Psycho-Calibration By Ryan Reed

Table Of Contents
Introduction Before You Begin 1. Creating Your Psycho-Calibration Place 2. Preparing For Your First Psycho-Calibration Session: Making The Decision That Will Change Your Life The Four Steps To Psycho-Calibration 3. Sit 4. Bring Out Your Pain 5. Identify Yourself As The Observer 6. Love 7. Your Daily 7-Minute Restoration Session Summarized, And How To Overcome Common Difficulties In Your Practice Improving All Areas Of Your Life 8. The Rest Of Your Day: Recollection And Reinforcement. 9. Real-World Applications For Psycho-Calibration 10. Failures, Disappointments, And Secrets

Introduction
A Better Life Begins Now
Congratulations! You have purchased the no-nonsense, practical, and powerful Psycho-Calibration technique that has helped many people just like you to start feeling indescribable joy in their lives. Lets get started immediately.

How The Program Works

Each day, your practice will consist of one main session (which can be done in less than 7 minutes) and several thirty-second reminders throughout the day. The main session can be broken down into four steps: 1. Sit 2. Bring Out Your Pain 3. Identify Yourself As The Observer 4. Love The thirty-second reminderswhich recall the positive change made in the main session can be used in all circumstances, at any time. We will discuss the most common uses, such as stopping procrastination so you can get done what needs to be done, dealing better with relationships, and breaking boredom, to name a few. Remember, these are highly-effective techniques that can improve your life today. Unlike other books, which go on unnecessary tangents, this provides a serious program dealing with the serious issues of your life. Im not going to waste a single page. No New Age mumbo jumbo. No difficult philosophy to accept. (This eBook is more concerned with RESULTS.) No confusing, 20-step process or dense, inscrutable language.

One More Thing . . .

This is not something that you can just intellectually understand and have it work. This is an actual technique that takes practice and determination. Once you get the hang of it, its really very simple. However, what we are going to do is so radical compared to the normal way we handle our mind that it may seem impossible at first. Its not. In fact, you can start in minutes. And if you want to skip to Chapter 3, you can learn the four steps of the Psycho-Calibration technique immediately and try it right now. However, for long-term results, I recommend reading Chapters 1 and 2 first, where you will prepare your Psycho-Calibration place and clearly define your commitment. If youre in it for the long haul, start reading the next chapter. If you just cant wait to start, or dont believe that its possible, skip to The Four Steps of Psycho-Calibration, starting with Chapter 3 and ending with Chapter 6, and try it out for yourself.

SUMMARY OF INTRODUCTION Unlike other programs, Psycho-Calibration is easy, brief, and specifically removes your suffering at its deepest root by dealing directly with your emotions. Youve chosen well.

Before You Begin

Chapter One Creating Your Psycho-Calibration Place

The Importance Of Setting How To Create The Personal, Permanent Psycho-Calibration Space That Will Start You On Your New Life
If you enjoy reading, Im guessing you can read a book pretty much anywhere. You can read a book on the subway. You can read exhausted in bed, right before you fall asleep. You can read in a crowded, noisy room. You can even read while doing simple tasks, such as doing the laundry. The same is true with Psycho-Calibration. One of the great things about PsychoCalibration is that you can calibrate ANYWHERE. You dont need to carry anything with you or be in any sort of special position. However, just as some environments make it easier to read, Psycho-Calibration is easier in the right setting. Factors that determine the right setting include: the settings atmosphere, whether you are alone or with others, and what kinds of associations you have with the place. Since you are not an expert on Psycho-Calibration, you need an environment where you can learn, where your skills can develop, and you arent distracted. Later, you will be able to use your Psycho-Calibration skill in all locations even at wild parties. And, once we get to that point, I will guide you through exactly how to do so. But for now

Its Time To Create Your Space.

Take special care with this. Remember: This is the first and most important step. Your Psycho-Calibration space should mean something.

This will be the area where youll escape to, your little private island. Joy and relaxation await you in this place. You shouldnt do everything in this place, such as do your taxes, but you will want to calibrate, and Psycho-Calibration is going to feel wonderful. In choosing your special place for Psycho-Calibration, follow these three rules:

1. Choose a place youve never been to.

Just as I have a strong association with reading at a library, you must have a strong association with Psycho-Calibration at your Psycho-Calibration space. That is why it is important to choose a place free of strong associations. For instance, some might assume that it would be a good idea for you to calibrate on your bed. Your bedroom, they would guess, is a comfortable, quiet, and non-threatening place. However, you spend so much of your time in your bedroom already: Im guessing several hours each day. You already have years of associations with your bedroom, the main association being sleep. Sitting on your bed will most likely make you sleepy, not ready to calibrate! We want the main association the ONLY association in your space to be PSYCHOCALIBRATION. So the best bet would be for you to pick an entirely new place. You have NO associations with a brand new place, and therefore, since all you will be doing there is calibrating, it will become distinctly your Psycho-Calibration place. If you chose a place that is not new, make it new. Redecorate, reorganize. Have fun with it!
EXTRA TIP: To add to the associative power of your Psycho-Calibration place, it is a good idea, if you can, to stock your place with Psycho-Calibration-related materials, such as printouts of this eBook. You want your place to be about Psycho-Calibration entirely so that you will do nothing but calibrate while you are here.

2. Your place should be comfortable and convenient.

This is going to be a place you will visit everyday. Call this your Psycho-Calibration home base. You want your Psycho-Calibration place to be located near you: just a short drive or walk. Make sure, as well, that your place is comfortable for sitting. Carpet is better to sit on than tile. Even better than a carpet is a cushion, like a pillow or beanbag chair.

3. The LESS distractions, the BETTER.

High or low temperatures, wind, noise, uncomfortable seatingall of these distractions can hamper your Psycho-Calibration. So make sure your place has a consistently comfortable temperature. Make sure it is a quiet place. Above all, chose a place where you will be alone and unable to be contacted. Other people are the worst distraction. With other people in the room, youll want to talk with them. Your mind will wander and begin thinking about them. Youll become self-conscious. Even if you are joined by others who are calibrating, such as a Psycho-Calibration group, solitude will provide the best initial results. Later, we will discuss ways of preserving your solitary time even in todays information culture, when every minute may await an email, phone call, or text message.

4 Great Places To Practice

1. Meditation or prayer rooms in your health club, campus, or community are great for Psycho-Calibration. To find such rooms, search online or in the yellowpages. Ask around. These rooms are sometimes free and often have mats, books, and classes.

2.

Reinvent a room you dont use very often, such as a study, into your PsychoCalibration room. Line it with pillows, cover it with peaceful posters. The key is to make this room new so that you can associate this new room ONLY with Psycho-Calibration. If you have a large enough closet, put blankets over the floor and take the clothes hangers down. The closet becomes a small, secluded room perfect for PsychoCalibration. If you would like a space outdoors, try taking a walk for 5 minutes, and see what you find. Walk to somewhere thats not so familiar. Maybe youll find a comfortable, grassy spot next to a tree. If you live in the city, try walking to a public park.

3.

4.

I hope you are creative and careful choosing your Psycho-Calibration space. It is important to genuinely enjoy the place that you choose. As you calibrate there, you will begin to associate Psycho-Calibration with your place. (So when you think Psycho-Calibration, you will think your place.) As I said before, this is going to be the place where your life transforms, the place where you will be putting the most important minutes of your life into every single day. Im so glad youve decided to make this first step. I know how difficult it is to commit to anything that will drastically improve your life. You did it. Youve taken the first step. Be proud of yourself, and be proud of your new space.

CHAPTER ONE SUMMARY The very first step: Locate or create your own permanent Psycho-Calibration space. Your space should be easy to get to. Your place should seem like an entirely new place, even if it isnt. Your space should have as few distractions as possible, such as uncomfortable temperatures, a hard place to sit, noise, or the presence of other people.

Chapter Two Preparing For Your First Psycho-Calibration Session: Making The Decision That Will Change Your Life

What You Need To Know Counterintuitive Truths About Psycho-Calibration

Now that youve chosen your Psycho-Calibration space, you are ready to begin your practice. But first, its VERY important that you understand WHY it may be difficult your first time. Only by understanding why Psycho-Calibration is difficult can you understand how it can be simple!

Psycho-Calibration Is Difficult In Only One Way

Psycho-Calibration, like any skill, is more difficult at the beginning than at any other time. It is a skill that requires practice and patience to learn. Psycho-Calibration is not difficult in the same sense that complicated mathematics is difficult. It does not require any prerequisite knowledge or exceptional brainpower. It is also not difficult in the same way starting a successful business is difficult. It does not require luck, or intuition, or even hard work. Psycho-Calibration is difficult because it requires willpower. This is extremely important. I will say this over and over, so that you can not be mistaken. The only determining factor in your Psycho-Calibration success is YOUR willpower.

What Do I Mean Willpower?

Let me give you an example: Imagine you are trying to never eat sugar again. For most people, including myself, this would be very difficult.

Why? It sounds easy, doesnt it? To succeed in that goal, simply stop purchasing food with sugar. And if you already have sugary foods, all you have to do is prevent yourself from moving your hand into the pantry and reaching for that sugary snack. Its not brain surgery. It doesnt involve luck. Just stop doing it. Why is that so difficult?

The Difficulty Of Following A Decision

One of the main reasons why it is difficult to follow a decision is because of our emotions. We feel like breaking your decision, and so we do. (We will discuss this in detail in Chapter 9.) The other main reason has to do with the way the decision is worded. Again, our example decision is worded as: Never eat sugar again. But from what we know about how the brain works, this is almost impossible to follow! For example: Try not thinking of a pink elephant. Chances are, you thought of a pink elephant. That may be all you are thinking about! This is because of the way our brains interpret language. We do not read a sentence and comprehend it immediately. We read each word separately and then make sense of the sentence as a whole. The way our brain reacts to our decision not to eat sugar is like this: Never (Im being scolded! your mind thinks. This isnt fun. Im being told what NOT to do.) Result: Pain Eat (Your mind thinks of eating. The pleasures of eating. How hungry you are at that moment. Mmmm I could really EAT something right now! your mind thinks.)

Result: Hunger Sugar (Sugar, sugar, sugar, your mind thinks. Oh, I LOVE sugar. A big brownie sounds absolutely wonderful right now. This, especially, is where your decision falls apart. Youre going to think about sugar even more!) Result: Focus on Sugar Again (Oh my God, this means I can never EVER eat sugar AGAIN? you wonder, Is this a prison sentence? How absolute! And because of this your mind reasons, Well, since Ill have a lifetime of not eating sugar, I might as well enjoy this brownie now just this once one last time.) Result: Loss of Control Amazingly, rather than motivating you to stop eating sugar, the decision has the following effect: It makes you feel hurt, hungry, obsessing over sugar, and without a sense of control. NO WONDER DIETS ARE SO DIFFICULT! In summary: When considered as a whole, a decision can seem like a great idea. When considered as separate words (which is how your brain works), each word can evoke something that makes the decision more difficult to follow.

How To Phrase Your Decision To Calibrate Every Day The Right Way, So That You Keep Your Commitment And Start Seeing Results
Psycho-Calibration is not something that you do. For lack of a better description, it is the absence of doing. It is a submission of thought and a submission of action for a better, truer way of understanding yourself and the world. Therefore, it is incorrect to decide to calibrate everyday. Thats right

Deciding To Calibrate Doesnt Work!

Say you decide to calibrate 7 minutes a day the time Ive suggested in my program. Every moment, youll be thinking: I should be calibrating now. Oh, look, I have 7 minutes to calibrate. Okay, Im trying to calibrate. Calibrate. Okay, now I have 6 minutes left. Time to calibrate! It sounds like a Zen koan, but in order to calibrate, you must not attempt to calibrate! So the word and the concept of Psycho-Calibration must not be in your decision to follow this program! The program is something else entirely . . .

Clear Your Head Of Other Relaxation Methods 7-Minute Psycho-Calibration Is Different!

Heres what makes Psycho-Calibration different than meditation or relaxation. Lots of mediation schools teach you to think of nothing. Others teach you to move your awareness to a certain location, such as your feet. Both of these methods are counterproductive. Thinking of nothing is even more impossible than not thinking of a pink elephant. Moving your awareness to your hands, feet, neck, etc. will get you to think about your hands, feet, neck, etc. And Im sure thats not what youre looking for. Sure, guided meditation might be useful for basic relaxation, but it is very limited. Another method Ive seen in meditation is chanting a specific syllable over and over (called a mantra). This is actually one of the better methods. It is the method used in the popular Transcendental Meditation program, which was used, and later abandoned, by The Beatles, among other celebrities. It currently has a $2,500 price tag and millions of members. Repeating a phrase over and over works because it distracts your mind away from interruptions in your practice, such as your constant stream of thoughts. The actual mantra does nothing. The benefit comes in, so to speak, as you are distracted and occupied with repeating the, often nonsensical, phrase. However, repeating a mantra is not the best method.

Chanting a mantra distracts you from some of the mental and personal benefits that you can only get from Psycho-Calibration, such as new insights into your life and incredible creativity. In summation, chanting a mantra, thinking of nothing, and guided meditaiton can be effective relaxations techniques, and they can even lead to the same benefits of PsychoCalibration, but they are often too distracting or too inadequate to provide the transformative power that comes readily with Psycho-Calibration. Im not saying this to boast. Im saying this from experience. In true Psycho-Calibration, you are striving for nothing. Not striving to calibrate. Not striving for an empty mind. Not striving for guiding your focus. Not striving to repeat a silly phrase or syllable.

Your Decision Is As Simple As One Word

Your decision will simply be this. I will sit now. Thats all. It is not a counterproductive mental command. It is simply staying in a physical position. Its not even permanent. In Chapter 7, we will discuss when you SHOULD break this commitment and MOVE. Trust me, exactly when to break this commitment is one of the most incredible innovations of Psycho-Calibration. Of course, you arent just sitting theres more to it than that. But all that you should decide on doing is simply sitting in the designated position. Thats it! Once you are sitting, there is no other goal, nothing that you must strive for. Striving for something, even if it is repeating a simple phrase, is counterproductive to PsychoCalibration. Once again, heres an example of a bad decision:

Every day, for the rest of my life, I will calibrate for 7 minutes.

This is a good decision: I will sit now.

CHAPTER TWO SUMMARY Your only decision when you enter your Psycho-Calibration space is to sit. If you create any other kind of commitment, most likely it will be counterproductive to your Psycho-Calibration. The way you word your decision is one of the main factors as to whether or not you will follow that decision. Forget other techniques to relax or meditate. They may confuse you and cause you to strive for something that Psycho-Calibration is not.

The Four Steps To Psycho-Calibration

Chapter Three Step One: Sit

Remember. Your decision is, I will sit now, and thats it! Now, its time to start following your decision

How To Master Your Very First Psycho-Calibration Session

Lets rundown a list of what youve done so far: You have chosen your Psycho-Calibration space. You have read Chapter 2 and understand that your only commitment for today is to sit. You have also cleared your mind of any Psycho-Calibration techniques you have learned previously. Once you have completed these steps, congratulations! You are now ready to start.

What To Bring, What To Leave

If you need to stop calibrating at a certain time (say youre on your lunch break), bring an alarm. What I do is I set the alarm on my cellphone, although I make sure to turn the ringer OFF so that I dont get interrupted by calls. An alarm is a good idea because you do NOT want to be constantly watching your clock, wondering if too much time has passed. Let the alarm surprise you. I also suggest that you print out this section of your eBook and take it with you for guidance and if you need to remember what to do.

The Importance Of Your Position

When you sit, it is very important that you keep your back straight. This is to keep you alert. Just as frowning has been proven to make people less happy, slouching will evoke in you feelings of lethargy. Feeling tired is a distraction from your practice. When youre sitting, I recommend your back remains straight and your head is held up high. If you are unable to sit with your back straight, or the discomfort of the position is too much for you to handle, try your own posture when sitting. The important thing is to not lie down and to stay moderately still when you are in position.

Why Posture And Sitting Are Absolutely Crucial To Quickly Reaping The Benefits Of Psycho-Calibration
It is possible to calibrate in any position. However, lets start by sitting down, in the position I just described. Sitting is easy, right? But when we sit in position, our minds come up with plenty of reasons to stop sitting, and this is why it seems difficult. This difficulty is in your mind.

CHAPTER THREE SUMMARY Go into your Psycho-Calibration space without being concerned with time. (If you have to, set an alarm and then forget about it immediately. Let the alarm surprise you.) Sit back straight, head up if you can, and commit yourself to sitting. Although you can calibrate in almost any position, sitting is best, as you can be distracted and overly-involved doing something else.

Chapter Four Step Two: Evoking Pain

Even if you had no clue what you were doing, but you simply devoted yourself to sitting in position for long enough, you would eventually start seeing benefits. It would simply take a long, long time. Legend has it that by simply sitting under a tree, following no practice, having no guide, the Buddha discovered the secret to happiness. It took him years, however, sitting by himself. He had to figure everything out on his own. But you dont have to go at it alone! There are techniques you will use to make 100 percent use of your time sitting, speeding up the Psycho-Calibration process outrageously. This is the rocket fuel of Psycho-Calibration. . . . Are you ready?

Lets Get Real

I assume that you really want to deal with the issues of your life and not just hope for a miracle. A miracle isnt coming. In order to live a better life, you need to deal with whats really hurting you. Only when you understand what is holding you back will you be able to spring forward and start living a better life.

How Evoking Pain Is The Shortest Path To Pleasure

Why does pain exist? Pain is a messenger. Its a good thing that we have pain, because it tells us if our finger is lying on a hot stove or if weve hurt someone who is close to us. People who cannot feel pain fall victim to accidents and cannot relate to others. Pain gets us to stop doing things it thinks are harmful to us and harmful to those we care about. That is its only purpose. To modify our behavior.

The good news is, once we understand our pain by observing it rather than avoiding it, we can get the message, and the pain is gone! This leads us not just to the absence of pain, but to incredible joy. Lets try this right now . . .

How To Harness The Power Of Pain

While you are sitting, your mind will be thinking about many different parts of your life. But to accelerate your results, lets get right to the painful parts. I want you to focus on all parts of yourself that dissatisfy you, that hurt, that you are ashamed of. Start with your immediate pain. If you are uncomfortable because of the position you are sitting in, dont squirm away from the pain. Focus on it. Observe how it feels. I want you to focus upon and observe your mental pain as well. If you currently feel depressed, anxious, stressed, or in physical pain, focus upon this pain. I want you to experience all of your pain that is hiding. Ways to bring out your pain: Think of when you were recently embarrassed. Think of those you have disappointed recently and recall the situation. Think about something you keep putting off, or an obligation youve failed to withhold. Think about some lousy luck youve had recently, or some money youve lost needlessly Think about worries for the future: financial worries, relationship worries, health worries. Think of your pain as a noise, and I want you to turn it up! It is very important for you to turn up you pain, because we naturally repress pain and therefore do not deal with it completely. Ways to turn up your pain:

 Accept your pain, and focus upon it. What is it trying to tell you? If your pain has an image associated with it, make it larger, crisper, and more detailed. If this pain has a sound associated with it, make it louder. Visualize the pain actually growing, inflating, filling the room, or imagine that you are diving into it. Make the feeling tangible and real.

Now, below Ive included a general hierarchy of pain. At the top is pain you are presently aware of. Near the bottom is pain that you are only subconsciously aware of. When you resolve the pain of one level, move down to the next level. First Level: Your Current Pain Weak Pain: The mere discomfort of the sitting itself. Feeling tired or bored. Strong Pain: Overwhelming anguish, overwhelming physical pain, depression, and a strong desperation to rid yourself of this pain. Second Level: Recent Issues You Are Currently Ignoring Weak Pain: Minor insecurities, slip-ups, failures, grumbles and worries about daily life. Strong Pain: Recent personal tragedy, such as the death of a loved one. Strong insecurities, recent emotional issues. Third Level: Memories Buried From Your Past / Worries For Your Future Weak: Issues that you have already dealt with. Issues that are no longer painful. Minor worries for the future, such as worrying about the success of a sports team. Strong: Traumatic past experiences that affect your present condition. Paralyzing fears for the future, such as a fear that you and your loved ones will be hurt. Fourth Level: Your Identity Weak: Typical insecurities, uncertainty in your life, the desire to be better.

Strong: Feelings of inadequacy, feeling unworthy of being loved, feeling like a failure, feeling without purpose or meaning. Fifth Level: Your Fear of Death Weak: You accept the idea of death, are willing to think about it, but do not wish to die because you enjoy life. You are frightened only when in great immediate danger. Strong: You refuse to think about the fact that you are going to die. Because you will not think about death, although you are very frightened of it, your fear manifests in other ways: phobias, overreactions to non-life-threatening health risks, such as common germs, a desperate need for the idea of an afterlife.

The ONLY Way To Get Rid Of Pain Is To Accept It

Are you ready to stop suffering from all levels of pain? Again, think of pain as a messenger. More specifically, pain is a messenger we often dont want to deal with. Think of pain as a bill. The electric bill or an expensive credit card bill. Bills are lousy messages to get. We want to leave them in the mailbox. The smartest thing to do, of course, would be to pay the bill immediately, ship it out, and never see it again. The stupidest thing to do would be to not open the mailbox at all and let the bills pile up. And thats what we tend to do with our pain. We let it pile up. The pain remains in the mailbox of our mind, accumulated in a big pile, and because of this we become stressed. Stress is having the pain all there, having that pile in our minds at all times. And new pain is added to the pile, more and more pain you are ignoring, until finally it must be dealt with, all of it. And this is when you break down. Because the pain becomes too much for you to handle. You can prevent this from happening. You can get rid of 100 percent of your stress by dealing with all of your pain. Fortunately . . .

There Is A Way To Deal With Pain Quickly, Easily, And Painlessly

Pain is gone once we understand and accept what it is trying to tell us. The reason why we cannot get the message, so to speak, is because we have a natural aversion to pain. Pain is an unpleasant messenger, and therefore, we choose to ignore it. Usually, we do not listen to our pain, but we respond: we respond with action, we respond by pushing our pain aside, we respond by worrying, and we respond with forced positive thinking. Least of all do we wish to sit down with our pain and let it speak out everything that it wants to say. But that is exactly what we are going to do. Because, fortunately, there is a technique that makes listening to pain fun and completely painless! It is entirely crucial to PsychoCalibration. We discuss this technique in the next chapter . . .

CHAPTER FOUR SUMMARY Pain is a messenger. Rather than avoiding pain and letting the messages accumulate, it is best to actually listen to the message. Listening to the message of our pain is uncomfortable for us. That is why we use the technique discussed in Chapter 5. Painful areas of your life can be focused on and recalled from memory. They can also be amplified by visualization exercises and other tricks. This is to get pains full message finally, in its totality, as it has been previously ignored. There is a hierarchy of pain, all the way to the fear of death, which is the most deeply rooted. To be completely and utterly without stress, you can move all the way down through this hierarchy, recalling all of your pain and ridding yourself of it, even the fear of death.

Chapter Five Step Three: Identify Yourself As The Observer

Start thinking of yourself as two selves. There is one self that observes and one self that thinks, feels, and reacts. (Unlike the content of many other programs, Psycho-Calibration does not engage in pseudo-philosophy or any unscientific claim of the mind. This is a general, working metaphor to how your mind actually operates.) You can test this right now by observing your current thoughts. Isnt it possible, right now, to observe your thoughts? Isnt it possible to observe your emotions? If you only had one self, and that self was comprised of your thoughts and emotions, you could not observe that self. The self could not observe itself; it could only add more thoughts and emotions. With only one self, you would have a brain like that of an insect, incapable of introspection, incapable of viewing or understanding its own behavior. We are human beings, and therefore, we have two selves, an impartial observing self and self that includes all of your thoughts and emotions.

Your Pain Is In Your Thoughts And Emotions Not In The Observer

All of your pain exists in one of these two selves: the self of your thoughts and emotions. Pain is, quite simply, an emotion. The other self, the self that observes, is painless, thoughtless, and emotionless. In order to deal with the pain you have recalled and focused upon, you must identify with the observer.

The Loving Relationship Of Your Two Selves: Just Like Parent And Child
Now, bear with me as I try another analogy.

The relationship between your two selves, the observer and your thoughts and emotions, is very much like the relationship between a parent and child. And exactly what is true with parenting is true with how you should treat your mind. 1. The child is happier if the parent gives the child attention. Without parental observation, a child can easily become destructive, get into trouble, become selfish, and ultimately hurt himself. Spend time with your kids. The same is true with your thoughts and emotions. If you observe your thoughts and emotions, they will become more pleasant and less destructive. If you leave them alone, they will become unhappy, irresponsible, undeveloped. This is one of the simplest ways to understand why Psycho-Calibration improves your life. 2. Without any discipline, the child will become unhappy and often dysfunctional. An unruly child without any discipline enforced will ignore the parent, no matter how attentive the parent is. This is why I suggest sitting in position for at least 7 minutes every day. The act of sitting instills discipline upon your thoughts and emotions. When a child is unruly, a good parent sits the child down and confronts him, sternly but acceptingly, asking Whats the problem? This is what we do in PsychoCalibration, too. We bring up the problem immediately, the problem of pain, and we continue sitting until that problem is resolved. 3. Too much discipline and the child rebels. A good parent only instills discipline to correct behavior, such as rudeness or violence, that will eventually make their child unhappy. Discipline should never be enforced simply to enforce discipline. We should not get carried away and sit still for 4 days straight. We should not become masochists.

Psycho-Calibration is based only on observing negative emotions, to get rid of them, and increasing positive emotions. Once the pain is gone, once you are happy, go out and live your life. 4. Parents are only needed in the beginning. Then the child grows up. In a good relationship, over time the child becomes happier and healthier and will eventually be able to exist on his own. When you start having a good relationship with your self, your thoughts and emotions will improve, up to the point when you dont need to calibrate anymore. Of course, children do, out of sheer joy and love, want to visit their parents. And you will want to continue to calibrate. Your mind will become more and more disciplined (that means greater productivity, greater effectiveness) and also increasingly calm and joyful. You will enjoy Psycho-Calibration more, and it will be easier. Your life will also be better even when you arent calibrating. 5. The parent is responsible for the child. The child is not responsible for the parent, and not yet responsible for himself. Most people give full responsibility to their thoughts and emotions. They act on a thought, or they act on a feeling. But there is nothing you can think and nothing you can feel that will drastically change your life. This is because trying to change your life with thoughts and emotions is exactly the same as if you were handing all of your responsibility over to a child! If you woke up one morning and decided that you were going to keep a flawlessly healthy diet for the rest of your life, I would guess that you will break your commitment in less than 24 hours. This is because the decision came from thoughts and emotions. You woke up and felt like making a decision. And once those thoughts and emotions are replaced with other thoughts and emotions, the decision is broken. So be easy on your thoughts, easy on your emotions. Put your responsibility on being aware of your thoughts, aware of your emotions. Make it your responsibility to become the observer.

6. When the relationship is healthy, parents and children feel love towards each other. Do you feel the emotion of love with yourself, just like you felt with your high school sweetheart or now with your children? Well, you should. And you can. Such a level of constant happiness is absolutely obtainable. It is simply the healthiest psychological state possible. When you feel a sense of active love, you are succeeding in your Psycho-Calibration practice. (More on love in the next chapter!)

How To Give Authority To The Observer And Start Changing Your Life
Again, your problem is a lack of observation for your thoughts and emotions, which are controlling your life. You must give authority back to the observer by identifying yourself as the observer. Everyday we identify ourselves as our thoughts and emotions, but very rarely do we think of ourselves as the observation of these thoughts and emotions. This is quite the imbalance. This is not something you can just understand intellectually. This must be put into practice as you sit in your position and are focused upon pain. The easiest way to identify yourself as the observer is to focus on your pain, then focus on the distance between yourself and your pain. As you observe pain, think of it in an entirely separate place, as if floating next to your face, or even across the room. You can also ponder upon a question, like: How could this pain be both a part of me and be observed by me? (Of course, the answer is, it cannot. To be able to observe something means that you are separate from it. Without a mirror, my eyes cannot see themselves. My eyes, however, can see a dog walking in the park, as the dog is separate from my eyes. In the same way, it is proved that we are separate from our thoughts and emotions because we can observe them.)

CHAPTER FIVE SUMMARY You have two selves: your thoughts and emotions and that which observes your thoughts and emotions. Because pain is an emotion, the observational self is painless. Identifying yourself as this self is the secret to Psycho-Calibration bringing you joy and pain relief. To identify yourself as the observer of your thoughts and emotions, focus upon the distance between your pain and your actual self. It is not actually affecting you, is it? You are watching pain, listening to pain, all the while without pain. A great analogy for the Psycho-Calibration process is one between a parent and child. The parent is who you truly are (the observer), and the child is your personality, embodied by your name, the product of the parent but not the parent itself. Without discipline and an observer, the child becomes unruly, overindulgent, and hurts himself. The child is happier being observed by the parent, and this is why Psycho-Calibration makes you happier: you are happier when looked after.

Chapter Six Love

Unfortunately, the word love has been used so often and so cheaply that it has all but lost its meaning. When I talk about love, Im not talking about romantic love. Im not talking about heart aflutter, lovey-dovey stuff. Love is simply feeling united with something else. It is the opposite of separation and isolation. You happily give things to people that you love. You give possessions, money, time, patience. Thats because, its just like keeping it yourself. They are a part of you! Love provides us the greatest feeling of all feelings in the human experience. In a way, we become larger with love, since love unites us with parts of the world. The feeling of love is the feeling of gratitude. It is one of the greatest feelings in all of human experience.

How To Love . . . In 10 Sentences

Love is a mystery. But it can be defined, and it can be taught. As I said before, love is the desire to become one with something. What we love whether its music, people, paintings, or foodwe are grateful to have as a part of our lives. So during your Psycho-Calibration session, after you have observed your pain, start allowing everything to be a part of your life. Let everything in, and feel grateful! Even strangers passing by on the street, even people who have hurt you before . . . even objects in the room! Love everything by letting it have significance in your life.

How To Love Yourself (Even If You Screw Up Big Time)

You have heard the phrase unconditional love, I assume. You need to unconditionally love yourself. This is the purest form of love and can only be done by identifying yourself as the observer. Your thoughts and emotions create conditions constantly, but the observer is unconditional. Again, think of the relationship between a parent and child. The best parents understand that their children are inherently good, even when they do something that is bad. The best parents always love their children and are aware enough to understand the meaning of their behavior and accept it for what it is. If a child cries, it is because the child is upset, not because the child is bad. Likewise, you are not bad if you do things that make you upset! Love yourself! Observe your failures and inadequacies (and the failures and inadequacies of the world around you) as a parent would view the inadequacies of his or her child.

Turning The Love Up

The feeling of love is an emotion and therefore is created by the self that is composed of thought and emotion, not the observer. The observer inspires the feeling of love just as a parent inspires love in his or her children. To put it more simply, the feeling of love will come naturally from practice if you identify yourself with the observer. Think of love as your thoughts and emotions saying thank you for the observer. And since love is actively produced from your thoughts and emotions, you can work to increase love just as you previously turned up or magnified your pain. If you see a picture in your mind when you are feel love, increase the size of the picture. If you hear a sound, turn up the volume of that sound. Pretend that the love inside you is a puddle that keeps growing. Any kind of mental exercise, no matter how silly, will work. The goal is simply for you to be active about loving.

CHAPTER SIX SUMMARY

 After you have resolved pain, begin to actively love. This happens by observing and accepting everything inside and out and by turning up that feeling with your emotions, just as you turned up your pain earlier. True love is unconditional and must be produced actively. It is not going to fall on your lap. You must accept your mistakes and character faults, and this can be done by observing them.

Chapter Seven Your Daily 7-Minute Restoration Session Summarized, And How To Overcome Common Difficulties In Your Practice
The four steps need not to be in a rigid placement but should be repeated through your Psycho-Calibration session. Again, here are the steps, including more detail as to when they can be used: 1. Sit Your whole session you should be sitting in posture. (Although please read the tip below for an exception.) 2. Bring Out Your Pain This is to accelerate the process. It is the most powerful technique. 3. Identify Yourself As The Observer This should be done as often as possible. All benefits arise from this step. It should be done especially after youve brought out your pain, since you dont want to suffer needlessly from it. 4. Actively Love This keeps the Psycho-Calibration process going and allows you to build momentum. With love, you are move involved in the worldyour life is larger, so to speakand so you have more to work with.

Along with these steps, lets add a few invaluable tips and tricks that will help your first session to go smoothly.

A Tip For Sitting

An important question: When should you break posture? You should break posture as soon as you are distracted by your desire to break your posture. Essentially, when you start wanting to break posture, and you are not observing this want but emotionally reacting to it and thinking about it, you should break posture immediately!

But when you break posture, only break it enough to become comfortable again. I tend to move my spine around and stretch, sometimes standing up. After youve broken posture, think about why you had to break your posture and the pain or discomfort that you previously felt. It will now be very easy to observe this discomfort rather than participate in it, since it is not currently bothering you. Once youve observed your discomfort, return to your position and continue calibrating. You will now be able to sit for longer.

A Tip To Help You Identify Yourself As The Observer

This is perhaps the most difficult step, as we all identify ourselves naturally with our thoughts and emotions. A helpful way to identify ourselves with the observer is to love what you are trying to observe. The emotion of love is the only emotion that works because love implies separateness (it the feeling of two separate things uniting) but is selfless, as is the observer. Other emotions, such as anger, participate with the mind. Love does not participate with the mind; it observes the mind. The observer is selfless, therefore, it only causes love.

How To Solve 5 Other Common Difficulties

1. If your pain is too much for you, and you are simply too overwhelmed to identify yourself as the observer of your pain, then focus for a moment not on your pain but on something simple and natural, such as your breath. Just as we break posture whenever maintaining it becomes distracting, we break our focus from pain whenever it becomes distracting. 2. Other people talking can be the worst distraction and will most likely bother your practice. The best way of dealing with noise is to love the source of that noise. Reach out to them with your heart, so to speak. Believe that they, too, are a human being and are like you. Love is observational by nature, and so you will be able to get the job done that way. 3. The incessant clamor of other responsibilities can ruin a practice. Thinking you have better things to do is a lousy thought and should be observed just like pain.

In fact, it is perfectly common to have negative thoughts towards Psycho-Calibration and the Psycho-Calibration process. Treat these negative thoughts the same way you treat negative emotion. Turn it up and observe it. 4. Tiredness will show itself if you arent getting enough sleep or exercising. Many firsttimers to Psycho-Calibration lie down and fall asleep! The best way to deal with this is to start taking better care of yourself before you calibrate. But while calibrating, evoking pain (Step 2) will often do the trick. When you worry about something, its difficult to fall asleep, isnt it? 5. Social stigma. It sounds silly, but some people might think its weird that you want to calibrate! The way to remedy this is also just a good idea in general: Dont talk about PsychoCalibration and your Psycho-Calibration experiences. This is not a steadfast rule, but a general one that can often be a good idea. Psycho-Calibration is about observing rather than thinking. When we talk about Psycho-Calibration, we think about it, and we get emotional reactions from its inclusion in our social lives. Let people find this new transformation in your life mysterious. Let them guess. Dont tell everyone that youre calibrating now and have become a new person.

Now That You Know It All, Have An Extraordinary First Session!

Now that you understand the four steps, you can start. Go to your Psycho-Calibration place. Remember, your only commitment is to sit. You can use any of the other three steps at any time, and as I mentioned before, it is best to break the first step a little than become consumed with the desire to stand up. I recommend doing this once a day, as we tend to forget what weve learned the previous day after waking up from a night of sleep. After you successfully perform a Psycho-Calibration session (and youll know its successful if youre feeling good!) you can recall that experience throughout the day. How to recollect your Psycho-Calibration bliss even in the most stressful situations is the subject of the next part of this eBook.

Improving All Areas Of Your Life

Chapter Eight The Rest Of Your Day: Recollection And Reinforcement
Youre not going to calibrate all day. I assume you want to live your life, and you want the benefits of Psycho-Calibration for the entire day. Thats why, after your daily session, you are going to recall the feeling of that session throughout the day. In order to do this, we use something called anchoring.

The Power Of Anchoring

Anchoring is the creation of associative links. Anchoring is very powerful. Think of Pavlovs famous dogs, who had the ringing of a bell anchored to eating food. You need an anchor so that during the day, when you cannot calibrate, you can recall the anchor instead and get all the benefits of Psycho-Calibration. Your Psycho-Calibration position is already an anchor. If you return to its position, you will quickly return the Psycho-Calibration mind state, without doing a thing! But you cannot always sit in position. You need a second anchor for when you are moving and for when Psycho-Calibration is inappropriate. You can use anything, so long as you do it while you calibrate. Here are some suggestions: Observe your breathing. This is a good relaxation method and can be done anywhere. Play a song or album that puts you into the Psycho-Calibration mood. Stare at your hand and fingers. Stare into a mirror.

Actually, the best anchor is pain itself. Whenever you feel pain, try identifying yourself as the observer of your pain. Have pain be your best reminder to use some of the techniques youve learned.

Whenever you feel any kind of painanxiety, discomfort, boredom, angeractivate another anchor, such as sitting down or focusing on your breathing. The more times you do this, the stronger the anchors become and the less you suffer from pain. You should recall your Psycho-Calibration via anchors ANY TIME you are in pain. Of course, specific instances in the real world deserve to be discussed in more detail . . . Thats why, in the next chapter, Ive included more than 10 different areas of your life in which Psycho-Calibration can specifically improve.

Chapter Nine Real World Applications For Psycho-Calibration

Psycho-Calibration is meaningless if it cant provide you with practical benefits.

The following is a list of a few areas in your life that Psycho-Calibration can help with. Let this be your secret weapon. If you are having special difficulty with one area in your life, I would suggest deciding to sit in position until you feel good about it, then, as you execute, recall your PsychoCalibration joy so that you dont get stressed and quit. Happiness, and therefore success, is the goal for all of these areas. You can only succeed if you are happy, since suffering is a failure.

Healthy Diet, Healthy Life

It is well-known why the French, who enjoy high-fat foods even more than those in the United States, remain thin and relatively healthy, while the U.S. is in an obesity epidemic. Their attitudes towards the process of eating are simply different. They prefer long dinners, smaller portions but several different courses, and savoring food. In the United States, it is standard to eat one enormous course quickly, stuffing the food in indiscriminately, often while doing something else at the same time, such as watching TV. Psycho-Calibration can be an outstandingly effective tool in having a better diet because it focuses you on the process of eating. 1. Observe the pain of your hunger. If, when you observe your hunger, it stops bothering yougood! Eat only when you are genuinely hungry. 2. Only eat. Dont watch TV. Dont read the newspaper. Focus on every movement of your fork, on the taste of every bite. 3. Be grateful for the fact that you are eating. If you are grateful for the fact that you are able to eat at all, you will enjoy more foods, including healthy food. Now, in order to turn this practice into a diet, I recommend calibrating before going to the grocery store so that you arent controlled by your emotions when youre there. Buy only healthy, nutritious food. If you dont know whats healthy or nutritious, search the internet or purchase a book on diet and health. When you begin your diet, you are going to have occasional and overwhelming cravings for innutritious food. When these occur, I recommend immediate Psycho-Calibration to deal with the craving. Treat the craving just as you would treat any other pain.

How To Stop Procrastinating

Procrastination ultimately comes from pain. We procrastinate because it is painful to do what it is we need to do. Psycho-Calibration is absolutely the best way to deal with procrastination, since PsychoCalibration is the best way to deal with pain. Observe the painful feeling preventing you from doing your work, as you now know how to observe pain. Your attention should be on your emotions, not your decisions. A decision to work means nothing. You will ultimately follow whatever decision your emotional state wants. Another consideration: While you work, you will get ideas of other things to do, and these ideas will at first seem good. Play a game of internet solitaire, you may think, it will get me relaxed and ready to work. These thoughts are coming from pain, but we do not realize it. Turn up these ideas, as in, listen to your mind completely as it is suggesting it. Do not push away distractions: listen to them entirely and observe them. Doing this, they will eventually go away. A final suggestion: While you are working, try to send out your active love, like weve learned in Step 4. Many people love their work. Work is not inherently unpleasant. We simply do not love all work, just as we do not love all peopleand this can be improved. By taking the initiative to love everything, including your work, your life will be much happier. I guarantee, with active love, you can enjoy doing pretty much anything. You need to observe the pain, first, and then, when it no longer hurts, send out your love.

How To Wake Up Happily In The Morning

Most people think alarm clocks are a terrible way to wake up. To them, they make a loud, obnoxious sound, and the snooze button should be smacked violently and as often as possible. But alarm clocks serve a useful function. If you hate your alarm clock so much, why do you have one? Why did you buy one? The first thing you should try thinking of should be: Thank you for waking me up. Although I am tired, I wanted to be woken up. This may sound stupid, but simply having gratitude for your alarm clock increases love and happiness and makes the entire morning better.

Now, I recommend that as soon as you can, you should sit up, in position, on your bed and calibrate until you are well awake, observing your feeling of being tired as you observe pain. Once you are mentally well-awake, you can sit up and begin your morning.

How To Keep Your Cool When Others Arent

We only mind that a person is mean or inconsiderate to us if it hurts. If it doesnt hurt, we laugh or are simply astonished. Rather than the behavior of the other person, it is your pain that is important here, and it should be your pain that is the focus. First and foremost, turn up the pain that you feel because of the persons mean behavior. Then, identify yourself as the observer of this pain, not the pains recipient. After this, you should feel better, but you may still judge the other person, and this will continue to bother you. Although the person was mean to you, I still recommend actively loving the person. We should not love only people who act flawlessly around us. We should even love people who act unpleasantly, and this is much easier to do if the unpleasant behavior stops hurting you. Loving people who are mean is difficult. I suggest trying this: Think about the pain the person must be feeling that would motivate him or her into meanness. All anger and rudeness comes from pain. Completely happy people have not a single complaint and do not wish harm on anyone. Focusing on the other persons pain, once youve resolved your own, allows you to love, and love allows for immense happiness.

Sex, Attraction, And Sexual Tension

If youre single, good news! In the Psycho-Calibration mind state, you are relaxed and confident, and therefore people want to be around you, including potential mates. But Psycho-Calibration will do more than get responses. It may change, for the better, your outlook on sex. Because sex is pleasurable, sex is often used to deal with pain. The only problem with this is that, like drugs, it is a temporary fix. If you are in pain, please, calibrate instead. It will be much more successful and the sex, if you choose to engage in it, will be better, too.

Psycho-Calibration moves your mind from judging others and looking for a way out of pain to loving others and being painless. Judging and using people is exactly what sex should NOT be about. Both men and women do this, and both in the courtship stage and in the bedroom itself. Before you go on a date, and before you make that move, I suggest getting rid of your pain through Psycho-Calibration. Trust me. If you have to wait a few days because your head isnt right, calibrate. Once a sexual relationship (and this could be anything from just-more-than-friends to marriage) is founded on mutual interest rather than looking for a way out of pain, its time for the magic. Sexual activity of any sort is very exciting and pleasurable, but at the same time, it is full of pain and anxiety. We can become self-conscious of our bodies, self-conscious of our approach, self-conscious of our abilities. This is where love comes in. Many people are scared of the idea of loving someone they arent married to, or at least, heavily committed to. This is wrong thinking. Remember, the ultimate goal is to love everything. A good rule of thumb is to love before engaging in any physical, sexual activity. This is not the same as abstinence until marriage. This is the idea of genuinely caring about the other person before you enter into the emotionally intense territory of sex. Again, otherwise, sex is just to feel good, and there are better ways to do this. If you desperately want a romantic partner, you should not calibrate in order to get one. You should calibrate until you are happy with being single. The bizarre thing is, once you do that, chances are you will be much more attractive.

Making Money With Psycho-Calibration

The first step is to be grateful with what you have. Pain prevents us from earning more money. Observation of that pain and being grateful through love eliminates the pain. Before you do anything, be grateful for whatever is in your bank account, be grateful for your job if you have one, be grateful for your financial situation regardless of what it is. If you are fed and have decent shelter, you are doing better than millions upon millions of people in this world.

Being grateful with what you have makes the concept of earning more money more fun. It becomes a bonus rather than something you must do. Some people will say the opposite, that you have to be desperate to succeed, but I disagree. Desperate people often are committed, which is also necessary, but it also has to be fun for you. No one is led to the very top of any field by pain. Pain also prevents us from earning money because it prevents us from taking risks, even ingenious risks, which all the top-earners have done. (Let me take a moment to distinguish a difference here between pain and dissatisfaction. Pain is unproductive to making more money and should be observed through PsychoCalibration. Dissatisfaction is the perfectly healthy feeling that drives creativity and progress.) If you have many deeply rooted issues with money, devotee a Psycho-Calibration session or more to dealing with this. Once you are no longer in pains with your financial state, it can be enjoyable and feasible to make more money. That will be your decision. Like the decision to create art, or the decision to master a game, the decision to make money is a worthy pursuit. Making money should be based on a friendly dissatisfaction, a desire to achieve. To summarize everything: Making money requires creativity, dedication, and risktaking. I will discuss all three.

Improve Creativity
Creativity is not a decision. Many people forget this. Many people think they just need to come up with a million-dollar idea and watch the money roll in. Many people believe that great authors, for instance, simply come up with what they want to write and write it down. Creative people, they believe, come up with good ideas. Creativity is actually less about ideas and more about congruency in execution. There are many good ideas out there. But there are very few people that will congruently execute a good idea so that it becomes real. In other words, creativity is the ability to come up with everything needed to make something new come together.

This is why Psycho-Calibration is very beneficial to creativity. What hurts creativity are ideas that are not congruent to what you are creating. These ideas are usually based on emotional reactions. And Psycho-Calibration gets rid of this. Psycho-Calibration observes the true nature of thoughts and emotions and therefore weeds out inappropriate ideas. For example, if I wish to write a novel about a bitter father/son relationship, if I get the impulse midway to change my mind and write about traveling back in time to see Napoleon, is that because it was my vision all along? Or was it because I was getting frustrated that day with what I was writing? When you deal with your pain in PsychoCalibration, work becomes play again, and you wont come up with desperate ideas and dreams that will distract you. In my case, the novel would be written without hesitation, whatever it turned out to be. It would all be play. I suggest doing a small amount of calibrating to get rid of pain before you even start coming up with ideas. Pain leads to bad ideas and stifles the playful mood creativity needs. Dont try planning what you are going to create, just observe your mind, whatever it is youre thinking. Ideas will come to you. You need to have faith in this! You will not consciously construct the next big idea, but it may very well come to you.

Keeping Commitments And Upholding Responsibilities: The Maturation Of Psycho-Calibration

Many people are afraid of commitmentsespecially in relationshipsbecause they are afraid of investing their time in something that could fail. They are afraid of future pain. I suggest that you focus on observing your present pain first. Happy people are more optimistic about the future. And how could you keep a commitment if, all the while, you were worried that it would fail? Commitments are usually abandoned rather than broken. Psycho-Calibration can help prevent this. Try calibrating once where you recall all of the commitments, responsibilities, and promises youve made with people. This could be a great burden if you really calibrate, so youll have to really make sure to identify yourself as the observer of this burden rather than have it actually burden you. As the observer, all of these commitments will come into a new light.

I do not believe that you can simply decide to follow all of your responsibilities and commitments. You can, however, through Psycho-Calibration observe that they exist and observe the pain and burden that they cause, thereby getting rid of the pain, as truly observing pain ends it. And commitments without pain are happily taken. There is a pleasure in fulfilling commitment.

Shatter Your Fear And Start Taking Smart Risks

Fear is simply the drive to avoid pain. When pain is gone, of course, fear is gone too. Thats why Psycho-Calibration is an essential tool to removing fear, since it removes your pain. And you really should get rid of your fear! Fear prevents us from doing anything bold, anything with risk. Anything that is great was once risky, from a new idea to a loving relationship. If you can live a great life, why not? Only fear is preventing you. To get rid of the fear and the underlying pain, turn up the fear and identify yourself as the observer. Let your fear go wild! Let it come up with every ridiculous idea you can think of! If youre afraid of taking a new job, for instance, let your fear go from: Maybe I wont like it to Maybe Ill become homeless and live on the street and my spouse will divorce me and Ill get bitten by fleas every day! The more extreme your fear is taken, the better. We want to see all of what is causing our pain so we can observe it. Once we observe pain, remember, it no longer bothers us. After you feel painless, you are ready to make a decision. The decision should just come to you. It wont always be the riskiest decision, but it will be the right one, without fear.

Never Feel Bored Again

Calibrate whenever you are bored. Being bored is a great time to calibrate. Boredom implies that you are wasting time. Boredom is the feeling that you are not really living life, and that is the greatest waste of all.

In fact, if you always calibrated when you were bored, your life would transform incredibly! You would even grow to like feeling bored, as it would be a happy reminder to start calibrating. Boredom is another form of pain and should be treated as such. Observe your boredom and all of its aspects. What does it feel like? Can we magnify the feeling? Boredom is observed but not felt. It is inspected, looked over, wondered at, although indifferently. Love is the ultimate boredom killer, and so it is especially this step that does boredom in. When you are in love with someone, you can do absolutely nothing together and be happy. The same is true with being by yourself and loving.

How To Become More Loving And Patient With Your Children

Psycho-Calibration will make you more loving and patient with your children. Too often parents shout at their kids for misbehaving, which is usually just the child talking loudly or running around. This is especially the case in public, when parents can be especially expecting a certain behavior in their child. Too often the parent is focused on the childs behavior and not the parents own emotion. The next time your child upsets you, turn that pain up inside you and observe it. Is a loud voice really that bad? Why do you want to shout at your child? If you love your child and you do not shelter him or her because of your fear that he or she will be hurt, your child will be healthy and happy. This is more important than instilling discipline. Of course, if your child is hurting you or others, let the child know that you are hurting others. You should be firm. Simply telling your child that they are hurting someone will most of the time due the trick. If it doesnt, use more authority, but never lash out against your child. If you do lash out against your child, you must deal with this. I suggest PsychoCalibration to really come to terms with what you did and why.

Chapter 10 Failures, Disappointments, And Secrets

What If Psycho-Calibration Just Doesnt Work For Me? I Try And Try . . . But It Doesnt Work!
Ive been there. Its frustrating. Maybe youve seen little glimmers of it working, but you just cant get the big results. Thats rough. Most likely, however, it is not that Psycho-Calibration doesnt work for you. Its just that you havent figured it out yet. And thats fine. Psycho-Calibration is tricky, and once you do get it, youll have an added appreciation for Psycho-Calibration. Here are common failures that occur and how to resolve them: 1. I just cant sit in the position for very long. As was mentioned in Chapter 7, whenever you have a distracting desire to get out of position that you simply cannot observe passively, you should obey that desire and get out of position. However, when you do this, only break your position enough to appease the thought. What I do is, I stand up for a bit and stretch my spine. Once the pain of sitting in position goes away, you can return in position and continue your session. Do this as many times as you need. Stop calibrating once you feel happy and painless. It will happen. Even if it takes over an hour, it will happen. You need to really commit to it if its your first time. The first time is always the hardest, because you dont have that feeling of joy to recall. 2. My pain is too great. I cant observe it at all. I just become depressed. Your brain chemistry plays a big part in your Psycho-Calibration practice. If you are chemically depressed, Psycho-Calibration is much more difficult. I suggest, if you are having trouble with your practice, to do something that will change your brain chemistry. Eat if you havent done so. Exercise works miracles, too. Exercising before Psycho-Calibration is a great idea. Make sure you get plenty of sleep, too. 3. I have no idea how to observe my thoughts without thinking about them.

This means you are thinking too much. Observation becomes a very real phenomenon that you are immediately aware of once your thoughts are focused enough to observe. In our daily lives, we dont observe our thoughts because we simply have too many! I would suggest focusing on something simple, like your breath, for a while to decrease the amount of thoughts. While this happens, just try imagining that you are outside of your thoughts, that you are actually looking at themwow, look theres a thought, theres an emotion! 4. I have no idea how to love myself. I dont like myself, at least parts of myself. As I said before, true love is unconditional. Just as a parent does not have to like his or her child to love the child, you do not have to like all of the actions that you have done to love yourself. A simple way to love yourself is to believe in the analogy I have been using and to just think of your thoughts, emotions, and actions as coming from a child! We believe children are innocent and inherently good, even if they do evil. Why shouldnt we assume the same for adults? At least, assume the same for yourself. Treat yourself as if you are nave and need attention.