Impromptu Round 1 Speaker 1 1. Never second-guess inspiration. -Flannery O Connor 2. "Everything is changing.

People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke." Will Rogers 3. Once we realize that imperfect understanding is the human condition there is no shame in being wrong, only in failing to correct our mistakes. George Soros Speaker 2 1. If it s in the groove, everybody loves it. Howlin Wolf 2. "A mere forty years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about." Newt Gingrich 3. If the eyes had no tears, the soul would have no rainbow Native American Proverb Speaker 3 1. He did not know he could not fly, so he did. -Guy Clark 2. "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." Dan Quayle 3. Judge of a man by his questions rather than by his answers. Voltaire Speaker 4 1. You will miss sunrise if you close your eyes Townes Van Zandt 2. "If you don't mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream." Barry Goldwater 3. Money and success don t change people; they merely amplify what is already there. Will Smith Speaker 5 1. All my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen. John Prine 2. ''I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.'' Ronald Reagan 3. There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same. Chinese Proverb Speaker 6 1. Have pity on the General, King, and the captain. They know they re expendable. After all, they re men. Loudon Wainwright III 2. ''If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it's possible that I'm a little too awesome.'' Barack Obama 3. There would be nothing to frighten you if you refused to be afraid. Gandhi Speaker 7 1. There s a crack in everything. That s how the light gets in. Leonard Cohen 2. ''Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.'' Lyndon Johnson 3. Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can t lose. Bill Gates

Impromptu Round 2 Speaker 1 1. Love conquers all. Virgil 2. ''I have two grandchildren Maggie is 11, Robert is 9. I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time they're my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists and with no understanding of what it once meant to be an American.'' Newt Gingrich 3. You can t roller-skate in a buffalo herd. Roger Miller Speaker2 1. Attitude is everything. Charles Swindoll 2. Printing more money to play politics at this particular time in American history is almost treacherous or treasonous in my opinion.'' Rick Perry 3. You can t take a shower in a parakeet cage. Roger Miiler Speaker 3 1. Hope springs eternal. Alexander Pope 2. 'I'm ready for the 'gotcha' questions and they're already starting to come. And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I'm going to say, you know, I don't know. Do you know?'' Herman Cain 3. You can t change film with a kid on your back Roger Miller Speaker 4 1. Success leaves clues. Jim Rohn 2. ''I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter. I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting coincidence.'' Michelle Bachman 3. You can t go swimming in a baseball pool. Roger Miller Speaker 5 1. Anger spells dANGER. Jonathan Lockwood Huie 2. ''Isn't that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?'' Rick Santorum 3. You can t drive around with a tiger in your car. Roger Miller Speaker 6 1. Love is blind. William Shakespeare 2. I should tell my story. I m also unemployed. Mitt Romney 3. You can t go fishing in a watermelon patch. Roger Miiler Speaker 7 1. Envy breeds hate. Yiddish Proverb 2. 1913 wasn't a very good year. 1913 gave us the income tax, the 16th amendment and the IRS. Ron Paul 3. You can be happy if you ve a mind to. Roger Miller

Impromptu Round 3 Speaker 1 1. The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them. Rush Limbaugh 2. Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say She doesn t have what it takes. They will say Women don t have what they take. Clare Boothe Luce 3. God is not only true, but Truth itself. Pope Leo XIII Speaker 2 1. ''Whether they are defending the Soviet Union or bleating for Saddam Hussein, liberals are always against America. They are either traitors or idiots.'' Ann Coulter 2. Feminism is the radical notion that women are people. Paula Treichler 3. I have looked into your eyes with my eyes. I have put my heart near your heart. Pope John XXIII Speaker 3 1. ''I went to the movie this weekend with a gun. And surprise, surprise, I didn't kill anybody!'' Glenn Beck 2. I see my body as an instrument rather than an ornament. Alanis Morissette 3. The future starts today, not tomorrow. Pope John Paul II Speaker 4 1. ''We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.'' Michael Steele 2. History is herstory too. Anonymous 3. Silence gives consent Pope Boniface VIII Speaker 5 1. ''The greatest threat to America is not necessarily a recession or even another terrorist attack. The greatest threat to America is a liberal media bias.'' Lamar Smith 2. Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths. Lois Wyse 3. In youth the days are short and the years are long. In old age the years are short and day's long. Pope Paul VI Speaker 6 1. I do not want to live in a county where anytime a citizen or a corporation does something that is legitimately wrong, [it is] subject to some sort of political pressure that, again, in my words, amounts to a shakedown.'' Joe Barton 2. A woman reading playboy feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual. Gloria Steinman 3. God is not solitude, but perfect communion. For this reason the human person, the image of God, realizes himself or herself in love, which is a sincere gift of self. Pope Benedict XVI Speaker 7 1. The exact phrase 'separation of Church and State' came out of Adolph Hitler's mouth, that's where it comes from. So the next time your liberal friends talk about the separation of Church and State, ask them why they're Nazis.'' Glen Urquhart 2. Ecological destruction is at its base misogynist. Betty Reardon 3. Anger is as a stone cast into a wasp's nest. Pope Paul VI

Impromptu Semifinals Speaker 1 1. Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. Ani DiFranco 2. When can I go into the supermarket and buy what I need with my good looks? Allen Ginsberg 3. My generation will only protest something that threatens their facebook. firstworldme , Twitter user Speaker 2 1. I wonder who would lead us if none of us would vote. Larry Norman 2. Rock out like your hero is fallen and you are spinning your limbs until they burst into a burning fire of remembrance. Anis Mojgani 3. Ugh, accidentally used the feta stuffed olives instead of blue cheese stuffed olives for my martini. Chrissizzay , Twitter user Speaker 3 1. You ve got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight. Bruce Cockburn 2. I will love you till I become a child again, when feeding me and bathing me is no longer romantic, but rather necessary. Derrick Brown 3. I have to keep turning up the volume on my tv because I can t hear over my chewing. Karluhaaa , Twitter user Speaker 4 1. I have believed in money but all I got was greed. I have believed in vengeance but all I did was bleed. Peter Himmelman 2. The poet climbs on rime to a high wire of his own making Lawrence Ferlinghetti 3. I don t feel like getting a free education tomorrow. ChrissGrenierr , Twitter user Speaker 5 1. Talking about a revolution sounds like a whisper. Tracy Chapman 2. The kind of books I write aren t the kind that sell. Howie Good 3. 140 characters is not long enough. Kelly_probz , Twitter user Speaker 6 1. The mouths of the best poets speak but a few words and then lay down, stone cold, in forgotten fields. Mark Heard 2. Don't covet thy neighbor's spiritual connections with his powerful icon for capitalism or thou shall besmirch thy cattle-tonic glum hopper with unnecessarily forlorn animosity Jules Boykoff 3. The light on my dvr is too bright. kbthekillaa , Twitter user Speaker 7 1. This criminal is dangerous the criminal under my own hat. T-Bone Burnett 2. Can the heart compute desire s trajectory? Dennis Brutus 3. Downloading stuff takes so longggg. LUPT0N , Twitter user

Impromptu Final Round: Number One Hits of 1973 (all of these are taken from songs that reached number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1973) Speaker 1 1. When you believe in things you don t understand, then you suffer. Wonder 2. They ll never kill the thrill we got. Elton John 3. He looked right through me as if I wasn t there Roberta Flack

Stevie

Speaker 2 1. People all over the world: join hands. The O Jays 2. Don t trust your soul to no backwoods, southern lawyer. Vicki Lawrence 3. If I thought our love was ending I d find myself drowning in my own tears. Stevie Wonder Speaker 3 1. Give me hope. Help me cope with this heavy load. George Harrison 2. Let the bad guy win every once in a while Billy Preston 3. We have a chance to find the sunshine. Let s keep on lookin for the light. Maureen McGovern Speaker 4 1) Let s just be glad for the time together. Diana Ross 2) Don t you know how sweet and wonderful life can be? Marvin Gaye 3) We re coming to your town. We ll help you party it down. Grand Funk Speaker 5 1) I d rather live in his world than live without him in mine. Gladys Knight 2) With no loving in our souls and no money in our coats, you can t say we re satisfied. Rolling Stones 3) When the day is through I hope that I will find that tomorrow will be just the same for you and me. Carpenters Speaker 6 1) There never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do. Jim Croce 2) I woke up this morning and realized what I had done. Charlie Rich 3) Every time I see your face it reminds me of the places we used to go. Ringo Starr Speaker 7 1) I ve got a fever rising with desire. Eddie Kendricks 2) The other children always laughed at me. "Give her a feather, she's a Cherokee" Cher 3) I felt all flushed with fever embarrassed by the crowd. Roberta Flack