CHAPTEr 3ConseQUenCesAngers Impact on Us, Others, and God Anger a ects our lives phy sically, psychologically, emotionally,and

spiritually. It also infuences our per o rmance in completingtasks or ul lling our work responsibilities. Anger is never ent irely sel -contained. It always has consequences that touch those around us. Morei mportant, anger has an impact on God.tHe ImPACt oF AngeR on YoU PeRsonALLY Anger a ects you personally in a number o ways, ve o which we willexplore in this chapter.A nger Affects Your HealthMore and more, scienti c and medical researchers are nding that asigni cant number o serious diseasesincluding some o the mostdeadlyare chronic i n nature, related to our li estyle choices, andlinked to the way we think or proce ss our emotions. Anger certainly isone o the negative emotions that has been link ed to a wide variety o ailments.God did not create the human body to accommodate long-termanger. The medical pro ession currently puts high cholesterol, smoking,

44 survivi i a AngRY WoRLDand anger on equal ooting when it comes to their destructive infuence.Anger has both immediate and lasting e ects.When a person becomes angry, h er heart beats aster, her bloodpressure rises, her hands sweat. These natural res ponses occurimmediately and require no thought or intention. The stomach tenses, and digestion is hindered. The ace turns red, the muscles tense, andthe person te nds to speak in a louder-than-normal voice. All these areoutcomes that God creat ed as part o our fight-or- ght response todanger or a threat.In addition, the body produces a surge o adrenaline to deal withcrisis. This allows the person to have greater strength to ght or runaway as ast as possible. But adrenaline can be both r iend and oe.When anger is suppressed, the body continues to produce adrenalinein small quantities to address the perceived danger that the mind andheart indicate is present. Over time, this drip-drip-drip o adrenalineand other hormones within the human body is extremely detrimental.It produces a state o internal stressa li ttle like trying to drive withone oot on the gas pedal and the other on the brake . The long-terme ects include ulcers, heart ailments, strokes, arthritis, and depre ssion.Every system and organ in the body is a ected in a negative way.Rather than o wn up to anger, people tend to attribute negativephysical symptoms to stress. Th ey are either not aware or re use toacknowledge that anger is to blame. A doctor o nce said to me, It seemsa third o my patients are on stomach meds, a third are on pain meds,and the rest are on tranquilizers. And most o them wouldnt need anyo them i theyd deal with the emotional issues in their lives.A ew months ago, a man came or ward at the end o a church service.He was bent over and used a cane. He had heard me talk about thenegative physical e ects o anger and said, Dr. Stanley, the doctors have told me that my stroke was caused by anger. Im in the shape I amtoday becaus e o anger. Tell people that anger can do to them what itdid to me.surviving_1p_i_x _1_246.indd 446/2/10 10:41:03 AM oUR AngRY WoRLD 45No issue and n o amount o anger is worth holding on to i it destroysyour health.Anger Influences Your Attitude and BehaviorYou cannot hide anger. It doesnt take long or a sensitiv e, astute personto recognize it in another person. Theres something in the fashin g o the eyes, the clenching o the jaw, or the edgy tone in the voice. As muchas a person attempts to hide it, anger will reveal itsel . At times, thewords an angry person speakseven i dripping with kindnessgivethe person away.Those who study human behavior have noted a number o characteristics in angry people:Tardiness very o ten in an attempt to control a situation ordraw attention to himsel so he can express anger.Obstructive behavior in groups a lack o cooperation to thepoint that the per son is truly disagreeable. She objects toevery idea suggested with an air o disda in. I have been incountless meetings where one person objects toanythingthat isp roposed or o ered as a solution. I have come to recognize theobstructive person as someone who is almost always angry.Cynicism nding ault in every person or situation.J abbing jokes telling embarrassing stories with the intent o hurting the subject o the joke.Disrupting conversations the angry person o ten eels a deepneed to interject hi s or her opinion, even i its o the topic.Sloppy job performance the angry person is o n resent ul tosurviving_1p_i_x_1_246.indd 456/2/10 10:41:03 AM 46 su rvivi i a AngRY WoRLDthe point that he no longer cares about doing a good job. He is not motivated to give his best e ort.Loss of enthusiasm the angry person does not wan t to behappy. This very o ten translates into a down-in-the-mouthattitude. The ang

ry person may withdraw rom social settingsor turn down invitations to public even ts. The angry personwould rather brood than laugh.Depression what begins as a sel -i mposed lack o enthusiasmcan end up as ull-blown depression. Angry people o ten slide into periods o deep discouragement and despair, in partbecause they hate the act t hat nobody seems to take theiranger as seriously as they do.Procrastination the an gry person has little desire to start newthings that require ocus or creativity.Ea ting disorders angry people can overeat, undereat, oroverexercise. They requently n d themselves acing obesity oranorexia or bulimia.Sexual dysfunction many people hav e problems in their sexuallives because theyre angry. When a person is angry and wantssex, what that person is doing is expressing anger to someoneelse through a n act. Sex without love is an act. Animals dothat. And angry people dont realize that a loving and sensitivehusband or wi e knows theres no love in what theyre doing .Its damaging and can destroy a li e and a marriage. Thatshow power ul and deceptive a nger is. But when genuine,godly, wonder ul, intimate, true love is present, its a w holedi erent story.surviving_1p_i_x_1_246.indd 466/2/10 10:41:03 AM oUR AngRY WoRLD 47Anger Disturbs Your SleepAngry people generally are incapable o experiencing deep inner peace.Even i their anger is aimed at just one person or situation, it will spillover into other areas. It cannot be compartmentalized. A nger will taintevery aspect o ones li e.This is clearly evident when it comes to get ting proper rest. Yourbody rejuvenates itsel during sleepold cells are replaced by new ones,hormone levels are rebalanced, and tissues are cleansed o toxins. Themi nd is also renewed. Sleep has bene ts too numerous to mention here.But anger can d isrupt sleep patterns and can keep people rom gettingthe ull nights rest they need. Is someone keeping you awake at nightbecause o his or her insulting remarks or c ritical comments? Are you acing a situation that has you so rustrated you just cant seem to letit go? Do you nd yoursel tossing and turning over what someone didor sa id?A person once said to me, Ive been arguing with my husband, Dan, or ten years. So metimes the arguments are very intense. They can lasthal a night.Thats a very long t ime to be arguing with someone, I replied.She said, Yes, it isespecially since weve been divorced or elevenyears.This woman was still having conversations with her ormer husbandlong a ter he had le t their bedroom. Dan could not hear her complaints,her reasoning, or her sobbing. She elt such anger toward him that itkept her awake or hours at a time. She would express her rustrationand anger out loud as i he could hear, would care, or it would make adi erence.The deception is that when you nally d o get to sleep a ter an angryconversation with a person who is or isnt there, you m ay think thatyour anger has been ully vented and is, there ore, gone. But that isntt he case. Your anger hasnt disappeared. It has simply moved into yoursubconscious where it will simmer and brew. Your anger will sur acesurviving_1p_i_x_1_246.indd 476/2/10 10:41:03 AM 48 survivi i a AngRY WoRLDagain, in some way at s ome time. And its not a matter o if.Its a mattero when.The Bible tells us clearly: Do not let the sun go down on your anger(Ephesians 4:26). In other words, dont go to bed angry. Get rid o youranger be ore you all asleep.The importance o getting a good nights rest cannot beoveremphasized. And one o the keys to making sure you get th e bestsleep possible is guarding your heart and mind rom potentially harm ulor dist racting messages that your brain will process through the night.The portions o th e brain that govern your bodys involuntary musclesand systems continue working to keep your lungs breathing and yourheart beating while you sleep. Your brain kee ps the body unctioning,coordinates the replenishment, repair, and nourishment o ce lls andtissues, utilizes the nutrients you have consumed during the day, andin use s you with energy and strength to ace the day ahead.A similar thing happens in yo ur cognitive and emotional realms.What you eed your mind is processed all night l ong in a way that eithercontributes to or detracts rom your well-being.I you all as leep with your last thoughts being ones o joy andthanksgiving, peace in your rela tionship with God, and enthusiasm orwhat the coming day holds, then you are likel y to sleep well throughthe night and awaken re reshed, energetic, and ready to tak e on thechallenges ahead. You may very well awaken with creative ideas thatyou d idnt have yesterday. They could include answers and solutions toquestions and pro blems that were con using or puzzling to you the daybe ore.On the other hand, i your last thoughts be ore alling asleep are onesmarked by bitterness, revenge, hatred, a nd anger, you are most likelygoing to have a t ul nights sleep. You can count on wak

ing up eelingworn out, lethargic, and with very little motivating energy to do yo urwork or contribute your best to the responsibilities that lie ahead.For years I have encouraged people to pray and read the Bibleespecially the Psalms and othe r books that are especially com ortingsurviving_1p_i_x_1_246.indd 486/2/10 10:41:0 3 AM oUR AngRY WoRLD 49and encouragingas the last two things they do be ore going to bed atnight. Reading the Scriptures and talking to God are the two best sleepaids I know.Reading the Bible lls us with positive and eternal trut h. It makesus aware o the act that God is, has been, and always will be in control o every aspect o our lives. When that knowledge becomes part o ourthinking night a te r night, it creates a very deep sense o con dence.Li es minor problems dont have much i mpact, and the major ones canbe taken in stride. We will see every challenge and opportunity in thecontext o Gods eternal will, plan, and purpose or our livesand ea chsituation and circumstance can be seen in the context o the heavenlyFathers abid ing love and awesome grace.Having a conversation with God just be ore going to sle ep lls yourheart and mind with the awareness and assurance that you have apersona l relationship with the One who is all-wise, all-power ul, andall-loving. In those nal moments o the day, I encourage you to get onyour knees and thank Him or what H e enabled you to accomplish. AskGod to guide your thinking and your work tomorro w, and thank Him or His constant presence in your li e. Ask the Lord to orgive any si nin your li e and to help you orgive the sin o others. Pray or Him tomake any necessa ry changes in your li e so you can become the personHe intends and created you to be. Such a conversation will leave you eeling cleansed, renewed, and at peace with God. In the Bible, everyday was thought to begin at sundown. When the sun set o n Mondaynight, it was actually the start o Tuesday. In Genesis, we learn romthe cr eation story that There was evening and there was morning, oneday (Genesis 1:5, 8, 13, 19, 23, 31).Adam and Eve walked with God in the cool o the eveningwhichis the t ime just a ter the sun sets and be ore the sky is completely dark.They began their n ext day with God by discussing the previous day withHim. Each o Adam and Eves days began with rest, accomplishment,and peace between them and God.For thousands o y ears, Jewish men have gathered together betweensurviving_1p_i_x_1_246.indd 496/2 /10 10:41:03 AM