggests going down on each other in the shower.
Cancer
Patient Saturn rules after the 21st. Take advantage by plowing through your to-do list in a single day. Youll feel so accomplished that rewarding yourself will be a no-brainer. Schedule a refreshing oxygen facial. Dating tip: Captivating Venus says to show up 20 minutes early to enjoy a solo drink before dinner with friends. A hottie whos waiting for his buddy will ask you out. Love advice: Walk around in slinky lingerie under the gutsy Moonhell pounce ASAP.
Virgo
Overwhelming Saturn jam-packs your nights, but dont put workouts on the back burner or youll feel blah. Taking an a.m. Spin class will rev up your energy during this busy time. The icing on the cake? A sexy, sculpted ass. Dating tip: While grabbing coffee on the 31st, opportune Jupiter says to fake-spill your cup. A cute guy will help you clean up. Love advice: Get into bed early on the 9th for a slowie inspired by languid Neptune.
Libra
Midmonth, the creative Sun triggers your artsy side. Sign up for a pottery or photography class. Hot tip: If youre in a relationship, use your skills on your guy. Coat him in edible body paint or take XXX pics together. (Dont forget to delete the evidence.) Dating tip: Youre horny, thanks to the insatiable Moon. On the 3rd, text an old booty call for a no-strings-attached hookup. Love advice: Passionate Jupiter wants you to try this naughty idea with him: Have sex every day for the entire month.
Scorpio
Capricorn
The 17th will be a big nightthink a friends bachelorette party or an anniversary dinner with your man. Daring Jupiter urges you to sex up your look for the occasion. Buy a sheer top (a major spring trend) thatll reveal a lacy cami underneath. Dating tip: Although preppy guys are more your type, experimental Uranus says to flirt back when a hipster hits on you. Love (or at least a hot tryst) is definitely in the air! Love advice: Under generous Jupiter, give him a deep-tissue butt massage.
(JAN. 20FEB. 17)
Cancer Scorpio
Chace Crawford July 18, 1985 Leonardo DiCaprio Nov. 11, 1974
Sagittarius
The competitive Sun has you gunning for a new challenge. One example: Join a charity group to raise money near the 16th. The stars say youll meet a cute do-gooder wholl fall hard for your ambitious streak. Dating tip: Under unexpected Uranus, a hot friend of a friend moves to your town before the 9th. Offer to take him to your fave sushi spot and give him an insiders tour. The stars predict this will be a spicy match. Love advice: Suggestive Venus says to make a classic board game racy. For every wrong answer, remove an item of clothing.
The lucky Moon brings you extra cash after the 18th, but the stars say youd be smart to save. In a few months, youll want to spend those funds on a cool experience, like a summer beach rental. Dating tip: Playful Jupiter has you going on a fun double date with a coupled-up friend and her guys buddy on the 7th. Do something active, like ride ATVs or take a hike. Itll draw you closer than dinner and a movie. Love advice: Sexy Venus says to turn off your iPhone, laptop, and TV and explore his untapped moan zones (turn to page 122).
Aquarius
The Crabs dependable nature wins your trust no easy feat. Your deep connection makes sex an intense, soulful experience.
Hes traditional (like giving you his jacket), which you find romantic. Hes determined to please you in bed, so tell him what gets you hot.
Turning Him On
Pisces
The stars reveal how to tantalize your man based on his sign.
Analytical Mercury has him reevaluating his life planlike if he should go back to school. Let him talk it out over burgers and beers on the 17th. The move hes craving: On-the-go action. Have him pull over, and get it on in the backseat.
Thanks to impulsive Uranus, hes up for anything near the 3rd. Play hooky: Do brunch and a matinee...and make out in the nearly empty theater. The move hes craving: A steamy view. Touch yourself during you-on-top sex.
Cancer
Steamy Venus has him all over you. Make a sextriathlon date near the 7thstart on the couch, move to the stairs, and end in the shower. The move hes craving: Verbal passion. Say the words hes dying to hear: Im coming.
Scorpio
Taurus
The macho Moon makes him crave guy time near the 15th. Plan a girls night, but have your groups meet up later...and let the coupling up begin. The move hes craving: A tease. Text him at dinner Lets skip dessert. I just want you.
Passionate Uranus makes this stoic guy romantic on the 6th. Hes craving sensual sex, so hold his gaze during missionary and moan his name. The move hes craving: A sexy plan. Meet during lunch hour to squeeze in a quickie.
Virgo
Gemini
Guided by expansive Jupiter, he gets a career boost around the 5th. Take him out for a champagne toast, and then head home to continue the celebration between the sheets. The move hes craving: Extra stimulation. Hold a small vibrator against the base of his penis.
He turns into a gym rat under the disciplined Sun after the 20th. Have a treadmill contest: The one who runs the farthest in half an hour gets to order the other one around in bed afterward. The move hes craving: A public tryst. Open the blinds, turn on the lights, and get busy.
Libra
Hes chained to his desk, thanks to hardworking Mercury. Hell want a distraction on the 17th, so bring by a late dinner. Since youre all alone, slip into the coat closet for a steamy kiss. The move hes craving: A.M. oral. Turn off his alarm, and wake him up with your lips.
Capricorn
Lucky Jupiter puts extra cash in his pockets. When hes tempted to blow it on the 21st, help him resist by proposing a free plan: naked night with you. The move hes craving: Stop-and-go action. Bring him to the brink, pause, then start again.
Aquarius
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He is MIA under the reclusive stars but will resurface on the 10th once energetic Mars rules. Have an all-night sexathon to make up for lost time. The move hes craving: Neck action. Lightly nibble all the way down to his collarbone.
Aries
Hes lusting after you near the 16th, as the intense Moon rules. Turn him on even more by tucking lacy panties into his pocket before work. The move hes craving: Playful pain. Lightly spank him or pull his hair midaction.
Leo
This outgoing guy prefers quiet nights under the mellow Moon. Cook pasta at his place around the 14th, wearing his button-down and nothing else. The move hes craving: A challenge. Master the tricky art of sex against the wall.
Sagittarius
Fix-Up
Kirby was drinking coffee in the kitchen when she heard someone swearing in the back of the B and B. She walked into the foyer and found Brett crouching on the other side of the now screenless porch door. What are you doing? she asked. Brett held a roll of mesh in one hand and clutched his back with the other. I came down to get water. I saw the mesh on the porch and thought I could cover the door You really didnt have to do that. I know, he said, his expression tight. Just trying to help out. But I scratched my back on a nail that was sticking out of the wall. He turned around and pulled up his tee shirt to reveal a red line running across his broad, muscular back. How bad is it? he asked. Kirby took in the sight of his bare skin and swallowed hard. I have Band-Aids in the kitchen, she said. Follow me. In the kitchen, Kirby opened a cabinet and grabbed the first-aid kit. When she turned around, Brett was standing just inches from her. She realized for the first time how big and tall he was, and she felt her desire surge.
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ROBERT WHITMAN
Brett took the kit and placed it on the counter. Kirby reached out to help him open it, and his fingers brushed hers. Slowly, his stroke became more deliberate over the back of her hand. Kirby looked up, and their eyes locked. Kirby. Bretts voice was low and raspy. He lifted his fingers to her chin, forcing her to hold her gaze. Am I the only one thinking about this? he asked. Kirby felt breathless. It was exactly what she wanted to hear, but she couldnt stop wondering what had driven him out of Vegas. Youre not, she said, but I barely know you. I know Ive been holding back, Kirby replied. But what brought me here doesnt matter. All that does is what I feel for you. His green eyes blazed with sincerity, and Kirby decided she didnt care what his secret was. She pressed her body into his and kissed him deeply.
over yet, Kirby put her hands on his shoulders to stop him. As if reading her mind, Brett said, Ill be right back.
Kirby held onto his shoulders, her head leaning back in ecstasy. They found their rhythm, and Kirby felt the momentum build. Brett leaned forward, pressing her against the wall and burying himself deep inside her. His breath was hot against her neck. He took her mouth in his own, and the sweet release hit them at the same time. Kirby gripped Bretts shoulders so hard, her fingers cramped, and she cried out his name. As their breathing slowed, Brett said, Hold on. Kirby tightened her legs around him, and he turned so he could lay her down on top of their discarded clothes
Playing to Score
Brett pushed his hands through her long blond hair then slid them down her shoulders, grazing the outer sides of her breasts. His mouth moved slowly down her neck. Kirby ran her fingers up and down Bretts back as he undid the buttons on her shirt. Before unclasping her bra, Brett flicked his tongue over the sheer material. Kirby cried out, and Brett slowly peeled the now damp, flimsy fabric from her skin. She gasped as he closed his lips over her bare breasts and, as he moved lower, kissed her stomach. When he unbuttoned her pants, Kirby felt her knees go weak. Bretts own low groan of appreciation as he tugged her pants down her hips had her splaying her palms flat against the wall to hold herself upright. Yes, she moaned as his tongue found her. Her hips moved with him, establishing an erotic rhythm that could drive her over the edge. Not wanting it to be
Kirby gasped as Brett moved lower and closed his mouth over her bare breasts.
ankles behind his back. He hiked her up further, until her face was even with his. Then slowly, he slid down the wall, taking her with himand onto him. Kirby gasped as he entered her. Its okay? Brett asked. Very, she said. He grinned and kissed her, lifting her hips away from the wall so she could control the movement. Their kiss was broken when Brett leaned back onto his hands. He arched his hips and drove deeper into her. on the floor. Then he settled beside her and drew her to his chest. As her racing pulse slowed, Kirby found herself again wondering about Brett. She wished she didnt care, but when his fingers began to stroke her back, she felt her heart being squeezed. And she knew that if they kept this up, even for just a little longer, it was going N to hurt like hell when he left.
Adapted from HERE COMES TROUBLE, by Donna Kauffman. Copyright 2010. Published by Kensington Publishing Corp.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
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8 MUST-TRY TRENDS
PAGE 192: Banana Republicbanana republic.com. MM Couture by Miss Me mmcouture.com. Tory Burchtoryburch.com. MulberryTender, Birmingham, Minn., 248258-0212. Vita Fedevitafede.com. Ted Rossitedrossi.com. Alex Monroealex monroe.com. La Cinopelcazoomiesnyc.com; Zoomies store, New York City, 212- 462-4480. PAGE 193: Preen by Thornton Bregazzi Curve stores, Los Angeles, 310-360-8008; Miami, Fla., 305-532-6722. Marc Jacobs Marc Jacobs boutiques nationwide; marcjacobs .com. C. GreeneBroken English, Los Angeles, 310-458-2724; brokenenglishjewelry.com. Siman TuSiman Tu Gallery, New York City, 212-237-327-4326; simantu.com; customer service@simantu.com. PAGE 194: Michael KorsSelect Michael Kors stores; 866-709-KORS. PAGE 195: Roxyroxy.com; NY & Companynyandcompany.com. J.Crewjcrew.com. Chinese Laundry514-279-6328; customer service@chineselaundrybelts.com. The Frye Companythefryecompany.com. Max Mara Max Mara store, New York City, 212-879-6100. Ray-BanSunglass Hut; sunglasshut.com; 800-SUNGLAS. Banana Republicbanana republic.com. Michael Korsmichaelkors.com. CC Skyeccskye.com. A.V. Maxavmax accessories.com. Sisco Family Jewels siscofamilyjewels.com. PAGE 196: ZimmermannSalon9 Showroom by special order, 212-354-9220. Bebebebe .com. Melanie Auld Designsmelanieauld designs.com. Ranjana KhanNeiman Marcus (bracelet); Saks Direct (ring); Angela, Menlo Park, Calif., (cuff). PAGE 197: Loftloftonline.com. Ann Taylor anntaylor.com. Charlotte RonsonCharlotte Ronson store, New York City. Forever 21 forever21.com; select Forever 21, Forever XXI, and For Love 21 stores. Elie TahariElie Tahari Collection boutiques; elietahari.com; 212-3344441. MulberryGarmany, Red Bank, N.J., 732-888-2127. Lydell NYClydellnyc.com. PAGE 198: Nicole Miller Collectionnicole miller.com. Dolce & GabbanaSelect Dolce & Gabbana boutiques; dolcegabbana.it; 877-70-DGUSA. Robert Lee MorrisThe Robert Lee Morris Gallery, New York City, 212-4319405. Alexis Bittaralexisbittar.com; Alexis Bittar store, New York City, 212-727-1093. PAGE 199: D&G Bergdorf Goodman (shirt and skirt); yoox.com (shirt only); D&G boutiques nationwide; 800-979-9308 (skirt and belt only); neimanmarcus.com (bra only). Ginette NY Ginette NY stores, New York City, 917-365-4838.
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previously published, and does not contain any material that would violate or infringe upon the rights of any third party, including copyrights, trademarks, or rights of privacy or publicity. A panel of Cosmopolitan editors will select 51 semifinalists, one from each of the United States and one from the District of Columbia, from qualified applications based on the content of the nomination letter and the photos submitted. Cosmopolitan editors will select semifinalists from April 19 to April 26, 2010; their decisions are final. The semifinalists may be notified by phone or e-mail starting May 3, 2010. Each semifinalist is subject to the following criteria: (1) must be a legal U.S. resident between the ages of 18 and 40 at the time of entry; (2) must be male; (3) must be unmarried and cannot currently have a girlfriend; (4) cannot have posed showing full-frontal nudity for any sexually explicit Website or publication. Cosmopolitan editors reserve the right to disqualify winners at their discretion. Void in Puerto Rico and where prohibited by law. Contest is subject to complete official rules available at cosmopolitan .com/bachelors.
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Cosmo Quiz
B Y ROB I N H I LM AN T EL
7 TO 10 POINTS
Blind-to-Love Babe
You may display killer confidence in most areas of your life, but when it comes to guys, your mojo is missing. Its time to stop assuming that you arent sweatable and start tuning in to the signals men are sending. Try smiling and see if he smiles back. Also, listen for lots of questions, says communication coach Cynthia Leeds Friedlander, author of Speak Easy. Both are signs he likes you and what youre saying. Get quizzed all the time by grinning guys? Yeah, thats what we thought.
1. Youre grabbing a beer with your BFF when she says a hottie across the room is eyeing you. You say:
b
I doubt it without so much as glancing over to check him out.
2. A month after meeting your new male coworker, you notice hes Facebook friends with several of your coworkers...but not you. You:
a
Hold strong. Hes no doubt smitten but trying to seem nonchalant.
4 TO 6 POINTS
Avoid him at work the next day since he clearly has a problem with you.
Man-Reading Mama
Guy radars dont get more precise than yours. Because you pay attention to the people around you and value their opinions, youre better at guessing whats going on in their heads, says Linda Papadopoulos, PhD, author of What Men Say, What Women Hear. The fact that youre grounded helps too. You have a healthy self-esteem, but you also dont suffer from an inflated ego, Papadopoulos says. So your man-reading skills arent skewed by insecurity or wishful thinking.
3. Youre hanging with a friend and her man, and while shes in the bathroom, he gives you a kinda-friendly, kinda-touchy shove. You:
a
Pull your girl aside afterward to tell her that her boyfriend totally crossed the line.
Are sure he only did it because your friend told him he has to be nice to you.
0 TO 3 POINTS
Serena from Gossip Girl. Like her, you pretty much radiate sex appeal.
Jacqueline from The Real Housewives of New Jersey, because youll talk to anyone.
5. While checking the Missed Connections on Craigslist (its a guilty pleasure!), you usually:
a
Think about how crazy it would be if a couple actually met through one of them.
Keep an eye out for listings describing the outfit you wore that day...or your gorgeous smile.
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SCORING: 1. a1, b2, c0; 2. a0, b1, c2; 3. a0, b2, c1; 4. a2, b0, c1; 5. a1, b0, c2
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