Women and Leadership | 1

Running Head: Women and Leadership

Pop Culture Book Review Her Place at the Table: A womans guide to five key challenges to leadership success

Leah Beth Parsons Queens University of Charlotte Comm 628: Leader and Communication July 19th, 2010

Leah Beth Parsons

Women and Leadership | 2 Pop Culture Book Review: Her Place at the Table

Gender disparity within the work force has been a topic of conversation and debate since I can remember. It has taken our society a very long time to accept the fact that women can become leaders. Yes, there have been women leaders since the beginning of time: Queen Victoria, Maria Antoinette, Betty Ford, women in the bible; however the number of men who were considered leaders far outweighs the number of women. We have been expected to take the submissive role and stand behind the man, but that time has come to an end. Women can be leaders and society better get ready!! Deborah Kolb, Judith Williams, and Carol Frohlinger created a guide to help women who wanted to become leaders. This guide, or better yet book, is titled Her place at the table: A womans guide to negotiating five key challenges to leadership success. In this book Kolb, Williams and Frohlinger give us the five main challenges that women must face in order to become leaders in their profession. Each challenge is paired with the common mistakes as well as the strategic moves one should take to avoid mistakes and embrace the challenge. These five challenges are: Intelligence, backing of key players, resources, buy-in, and making a difference. Intelligence (Digging Deep): This is a challenge that never stops. Just the other day I heard someone say, If you tell others everything you know, you lose power. Personally I dont agree with this statement, but I do understand why some may. One of the things we have discussed this semester is power. A form of power is expertise, which comes from knowledge and experience. We have also stated that intelligence is a leadership trait, according to the trait theory. The more you know

Women and Leadership | 3 the more power and leadership you are able to provide. A good leader never stops learning. According to Kolb, Williams, and Frolinger, one should not only obtain knowledge, but use the acquired knowledge. Not every position is the best position for you. A successful person will make sure that they fully understand the job requirements, the expectations, the people they will be working with as well as the problems they must face, before they agree to the position. Many times a person will take on a new role, because it is considered a leadership position, before assessing the actually job - this is big mistake. Dont assume. There are four common traps: 1) Forgetting that fit and office culture matter: You should know the underlying norms and values within the office, so that you can see where you may fit. If you and your potential colleagues do not agree, then this may not work in your favor. Be wary of dissonance, this is a warning sign that you may not be welcomed. 2) Letting the title overshadow the actually duties: It is easy to get caught up in a title (this offers legitimate power). People assume that because of a title others will work with you this is not always true. There are often negative aspects to a job, do not ignore these. Listen to the bad news to help you make the best decision for you. 3) Not understanding the challenges: research and have a clear understanding of the problem(s) you have been charged to fix and how to fix the problem(s).

Women and Leadership | 4 4) Forgetting that you have a choice: It is ok to say no to a job offer. We, especially women, forget that we can say no. There are many positions out there and it is better to say no than to say yes and fail. If you do say no, make sure you explain your reasoning know your bargaining position. In order to by-pass these traps and succeed here are the strategic moves that are offered: 1) Tap into networks: Go out a get multiple perspectives of the new job from within and outside the organization. Find out the pros and cons. This will later help you find those who will support you and those who will not. 2) Engage with others in the office: Test your relationship skills. Really try to know if you will be able and willing to work with these new people. Do you have commonalities and do they respect and trust you? Can you work together? 3) Confront confusion: Make sure that you and others have a clear understanding of your new roles and the expectations. If you do not agree with something speak up. Find out why you were hired, to make sure there is no confusion in who they think you are or what you can accomplish. 4) Anticipate the blockers: Identify the people who were passed over for your role as well as those who might be resentful. Be willing to address and confront these issues. Anticipate resistance to change. People are scared of change and need to feel as though it is their idea.

Women and Leadership | 5 This is one of the most valuable tools that one can have, because it can never be taken from you. Understanding who you are, your weakness and strengths, as well as how you work with people will allow you to be extremely competitive within the work force. It will allow you to negotiate your positions so that you will have the opportunity to succeed. Many people fail because they set themselves up for failure they forget to research the position. Backing of key players (negotiating for critical support): In order to be a leader others must perceive you as a leader. Therefore you will be scrutinized, criticized, and sometimes supported. Having others support is crucial. This is not something that just comes with a position, true leadership must be negotiated. The common traps that people fall into with this challenge are: 1) Thinking they dont need the support of others. 2) Forgetting about others concerns. 3) Not anticipating the negative first reactions. 4) Forgetting the big picture, focusing only on the small immediate problems. 5) Not asking for help. The strategic moves that help women stay away from these traps are: 1) Work out the expectations: Develop relationships with those around you so that you know and understand each others needs. Create ground rules so that others know what is and is not acceptable. While giving people leadership opportunities, as well as meaning to their current position.

Women and Leadership | 6 2) Build mutual respect: As a leader you should initiate the relationship and be ready for any issues that may arise within the office, especially during critical moments. 3) Work out the rules of engagement: Focus on the process and the treatment of others. Define when and how you should act with leaders in the organization as well as during down/personal time. Learn from one another remember your way is not always the best way. 4) Secure strategic responsibilities: Leave old ideas and responsibilities in the past. Create clear objectives and then delegate responsibilities. Make sure that people know you are serious about the new agenda and then be transparent. Keeping things clear and visible is crucial to building support. If people feel confused or as though they have been thrown under the bus, they will turn on you. 5) Have key leaders make the case for you: If you can get others in leadership positions to support you, then they will get the others on board. Create a persuasive introduction that makes people want to like and support you, not fear you. When making changes, tryout these ideas on new people before presenting them to the group. This will make others feel as though it was their idea. 6) Seed storytelling opportunities: Let others tell your story for you. Seek out the opinion leaders and get them on your side. Find a way to create connections with others, so when they think of one those good connections they think of you

Women and Leadership | 7 Finding and building support is not easy, but it is necessary. Follow the leadermember exchange theory and make all individuals feel as though they are part of the in-group. Resources (Garner resources, negotiating key allocations): Resources are the things necessary to get the job done, such as an adequate budge. This however, must be negotiated. In order to garner the correct and appropriate resources you must correlate the expectations with the allocation of resources, which means create priorities. This is not an easy task and people can often fall to these common traps: 1) Not adjusting the expectations with regards to the resources: People think they can just get by with what they have. 2) Forgetting that it is the outcomes that people remember, not the work: The CEO and stakeholders care about the bottom line, they will never see what it took to get there, they just want to know if you did or did not meet your goal. 3) Dont be blinded by a budget: This can be adjusted, and sometimes you can find creative ways to do things that will save money in the end. 4) Not understanding the resources are a symbol of influence: Those who are respected and known, get what they ask for. Become a respected and valued leader. Here are a few tips to help keep you from making these mistakes:

Women and Leadership | 8 1) Align requests to your overarching objectives: Think critically before asking for something; is it necessary and will it help in the end. You will then want to show others how your request will solve the big picture, not just your departments problem. Show others successful outcomes, due to adequate resources and remember that different resources are necessary at different times during the work cycle. 2) Appeal to others: Know the key interests, not just the budget, of others. Find out how your department benefits and connects with others. Remember that no two people are the same, so you will have to reach out to each individual regarding their specific needs. Anticipate the needs and demands of your office and others, so that you can ask for resources in advance. 3) Enlist partners to support the case: By connecting with others you will see that various individuals have a stake in the decision. Make sure you have support and utilize the experts as well as those closest to the situation. 4) Leverage success: Create goals that are connected to the big picture so that others can see success. Be willing to pilot new ideas that could benefit your department and organization, while making sure your actions and successes are visible to others. Visible and sustainable results will build a case for adequate resources. The best teams can fail if they do not have the equipment to succeed. Remember you are your teams advocate, resources are just another obstacle. As we learned in path goal theory, a leader defines the goals, clarifies the path, removes the obstacles, and provides support.

Women and Leadership | 9 Buy In (Bring people on board: Negotiate Buy-In): A successful leader is someone that can encourage others to adapt to various situations while building trust. They engage others and pay attention to those around them as well as the situations. They are committed and find a way to make others commit. Women have to face various traps in this challenge because of past societal norms: 1) Forgetting to adapt your plan: Your way is not always the best way. A good leader will adapt her plan based on the individuals and situation at hand. You cant always predict every possible situation. 2) Internalizing the problem: It is very easy to become personally attached to the problem. Remember you are responsible for solving the problem not for the problem. 3) Thinking that support from superiors is enough. 4) Avoiding issues and/or resistance: Avoidance is not the key. Negativity and resistance will spread to others if you do not confront the issues and problems in a timely manner. Here are few key strategic moves to conquer societal norms and find buy-in from others: 1) Listen: Find out what people are thinking by getting acquainted with others. Engage participation by holding one on one meetings and group meeting where others can express their thoughts and opinions. Dont forget to get outside opinions, sometimes we are too close to know and see what is happening and what is perceived by others.

Women and Leadership | 10 2) Help solve problems: Dont just sit around and wait for something to come your way, take action. Align individuals to their interests and strengths so they are engaged and excited about their job. If an issue arises, within or outside the organization then address the issues in adequate time - do not avoid. Dont be afraid of difficult or pressing problems. As the leader; be willing to address and fix these problems. 3) Forge broad links: Offer to help others and enlist others to help, not work for you. Show others that there is no other alternative and that you must work together. Create and sustain alliances by inviting others to join. 4) Create opportunities to learn: Open dialogue helps to create a shared vision. By leveraging mistakes you help others accept and then learn from their mistakes. Dont get bogged down in the status quo, be willing to take chances and possibly fail we learn through failure. Be willing to walk through the consequences, let others see what could happen with inaction One of the signs of a transformational leader is creating a shared vision. In order to do so you must have buy-in. Its not easy, and not everyone will be on board with every idea. Pick and choose your battles. Remember you cant win them all, but you cant win some! Make a Difference (The big challenge): This idea also ties into transformational leadership. In our class discussions each leader had done something to help others, to make a difference. People remember those who go above and beyond, its what separates the good from the great, at least in my mind. Making a difference is finding the link between your core values and the organizational culture.

Women and Leadership | 11 Most individuals, especially women, want to help others; however it is easy to fall into traps: 1) Unwilling to stretch your skills: Dont be afraid to try something new or push yourself to the extreme. We are often stronger than we think we are. 2) Not willing to trust our expertise: Go all in, trust your knowledge and your strengths 3) Forgetting to emphasize your achievements: People only know what you show and tell them. 4) Setting to high of a goal: Start by setting small goals that help achieve the large goal. Reward yourself when those small goals have been achieved. Each of the challenges builds upon one another. This is the ultimate challenge, therefore it is often the hardest to achieve. A great leader will make a difference and here are a few strategic moves to help: 1) Engage strategic needs: Dont get distracted by the little things. Stay focused on the big picture by taking small steps. Connect tasks and goals to one another so that you know accomplish your work is beneficial. If necessary adapt to the changes that may arise and be willing to redefine your goals. 2) Fill unmet needs: Why fix something that isnt broke. Be creative and flexible. Seek out and identify unknown problems. Look for synergies and common needs while anticipating future needs.

Women and Leadership | 12 3) Make your value visible: show that actions are creating successful outcomes. Give others a reason to appreciate and want your skill. Remember you cant do it alone, so attract good and useful individuals. Leadership is complicated. While there are theories and help books to aid individuals in achieving their leadership potential, the never ending question of are people born leaders, or can they become leaders still comes to my mind. So many things that these authors mentioned are based on charisma and relationship skills. Can you learn how to be a charismatic individual? Can someone learn how to build authentic relationships, or is it a born trait? While I think you can prescribe these characteristics to another, I dont know a person they can truly be these things unless they are born with these traits. Because of this mindset, I find it hard to believe that anyone can become a leader by following certain steps. I was a little disappointed in the advice that was offered in Her place at the table. I felt as though a lot of the advice was repetitive: build relationships, be a good negotiator, push yourself. I did like the fact that they used real people and real examples to confirm their advice and it was neat to see the different theories we have studied come to life. But at times I felt as though the authors were trying too hard and just looking for things to say in order to write a book. I would have liked to have seen more concrete advice do this then this will happen. However this does refute my belief that people are born leaders. A true leader will take the advice that these authors offered, and build from it. This has been a topic of conversation since Aristotles time. For years people have created theories and argued on who/what makes a leader. I guess in 50 years, we will look back on what is said today as an antique theory. Our children will laugh

Women and Leadership | 13 and have new ideas. This book is just an example of how various theories work and is a stepping stone for what is to come next!!!