Professional Documents
Culture Documents
CROWNED IN MARRIAGE
Seeking New Life
Revd Dr Doru Costache
It has been some time now since Christians realised that family has ceased to be – in
the eyes of contemporary sociologists and politicians – the cornerstone of society,
and that together with it the ideal of a social body founded on communion has
become in many ways obsolete. And in fact what we witness in this world dominated
by individualism and egocentrism is that in the process of defending their rights (or
rather mere indulgencies), many people become nowadays oblivious with regard to
the others’ rights, aspirations and needs; for many, generosity and compassion seem
to have lost their traditional significance.
In the following, the readers will find a brief account of the ecclesial wisdom
concerning marriage and family life, as conveyed in the liturgical services of betrothal
and crowning. On the one hand, these may be seen as implicit guidelines to be
considered by those wondering why in our society families do not hold together;
given that most people ignore the very basics of ecclesial life there is no surprise with
them feeling helpless before contemporary pressures and challenges. On the other
hand, these guidelines may be also useful to people who, having received the crowns
of blessing, did not grasp their meaning yet still look to improve the quality of their
family life.
Although we have at our disposal only scarce documentary data, apparently the
wedding ceremony was performed in the early Church as a blessing within the Divine
Liturgy. This custom stressed the ecclesial and spiritual dimensions of marriage.
Indeed, according to St Gregory of Nyssa’s treatise On Virginity marriage has been
perceived from the outset as a Christian leitourgia; that is, a sacred office that
encapsulates more than the current idea of household management. In line with this
understanding, the current wedding ceremony promotes in a mystagogical manner a
powerful message, spiritual in nature. Basically, it constitutes an appeal to
communion that should be taken into consideration by those willing to succeed in this
first true social experiment, namely family life.
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rare these days; one might note that apparently there is a lot of love around although
not much commitment… In the case of people receiving the marital blessing as a
fulfilment of their union, mutual commitment is shown symbolically within the service
by the rings they exchange and by the partaking of the ‘common cup’. In light of
these two symbolic acts, it becomes clear that commitment goes hand in hand with a
profound sense of (inter)personal transformation.
Thus, the two acts indicate the pair’s willingness to be part of each other’s life and to
share in all matters, each leaving behind their idiosyncrasies for the sake of the
other. It is not by chance therefore, that in the scriptural texts read within the service
of crowning, the wedding appears as endowed with mystical character – a true
sacrament of communion – since it takes place ‘in the Lord’ (see 1 Corinthians 7:39).
Thus, the apostolic reading (from Ephesians 5:20-33) asserts the sanctity of marriage
by assimilating it to the love between Christ and his Church. In turn, the evangelic
lecture (from John 2:1-11), speaking of the change of water into wine on the occasion
of the wedding in Cana of Galilee, suggests spiritual transformation as a fundamental
dimension of Christian marriage. This message of transformation is in fact conveyed
by the entire process of consecration.
In this algorithm the personal value of each is safeguarded and nurtured; however, it
is clear that within such a framework there is not much allowance for the ego, which
is challenged to attain fulfilment by taking the cross of acknowledging the other. This
sacrificial dynamic, inherent in all dimensions pertaining to Christian life, leads St
Maximus the Confessor to point out the validity of both ascetic ways – marriage and
celibacy – in regard to realising the virtuous path (see his Difficulty 10:31a5).
The idea, ultimately, of both the sacrament’s order and traditional literature (worth
mentioning here are the homilies dedicated to marriage by St John Chrysostom) is
that without spiritual progress there is no accomplished married life. Or, within
contemporary society with its individualist features and propensities, the very spirit
of marriage is negotiated and in the end dramatically compromised.
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The wisdom is there, in our very tradition; the lesson is served by the Church. Yet,
how can the miracle of family life still happen within the context of an individualist
and anti-traditional culture? I guess this and many other things remain entirely up to
us; the ball is on our court. Are we not those believing that if we want, we can?
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