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Leaving the Past Behind 01

Dealing With the Pain of Your Past
Philippians 3:13-14 Introduction: One of the blockbuster movies in 1994 was the story of a young prince destined to be a king. Before he could take his royal place he had to first deal with the pain of his past. (Play the scene out of Lion King where the old monkey hits him on the head.) SLIDE 1 (BLACK) SLIDE 2 The past can be painful. And it can either instruct you, or paralyze you. . Your reaction to it will make the difference. Let me start with the tale of two women. (Janet and Toni). For two years in the late 1980s I met with Janet about once a week. Janet was deeply disturbed. Seriously depressed. She held an important job at a hospital but her inner world was filled with bitterness and suspicion. She thought that everyone was against her. She despised her father and hated herself. Janet had a habit of cutting herself with razor blades and abusing prescription drugs. So for two years I tried to help her get through the week. Invariably our conversations always centered on her past. Someone whod disappointed her. Someone who mistreated her. But the swing issue that she repeatedly returned to happened in the ninth grade. According to Janet everything seemed to be fine until this one event in the ninth grade. She tried out for baton twirler and was overlooked. In her mind the thing was rigged. And that single event in her past permanently poisoned her life. Now let me tell you about Toni. Toni was a single mother trying to get by. She had this winsome countenance and positive outlook that was absolutely infectious. Toni came to me one time for some prayer about a struggle she was having 1 Leaving the Past Behind 01

and in the process told me her story. I knew her life was hard, raising two boys on her own. I had no idea how hard. Toni grew up in an extremely dysfunctional home. Abusive father and crazy mother. She told me that her mother was living with a man because she had already been married the maximum number of times in the state of Texas. I didnt know there was a max. At least that is what her mother told her. Toni started to go to church on her own as a teenager. No mother or dad to encourage her. ON her own, she gave her life to Christ, got involved in the ministries of the church and felt led into Christian service. So she went to Bible College. At the Bible College Toni met a boy who was the son of missionaries. She said one night when he took her home they were saying good night out at the car when her mother suddenly came crashing through the front door, chasing her live-in-lover around the yard with a butcher knife. Toni laughed at the memory. She said that at the time it wasnt funny. Imagine trying to make a good impression on this fellow you met at bible college and here comes your crazy mom swinging a butcher knife and cussing like a sailor. Toni figured, There goes another boyfriend. In retrospect it might have been better, because she wound up marrying the bum. He was a youth pastor in a church. They had many problems in ministry. But through it all she was content that she was in the middle of Gods will. Then one day her husband broke the news. He was leaving the ministry. She was devastated. How could he leave the ministry. She loved being in ministry with him. He became a police officer. Toni took a job as a secretary. While on the beat he fell in love with another woman and eventually left Toni. Toni struggled to survive the blow. She was a broken woman. But she still had two wonderful sons. So she made them her focus. The older of the two rebelled. In an effort to keep him out of more trouble Toni had him placed in a home for troubled teens. He was still there when I was talking to her. Missing that boy nearly broke her heart. But he had the structure and discipline he needed. Then came the cancer. Of all things Toni got cancer. Surgery was a double radical mastectomy. Chemo. Recovery. Toni was still in her 40s and dealing with feeling ugly and unwanted. Leaving the Past Behind 01

11/21/11 1:11 PM ill. . . Saw a T-shirt the other day, The older I get the better I was. But she never turned sour. She never let her past overpower her. She lived life fresh. And she cared for others. Talk about extremes. One woman who isnt elected baton twirler and it ruins her life. The other who is dealt a series of the most difficult blows imaginable and she continues living with joy and grace. What made the difference? How each one handled the pain of her past! Over the next few weeks I want to explore what it means to make peace with your past. This morning I want to begin by looking at Philippians 3:13-14 SLIDE 3 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Leaving Your Past Behind. SLIDE 4 although I myself might have confidence even in the flesh. If anyone else has a mind to put confidence in the flesh, I far more: SLIDE 6 5 circumcised the eighth day, of the nation of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the Law, a Pharisee; SLIDE 7 6 as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to the righteousness which is in the Law, found blameless. Paul was baby of the month down at the local synagogue. He was trained from an early age in the best Jewish schools. SLIDE 8 Acts 22:3 "I am a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia, but brought up in this city, educated under Gamaliel, strictly according to the law of our fathers, being zealous for God, just as you all are today. To mention that you were a student of Gamaliel was like saying that you had a degree from Harvard. In the ancient world they had three names for teacher. SLIDE 9 Rab, CLICK 1 which meant, teacher. CLICK 2 Rabbi, CLICK 3 which meant my teacher. CLICK 4 And Rabbon, CLICK 5 which meant "Our teacher."CLICK 6 These were ranked in order. Rabbon was the highest rank. There were only seven Rabbons in the entire world and Gamaliel was one. CLICK 7 Paul learned at Gamaliels feet. He climbed through the ranks of the Jewish system until he reached the top: Pharisee, member of the Sanhedrin. Like being a member of Congress. Paul was an extremely important man. But all the power and prestige couldnt compensate for the pain of his past. Paul had some skeletons in his closet that were haunting him. SLIDE 10 Leaving the Past Behind 01 We can do that too. I think Paul could have easily done that. HE HAD SOME SUCCESSES. Wall full of trophies. He was at the top of the pile. He refused to do that. Look up to verses 4-6. SLIDE 5

I.

Get On Top Of Your Past. CLICK 1

The one thing we all have in common is a past. You never leave it behind. The first thing we must realize is our past is not really past. You are marked by it. We all are. We are shaped by our families, our experiences, and our genetics. In fact your past is what makes you who you are. Good or bad. So if you want to I get over your past, you have to first get on top of it. This starts with an honest appraisal. Clue to Pauls wisdom in the first part of verse 13. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; CLICK 2 Lets grab a handful of context so that this will come alive.

Two tendencies when people look at their pasts. A. Minimize Your Wrongs By Emphasizing Your Wins. CLICK 3
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11/21/11 1:11 PM Acts 7:58 CLICK 1, 2 And when they had driven him out of the city, they began stoning him, and the witnesses laid aside their robes at the feet of a young man named Saul. Interesting note. SAUL WAS PAUL. CLICK 3 Acts 8:1 SLIDE 11 And Saul was in hearty agreement with putting him to death. How do we know that? Who wrote Acts? Luke. Luke was one of Pauls companions on his mission trips. Late night around the fire. They might have been talking about the early days. Paul might have told him about that terrible moment. Part of a crowd mentality. I was there the day they stoned Steven. All quiet. Young up and coming Jew. Wanting to impress the leaders. It was cool that evening. Everyone had on an extra coat. They couldnt get a good throw. So they asked me if I would hold the coats while they did the killing. I was actually for it. Years later when meticulous Luke wanted to chronicle the events of Pentecost Because Saul, Paul, told Luke. Luke wrote the book! SLIDE 12 Paul didnt look back and see only the trophies. He never forgot that day. He took a good hard look at himself and said, all that stuff that I thought made me right couldnt make up for what made me wrong. I count it all loss. There is profound honesty in what he said, Verse 7. CLICK 1 But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. SLIDE 13 The other extreme is to see only the pain AND BLAME OTHERS FOR IT. One of the consistent themes I heard from Janet for two years was how mistreated she was. How others forced her into that black hole. I never heard Toni blame anyone. Not even her husband. SLIDE 15 You never hear Paul blame either. He never said, The system failed me. He could have. He did everything they said and couldnt find peace. He never blamed his parents or his teachers. It wasnt his Jewish mother or Roman fathers fault. You will never get over the past until you honestly appraise it. One more thing: GET OVER YOUR PAST. CLICK 1 Next frame, his arms folded across his chest: My behavior is addictive functioning in a disease process of toxic codependency! I need holistic healing and wellness before Ill accept any responsibility for my actions. Hobbs is stunned, One of us needs to stick his head in a bucket of ice water. Calvin replies, I love the culture of victimhood.

II.

Get Over Your Past.

But one thing, the original is so strong because there is no verb CLICK 2 in this statement. Greek didnt need a verb. We supply one so that it will translate smoothly into English. He literally said, But this one! Not I do. Just one! Emphasis on one and only. Not the first in the list. Not one of many. One! SLIDE 16 One thing I do: forget! CLICK 1 You say Id love to but how! How can a person whos done something really bad ever get over it? I have a close friend who, when he was twelve, took a boy up a mountainside that he was told to stay off. The boy went back the next day and fell to his death. My friend had to deal with that. Same friend in his high school was on a lake coming home from a day of drinking and skiing. His friend driving the boat was turned talking to him when the boat hit a wave and careened into a rock cliff. The driver of the boat, my friends best friend was killed on impact. My friend was the last person to see that boy alive. He said they dove frantically in the deep water to help but he was gone. He later said that to his shame, when they realized that their buddy was dead all they could think about was hiding the beer. They didnt want their parents to know. Leaving the Past Behind 01

B. Dont Emphasize the Wrongs and Look To Blame CLICK 1

We live in an age of victimization! SLIDE 14 Bill Waterston CLICK 1 the writer of Calvin and Hobbs ridiculed this tendency in one of his popular comic strips. Calvin is walking along in the snow with Hobbs close behind. Nothing I do is my fault. Hobbs scratches his head as Calvin explains, My family is dysfunctional and my parents wont empower me! Consequently, Im not self-actualized! 3 Leaving the Past Behind 01

11/21/11 1:11 PM Before he was twenty hed been somehow involved in the deaths of two friends. Try to feed my friend some clich like, Put it all behind you and get on with life. . . Hell give you an ear full. The truth is we do need to put the past behind us. We look at ourselves and admit, yeah, there is a lot wrong with my life. But where do I go with this junk? Jesus is the place where your leave the pain of your past. Its a supernatural thing. He brings healing. And rest from the pain. Powerful verse: Matthew 11:28. SLIDE 17 Let me show you a different way of looking at it. "Come to Me, CLICK1 All who are weary and heavy-laden, CLICK 2 and CLICK 3 I will give you CLICK 4 rest. CLICK 5 Come to me and Rest CLICK 6 Even from the pain of your past. CLICK 7 LEAVE THIS SLIDE UP UNTIL THE PRAYER.

Leaving the Past Behind 01

Leaving the Past Behind 01